Previewing The 60th Annual Grammy Awards

Award Season is already in full swing with the weak SAG Awards and the overrated Emmy's out of the way and with Oscar Nominations now unveiled, it's time to focus on my favorite show of them all... The 60th Annual Grammy Award Ceremony. Of course, these music awards are just as messy and inconsistent as the other award shows... even more so (Still upset about the AOTY snub for Blackstar last year) but, that's what makes predicting them so fun. There are always a few categories that make one stop and ask "what would these people do if in a bar together?" For example... Michael Buble', Seth McFarlane, Bob Dylan, Sarah McLachlan and technically Tony Bennett are nominated for Best Traditional Pop Album and just... what the fuck? Also, there's the constant debate over what is most important in deciding the eventual victors of the major categories, popularity or acclaim? Chris Cornell received the annual "in honorary remembrance of..." nomination for Best Rock Performance of his song "The Promise" alongside also-deceased Leonard Cohen but, that category simply is not notable enough for me to cover this season as the rock genre has been in memorial for years at this ceremony.

Despite the slowly fading relevancy of the Grammy Awards, there are still a few categories that will have everyone debating this Sunday evening as the academy actually did a decent job at finding nominees this year, keeping the Grammy's as a hot topic for one more year at the very least. After all, Taylor Swift and Adele weren't eligible so IT IS ANYBODY'S GAME THIS YEAR. It's time to pick apart who SHOULD win each of the big awards and who ultimately WILL be crowned as Grammy winners for eternity.

Record of the Year

And the nominees are...

- "Despacito" by Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber
- "Humble" by Kendrick Lamar
- "Redbone" by Childish Gambino
- "The Story of O.J." by Jay Z
- "24K Magic" by Bruno Mars

Who should win? Childish Gambino
Who will win? "Despacito"

I have never seen the Record of the Year category looking more relevant and fun as it does this year. "Despacito" was an obvious nominee by it's chart dominance (#1 for 16 weeks on the Hot 100) and worldwide appeal (bilingual lyricism over a fun beat? Jackpot). In another corner, we have "Humble", the worst Kendrick Lamar song that I'd be okay with winning the award because it would be the Grammy committee's way of apologizing for To Pimp A Butterfly's robbery two years ago at the hands of Taylor Swift. "The Story of O.J." is the deepest track nominated as the richest man nominated raps about how no matter what, many will still just see him as a black man and whatever stereotypes one might associate with that basic label that would diminish all of Shawn Carter's accomplishments. "24K Magic" is another party-starter that combines some of the most upbeat genres on a song performed by one of the most charismatic people in the game right now to perform on the Grammy stage multiple times. The curveball here is also my personal favorite as the slower, smoother "Redbone" by Childish Gambino (AKA: Donald Glover). I cannot remember a song this psychedelic ever being nominated and it's pretty damn cool that the dude scheduled to play Simba in the live-action remake of The Lion King coming next year, star as Lando Calrissian in the next Star Wars movie AND the creator of one of the best shows on television, Atlanta, is the genius behind this really cool song that also opened the Oscar-nominated film, Get Out last year. It's anybody's game but, I think "Despacito" wins because it was just too dominant to ignore and maybe the voters felt like giving a song with such a heavy Spanish influence the biggest award of the night when our country has decided to keep building walls instead of bridges.

Album of the Year

And the nominees are...

- 24K Magic by Bruno Mars
- 4:44 by Jay Z
- "Awaken, My Love!" by Childish Gambino
- Damn by Kendrick Lamar
- Melodrama by Lorde

Who should win? Lorde
Who will win? Kendrick Lamar

Good As I have already posted at the end of 2017, Masseduction by St. Vincent was my favorite album of the past year but dammit, I LOVE that Lorde album almost just as much. Every song is pop perfection with only "Green Light" seeming at all like a desperate attempt at being a pop hit. Unfortunately, Ella Yelich O'Connor (AKA: Lorde) was unable to grab any mainstream attention prior to her nomination for this award with no other songs having any serious Billboard or radio impact and that has held her down to just one lone nomination on the evening when "Writer In The Dark" should absolutely be nominated for Song of the Year. Ultimately, these are still the Grammy voters we're looking at here and they'll go for a slightly inferior (still a top-20 album of 2017 so, still pretty fucking great) album to make sure the casual music listener (AKA: Your grandparents that still watch CBS) take this Lamar guy seriously by handing him the most awards on the evening when they couldn't do that in the past because of some weird debt they probably owed to Taylor Swift and/or Macklemore and/or Adele.

