WRBL Week 3, 2021

 Wisconsin Rapids Bro League

Week Three

Our Seventh Official Season of blaming Cole Walters for the shortness of a Wisconsin summer.

Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks)

Steven Nett Division

Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 3-0 W4

Scott's Many Endeavors (Nick Zurawski) 3-0 W3

Yeezy Taught Me (Nathaniel Hoefs) 1-2 L2

Todd's Plan (Andy Todd) 1-2 L1

Tanner Glaza Division

Take Mahomes Country Roads (Ryan Dougherty) 1-2 L1

SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 1-2 W1

Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 1-2 L2

Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 1-2 W1

Week Three Final Scores

DARRIN defeats RYAN  135.14-117

NICK defeats ALEC  124.88-102.74

SNEEN defeats ANDY  149.18-119.22

COLE defeats HOEFS   161.14-120.34

Heroes of the Week: WR Mike Williams (33.2), WR Davante Adams (31.2), WR Cooper Kupp (30.6)

Waiver Wonders: WR Emmanuel Sanders (26.4), TE Dalton Schultz (26.0), QB Sam Darnold (25.26)

What-if of the Week: If Ryan would have started RB James Robinson (25.4) over WR Amari Cooper (5.6), he would have beaten Darrin by 1.66.

USA TODAY Sports
Waiver Wonder: WR Emmanuel Sanders (5 catches, 94 yards, 2 TDs)

Upcoming Week 4 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)

Nick v. Cole

Andy v. Darrin

Sneen v. Ryan

Alec v. Hoefs

Thursday Night Football: Jacksonville @ Cincinnati 7:20 PM

Sunday NOON: Washington @ Atlanta

Houston @ Buffalo

Detroit @ Chicago

Carolina @ Dallas

Indianapolis @ Miami

Cleveland @ Minnesota

NY Giants @ New Orleans

Tennessee @ NY Jets

Kansas City @ Philadelphia

3:05 PM: Arizona @ LA Rams

Seattle @ San Francisco

3:25 PM: Denver @ Baltimore

Pittsburgh @ Green Bay

Sunday Night Football: Tampa Bay @ New England 7:20 PM 

Monday Night Football: Las Vegas @ LA Chargers 7:15 PM

Bro...

Three weeks into the 2021 NFL season and already the flukiness of week #1 is showing itself. The Eagles looked like the next exceptional offense with an NFC East crown on their minds back on September 12th, only to look like absolute dog shit on Monday Night Football in Dallas this week. They are not alone in giving fans false hope. Hell, they aren't even the only team from the state of Pennsylvania to drive their fans up a wall with their ineptitude this September. The Steelers are WASHED and hiding in plain sight with star weaponry like Najee Harris, oft-injured Diontae Johnson, Chase Claypool and JuJu Smith-Schuster keeping some terrible towel wavers blindly optimistic when their poisoned o-line can't give Ben Roethlisberger (the NFL's current interpretation of Mike Myers' Fat Bastard character from the Austin Powers film franchise) three seconds to release five-yard ducks. The Pittsburgh defense is presently riding on whether or not Minkah Quitz-Patrick feels like playing in coverage on a drive-by-drive basis. None of those negatives seem to feel as bad as what's going on in Chicago right now somehow. The Justin Fields era maybe could have waited until the Bears had an offensive line of their own as the rookie was under pressure every single down, taking 9 sacks, completing 6 passes and gaining 1 single net passing yard. It was an embarrassing effort all around and with Nick Foles' trade block lack of advertising, it's honestly shocking Matt Nagy didn't just take more eye-rolling from armchair head coaches by rolling the Super Bowl MVP out there to give his trade value SOME merit. I wonder if the Steelers would deal Big Ben and a 7th for Foles. That's not as asinine as it sounds but, that's also never happening and I'm on crack right now.

The media will have plenty of time to assess those three losers and their tugging at fans heartstrings all season long. Now, it's time to focus on the even more plentiful three-weak surprises like this incredible list of five teams that remain undefeated...

- Los Angeles Rams

- Denver Broncos

- Las Vegas Raiders

- Arizona Cardinals

- Carolina Panthers

The Carolina Panthers logo she tells you not to worry about.

In a way, we sort of all saw this version of an upgraded Rams' offense coming with Jared Goff exiting for the much more electric Matthew Stafford and that is where the list of predictable 3-0 teams ends. Kyler Murray has proven to be fully healed from his lower body injuries that slowed down his 2020 productivity and the veteran additions of A.J. Green plus J.J. Watt look like classic cases of "so far, so good" because who knows how long those two can stay out of the medical tent. Overall, the Cardinals are greatly improved yet have had an extremely beneficial schedule to this point with this week's game at the LA Rams a clear highlight of the weekend ahead in both reality and fantasy. Another hot national game in LA sees the undefeated Raiders rolling into their old stomping grounds after three consecutive close victories looking to take down preseason favorites, the 2-1 Chargers. The Raiders have made some extremely bold choices in benching recent draft choices like the inactive #4 overall pick from 2019, DE Clelin Ferrell and playing veteran journeymen and lower-drafted rookies that have earned the right to play like LB Denzel Perryman and CB Nate Hobbs respectively. These moves have paid off on defense and the offense is actually delivering on the theories of what they could be with Henry Ruggs drawing attention deep and Bryan Edwards being a must-cover all over the field as Hunter Renfrow is turning into what Cooper Kupp was before Cooper Kupp became Randy Moss. It all seems a little bit too perfect though, when Peyton Barber (a man averaging 3.5 yards per carry over his first four seasons) goes off for 100 yards as they run out the clock in Miami against the Tua-less Dolphins. The Broncos may have benefit from playing the Jets, Giants and Jags (a combined 0-9) but, the offense remains effective enough and the defense has allowed 8.7 PPG so I'm still high on this team despite the loss of WR K.J. Hamler to a torn ACL and their upcoming true test versus the Ravens in rookie WR Rashod Bateman's likely debut. 

