WRBL Week 3, 2018 Recap

Wisconsin Rapids Bro League

Week 3
Our 4th official season of blaming Cole Walters for mirages.


Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks)
Steven Nett Division

Team Easy Breesy (Ryan Dougherty) 3-0 W6
The Scottfather (Scott Aschebrook) 2-1 W1
Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 2-1 W1
Cole World (Cole Walters) 1-2 L2

Shooter McGavin Division
Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 2-1 W2
Perfectly Balanced (Nick Zurawski) 1-2 L1
Crazy Todd's Driveway Band (Andy Todd) 1-2 L1
SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 0-3 L3

Week Three Final Scores

SCOTT  128 COLE  123
ALEC  129 ANDY  117
DARRIN  133 SNEEN  86
RYAN  155 NICK  117

Heroes of the Week: QB Matt Ryan (Alec), QB Drew Brees (Ryan), RB Alvin Kamara (Darrin)

USA TODAY Sports
Hero of the Week: QB Matt Ryan (Tax Paying Homeowner)

Waiver Wonders: WR Calvin Ridley (39 points), WR Jordy Nelson (29), QB Josh Allen (26)

(Curtis Compton/AP)
Waiver Wonder: WR Calvin Ridley (7 catches, 146 yards, 3 Touchdowns)

Upcoming Week 4 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)

Scott vs. Darrin

Alec vs. Ryan

Andy vs. Nick

Sneen vs. Cole

Thursday: Minnesota @ LA Rams 7:20 PM

Sunday: Cincinnati @ Atlanta NOON

Tampa Bay @ Chicago NOON

Detroit @ Dallas NOON

Buffalo @ Green Bay NOON

Philadelphia @ Tennessee NOON

Houston @ Indianapolis NOON

Miami @ New England NOON

NY Jets @ Jacksonville NOON

Cleveland @ Oakland 3:05 PM

Seattle @ Arizona 3:05 PM

New Orleans @ NY Giants 3:25 PM

San Francisco @ LA Chargers 3:25 PM

Baltimore @ Pittsburgh 7:20 PM

Monday: Kansas City @ Denver 7:15 PM

Bye Weeks: Washington & Carolina

Bro...

After three weeks, there are still some shocking things that have held up and surprising results that are likely in no way indicative of the season going ahead. Shocking things that continue to fascinate us so far include Ryan Fitzpatrick (Woah ho ho Fitzmagic. You know. NEVER BELIEVE IT'S NOT SO!) tossing the pigskin for over 400 yards in three consecutive games, resulting in the possible benching of no-longer-suspended Jameis Winston. Another player making headlines on a weekly basis is Chiefs' QB Patrick Mahomes, who has set the NFL record for touchdowns (13) thrown through the first three weeks of the regular season. I guess waiting the longest to draft a quarterback in the WRBL wasn't the worst move, even if it's only gotten me one victory so far. Another fact of the early season that has surprised many is just how bad the Houston Texans are. At 0-3 and with no offensive line to speak of, it's been a rough road for DeShaun Watson so far and Bill O'Brien is a pretty safe bet for those first coach fired pools. There are also some teams struggling that seem like false red flags. For instance, Tom Brady has looked mediocre on account of his decimated receiving corps and the Patriots have looked even lesser as a team (1-2, tied for 2nd in the AFC East). Will Bill Belichick figure this team out and glue together a team for a playoff run? Of course he will but, that doesn't automatically silence the Miami Dolphins. The Cardinals are pretty terrible at 0-3 but, there just has to be better days ahead for 1st round fantasy RB David Johnson. Sure, it'll be difficult for the former star to top 100 yards rushing weekly when his team is always playing from behind. Still, there should be a whole lot more of David Johnson involved in the Cardinals' passing game with how much that team enjoys checking down for short passes despite a fast receiving group.

USA TODAY Sports
Better days are ahead for David Johnson, coming back from his 2017 wrist injury.

