WRBL Week 3, 2023

  Wisconsin Rapids Bro League

Our ninth official season of blaming Cole Walters for the Heat not landing Damian Lillard.

Bro... 

TOUCHDOWN MIAMI!... Oh, the game's over? Somebody tell De'Von Achane because the rookie Texas A&M back is probably still running, all the way to this week's game in Buffalo. If he tires himself out, then Mike McDaniel might just have to let Raheem Mostert shoulder the load for a fifth touchdown this weekend. Speaking of shouldering loads, despite scoring an incredible (so far this season) 165.14 points this week Keenan Allen found himself carrying Scott's Many Endeavors on his back/shoulders/body as a whole once again on the way to 2-1. Allen was way open for eighteen receptions as Nick Zurawski has former Dolphin head coach (and current Minnesota DC) Brian Flores to thank for consistently blitzing Justin Herbert to no avail, leaving the veteran Allen more open than the norm. Allen's route tree prowess gave the Chargers a slight advantage in a tight win over the Vikings and Nick a tight win in this season's hardest fought battle over 0-3 Alec. The Swanson caravan seems headed on an early collision course this season despite the THIRD most points in the Bro League so far. It's truly impressive how mediocre all of us are at this point with no teams undefeated and we're not even through September. The Bye weeks are going to have us salivating at the mere mentioning of points. Perhaps it's time we start a College Football Bro League? At least in that league, we'd be watching quadruple overtime games like last Saturday's battle between Indiana and Akron wondering if two-point conversions should count for six fantasy points thanks to the NCAA's terrible overtime rules. Maybe we'd even get good performances out of our quarterbacks... oh, is that just a Trevor Lawrence, Justin Fields or Joe Burrow problem? :( Okay then, nowhere to go but up I guess! 

On this week's installment of 2022 In Review, you'll see that I posted the master lists of Heroes, Waiver Wonders and Benchwarmers of every week from last season down below. Please note that I kept track of how many times each player had each honor bestowed upon them with eight repeat Waiver Wonders including future Hero of the Week and current questionable draft pick QB Justin Fields. Where is Chicago headed? If they and the 0-3 Panthers both lose to the 0-3 Broncos and 0-3 Vikings, Chicago will be projected to have the top two picks in the 2024 NFL Draft after Carolina traded them D.J. Moore and some picks for the Bryce Young pick to kick off the 2023 Draft. Has anyone learned anything? I have no idea but, the Bears are still WAY more than one Caleb Williams away from even a .500 season right now. In the interest of keeping this short, I'll just say that I miss Nick Chubb and Mike Williams already but if anyone would like to talk to me about Jerome Ford or Quentin Johnston while Marshon Lattimore erases Mike Evans as I dig for a flex this weekend? I'm all ears, baby! HEAT UP THE HOT STOVE! IT'S TRADE SEASON!!! 

Joshua Gunter/cleveland.com
Just look at that eye for the goal-line. Tell me you don't want to give up Christian McCaffrey for this touchdown machine.

Official WRBL Standings 

Steven Nett Division

LIVE.LAUGH.OLAVE. (Nathaniel Hoefs) 2-1 L1 (419.44)

Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 2-1 W1 (364.42)

Dad Weights and Protein Shakes (Jaime Sparkes AKA: Sparky) 2-1 W1 (358.72)

Stoltzya's Electric Orcas (Gabe Stoltz) 1-2 L1 (329.44)

Shooter McGavin Division

Lord Pretty Flacco Joey (Andy Todd) 2-1 L1 (367.54)

Scott's Many Endeavors (Nick Zurawski) 2-1 W2 (417.76)

Jordan Addison's Dog (Brett Weinfurter) 1-2 W1 (351.62)

Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 0-3 L3 (388.06)

Week Three Final Scores

NICK defeats ALEC 165.14-152.9

SPARKY defeats ANDY 113.08-99.66

COLE defeats HOEFS 153.42-135.46

BRETT defeats GABE 157.28-116.78

Heroes of the Week: WR Keenan Allen (45.46, Nick), WR Davante Adams (42.2, Alec), WR Tyreek Hill (30.7, Hoefs)