Those teams all seem at least somewhat legitimate with reasons to doubt they'll last that don't overshadow the magic of what they're accomplishing thus far. The one team I refuse to be sold on are the Panthers, beating the Jets, Saints minus a ton of coaches and the Texans minus Tyrod Taylor. I'm not going to badmouth the fluke 3-0 start any further than that as at the end of the day, they are still 3-0. No, the problem with this team lies in the inevitable regression ahead now without breakout rookie CB Jaycee Horn (on IR) and RB Christian McCaffrey (out indefinitely with a bad hamstring from carrying this offense the past four years). Those losses would seem to be too much to bare as Sam Darnold has yet to succeed without a star running back to keep things close and the Jeremy Chinn-Shaq Thompson-Brian Burns trio is great but that defense is absolutely a cornerback short from playoff contention minus the #8 overall pick. I suppose Richard Sherman is just one call away but, is that even a call worth making at this point? It's not like the 49ers were rushing to their former pro-bowler when Jason Verrett's injury seemingly left them with zero great defensive backs. Hell, the Chiefs think that Josh Gordon is a wiser investment at this point and they've been trotting out multiple former draft busts (relative to their expectations from the teams that drafted them) in Mike Hughes and DeAndre Baker, getting torched to the tune of a 1-2 record (last in the super competitive AFC West) in the process.

David Eulitt/Getty Images
Despite a breakthrough fantasy performance, RB Clyde Edwards-Helaire again had a costly fumble in another close Kansas City loss.

Undefeated teams are still thriving in the Bro League as well. Both Team ChowHounds and Scott's Many Endeavors remain unbeaten, taking down two 1-1 teams that never put up any serious threat. Nick's effort was greatly aided by A.J. Brown leaving in the first quarter with a bad hamstring and Z was able to overcome a second consecutive pedestrian showing by Tyreek Hill (perhaps the addition of Josh Gordon opens things up for Hill going forward?), downing Alec in the process. Ryan also failed to squish together the two extremes of the standings with a trio of reliable vets failing to crack double-digit showings (Julio Jones, Amari Cooper & Rob Gronkowski) as Darrin rode the hot hands of Brandin Cooks, Adam Thielen and always-hot Derrick Henry to a very convincing 3-0 start. The only fantasy player with a legitimate gripe this week is Nathaniel Hoefs. He would have at least walked away with the moral victory of a hypothetical win if CMac weren't sidelined by halftime Thursday night. Unfortunately, this week-to-week injury was the first indicator that this simply would not be Nate's week. Cole came to this week DETERMINED for his first win, desperate enough to start Derpy Daniel Jones as a streaming option against the porous Atlanta defense. The Giants may have stunk up the joint but, Cole probably lit one up in celebration after seeing Big Ben shovel the ball Najee Harris's way 18 times, completing 14 for 102 yards. My favorite part of Andy's seemingly annual waiver wire pickup of James White this season was his one touch before needing to be carted off. Classic instant waiver-to-starter move by the fantasy football gods. DeShawn Wynn is laughing at me somewhere and Sneen is too, as the benefactor of the ill-advised lineup changes made in week three by Todd's Plan. The Machine is 1-2 and my team is beginning to look very sandwich-y with keeper Antonio Gibson not being nearly the factor in Washington's passing game that Austin Ekeler (who I let go of, despite being a 12th? rounder) has been for LA and Sneen's Machine.

We're still a couple of weeks away from byes as they start later than ever before in week 6 so all 32 teams remain in action after three incredibly action-packed weekends already. Week 3's slate looked pretty underwhelming and there was some BAD football but, even the bad football was still close and interesting (see: that awful Giants-Falcons game). By comparison, week 4 looks great with no ignorable duds after the noon slate. In the Bro League, two 1-2 teams look for the defibrillator to reignite the positive charges they felt on draft night as Cole and I look to take down the two 3-0s, Nick and Darrin. Cole's instant regret in benching Josh Allen last week likely signifies his spot in the lineup going forward even though Cole is now 1-0 with Jones. Me? I'm just sort of hoping Elijah Mitchell comes back to clear up my backfield weakness and maybe the Titans keep Tannehill's arm active instead of resorting to running Derrick Henry 40 times like fatigue just doesn't exist for dudes built like the MVP candidate. What happens between Alec and Hoefs is anybody's guess as both A.J. Brown and Christian McCaffrey will likely miss this week with injured strings of ham. No word on how their steaks or porkchops are doing but, I'm sure Alec and Nate are okay with these two studs missing one game as opposed to putting up duds and risking further meat puns. Finally, we have a matchup of last season's championship between the 1-2 Take Mahomes Country Roads and the 1-2 Sneen Machine. Neither owner is outright elated by their sub-.500 squads thus far and despite a miraculous 16.2-point showing from veteran WR Cordarrelle Patterson in the RB-slot for the first time ever, Sneen would much rather see the reliable Dalvin Cook alongside Ekeler in his lineup against Patrick Mahomes and company. The 2020 championship matchup may actually be a long-term loser-leaves-town matchup in the grand scheme of things. Every week matters in fantasy football, even the ones where one just says "Sure, I'll go Daniel Jones, James White, Cordarrelle Patterson, etc." so tread carefully as the waiver wire gains importance with each body that gets carted off before the byes. The wind of autumn makes the water choppier round these parts.

Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports
Don't forget the Jacoby Brissett revenge game against the 0-3 Colts on this weekend's exhilarating schedule of games, Nick won't!

