Wisconsin Rapids Bro League
Our ninth official season of blaming Cole Walters for running the ball in a kneel-down situation.
Bro...
This was a weekend for the books y'all... Gabe's 3-2 despite having 189.04 points fewer than 3-2 Hoefs through just FIVE weeks, how? by facing sub-triple digit scorers on multiple occasions now with Alec being the latest to play too far down to his opponent. Despite the Shooter McGavin division being the weaker of the two divisions and Andy Todd (hey, that's a-me!) having 24.98 FEWER points than Tax Paying Alec, Swanson's season is looking like a total duck of a year from opening kick. Meanwhile, my three bye week fill-ins (Breece Hall, Jordan Addison and Marquise Brown) showed out for a combined 62.9 points and might just be more than temporary seat-fillers for Rachaad White, Mike Evans and the surprise week 5 inactive Amon'Ra St. Brown. Alas, Cole's Bills 96'ed me by playing from behind in their loss to Jacksonville. Speaking of surprise inactives, Sparky wasn't going to drop 53 points with an entire lineup of Monday Night footballers from the awful Packer-Raider dud but, the last-minute Aaron Jones inactive sure didn't inspire faith in Dad Weights and Protein Shakes moving forward. He may have had an 8-player lineup this week but, even Sparky's team doesn't feel like a last place squad with Patrick Mahomes and Justin Jefferson. Sadly, the most valuable non-QB in football (Jefferson) now hits IR for at least four weeks and the unlucky 1-4 Minnesota Vikings are about to determine whether or not they're a part of the Caleb Williams-Drake Maye sweepstakes at the 2024 NFL Draft. Two teams that may not want to admit that they SHOULD be in those very sweepstakes are the 2-3 Packers and 3-2 Steelers (who should owe T.J. Watt 99% of their salary cap). That's not to say that Jordan Love and Kenny Pickett won't be solid NFL quarterbacks with a higher ceiling than previously imagined but c'mon man... I watched Caleb Williams in triple overtime against Arizona while multitasking at work last Sunday morning around 1 am and that dude is the real deal from day #1. There are maybe ten NFL quarterbacks I'd take over him right now and I'm kicking the entire NFC North slate of quarterbacks to the curb for him (Yes, including red-hot Jared Goff). One quarterback that has passed the Caleb Williams bar so far in 2023? Brock Purdy. That guy is a way more consistent fantasy option than he has any right to be as last year's Mr. Irrelevant and has the owners of Justin Fields (Hoefs), Trevor Lawrence (Andy) and Gabe looking at the waiver wire wondering if this is the week we abandon our preseason picks for the current QB5 in fantasy. Tune in next week to see if there are any new developments in the quarterbacking landscape, if London game #3 lives up to the Jags-Bills upset and to see if we can have as much fun watching football in the Todd household after we had my 94-year old grandmother watching the Red Zone with us this past Sunday and doing a shockingly good job of keeping track of all of the games, especially with the "Witching Hour" causing chaos all over the league. Much like Brock Purdy and T.J. Watt, Scott Hanson is not getting paid enough.
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AP Photo/Matt Durisko
Live.Laugh.Olave. owes some of their league-leading 722.1 points and the AFC North-leading Pittsburgh Steelers seemingly owe all three of their wins to their defense, which is mainly just T.J. Watt (above) and ten of his buddies. |
Official WRBL Standings
Steven Nett Division
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 4-1 W3 (662.98)
LIVE.LAUGH.OLAVE. (Nathaniel Hoefs) 3-2 W1 (722.1)
Stoltzya's Electric Orcas (Gabe Stoltz) 3-2 W2 (533.06)
Dad Weights and Protein Shakes (Jaime Sparkes AKA: Sparky) 2-3 L2 (547.88)
Shooter McGavin Division
Lord Pretty Flacco Joey (Andy Todd) 3-2 L1 (616.92)
Scott's Many Endeavors (Nick Zurawski) 2-3 L2 (691.24)
Jordan Addison's Dog (Brett Weinfurter) 2-3 W1 (617.9)
Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 1-4 L1 (641.9)
Week Five Final Scores
COLE defeats ANDY 147.76-135.5
HOEFS defeats NICK 155.68-141.22
GABE defeats ALEC 109.36-92.96
BRETT defeats SPARKY 156.24-104.94
