(okay, the name could use some fine-tuning. WRFL (Wisconsin Rapids Fantasy League)? Bro League seems too generic to me. Maybe I'm overthinking this, but it's something to consider)
Week 1
Our 2nd semi-official season of blaming Cole Walters for all of life's hardships
Current Standings
Itchy Division
Columbia Lions (Nick Zurawski) 1-0 W1
Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds (Father Aschebrook) 1-0 W1
Team Moon (Evan Moon) 0-0-1 T1
Team Aschebrook (Scott Aschebrook) 0-0-1 T1
Sneen Machine (Tyler Sneen) 0-1 L2
Scratchy Division
Spider 2 Y Banana (Andy Todd) 1-0 W1
Team Silka (Alex Silka) 1-0 W1
Frick The Haters (Cole Walters) 0-1 L1
Team Tiffany (Josh Tiffany) 0-1 L1
Team Swanson (Alec Swanson) 0-1 L1
Current Standings
Itchy Division
Columbia Lions (Nick Zurawski) 1-0 W1
Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds (Father Aschebrook) 1-0 W1
Team Moon (Evan Moon) 0-0-1 T1
Team Aschebrook (Scott Aschebrook) 0-0-1 T1
Sneen Machine (Tyler Sneen) 0-1 L2
Scratchy Division
Spider 2 Y Banana (Andy Todd) 1-0 W1
Team Silka (Alex Silka) 1-0 W1
Frick The Haters (Cole Walters) 0-1 L1
Team Tiffany (Josh Tiffany) 0-1 L1
Team Swanson (Alec Swanson) 0-1 L1
Week One Final Scores
TODD 166 WALTERS 136
ASCHEBROOK SR. 122 TIFFANY 113
ASCHEBROOK JR. 80 MOON 80
SILKA 116 SWANSON 102
ZURAWSKI 157 SNEEN 132
Heroes of the Week: WR Julio Jones (Todd), TE Rob Gronkowski (Zurawski) & WR DeAndre Hopkins (Zurawski)
Zeros of the Week: K Adam Vinatieri (Swanson), WR Sammy Watkins (Aschebrook Sr.), WR DeSean Jackson (Tiffany)
Upcoming Week 2 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)
Team Swanson vs. Spider 2 Y Banana
Team Silka vs. Team Aschebrook
Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds vs. Columbia Lions
Team Tiffany vs, Frick The Haters
Team Moon vs. Sneen Machine
Thursday Game: Denver @ Kansas City 7:25 PM
Sunday: Houston @ Carolina NOON
San Francisco @ Pittsburgh NOON
Tampa Bay @ New Orleans NOON
Detroit @ Minnesota NOON
Arizona @ Chicago NOON
New England @ Buffalo NOON
San Diego @ Cincinnati NOON
Tennessee @ Cleveland NOON
Atlanta @ NY Giants NOON
St. Louis @ Washington NOON
Miami @ Jacksonville 3:05
Baltimore @ Oakland 3:05
Dallas @ Philadelphia 3:25
Seattle @ Green Bay 7:25
Monday: NY Jets @ Indianapolis 7:25
I'm not sure what this is called yet (something witty)
It has been 268 days (as I am typing this) since Ryan Tannehill graduated into a Ryan Tannemountain and led owner Nick Zurawski's Go Columbia, Screw Cal team to a win over Sneen Machine. Many things have changed in those 268 days, including the reinstatement of perennial All-Pro Running Back Adrian Peterson, a whole bunch of pointless discussion on gas laws and quite possibly the largest incoming group of fantasy-relevant rookies since... well, last year. The biggest earth-shattering change of the off-season, despite all those topics, was the tumultuous loss of three perfectly fine fantasy team owners (and Bak) and the last-second rush to replace them. Thankfully through the connections of Bro League commissioner Nick Zurawski and assistant Scott Aschebrook, the league was resurrected and even improved a tad by bumping up the league size to ten. Joining the league this season are Josh Tiffany, Alec Swanson, Evan Moon, Cole Walters-Hitler IV, Alex Silka and Darrin Aschebrook (Aschebrook Sr., Father Aschebrook, etc.). It's going to get good.