Waiver Wonders: RB De'Von Achane (51.3), WR Adam Thielen (31.5), WR Tank Dell (25.5)

Benchwarmers of the Week: RB Raheem Mostert (45.2, Hoefs), QB Tua Tagovailoa (28.36, Nick), WR Mike Williams (25.1, Brett)

John McCall/South Florida Sun Sentinel
Pictured above (L-R): Hero of the Week WR Tyreek Hill, Benchwarmer of the Week RB Raheem Mostert, OT Terron Armstead and Benchwarmer of the Week (and Week 3 Waiver Addition) QB Tua Tagovailoa

2022 Heroes of the Week
1 - WR Justin Jefferson, RB Saquon Barkley, QB Patrick Mahomes

2 - WR Stefon Diggs, QB Lamar Jackson, WR Tyreek Hill

3 - QB Lamar Jackson (X2), TE Mark Andrews, WR Marquise Brown

4 - TE T.J. Hockenson, RB Austin Ekeler, RB Josh Jacobs

5 - RB Austin Ekeler (X2), RB Leonard Fournette, QB Josh Allen

6 - QB Joe Burrow, WR Ja'Marr Chase, WR Stefon Diggs (X2)

7 - QB Joe Burrow (X2), RB Austin Ekeler (X3), RB Josh Jacobs (X2)

8 - RB Alvin Kamara, RB Christian McCaffrey, WR A.J. Brown

9 - RB Joe Mixon, WR Davante Adams, QB Patrick Mahomes (X2)

10 - QB Justin Fields, WR CeeDee Lamb, WR Justin Jefferson (X2)

11 - RB Tony Pollard, TE Travis Kelce, WR Davante Adams (X2)

12 - RB Josh Jacobs (X3), QB Josh Allen (X2), QB Jalen Hurts

13 - WR Davante Adams (X3), WR Amon'Ra St. Brown, QB Jalen Hurts (X2)

14 - QB Trevor Lawrence, WR Justin Jefferson (X3), QB Jalen Hurts (X3)

15 - QB Josh Allen (X3), QB Jalen Hurts (X4), QB Patrick Mahomes (X3)

16 - TE T.J. Hockenson (X2), WR CeeDee Lamb (X2), WR Justin Jefferson (X4)

2022 Waiver Wonders

1 - QB Carson Wentz, D/ST Pittsburgh Steelers, RB Dontrell Hilliard

2 - WR Garrett Wilson, QB Carson Wentz (X2), QB Joe Flacco

3 - RB Khalil Herbert, WR Mack Hollins, QB Trevor Lawrence

4 - QB Jared Goff, QB Geno Smith, TE Mo Alie-Cox

5 - TE Taysom Hill, WR Dyami Brown, WR Jakobi Meyers

6 - RB Deon Jackson, QB Matt Ryan, TE Mike Gesicki

7 - WR Tyler Boyd, QB Daniel Jones, WR Mecole Hardman

8 - RB D'onta Foreman, QB Justin Fields, TE Tyler Conklin

9 - QB Justin Fields (X2), RB Kenyan Drake, TE Cole Kmet

10 - WR Christian Watson, WR Nick Westbrook-Ikhine, TE Cole Kmet (X2)

11 - RB Samaje Perine, QB Jacoby Brissett, QB Jimmy Garoppolo

12 - WR Zay Jones, WR Garrett Wilson (X2), QB Mike White

13 - QB Jared Goff (X2), RB Samaje Perine (X2), RB Cam Akers

14 - TE Evan Engram, RB Jerick McKinnon, QB Russell Wilson

15 - WR K.J. Osborn, WR Russell Gage, D/ST Indianapolis Colts

16 - RB Cam Akers (X2), TE Tyler Higbee, TE Shane Zylstra

2022 Benchwarmers of the Week

1 - QB Jalen Hurts (Brett), RB Kareem Hunt (Brett), WR Michael Thomas (Alec)

2 - WR Amon'Ra St. Brown (Nick), QB Tua Tagovailoa (Cole), RB Nick Chubb (Gabe)

3 - WR DeVonta Smith (Gabe), RB Devin Singletary (Gabe), TE David Njoku (Sparky)