Heroes of the Week: WR Ja'Marr Chase (52.2, Brett), RB Travis Etienne (36.6, Cole), QB Justin Fields (32.98, Hoefs)
Waiver Wonders: RB Zack Moss (33.5), WR Adam Thielen (27.7), QB Jared Goff (27.44)
Benchwarmers of the Week: WR D.J. Moore (49, Alec), WR George Pickens (26.6, Alec), QB Joe Burrow (23.38, Gabe)
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Andrew Harnik/AP
Benchwarmer of the Week: WR D.J. Moore (Tax Paying Homeowner) |
Upcoming Week 6 Schedule for both WRBL and NFL (in CST)
HOEFS v. ANDY
NICK v. GABE
SPARKY v. COLE
ALEC v. BRETT
Thursday @ 7:15 PM: Denver @ Kansas City
SUNDAY MORNING @ 8:30 AM IN LONDON: Tennessee v. Baltimore
Sunday @ NOON: San Francisco @ Cleveland
Seattle @ Cincinnati
Minnesota @ Chicago
Carolina @ Miami
Indianapolis @ Jacksonville
New Orleans @ Houston
Washington @ Atlanta
Sunday @ 3:05 PM: New England @ Las Vegas
Sunday @ 3:25 PM: Philadelphia @ NY Jets
Detroit @ Tampa Bay
Arizona @ LA Rams
Sunday @ 7:20 PM: NY Giants @ Buffalo
Monday @ 7:15 PM: Dallas @ LA Chargers
BYES: Green Bay Packers and Pittsburgh Steelers
Scoring Leaders
QB
Josh Allen 118.28 (Cole)
Jalen Hurts 109.08 (Nick)
Patrick Mahomes 98.88 (Sparky)
Justin Herbert 95.8 (Alec)
Lamar Jackson 95.7 (Brett)
Justin Fields 90.16 (Hoefs)
Trevor Lawrence 73.52 (Andy)
Kirk Cousins 55.1 (Gabe)
Joe Burrow 18.56 (Gabe)
Dak Prescott 14.36 (Hoefs)
C.J. Stroud 14.16 (Alec)
RB
Christian McCaffrey 133.8 (Alec)
Travis Etienne 92 (Cole)
Bijan Robinson 82 (Andy)
Josh Jacobs 77.8 (Brett)
Tony Pollard 74.6 (Cole)
Derrick Henry 67.98 (Hoefs)
Isiah Pacheco 62 (Gabe)
Joe Mixon 59.8 (Nick)
James Cook 47.8 (Hoefs)
James Conner 47.4 (Gabe)
Alexander Mattison 46.6 (Nick)
Rachaad White 46.2 (Andy)
Kenneth Walker 44.5 (Cole)
Kyren Williams 43.9 (Alec)
Rhamondre Stevenson 43.1 (Brett)
Jahmyr Gibbs 38.9 (Sparky)
Saquon Barkley 36.5 (Gabe)
Aaron Jones 29.1 (Sparky)
Breece Hall 28.4 (Andy)
Austin Ekeler 26.4 (Gabe)
Miles Sanders 23.4 (Nick)
Nick Chubb 23.1 (Nick)
De'Von Achane 21.5 (Nick)
David Montgomery 20.9 (Brett)
Alvin Kamara 18.7 (Hoefs)
Jaylen Warren 10.9 (Gabe)
A.J. Dillon 10.6 (Sparky)
Najee Harris 10.6 (Alec)
Jerome Ford 9.5 (Andy)
Javonte Williams 7.8 (Cole)
Dameon Pierce 6.7 (Hoefs)
Jonathan Taylor 4.4 (Nick)
Dalvin Cook 2.3 (Sparky)
WR
Tyreek Hill 122.5 (Hoefs)
Stefon Diggs 119 (Cole)
Ja'Marr Chase 109.8 (Brett)
Justin Jefferson 109.1 (Sparky)
Keenan Allen 102.96 (Nick)
A.J. Brown 101.1 (Hoefs)
Davante Adams 99.2 (Alec)
CeeDee Lamb 70.9 (Sparky)
Amon-Ra St. Brown 69.5 (Andy)
Calvin Ridley 68.7 (Andy)
Mike Evans 64.7 (Andy)
DeVonta Smith 64 (Gabe)
Puka Nacua 63.6 (Nick)
Chris Olave 62.8 (Hoefs)
DeAndre Hopkins 61.6 (Sparky)
DK Metcalf 56.8 (Alec)
Chris Godwin 48.5 (Gabe)
Deebo Samuel 48.5 (Brett)
Jaylen Waddle 47.3 (Cole)
Michael Pittman Jr. 45 (Brett)
Brandon Aiyuk 37.9 (Alec)
Amari Cooper 33.9 (Gabe)
Garrett Wilson 30.7 (Brett)
Tyler Lockett 28.9 (Nick)
Cooper Kupp 19.8 (Nick)
Jordan Addison 18.4 (Andy)
Marquise Brown 16.1 (Andy)
Zay Flowers 12.3 (Gabe)
Terry McLaurin 8.9 (Alec)
Nico Collins 6.9 (Cole)
D.J. Moore 4.5 (Alec)
Tee Higgins 4.1 (Cole)
TE
Travis Kelce 67.2 (Nick)
T.J. Hockenson 65.4 (Alec)
Mark Andrews 60.5 (Andy)
George Kittle 56.5 (Sparky)
Evan Engram 55 (Hoefs)
Sam LaPorta 51.7 (Cole)
Dallas Goedert 47.5 (Gabe)
David Njoku 27.8 (Brett)
Darren Waller 16.6 (Brett)
Tyler Higbee 7.9 (Nick)
Pat Freiermuth 7.3 (Cole)
Kyle Pitts 6.4 (Andy)
Luke Musgrave 4.5 (Cole)
K
Jake Elliott 69 (Hoefs)
Tyler Bass 52 (Cole)
Harrison Butker 46 (Alec)
Evan McPherson 42 (Nick)
Younghoe Koo 34 (Andy)
Riley Patterson 31 (Brett)
Justin Tucker 29 (Sparky)
Daniel Carlson 22 (Gabe)
Greg Zuerlein 11 (Brett)
DF
Dallas Cowboys 71 (Nick)
Buffalo Bills 60 (Brett)
Pittsburgh Steelers 56 (Hoefs)
New York Jets 48 (Gabe)
San Francisco 49ers 41 (Sparky)
Philadelphia Eagles 39 (Andy)
Denver Broncos 25 (Cole)
Miami Dolphins 25 (Alec)
New England Patriots 8 (Cole)
Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose, no divisions)
Live.Laugh.Olave. 4-1
Scott's Many Endeavors 4-1
Colieveland 96ers 4-1
Tax Paying Homeowner 3-2
Jordan Addison's Dog 2-3
Lord Pretty Flacco Joey 2-3
Dad Weights And Protein Shakes 1-4
Stoltzya's Electric Orcas 0-5
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