NOW! This year's draft was a doozy as we were not even sure who would show up, be available or even slightly aware as to who all of the team owners might be (at least, I wasn't) and it wasn't until the very last minute that all ten team owners were huddled in front of a computer, set to make their picks. Why not have an actual gathering at Buffalo Wild Wings like last season? Cole Walters. I was not aware until what I had assumed was going to be the evening of the draft that the wings & picks would not happen and when I found out, I took off my Vincent Jackson jersey and joined a random ESPN league to feed my addiction to this fake sport of real players and sometimes cash. Despite all the chaos, the online draft was still alive in trash talk and general league discussions one would come to expect (trades, why Cole Walters is the worst, league trophy possibilities).
Week one saw Andy Todd with an incredible comeback win over Cole thanks to two trade acquisitions the day before the season started (Julio Jones & Carlos Hyde), Rapmaster Nicky Z return to dominance as he scored the second-highest point total against Sneen and his Machine, a very solid showing from nearly everyone on Team Silka as Tyler Eifert was the only player to excel on Ron Swanson's lost nephew's team, Aschebrook Sr. winning thanks to an injury to Josh's receiver DeSean Jackson and of course, a tie. Wait... A tie in week one? Yes, a tie in week one between the two lowest scoring teams! That should almost be illegal, but after reviewing the rulebook, it isn't. The only match-up that made me scratch my head at the end of the weekend was Team Aschebrook and Team Moon both scoring eighty points thanks to a garbage-time catch from Viking (and Team Moon) WR Charles Johnson. Fantasy football is pretty bizarre sometimes.
Trades made before Week 1: Scott traded RB Carlos Hyde & WR Demayius Thomas to Andy for RB Jamaal Charles & WR Golden Tate.
Scott traded RB Adrian Peterson, WR Brandon Marshall & TE Greg Olsen to Moon for RB Arian Foster, WR Julio Jones & TE Dwayne Allen
Scott traded WR Julio Jones to Andy for WR Demaryius Thomas
Trade made after Week 1: Scott traded WR's A.J. Green, Demaryius Thomas, Larry Fitzgerald & Terrance Williams to Alec for RB Marshawn Lynch & WR Dez Bryant (Alec simultaneously released WR Brian Quick and TE Julius Thomas)
Scoring Leaders
QB
Tom Brady 27 (TODD)
Aaron Rodgers 22 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Ben Roethlisberger 18 (WALTERS)
Andrew Luck 17 (ZURAWSKI)
Drew Brees 16 (SNEEN)
Matt Ryan 15 (SWANSON)
Russell Wilson 15 (SILKA)
Sam Bradford 13 (MOON)
Ryan Tannehill 11 (ASCHEBROOK)
Peyton Manning 5 (TIFFANY)
RB
Carlos Hyde 31 (TODD)
Matt Forte 27 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Chris Ivory 22 (WALTERS)
Danny Woodhead 22 (TIFFANY)
Jamaal Charles 20 (ASCHEBROOK)
Ameer Abdullah 19 (TODD)
Mark Ingram 19 (ZURAWSKI)
Jeremy Hill 18 (MOON)
Eddie Lacy 17 (SILKA)
Marshawn Lynch 17 (SWANSON)
DeMarco Murray 17 (SNEEN)
Alfred Morris 12 (SILKA)
LeSean McCoy 11 (WALTERS)