Song of the Year

And the nominees are...

- "Despacito" by Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber
- "4:44" by Jay Z
- "Issues" by Julia Michaels
- "1-800-273-8255" by Logic featuring Alessia Cara & Khalid
- "That's What I Like" by Bruno Mars

Who should win? "1-800-273-8255"
Who will win? Julia Michaels

The Song of the Year takes every bit and piece of the song into consideration while the Record of the Year category listens more to the vocal performance than anything else. Ultimately, "Despacito" is probably more likely to win this award than Record of the Year but, it is neither that creative an idea for a song nor is it phenomenally performed. "1-800-273-8255" is a pretty safe bet to win due to it's direct and dark subject matter but, the committee seems to just adore one-hit wonders that fade away due to sounding too similar on all of their tracks and Julia Michaels fits that mold perfectly as a performing artist. She deserves a reward for being as busy and successful a songwriter as she is but, that doesn't mean "Issues" is anything more than a mediocre song about how she's just a crazy girl looking for love over one of the most boring beats of the past year. This will be the one to upset Twitter as that's a guarantee for at least one announcement annually.

Best New Artist

And the nominees are...

- Alessia Cara
- Julia Michaels
- Khalid
- Lil Uzi Vert
- SZA

Who should win? SZA
Who will win? Alessia Cara

SZA first caught my attention when I heard that an artist from Kendrick Lamar's Top Dawg Entertainment (TDE) label out of California had a female singer put her vocals over the psychedelic electronic vibes of XXYYXX's "About You". That song turned into SZA's first prominent single, "Child's Play" and featured Chance The Rapper as he was on the rise in the industry. In other words, she is not the newest of new artists but, she did just release her first proper album in Ctrl and in a field of nominees with nice yet forgettable albums and singles, she has the most memorable album along with a promising future. Lil Uzi Vert easily has the most prominent song of any of the nominees with "XO Tour Llif3"and he could easily win the song off of one major hit song as many new artists have done in the past, although not recently. Ultimately, Alessia Cara had the most consistent mainstream success with her songs "Here", "Scars To Your Beautiful" and her cameos on Zedd's "Stay" and Logic's "1-800-273-8255". I'm not against an Alessia Cara win here but, I'd bet on SZA for longevity.

Best Pop Solo Performance

And the nominees are...

- "Love So Soft" by Kelly Clarkson
- "Million Reasons" by Lady Gaga
- "Praying" by Kesha
- "Shape Of You" by Ed Sheeran
- "What About Us" by P!nk

Who should win? Kesha
Who will win? Ed Sheeran

In life there are very few guarantees... Death, taxes and Kelly Clarkson getting nominated for a Grammy despite her faded relevancy in the mainstream pop radio waves. For real though, the first American Idol winner (that happened 17 years ago!) has been nominated for this award four times in the seven years it has existed with three bad songs and this song, "Love So Soft" that is nice but, saw zero impact on the charts and never got the national push that it might have five years ago when the pop music genre was thriving far more than it is today. "Million Reasons" was a very good piano ballad that feels like it was a million years ago, "What About Us" is the politically conscious song that so many in music failed to make this year (Katy Perry received zero nominations, by the way) and "Praying" was my #1 song of 2017 as it continues to grow after it was the first major domino that has resulted in the change in the Hollywood culture that has kept assault accusations under wraps since popular culture became a thing. This should not be that hard but, the Grammy's voters may still see Kesha as the rich blonde pop star that used autotune for nothing but fun club hits. Ed Sheeran's "Shape Of You" was #1 on Billboard for 12 weeks and it was EVERYWHERE and the unavoidable hit song is a pretty safe bet to win at least one award no matter how lame that hit actually is at it's core.