Scoring Leaders

QB

Tom Brady 85.48 (Sneen)

Kyler Murray 85.2 (Hoefs)

Patrick Mahomes 80.2 (Ryan)

Lamar Jackson 69.54 (Nick)

Russell Wilson 67 (Andy)

Aaron Rodgers 47.16 (Darrin)

Josh Allen 33.86 (Cole)

Joe Burrow 28.92 (Alec)

Derek Carr 21.24 (Alec)

Daniel Jones 16.54 (Cole)

RB

Derrick Henry 77.8 (Darrin)

Aaron Jones 63.3 (Ryan)

Christian McCaffrey 58.4 (Hoefs)

Austin Ekeler 56.9 (Sneen)

Najee Harris 53.2 (Cole)

Ezekiel Elliott 50.2 (Nick)

Nick Chubb 47.3 (Ryan)

Alvin Kamara 45.9 (Darrin)

Joe Mixon 43.5 (Nick)

Antonio Gibson 38.4 (Andy)

Dalvin Cook 37.2 (Sneen)

David Montgomery 37.2 (Alec)

Jonathan Taylor 32.1 (Alec)

Chris Carson 31.3 (Nick)

Saquon Barkley 25.1 (Cole)

Damien Harris 25.1 (Andy)

Alexander Mattison 23.1 (Hoefs)

Miles Sanders 17.3 (Nick)

Josh Jacobs 17 (Darrin)

Cordarrelle Patterson 16.2 (Sneen)

Clyde Edwards-Helaire 12.8 (Hoefs)

D'Andre Swift 11.8 (Cole)

Kenyan Drake 10.5 (Ryan)

James Robinson 8.4 (Ryan)

Raheem Mostert 2 (Cole)

James White 0.6 (Andy)

WR

Cooper Kupp 91.2 (Hoefs)

Adam Thielen 63.1 (Darrin)

Davante Adams 61.9 (Cole)

Keenan Allen 52.8 (Andy)

Tyreek Hill 52.7 (Nick)

CeeDee Lamb 50.3 (Hoefs)

DK Metcalf 50 (Alec)

Amari Cooper 49.9 (Ryan)

Terry McLaurin 48.1 (Nick)

DeAndre Hopkins 46.8 (Darrin)

Stefon Diggs 44.1 (Hoefs)

Brandin Cooks 43.5 (Darrin)

Calvin Ridley 43.5 (Andy)

Justin Jefferson 39.34 (Alec)

Mike Williams 33.2 (Sneen)

Robert Woods 31.2 (Sneen)

Mike Evans 29.9 (Andy)

Allen Robinson 24.6 (Sneen)

A.J. Brown 22.5 (Alec)

D.J. Chark 16.8 (Cole)

Chris Godwin 16.2 (Alec)

Tee Higgins 16 (Cole)

D.J. Moore 15.4 (Sneen)

Julio Jones 13.6 (Ryan)

Ja'Marr Chase 13.4 (Sneen)

Michael Pittman Jr. 13.3 (Ryan)

Courtland Sutton 8.7 (Cole)

Tyler Lockett 7.1 (Andy)

DeVonta Smith 3.6 (Ryan)

TE

Travis Kelce 66.9 (Andy)

T.J. Hockenson 49.3 (Alec)

Darren Waller 48.4 (Hoefs)

Logan Thomas 33.7 (Cole)

George Kittle 32.6 (Darrin)

Mark Andrews 31.6 (Sneen)

Noah Fant 29 (Nick)

Kyle Pitts 19.4 (Ryan)

Rob Gronkowski 9.5 (Ryan)

K

Brandon McManus 38 (Alec)

Justin Tucker 34 (Sneen)

Tyler Bass 29 (Cole)

Harrison Butker 21 (Darrin)

Matt Gay 20 (Nick)

Younghoe Koo 17 (Hoefs)

Jason Sanders 16 (Andy)

Daniel Carlson 13 (Ryan)

Greg Zuerlein 10 (Nick)

Josh Lambo 1 (Ryan)

DF

Denver Broncos 35 (Andy)

New Orleans Saints 24 (Ryan)

Cleveland Browns 23 (Nick)

Pittsburgh Steelers 16 (Hoefs)

Arizona Cardinals 15 (Cole)

Los Angeles Rams 14 (Cole)

Tampa Bay Buccaneers 13 (Alec)

Carolina Panthers 10 (Darrin)

San Francisco 49ers 7 (Nick)

Baltimore Ravens 4 (Sneen)

Indianapolis Colts 3 (Ryan)

Washington Football Team 3 (Darrin)

Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose)

Scott's Many Endeavors 3-0

Yeezy Taught Me 2-1

Team ChowHounds 2-1

SNEEN MACHINE 1-2

Todd's Plan 1-2

Take Mahomes Country Roads 1-2

Tax Paying Homeowner 1-2

Colieveland 96ers 1-2

WRBL Week 2, 2021

Wisconsin Rapids Bro League

Week Two

Our Seventh Official Season of blaming Cole Walters for spending all my money on DraftKings

Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks)

Steven Nett Division

Scott's Many Endeavors (Nick Zurawski) 2-0 W2

Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 2-0 W3

Yeezy Taught Me (Nathaniel Hoefs) 1-1 L1

Todd's Plan (Andy Todd) 1-1 W1

Tanner Glaza Division

Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 1-1 L1

Take Mahomes Country Roads (Ryan Dougherty) 1-1 W1

SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 0-2 L2

Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 0-2 L2

Week Two Final Scores

NICK defeats SNEEN 134.06-122.44

DARRIN defeats HOEFS 148.3-146.1

RYAN defeats COLE 118.12-106.06

ANDY defeats ALEC 139.52-114.88

Heroes of the Week: RB Derrick Henry (47.7), RB Aaron Jones (41.5), WR Cooper Kupp (36.8)

Waiver Wonders: QB Daniel Jones (29.46), QB Kirk Cousins (25.26), WR Rondale Moore (24.4)

What-if of the Week: Sneen could have beaten Nick by .08 with WR Mike Williams (22.1) in his lineup over WR Allen Robinson (10.4).

