WRBL Fantasy Football Season Finale, Sneen's Machine

 Wisconsin Rapids Bro League

Week Sixteen

Our Sixth Official Season of blaming Cole Walters for the pacing of MLB free agency.

Week Sixteen Final Scores

#3 SNEEN DEFEATS #4 RYAN 154.3-137.22

#1 Darrin defeats #2 Andy 208.42-116.32

Two-Week Fifth Place-A-Thon: Cole defeats Hoefs 284.26-261.28

SANDWICH RESULTS: Scott 304.56, Alec 416.14, Nick 434.62

Heroes of the Week: RB Alvin Kamara (56.2 points), WR Davante Adams (43.2), WR Stefon Diggs (41.5)

Chris Graythen/Getty Images

Hero of the Week: RB Alvin Kamara (SIX rushing touchdowns, 155 rushing yards, 3 catches, 17 receiving yards)

Waiver Wonders: WR Michael Gallup (30.1 points), RB Samaje Perine (29.6), QB Andy Dalton (26.58)

Waiver Wonder: WR Michael Gallup

What-if of the Week: If the Jets lost to the Browns, they'd have sure-thing Trevor Lawrence to look forward to. Now, they face the uncertainty of Zach Wilson, Justin Fields and whoever else has their stock rise by April (Dear god, save Trey Lance).

Bro...

It is Friday morning, January 8th, 2021 as I am writing this. It may seem like it took me a while to motivate myself to write this but much like the actual current sitting president I was just waiting for some wacky loophole to interrupt the 75th declaration that YES, Tyler Sneen is in fact our new overlord following the wackiest, most unpredictable on a week-to-week basis, sixth season of the Wisconsin Rapids Bro League for fantasy football. I had to interrupt the natural daily doomscroll to remind myself that "oh yeah, there's work to be done!". I've got a half a pint of Mint Chocolate Cookie Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream in me and I'm listening to the new Bee Gees tribute album because it's too early into the new year for say... Drake to drop a steaming pile of garbage. This album is surprisingly country and ballad infused and I must say... I don't think anyone needed this at all, I don't care how good the new Bee Gees documentary ends up being. Oh well, it's keeping me focused and that's all I really wanted from it. Wait a minute, what is this post about?

Look at the Tanner Glaza Division strutting around like they own this league now.

Oh yeah, football.

Remember week 16 and how ridiculous the scheduling was? There was a Friday late-afternoon Christmas game that saw Alvin Kamara seal an easy and early W for Darrin in his battle for third place. There were three Saturday games for some reason that included some Fitzmagic (Remember when the Dolphins were still good?), the Cardinals falling flat on Amazon (did anybody actually see this?) and the Mike Evans 40.1-point performance that put Sneen in an early, unlikely recoverable hole behind Ryan. But that was only a quarter of the story for championship weekend this year...

Things aren't looking so good over at Scott Aschebrook Team Headquarters out east.

Sunday was still a majority of this particular week's scoring with some major late breaking news that could have derailed the championship all together. Thankfully, Jamison Crowder took Jarvis Landry's spot in Ryan's lineup (a shocking season-best 29.32 points in place of Landry's 0.0 due to contact tracing that knocked out the entire Browns' receiving staff that we're familiar with). This could have also proved dramatic for Sneen and the Machine with an undermanned Baker Mayfield originally sitting in his lineup but like the old Beatles song used to say... "I get by with a little help from my friends" as Cole Walters swooped in and controversially suggested a lineup change from Mayfield to Matt Ryan for Sneen. This was an 11.9 point swing in Sneen's favor and the merit of merely suggesting a lineup change for a different owner is something every fantasy football league could debate but quite frankly, why the hell would we entertain the idea of more rule changes when clearly everything went according to plan when the hypothetically 7-8 team ended up as the champion? That's just Ludacris.

Actually, this is Ludacris. He also starts Matt Ryan in fantasy because Atlanta.

