Week 3
Our 2nd semi-official season of blaming Cole Walters for Jonathan Papelbon's existence
Current Standings
SVP Division
Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds (Father Aschebrook) 3-0 W3
Sneen Machine (Tyler Sneen) 2-1 W2
Nick's Mopey Team of Sadness (Nick Zurawski) 2-1 W1
Team Moon (Evan Moon) 1-2 L2
Team Aschebrook (Scott Aschebrook) 0-3 L3
Russillo Division
Team Swanson (Alec Swanson) 2-1 W2
Spider 2 Y Banana (Andy Todd) 2-1 W1
Team Silka (Alex Silka) 2-1 L1
Frick The Haters (Cole Walters) 1-2 L1
Team Tiffany (Josh Tiffany) 0-3 L3
Week Three Final Scores
ZURAWSKI 124 WALTERS 94
TODD 135 SILKA 82
ASCHEBROOK SR. 160 MOON 114
SWANSON 145 TIFFANY 104
SNEEN 111 ASCHEBROOK 104
Heroes of the Week: WR A.J. Green (Swanson), WR Steve Smith Sr. (Sneen), RB Devonta Freeman (Aschebrook Sr.)
Zeros of the Week: WR Roddy White (Silka), RB Chris Ivory (Walters), K Andrew Franks (Todd)
Upcoming Week 4 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)
Spider 2 Y Banana vs. Sneen Machine
Nick's Mopey Team of Sadness vs. Team Moon
Frick The Haters vs. Team Swanson
Team Aschebrook vs. Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds
Team Silka vs. Team Tiffany
BYE WEEK: Tennessee Titans & New England Patriots
Thursday Game: Baltimore @ Pittsburgh 7:25 PM
Sunday: Jets vs. Miami (@ LONDON) 8:30 AM
Jacksonville @ Indianapolis NOON
NY Giants @ Buffalo NOON
Carolina @ Tampa Bay NOON
Philadelphia @ Washington NOON
Oakland @ Chicago NOON
Houston @ Atlanta NOON
Kansas City @ Cincinnati NOON
Cleveland @ San Diego 3:05 PM
Green Bay @ San Francisco 3:25 PM
St. Louis @ Arizona 3:25 PM
Minnesota @ Denver 3:25 PM
Dallas @ New Orleans 7:30 PM
Monday: Detroit @ Seattle 7:25 PM
Bro...
For the first time in nearly a decade, it feels as though we have left an NFL weekend without the NFL being the top story in sports. It was a refreshing twist on an already twist-heavy season (BY GAWWD, THAT'S MICHAEL VICK'S MUSIC!) even though the most talked about story of the weekend was a fight between teammates (Bryce Harper and Jonathan Papelbon). I won't get into it too much. since this is still a football post after all, but I'd expect Papelbon to be on another team other than the Washington Nationals in 2016.
I know I said I was done talking about it, but we're coming off of a surprisingly quiet football weekend and I don't think the nation has been as pumped for the baseball playoffs to start ASAP since the McGwire-Sosa years. It's really great to see perennial failures like the Kansas City Royals, Chicago Cubs, Toronto Blue Jays and Pittsburgh Pirates in real-life World Series contention and I would gladly keep my television tuned to playoff baseball over the dreadful mistake that is Thursday Night Football.
About that football league... Aschebrook Senior (no relation to Steve Smith Senior) has built a team as strong as the New England Patriots as his team is scoring points like he wants revenge on all of us even though we've never played in a league with him (officially). What's his deal and why is his team so filled with rage? I don't know, but things could always turn sour (or super sweet for the 0-3 teams) like when New England was pronounced dead at this point last year. They only went on to win a Super Bowl. Team Tiffany has had DeSean Jackson in his lineup for three weeks despite a hamstring injury and despite everything I just said about the first three weeks not defining a season, Josh is in trouble of turning in a Bak-like season and I would be shocked to see him drop a 150-point game on anyone with his Broncos under-performing and Jackson still on the mend. All anybody needs is a few waiver moves to kick their seasons into gear or completely screw with their lineup after giving up on someone too soon. Fantasy Football is just as unpredictable as the real thing.
