Saturday, December 30, 2023

WRBL Week 16, 2023 (Post-Championship)

Wisconsin Rapids Bro League

Our ninth official season of blaming Cole Walters for Jaime Jaquez being the headliner for the NBA's primetime Christmas game. 

Bro... 

Damar Hamlin's two tackles... Are they enough for him to fend off the almighty and powerful Joe Flacco for Comeback Player of the Year the way he fended off death himself? I'm seriously beginning to wonder as Vegas oddsmakers are trying to push the narrative that this is a real possibility now. Of course, our WRBL Comeback OWNER of the Year was crowned this week as Nick Zurawski has been anointed as the ninth official Wisconsin Rapids Bro League Champion with his second title in three years, this time beating No-Show Cole Walters in the worst final I have ever seen with my two eyes... 128.04-71.88, I put that second number in the smallest possible font to hopefully save Cole some embarrassment. We've all had our teams come up short in pathetic fashion before (see: Nathaniel and I last week) but seriously... What the hell happened to the 96ers this week? Did he somehow trade away QB Josh Allen and WR Stefon Diggs for Week 15 Bijan Robinson and Younghoe Koo? No. In fact, everybody on the 96ers besides First Team All-Bro QB Josh Allen drew up a nightmare playbook that saw them all finish with single-digit point totals this week. Not trying to overshadow what was an impressive two-week run by 9-7 Nick Zurawski and all (hiphiphooray and all that jazz) but did you sense the shifting in the atmosphere just now? That's the momentum being gained by an all-out, Final 4 weeks of the season count, cumulative postseason where we let the cards fall where they may. Fantasy football is weird in its sheer randomness but, it's also a lot like regular NFL football in which the #1 key to victory remains atrophy. First Team All-Bro WR Tyreek Hill misses one game? See ya, Nate. His Dolphin teammate WR Jaylen Waddle gets hurt after two catches? Another no-go, no-show for Cole, yo. Remember: Outside of Quarterbacks dropping like flies, this hasn't been a big season for injuries! Running Backs like Rachaad White and Bijan Robinson were never super exciting but found a way to eclipse 200 points simply by staying on the field for me. The same goes for WRBL Champion and Second Team All-Bro RB Joe Mixon. That guy's gas tank was low before the season and looks only moderately higher in 2023 but he played every game and Nick is eternally grateful he faced no jail time for his past crime. Nick Zurawski: Supporter of Joe Mixon and WRBL Champion.

First Team All-Bro
QB - Josh Allen (Cole Walters)
RB - Christian McCaffrey (Alec Swanson)
RB - Travis Etienne (Cole Walters)
WR - Tyreek Hill (Nathaniel Hoefs)
WR - CeeDee Lamb (Jaime Sparkes)
TE - T.J. Hockenson (Alec Swanson)
FLEX - WR Amon-Ra St. Brown (Andy Todd)
K - Justin Tucker (Jaime Sparkes)
D/ST - Dallas Cowboys (Nick Zurawski)

Second Team All-Bro
QB - Jalen Hurts (Nick Zurawski)
RB - Joe Mixon (Nick Zurawski)
RB - Rachaad White (Andy Todd)
WR - A.J. Brown (Nathaniel Hoefs)
WR - Keenan Allen (Nick Zurawski)
TE - Travis Kelce (Nick Zurawski)
FLEX - WR Mike Evans (Andy Todd)
K - Jake Elliott (Nathaniel Hoefs)
D/ST - Pittsburgh Steelers (Nathaniel Hoefs)

When asked to choose a league MVP for the season, Nick Zurawski said the unthinkable "Jason Kelce". This means I have to make a stipulation going forward... In order to receive WRBL MVP, the recipient must have played an NFL down in that season. So congratulations to Eagles Center Jason Kelce on being the most productive Kelce to drag, carry and/or shove Nick into reuniting with The Shelby as soon as he's able to greet our league trophy like Scott Stapp of Creed... "With Arms Wide H-Opuhhn". As far as how the rest of the league falls...

 Official Final 2023 WRBL Standings
1. Nick Zurawski (9-7)
2. Cole Walters (11-5)
3. Andy Todd (8-8)
4. Nathaniel Hoefs (11-5)
5. Jaime Sparkes (8-8)
6. Alec Swanson (6-10)
7. Brett Weinfurter (6-10)
8. Gabe Stoltz (5-11)

Despite finishing with the same record as Lord Pretty Flacco Joey, Jaime's Dad Weights and Protein Shakes found themselves as winners of the consolation bracket (hiphip...eh?), carried by the breakthrough season of Dallas WR CompactDisk Lamb. Brett knocked plenty of other teams down, only for each one of them to get back up again except for the Wumbiest of Chumbas, Gabe Stoltz. Gabe now must resign to his fate as I believe the first ever back-to-back Sacko victim. The punishment? Wearing that title every year until we think of something better or kick him out of the league for his own good. Poor guy is still rooting for that James Robinson comeback (aren't we all?). With the extra week to fiddle with my lineup and barely try in the Scott Doesn't Care Bowl, I decided to make a couple tune-ups before the offseason... 