After another massive Packer dominant performance on Sunday night, Darrin clinched a 200-point week! thanks to Davante Adams' 3 TD performance and Aaron Jones PLUS Corey Davis's donut combined for 12.8 as the final score for Ryan's The Golladay Inn sat firmly at 137.22, an above average score for WRBL 2020 purposes, our highest scoring season to date. 137.22 to 105.8 made things more dramatic leading into Monday night's Bills-Patriots affair, even more dramatic than it looked headed into the aforementioned Sunday nighter, which started off at 124.42 to 105.8 with two players remaining for each finals participant. The Bills defense? Bills Mafia was very proud in them holding the rival Patriots to just 9 points, all while keeping a steady 8-point fantasy showing that never saw them give up any malarkey nor supply the malarkey themselves (Shout out to Mike Mularkey, former Bills head coach). Still, Stefon Diggs needed to put up 24 points in order to give original owner Tyler Sneen his first WRBL championship and a year-long date with The Shelby. Despite coverage from CBs J.C. Jackson (9 INTs in 2020) and Jason McCourty (former Pro Bowler and well-respected vet), Stefon went StefOFF and Diggs dug a dagger through the heart of The Golladay Inn. 

Tune into the WRBL History Update later this year to find out if Sneen chooses this guy for MVP or if unlike Josh Allen, he went in a separate direction.

Otherwise, it was a pretty bland conclusion to our season. The thing that bothered me the most about these playoffs were (and I know I'm 100% biased in this but come week 16, all I wanted was drama) the NFL games taking place prior to Sunday, something that was totally avoidable via scheduling. From now on, the NFL should treat Week 16 (most fantasy leagues' championship weekend) like they did Week 17 the past few years... Every game on Sunday and maybe the most relevant game (Colts-Steelers or Saints-Vikings would have been amazing for fantasy purposes) Sunday night. Outside of our championship, Darrin got third, Cole beat Hoefs by keeping a steady lead over him this week after building on it during the first of their two-week showdown and Scott's team just refused to show up on the same level as Nick and Alec's suddenly flaming hot fantasy teams. I will now pay Scott $40 to shut the fuck up until 2022 and eat the sandwich (the date on which he consumes the sandwich being the only time he's permitted to speak). I also still owe like six years worth of fees but that's besides the point, get working on that team picture for the league champions Scott!

"Insert Tyler Here? No. Insert Tyler Herro!!!" - Nick probably.

Final 2020 WRBL Standings

1. Tyler Sneen (SNEEN MACHINE)

2. Ryan Dougherty (The Golladay Inn)

3. Darrin Aschebrook (Team ChowHounds)

4. Andy Todd (Christy Fichtner All-Stars)

5. Cole Walters (Colieveland 96ers)

6. Nathaniel Hoefs (Team Hoefs)

7. Nick Zurawski (Free Chiquita)

8. Alec Swanson (Tax Paying Homeowner)

9. Scott Aschebrook (Mr. Intens3brook)

First Team All-Bro

QB - Patrick Mahomes (Andy Todd)

RB - Alvin Kamara (Darrin Aschebrook)

RB - Dalvin Cook (Tyler Sneen)
WR - Davante Adams (Darrin Aschebrook)

WR - Tyreek Hill (Nathaniel Hoefs)

TE - Travis Kelce (Nathaniel Hoefs)

FLEX - Derrick Henry (Cole Walters)

K - Rodrigo Blankenship* (Andy Todd/Alec Swanson)
D/ST - Los Angeles Rams (Nathaniel Hoefs/Nick Zurawski/Darrin Aschebrook)

Second Team All-Bro

QB - Russell Wilson (Ryan Dougherty)

RB - Aaron Jones (Ryan Dougherty)

RB - James Robinson* (Andy Todd)

WR - Stefon Diggs (Tyler Sneen)

WR - DeAndre Hopkins (Cole Walters)

TE - Darren Waller (Ryan Dougherty)

FLEX - Calvin Ridley (Nick Zurawski)

K - Harrison Butker (Tyler Sneen)

D/ST - Pittsburgh Steelers (Nathaniel Hoefs)

* - rookie

2020 WRBL Scoring Leaders

NOTE: All scoring for the two teams on BYE for the first round of the playoffs are accounted for despite no impact on the league results.

