Wisconsin Rapids Bro League
Our ninth official season of blaming Cole Walters for all the Air Bud sequels.
Bro...
Time is but a man-made construct and "Old Town Road" is a 5-year old song now. Thankfully, our suddenly-ancient selves can sleep in on Sunday morning because Colts-Patriots was bad enough that they canceled all other non-United States NFL games, can I get an amen? Week 11 will still have a potentially fun AFC North game featuring the 5-4 Bengals and the 7-3 Ravens Thursday night (*whines in Andy Todd*) but after that, it's smooth sailing for lineup decisions and game times (at least it should be). The timing could not be more perfect as we are now but a month away from WRBL postseason play and the division races have further tightened dramatically ahead of the fun of thanksgiving, bowl games and snow season. Week 10 finally saw Nathaniel Hoefs take first-place in the Steven Nett Division, odd considering that this was the first week all season both he and insufficient opponent Cole Walters finished in the bottom half of WRBL scoring. Cole lost by a whopping 2.96 points because the Denver Broncos decided RB Javonte Williams was no Samaje Perine despite Williams scoring a touchdown in their upset victory over Buffalo on Monday night. At least, that's the way Cole tells that story and I'm sure the margin of loss will get smaller and smaller with each retelling of the story until he eventually claims Nathan lost and that come July 4th, 2024... It should be Cole's Hot Dog Eating Contest that gets hosted annually in New York because we are all just pawns and slight role players in Mr. Walters' Playhouse.
Not that it matters but, the Shooter McGavin division got more tense as well with a Nick Zurawski win (Hoozah, Sam Howell!) and it's a-me! Andy-o! with a loss to suddenly sneaky wildcard contender Jaime Sparkes (Boo, sudden Jaguars offensive no-shows!). Looking ahead, the Joshua Dobbs experience might be more than a one-week wonder, Kyler Murray's leg appears to be doing perfectly fine and Alec Swanson's 2-8 team record is nowhere near indicative of how solidly he's managed his team this season (6-4 in the Hypothetical Standings). The Tax Payer now needs to win out for any shot at the Bro League postseason (as does Brett) and he begins that hopeless last gasp against LIVE.LAUGH.OLAVE himself, the Steven Nett Division leader. It was a nice ride and Alec still enjoys setting a lineup without having to include the highs and lows of weekly NFL action... After all, "Spin the bottle" is fun enough as it is and arguably, there's no need to involve kissing or making out.
Everybody enjoy their pre-Thanksgiving build-up and make sure you crossed stuffing off the shopping list (my personal favorite part of the meal options typically presented) because things are about to get hectic and I'm running on fumes here trying to figure out whether to zag or zig with my team maintaining it's consistency while never truly breaking through as being worthy of playoff consideration (3-7 hypothetical record). It's also about to be a short work week for most and long for some so, just be thankful we get to do any of this at all amidst the real-world conflicts out there. Excuse me while I drop Kyle Pitts for bye week fill-in at kicker.
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USA TODAY Sports
I'm not crying about Kyle Pitts' fantasy usage, you're crying about Kyle Pitts fantasy usage.