Jonathan Stewart 11 (TIFFANY)
Justin Forsett 9 (SNEEN)
Lamar Miller 8 (SWANSON)
Adrian Peterson 8 (MOON)
C.J. Anderson 7 (TIFFANY)
Melvin Gordon 7 (WALTERS)
Alfred Blue 5 (ZURAWSKI)
Frank Gore 5 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Darren McFadden 3 (ASCHEBROOK)
WR
Julio Jones 35 (TODD)
DeAndre Hopkins 32 (ZURAWSKI)
Keenan Allen 31 (TIFFANY)
Antonio Brown 28 (SNEEN)
Julian Edelman 20 (SILKA)
Jarvis Landry 20 (ZURAWSKI)
Jordan Matthews 20 (SNEEN)
T.Y. Hilton 15 (WALTERS)
Randall Cobb 14 (TODD)
Emmanuel Sanders 14 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Tyler Lockett 13 (SILKA)
Demaryius Thomas 13 (ASCHEBROOK)
Alshon Jeffery 12 (SWANSON)
Mike Wallace 12 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
A.J. Green 11 (ASCHEBROOK)
Jeremy Maclin 10 (SWANSON)
Davante Adams 9 (MOON)
Odell Beckham Jr. 9 (WALTERS)
Dez Bryant 9 (SWANSON)
Brandin Cooks 8 (TODD)
Andre Johnson 6 (ZURAWSKI)
Golden Tate 6 (ASCHEBROOK)
Calvin Johnson 5 (SILKA)
Charles Johnson 4 (MOON)
Allen Robinson 3 (MOON)
Steve Smith Sr. 3 (SNEEN)
TE
Rob Gronkowski 32 (ZURAWSKI)
Tyler Eifert 31 (SWANSON)
Travis Kelce 28 (WALTERS)
Jason Witten 26 (TIFFANY)
Jimmy Graham 17 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Martellus Bennett 16 (SNEEN)
Delanie Walker 13 (TODD)
Jordan Cameron 11 (SILKA)
Dwayne Allen 10 (ASCHEBROOK)
Greg Olsen 2 (MOON)
K
Matt Bryant 17 (WALTERS)
Steven Hauschka 11 (TIFFANY)
Justin Tucker 10 (SNEEN)
Dan Bailey 9 (MOON)
Mason Crosby 7 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Andrew Franks 5 (TODD)
Cody Parkey 5 (SILKA)
Stephen Gostkowski 4 (ASCHEBROOK)
Matt Prater 4 (ZURAWSKI)
Adam Vinatieri -1 (SWANSON)
DF
Carolina Panthers 22 (ZURAWSKI)
Denver Broncos 18 (SILKA)
Seattle Seahawks 18 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Miami Dolphins 14 (TODD)
New York Jets 14 (MOON)
St. Louis Rams 13 (SNEEN)
Buffalo Bills 9 (WALTERS)
Houston Texans 2 (ASCHEBROOK)
Arizona Cardinals 1 (SWANSON)
TODD 166 WALTERS 136
ASCHEBROOK SR. 122 TIFFANY 113
ASCHEBROOK JR. 80 MOON 80
SILKA 116 SWANSON 102
ZURAWSKI 157 SNEEN 132
 |
| Jason Getz - USA TODAY Hero of the Week: WR Julio Jones (Spider 2 Y Banana) |
Zeros of the Week: K Adam Vinatieri (Swanson), WR Sammy Watkins (Aschebrook Sr.), WR DeSean Jackson (Tiffany)
 |
| Brian Spurlock - USA TODAY Zero of the Week: K Adam Vinatieri (Team Swanson) |
Team Swanson vs. Spider 2 Y Banana
Team Silka vs. Team Aschebrook
Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds vs. Columbia Lions
Team Tiffany vs, Frick The Haters
Team Moon vs. Sneen Machine
Thursday Game: Denver @ Kansas City 7:25 PM
Sunday: Houston @ Carolina NOON
San Francisco @ Pittsburgh NOON
Tampa Bay @ New Orleans NOON
Detroit @ Minnesota NOON
Arizona @ Chicago NOON
New England @ Buffalo NOON
San Diego @ Cincinnati NOON
Tennessee @ Cleveland NOON
Atlanta @ NY Giants NOON
St. Louis @ Washington NOON
Miami @ Jacksonville 3:05
Baltimore @ Oakland 3:05
Dallas @ Philadelphia 3:25
Seattle @ Green Bay 7:25
Monday: NY Jets @ Indianapolis 7:25