4 - RB Miles Sanders (Cole), RB Rashaad Penny (Hoefs), RB Dameon Pierce (Andy)

5 - WR Gabe Davis (Nick), WR Tyler Lockett (Andy), RB Alvin Kamara (Sparky)

6 - WR Brandon Aiyuk (Alec), RB Rhamondre Stevenson (Cole), RB Kenyan Drake (Sparky)

7 - WR JuJu Smith-Schuster (Hoefs), WR D.J. Moore (Hoefs), WR Chris Olave (Sparky)

8 - QB Tua Tagovailoa (Cole X2), WR D.J. Moore (Hoefs X2), QB Dak Prescott (Hoefs)

9 - QB Tua Tagovailoa (Cole X3), WR Christian Kirk (Sparky), WR JuJu Smith-Schuster (Hoefs X2)

10 - RB James Conner (Brett), QB Tua Tagovailoa (Cole X4), RB Tony Pollard (Cole)

11 - WR Joshua Palmer (Alec), RB Jamaal Williams (Nick), QB Justin Fields (Nick)

12 - RB Miles Sanders (Brett X2), QB Justin Herbert (Brett), WR Adam Thielen (Sparky)

13 - WR Tyler Lockett (Cole X2), RB A.J. Dillon (Andy), WR Keenan Allen (Brett)

14 - WR Jerry Jeudy (Alec), WR Mike Williams (Hoefs), WR JuJu Smith-Schuster (Hoefs X3)

15 - WR Zay Jones (Cole), RB Jerick McKinnon (Cole), QB Kirk Cousins (Hoefs)

16 - QB Dak Prescott (Hoefs X2), WR Tee Higgins (Sparky), QB Jared Goff (Nick)

2022 Hottest Benches/Worst Decision Maker Standings

Hoefs - 10

Cole - 10

Sparky - 7

Brett - 6

Nick - 5

Alec - 4

Gabe - 3

Andy - 3

Upcoming Week 4 Schedule for both WRBL and NFL (in CST)
NICK v. COLE

ALEC v. HOEFS

SPARKY v. GABE

ANDY v. BRETT

Thursday @ 7:15 PM: Detroit @ Green Bay

SUNDAY MORNING @ 8:30 AM IN LONDON: Atlanta vs. Jacksonville

Sunday @ NOON: Miami @ Buffalo

Baltimore @ Cleveland

Tampa Bay @ New Orleans

Cincinnati @ Tennessee

Washington @ Philadelphia

LA Rams @ Indianapolis

Minnesota @ Carolina

Pittsburgh @ Houston

Denver @ Chicago

Sunday @ 3:05 PM: Las Vegas @ LA Chargers

Sunday @ 3:25 PM: Arizona @ San Francisco

New England @ Dallas

Sunday @ 7:20 PM: Kansas City @ NY Jets

Monday @ 7:15 PM: Seattle @ NY Giants

Scoring Leaders

QB

Justin Herbert 72.42 (Alec)

Patrick Mahomes 66.42 (Sparky)

Lamar Jackson 57.62 (Brett)

Jalen Hurts 57.6 (Nick)

Josh Allen 54.02 (Cole)

Trevor Lawrence 41.34 (Andy)

Justin Fields 29.28 (Hoefs)

Kirk Cousins 25.68 (Gabe)

Joe Burrow 18.56 (Gabe)

Dak Prescott 14.36 (Hoefs)

RB

Christian McCaffrey 71.3 (Alec)

Tony Pollard 57.2 (Cole)

Bijan Robinson 51.5 (Andy)

Travis Etienne 45.4 (Cole)

Joe Mixon 37.8 (Nick)

Rhamondre Stevenson 37.1 (Brett)

Saquon Barkley 36.5 (Gabe)

James Conner 36.2 (Gabe)

Alexander Mattison 35.8 (Nick)

Rachaad White 35.4 (Andy)

Derrick Henry 34.4 (Hoefs)

James Cook 33.1 (Hoefs)

Kenneth Walker 30.6 (Cole)

Josh Jacobs 30 (Brett)

Jahmyr Gibbs 29.8 (Sparky)

