Wisconsin Rapids Bro League
Our eighth official season of blaming Cole Walters for my first time getting pulled over.
Bro...
You're reading those standings correctly. I hold the head-to-head tiebreaker over Brett, by winning both of our regular season matches and therefor leading the race for second in the Shooter McGavin Division despite his 30.76 point advantage. When we put together the league last minute every year, we sort of just learn the rules behind postseason play and tiebreakers along the way. It's an imperfect process but, so is letting the worst team in the NFL pick first every year. Speaking of which, the Texans are largely rumored to be taking a quarterback at pick #1 this season. Which prospect will ultimately grasp their interest harder than the others? Bryce Young of Alabama is having his stock rise with every week that former Nick Saban disciples Tua Tagovailoa, Jalen Hurts and Mac Jones are at the helm for winning NFL teams. Kentucky QB Will Levis has opted to skip the Wildcats' bowl game in order to preserve his body for likely being drafted on night number one. Florida Gator QB Anthony Richardson is a fascinating project pick with all the athleticism in the world that hasn't translated to winning and who knows how his arm translates to the NFL. At least the league is in a place now where I feel like fans can trust most coaching staffs to come up with something creative for the wide array of talent that Lamar Jackson, Daniel Jones, Josh Allen and Jalen Hurts all have. The most fun part of that is lesser but similarly talented backups like Tyler Huntley and Brock Purdy get thrown into real games with very little doubt in anyone's minds that their respective teams are still capable of winning. This week will be a showcase for Purdy and Huntley specifically as Lamar is week-to-week and Jimmy Garropolo will not see the field again until the playoffs at the earliest.
Congratulations to Nathaniel Hoefs on finally changing the fantasy team name. I've lucked out in that in my vast music collection, I only own one CD of Ye's and that's Kids See Ghosts and Kid Cudi was just as much a part of that album and disowned the rapper formerly known as Mr. West a while ago. I also own one shirt of his and I'd argue the "I Miss The Old Kanye" shirt has aged especially well considering seemingly zero percent of the profit for that shirt went his way. Another instance of legal loopholes leading to a victory for the internet! Sadly, Hoefs is out here causing a commotion with his team winning back-to-back weeks despite failing to show any impact for his own sake in the playoff hunt. This week's Nathaniel victory was led by the resurgence of Lions' RB D'Andre Swift and the first-ever WRBL start for Jet WR Garrett Wilson going for 24.2 points while my team outside of CMC showed little-to-no explosiveness. Hoefs will look to continue playing spoiler as he tries to knock Sparky down to a fourth seed (or lower?) behind QB Deshaun Watson after the disgraced former Texan QB disgraced the game of football with some absolute dogshit pass attempts versus that same Texan defense that is bad enough to qualify for the first pick in the 2023 draft. Gabe Stoltz wishes there were prize as meaningful as first pick in the 2023 draft for his last place team as Stoltzya's Electric Orcas shocked absolutely nobody with their fourth consecutive loss, a 10-point heartbreaker to 6-7 Scott's Many Endeavors. Surprisingly, that record is on par with Gabe's 3-10 as both teams sit in last in their divisions despite dropping 290.24 combined points in week 13.
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| Both Brett and Nathaniel couldn't find space on their not-exactly loaded rosters for the #1 scoring defense in fantasy (Dallas), so Nick added them off waivers just in time for a Malik Hooker fumble recovery touchdown against his former team (the Colts), propelling the Endeavors to their closely fought win. |
Cole and Alec continue to battle for the title of league's winningest team this week when they face each other in the league's final regular season matchups, which will carry no weight into the postseason other than who's first versus who's second. Either way, these two won't face each other until the Finals if everything plays out according to current seeding. Cole made up his one game disadvantage this week with a win against no-show Sparky, who I'm pretty sure is 0-2 since I bragged his team up while Alec scored 13 points more than the 96ers and LOST by 13.76 to Kyler's Study Buddies. Brett still needs to drop a ton of points this week or have one of Sparky (playing 4-9 Hoefs) and Andy (facing 3-10 Gabe) to lose in order for his Study Buddies to make their first ever postseason appearance in their debut season.