Best Pop Duo/Group Performance

And the nominees are...

- "Despacito" by Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber
- "Feel It Still" by Portugal. The Man
- "Something Just Like This" by The Chainsmokers featuring Coldplay
- "Stay" by Zedd featuring Alessia Cara
- "Thunder" by Imagine Dragons

Who should win? "Stay"
Who will win? "Despacito"

"Stay" (performed by the above pictured Alessia Cara and Zedd) is the strongest contender in an unusually weak category. However, "Despacito" still has too many numbers to not come out victorious.

Best Pop Vocal Album

And the nominees are...

- Divide by Ed Sheeran
- Evolve by Imagine Dragons
- Joanne by Lady Gaga
- Kaleidoscope EP by Coldplay
- Lust For Life by Lana Del Rey
- Rainbow by Kesha

Who should win? Lana Del Rey
Who will win? Ed Sheeran

Again, my personal choice for winner would be known simply by looking at my Top 20 Albums of 2017 list as Lust For Life made that list and no other nominations under this category did. It was another album of subtle yet brilliant transformation in the career musical trajectory of Lana Del Rey as she got a bit political, made new interesting duet partners and continued to have one of the best voices in pop music today. Frankly, Coldplay should not be nominated here as there are typically only five nominees and their EP was not even a full album and their inclusion in the list is a bit of a slap in the face to every other pop act that was ignored by the Grammy's this year and even those that received nominations in other categories (Lorde, for instance). Ed Sheeran will win this award because he still holds that crossover appeal that pop fans, dad-rockers and the elderly all seem to have a favorable opinion of the singer from overseas.

Best Alternative Music Album

And the nominees are...

- American Dream by LCD Soundsystem
- Everything Now by Arcade Fire
- Humanz by Gorillaz
- Pure Comedy by Father John Misty
- Sleep Well Beast by The National

Who should win? Father John Misty, but it's a seriously close contest
Who will win? Father John Misty

The Alternative Music category had a bit of an odd year where legacy acts like four of the five nominated here made a return to mixed reviews. LCD Soundsystem's album is an acquired taste yet, more of the same from a band off a seven year hiatus that only seemed to make them stronger. Arcade Fire took a whole bunch of criticism for making a sloppy album that jumped into ska music right at the center of the album, an unforgivable mistake, and still had some fun songs that can be played for years and years down the road at festivals everywhere ("Creature Comfort", "We Don't Deserve Love", "Everything Now"). The album by Damon Albarn's Gorillaz side-project was extremely hit or miss on a track-by-track basis with memorably weird cameos (Mavis Staples, Grace Jones, Benjamin Clementine and Popcaan, to name a few). Meanwhile, The National experimented with the electronic genre a bit while still making an epic good alt-rock record and yet, a newcomer has outdone them all with his first nomination after four solo albums as Father John Misty provided a whole bunch of social commentary and sarcasm galore on his "THESE ARE THE END TIMES... or maybe not." album, Pure Comedy. I'm a fan of all five nominated records but, FJM won me over just a tad more and with all of the critics seemingly agreeing on him this past year, it's likely he'll take home the Grammy.

Best R&B Song

And the nominees are...

- "First Began" by PJ Morton
- "Location" by Khalid
- "Redbone" by Childish Gambino
- "Supermodel" by SZA
- "That's What I Like" by Bruno Mars

Who should win? Gambino
Who will win? Gambino

An obvious winner based on who's nominated for record of the year (Childish Gambino) and yet, Bruno Mars gets a shout out here as it is obvious that "That's What I Like" was the more successful song based on chart performance and name recognition (everyone likes Bruno Mars). The two up-and-comers (SZA and Khalid) will have their chances at this award again as long as they stick to their genres (if not, that'd be even cooler) and PJ Morton is the annual "who's this guy?" nominee as has become common in the lesser-recognized genre categories. PS: He's the black guy in Maroon 5. Yeah, there's someone other than Adam Levine in Maroon 5, who knew?