Aaron Jones 26.7 (Sparky)

Austin Ekeler 26.4 (Gabe)

Isiah Pacheco 23.8 (Gabe)

Nick Chubb 23.1 (Nick)

Miles Sanders 17.2 (Nick)

A.J. Dillon 10.6 (Sparky)

Najee Harris 10.6 (Alec)

Kyren Williams 8.5 (Alec)

Javonte Williams 7.8 (Cole)

Dameon Pierce 6.7 (Hoefs)

WR

Keenan Allen 90.76 (Nick)

Tyreek Hill 80.2 (Hoefs)

Justin Jefferson 76.8 (Sparky)

Davante Adams 75.2 (Alec)

Mike Evans 64.7 (Andy)

Stefon Diggs 58.9 (Cole)

Amon-Ra St. Brown 52.9 (Andy)

Chris Olave 52.2 (Hoefs)

DeVonta Smith 47.6 (Gabe)

CeeDee Lamb 47.2 (Sparky)

DK Metcalf 44.4 (Alec)

A.J. Brown 43.9 (Hoefs)

Ja'Marr Chase 43.3 (Brett)

Deebo Samuel 36.4 (Brett)

Calvin Ridley 36.3 (Andy)

Amari Cooper 31.3 (Gabe)

Garrett Wilson 30.7 (Brett)

Michael Pittman Jr. 30.3 (Brett)

DeAndre Hopkins 29.3 (Sparky)

Chris Godwin 29.1 (Gabe)

Tyler Lockett 28.9 (Nick)

Jaylen Waddle 24.2 (Cole)

Puka Nacua 12.2 (Nick)

Brandon Aiyuk 7.3 (Alec)

D.J. Moore 4.5 (Alec)

Tee Higgins 4.1 (Cole)

TE

T.J. Hockenson 50.9 (Alec)

Evan Engram 35.3 (Hoefs)

Travis Kelce 32.5 (Nick)

George Kittle 26.9 (Sparky)

Mark Andrews 23 (Andy)

Sam LaPorta 22.4 (Cole)

Dallas Goedert 17.3 (Gabe)

David Njoku 17.2 (Brett)

Tyler Higbee 7.9 (Nick)

Pat Freiermuth 7.3 (Cole)

Kyle Pitts 6.4 (Andy)

Luke Musgrave 4.5 (Cole)

K

Jake Elliott 40 (Hoefs)

Tyler Bass 36 (Cole)

Evan McPherson 27 (Nick)

Younghoe Koo 26 (Andy)

Harrison Butker 25 (Alec)

Justin Tucker 21 (Sparky)

Riley Patterson 15 (Brett)

Daniel Carlson 14 (Gabe)

Greg Zuerlein 11 (Brett)

DF

Dallas Cowboys 47 (Nick)

Buffalo Bills 43 (Brett)

Pittsburgh Steelers 40 (Hoefs)

Philadelphia Eagles 30 (Andy)

San Francisco 49ers 24 (Sparky)

New York Jets 23 (Gabe)

Miami Dolphins 18 (Alec)

New England Patriots 8 (Cole)

Denver Broncos 4 (Cole)

Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose, no divisions)

Live.Laugh.Olave. 2-1

Scott's Many Endeavors 2-1

Tax Paying Homeowner 2-1

Lord Pretty Flacco Joey 2-1

Colieveland 96ers 2-1

Dad Weights And Protein Shakes 1-2

Jordan Addison's Dog 1-2

Stoltzya's Electric Orcas 0-3

WRBL Week 2, 2023

  Wisconsin Rapids Bro League

Our ninth official season of blaming Cole Walters for morally sketchy individuals making good art.

Bro... 