QB

Patrick Mahomes 373.40 (Andy)

Russell Wilson 341.64 (Ryan)

DeShaun Watson 292.72 (Hoefs)

Lamar Jackson 287.42 (Nick)

Aaron Rodgers 272.40 (Scott)

Tom Brady 256.16 (Darrin)

Josh Allen 216.24 (Cole)

Kyler Murray 207.94 (Cole)

Matt Ryan 206.44 (Sneen)

Joe Burrow 106.52 (Alec)

Dak Prescott 95.84 (Scott)

Ryan Tannehill 69.84 (Alec)

Matthew Stafford 56.80 (Darrin)

Ben Roethlisberger 44.96 (Alec)

Taysom Hill 42.52/66.94 (Sneen)

Derek Carr 34.30 (Hoefs/Alec)

Justin Herbert 32.10 (Hoefs)

Carson Wentz 27.76 (Nick)

Jared Goff 25.74 (Andy/Sneen)

Ryan Fitzpatrick 19.28 (Nick)

Cam Newton 19.2 (Sneen)

Jalen Hurts 18.58 (Nick)

Gardner Minshew 18.12 (Ryan)

Mitchell Trubisky 13.28 (Alec)

Baker Mayfield 5.38 (Sneen)

RB

Alvin Kamara 377.8 (Darrin)

Dalvin Cook 337.8 (Sneen)

Derrick Henry 298.1 (Cole)

Aaron Jones 240.4 (Ryan)

James Robinson 219.4 (Andy)

Josh Jacobs 210.4 (Scott)

Nick Chubb 190.9 (Sneen)

David Montgomery 188.4 (Sneen)

Chris Carson 177.5 (Ryan)

Jonathan Taylor 168.1 (Alec)

Ezekiel Elliott 160.4 (Alec)

Miles Sanders 150.3 (Alec)

Melvin Gordon 144.6 (Darrin)

Todd Gurley 139.2 (Darrin)

James Conner 134.0 (Hoefs)

Clyde Edwards-Helaire 128.8 (Scott)

Austin Ekeler 126.3 (Andy)

Mike Davis 124.8 (Andy)

David Johnson 120.3 (Nick)

Ronald Jones 117.9 (Hoefs/Ryan)

Kenyan Drake 111.5 (Nick)

Myles Gaskin 108.4 (Cole)

Antonio Gibson 104.9 (Andy)

Kareem Hunt 98.4 (Nick)

Christian McCaffrey 90.3 (Scott)

J.D. McKissic 77.8 (Scott/Ryan/Hoefs)

D'Andre Swift 77.4 (Nick)

Giovani Bernard 64.9 (Ryan/Cole/Scott)

Jerick McKinnon 57.6 (Hoefs/Scott/Cole)

Joe Mixon 57.5 (Andy/Ryan)

Darrell Henderson 48.3 (Darrin)

Jeff Wilson Jr. 42.3 (Scott/Hoefs)

Wayne Gallman 41.9 (Scott)

Nyheim Hines 38.0 (Ryan)

Duke Johnson 36.8 (Hoefs)

Chase Edmonds 33.6 (Scott/Hoefs)

Tony Pollard 31.2 (Nick)

Adrian Peterson 30.3 (Darrin/Cole)

Raheem Mostert 29.8 (Nick)

Justin Jackson 27.7 (Nick)

Jamaal Williams 21.4 (Cole)

Leonard Fournette 20.6 (Sneen/Scott)

Le'Veon Bell 20.3 (Andy/Scott)

Boston Scott 17.3 (Cole)

Saquon Barkley 15.4 (Nick)

Kalen Ballage 14.1 (Scott)

Salvon Ahmed 12.4 (Nick)