2015 Scoring Leaders
QB
Tom Brady 77 (TODD)
Aaron Rodgers 77 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Matt Ryan 55 (SWANSON)
Russell Wilson 51 (SILKA)
Peyton Manning 43 (TIFFANY)
Andrew Luck 41 (ZURAWSKI)
Carson Palmer 39 (ASCHEBROOK)
Drew Brees 28 (SNEEN)
Sam Bradford 27 (MOON)
Ben Roethlisberger 23 (WALTERS)
Ryan Tannehill 11 (ASCHEBROOK)
Tony Romo 6 (WALTERS)
Colin Kaepernick 4 (SNEEN)
RB
Jamaal Charles 68 (ASCHEBROOK)
Mark Ingram 51 (ZURAWSKI)
Adrian Peterson 50 (MOON)
Matt Forte 48 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Carlos Hyde 47 (TODD)
Danny Woodhead 44 (TIFFANY)
Devonta Freeman 42 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Latavius Murray 38 (MOON)
LeSean McCoy 33 (WALTERS)
DeAngelo Williams 30 (SILKA)
Chris Ivory 29 (WALTERS)
Marshawn Lynch 28 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK)
DeMarco Murray 27 (SNEEN)
Le'Veon Bell 26 (ZURAWSKI)
Justin Forsett 26 (SNEEN)
Lamar Miller 24 (SWANSON)
Jonathan Stewart 23 (TIFFANY)
Ameer Abdullah 20 (TODD)
Jeremy Hill 20 (MOON)
Eddie Lacy 17 (SILKA)
T.J. Yeldon 16 (SNEEN)
Doug Martin 13 (SWANSON)
C.J. Anderson 12 (TIFFANY)
Alfred Morris 12 (SILKA)
Tevin Coleman 9 (ZURAWSKI)
Melvin Gordon 7 (WALTERS)
Chris Johnson 7 (ASCHEBROOK)
David Johnson 6 (SILKA)
Darren Sproles 6 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Alfred Blue 5 (ZURAWSKI)
Frank Gore 5 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Bishop Sankey 4 (WALTERS)
Isaiah Crowell 3 (SILKA)
Darren McFadden 3 (ASCHEBROOK)
Matt Jones 1 (TODD)
WR
Julio Jones 101 (TODD)
Antonio Brown 85 (SNEEN)
Larry Fitzgerald 71 (SWANSON)
Keenan Allen 69 (TIFFANY)
Julian Edelman 69 (SILKA)
Randall Cobb 68 (TODD)
A.J. Green 68 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)
DeAndre Hopkins 66 (ZURAWSKI)
Odell Beckham Jr. 56 (WALTERS)
Emmanuel Sanders 56 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Jarvis Landry 55 (ZURAWSKI)
Demaryius Thomas 54 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)
Jordan Matthews 50 (SNEEN)
Steve Smith Sr. 46 (SNEEN)
Calvin Johnson 44 (SILKA)
Golden Tate 30 (ASCHEBROOK)
T.Y. Hilton 28 (WALTERS)
Malcom Floyd 23 (WALTERS)
Kendall Wright 23 (TODD)
Sammy Watkins 22 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Brandin Cooks 19 (TODD)
Mike Wallace 18 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Davante Adams 17 (MOON)
Mike Evans 17 (MOON)
Tyler Lockett 13 (SILKA)
Donte Moncrief 13 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Travis Benjamin 12 (ASCHEBROOK)
Pierre Garcon 11 (ZURAWSKI)
Andre Johnson 11 (ZURAWSKI)
Stevie Johnson 7 (ASCHEBROOK)
Brandon Coleman 6 (ASCHEBROOK)
Charles Johnson 4 (MOON)
Allen Robinson 3 (MOON)
TE
Rob Gronkowski 70 (ZURAWSKI)
Travis Kelce 53 (WALTERS)
Jason Witten 50 (TIFFANY)
Greg Olsen 48 (MOON)
Tyler Eifert 45 (SWANSON)
Jimmy Graham 40 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Martellus Bennett 29 (SNEEN)