I'm sorry, I thought this was a keeper league?

Besides, we can't let Nick Zurawski go back-to-back with five All-Bros on his team. Good luck to every other WRBL owner on avoiding T.J. Hockenson-like injuries to their favorite fantasy players these final two weeks of the NFL season and may the Dolphins fly high enough to disrupt a few Ravens en route to the AFC's #1 seed this weekend. After all, Z has earned it.

I am being informed that my genuine hopefulness toward the Miami Dolphins could be mistaken as a reverse jinx. Nicholas will explain to me that our friendship is temporarily mildly harmed, yet it will recover.

Week Sixteen Final Scores
CHAMPIONSHIP: #4 Nick Zurawski defeated #3 Cole Walters 128.04-71.88
Scott Doesn't Care Bowl: #2 Andy Todd defeated #1 Nathaniel Hoefs 176-114.22
The Un-sponsored Bowl: #5 Jaime Sparkes defeated #6 Alec Swanson 149.1-127.72
Sacko Bowl: #8 Gabe Stoltz loses to #7 Brett Weinfurter 103.8-107.98

Heroes of the Week: WR Puka Nacua (Nick, 33), WR Amon-Ra St. Brown (Andy, 28.6), WR Mike Evans (Andy, 27.6)

Waiver Wonders: WR George Pickens (35.5), WR D.J. Chark (27.8), QB Derek Carr (24.96)

Benchwarmers of the Week: WR Amari Cooper (Alec, 51.5), RB Breece Hall (Andy, 43.1), WR Tee Higgins (Andy, 25)

@NFLonPrime on x.
Hero of the Week: WR Puka Nacua (I Had COVID-19)

Upcoming Week 17 Schedule for the NFL (in CST)
Thursday @ 7:15 PM: NY Jets @ Cleveland
SATURDAY @ 7:15 PM: Detroit @ Dallas
Sunday @ NOON: Miami @ Baltimore
New Orleans @ Tampa Bay
Las Vegas @ Indianapolis
Atlanta @ Chicago
Arizona @ Philadelphia
Tennessee @ Houston
LA Rams @ NY Giants
Carolina @ Jacksonville
San Francisco @ Washington
New England @ Buffalo
Sunday @ 3:05 PM: Pittsburgh @ Seattle
Sunday @ 3:25 PM: Cincinnati @ Kansas City
LA Chargers @ Denver
Sunday @ 7:20 PM: Green Bay @ Minnesota

The Following Week 18 Schedule for the NFL (TIMES TBD After Week 17)
Sunday: Buffalo @ Miami
Cleveland @ Cincinnati
Pittsburgh @ Baltimore
Atlanta @ New Orleans
Minnesota @ Detroit
LA Rams @ San Francisco
Houston @ Indianapolis
Chicago @ Green Bay
Tampa Bay @ Carolina
Denver @ Las Vegas
Jacksonville @ Tennessee
Philadelphia @ NY Giants
Kansas City @ LA Chargers
Seattle @ Arizona
Dallas @ Washington
NY Jets @ New England (The only game currently with no playoff implications whatsoever)

Scoring Leaders

QB
Josh Allen 348.42 (Cole)
Jalen Hurts 328.16 (Nick)
Lamar Jackson 294.88 (Brett)
Patrick Mahomes 254.62 (Sparky)
Justin Herbert 234.22 (Alec)
Trevor Lawrence 154.72 (Andy)
Justin Fields 153.94 (Hoefs/Andy)
Dak Prescott 145.84 (Hoefs)
Kirk Cousins 104.72 (Gabe)
Joe Burrow 69.5 (Gabe)
C.J. Stroud 61.44 (Alec/Hoefs)
Sam Howell 60.66 (Nick/Gabe)
Jake Browning 56.06 (Gabe)
Brock Purdy 42.24 (Andy/Cole)
Matthew Stafford 39.24 (Alec)
Kyler Murray 21.66 (Andy)
Baker Mayfield 18.32 (Sparky)
Geno Smith 16.44 (Hoefs/Andy)
Russell Wilson 15.84 (Brett)
Jordan Love 8.92 (Sparky)