Next week's recap will be short and sweet and will feature the unveiling of our 2022 postseason bracket so, make sure to set the best possible lineups as one possibly can with only 26 teams active and remember, it's not the NFL's fault (even though it kind of is) that you couldn't field a playoff-caliber lineup in week 14 when we've all had 13 weeks prior to right these ships. Here's to hoping all Game-time decisions carry little to no weight in this final regular season week's result whether they're in lineups or inactive all together. After all, seeing RB Joe Mixon OUT but still in Gabe's starting lineup as the FLEX would be a totally shitty way to lose playoff standing if that somehow cost Gabe a win and somebody else playoff seeding. Every move, win or lose is crucial in this wacky game.
Steven Nett Division
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 9-4 W2 (1,737.88)
Here Dad Weights (Jaime Sparkes AKA: Sparky) 7-6 L2 (1,698.84)
No Antisemites Allowed (Nathaniel Hoefs) 4-9 W2 (1,516.68)
Stoltzya's Electric Orcas (Gabe Stoltz) 3-10 L4 (1,549.44)
Shooter McGavin Division
Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 9-4 L1 (1,763.92)
The Rule of Law (Andy Todd) 7-6 L2 (1,630.12)
Kyler's Study Buddies (Brett Weinfurter) 7-6 W2 (1,660.96)
Scott's Many Endeavors (Nick Zurawski) 6-7 W1 (1,591.74)
Week Thirteen Final Scores
NICK defeats GABE 150.16-140.08
BRETT defeats ALEC 155.5-141.74
COLE defeats SPARKY 128.92-94.12
HOEFS defeats ANDY 132.14-95.66
Heroes of the Week: WR Davante Adams (37.7, Brett), WR Amon'Ra St. Brown (34.6, Nick), QB Jalen Hurts (34.4, Brett)
Waiver Wonders: QB Jared Goff (21.6), RB Samaje Perine (21.5), RB Cam Akers (19)
Benchwarmers of the Week: WR Tyler Lockett (27.8, Cole), RB A.J. Dillon (20.9, Andy), WR Keenan Allen (20.8, Brett)
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AP Photo/Duane Burleson
Hero of the Week: WR Amon'Ra St. Brown (Scott's Many Endeavors) |
Upcoming Week 14 Schedule: WRBL & NFL
Alec v. Cole
Nick v. Brett
Andy v. Gabe
Sparky v. Hoefs
THURSDAY @ 7:15 PM CT: Las Vegas @ LA Rams
Sunday Noon CT: Cleveland @ Cincinnati
NY Jets @ Buffalo
Minnesota @ Detroit
Philadelphia @ NY Giants
Jacksonville @ Tennessee
Houston @ Dallas
Baltimore @ Pittsburgh
3:05 PM CT: Kansas City @ Denver
3:25 PM CT: Tampa Bay @ San Francisco
Carolina @ Seattle
SNF @ 7:20 PM CT: Miami @ LA Chargers
MNF @ 7:15 PM CT: New England @ Arizona