USA TODAY Sports
Hero of the Week: RB Derrick Henry (Team ChowHounds)

Upcoming Week 3 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)

Alec v. Nick

Ryan v. Darrin

Sneen v. Andy

Hoefs v. Cole

Thursday Night Football: Carolina @ Houston 7:20 PM

Sunday NOON: Washington @ Buffalo

Chicago @ Cleveland

Baltimore @ Detroit

Indianapolis @ Tennessee

LA Chargers @ Kansas City

New Orleans @ New England

Atlanta @ NY Giants

Cincinnati @ Pittsburgh

Arizona @ Jacksonville

3:05 PM: NY Jets @ Denver

Miami @ Las Vegas

3:25 PM: Tampa Bay @ LA Rams

Seattle @ Minnesota

Sunday Night Football: Green Bay @ San Francisco 7:20 PM 

Monday Night Football: Philadelphia @ Dallas 7:15 PM

Bro...

I reserve the right to rant or ramble about another fantasy league once per season and unbelievably, in week two, we have reached that time. (It's my blog so just play along here) After the pitiful Packer performance in Florida against the Saints, it was pretty much universally accepted that Aaron Rodgers and the crew would be out for blood and a big bounce-back against the NFC North's favorite punching bag, the Detroit Lions. I knew that going into my father and I's TD-only match against the defending champion (WHO oh by the way, prevented us from winning a fourth title in a row last season by taking the Colts defense at our league's midseason draft two picks before us and besting our record by HALF A GAME) and his trio of cheeseheads that we'd need everybody to show up in a major way. Of course, the final score of this all-timer of an early season showdown would take some time to develop with 7/9 starters from our Todd's Tornados kicking their games off after 3 PM CT (not literally though because could you imagine Derrick Henry kicking?) and our opponent, Doc's Jocks had 5/9 starters playing in primetime. Knowing he had Mike Evans and the Green Bay Triage oncoming after a riveting set of noon games knotted us up at 0-0, I stated out loud "if we're going to win this week, we need a barrage of 5 or 6 touchdowns before Sunday Night Football AT LEAST". In a league where 40 points is the standard for a good week, that seems unlikely to come from one's lineup without the SNF QB in action yet (Patrick Mahomes). Alas, there's a reason we've been as successful as we have the past half-decade and that's because our Todd's Tornados are lucky enough to be STACKED and the fellas on the field outdid what I asked of them by scoring 7 touchdowns and tacked on ten from Matt Prater, that included a massive 62-yard shot before halftime AND the eventual game-winner versus Minnesota. Yeah, Mike Evans scored two cheap inside-the-5 touchdowns but I can't complain about that because I have him in another league (more on that later). 52-12 going into SNF and I didn't say anything about "maybe we need 4 from Mahomes" even though it was certainly in play that he needed to have a classic Mahom-ian type showcase on NBC. The Jocks immediately reminded us of their evil presence (he does still hold the most titles won in the 41-year history of this 8-team league with FOURTEEN) by letting the second Lamar Jackson pass errantly drift into the welcoming hands of Tyrann "Honey Badger" Mathieu, a man that should lose his nickname because if honey badger truly didn't care like the classic YouTube video taught us, he would have stepped out at the 1. The Mathieu pick-six in addition to K Justin Tucker's 6 points doubled the Jocks up to 24 with three players remaining and Mahomes' three touchdown passes gave us an additional 18, putting the Tornados at SEVENTY points, a truly remarkable week no matter the talent of the squad at hand. 70-24 looked pretty damn good headed into Monday, ESPN had us at an 87% chance of winning and I said "thank you, ESPN's math department for the quality math-ing". 

Aaron Rodgers - 24 points, 4 touchdown passes, he doesn't even want to be here anymore

Aaron Jones - 24 points, 3 touchdown catches, 1 touchdown run. I thought NFL teams were going to stop re-upping their veteran running backs?

Davante Adams - Great night, 0 points, dodged that train and it didn't. even. matter.

Final... 

Since 1980, 70 is the highest-scoring week for any losing team in the Pittsville Football League's history.

The Pack won 35-17 and the Jocks won 72-70. Glancing through the PFL record books, Father Todd found this juicy tidbit... the top-4 highest combined point totals between opponents in PFL history have all had us at the losing end of said battles.

Talk about poor timing, the Tornados averaged 52 points in their four losses in the highest scoring matches ever.

Thankfully, I was traveling back from La Crosse while all that went down so I didn't have to cuss out Father Todd's lifelong NFL team in front of him every time they did something good. I also visited the river and didn't fall or jump in so, all-in-all a pretty good and certainly memorable weekend that only gives the PFL more added juice as our Week 9 rematch against the Jocks of course takes place during a Chiefs-Packers game during or after our midseason meeting. We might just sell our 1st rounder in 2022 for somebody with a favorable matchup that week, who knows with the hijinks taking place in that league!? 

Apparently, I've just been penalized 15 yards on the ensuing kickoff for even mentioning the word "hijinks" as the NFL continues to crack down on emotion by policing celebrations with their re-upped taunting rules.  I can see why they wanted to review pass interference calls in 2019 because of the Saints-Rams result a year prior and the fact that the yardage attached to a DPI is substantial compared to that of a false start. I can even see why they go as hard as they do on targeting calls (player safety concerns) and roughing the passer, a penalty they have 100% over-officiated with recently that still ultimately benefits the game by keeping the most important player on the field healthy. What exactly is accomplished by legislating a defensive back waving incomplete on an incomplete pass out of the game? Nothing. The highlight of last year's beatdown of a Super Bowl was Antoine Winfield Jr. giving a revenge peace sign to Tyreek Hill's grill less than two months after getting the reverse treatment from the overconfident Chiefs wideout. Much like Clyde Edwards-Helaire on Sunday night, the NFL is fumbling the bag on this one. 