Best Urban Contemporary Album

And the nominees are...

- American Teen by Khalid
- "Awaken, My Love!" by Childish Gambino
- Ctrl by SZA
- Free 6lack by 6lack
- Starboy by The Weeknd

Who should win? The Weeknd or Gambino
Who will win? Childish Gambino

The Childish Gambino album was one hell of a feat for an actor-turned-rapper that suddenly turned into an experimental singer with some throwback vibes, wild vocal tricks and one of the greatest album covers EVER.

EVER.

Ultimately, the third Gambino album will win the Grammy for Best Urban Contemporary Album but, The Weeknd is still my slightly preferred album as it is just pop/hip hop goodness that The Weeknd has become famous for. It may have run a bit long but, Starboy stays interesting throughout even when Abel Tesfaye seems to be staying in his same lane while Donald Glover spreads his creative wings.

Best Rap Performance

And the nominees are...

- "Bad and Boujee" by Migos featuring Lil Uzi Vert
- "Bodak Yellow" by Cardi B
- "Bounce Back" by Big Sean
- "4:44" by Jay Z
- "Humble" by Kendrick Lamar

Who should win? Jay Z
Who will win? Kendrick

In a year where rap music dominated unlike any other, this would be the most exciting announcement of the night if only the nominations for Record of the Year and Song of the Year weren't known beforehand. "Humble" received a Record of the Year nomination and Kendrick has seven nominations in total, while Jay Z has a top-of-the-class eight nominations with "4:44" already nominated for Song of the Year. "Bad And Boujee" may have dominated the first half of the past Grammy season and "Bodak Yellow" dominated #ListSeason2017 but, the respect that has been widespread for Lamar and Jay Z shows that it is ultimately down to which performance the voters preferred between the two. I'm still not big on "Humble", the worst song on Damn but, it is a great performance of bad material by the biggest rapper in the universe in the late-2010s. I might prefer "4:44" but, Lamar is in his prime and this is his Grammy to lose.

Best Rap/Sung Performance

And the nominees are...

- "Crew" by GoldLink ft. Brent Faiyaz & Shy Glizzy
- "Family Feud" by Jay Z ft. Beyonce'
- "Love Galore" by SZA ft. Travis Scott
- "Loyalty" by Kendrick Lamar ft. Rihanna
- "Prblms" by 6lack

Who should win? Kendrick & Rihanna
Who will win? Bey & Jay

Jay Z has won this award seven of the ten times he's been nominated and he's now been nominated for a third time alongside his wife, Beyonce' (another person that probably has an entire cabinet full of awards. In other words, it seems like this category was created just for them and that's perfectly fine as both have had lengthy careers worthy of music awards. SZA and Travis Scott have a case for winning this award as well with "Love Galore" being right up there with "Family Feud" and "Loyalty" as very good songs but, both seem too young for a committee that seems to reward longevity over early sparks of success (see Arcade Fire winning Album of the Year for The Suburbs, while Funeral received no nomination two albums prior). Again, this category comes down to Kendrick versus Jay on two songs that would sound extremely underwhelming without their female counterparts contributing their singing voices. It all comes down to personal preference and I prefer "Loyalty" as a song despite "Family Feud"'s stronger subject matter and dope music video.

Best Rap Album

And the nominees are...

- Culture by Migos
- Damn by Kendrick Lamar
- Flower Boy by Tyler, The Creator
- 4:44 by Jay Z
- Laila's Wisdom by Rapsody

Who should win? Tyler
Who will win? Kendrick

All five nominees allegedly have amazing albums and I can confirm that for four of these but, exclusivity be damned, I still have not heard 4:44 and I must knock it for that because I am a flawed individual with my own personal biases (Hey, maybe the committee thinks that way too!). Culture LITERALLY changed the culture of rap music in 2017, the year mumbled autotuning took over but, it was nothing more than one of the more fun yet extensive listens of the year. The three remaining nominees were all on my Top 20 Albums list and ranked as follows...