Delanie Walker 26 (TODD)
Jordan Cameron 24 (SILKA)
Dwayne Allen 10 (ASCHEBROOK)
Jared Cook 9 (TODD)
Austin Seferian-Jenkins 4 (ASCHEBROOK)
Kyle Rudolph 3 (ASCHEBROOK)
K
Stephen Gostkowski 40 (ASCHEBROOK)
Steven Hauschka 34 (TIFFANY)
Mason Crosby 32 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Matt Bryant 31 (WALTERS)
Justin Tucker 30 (SNEEN)
Dan Bailey 21 (MOON)
Cody Parkey 16 (SILKA)
Andrew Franks 14 (TODD)
Matt Prater 8 (ZURAWSKI)
Brandon McManus 7 (SWANSON)
Adam Vinatieri -1 (SWANSON)
DF
Denver Broncos 55 (SILKA)
Seattle Seahawks 37 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
New York Jets 34 (MOON)
Carolina Panthers 30 (ZURAWSKI/SWANSON)
St. Louis Rams 28 (SNEEN)
Buffalo Bills 20 (WALTERS)
New England Patriots 20 (TIFFANY)
Houston Texans 12 (ASCHEBROOK)
Miami Dolphins 7 (TODD)
Arizona Cardinals 1 (SWANSON)
Baltimore Ravens -3 (SWANSON)
Cleveland Browns -3 (ZURAWSKI)
Hypothetical Standings (If the 5 highest scoring teams were winners each week)
Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds 3-0
Spider 2 Y Banana 3-0
Team Silka 2-1
Sneen Machine 2-1
Nick's Mopey Team of Sadness 2-1
Team Swanson 2-1
Team Moon 1-2
Team Aschebrook 0-3
Team Tiffany 0-3
Current Standings
SVP Division
Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds (Father Aschebrook) 3-0 W3
Sneen Machine (Tyler Sneen) 2-1 W2
Nick's Mopey Team of Sadness (Nick Zurawski) 2-1 W1
Team Moon (Evan Moon) 1-2 L2
Team Aschebrook (Scott Aschebrook) 0-3 L3
Russillo Division
Team Swanson (Alec Swanson) 2-1 W2
Spider 2 Y Banana (Andy Todd) 2-1 W1
Team Silka (Alex Silka) 2-1 L1
Frick The Haters (Cole Walters) 1-2 L1
Team Tiffany (Josh Tiffany) 0-3 L3
Week Three Final Scores
ZURAWSKI 124 WALTERS 94
TODD 135 SILKA 82
ASCHEBROOK SR. 160 MOON 114
SWANSON 145 TIFFANY 104
SNEEN 111 ASCHEBROOK 104
 |
| Rob Carr/Getty Images Hero of the Week: WR A.J. Green (Team Swanson) |
Zeros of the Week: WR Roddy White (Silka), RB Chris Ivory (Walters), K Andrew Franks (Todd)
 |
| Matthew Emmons - USA TODAY Sports Back-to-back Zero of the Week: WR Roddy White (Frick The Haters) |
Spider 2 Y Banana vs. Sneen Machine
Nick's Mopey Team of Sadness vs. Team Moon
Frick The Haters vs. Team Swanson
Team Aschebrook vs. Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds
Team Silka vs. Team Tiffany
BYE WEEK: Tennessee Titans & New England Patriots
Thursday Game: Baltimore @ Pittsburgh 7:25 PM
Sunday: Jets vs. Miami (@ LONDON) 8:30 AM
Jacksonville @ Indianapolis NOON
NY Giants @ Buffalo NOON
Carolina @ Tampa Bay NOON
Philadelphia @ Washington NOON
Oakland @ Chicago NOON
Houston @ Atlanta NOON
Kansas City @ Cincinnati NOON
Cleveland @ San Diego 3:05 PM
Green Bay @ San Francisco 3:25 PM
St. Louis @ Arizona 3:25 PM
Minnesota @ Denver 3:25 PM
Dallas @ New Orleans 7:30 PM
Monday: Detroit @ Seattle 7:25 PM
Bro...
