Wisconsin Rapids Bro League
Bro...
Good news everyone! I beat the COVID-19 out of Nick Zurawski this week. The timeline might seem a bit cloudy but just trust me, his 2.02-point loss to Lord Pretty Flacco Joey this week was enough to make him cry, replenish those fluids and welcome him back to the outside universe for the rest of the 2023-24 season. We're all happy to hear Nick's recovered and now the only sympathy we might feel is for the two 2-6s of the Shooter McGavin division that is only shooting blanks halfway through the year. Speaking of blanks, the trade deadline should be the perfect time for both Alec (Tax Paying Homeowner) and Brett (Jordan Addison's Dog) to do literally anything as the deadline for all deals approaches next Friday, the 10th at 2 AM CST. A friendly reminder to the two zero-time champions that the Bro League does not have a playoff committee or a play-in tournament or whatever an in-season tournament is. No, our regular season records are the end-all, be-all until week 15 when ESPN botches our playoff seeding (ONLY FOUR PLAYOFF TEAMS, NOT SIX) and the WRBL postseason begins. So far the only trade rumor is that Cole Walters is looking to beef up his team's depth as he continues hulking out over a 6-game winning streak. Stoltzya's Electric Orcas are this week's vic--I mean, opponent for the 96ers and with zero players on bye in comparison to Cole's five? Well, the opportunity is there even though Cole's strongest missing men will be TE Sam LaPorta and current WRBL RB2 Travis Etienne. LIVE.LAUGH.OLAVE. have also gone on a stretch hotter than the sand on Miami beach in the summertime, winning four in a row leading into this week's matchup versus 2-6 Brett. Somebody poke Brett with a stick, it's time for hi to do something now that I've finally passed him in scoring (The difference in points scored and the hypothetical standings are both absolutely wild this year, Gabe is hypothetically 0-8!).
Peaking at the NFL standings, every talking head in America is recycling the same topic, sifting through the seven or eight teams that are serious contenders (Baltimore, Miami, Kansas City, Jacksonville, Philadelphia, Dallas, Detroit and San Francisco plus maybe Buffalo?), trying to figure out who is the most "real". This week, we've got a boatload of games built for primetime and Titans-Steelers (meh) on Thursday Night Football. Next week will be the week to observe the good teams and see what we can take away from Sunday morning's Dolphin-Chief game or Sunday afternoon's Seahawk-Raven game or the annual national Cowboy-Eagle game OR Sunday Night's Bills-Bengals game. After all of that, we still get to sit on the edge of our seats for Monday Night Footall: Chargers vs. Jets, a sneaky possible last call for LA Head Coach Brandon Staley. Instead of looking at all of those teams, I'd like to focus on a few teams that have turned their eyes toward 2024 already. The Raiders made the move they needed to make this week when they fired head coach Josh McDaniels, surprised me with the move to can GM Dave Ziegler after a pretty mediocre 18 months of decision-making and also booted OC Mick Lombardi. Perhaps, they'll experience an immediate rejuvenation as a whole with interim HC Antonio Pierce and the weakling New York Giants in town. Perhaps these were the moves needed to stoke Vegas's eternal flame or maybe benching Jimmy Garoppolo after a 3-5 start for rookie QB Aidan O'Connell wasn't a shrewd business decision. Only time will tell but I must say that Panthers HC Frank Reich handing over play-calling duties to OC Thomas Brown did help the Carolina offense in an upset win over Houston, even if the final result may not have screamed "offensive revolution" (a 15-13 Carolina win, their first of the season).
Rusty Jones/AP
Bryce Young had not lived up to expectations until he took down Texan QB and #2 overall pick C.J. Stroud on Sunday.
One team that does not need to make any rash decisions despite an ugly 2-5 start are the Green Bay Packers. Barring multiple touchdownless games in a row, this team is struggling in both ways we should have all seen coming (a historically young offense with no reliable pass-catchers outside of WR Romeo Doubs) and at least one way I certainly did not see coming... the offensive line is the worst I've seen since at least Aaron Rodgers' first season as the starter, 2008. Losing OT David Bakhtiari was a predictable unfortunate event that they have no excuse being this unprepared for, especially when the defense has actually been solid for the most part. Maybe this is it for Matt LaFleur and QB Jordan Love ends up being a one-and-done but, things could also even out. Just look at the Denver Broncos, a much different-feeling 3-5 in comparison to the Raiders' 3-5 record. QB Russell Wilson was dead and buried in the national eye after a horrendous fall in play in 2022 and to start 2023, HC Sean Payton has not gotten enough credit for turning a messy offense into a respectable one where Russell Wilson has a better TD:INT ratio (16:4) than MVP-candidate Patrick Mahomes (15:8). Don't get me wrong, Mahomes laps Wilson in the eye-test but, Russ is kind of back and with each day that passes, I demand answers for why Atlanta would not even pick up a phone and call Denver about him. The Broncos headlining failure to start 2023 was the defense, plugging in veterans that they abandoned at record speed (See ya, Frank Clark and Randy Gregory!) after suffering through awful blowouts with multiple other defenders missing time due to injury. Now? they've gotten healthier and straightened things out a bit (aided by a game versus Green Bay and an ailing Mahomes). Is the wildcard in their future? Probably not but, I'm not betting on any of the non-division leaders outside of Buffalo and Cincinnati to keep their ducks in a row.
One final note, congratulations to the Texas Rangers on getting their WINS in a row on the road of all places! Setting an MLB record ELEVEN consecutive road wins and defeating the Arizona Diamondbacks four games to one. Corey Seager, welcome to the Hall of Fame. Bruce Bochy, GOAT? and may the Shohei Ohtani sweepstakes begin!
Official WRBL Standings
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| Christopher Hanewinckel - USA TODAY Sports Hero of the Week: WR DeAndre Hopkins (Dad Weights And Protein Shakes) |
NICK v. SPARKY
Scoring Leaders
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