We are also three weeks into the WRBL season and again, it's too soon to make any proclamations based on this small a sample size of the 2018 season. The only thing I feel comfortable saying right now is that Tyler Sneen and his machine are rusty enough that his 0-3 start should be too much to overcome, especially after his lack of confidence in the team he drafted was evident on draft night. The waiver wire is an excellent source for missing puzzle pieces (RB hurt? Just find a Matt Breida or Phillip Lindsay) but, you can't count on free agency to help you find the entire box the puzzle comes pre-packaged in (Josh Gordon and Ryan Fitzpatrick might be flashy but, they're not to be trusted on a weekly basis going forward). On the opposite end, Ryan now sits at 3-0 and at this point, we should just ban him. Really though, why did we let him pair up Michael Thomas with Julio Jones AND Todd Gurley? The rest of the league needs at least one of those players injured for any shot at Ryan not getting at least a top-2 seed in the playoffs and you know your season is in a bleak spot if you're rooting for opposing injuries. Ryan's win over Nick should have been a close, exciting match but as Nick Zurawski was quoted this week, "He got me. That fucking Ryan boomed me. He's so good. He's so good. He's so good. He's so good.". The PTSD Z is going to suffer through going forward is already apparent. Team Easy Breesy rode their three best players and a 39-point explosion from QB Drew Brees to a 38-point win. Alec benefited even greater from that Saints-Falcons shootout as his QB Matt Ryan also dropped 39 in what was just a 12-point victory over Crazy Todd's Driveway Band. For comparison's sake, not even THE GOAT Ryan Tannehill and his 25 points would have been enough to beat me but, that Matt Ryan fucking boomed me. The beneficiary of Sneen's struggles this week was Darrin's Team ChowHounds (now 2-1). The eldest Aschebrook didn't need 133 points against the SNEEN MACHINE's 86 but, the madman did it anyways. Lastly in our most intense match of the week, The temperature of Cole's waters are heated after all his smack talk on Thursday night resulted in another win for the Aschebrook family, with Scott completing a 19-point comeback on Monday night thanks to Mike Evans' 25 points in a comeback attempt by Tampa Bay (they barely failed 27-30). We're still a bit away from separating the men from the Moons but, Ryan and Sneen have an empty column in the Won-Loss columns and for their fortunes to change, the rest of the league needs to change a bit as well.

Mark LoMoglio/AP
JuJu Smith-Schuster was Tyler's top scorer for the week with just 20 points.

Coming up on next week's WRBL Recap, Sneen vs. Cole in a meeting of the last two MoonBak Sacko losers, Andy vs. Nick in a loser-has-a-difficult-time-coming-back-to-town matchup, Scott vs. Darrin in the classic father-son matchup that only occurs (does the math) 2+ times a season for this specific duo and lastly, the two division leaders try to unseat each other from their respective thrones as 3-0 Team Easy Breesy takes on the 2-1 Tax Paying Homeowner himself, Alec Swanson. I guess a loss for either one will be a huge relief for three of us lesser (for the moment) owners. In the NFL, this Vikings-Rams game might be the best one in Thursday Night history. A Viking loss would put them at 1-2-1 with no ease ahead as they play the defending champion Eagles in week 5. On Sunday, Dolphins-Patriots is suddenly the biggest game of the NFL season because New England going 1-3? That would be HUGE. Unfortunately, nothing San Francisco does is huge anymore as now QB C.J. Beathard will have to take over for Jimmy Garoppolo, who tore his ACL last week. The Chargers should have a much easier time against the 49ers but, these are the LA Chargers we're talking about and inconsistency is their middle name ("injured reserve" is just a nickname). The weekend caps off with our first experience of Patrick Mahomes in primetime football. How will he hold up on the biggest stage of his career against a top-five pass rush? Hopefully well for my sake.

Scoring Leaders

QB

Patrick Mahomes 90 (Andy)

Drew Brees 87 (Ryan)

Matt Ryan 76 (Alec)

Cam Newton 73 (Nick)
Aaron Rodgers 58 (Darrin)

Tom Brady 44 (Sneen)

Russell Wilson 33 (Scott)

Ryan Fitzpatrick 24 (Cole)

Andrew Luck 11 (Cole)

DeShaun Watson 11 (Cole)

Carson Wentz 11 (Scott)

RB

Alvin Kamara 92 (Darrin)

Todd Gurley 78 (Ryan)

Melvin Gordon 72 (Alec)