Yes, despite Pat Mahomes' good showing, Kansas City ultimately fell victim to Lamar Jackson's heroic one-man show in Baltimore as the field of undefeated teams is already down to 7 after just two games. The Buccaneers and Rams we might have all seen coming but, Denver, Carolina, Arizona, San Francisco and the Las Vegas Raiders are a whole other story. Sure, I boldly took the Broncos to win the AFC West this offseason at 12-5 but there's a reason that move would have been considered BOLD had I chosen to make it public. On the flip side of that, I don't see any of the Panthers, Cardinals, Niners or Grudens making it past week 18. It seems as though there are still some very real pretenders hanging around at 2-0 and some fake non-contenders sitting solemnly at 0-2. Whom amongst the Colts, Jets, Jaguars, Giants, Vikings, Lions or Falcons ends up in the wildcard chase at least? I'd put money on Minnesota despite some shitty defense due to temporary early season injuries and continued kicker woes that have plagued the land of 10,000 lakes since I was born. Maybe they owe Dan Bailey a call before Mike Zimmer loses his job.

Beth A. Keiser/AP
Despite being the most cursed of kicks in Viking lore, Gary Anderson was still one hell of a kicker compared to either Greg Joseph or Blair Walsh.

Apparently fantasy football points were just flying all over the place this week as the WRBL saw our first week with every team scoring 100 or higher of the 2021 season and possibly ever(? somebody else look this one up). Not only that but we all came close in our games' margins of defeat as well. Andy's Todd's Plan took the easiest path possible by riding his annual All-Pro Tight End (Travis Kelce, 23.9 points) to a victory over Alec's Tax Paying Homeowner and his soon-to-be annual All-Pro Tight End (T.J. Hockenson, 20.6) in a fairly back-and-forth match that got real lopsided during the second half of the late afternoon games thanks to the two aforementioned Mike Evans cheapie TDs and a touchdown from Calvin Ridley (of Todd's Tornado fame) as well. The other three matches stayed vibing with the back-and-forth as Sneen's Machine fell to 0-2 after Sunday night thanks to Lamar Jackson's favorite singer being Carrie Underwood, favorite announcer duo remaining Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth and his favorite thing to do (after research and pooping) being collecting dubs while playing truly chaotic football at home. Nick didn't exactly get another "Tyreekening" but, Lamar (32.26) carried the load (without dumping it this go around as far as we know) as Mark Andrews, Justin Tucker and the Ravens D/ST combined for only 17.7 as the Machine sputtered to a halt. The defending champ is now 0-2 and takes on 1-1 Todd's Plan as we continue our gentlemen's rivalry so, best of luck to you on your attempt at glorious redemption on the virtual gridiron this week, cabin man. 1-1 Alec faces 2-0 Nick as Homeowner and Teamowner Mr. Swanson might be thinking about other options at QB after Joe Burrow nearly threw up a total dud (he had negative points until the fourth quarter) against the questionable Bear secondary.

The other two games were decided during Monday Night's Packer beatdown of the "Hey! at least we have those three first round picks in 2022!" Lions. Firstly,  Derrick Henry's heroic performance still wasn't enough for Darrin's ChowHounds going in to MNF as the 1-0 vs. 1-0 matchup versus Nathaniel needed some extra flavoring to the tune of 24.6 points and a true rally from league legend Aaron Rodgers. Despite Hoefs getting second for points this week (gee, why does this sound familiar?), the second-year owner came in second in a two-man race during this, the second week with A-Rod dropping a cool 26.8 when he easily could have just handed one of those touchdowns off to Aaron Jones and saved Yeezy Taught Me and I both some headaches at the 1-1 line of mediocrity. Finally, Take Mahomes Country Roads took all the backroads and sneaked into a win with vigorous, borderline illegal speeds as Mahomes himself and Week 2 Hero Aaron Jones rallied for 65.52 of the 118.12 put up by Ryan in his victory over Cole, a man that had the lead and more players (D'Andre Swift + Davante Adams) going into Monday night and still lost because the Aaron Jones game was simply that fucking fantastic for fantasy. Bring out the sombreros as Nathan looks to give Cole the hat trick of three losses to kick off the 2021 WRBL season next week and Darrin takes on son Ryan as Thee Wisconsin ChowHounds try to continue their hot streak to 3-0 despite an injury to Jarvis Landry and the continued interruptions in Josh Jacobs' development after his rookie season went so well.

The NFL has a sneaky interesting/weird game coming up on Thursday with way-too-early MVP candidate Sam Darnold trying to take his team to 3-0 as the Panthers might just have that fate fall to them with an overmatched rookie Davis Mills potentially leading the Texans' charge with Tyrod Taylor injured again. My only fantasy advice for this game is that Christian McCaffrey should probably be in your lineup... call it a hunch. Another rookie quarterback MAY be seeing his first start in the NFL, though I actually would not be stunned to see the Bears pull Nick Foles out of professional clipboard holding to protect their long-term investment in Justin Fields with Andy Dalton possibly inactive due to his own injury. Did somebody say an injury was going to force a probably undercooked QB into starting on Sunday? Oh yeah, Carson Wentz's ankles are sleeping with the fishes and now second-year pro Jacob Eason will probably get a significant amount of practice time in with the first team as the 0-2 Colts look to tighten up the Titans' division, in which Tennessee is 1-1 following their dramatic OT win in Seattle. With all of that in mind, it seems more likely that the game to watch is Chiefs-Chargers, not that there was any doubt as that is the only noon game jumping out at me in a significant matter (and nothing about that Saints-Patriots game is going to confirm anything I've seen from either of those two 9-8 looking ass teams). Buccaneers-Rams has the potential to be an NFC Championship preview in the late window and Packers-49ers is an NFC Championship rematch of only two years ago that might feature somebody John Lynch finds on the street at 6:30 burst through Green Bay's linebackers for 150 yards by 10:30. Capping off the week are the 1-1 Eagles at the 1-1 Cowboys as the tale of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hurts face off against Defensive End Micah Parsons, the most frightening cheat code unlocked after an immediate position change from linebacker. I'm going to try to unlock my own cheat codes this week by getting Pete Carroll to throw Russell Wilson in the backfield as a Running Back more often (Geno Smith needs the reps!) and then maybe Justin Fields can torch the Browns secondary like Mahomes and Tyrod have done so far.

Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports
Tyrod Taylor's success on the field has made me wonder if he's one of the biggest career what-if guys of the years we've been doing fantasy football.