The Rams and Bengals better be careful because there is a new curse causing a stir in the football world... The Buck/Aikman curse. Going back to Week 15 of the 2022 season, we've seen Kyler Murray, Damar Hamlin, Aaron Rodgers and now, Nick Chubb go down with life-altering Monday night injuries that have us wondering if any of the four will play in a regular season game any time soon. The fear of this curse carrying a fifth week have already weary owners like Nick Zurawski wondering if it's even worth it to finally stick stud rookie wide receiver Puka Nacua into his lineup at the risk of watching Cooper Kupp 2.0 get sacrificed live on national television. For Cole, it can't get much worse than Tee Higgins going from 0.0 in the 96ers' week one win to 28.9 on his week 2 bench during a loss so Higgins will just stay there in case he falls prey whilst reaching for an errant Joe Burrow pass attempt. Speaking of Burrow, if he plays on a bad calf there's no doubt that he's the odds on favorite to leave early during the second of a Monday night doubleheader (I don't know why we're doing this for multiple weeks but it has my full support). Consider yourself warned, Gabe Stoltz. As a new subscriber of the NFL's Sunday Ticket... here are my takeaways from the boatloads of football I saw this weekend...

- That's the type of game Daniel Jones needs to have to prevent the Giants from flirting with trading up in the 2024 NFL draft.

- A.J. Dillon needs to learn how to stand up. That was an otherwise extremely well-played Packer-Falcon game with one bad Desmond Ridder half and a few very off-putting Dillon carries.

- The big difference between Arizona's poor offense and the Steelers is that Pittsburgh has no idea what the hell they are supposed to ask Kenny Pickett or Najee Harris to do. George Pickens bailed their offense out in a similar manner to how Garrett Wilson saves the Jets' face week in and week out.

- Do the Chiefs have the best defense now? No but, they will be a top two all-around team with Dallas by the end of the season if the receivers naturally grow into their roles. Miami is in consideration too once Jalen Ramsey is healthy and Xavien Howard quits trying to break my record of women simultaneously impregnated (nice try, X). 

- Speaking of Miami... *DOLPHIN SCREECH* Tua is MVP favorite. Very cool to see. 1 like = 1 prayer for health.

- Tampa Bay is shockingly competent with Baker Mayfield being the only QB to take fewer hits (in the backfield) than Tua so far. It's a very small sample size but they have the defensive pieces in line to win a hilariously competitive NFC South. 

- I love New Orleans' passing game and just wish Sean Payton were still coaching that team instead of wasting his time in Denver creating nothing besides headlines. I don't even think Russell Wilson has been bad considering what's around him now but, it's still an ugly team that needs more than one Hail Mary to undo their bad vibes that started the minute Tim Patrick went down again.

- What is Frank Reich doing? Why has Andy Dalton been substituted for multiple ___ and 1s? He isn't Jacoby Brissett in terms of build and he's certainly not Cam Newton in terms of mobility. Bryce Young supposedly isn't fully healthy (which might explain his very DAVID Carr-like performance so far) but if that were the case, why would you even waste the kid at all? Reich might be a one-and-done if he doesn't get this looking respectable by the trade deadline or before Adam Thielen (Young's only safety blanket out there) gets hurt. 

- The Bills are BACK. More James Cook! The Jets are DEAD. Bring in Colt McCoy! 

Before we get to a week three where we can blame Cole Walters for things like convincing Alec to drop Tua Tagovailoa onto waivers so that Nick might pull the ultimate homer move and pick the MVP favorite off waivers, here's the summary of things we blamed Cole for in 2022...

Things we blamed Cole Walters for in 2022

1. Spitting on Chris Pine.

2. Haribo Gummy Bears' after effects.

3. Adam Levine's texting etiquette.

4. The emergence of another social media service.

5. My car taking a Cal Raleigh-sized dumper as I turned off the highway.

6. Using ayahuasca instead of studying.

7. 80% of the ocean being unexplored.