For the first time in nearly a decade, it feels as though we have left an NFL weekend without the NFL being the top story in sports. It was a refreshing twist on an already twist-heavy season (BY GAWWD, THAT'S MICHAEL VICK'S MUSIC!) even though the most talked about story of the weekend was a fight between teammates (Bryce Harper and Jonathan Papelbon). I won't get into it too much. since this is still a football post after all, but I'd expect Papelbon to be on another team other than the Washington Nationals in 2016.
 |
| Getty Images The cover of the newest novel, 50 Shades of Bryce Harper. |
About that football league... Aschebrook Senior (no relation to Steve Smith Senior) has built a team as strong as the New England Patriots as his team is scoring points like he wants revenge on all of us even though we've never played in a league with him (officially). What's his deal and why is his team so filled with rage? I don't know, but things could always turn sour (or super sweet for the 0-3 teams) like when New England was pronounced dead at this point last year. They only went on to win a Super Bowl. Team Tiffany has had DeSean Jackson in his lineup for three weeks despite a hamstring injury and despite everything I just said about the first three weeks not defining a season, Josh is in trouble of turning in a Bak-like season and I would be shocked to see him drop a 150-point game on anyone with his Broncos under-performing and Jackson still on the mend. All anybody needs is a few waiver moves to kick their seasons into gear or completely screw with their lineup after giving up on someone too soon. Fantasy Football is just as unpredictable as the real thing.
2015 Scoring Leaders
QB
Tom Brady 77 (TODD)
Aaron Rodgers 77 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Matt Ryan 55 (SWANSON)
Russell Wilson 51 (SILKA)
Peyton Manning 43 (TIFFANY)
Andrew Luck 41 (ZURAWSKI)
Carson Palmer 39 (ASCHEBROOK)
Drew Brees 28 (SNEEN)
Sam Bradford 27 (MOON)
Ben Roethlisberger 23 (WALTERS)
Ryan Tannehill 11 (ASCHEBROOK)
Tony Romo 6 (WALTERS)
Colin Kaepernick 4 (SNEEN)
RB
Jamaal Charles 68 (ASCHEBROOK)
Mark Ingram 51 (ZURAWSKI)
Adrian Peterson 50 (MOON)
Matt Forte 48 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Carlos Hyde 47 (TODD)
Danny Woodhead 44 (TIFFANY)
Devonta Freeman 42 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Latavius Murray 38 (MOON)
LeSean McCoy 33 (WALTERS)
DeAngelo Williams 30 (SILKA)
Chris Ivory 29 (WALTERS)
Marshawn Lynch 28 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK)
DeMarco Murray 27 (SNEEN)
Le'Veon Bell 26 (ZURAWSKI)
Justin Forsett 26 (SNEEN)
Lamar Miller 24 (SWANSON)
Jonathan Stewart 23 (TIFFANY)
Ameer Abdullah 20 (TODD)
Jeremy Hill 20 (MOON)
Eddie Lacy 17 (SILKA)
T.J. Yeldon 16 (SNEEN)
Doug Martin 13 (SWANSON)
C.J. Anderson 12 (TIFFANY)
Alfred Morris 12 (SILKA)
Tevin Coleman 9 (ZURAWSKI)
Melvin Gordon 7 (WALTERS)