RB
Christian McCaffrey 378.2 (Alec)
Travis Etienne 225 (Cole)
Joe Mixon 223.6 (Nick)
Rachaad White 212.2 (Andy)
Bijan Robinson 208.6 (Andy)
Alvin Kamara 204.7 (Hoefs)
Jahmyr Gibbs 200.2 (Sparky)
Saquon Barkley 190.7 (Gabe)
Tony Pollard 185.3 (Cole)
Josh Jacobs 181.1 (Brett)
Isiah Pacheco 175 (Gabe)
Austin Ekeler 169.5 (Gabe)
Kyren Williams 141.1 (Alec)
Breece Hall 140.3 (Andy)
Raheem Mostert 115.4 (Hoefs)
Kenneth Walker 115.1 (Cole)
David Montgomery 107.2 (Brett)
Rhamondre Stevenson 103.6 (Brett)
Aaron Jones 101.8 (Sparky)
Jonathan Taylor 99.9 (Nick)
James Cook 89.9 (Hoefs)
D'Andre Swift 81.7 (Alec)
Derrick Henry 81.38 (Hoefs)
De'Von Achane 69.6 (Nick)
Alexander Mattison 68.3 (Nick)
D'Onta Foreman 63.1 (Brett)
James Conner 47.4 (Gabe)
Javonte Williams 46.9 (Cole)
Zack Moss 45 (Sparky/Hoefs)
A.J. Dillon 41.2 (Sparky)
Jaylen Warren 36.4 (Gabe)
Ezekiel Elliott 30.6 (Nick)
Najee Harris 29.2 (Alec)
Jerome Ford 26.9 (Andy)
Zach Charbonnet 26.7 (Cole)
Miles Sanders 23.4 (Nick)
Nick Chubb 23.1 (Nick)
Devin Singletary 19.8 (Nick)
Gus Edwards 17.2 (Alec)
Chuba Hubbard 10.7 (Cole)
Ty Chandler 7.7 (Brett)
Dameon Pierce 6.7 (Hoefs)
Dalvin Cook 4.7 (Sparky)

WR
Tyreek Hill 331.6 (Hoefs)
CeeDee Lamb 327.5 (Sparky)
Amon-Ra St. Brown 281.4 (Andy)
A.J. Brown 280.4 (Hoefs)
Keenan Allen 278.86 (Nick)
Mike Evans 260.3 (Andy)
Stefon Diggs 251 (Cole)
DeVonta Smith 221.6 (Gabe)
Jaylen Waddle 198.6 (Cole)
Ja'Marr Chase 193.02 (Brett)
DeAndre Hopkins 191.8 (Sparky)
Michael Pittman Jr. 188.8 (Brett)
Deebo Samuel 182.3 (Brett)
DK Metcalf 179.2 (Alec)
Puka Nacua 164.4 (Nick)
Brandon Aiyuk 158.9 (Alec)
Justin Jefferson 155.3 (Sparky)
Chris Godwin 132.9 (Gabe)
Davante Adams 126.3 (Alec)
Cooper Kupp 126.2 (Nick)
Calvin Ridley 115.4 (Andy)
Chris Olave 113.8 (Hoefs)
D.J. Moore 92.7 (Alec)
Zay Flowers 84 (Gabe)
Tyler Lockett 82.7 (Nick)
Adam Thielen 78.4 (Hoefs)
Terry McLaurin 70.1 (Alec)
Garrett Wilson 64.8 (Brett)
Christian Kirk 37 (Cole)
Rashee Rice 35.8 (Hoefs)
Jaxon Smith-Njigba 34.4 (Sparky)
Amari Cooper 33.9 (Gabe)
K.J. Osborn 31.3 (Brett)
Courtland Sutton 27.8 (Cole)
Marquise Brown 27.2 (Andy)
Tee Higgins 23.1 (Cole/Andy)
Jordan Addison 18.4 (Andy)
Christian Watson 16.7 (Sparky)
Diontae Johnson 13.3 (Sparky)
Nico Collins 6.9 (Cole)
Kadarius Toney 2.3 (Sparky)

TE
T.J. Hockenson 219 (Alec)
Travis Kelce 214.8 (Nick)
Sam LaPorta 182.2 (Cole)
David Njoku 150.3 (Brett)
George Kittle 136.2 (Sparky)
Mark Andrews 135.4 (Andy)
Evan Engram 132.3 (Hoefs)
Dallas Goedert 91 (Gabe)
Dalton Kincaid 76.2 (Sparky)
Darren Waller 55.3 (Brett)
Dalton Schultz 49.3 (Hoefs)
Isaiah Likely 45.9 (Andy)
Jake Ferguson 42.8 (Cole/Hoefs)
Cole Kmet 25.9 (Gabe)
Pat Freiermuth 24.6 (Cole/Gabe)
Trey McBride 21.1 (Nick)
Kyle Pitts 19.7 (Andy)
Taysom Hill 15.4 (Alec)
Tyler Higbee 7.9 (Nick)
Luke Musgrave 4.5 (Cole)
Zach Ertz 4.2 (Cole)