DeeJay Dallas 11.9 (Alec)

James White 11.3 (Hoefs)

Malcolm Brown 10.6 (Cole)

Damien Harris 10.5 (Hoefs)

Joshua Kelley 10.3 (Sneen)

Jordan Howard 7.9 (Nick)

Phillip Lindsay 7.7 (Cole)

Cam Akers 7.2 (Scott)

DeAndre Washington 7.2 (Cole)

J.K. Dobbins 7.1 (Cole)

Devontae Booker 6.1 (Cole)

Alexander Mattison 4.0 (Sneen)

Tevin Coleman 2.0 (Ryan)

WR

Davante Adams 341.8 (Darrin)

Tyreek Hill 328.9 (Hoefs)

Stefon Diggs 284.7 (Sneen)

DeAndre Hopkins 281.0 (Cole)

Calvin Ridley 271.0 (Nick)

Keenan Allen 242.5 (Andy)

Mike Evans 233.8 (Ryan)

Allen Robinson 229.8 (Alec)

DK Metcalf 227.5 (Darrin)

Adam Thielen 222.8 (Darrin)

Tyler Lockett 202.5 (Alec)

Amari Cooper 196.1 (Scott)

Robert Woods 184.2 (Nick)

Robby Anderson 181.2 (Cole/Sneen)

A.J. Brown 169.9 (Andy)

Cooper Kupp 164.8 (Andy)

D.J. Moore 164.5 (Hoefs)

Will Fuller 154.3 (Nick)

Justin Jefferson 153.3 (Alec)

Julio Jones 146.1 (Sneen)

Chris Godwin 143.6 (Cole)

Terry McLaurin 132.5 (Alec)

Diontae Johnson 98.3 (Ryan/Andy)

Jamison Crowder 93.82 (Ryan)

Michael Thomas 83.9 (Ryan)

JuJu Smith-Schuster 82.4 (Sneen/Scott)

Brandin Cooks 81.1 (Hoefs)

DeVante Parker 79.8 (Cole)

Tyler Boyd 71.8 (Scott)

Brandon Aiyuk 68.0 (Scott)

Marvin Jones 67.9 (Hoefs/Nick/Hoefs)

Corey Davis 52.2 (Ryan)

Jarvis Landry 48.74 (Cole/Ryan)

Kenny Golladay 48.1 (Ryan)

Jerry Jeudy 46.8 (Ryan/Cole)

Odell Beckham Jr. 45.42 (Scott)

Chase Claypool 43.2 (Scott)

Darius Slayton 35.0 (Ryan)

Cole Beasley 34.8 (Cole)

Travis Fulgham 33.9 (Hoefs)

Tee Higgins 33.2 (Cole)

Sterling Shepard 27.6 (Nick/Hoefs)

Marquise Brown 25.8 (Alec)

Allen Lazard 25.7 (Cole)

CeeDee Lamb 25.0 (Scott)

Curtis Samuel 12.7 (Hoefs)

Keke Coutee 9.4 (Nick)

Tre'Quan Smith 9.4 (Ryan)

T.Y. Hilton 9.3 (Scott)

Antonio Brown 9.2 (Scott)

Christian Kirk 9.0 (Cole)

Nelson Agholor 8.9 (Cole)

Josh Reynolds 6.2 (Sneen)

A.J. Green 5.9 (Andy)

Julian Edelman 4.2 (Sneen)

Lynn Bowden Jr. 3.6 (Cole)

D.J. Chark 3.6 (Hoefs)

Emmanuel Sanders 2.8 (Sneen)

TE

Travis Kelce 312.76 (Hoefs)

Darren Waller 251.9 (Ryan)

Mark Andrews 150.6 (Darrin)

Jonnu Smith 124.8 (Andy)

Hunter Henry 118.7 (Sneen)

George Kittle 111.3 (Nick)

Hayden Hurst 96.1 (Alec)

Noah Fant 90.2 (Cole)

Robert Tonyan 84.8 (Scott)