Saquon Barkley 66 (Alec)

James Conner 65 (Cole)

Christian McCaffrey 61 (Scott)

Ezekiel Elliott 48 (Nick)

Isaiah Crowell 45 (Sneen)

James White 42 (Darrin)

Jordan Howard 40 (Ryan)

David Johnson 38 (Scott)

Kareem Hunt 34 (Andy)
Joe Mixon 34 (Andy)

Tevin Coleman 27 (Cole)

Kenyan Drake 26 (Nick)

Dalvin Cook 24 (Andy)

Giovani Bernard 19 (Nick)

Javorius Allen 16 (Darrin)

Matt Breida 14 (Andy)

Jamaal Williams 14 (Sneen)

LeSean McCoy 12 (Darrin)

Leonard Fournette 8 (Cole)

Adrian Peterson 8 (Ryan)

Devonta Freeman 7 (Sneen)
Dion Lewis 5 (Nick)
Chris Thompson 2 (Scott)

WR

Michael Thomas 90 (Ryan)

Mike Evans 74 (Scott)

Adam Thielen 71 (Cole)

Tyreek Hill 68 (Alec)

A.J. Green 58 (Cole)

Davante Adams 57 (Scott)

Antonio Brown 56 (Darrin)

Stefon Diggs 53 (Alec)

DeAndre Hopkins 52 (Nick)

Julio Jones 52 (Ryan)

JuJu Smith-Schuster 51 (Sneen)

Odell Beckham Jr. 50 (Andy)

T.Y. Hilton 46 (Andy)

Keenan Allen 41 (Nick)

Demaryius Thomas 35 (Darrin)

Jarvis Landry 28 (Scott)

Chris Hogan 27 (Sneen)

Golden Tate 20 (Ryan)

Larry Fitzgerald 19 (Cole)
Emmanuel Sanders 17 (Cole)

Brandin Cooks 13 (Nick)

Cooper Kupp 12 (Alec)
Keelan Cole 9 (Andy)
Allen Robinson 8 (Alec)
Nelson Agholor 6 (Ryan)

Amari Cooper 1 (Alec)

TE

Travis Kelce 49 (Nick)

Zach Ertz 41 (Sneen)

Rob Gronkowski 35 (Sneen)

Jordan Reed 33 (Scott)

Kyle Rudolph 29 (Ryan)

Jimmy Graham 26 (Darrin)

Evan Engram 24 (Andy)

Trey Burton 23 (Alec)

George Kittle 18 (Cole)

Delanie Walker 9 (Cole)

Greg Olsen 5 (Ryan)

K

Mason Crosby 31 (Sneen)

Justin Tucker 31 (Scott)

Wil Lutz 28 (Alec)

Harrison Butker 23 (Andy)
Stephen Gostkowski 21 (Nick)

Robbie Gould 21 (Darrin)

Matt Bryant 19 (Cole)

Greg Zuerlein 16 (Ryan)

Matt Prater 14 (Ryan)

Chris Boswell 2 (Darrin)

DF

Los Angeles Rams 39 (Scott)

Jacksonville Jaguars 25 (Alec)
Minnesota Vikings 25 (Cole)

Baltimore Ravens 23 (Darrin)
Philadelphia Eagles 19 (Ryan)
Chicago Bears 15 (Andy)

Houston Texans 13 (Sneen)

Cleveland Browns 11 (Nick)

Los Angeles Chargers 11 (Nick)

New England Patriots 7 (Nick)

New Orleans Saints -4 (Andy)

Hypothetical Standings

The Scottfather 3-0

Team Easy Breesy 2-1

Tax Paying Homeowner 2-1

Team ChowHounds 2-1

Cole World 1-2

Perfectly Balanced 1-2

Crazy Todd's Driveway Band 1-2

SNEEN MACHINE 0-3

WRBL Week 2, 2018 Recap

Wisconsin Rapids Bro League

Week 2
Our 4th official season of blaming Cole Walters for nosy neighbors.


Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks)
Steven Nett Division

Team Easy Breesy (Ryan Dougherty) 2-0 W5
The Scottfather (Scott Aschebrook) 1-1 L1
Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 1-1 L1
Cole World (Cole Walters) 1-1 L1

Shooter McGavin Division
Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 1-1 W1
Perfectly Balanced (Nick Zurawski) 1-1 W1
Crazy Todd's Driveway Band (Andy Todd) 1-1 W1
SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 0-2 L2

Week Two Final Scores

ANDY  132 COLE  123

RYAN  124 DARRIN  104

ALEC  172 SCOTT  126

NICK  149 SNEEN  124

Heroes of the Week: QB Patrick Mahomes (Andy), WR Stefon Diggs (Alec), RB Todd Gurley (Ryan)

AP Photo/Don Wright
Hero of the Week: QB Patrick Mahomes (Crazy Todd's Driveway Band)

Waiver Wonders: QB Ben Roethlisberger (38 points), QB Kirk Cousins (33), QB Blake Bortles (32)

Zeros of the Week: DF Baltimore Ravens (Darrin)

John Sommers II.UPI
Zero of the Week: DF Baltimore Ravens (Team ChowHounds)

Upcoming Week 15 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)
Ryan vs. Nick
Cole vs. Scott
Sneen vs. Darrin
Alec vs. Andy
Thursday: NY Jets @ Cleveland 7:20 PM
Sunday: New Orleans @ Atlanta NOON
San Francisco @ Kansas City NOON
Oakland @ Miami NOON
Buffalo @ Minnesota NOON
Indianapolis @ Philadelphia NOON
Green Bay @ Washington NOON
Cincinnati @ Carolina NOON
Tennessee @ Jacksonville NOON
Denver @ Baltimore NOON
NY Giants @ Houston NOON
LA Chargers @ LA Rams 3:05 PM
Chicago @ Arizona 3:25 PM
Dallas @ Seattle 3:25 PM
New England @ Detroit 7:20 PM
Monday: Pittsburgh @ Tampa Bay 7:15 PM

Bro...
Garbage time football is a lot like shopping at a thrift store or even Goodwill. You don't expect anything whatsoever but, a diamond in the rough shines through and changes your mood temporarily for the better. Not only did Evan Engram's seemingly inconsequential touchdown with 1:27 remaining in the Giants-Cowboys' game clock hold WRBL implications (It was enough for Andy to usurp a victory from Cole) but, that Russell Wilson touchdown pass to Will Dissly with 14 seconds remaining on Monday Night Football? Yep, that won me a league as well (My TD-only league, Todd's Tornadoes dropped 65 points on our opponent's 62, the most points ever scored in a loss IN 39 YEARS!). As if these instances weren't special enough for my vacation, I also went shopping at a couple of thrift stores and found a few really cool items (to me) for a grand total of $12. It turned around an otherwise uneventful day (much like those uneventful primetime games) that featured a bleak dentist trip into one to remember and attempt to emulate in the future. It would be foolish of me to not acknowledge the other side to this sudden shift in fortunes, as I'm sure somebody else out there was just waiting to find that $2 copy of The Bee Movie and will now have to continue their search elsewhere, much like how Cole will now have to wait to find a second win (which will surely come just as easily as it is to find The Bee Movie in any local thrift store for under $4 as it's only a matter of time, let's be real here). Cole's Sunday probably turned to immediate garbage as a result but hey, your comeback/upset/last second/garbage win is coming, bud and that's the fun of fantasy football.

AP/Nam Y. Huh
Khalil Mack continues to assist the Bears' defense in making elite quarterbacks work harder.