K
Justin Tucker 143 (Sparky)
Jake Elliott 142 (Hoefs)
Tyler Bass 101 (Cole/Nick)
Younghoe Koo 100 (Andy)
Harrison Butker 84 (Alec)
Daniel Carlson 83 (Gabe)
Jason Myers 79 (Nick)
Evan McPherson 74 (Nick/Alec)
Riley Patterson 67 (Brett)
Brandon Aubrey 57 (Hoefs/Gabe)
Jake Moody 21 (Andy/Cole)
Matt Gay 16 (Brett)
Greg Zuerlein 11 (Brett)
Cairo Santos 10 (Alec)
Brandon McManus 9 (Alec)
Anders Carlson 8 (Cole)
Cameron Dicker 6 (Sparky)
Nick Folk 5 (Brett)
Wil Lutz 5 (Cole)
Matt Ammendola 2 (Andy)

DF
Dallas Cowboys 138 (Nick)
Pittsburgh Steelers 121 (Hoefs)
Miami Dolphins 110 (Alec)
Buffalo Bills 106 (Brett/Nick)
San Francisco 49ers 102 (Sparky)
New York Jets 86 (Gabe)
Cleveland Browns 48 (Cole/Andy)
Philadelphia Eagles 47 (Andy)
Atlanta Falcons 46 (Nick/Brett)
Denver Broncos 44 (Cole)
Las Vegas Raiders 40 (Gabe)
Baltimore Ravens 25 (Hoefs/Cole)
New Orleans Saints 25 (Andy/Cole)
Los Angeles Chargers 24 (Alec)
Minnesota Vikings 20 (Cole)
New England Patriots 20 (Cole/Sparky)
Jacksonville Jaguars 19 (Cole)
Seattle Seahawks 16 (Andy)
Washington Commanders 15 (Nick/Gabe)
Houston Texans 8 (Alec)
Chicago Bears 6 (Alec)
Detroit Lions 6 (Cole)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 6 (Cole)
Green Bay Packers 5 (Alec/Cole)
Los Angeles Rams 5 (Nick)
Kansas City Chiefs 4 (Andy)

Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose, no divisions)
Live.Laugh.Olave. 11-5
I Had COVID-19 11-5
Tax Paying Homeowner 11-5
Colieveland 96ers 11-5
Lord Pretty Flacco Joey 6-10
Dad Weights And Protein Shakes 6-10
Jordan Addison's Dog 5-11
Stoltzya's Electric Orcas 3-13

Andy Todd's Top Albums of 2023

I don't have the slightest clue how I managed to drop a Top 100 Albums of the 2010's around the same time as my typical year-end song and album countdowns back in 2019. I was fully employed so, where did I find the time? where did I find the attention span? Well, in hopes of rediscovering that ambition, I'm going to take a few months off from my weekly intake of new music and in the meantime, I will attempt to start a separate side-project. If all else fails, I'll keep bookmarking the latest in music and still come back to you at the end of 2024 with the typical year-end song and album countdowns hopefully. In the meantime, the show must go on no matter how much of a slog it can be some weeks. 

Here are some honorable B/B+ level mentions that I feel the need to address or shout out...

Honorable Mentions
Black Country, New Roads - Live At Bush Hall
Geese - 3D Country
Lana Del Rey - Did You Know That There's A Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd
The Lemon Twigs - Everything Harmony
Mitski - The Land Is Inhospitable And So Are We
Navy Blue - Ways Of Knowing
Tanukichan - Gizmo
Yaeji - With A Hammer
Yeule - Softscars

My Top 10 EPs of 2023
1. Beach House - Overcome
2. Bl4ck M4rket C4rt - Today I Laid Down
3. Hemlocke Springs - Going... Going... Gone!
4. Kurt Vile - Back To Moon Beach
5. Nia Archives - Sunrise Bang Ur Head Against Tha Wall
6. Alice Longyu Gao - Let's Hope Heteros Fail, Learn, and Retire
7. Toro y Moi - Sandhills
8. Zach Bryan - Boys Of Faith
9. Drake - Scary Hours 3
10. Rosalia & Rauw Alejandro - RR

Hey! I actually made the effort to get a few more EPs listened to than last year instead of just pretending EPs are albums or simply don't exist! That's called progress, folks. Here's the countdown everyone's been waiting for...


#50. Squirrel Flower - Tomorrow's Fine


Standout Track: "Alley Light"
A Chicago-based indie rocker with Sheryl Crow-like sensibilities, the 27-year old Ella Williams' third major release flew under the radar in the year's back-half.