I'm not sure what this is called yet (something witty)
It has been 268 days (as I am typing this) since Ryan Tannehill graduated into a Ryan Tannemountain and led owner Nick Zurawski's Go Columbia, Screw Cal team to a win over Sneen Machine. Many things have changed in those 268 days, including the reinstatement of perennial All-Pro Running Back Adrian Peterson, a whole bunch of pointless discussion on gas laws and quite possibly the largest incoming group of fantasy-relevant rookies since... well, last year. The biggest earth-shattering change of the off-season, despite all those topics, was the tumultuous loss of three perfectly fine fantasy team owners (and Bak) and the last-second rush to replace them. Thankfully through the connections of Bro League commissioner Nick Zurawski and assistant Scott Aschebrook, the league was resurrected and even improved a tad by bumping up the league size to ten. Joining the league this season are Josh Tiffany, Alec Swanson, Evan Moon, Cole Walters-Hitler IV, Alex Silka and Darrin Aschebrook (Aschebrook Sr., Father Aschebrook, etc.). It's going to get good.
NOW! This year's draft was a doozy as we were not even sure who would show up, be available or even slightly aware as to who all of the team owners might be (at least, I wasn't) and it wasn't until the very last minute that all ten team owners were huddled in front of a computer, set to make their picks. Why not have an actual gathering at Buffalo Wild Wings like last season? Cole Walters. I was not aware until what I had assumed was going to be the evening of the draft that the wings & picks would not happen and when I found out, I took off my Vincent Jackson jersey and joined a random ESPN league to feed my addiction to this fake sport of real players and sometimes cash. Despite all the chaos, the online draft was still alive in trash talk and general league discussions one would come to expect (trades, why Cole Walters is the worst, league trophy possibilities).
Week one saw Andy Todd with an incredible comeback win over Cole thanks to two trade acquisitions the day before the season started (Julio Jones & Carlos Hyde), Rapmaster Nicky Z return to dominance as he scored the second-highest point total against Sneen and his Machine, a very solid showing from nearly everyone on Team Silka as Tyler Eifert was the only player to excel on Ron Swanson's lost nephew's team, Aschebrook Sr. winning thanks to an injury to Josh's receiver DeSean Jackson and of course, a tie. Wait... A tie in week one? Yes, a tie in week one between the two lowest scoring teams! That should almost be illegal, but after reviewing the rulebook, it isn't. The only match-up that made me scratch my head at the end of the weekend was Team Aschebrook and Team Moon both scoring eighty points thanks to a garbage-time catch from Viking (and Team Moon) WR Charles Johnson. Fantasy football is pretty bizarre sometimes.
Trades made before Week 1: Scott traded RB Carlos Hyde & WR Demayius Thomas to Andy for RB Jamaal Charles & WR Golden Tate.