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Official WRBL Standings
Steven Nett Division
LIVE.LAUGH.OLAVE. (Nathaniel Hoefs) 8-2 W6 (1,418.28)
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 8-2 L1 (1,310.9)
Dad Weights and Protein Shakes (Jaime Sparkes AKA: Sparky) 5-5 W3 (1,146.1)
Stoltzya's Electric Orcas (Gabe Stoltz) 4-6 W1 (1,108.08)
Shooter McGavin Division
Lord Pretty Flacco Joey (Andy Todd) 6-4 L1 (1,199.9)
I Had COVID-19 (Nick Zurawski) 5-5 W1 (1,359.12)
Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 2-8 L4 (1,260.62)
Jordan Addison's Dog (Brett Weinfurter) 2-8 L5 (1,146.38)
Week Ten Final Scores
HOEFS defeats COLE 109.24-106.28
NICK defeats ALEC 169.28-153.22
SPARKY defeats ANDY 135.52-117.2
GABE defeats BRETT 119.78-95.32
Heroes of the Week: WR Keenan Allen (Nick, 40.5), WR CeeDee Lamb (Sparky, 39.5), WR Amon-Ra St. Brown (Andy, 30.5)
Waiver Wonders: WR Brandin Cooks (32.3), QB Joshua Dobbs (25.12), WR Noah Brown (24.2)
Benchwarmers of the Week: QB Dak Prescott (Hoefs, 37.86), RB Brian Robinson Jr. (Alec, 27.7), QB Brock Purdy (Cole, 23.84)
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Jeffrey Becker - USA TODAY Sports
Waiver Wonder: QB Joshua Dobbs (268 yards + 1 TD Passing and 44 yards + 1 TD Rushing) |
Upcoming Week 11 Schedule for both WRBL and NFL (in CST)
HOEFS v. ALEC
COLE v. NICK
GABE v. SPARKY
BRETT v. ANDY
Thursday @ 7:15 PM: Cincinnati @ Baltimore
Sunday @ NOON: Arizona @ Houston
Chicago @ Detroit
LA Chargers @ Green Bay
Las Vegas @ Miami
Pittsburgh @ Cleveland
Tennessee @ Jacksonville
Dallas @ Carolina
NY Giants @ Washington
Sunday @ 3:05 PM: Tampa Bay @ San Francisco
Sunday @ 3:25 PM: Seattle @ LA Rams
NY Jets @ Buffalo
Sunday @ 7:20 PM: Minnesota @ Denver
Monday @ 7:15 PM: Philadelphia @ Kansas City
BYES: Atlanta Falcons, New Orleans Saints, Indianapolis Colts, New England Patriots
Scoring Leaders
QB
Josh Allen 224.6 (Cole)
Jalen Hurts 205.48 (Nick)
Justin Herbert 185.32 (Alec)
Lamar Jackson 183.18 (Brett)
Patrick Mahomes 171.52 (Sparky)
Trevor Lawrence 105.04 (Andy)
Kirk Cousins 104.72 (Gabe)
Justin Fields 95.08 (Hoefs)
Joe Burrow 60.76 (Gabe)
C.J. Stroud 46.1 (Alec/Hoefs)
Dak Prescott 42.72 (Hoefs)
Sam Howell 24.18 (Nick)
Baker Mayfield 18.32 (Sparky)
Geno Smith 16.44 (Hoefs/Andy)
Brock Purdy 12.78 (Andy)
RB
Christian McCaffrey 220.6 (Alec)
Travis Etienne 170.3 (Cole)
Josh Jacobs 145.5 (Brett)
Bijan Robinson 131 (Andy)
Alvin Kamara 121.9 (Hoefs)
Joe Mixon 119.3 (Nick)
Austin Ekeler 108 (Gabe)
Isiah Pacheco 107.1 (Gabe)
Saquon Barkley 106.3 (Gabe)
Kenneth Walker 105.9 (Cole)
Rhamondre Stevenson 100.7 (Brett)
Rachaad White 98.7 (Andy)
Tony Pollard 98.1 (Cole)
Jahmyr Gibbs 95 (Sparky)
Aaron Jones 73.7 (Sparky)
Derrick Henry 70.98 (Hoefs)
Breece Hall 70.2 (Andy)
Jonathan Taylor 68.5 (Nick)
Alexander Mattison 68.3 (Nick)
Kyren Williams 65.7 (Alec)
Raheem Mostert 65.4 (Hoefs)
D'Onta Foreman 63.1 (Brett)
James Cook 59.8 (Hoefs)
D'Andre Swift 52.6 (Alec)
James Conner 47.4 (Gabe)
Jaylen Warren 29.9 (Gabe)
Najee Harris 29.2 (Alec)