#49. The Arcs - Electrophonic Chronic


Standout Track: "Love Doesn't Live Here Anymore"
Dan Auerbach's production seems to come in and out of style every few years and with one of his many non-Black Keys bands, The Arcs, it shines brightest.

#48. Sufjan Stevens - Javelin


Standout Track: "So You Are Tired"
An expected emotional listen turned even more devastating with later context.

#47. Sign Crushes Motorist - Hurting


Standout Track: "Wedding Night"
The youngest and perhaps most unrefined musician on this list, the Irish Liam McCay really let the intense loneliness of some of his formative years become a motivating factor to push out one of the more dark, intimate and muffled slowcore projects of the year.  I'd describe this album as being depressed Daniel Johnston-type music.

#46. Peter McPoland - Piggy


Standout Track: "Dog"
I have no idea why the lyrics of this thing reminded me of early-ninety's Kurt Cobain throwaways but Peter McPoland has manifested something in his debut album. Time will tell if it's more a result of past inspirations or a stepping stone for the future of upstart rock projects.

#45. Mahalia - IRL


Standout Track: "Hey Stranger"
There's a throwback R&B feel to some of these tracks that is truly refreshing ("Cheat" ft. JoJo) and the more modern tracks have me wishing I was paying attention sooner to the UK singer's 2019 debut.

#44. McKinley Dixon - Beloved! Paradise! Jazz!?


Standout Track: "Run, Run, Run"
Inspired by the works of poet Toni Morrison, there's no specific sound on this album that Dixon won't rap over and make it sound natural. 

#43. Anohni and The Johnsons - My Back Was A Bridge For You To Cross


Standout Track: "Scapegoat"
Whatever the music industry is doing that's keeping Anohni a relative unknown in the US, "It Must Change". That voice is unlike any other and getting live band instrumentation for her first album with The Johnsons in thirteen years was the juice needed for a seamless comeback.

#42. Corinne Bailey Rae -
Black Rainbows


Standout Track: "Red Horse"
Corinne Bailey Rae can take as long as she needs between albums. This part rock, part alternative R&B album shows that she is going to be around for a very long time.

#41. Carly Rae Jepsen - The Loveliest Time


Standout Track: "Come Over"
The superior companion album to 2022's The Loneliest Time.

#40. Frost Children - Hearth Room


Standout Track: "Bob Dylan"
The superior of the two Frost Children records to drop in 2023, even though "Flatline" is still their best song.

#39. Puma Blue -
Holy Waters


Standout Track: "Hounds"
Possibly the last "new" CD I'll ever buy considering they stopped making vehicles with CD players in them but, a neat little find at whatever record store I was at that day.

#38. Wednesday -
Rat Saw God


Standout Track: "Bull Believer"
The most critically hyped album coming into 2023, Rat Saw God delivered on the hype with two songs on my Top 40 Songs of 2023 list and some of the most attention-grabbing lyrics of the year.

#37. Death's Dynamic Shroud - After Angel


Standout Track: "Wish House"
Even I'm having trouble keeping track of all of Death's Dynamic Shroud's releases but every time a new project gets on my radar, I enjoy what I hear even though I don't fully comprehend what it is.

#36. Sweeping Promises - Good Living Is Coming For You


Standout Track: "Walk In Place"
There's a fantastic balance to the lo-fi mixing on Good Living Is Coming For You that make Sweeping Promises one of the most exciting rock bands to break through in 2023.

#35. Holly Humberstone - Paint My Bedroom Black


Standout Track: "Antichrist"
The 24-year old's debut album was something I'd had my eyes on since her 2020 EP, Falling Asleep At The Wheel. Definitely inspired by past Lorde works, Holly Humberstone deserves more airplay for something so naturally in the same vain as Olivia Rodrigo.

#34. James Blake - Playing Robots Into Heaven


Standout Track: "Loading"
James Blake got back in his electronic producer bag for his sixth album just to prove that he's still one of modern music's finest musical minds.

#33. Duster - Remote Echoes


Standout Track: "The Weed Supreme"
Fourteen tracks in 27 minutes, it's clear why this is TikTok's slowcore band even though they've been on-and-off as a band for 25+ years.

#32. Daughter - Stereo Mind Game


Standout Track: "Junkmail"
Sometimes critics are too caught up in what's next or what's new to recognize the artists/bands of the past that they've hyped up are filling in the gaps that may have made them more easily dismissed. "Youth" was only the first spark of what has become a high quality band that delivers beautiful, ethereal alternative rock every five years now.

#31. Olivia Rodrigo - Guts


Standout Track: "Get Him Back!"
The ballads are improving but, Rodrigo's hitmaking still reigns supreme on her sophomore effort. There's a reason this is on everyone and their mother's year-end lists.