Scoring Leaders

QB

Kyler Murray 66.66 (Hoefs)

Patrick Mahomes 57.3 (Ryan)

Tom Brady 56.8 (Sneen)

Russell Wilson 50.38 (Andy)

Lamar Jackson 50.26 (Nick)

Josh Allen 33.86 (Cole)

Joe Burrow 28.92 (Alec)

Aaron Rodgers 28.12 (Darrin)

RB

Derrick Henry 58.4 (Darrin)

Christian McCaffrey 52.4 (Hoefs)

Aaron Jones 45.7 (Ryan)

Nick Chubb 38.9 (Ryan)

Dalvin Cook 37.2 (Sneen)

Austin Ekeler 34.2 (Sneen)

Joe Mixon 33.1 (Nick)

David Montgomery 29.7 (Alec)

Damien Harris 25.1 (Andy)

Alvin Kamara 25.1 (Darrin)

Najee Harris 25 (Cole)

Jonathan Taylor 23.9 (Alec)

Ezekiel Elliott 23.6 (Nick)

Antonio Gibson 21 (Andy)

Miles Sanders 17.3 (Nick)

Josh Jacobs 17 (Darrin)

Chris Carson 15.1 (Nick)

Clyde Edwards-Helaire 12.8 (Hoefs)

D'Andre Swift 11.8 (Cole)

Kenyan Drake 10.5 (Ryan)

James Robinson 8.4 (Ryan)

Saquon Barkley 3.7 (Cole)

Raheem Mostert 2 (Cole)

WR

Cooper Kupp 60.6 (Hoefs)

Adam Thielen 46.1 (Darrin)

Amari Cooper 44.3 (Ryan)

Tyreek Hill 43 (Nick)

DeAndre Hopkins 41.7 (Darrin)

CeeDee Lamb 40.8 (Hoefs)

Terry McLaurin 37.9 (Nick)

Keenan Allen 33.8 (Andy)

Stefon Diggs 31.9 (Hoefs)

Davante Adams 30.7 (Cole)

Mike Evans 29.9 (Andy)

Calvin Ridley 29.4 (Andy)

DK Metcalf 27.3 (Alec)

Robert Woods 24.4 (Sneen)

Brandin Cooks 22.8 (Darrin)

A.J. Brown 22.2 (Alec)

Allen Robinson 19.9 (Sneen)

Chris Godwin 16.2 (Alec)

Tee Higgins 16 (Cole)

D.J. Moore 15.4 (Sneen)

Ja'Marr Chase 13.4 (Sneen)

Justin Jefferson 12.54 (Alec)

Julio Jones 5.9 (Ryan)

DeVonta Smith 3.6 (Ryan)

D.J. Chark 2.9 (Cole)

TE

Travis Kelce 49.5 (Andy)

T.J. Hockenson 46.3 (Alec)

Darren Waller 38 (Hoefs)

Noah Fant 25.5 (Nick)

Logan Thomas 21.5 (Cole)

Kyle Pitts 19.4 (Ryan)

Mark Andrews 15.7 (Sneen)

George Kittle 15.5 (Darrin)

K

Brandon McManus 22 (Alec)

Justin Tucker 18 (Sneen)

Tyler Bass 15 (Cole)

Harrison Butker 15 (Darrin)

Younghoe Koo 11 (Hoefs)

Greg Zuerlein 10 (Nick)

Matt Gay 9 (Nick)

Jason Sanders 6 (Andy)

Josh Lambo 1 (Ryan)

DF

Denver Broncos 18 (Andy)

Tampa Bay Buccaneers 16 (Alec)

Los Angeles Rams 14 (Cole)

Pittsburgh Steelers 12 (Hoefs)

San Francisco 49ers 7 (Nick)

Cleveland Browns 5 (Nick)

New Orleans Saints 5 (Ryan)

Indianapolis Colts 3 (Ryan)

Washington Football Team 3 (Darrin)

Baltimore Ravens -1 (Sneen)

Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose)

Yeezy Taught Me 2-0

Scott's Many Endeavors 2-0

Team ChowHounds 1-1

Todd's Plan 1-1

Tax Paying Homeowner 1-1

Take Mahomes Country Roads 1-1

SNEEN MACHINE 0-2

Colieveland 96ers 0-2

WRBL Week 1, 2021

 Wisconsin Rapids Bro League

Week One 

Our Seventh Official Season of blaming Cole Walters for Certified Lover Boy

Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks)

Steven Nett Division

Yeezy Taught Me (Nathaniel Hoefs) 1-0 W1

Scott's Many Endeavors (Nick Zurawski) 1-0 W1

Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 1-0 W2

Todd's Plan (Andy Todd) 0-1 L2

Tanner Glaza Division

Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 1-0 W1

Take Mahomes Country Roads (Ryan Dougherty) 0-1 L1

SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 0-1 L1

Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 0-1 L1

Week One Final Scores

HOEFS defeats RYAN 180.06-124.88

ALEC defeats SNEEN 130.18-111.56

NICK defeats ANDY 142.7-123.66

DARRIN defeats COLE 124.42-70.4

Heroes of the Week: WR Amari Cooper (38.9), WR Tyreek Hill (37.1), QB Kyler Murray (33.56)

Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

Hero of the Week: WR Amari Cooper (Take Mahomes Country Roads)

Waiver Wonders: TE Rob Gronkowski (29), QB Jared Goff (28.92), QB Jalen Hurts (28.76)

What-if of the Week: Starting WR Tyler Lockett (26.0) over WR Mike Evans (5.4) would have given Andy a 1.56-point deficit win over Nick after QB Lamar Jackson's lost fumble cost him 2 points in overtime on Monday Night Football.

ESPN
The weekly internal debate I will have between Lockett (above) and Evans is going exactly as expected.