BYES: Green Bay Packers, Chicago Bears, Washington Commanders, New Orleans Saints, Indianapolis Colts, Atlanta Falcons
Scoring Leaders
QB
Patrick Mahomes 300.52 (Sparky)
Josh Allen 294.34 (Cole)
Jalen Hurts 279.78 (Brett)
Joe Burrow 274.24 (Alec)
Lamar Jackson 234.74 (Nick)
Kyler Murray 166.5 (Hoefs)
Trevor Lawrence 145.38 (Andy)
Geno Smith 114.48 (Gabe)
Russell Wilson 99.06 (Gabe/Andy)
Justin Fields 58.64 (Nick)
Tom Brady 55.54 (Andy/Hoefs/Alec)
Daniel Jones 42.92 (Hoefs)
Justin Herbert 41.38 (Brett)
Derek Carr 20.28 (Gabe)
Tua Tagovailoa 15.94 (Cole)
Aaron Rodgers 15.22 (Sparky)
Dak Prescott 12.28 (Hoefs)
Jimmy Garoppolo 8.44 (Andy)
Deshaun Watson 5.34 (Hoefs)
RB
Austin Ekeler 268.3 (Sparky)
Josh Jacobs 255.1 (Alec)
Christian McCaffrey 231.06 (Andy)
Derrick Henry 223.56 (Andy)
Saquon Barkley 219.6 (Cole)
Aaron Jones 201.5 (Brett)
Dalvin Cook 182.4 (Nick)
Nick Chubb 168.5 (Gabe)
Joe Mixon 156.7 (Gabe)
Leonard Fournette 154.7 (Nick)
Jonathan Taylor 144.1 (Gabe)
Alvin Kamara 135.9 (Sparky)
David Montgomery 135.5 (Alec)
Tony Pollard 116.2 (Hoefs)
Kenneth Walker 108.4 (Andy)
Rhamondre Stevenson 109.3 (Cole)
Najee Harris 104.76 (Nick)
D'Andre Swift 100.3 (Hoefs)
Breece Hall 86.9 (Brett/Cole)
Miles Sanders 80.1 (Cole/Brett)
Jeff Wilson Jr. 68.6 (Hoefs)
Antonio Gibson 58.2 (Gabe)
Travis Etienne 44.8 (Nick)
Ezekiel Elliott 44 (Andy/Nick)
Raheem Mostert 43 (Hoefs)
Javonte Williams 42 (Cole)
James Conner 41.5 (Nick/Brett)
Dameon Pierce 36 (Andy)
Melvin Gordon 31.4 (Cole)
James Robinson 29.4 (Hoefs)
Kareem Hunt 26.3 (Brett)
D'Onta Foreman 25.5 (Andy)
Eno Benjamin 23.3 (Hoefs)
Clyde Edwards-Helaire 22.3 (Sparky)
Devin Singletary 15.7 (Gabe)
Michael Carter 15.6 (Cole)
Latavius Murray 12.9 (Sparky)
Khalil Herbert 11.1 (Alec)
Deon Jackson 5.6 (Gabe)
Jamaal Williams 5.6 (Nick)
Elijah Mitchell 4.1 (Hoefs)
J.K. Dobbins 1.5 (Alec)
Rashaad Penny 1.5 (Hoefs)
Kenyan Drake 0.8 (Sparky)
WR
Stefon Diggs 271.2 (Cole)
Davante Adams 268.5 (Brett)
Tyreek Hill 266.9 (Gabe)
Justin Jefferson 263.36 (Alec)
A.J. Brown 206 (Nick)
CeeDee Lamb 202.4 (Hoefs)
Cooper Kupp 201.4 (Hoefs)
Jaylen Waddle 172.5 (Cole)
Ja'Marr Chase 158.4 (Brett)
Terry McLaurin 155.4 (Alec)
Deebo Samuel 149.6 (Alec)
Mike Evans 149.1 (Andy)
Amon-Ra St. Brown 143.5 (Nick)
Tee Higgins 125.7 (Sparky)
Michael Pittman Jr. 125.3 (Sparky)
DeAndre Hopkins 124.4 (Andy)
DK Metcalf 107.1 (Brett)
Courtland Sutton 101.2 (Gabe)
DeVonta Smith 100.9 (Gabe)
Christian Kirk 97.7 (Sparky)
Chris Godwin 91.3 (Hoefs)
Marquise Brown 82.4 (Andy)