#30. Doja Cat - Scarlet


Standout Track: "Can't Wait"
Less interested in creating the next big pop hit, Doja Cat landed one anyway in "Paint The Town Red". Scarlet is mostly flexing but it's also the first time where I've heard something more personal come from Doja's bars and that resulted in her most interesting album to date.

#29. The Japanese House - In The End It Always Does


Standout Track: "Boyhood"
Spending so much time around The 1975 had The Japanese House releasing the best new The 1975 album of 2023.

#28. Jess Williamson - Time Ain't Accidental


Standout Track: "Tobacco Two Step"
Between 2020's Sorceress and this year's Time Ain't Accidental, Williamson seemingly rejuvenated her sound by adding some country twang on 2022's collaborative project with Waxahatchee called I Walked With You A Ways. I wasn't expecting a solo album of hers to top Sorceress for me but, her fifth solo project has cleared that barrier and turned her into one of my favorite musicians out of nowhere.

#27. Teezo Touchdown - How Do You Sleep At Night?


Standout Track: "Mood Swings"
The build-up to Teezo's debut album had me not knowing what the hell to expect other than maybe a big-name feature here and there based on his collaborations with Tyler, The Creator and Travis Scott. Instead, How Do You Sleep At Night? sees Teezo working alone on every track, creating the most endearingly weird listen of 2023. It's laughable how pristine the production is on this thing with no edges whatsoever while Teezo delivers some of the funnier, genuinely heartwarming songs that would fit in well on a Good Burger 3 soundtrack.

#26. Lonnie Holley - Oh Me Oh My


Standout Track: "I Can't Hush (ft. Jeff Parker)"
When I first checked out Lonnie Holley's music in the wake of Bon Iver's 2016 masterpiece 22, A Million, I had no idea the Alabama-born artist would ever release anything that would resonate as widely as Oh Me Oh My has. Seeing features from Sharon Van Etten, Moor Mother and Michael Stipe of R.E.M. was a bit of a shock initially as well but trust me on this one, they all fit.

#25. Yves Tumor - Praise A Lord Who Chews But Which Does Not Consume (or Simply Hot Between Worlds)


Standout Track: "Ebony Eye"
The Prince comparisons are a bit tired but shit, they've never been more accurate. 

#24. Róisín Murphy & DJ Koze - Hit Parade


Standout Track: "Two Ways"
DJ Koze made a stellar 2010s experimental pop album here (it sounds like a more focused version of the stuff Flume was doing last decade) that Murphy did everything to tame the critical excitement around. 

#23. Kara Jackson - Why Does The Earth Give Us People To Love?


Standout Track: "Dickhead Blues"
Jackson's past as a US National Youth Poet Laureate is showcased on her debut album. Though there's plenty of flirtation between blues and country, this is 100% a folk album and one of the most exciting debuts in the genre in years. "Rat" holds my attention for all eight minutes every time, "Dickhead Blues" is a masterpiece in songwriting that showcases her versatility as it crescendos into something that sounds straight out of a musical. The potential here is endless.

#22. Spellling - Spellling & The Mystery School


Standout Track: "Phantom Farewell"
The follow-up to 2021's breakthrough album The Turning Wheel, Spellling is still as progressive of a pop artist as all the comparisons made a couple years ago. The Mystery School doesn't quite match the heights of it's predecessor but, makes up for it with a consistently captivating tracklist.

#21. Blondshell - Blondshell


Standout Track: "Sepsis"
Sabrina Teitelbaum's eponymous debut LP may have only been just over a half hour and nine songs long but, it reassured me that we're still churning out Snail Mail type female singer/songwriters in rock music that make just-different enough bangers to make up for the hole that has been left unfilled in a year where the Boygeniuses teamed up and Courtney Barnett was absent.

#20. Jessie Ware - That! Feels Good!


Standout Track: "Shake That Bottle"
The one person able to keep the disco revivalism fad alive, Jessie Ware's fifth album takes the genre for another spin as she works on the more sophisticated sounds of 2020's What's Your Pleasure and makes an even more fun, polished and poppy album in That! Feels Good!.

#19. JPEGMAFIA & Danny Brown - Scaring The Hoes


Standout Track: "Kingdom Hearts Key (ft. Redveil)"
The most terminally online rappers of them all come together to make a truly inspired experimental hip-hop project that has one flaw keeping it from my top ten... somebody needed to turn up Danny's mic in the mix. Otherwise, this is a goldmine that has only grown with each passing moment.

#18. Paramore - This Is Why


Standout Track: "Liar"
After a six-year hiatus, the best pop-punk band of the 21st century dropped another instant classic that ranks right up there in their discography alongside 2013's self-titled, 2009's Brand New Eyes and 2007's Riot! The band still conjures up the perfect sound for the emotional moments and has gotten even better at crafting pop songs as well.

