Wisconsin Rapids Bro League
Our eighth official season of blaming Cole Walters for using ayahuasca instead of studying.
Bro...
Apologies for the late entry into Bro League lore this week but, I was busy battling a sudden stomach bug (probably caused by watching the Denver Broncos again) and taking in as much NBA League Pass as I could before football took over my time off again. I'll keep it relatively short this week and instead of digging deep into DeAndre Hopkins being the only relevant Thursday Night fantasy option all season (He's LITERALLY the only fresh injury-free body!), I'll just bring up a recent encounter I had. At a grocery store in Marshfield, I recently ran into one Cathy Tritz! After informing her of my post-high school doings and sadly informing her I had no speeches prepared for anybody anytime soon, The former UW-Eau Claire Blugold student informed me that this is likely her final year teaching Speech. Father Todd shook his head in distress when I informed him of this as he is still hanging on for a couple more years while his classmate that roomed across the hall from him back in 1970-whatever (1978? 79?) was hanging up her podium (It will likely be placed on the world's strongest brand of hooks) and spending her life... idk, picking apples and grocery shopping? No matter how old I seem to get, I cannot picture former teachers of mine in real-life environments with actual hobbies. Does Tritz play fantasy football? She'll have the time in 2023! Let's get her in! Perhaps, Cole could teach speech after he wins it all this year and leaves nothing left to prove? Imagine the fiery deliveries of our future leaders if they were infused with the Walters-like delivery to captivate a crowd!
Steven Nett Division
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 5-1 W1 (865.6)
Here Dad Weights (Jaime Sparkes AKA: Sparky) 2-4 L1 (760.14)
Stoltzya's Electric Orcas (Gabe Stoltz) 2-4 L2 (689.88)
Yeezy Taught Me (Nathaniel Hoefs) 1-5 L1 (641.36)
Shooter McGavin Division
Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 5-1 W3 (806.96)
The Rule of Law (Andy Todd) 4-2 W4 (756.92)
Scott's Many Endeavors (Nick Zurawski) 3-3 W1 (717.88)
Kyler's Study Buddies (Brett Weinfurter) 2-4 L3 (747.7)
Week Six Final Scores
COLE defeats SPARKY 131.26-121.42
ALEC defeats BRETT 118.1-109.1
NICK defeats GABE 133.2-101.02
ANDY defeats HOEFS 136-62.88
Heroes of the Week: QB Joe Burrow (32.5, Alec), WR Ja'Marr Chase (32.2, Sparky), WR Stefon Diggs (30.8, Cole)
Waiver Wonders: RB Deon Jackson (28.1), QB Matt Ryan (27.16), TE Mike Gesicki (24.9)
Benchwarmers of the Week: WR Brandon Aiyuk (28.3, Alec), RB Rhamondre Stevenson (25.1, Cole), RB Kenyan Drake (19.7, Sparky)
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(AP/Gerald Herbert)
Heroes of the Week: WR Ja'Marr Chase (#1, Kyler's Study Buddies) & QB Joe Burrow (#9, Tax Paying Homeowner) |
Upcoming Week 7 Schedule: WRBL & NFL
Cole v. Alec
Gabe v. Andy
Brett v. Nick
Hoefs v. Sparky
THURSDAY @ 7:15 PM CT: New Orleans @ Arizona
Noon CT: Detroit @ Dallas
Cleveland @ Baltimore
Indianapolis @ Tennessee
Tampa Bay @ Carolina
Green Bay @ Washington
Atlanta @ Cincinnati
NY Giants @ Jacksonville
3:05 PM CT: NY Jets @ Denver
Houston @ Las Vegas
3:25 PM CT: Kansas City @ San Francisco
Seattle @ LA Chargers
SNF @ 7:20 PM CT: Pittsburgh @ Miami
MNF @ 7:15 PM CT: Chicago @ New England
BYES: Philadelphia Eagles, Buffalo Bills, Minnesota Vikings, Los Angeles Rams
Scoring Leaders