Chris Johnson 7 (ASCHEBROOK)
David Johnson 6 (SILKA)
Darren Sproles 6 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Alfred Blue 5 (ZURAWSKI)
Frank Gore 5 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Bishop Sankey 4 (WALTERS)
Isaiah Crowell 3 (SILKA)
Darren McFadden 3 (ASCHEBROOK)
Matt Jones 1 (TODD)
WR
Julio Jones 101 (TODD)
Antonio Brown 85 (SNEEN)
Larry Fitzgerald 71 (SWANSON)
Keenan Allen 69 (TIFFANY)
Julian Edelman 69 (SILKA)
Randall Cobb 68 (TODD)
A.J. Green 68 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)
DeAndre Hopkins 66 (ZURAWSKI)
Odell Beckham Jr. 56 (WALTERS)
Emmanuel Sanders 56 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Jarvis Landry 55 (ZURAWSKI)
Demaryius Thomas 54 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)
Jordan Matthews 50 (SNEEN)
Steve Smith Sr. 46 (SNEEN)
Calvin Johnson 44 (SILKA)
Golden Tate 30 (ASCHEBROOK)
T.Y. Hilton 28 (WALTERS)
Malcom Floyd 23 (WALTERS)
Kendall Wright 23 (TODD)
Sammy Watkins 22 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Brandin Cooks 19 (TODD)
Mike Wallace 18 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Davante Adams 17 (MOON)
Mike Evans 17 (MOON)
Tyler Lockett 13 (SILKA)
Donte Moncrief 13 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Travis Benjamin 12 (ASCHEBROOK)
Pierre Garcon 11 (ZURAWSKI)
Andre Johnson 11 (ZURAWSKI)
Stevie Johnson 7 (ASCHEBROOK)
Brandon Coleman 6 (ASCHEBROOK)
Charles Johnson 4 (MOON)
Allen Robinson 3 (MOON)
TE
Rob Gronkowski 70 (ZURAWSKI)
Travis Kelce 53 (WALTERS)
Jason Witten 50 (TIFFANY)
Greg Olsen 48 (MOON)
Tyler Eifert 45 (SWANSON)
Jimmy Graham 40 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Martellus Bennett 29 (SNEEN)
Delanie Walker 26 (TODD)
Jordan Cameron 24 (SILKA)
Dwayne Allen 10 (ASCHEBROOK)
Jared Cook 9 (TODD)
Austin Seferian-Jenkins 4 (ASCHEBROOK)
Kyle Rudolph 3 (ASCHEBROOK)
K
Stephen Gostkowski 40 (ASCHEBROOK)
Steven Hauschka 34 (TIFFANY)
Mason Crosby 32 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Matt Bryant 31 (WALTERS)
Justin Tucker 30 (SNEEN)
Dan Bailey 21 (MOON)
Cody Parkey 16 (SILKA)
Andrew Franks 14 (TODD)
Matt Prater 8 (ZURAWSKI)
Brandon McManus 7 (SWANSON)
Adam Vinatieri -1 (SWANSON)
DF
Denver Broncos 55 (SILKA)
Seattle Seahawks 37 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
New York Jets 34 (MOON)
Carolina Panthers 30 (ZURAWSKI/SWANSON)
St. Louis Rams 28 (SNEEN)
Buffalo Bills 20 (WALTERS)
New England Patriots 20 (TIFFANY)
Houston Texans 12 (ASCHEBROOK)
Miami Dolphins 7 (TODD)
Arizona Cardinals 1 (SWANSON)
Baltimore Ravens -3 (SWANSON)
Cleveland Browns -3 (ZURAWSKI)
Hypothetical Standings (If the 5 highest scoring teams were winners each week)
Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds 3-0
Spider 2 Y Banana 3-0
Team Silka 2-1
Sneen Machine 2-1
Nick's Mopey Team of Sadness 2-1
Team Swanson 2-1
Team Moon 1-2
Team Aschebrook 0-3
Team Tiffany 0-3
No comments:
Post a Comment