#17. Lil Yachty - Let's Start Here


Standout Track: "The Black Seminole."
The biggest career script-flipping of 2023. I always thought Lil Yachty would be a bigger player in the rap game than he has been the past eight years. Little did any of us know that it would take hooking up with some of the most influential producers in alternative rock and releasing his own The Wall for Yachty to reinvigorate his fandom. His loose rap singles since this album have all sounded more high quality too. Taking the wok to Poland was a good warm-up exercise because now Yachty is sprinting.

#16. Bully - Lucky For You


Standout Track: "A Love Profound"
Crunchy guitars and a jagged vocal fry have always been a selling point in listening to Bully records. Never before has Alicia Bognanno sounded this radio-friendly though and the whole album just flows together so perfectly that it always seems to end too soon.

#15. Hannah Jadagu - Aperture


Standout Track: "What You Did"
One of many newer artists to come out of the bedroom pop scene, Jadagu uses her guitar to express her own coming-of-age story on her debut album, Aperture. If she would have come along five years sooner, she could have slotted in alongside the Boygenius crew seamlessly.

#14. Kelela - Raven


Standout Track: "Enough For Love"
Finally back after nearly six years in the dark, Kelela emerged with a perfect nighttime driving record that sounds like Janet Jackson's later nineties work with a modern flourish.

#13. Sampha - Lahai


Standout Track: "Jonathan L Seagull"
After "No One Knows Me (Like The Piano", it's great to just hear Sampha have some more fun as the years working with SBTRKT and other electronic acts have clearly helped him find his preferred sound moving forward. He can also take as long as he wants in between albums.

#12. 100 gecs - 10,000 gecs


Standout Track: "Frog On The Floor"
It's such a delight to hear the most fresh act of 2019 and one of the many faces of a movement at the time (the emergence of the hyperpop scene) find their own lane away from their original sound while still delivering on all of the hype for their follow-up record.

#11. The New Pornographers - Continue As A Guest


Standout Track: "Pontius Pilate's Home Movies"
I went on a deep-dive with this band that resulted in "The New Pornographers" being on my Spotify Wrapped and me having to explain that "The New Pornographers" was a Canadian indie rock band to any of my followers that asked me to explain IRL. Truly scaring the hoes with this band name but I've been a fan for a few years now and this inspired me to dig back into their earliest work. Now, I can continue listening as a real fan... which I suppose is more than a guest.

#10. Jane Remover - Census Designated


Standout Track: "Census Designated"
Speaking of ditching the hyperpop sound for something more abstract, Jane Remover went all in on shoegaze of all genres. At just 20 years old, she has constantly fidgeted with her sound from more Porter Robinson-inspired electronics to the more melodic and poppier sound of 2021's Frailty. Now much like a reverse Skrillex, Jane is fully enveloped into a more accessible rock sound that has already inspired plenty of copycat artists on the come-up. I only see this project growing in influence with time.

#9. George Clanton - Ooh Rap I Ya


Standout Track: "I Been Young"
There's some nice background music for a few tracks off of Clanton's third studio album thanks to his fairly muted vocals but, the highlights on Ooh Rap I Ya are some of the highest highlights off any album in 2023. "I Been Young" I will sing the praises of until I die, "FUML (ft. Neggy Gemmy)" conjures up plenty of nostalgic feelings to those nights (and days) where you could have been a productive human being instead of the delinquent one so often chooses to be and the opener "Everything I Want" wastes no time fucking around as an introduction to a heavily synth-focused album. I still need to revisit his first two albums but, there's a scene in here that I feel like I missed out on.

#8. Jamila Woods - Water Made Us


Standout Track: "Tiny Garden (ft. Duendita)"
Former poets are thriving in music today thanks to the ever expanding world of musical production. My fandom of Jamila Woods goes back to her association with Chance The Rapper and the 2015 Donnie Trumpet & The Social Experiment album (my favorite at the time of that year). I always found something uplifting about her clean vocals but none of her solo stuff stuck with me until Water Made Us. I've become a vinyl guy and this was an immediate add to my collection with the earworm that is "Practice", the joyous peak that is "Tiny Garden" and the bits of spoken word poetry scattered throughout that never overstay their welcome.

#7. Travis Scott - Utopia


Standout Track: "Looove (ft. Kid Cudi)"
I understand how irritating and immature the chorus of "Looove" can be but what can I say? That works on me, like much of Utopia does despite the bad taste that Travis Scott has left in everyone's mouths post-Astroworld. With his mentor Ye deep in the woods of Crazytown and anything that man drops creating as much noise as a fallen MyPillow, it was really nice to hear the guy that collaborated with Kanye back in 2013 on Yeezus bring back some of that impulsivity (along with a rejected "I Am A God" beat) along with a rotating cast of stars on an imperfect yet fun as hell listen.