Upcoming Week 2 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)

Alec v. Andy

Sneen v. Nick

Ryan v. Cole

Darrin v. Hoefs

Thursday Night Football: NY Giants @ Washington 7:20 PM

Sunday NOON: Cincinnati @ Chicago

Houston @ Cleveland

LA Rams @ Indianapolis

Buffalo @ Miami

New England @ NY Jets

San Francisco @ Philadelphia

Las Vegas @ Pittsburgh

New Orleans @ Carolina

Denver @ Jacksonville

3:05 PM: Minnesota @ Arizona

Atlanta @ Tampa Bay

3:25 PM: Dallas @ LA Chargers

Tennessee @ Seattle

Sunday Night Football: Kansas City @ Baltimore

Monday Night Football: Detroit @ Green Bay

Bro...

Overreactions here! Get your overreactions here! Hot off the presses! Week one of the NFL season sees a few shocking results and nine months of fantasy football draft prep and expectations get thrown out the window based on 60 minutes of in-game action. 2021 is no different. Though COVID is far from over, it was simultaneously refreshing and odd to see stadiums return to their full capacity. Even more bizarre was to hear and see many green open seats at this past weekend's Packers-Saints game. Moved to neutral Jacksonville as a result of Hurricane Ida, this game might just be THE example of week one overreaction case studies from here on out. The Packers put up a total dud of a performance despite nearly perfect health (LT David Bakhtiari is still recovering from his torn ACL) while New Orleans opened up their post-Drew Brees era with a can of whoop ass in Florida, winning 38-3 without WR Michael Thomas, DL David Onyemata and CB Bradley Roby. How the fantasy football values of people like Aaron Jones, Aaron Rodgers and whoever Juwan Johnson is are tilted going into week two should be fascinating.

Time will tell if LASIK Jameis is the greatest redemption story of the 2021 season.

In other leaguewide surprises, we saw the Cardinals blow up Tennessee's offensive line and overall gameplan as Kyler Murray begins to threaten Patrick Mahomes' QB1 status. The Falcons looked dead on arrival in a 6-32 loss to mid-tier Philly. It's pretty amazing how the Julio Jones deal was a lose-lose for both sides, am I right? Also, swapping in backup quarterbacks for parts of an already successful series seems to be the wave of the future if Justin Fields, Trey Lance, Jacoby Brissett and Marcus Mariota's usages are any indication. Previous seasons indicate to us that these are the most likely fluky, "reactionary" takeaways from 2021's opening weekend. If these are further implied by the results of week two, then that's when those flukes start to become actual trends or even facts. 

The Falcons' horrible week one can be perfectly summarized by this photo of OL Jalen Mayfield (who received a 1.4/100 pass-blocking grade from Pro Football Focus for this game) looking at his QB on the ground.

The 2021 Wisconsin Rapids Bro League Draft returned to it's original headquarters, the Buffalo Wild Wings of Stevens Point, Wisconsin. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank them and our waitress for having the draft supplies ready for us and for not screwing me out of a fried pickle order that I never made. It was a wonderful time spent with wonderful people, even if league personnel underwent a change. Sadly after six official seasons and two championship runs, Scott Aschebrook is taking an indefinite leave of absence from the Bro League so that he can party it up with Tanner Glaza across the United States. He also got married so congratulations? I wasn't invited so it's not really my place to congratulate him when I've already had to do that after multiple fantasy football seasons while resisting the urge to vomit. This move actually helps the Bro League cut back down to eight teams after last season's addition of Nathaniel Hoefs made it difficult to track who exactly was winning and losing when the team on bye needed to finish in the top 4 for points in a given week in order to accrue a win. At the draft table, we replaced Scott with our very own draft expert ala Mel Kiper Jr. in a work friend of Darrin's that seemed oddly biased as he conspired with Thee ChowHounds' ownership on a pick-by-pick basis. Considering Darrin has yet to win anything in this league and the guy was a nice, knowledgeable sports fan and a welcome addition to our draft table, we'll allow it. 

The first week of WRBL action for 2021 saw Thee ChowHounds take advantage of rival Cole Walters' absolute bust of a lineup, trouncing the 96ers 124.42-70.4. Look at the positives Cole, Tyler Bass is tied for the league-lead in kicker points! Unlike THEE Ohio State (who lost to the Oregon Ducks on Saturday), THEE ChowHounds are now looking to make this type of win the expectation going forward as he takes on Nathan in week two. Nathan ended up dropping a massive 109.66 points MORE than Cole and defeated this week's fourth-highest scorer Ryan by this week's largest margin between opponents. Unlike Cole having no skill players live up to their expectations, Hoefs got something big out of everyone even without Clyde Edwards-Helaire still not getting proper goal-line work. Darrin is banking on Nathan's team being too exhausted to put up a repeat performance while Ryan looks to avoid 0-2 at the hands of a rebounding 96er squad. 

Harry How/Getty Images
Cole's team received no help from WR Brandon Aiyuk's 0 targets due to a hamstring issue flaring up pregame against the Lions.

I never go into re-draft leagues (or in this case, leagues with one keeper or fewer) with any type of strategy and this season was no different as I let the strategy come to me with each pick. Once I kept RB Antonio Gibson, I decided to jump on the opportunity to draft a top-tier Tight End (Travis Kelce) as all the elite RBs were either kept or drafted by pick #5. After "Justin" Ekeler went, I fell out of love with the running backs available and decided to pull a Scott Aschebrook in honor of our fallen comrade and went batshit insane for wide receivers, taking five star wideouts along with the injured Michael Thomas before even bothering to look for a backfield mate for Gibson. That strategy looked more like "strategery" this weekend as I decided to play the Mike Evans and Tyler Lockett game, where fantasy owners have to guess which weeks they'll disappear and which three games they score multiple touchdowns and sure enough, I chose incorrectly. Mike Evans had three catches versus Dallas's lackluster defense and zero touchdowns in my lineup while Lockett put up a cool 4-100-2 line against Indy's maybe overhyped defense(?) on my bench. That infraction against my lineup made ALL of the difference once Lamar Jackson took a knee to send the Ravens-Raiders Monday Night game into overtime and then fumbled away Baltimore's one chance to win in overtime. If Lockett were in instead of Evans, I still would have lost the lead going into that extra quarter of football, ONLY TO THEN HAVE PULLED OFF THE MOST INSANE COMEBACK OF 2021 before the season has even really begun. I'll be looking to redeem myself against Alec and Nick will look to further bury 2020 WRBL Champ Tyler Sneen after his 0-1 start. Sneen's Machine needed some WD40 on Monday night with a combined 34-point showing out of TE Mark Andrews, K Justin Tucker and the Ravens defense. Alas, the Ravens were all out of stock and the machine still seems a bit rusty from a potential championship hangover. Alec's NFL team might not know what they're doing but he certainly did, taking a risk by starting QB Joe Burrow in an 8-team league that paid off with the victory over Sneen.