8. Overly complicated Halloween costumes.

9. Back-shoulder fades to David Bakhtiari on 4th down.

10. Inflation.

11. Fruit flies.

12. My typo on Week 11's title.

13. My first time getting pulled over.

14. Nick forgetting to update the ESPN settings again.

15. Nepo Babies.

16. Ice patches on the morning roads.

To quote Pretenders' lead singer Chrissie Hynde, "Don't get me wroooooong"... a lot of those things were my fault but it's just more fun to point at Cole and say hey, maybe if he didn't almost get some of us shot in a Pizza Hut parking lot, none of these future actions would have transpired. Much like a butterfly effect, Jordan Addison's dog (Brett) and the Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec) are looking to burst from their proverbial 0-2 cocoons as they are potentially in do-or-die situations this week against Nick and Gabe (respectively). The Chargers and Vikings are both too good to face 0-3 themselves but alas, the odds have not been in their favor so far whether that be coaching or poor defense or a little of both and now they enter a loser-leaves-town game already. It'll be sad to see Brandon Staley end up in an advisory role for the Rams again just in time for their playoff push. Speaking of changing jobs, I'm back at the place I was working last year before I went back to the other much darker place and things are different yet improved, much like Sparky's 2023 lineup that now stars a trio of Patrick Mahomes, Justin Jefferson and George Kittle. Now, if only the two non-Jeffersons could please show up, he'd be able to dampen my 2-0 spirit a bit and the Shooter McGavin division could look a little less bleak. Oh yeah that's right, we have divisions again even though I completely neglected to place them in last week's post. It's a completely understandable error considering I'm trying to post the 2022 wrap-up one week at a time here before I eventually put it all together in one massive post while doing these but that's just my biased opinion. Nathaniel has a chance to do something very funny and put our defending champion at the bottom of the Steven Nett division for a second consecutive week (!) by sending him to 1-2 which with Jaylen Waddle questionable is entirely possible! For now, I challenge anyone to top my NFL Immaculate Grid score of 34 from this week without cheating!

After completing this, I eventually remembered that Punter Craig Hentrich played for both Green Bay and Tennessee and felt myself die a little.

Official WRBL Standings 

Steven Nett Division

LIVE.LAUGH.OLAVE. (Nathaniel Hoefs) 2-0 W2 (283.98)

Dad Weights and Protein Shakes (Jaime Sparkes AKA: Sparky) 1-1 L1 (245.64)

Stoltzya's Electric Orcas (Gabe Stoltz) 1-1 W1 (212.66)

Coleiveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 1-1 L1 (211)

Shooter McGavin Division

Lord Pretty Flacco Joey (Andy Todd) 2-0 W2 (269.88)

Scott's Many Endeavors (Nick Zurawski) 1-1 W1 (252.62)

Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 0-2 L2 (235.16)

Jordan Addison's Dog (Brett Weinfurter) 0-2 L2 (194.34)

Week Two Final Scores

ANDY defeats ALEC 135.74-130.8

HOEFS defeats BRETT 138.34-108.58

GABE defeats COLE 114.28-97.06

NICK defeats SPARKY 139.62-120.3

Heroes of the Week: WR Keenan Allen (31.1, Nick), WR Mike Evans (29.1, Andy), RB Saquon Barkley (27.2, Gabe)

Waiver Wonders: QB Daniel Jones (30.74), RB Kyren Williams (28), WR Nico Collins (27.6)

Benchwarmers of the Week: WR Puka Nacua (30.1, Nick), RB Brian Robinson (28.9, Alec), WR Tee Higgins (28.9, Cole)

George Walker IV/Associated Press
Hero of the Week: WR Keenan Allen (Scott's Many Endeavors)

Upcoming Week 3 Schedule for both WRBL and NFL (in CST)
HOEFS v. COLE

SPARKY v. ANDY

ALEC v. NICK

GABE v. BRETT

Thursday @ 7:15 PM: NY Giants @ San Francisco

Sunday @ NOON: LA Chargers @ Minnesota

New Orleans @ Green Bay

Denver @ Miami

Atlanta @ Detroit

Houston @ Jacksonville

Indianapolis @ Baltimore

Tennessee @ Cleveland

New England @ NY Jets

Sunday @ 3:05 PM: Carolina @ Seattle

Sunday @ 3:25 PM: Chicago @ Kansas City

Dallas @ Arizona

Sunday @ 7:20 PM: Pittsburgh @ Las Vegas

Monday @ 6:15 PM: Philadelphia @ Tampa Bay

Monday @ 7:15 PM: LA Rams @ Cincinnati

Scoring Leaders

QB

Justin Herbert 43.12 (Alec)

Patrick Mahomes 40.74 (Sparky)

Jalen Hurts 37.72 (Nick)