Even with Cole and Crazy Todd's Driveway Band being the only matchup with any last-minute heroics, there were still three other WRBL matches that contained many points, lineup mistakes and storylines. The soon-to-be father defeated The Scottfather after Alec's main players (QB,RB,WR) went OFF for a combined 140 points and would have single-handedly taken down Scott's squad despite a 14-catch performance out of Christian McCaffrey. BTW guys, here is a rule to consider for the future... Should we even be a PPR league? or should we fully evolved brain meme ourselves into a PPFD (Points Per First Down) league? Just throwing that one out there as three running backs caught 13 or more passes for far fewer first downs and having lesser importance on the actual games themselves compared to our fantasy game. Tyler Sneen surprisingly crapped the bed on keeping his match with Nick at all dramatic. Sneen's lowlights this week included Jamaal Williams and Isaiah Crowell combining for 14 points and typically brilliant tight end Rob Gronkowski being nearly silenced by Jacksonville's awesome defense to the tune of just three points. Starting Will Fuller (25 points) in his first game back from injury would not have won the matchup but, could have kept Nick on his toes headed into Sunday Night with only RB Ezekiel Elliott to save him. Lastly in our rivalry match of the week, Ryan continued his annoying reign over our league as the lone undefeated team after two weeks but signs of cracks in the foundation are showing as the youngster did not crack the top four in scoring and suffered a loss in the hypothetical standings (located at the bottom of this post). Todd Gurley was incredible again (shout out to my TD-only team once more) and Michael Thomas proves that sometimes your biases are not just biased and sometimes that team you root for really does have a special talent. Michael Thomas is on pace for 224 receptions and if that actually happens, Ryan might have to dust off the trophy for himself. 

Are you tired of football yet? If so, then this is not the game for you because weeks one and two have been pretty awesome. Week three is not guaranteed to keep the juices flowing but, Jets-Browns could see one longtime non-winning streak come to an end Thursday night if the Browns just let Greg Joseph tune out the pressure of kicking that clearly got to now-released Zane Gonzalez (or maybe that was his injury that caused Cleveland's latest demise?). Sunday's early slate sees the Bills attempting to avoid louder 0-16 whispers against the Vikings and their new kicker, Dan Bailey (Daniel Carlson, we hardly knew ye), the Eagles welcoming Carson Wentz (and Jordan Matthews?) back into the huddle against recently-revived Andrew Luck and the Colts and the highlight of New Orleans traveling to Atlanta in a game that will hopefully clear up that division a bit further. The Falcons are losing the war of attrition quickly (G Andy LeVitre, LB Deion Jones and S Keanu Neal are all on IR) and the Saints have given Jekyll and Hyde performances from one week to the next on both ends of the football. The late-afternoon games are 3/3 on entertainment and maybe 1/6 on good teams playing (the LA Rams are a lock right now barring injury). Sunday night is going to be the peak of fantasy football this season when Josh Gordon comes storming out of the gate against Detroit for a Randy Moss-like performance from here on out now that the Patriots somehow snagged him away from the Browns for a signed photograph of Joe Andruzzi. Maybe the Browns could have somehow thrown Jimmy Butler into the deal also. That would clear up programming for a lot of midwestern sports radio right now. After the week that Pittsburgh has had, I'm sure they're looking forward to just shutting up and playing football in the damp, Florida heat against Captain Redbeard himself, Ryan Fitzmagic and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers for the final game of Jameis "Crab Legs & Uber Drivers" Winston's suspension.

Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images
One last Hoorah! for Nick Foles, backup quarterback with a Super Bowl MVP.

In case you've forgotten the REAL task at hand here, the WRBL will also be in play this weekend as Nick Zurawski's evenly distributed Perfectly Balanced gets the next chance at blowing over Team Easy Breesy's winning streak. The only thing worse than kicking off a season to an 0-3 start is doing that and losing to the man that has found himself in the same position the past two seasons, Darrin Aschebrook and his Team ChowHounds. Granted, Darrin didn't just re-draft the same team as his past two dud seasons (Aaron Rodgers & Alvin Kamara still remain) but, his track record in the WRBL is not terrific. Alec may be paying taxes to own his home but, when's the last time he payed his driveway's taxes? Hmmm? Didn't think so. Don't fact check this. In a battle that could see one team alone at the top of the Shooter McGavin Division, my Crazy Todd's Driveway Band will try Mr. Swanson's dedication to his Bear fandom when my Bears defense (hopefully) gives his barely Bear lineup (shout out to Trey Burton!) the beating of a lifetime. Lastly, It's Cole's World and Scott is just playing for second in Cole's division. No one man should have all this power but, Cole's name is all over everything (even The Shelby!) and he's trotting out his own Ivy League graduate (shout out to Columbia!) in Harvard's own Ryan Fitzpatrick against a likely resilient duo of Russell Wilson and David Johnson for The Scottfather. Okay, one more question... Why is Scott The Scottfather? Wouldn't that make him his own father? I thought Darrin was Scott's father? Do we need to appear on an episode of Maury? They film in Chicago. Guys, this sounds like a road trip idea. Let's do it. But first, Points Per First Down. 