Week two is upon us as the picture we painted of the 2021 NFL season these past six-to-nine months only further muddies itself. For example, injuries are unpredictable and we already have a new starting quarterback on Thursday Night Football as a result of Ryan Fitzpatrick's hip subluxation (hello, Taylor Heinicke). Another injury that will change things more in fantasy than for the NFL team is RB Raheem Mostert going to the IR for 8 weeks for the 49ers. Cole Walters and San Fran will both need to adjust with whomever they see fit and the Eagles will look to exploit San Fran's other weakness (Cornerback) thanks to another injury (Jason Verrett's torn ACL). Seattle's offense seemed crisper and more mobile in their first game with new coordinator Shane Waldron than they ever did with Brian Schottenheimer, which is saying something because Russell Wilson was an MVP candidate for the first eight games last season. They'll look to continue their hot streak against the worrisome 0-1 Titans later on Sunday. Sunday night sees an epic matchup between MVP candidates as the Ravens look to bounce back against the Chiefs and Mahomes. There should be fantasy points and Drew Brees hair follicles' aplenty in that one. Then on Monday night, the Packers look to silence the overreactors from the nation's take factories with a (hopefully, for their sake) easy win against Detroit. I'm sure Peyton and Eli will keep us entertained in case of a blowout. Now, we just need to sell Disney on the Bro League Cast, coming soon to ESPN8: The Ocho.

When the Packers don't do the whole "play like your QB is a Hall of Famer" thing...

Scoring Leaders

QB

Kyler Murray 33.56 (Hoefs)

Patrick Mahomes 33.28 (Ryan)

Tom Brady 27.16 (Sneen)

Russell Wilson 27.06 (Andy)

Joe Burrow 18.64 (Alec)

Lamar Jackson 18 (Nick)

Josh Allen 17.2 (Cole)

Aaron Rodgers 1.32 (Darrin)

RB

Christian McCaffrey 27.7 (Hoefs)

Joe Mixon 25 (Nick)

Nick Chubb 22.1 (Ryan)

Dalvin Cook 20.4 (Sneen)

David Montgomery 18.8 (Alec)

Alvin Kamara 18.1 (Darrin)

Jonathan Taylor 17.6 (Alec)

Miles Sanders 17.3 (Nick)

Josh Jacobs 17 (Darrin)

Antonio Gibson 11.8 (Andy)

Austin Ekeler 11.7 (Sneen)

Damien Harris 11.7 (Andy)

Derrick Henry 10.7 (Darrin)

Clyde Edwards-Helaire 10.2 (Hoefs)

James Robinson 8.4 (Ryan)

Ezekiel Elliott 5.9 (Nick)

Najee Harris 5.9 (Cole)

Aaron Jones 4.2 (Ryan)

Saquon Barkley 3.7 (Cole)

Raheem Mostert 2 (Cole)

WR

Amari Cooper 38.9 (Ryan)

Tyreek Hill 37.1 (Nick)

Adam Thielen 30.2 (Darrin)

DeAndre Hopkins 26.3 (Darrin)

Cooper Kupp 23.8 (Hoefs)

CeeDee Lamb 23.4 (Hoefs)

Keenan Allen 19 (Andy)

DK Metcalf 16 (Alec)

Stefon Diggs 15.9 (Hoefs)

D.J. Moore 15.4 (Sneen)

A.J. Brown 14.9 (Alec)

Justin Jefferson 12.54 (Alec)

Robert Woods 12.4 (Sneen)

Davante Adams 10.6 (Cole)

Terry McLaurin 10.2 (Nick)

Calvin Ridley 10.1 (Andy)

Allen Robinson 9.5 (Sneen)

Julio Jones 5.9 (Ryan)

Mike Evans 5.4 (Andy)

TE

Darren Waller 26.5 (Hoefs)

T.J. Hockenson 25.7 (Alec)

Travis Kelce 25.6 (Andy)

Noah Fant 12.2 (Nick)

Logan Thomas 12 (Cole)

George Kittle 9.8 (Darrin)

Kyle Pitts 7.1 (Ryan)

Mark Andrews 5 (Sneen)

K

Tyler Bass 11 (Cole)

Justin Tucker 11 (Sneen)

Harrison Butker 10 (Darrin)

Greg Zuerlein 10 (Nick)

Brandon McManus 9 (Alec)

Younghoe Koo 6 (Hoefs)

Jason Sanders 6 (Andy)

Josh Lambo 2 (Ryan)

DF

Pittsburgh Steelers 13 (Hoefs)

Los Angeles Rams 8 (Cole)

Denver Broncos 7 (Andy)

San Francisco 49ers 7 (Nick)

Indianapolis Colts 3 (Ryan)

Washington Football Team 1 (Darrin)

Baltimore Ravens -1 (Sneen)

Tampa Bay Buccaneers -3 (Alec)

Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose)

Yeezy Taught Me 1-0

Scott's Many Endeavors 1-0

Tax Paying Homeowner 1-0

Take Mahomes Country Roads 1-0

Team ChowHounds 0-1

Todd's Plan 0-1

SNEEN MACHINE 0-1

Colieveland 96ers 0-1