Javonte Williams 28.8 (Cole)
Zack Moss 27.7 (Sparky)
Jerome Ford 26.9 (Andy)
David Montgomery 25.2 (Brett)
Miles Sanders 23.4 (Nick)
Nick Chubb 23.1 (Nick)
De'Von Achane 21.5 (Nick)
Gus Edwards 17.2 (Alec)
Chuba Hubbard 10.7 (Cole)
A.J. Dillon 10.6 (Sparky)
Dameon Pierce 6.7 (Hoefs)
Dalvin Cook 4.7 (Sparky)
WR
Tyreek Hill 214.3 (Hoefs)
Keenan Allen 205.06 (Nick)
A.J. Brown 203.5 (Hoefs)
Stefon Diggs 201.8 (Cole)
CeeDee Lamb 198.2 (Sparky)
Amon-Ra St. Brown 170.4 (Andy)
Mike Evans 145.7 (Andy)
Michael Pittman Jr. 130 (Brett)
Davante Adams 126.3 (Alec)
Ja'Marr Chase 123.8 (Brett)
DeVonta Smith 119.3 (Gabe)
DeAndre Hopkins 115.6 (Sparky)
Jaylen Waddle 111.2 (Cole)
Justin Jefferson 109.1 (Sparky)
Puka Nacua 107.1 (Nick)
Chris Olave 96.9 (Hoefs)
Calvin Ridley 89.6 (Andy)
DK Metcalf 73.6 (Alec)
Cooper Kupp 67.4 (Nick)
Brandon Aiyuk 63.1 (Alec)
Zay Flowers 62.3 (Gabe)
Adam Thielen 61.8 (Hoefs)
Terry McLaurin 60.8 (Alec)
Chris Godwin 57.9 (Gabe)
Tyler Lockett 52.1 (Nick)
Deebo Samuel 49.6 (Brett)
Jaxon Smith-Njigba 34.4 (Sparky)
Amari Cooper 33.9 (Gabe)
Christian Kirk 33.4 (Cole)
K.J. Osborn 31.3 (Brett)
Garrett Wilson 30.7 (Brett)
D.J. Moore 29.5 (Alec)
Marquise Brown 24 (Andy)
Tee Higgins 23.1 (Cole/Andy)
Jordan Addison 18.4 (Andy)
Christian Watson 16.7 (Sparky)
Nico Collins 6.9 (Cole)
Kadarius Toney 2.3 (Sparky)
TE
T.J. Hockenson 161.1 (Alec)
Travis Kelce 140.7 (Nick)
Mark Andrews 131.1 (Andy)
Evan Engram 92.4 (Hoefs)
Dallas Goedert 91 (Gabe)
Sam LaPorta 90.6 (Cole)
George Kittle 70.6 (Sparky)
David Njoku 52.2 (Brett)
Darren Waller 50.1 (Brett)
Dalton Kincaid 49.7 (Sparky)
Dalton Schultz 38.1 (Hoefs)
Jake Ferguson 22.1 (Cole)
Trey McBride 21.1 (Nick)
Cole Kmet 9.6 (Gabe)
Tyler Higbee 7.9 (Nick)
Pat Freiermuth 7.3 (Cole)
Kyle Pitts 6.4 (Andy)
Luke Musgrave 4.5 (Cole)
Zach Ertz 4.2 (Cole)
K
Jake Elliott 91 (Hoefs)
Harrison Butker 84 (Alec)
Justin Tucker 83 (Sparky)
Daniel Carlson 71 (Gabe)
Tyler Bass 68 (Cole)
Younghoe Koo 63 (Andy)
Evan McPherson 60 (Nick/Alec)
Riley Patterson 54 (Brett)
Jason Myers 39 (Nick)
Matt Gay 16 (Brett)
Jake Moody 11 (Andy)
Greg Zuerlein 11 (Brett)
Brandon Aubrey 7 (Hoefs)
DF
Dallas Cowboys 93 (Nick)
Pittsburgh Steelers 84 (Hoefs)
Buffalo Bills 80 (Brett)
New York Jets 59 (Gabe)
San Francisco 49ers 53 (Sparky)
Philadelphia Eagles 44 (Andy)
Las Vegas Raiders 40 (Gabe)
Miami Dolphins 36 (Alec)
Baltimore Ravens 25 (Hoefs/Cole)
Denver Broncos 25 (Cole)
Los Angeles Chargers 24 (Alec)
Minnesota Vikings 20 (Cole)
New England Patriots 20 (Cole/Sparky)
Jacksonville Jaguars 19 (Cole)
Cleveland Browns 18 (Cole)
Seattle Seahawks 16 (Andy)
Atlanta Falcons 14 (Nick)
New Orleans Saints 14 (Andy)
Washington Commanders 9 (Nick)
Chicago Bears 6 (Alec)
Green Bay Packers 1 (Alec)
Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose, no divisions)
Live.Laugh.Olave. 8-2
Colieveland 96ers 8-2
I Had COVID-19 7-3
Tax Paying Homeowner 6-4
Lord Pretty Flacco Joey 3-7
Jordan Addison's Dog 3-7
Dad Weights And Protein Shakes 3-7
Stoltzya's Electric Orcas 2-8
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