Eric Ebron 68.8 (Ryan/Nick/Alec)

T.J. Hockenson 58.8 (Cole/Darrin)

Zach Ertz 47.6 (Scott/Andy)

Mike Gesicki 47.3 (Nick)

Tyler Higbee 36.4 (Nick)

Rob Gronkowski 35.6 (Hoefs/Nick)

Evan Engram 29.9 (Sneen)

Logan Thomas 25.9 (Cole)

Taysom Hill 24.42/66.94 (Scott)

Kyle Rudolph 13.8 (Cole)

Austin Hooper 8.4 (Nick)

Dallas Goedert 6.8 (Sneen)

Jimmy Graham 6.2 (Darrin)

Ross Dwelley 3.2 (Scott)

Greg Olsen 3.0 (Cole)

Blake Jarwin 2.2 (Andy)

Chris Herndon 2.1 (Andy)

K

Rodrigo Blankenship 139 (Andy/Alec)

Harrison Butker 129 (Sneen)

Wil Lutz 120 (Hoefs)

Justin Tucker 106 (Scott/Ryan)

Chris Boswell 93 (Nick/Alec)

Jason Sanders 80 (Nick/Darrin)

Mason Crosby 75 (Cole)

Greg Zuerlein 74 (Darrin)

Daniel Carlson 65 (Nick/Ryan)

Younghoe Koo 53 (Andy/Nick)

Matt Prater 46 (Alec/Sneen)

Tyler Bass 38 (Cole)

Joey Slye 35 (Ryan)

Jake Elliott 32 (Ryan)

Ryan Succop 23 (Scott)

Randy Bullock 20 (Cole/Scott)

Graham Gano 11 (Ryan)

Cody Parkey 10 (Andy)

Robbie Gould 7 (Nick)

Jason Myers 4 (Ryan)

Stephen Gostkowski 2 (Hoefs)

Ka'imi Fairbairn 1 (Cole)

Michael Badgley -2 (Alec)

DF

Los Angeles Rams 126 (Hoefs/Nick/Darrin)

Pittsburgh Steelers 108 (Hoefs)

Baltimore Ravens 107 (Alec/Andy)

Indianapolis Colts 98 (Andy/Ryan)

Chicago Bears 65 (Scott/Nick)

Washington Football Team 62 (Hoefs/Nick/Scott/Alec)

Buffalo Bills 55 (Darrin/Hoefs/Sneen)

Tampa Bay Buccaneers 55 (Andy/Ryan/Cole)

San Francisco 49ers 49 (Sneen/Nick)

Miami Dolphins 48 (Nick)

Cleveland Browns 45 (Nick/Sneen/Scott)

New Orleans Saints 39 (Ryan/Darrin/Alec/Cole/Scott)

Philadelphia Eagles 37 (Nick/Cole/Nick)

Arizona Cardinals 31 (Nick/Cole)

Los Angeles Chargers 29 (Cole/Scott/Andy/Alec)

Kansas City Chiefs 28 (Cole/Alec)

New England Patriots 22 (Ryan/Andy/Darrin)

Seattle Seahawks 22 (Alec)

Green Bay Packers 19 (Cole)

Dallas Cowboys 18 (Nick/Sneen)

Minnesota Vikings 14 (Scott/Alec)

New York Giants 12 (Andy)

New York Jets 8 (Nick)

Denver Broncos 6 (Cole)

Tennessee Titans 3 (Cole)

Atlanta Falcons 2 (Cole)

Carolina Panthers 1 (Cole)

Detroit Lions -1 (Sneen)

Houston Texans -8 (Cole)

Final Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose, 5th = BYE)

Team ChowHounds 11-5

The Golladay Inn 8-5

Free Chiquita 9-6

Colieveland 96ers 7-6

Team Hoefs 7-7

SNEEN MACHINE 7-8

Christy Fichtner All-Stars 6-9

Tax Paying Homeowner 5-9

Mr. Intens3brook 4-9