#6. Empty Country - Empty Country II


Standout Track: "Cool S"
I still can't put my finger on what Joseph D'Agostino's voice reminds me of but, there is some major rock band from the late seventies or eighties that has to have inspired his vocal delivery (Is it Robert Smith from The Cure?). The stream-of-conscious songwriting mixed with singer/songwriter instrumentation that just builds and builds and collapses at the perfect moment make for a transformative listen that reflects on things like Hurricane Andrew (in "FLA") and whoever the fuck Jeff is ("Erlking"). I had a lot of fun listening to this album at work one night and it's the fastest 54-minute album that doesn't stray too far from what you'd expect track-to-track. 

#5. Jungle - Volcano


Standout Track: "Candle Flame"
The soulful British duo simply does not miss on their fourth and finest album to date, Volcano. They experiment a bit more with featured artists, most notably the rappers Channel Tres, Bas and Erick the Architect plus they somehow make their funky sound even more dance-able with songs like "Don't Play" sounding like they came from a Best of... Dance Hits mix. This is the closest thing they've made to a The Avalanches project and with an accompanying music video for each and every song along with sensational track-to-track transitioning, this is an album one must experience as much as they listen to it.

#4. Caroline Polachek - Desire, I Want To Turn Into You


Standout Track: "Blood and Butter"
From the opening note (or scream, rather), this album captivates the listener and takes them on a journey into Caroline's reality, one that is far different from our own. Where we see her crawling along the subway, she's lost in the music being likely blasted through her headphones, picturing herself crawling across a shoreline of some sort on the beach. Where we think we hear a woman screeching out her highest notes just to show off for the hell of it, she hears a perfect 80's-inspired pop hit. Where we thought we've heard every conceivable instrument she could sneak on to a baroque pop record, she pulls in the bagpipe player or the children's choir or the flamenco guitars. Welcome To My Island is a masterclass in how to embrace pop music throughout an entire project while keeping the listener's attention from song to song. It's Caroline's world and we're just living in it.

#3. Boygenius - The Record


Standout Track: "True Blue"
Admittedly, there are one or two filler tracks in here but that's what moves this album that had four songs on my end-of-year Top 40 countdown out of the top two spots. That and it's not necessarily anything new for three artists who are now proven expert singer/songwriters. Otherwise, it's perfect and I love them. Give all the Grammys to these three and SZA, they've been through enough and they've earned it.

#2. Underscores - Wallsocket


Standout Track: "Johnny Johnny Johnny"
A conceptual album based on the fictional town of Wallsocket, Michigan, Wallsocket ventures the closest distance away from the "hyperpop" label and brings a fresh sound to things like alternative 90s hits (Here is where I mention how "You Don't Even Know Who I Am" sounds just like a Smashing Pumpkins song to me, only somehow creepier than anything Billy Corgan could concoct) and straight out of Ke$ha's ransacked closet, late-00s style bangers like "Old Money Bitch". This album is inspired with how much effort and thought April Harper Grey put into her second full-length project. I cannot imagine how long she's been experimenting in the music studio or how many balled-up papers she had thrown into her garbage can to get to this point. Fishmonger (Underscores debut album) never really hit for me but it also didn't have the surreal weirdness that is "Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh", the storytelling from a culprit's perspective that is "Cops and Robbers" or the Jane Remover feature like on "Uncanny Little Arms". This album is stacked full of wholly original ideas and I cannot wait to see what she pulls in the future.

The #1 Album of 2023

Ratboys - The Window


Standout Tracks: "The Window", "Black Earth, WI", "I Want You (Fall 2010)"
Admittedly, I am new to the Ratboys fandom and with their fifth album, The Window, I do believe I am here to stay. In this post-Alvvays, post-genre, post-country world, I'm so happy to have an album click for me the way Blue Rev (Alvvays' 2022 critically acclaimed album), Zach Bryan's self-titled from this year and even Lana Del Rey's massively sprawling Did You Know That There's a Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd. could not quite strike me this year. The massive guitar solo in "Black Earth, WI" (along with the song title) initially caught my eye and my #2 song of 2023 "The Window" tugs at the heart strings more than just about anything else that dropped all year so, of course the rest of the album is stellar too. In a fairly weak year for albums (with some of the best songs of the decade so far), this indie rock outfit with some country influence was a summation of all the other great projects that were acknowledged everywhere else (see: Wednesday, Indigo De Souza, Slow Pulp, etc.). Five albums in and this band has found their lane and bowled a 300. I can't wait to do a deep dive into their catalog next. 

Here is a playlist featuring songs from the Top 20 Albums of 2023