Mike Williams 81.7 (Sparky/Hoefs)
Chris Olave 73.2 (Sparky)
Christian Watson 66.5 (Sparky)
Drake London 62.8 (Brett)
Tyler Lockett 49.2 (Andy/Cole)
Allen Lazard 47.5 (Cole)
Brandin Cooks 45.2 (Cole/Brett)
Diontae Johnson 39.9 (Nick)
Amari Cooper 39.3 (Andy)
Gabe Davis 36 (Nick)
Brandon Aiyuk 35.3 (Alec)
D.J. Moore 33.6 (Hoefs)
Tyler Boyd 28.4 (Cole)
JuJu Smith-Schuster 28 (Andy/Hoefs)
Garrett Wilson 24.2 (Hoefs)
Joshua Palmer 18.6 (Alec)
Keenan Allen 10.6 (Brett)
Curtis Samuel 10.4 (Hoefs)
Rondale Moore 4.1 (Cole)
TE
Travis Kelce 246.3 (Alec)
Mark Andrews 154.2 (Andy)
T.J. Hockenson 117.8 (Cole)
Dallas Goedert 113.4 (Sparky)
Zach Ertz 88.7 (Brett)
George Kittle 83.2 (Hoefs)Dalton Schultz 71.9 (Nick)
Kyle Pitts 56 (Gabe)
Gerald Everett 45.5 (Gabe)
Hayden Hurst 41.5 (Cole/Nick/Brett)
Darren Waller 39.5 (Brett/Nick)
Dawson Knox 30.4 (Nick/Sparky)
Tyler Higbee 27.4 (Hoefs)Pat Freiermuth 16.6 (Cole)
David Njoku 14.1 (Sparky)
Foster Moreau 13.3 (Andy)
Mike Gesicki 12.8 (Alec)
Taysom Hill 1.12 (Andy)
K
Tyler Bass 117 (Cole)
Daniel Carlson 114 (Nick/Hoefs)
Justin Tucker 108 (Sparky)Evan McPherson 100 (Brett)
Ryan Succop 85 (Andy)Younghoe Koo 65 (Gabe)
Brandon McManus 60 (Alec)
Jason Myers 54 (Nick)
Brett Maher 37 (Cole/Nick)
Graham Gano 32 (Hoefs/Sparky)
Cairo Santos 23 (Alec)
Matt Gay 22 (Hoefs)
Harrison Butker 17 (Gabe/Alec/Brett)
Jake Elliott 16 (Gabe)
Rodrigo Blankenship 8 (Andy)
Nick Folk 2 (Andy)
DF
Dallas Cowboys 110 (Brett/Hoefs/Nick)
San Francisco 49ers 108 (Gabe)
Buffalo Bills 97 (Sparky)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 65 (Alec)
New England Patriots 51 (Hoefs/Alec)
Philadelphia Eagles 50 (Andy)
Denver Broncos 47 (Cole)
Baltimore Ravens 38 (Nick/Gabe)
Minnesota Vikings 32 (Brett)
Green Bay Packers 30 (Hoefs)
Cleveland Browns 29 (Cole)
Miami Dolphins 26 (Nick)
Los Angeles Rams 26 (Andy)
New York Jets 22 (Andy/Hoefs)
Pittsburgh Steelers 19 (Nick/Alec)
Tennessee Titans 18 (Sparky)
New Orleans Saints 16 (Cole)
Kansas City Chiefs 10 (Nick)
Indianapolis Colts 8 (Andy/Cole)
Atlanta Falcons 8 (Alec)
Seattle Seahawks 8 (Hoefs)
Cincinnati Bengals 7 (Cole/Nick)
Los Angeles Chargers 7 (Nick)
Chicago Bears 6 (Cole)
Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose, no divisions)
Colieveland 96ers 10-3
Tax Paying Homeowner 8-5
Here Dad Weights 8-5
Kyler's Study Buddies 7-6
The Rule of Law 7-6
Scott's Many Endeavors 5-8
Stoltzya's Electric Orcas 4-9
Yeezy Taught Me 3-10
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