Scott traded RB Adrian Peterson, WR Brandon Marshall & TE Greg Olsen to Moon for RB Arian Foster, WR Julio Jones & TE Dwayne Allen
Scott traded WR Julio Jones to Andy for WR Demaryius Thomas
Trade made after Week 1: Scott traded WR's A.J. Green, Demaryius Thomas, Larry Fitzgerald & Terrance Williams to Alec for RB Marshawn Lynch & WR Dez Bryant (Alec simultaneously released WR Brian Quick and TE Julius Thomas)
Scoring Leaders
QB
Tom Brady 27 (TODD)
Aaron Rodgers 22 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Ben Roethlisberger 18 (WALTERS)
Andrew Luck 17 (ZURAWSKI)
Drew Brees 16 (SNEEN)
Matt Ryan 15 (SWANSON)
Russell Wilson 15 (SILKA)
Sam Bradford 13 (MOON)
Ryan Tannehill 11 (ASCHEBROOK)
Peyton Manning 5 (TIFFANY)
RB
Carlos Hyde 31 (TODD)
Matt Forte 27 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Chris Ivory 22 (WALTERS)
Danny Woodhead 22 (TIFFANY)
Jamaal Charles 20 (ASCHEBROOK)
Ameer Abdullah 19 (TODD)
Mark Ingram 19 (ZURAWSKI)
Jeremy Hill 18 (MOON)
Eddie Lacy 17 (SILKA)
Marshawn Lynch 17 (SWANSON)
DeMarco Murray 17 (SNEEN)
Alfred Morris 12 (SILKA)
LeSean McCoy 11 (WALTERS)
Jonathan Stewart 11 (TIFFANY)
Justin Forsett 9 (SNEEN)
Lamar Miller 8 (SWANSON)
Adrian Peterson 8 (MOON)
C.J. Anderson 7 (TIFFANY)
Melvin Gordon 7 (WALTERS)
Alfred Blue 5 (ZURAWSKI)
Frank Gore 5 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Darren McFadden 3 (ASCHEBROOK)
WR
Julio Jones 35 (TODD)
DeAndre Hopkins 32 (ZURAWSKI)
Keenan Allen 31 (TIFFANY)
Antonio Brown 28 (SNEEN)
Julian Edelman 20 (SILKA)
Jarvis Landry 20 (ZURAWSKI)
Jordan Matthews 20 (SNEEN)
T.Y. Hilton 15 (WALTERS)
Randall Cobb 14 (TODD)
Emmanuel Sanders 14 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Tyler Lockett 13 (SILKA)
Demaryius Thomas 13 (ASCHEBROOK)
Alshon Jeffery 12 (SWANSON)
Mike Wallace 12 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
A.J. Green 11 (ASCHEBROOK)
Jeremy Maclin 10 (SWANSON)
Davante Adams 9 (MOON)
Odell Beckham Jr. 9 (WALTERS)
Dez Bryant 9 (SWANSON)
Brandin Cooks 8 (TODD)
Andre Johnson 6 (ZURAWSKI)
Golden Tate 6 (ASCHEBROOK)
Calvin Johnson 5 (SILKA)
Charles Johnson 4 (MOON)
Allen Robinson 3 (MOON)
Steve Smith Sr. 3 (SNEEN)
TE
Rob Gronkowski 32 (ZURAWSKI)
Tyler Eifert 31 (SWANSON)
Travis Kelce 28 (WALTERS)
Jason Witten 26 (TIFFANY)
Jimmy Graham 17 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Martellus Bennett 16 (SNEEN)
Delanie Walker 13 (TODD)
Jordan Cameron 11 (SILKA)
Dwayne Allen 10 (ASCHEBROOK)
Greg Olsen 2 (MOON)
K
Matt Bryant 17 (WALTERS)
Steven Hauschka 11 (TIFFANY)
Justin Tucker 10 (SNEEN)
Dan Bailey 9 (MOON)
Mason Crosby 7 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Andrew Franks 5 (TODD)
Cody Parkey 5 (SILKA)
Stephen Gostkowski 4 (ASCHEBROOK)
Matt Prater 4 (ZURAWSKI)
Adam Vinatieri -1 (SWANSON)
DF
Carolina Panthers 22 (ZURAWSKI)
Denver Broncos 18 (SILKA)
Seattle Seahawks 18 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Miami Dolphins 14 (TODD)
New York Jets 14 (MOON)
St. Louis Rams 13 (SNEEN)
Buffalo Bills 9 (WALTERS)
Houston Texans 2 (ASCHEBROOK)
Arizona Cardinals 1 (SWANSON)
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