#19. Laila's Wisdom by Rapsody
#16. Damn by Kendrick Lamar
#7. Flower Boy by Tyler, The Creator

So, it's already been determined that the album originally referred to as Scum Fuck/Flower Boy should win Best Rap Album as Tyler did a majority of the production for his own album and as has become the expectation for Tyler's albums, the production is fucking amazing. He has matured dramatically as a musician and deserves to take home at least one Grammy but again, the committee still needs to make up for choosing Taylor Swift over Kendrick Lamar. Kung Fu Kenny has this one in the bag.

Tune into CBS this Sunday evening at 7:30 PM EST as it will be hosted by LL Cool James Corden (They should really try a bit harder with their hosting choices) with performances by the following...

- Lady Gaga

- Pink

- Childish Gambino

- Little Big Town

- Ben Platt

- Patti LuPone 

- Bruno Mars and Cardi B 

- DJ Khaled, Rihanna and Bryson Tiller 

- Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee 

- Logic, Alessia Cara and Khalid 

- SZA

- Kesha with Camila Cabello, Cyndi Lauper, Julia Michaels and Andra Day 

- Kendrick Lamar

- U2

- Elton John and Miley Cyrus

- Sam Smith

- Eric Church, Maren Morris and Brothers Osborne

- Sting

- Jon Batiste

- Zuleyka Rivera

- Chris Stapleton and Emmylou Harris

Enjoy the festivities and personally, I hope I top 50% on my picks this year because, this is always a labor of love of music.

WRBL Award Voting Is Now Open!

Did you enjoy reading about the escapades of the 2017-18 season of the Wisconsin Rapids Bro League (WRBL)? If so, then now is the time to vote for the league's award winners! Just as was true last season, voting is now OPEN to anybody who chooses to vote at this link for Rookie of the Year, Biggest Draft Bust, Waiver Wonder, Comeback Player of the Year and Zero of the Year. The winners will be announced in this year's WRBL Year In Review and voting closes whenever the hell I feel like it.

Use the final "As The WRBL Turns" as a guide for scoring leaders.

Rookie of the Year

- RB Leonard Fournette (203 points after getting drafted in the second round by Darrin Aschebrook, only went 3-11 in the WRBL but, carried the Jaguars on his back to the postseason)
- RB Kareem Hunt (Third in RB scoring with 264 points, including a 44-point week 1 and a 39-point performance to send Andy Todd to the Championship. Was drafted prior to the Spencer Ware injury in the fourteenth round)
- RB Alvin Kamara (Second Team All-Bro, 225 points helped Darrin avoid the MoonBak Bowl and he outscored his Saints' teammate Mark Ingram, despite never starting over him)
- RB Christian McCaffrey (Quietly put up 183 points for Scott Aschebrook after being Scott's sixth-round pick and was a big part of Scott's run to the postseason)

Draft Bust of the Year

- RB David Johnson (Suffered an eventual season-ending injury after 1.5 games for Darrin's 3-11 team. Johnson was the #1 overall draft pick and a vote for him means that you're okay with kicking a player while they're down/injured. Johnson only scored 12 points.)
- WR Jordy Nelson (The last pick of the first round suffered severely with Brett Hundley throwing him the ball on an infrequent and inconsistent basis for nine games of the WRBL season. Nelson scored 95 points for Scott and he scored 7 points or fewer from week 7 onward.)
- RB Jay Ajayi (The second-rounder was so underwhelming early on that Miami dealt him to the Eagles, where he entered a four-headed running back timeshare that killed most of his fantasy value and all of Nick's faith/trust in Ajayi. Nick Zurawski only got 57 points from Ajayi despite his being active for 14 NFL games).
- WR Amari Cooper (Was traded prior to opening day after being taken 23rd overall with QB DeShaun Watson to Cole Walters from Nick Zurawski for QB Derek Carr, who also underwhelmed, and photos of Cole's nipples. Cooper dropped his way to just 54 points and only one memorable game on a Thursday night on Cole's bench).