QB
Josh Allen 172.9 (Cole)
Lamar Jackson 146.18 (Nick)
Patrick Mahomes 142.64 (Sparky)
Jalen Hurts 121.14 (Brett)
Kyler Murray 97.62 (Hoefs)
Russell Wilson 88.38 (Gabe)
Trevor Lawrence 40.9 (Andy)
Tom Brady 39.52 (Andy/Hoefs)
Justin Herbert 23.26 (Brett)
Jimmy Garoppolo 8.44 (Andy)
RB
Austin Ekeler 138 (Sparky)
Saquon Barkley 124.1 (Cole)
Christian McCaffrey 118 (Andy)
Leonard Fournette 113.5 (Nick)
Derrick Henry 92.9 (Andy)
Josh Jacobs 88.6 (Alec)
Dalvin Cook 87 (Nick)
Aaron Jones 80.2 (Brett)
Breece Hall 73.7 (Brett/Cole)
Nick Chubb 71.4 (Gabe)
Joe Mixon 61.4 (Gabe)
David Montgomery 51.9 (Alec)
D'Andre Swift 50.8 (Hoefs)
Jonathan Taylor 50.2 (Gabe)
Najee Harris 44 (Nick)
Antonio Gibson 43.1 (Gabe)
Javonte Williams 42 (Cole)
Jeff Wilson Jr. 34.1 (Hoefs)
Alvin Kamara 33.3 (Sparky)
James Robinson 29.4 (Hoefs)
Miles Sanders 28 (Cole/Brett)
Ezekiel Elliott 26.3 (Andy)
Clyde Edwards-Helaire 22.3 (Sparky)
Melvin Gordon 20.4 (Cole)
Dameon Pierce 20.3 (Andy)Kenneth Walker 19 (Andy)
Kareem Hunt 18.5 (Brett)
Khalil Herbert 11.1 (Alec)
James Conner 7.1 (Nick)
Raheem Mostert 5.8 (Hoefs)
Jamaal Williams 5.6 (Nick)
Elijah Mitchell 4.1 (Hoefs)
J.K. Dobbins 1.5 (Alec)
Rashaad Penny 1.5 (Hoefs)
Kenyan Drake 0.8 (Sparky)
WR
Stefon Diggs 150.6 (Cole)
Cooper Kupp 148.8 (Hoefs)
Tyreek Hill 133.9 (Gabe)
Justin Jefferson 132.62 (Alec)
Ja'Marr Chase 108.7 (Brett)
Davante Adams 100.4 (Brett)
A.J. Brown 95.3 (Nick)
Deebo Samuel 91.1 (Alec)
CeeDee Lamb 87.4 (Hoefs)
Michael Pittman Jr. 85.7 (Sparky)
Jaylen Waddle 83.6 (Cole)
Marquise Brown 82.4 (Andy)
Courtland Sutton 80.6 (Gabe)
Mike Evans 77.8 (Andy)
Terry McLaurin 66.5 (Alec)
Christian Kirk 66.2 (Sparky)
Mike Williams 57.6 (Sparky)
DeVonta Smith 38.8 (Gabe)
Brandin Cooks 33.9 (Cole)
Tyler Lockett 33.4 (Andy)
Drake London 32.6 (Brett)
Diontae Johnson 30.4 (Nick)
Tee Higgins 23.8 (Sparky)
D.J. Moore 23.8 (Hoefs)
Amon-Ra St. Brown 19.1 (Nick)
Allen Lazard 17.6 (Cole)
Gabe Davis 16.4 (Nick)
JuJu Smith-Schuster 15.9 (Andy)
DK Metcalf 12.9 (Brett)
Chris Godwin 12.3 (Hoefs)
Keenan Allen 10.6 (Brett)
Curtis Samuel 10.4 (Hoefs)
TE
Travis Kelce 131 (Alec)
Mark Andrews 114.8 (Andy)
Dallas Goedert 67.7 (Sparky)
T.J. Hockenson 65.8 (Cole)
Zach Ertz 52 (Brett)
Darren Waller 39.5 (Brett/Nick)
Tyler Higbee 27.4 (Hoefs)
Kyle Pitts 25 (Gabe)
Dalton Schultz 15 (Nick)
Dawson Knox 12.7 (Nick)
George Kittle 11.2 (Hoefs)
Gerald Everett 9.1 (Gabe)
Hayden Hurst 5.1 (Cole)
K
Daniel Carlson 62 (Nick)
Justin Tucker 59 (Sparky)
Brandon McManus 54 (Alec)
Evan McPherson 54 (Brett)
Tyler Bass 48 (Cole)
Ryan Succop 48 (Andy)
Graham Gano 25 (Hoefs)
Matt Gay 22 (Hoefs)
Jake Elliott 16 (Gabe)
Jason Myers 13 (Nick)
Harrison Butker 9 (Gabe)
Rodrigo Blankenship 8 (Andy)
Younghoe Koo 4 (Gabe)
DF
Buffalo Bills 63 (Sparky)
San Francisco 49ers 59 (Gabe)
Dallas Cowboys 56 (Brett)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 51 (Alec)
Denver Broncos 36 (Cole)
Green Bay Packers 30 (Hoefs)
Baltimore Ravens 29 (Nick)
Los Angeles Rams 26 (Andy)
Los Angeles Chargers 7 (Nick)
Chicago Bears 6 (Cole)
New Orleans Saints 6 (Cole)
Indianapolis Colts 5 (Andy)
Pittsburgh Steelers 5 (Nick)
Miami Dolphins -1 (Nick)
Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose, no divisions)
Colieveland 96ers 6-0
The Rule of Law 4-2
Tax Paying Homeowner 3-3
Here Dad Weights 3-3
Kyler's Study Buddies 3-3
Scott's Many Endeavors 2-4
Stoltzya's Electric Orcas 2-4
Yeezy Taught Me 1-5
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