In the case of 281 month old Scott Aschebrook, Scott... You are NOT The ScottFather.

Scoring Leaders

QB

Patrick Mahomes 66 (Andy)

Drew Brees 48 (Ryan)

Cam Newton 44 (Nick)
Aaron Rodgers 39 (Darrin)

Tom Brady 37 (Sneen)

Matt Ryan 37 (Alec)

Russell Wilson 33 (Scott)

Andrew Luck 11 (Cole)

DeShaun Watson 11 (Cole)

RB

Alvin Kamara 59 (Darrin)

Melvin Gordon 56 (Alec)

Todd Gurley 54 (Ryan)

James Conner 51 (Cole)

Saquon Barkley 44 (Alec)

Christian McCaffrey 40 (Scott)

Ezekiel Elliott 34 (Nick)

Joe Mixon 34 (Andy)

James White 29 (Darrin)

Isaiah Crowell 27 (Sneen)

Dalvin Cook 24 (Andy)

Kenyan Drake 24 (Nick)

Jordan Howard 24 (Ryan)

David Johnson 22 (Scott)

Kareem Hunt 18 (Andy)

Tevin Coleman 15 (Cole)

LeSean McCoy 12 (Darrin)

Jamaal Williams 9 (Sneen)

Leonard Fournette 8 (Cole)

Adrian Peterson 8 (Ryan)

Devonta Freeman 7 (Sneen)
Dion Lewis 5 (Nick)

WR

Michael Thomas 68 (Ryan)

Tyreek Hill 61 (Alec)

Mike Evans 49 (Scott)

Stefon Diggs 48 (Alec)

A.J. Green 48 (Cole)

Adam Thielen 47 (Cole)

Davante Adams 39 (Scott)

Antonio Brown 39 (Darrin)

DeAndre Hopkins 38 (Nick)

Julio Jones 38 (Ryan)

Keenan Allen 36 (Nick)

T.Y. Hilton 36 (Andy)

Odell Beckham Jr. 31 (Andy)
JuJu Smith-Schuster 31 (Sneen)

Jarvis Landry 28 (Scott)

Demaryius Thomas 24 (Darrin)

Chris Hogan 21 (Sneen)

Golden Tate 20 (Ryan)

Larry Fitzgerald 19 (Cole)

Brandin Cooks 13 (Nick)

Cooper Kupp 12 (Alec)

Amari Cooper 1 (Alec)

TE

Travis Kelce 30 (Nick)

Zach Ertz 29 (Sneen)

Rob Gronkowski 26 (Sneen)

Jordan Reed 23 (Scott)
Evan Engram 22 (Andy)

Jimmy Graham 17 (Darrin)

Trey Burton 14 (Alec)
Kyle Rudolph 14 (Ryan)

Delanie Walker 9 (Cole)

Greg Olsen 5 (Ryan)
George Kittle 4 (Cole)

K

Mason Crosby 25 (Sneen)

Justin Tucker 19 (Scott)

Stephen Gostkowski 17 (Nick)

Matt Bryant 16 (Cole)

Greg Zuerlein 16 (Ryan)

Harrison Butker 15 (Andy)
Robbie Gould 14 (Darrin)

Wil Lutz 13 (Alec)

Chris Boswell 2 (Darrin)

DF

Los Angeles Rams 26 (Scott)

Minnesota Vikings 20 (Cole)

Jacksonville Jaguars 17 (Alec)
Baltimore Ravens 15 (Darrin)

Philadelphia Eagles 14 (Ryan)

Los Angeles Chargers 11 (Nick)

Houston Texans 10 (Sneen)

New England Patriots 7 (Nick)

New Orleans Saints -4 (Andy)

Hypothetical Standings

The Scottfather 2-0

Team Easy Breesy 1-1

Tax Paying Homeowner 1-1

Cole World 1-1

Perfectly Balanced 1-1

Team ChowHounds 1-1

Crazy Todd's Driveway Band 1-1
SNEEN MACHINE 0-2