Waiver Wonder (Best Waiver Addition)

- TE Evan Engram (Once Martellus Bennett betrayed Cole's trust and Odell Beckham Jr. plus Brandon Marshall went down with injuries, Cole Walters grabbed the Giant rookie tight end and despite some down weeks, Engram racked up 105 points, good enough for fifth in WRBL scoring at his position.)
- RB Alvin Kamara (Darrin picked up Kamara after week 3 when the rookie was still the Saints' third-string running back. After Adrian Peterson was traded to the Cardinals, Kamara became an every-week starter for Team ChowHounds and 225 points later, Darrin may have found his offseason keeper.)
- WR Adam Thielen (After a 24-point showing in week one, Darrin added the Vikings' slot receiver and rode his 178 points to a not-last-place finish. Of all the players nominated for the Waiver Wonder award, Thielen's ascent to dominance was the most surprising.)
- QB Carson Wentz (The Eagles' second-year quarterback was only healthy and rostered in the WRBL from weeks 5 through 14, Ryan enjoyed that 9-game span [his bye week was week 10] as it seriously helped catapult the WRBL rookie Ryan Dougherty into the Championship while Drew Brees was surprisingly inconsistent on Team Easy Breesy's bench. Wentz dropped 127 before tearing his ACL.)

Comeback Player of the Year

- WR Keenan Allen (After playing just one game due to a Torn ACL in 2016, Allen came back with a punch and a WRBL Championship as his 222 points were a big reason Ryan was crowned league champion.)
- RB Todd Gurley (Despite a top-10 finish in RB scoring for 2016, nobody saw Gurley becoming league MVP behind a league-leading 332 points with 92 of those coming over two WRBL playoff games for Ryan.)
- WR DeAndre Hopkins (Even though DeShaun Watson was only healthy enough to toss the pigskin to Houston's #1 wideout for six games, Hopkins was still an entirely different football player with Brock Osweiler gone to Denver. Hopkins gave Nick the top-two scoring receivers in the WRBL with Antonio Brown at #1 and Hopkins' 287 points at #2.)
- QB Russell Wilson (A sore lower body caused by horrendous offensive line play kept Wilson in a battle with Marcus Mariota for a starting spot in the SNEEN MACHINE's 2016 lineup. Despite more terrible offensive line play in 2017, Wilson was able to stay healthy and turn in his best statistical season to date with a WRBL-leading 312 points for Alec Swanson.)

Sean M. Haffey/Getty Images
Russell Wilson was born a scramblin' man.

Zero of the Year

- Cole Walters (The owner of the Colieveland 96ers team lived up to his Cleveland inspiration by running a team just poorly enough to finish in last place and get MoonBak honors. He went from worst to first, back to worst and did not attend the final season meeting, only to complain about rule changes made at the meeting he knew rule changes would be discussed and decided upon during).
- QB Brett Hundley (Killed the value of Jordy Nelson, convinced Martellus Bennett to leave after less than half a season in Green Bay and was not Aaron Rodgers. Hundley also cost Nick $20 on his Packers +9 bet made with Scott in week 16).
- WR Terrelle Pryor (Completely disappeared in Washington after a 1,000 yard contract season for Cleveland in 2016.)
- Hue Jackson (Coached an 0-16 team, has a 1-31 record over two seasons, has yet to coach anyone not named Terrelle Pryor to a successful season despite being an offensive coordinator in his previous life).

Have a suggestion for a new award? Leave a comment with your suggestions and I might add a new category at some point between now and next season. Until then, vote as you may, vote as you might, just please do not turn this into a voters' fight.