Josh Allen 32.7 (Cole)

Lamar Jackson 29.44 (Brett)

Justin Fields 29.28 (Hoefs)

Trevor Lawrence 26.98 (Andy)

Joe Burrow 18.56 (Gabe)

RB

Christian McCaffrey 48.4 (Alec)

Tony Pollard 42.1 (Cole)

Bijan Robinson 41.5 (Andy)

Saquon Barkley 36.5 (Gabe)

Derrick Henry 32.4 (Hoefs)

Rhamondre Stevenson 29.9 (Brett)

Rachaad White 28.2 (Andy)

Travis Etienne 27.6 (Cole)

Aaron Jones 26.7 (Sparky)

Austin Ekeler 26.4 (Gabe)

Joe Mixon 23.8 (Nick)

Nick Chubb 23.1 (Nick)

Jahmyr Gibbs 20.6 (Sparky)

James Cook 19.9 (Hoefs)

Josh Jacobs 19 (Brett)

Alexander Mattison 18.3 (Nick)

James Conner 16.6 (Gabe)

Najee Harris 10.6 (Alec)

Isiah Pacheco 8 (Gabe)

Javonte Williams 7.8 (Cole)

A.J. Dillon 7.3 (Sparky)

Dameon Pierce 6.7 (Hoefs)

WR

Tyreek Hill 59.5 (Hoefs)

Justin Jefferson 48.9 (Sparky)

Mike Evans 47.7 (Andy)

Keenan Allen 45.3 (Nick)

DeVonta Smith 40.8 (Gabe)

Stefon Diggs 39.8 (Cole)

CeeDee Lamb 37 (Sparky)

Chris Olave 33.8 (Hoefs)

Amon-Ra St. Brown 33.3 (Andy)

Davante Adams 33 (Alec)

Garrett Wilson 30.7 (Brett)

Calvin Ridley 29.3 (Andy)

Tyler Lockett 28.9 (Nick)

DK Metcalf 27.2 (Alec)

Jaylen Waddle 24.2 (Cole)

A.J. Brown 21.8 (Hoefs)

DeAndre Hopkins 21.5 (Sparky)

Chris Godwin 20.9 (Gabe)

Ja'Marr Chase 17.2 (Brett)

Michael Pittman Jr. 13.6 (Brett)

Deebo Samuel 11.3 (Brett)

Brandon Aiyuk 7.3 (Alec)

Amari Cooper 6.7 (Gabe)

D.J. Moore 4.5 (Alec)

TE

T.J. Hockenson 37.1 (Alec)

Evan Engram 21.6 (Hoefs)

Mark Andrews 15.5 (Andy)

Travis Kelce 12.6 (Nick)

David Njoku 11.2 (Brett)

George Kittle 10.9 (Sparky)

Dallas Goedert 8.2 (Gabe)

Tyler Higbee 7.9 (Nick)

Pat Freiermuth 7.3 (Cole)

Kyle Pitts 6.4 (Andy)

Luke Musgrave 4.5 (Cole)

K

Jake Elliott 29 (Hoefs)

Tyler Bass 21 (Cole)

Younghoe Koo 20 (Andy)

Justin Tucker 15 (Sparky)

Harrison Butker 13 (Alec)

Greg Zuerlein 11 (Brett)

Daniel Carlson 10 (Gabe)

Evan McPherson 9 (Nick)

Riley Patterson 7 (Brett)

DF

Dallas Cowboys 46 (Nick)

Pittsburgh Steelers 30 (Hoefs)

New York Jets 20 (Gabe)

Philadelphia Eagles 19 (Andy)

San Francisco 49ers 17 (Sparky)

Buffalo Bills 14 (Brett)

Miami Dolphins 11 (Alec)

Denver Broncos 4 (Cole)

Final Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose, no divisions)

Live.Laugh.Olave. 2-0

Lord Pretty Flacco Joey 2-0

Scott's Many Endeavors 1-1

Dad Weights And Protein Shakes 1-1

Tax Paying Homeowner 1-1

Colieveland 96ers 1-1

Stoltzya's Electric Orcas 0-2

Jordan Addison's Dog 0-2