2016 WRBL Year In Review

It started out with a burger, how did it end up like this? It was only a burger. It was only a burger. The 2016 Wisconsin Rapids River Rafters' season was one that saw unimaginable heights reached and left the glorious label of "Northwoods League Champions" on the small city (or is it a large town?) of Wiscompton Trapids forever. Another consequence that nobody saw coming was how the Rafters' run decided the 3rd semi-official season of our Wisconsin Rapids Bro League, the gentlemen's (and Cole's) fantasy football league of central Wisconsin. (More on that in a bit)

"I must say that that seemed like a most unnecessary dig at Cole's character" "I would concur with this sentiment if you weren't wearing so many unnecessary layers of clothing, sir".

As the first annual holder of the trophy that shall not be named (should we change the name now that the namesake is engaged? I'm just here to start a discussion, not a war), I could tell that the fellow owner whose eyes would not leave the trophy and whose mouth would salivate to the point of drooling every time I let him near the trophy was Cole Walters. Whether it was that one time at Zurawski headquarters when I was trying to construct the GOAT NBA 2K team with DeMarcus Cousins and Dwight Howard but Cole was too busy asking to hold the trophy or any of the many times he gave an envious 'like' on my many Facebook photos featuring the silver football-like figure, dude was thirsty for victory.

Coincidentally, I was super hungry once upon a time at a Rafters playoff game and Cole Walters happened to be sitting nearby so, when the man, the myth and the legend rose to his feet during an intermission to retrieve food, I said "Yo, I'll trade you a late-round draft pick for a cheeseburger". The WRBL draft was still at least one month away and I didn't expect him to consider the offer at the cost of actual, physical money (cheeseburgers were not cheap during the burger famine of 2016). Alas, Cole returned with said burger and I was impressed by his dedication for any slight advantage over the rest of the league so far away from the draft.

"Tastes like a losing season and not at all bribery."

Draft night took place at Buffalo Wild Wings (AKA: Backup league headquarters behind the Aschebrook household) and with no device to draft on, clearly I was ALL IN on HALF-ASSING the entire season. Luckily the Aschebrook family pulled through in the clutch again as Scott had his cracked laptop all ready for me to draft with. It took me a while to finally obtain a tablet of my own but, I happen to be using one to write this whole review #WeMadeIt. Six owners were present on draft night as were the trophy, a shit ton of television screens and obviously, wings galore. Moon and Sneen couldn't be there but, you could argue that was just foreshadowing for the season ahead.

The draft's order was randomly generated by ESPN and shockingly, I held the first pick. The second pick belonged to Cole and since I figured he had forgotten about his good cheeseburger deed, that nudged my brain into overdrive with the #1 overall pick. Before the draft even began, I wrote down Antonio Brown's name on the trading block, hoping that Cole would bite and throw out some wild offer just like the Eagles and Rams did in the 2016 NFL Draft but, there were no buyers anywhere at the table or in the online draft room. The 90-second countdown began and I panicked in a way I had never reacted before or since.

Sure, I would have loved to have won the league again but, I would also love to wake up in bed next to Rooney Mara and Cara DeLevingne (with hair). I was undecided between two players, my obvious #1 player on everyone's radar, Antonio Brown and a personal favorite from my victorious fantasy team and someone that won me a Rookie of the Year plaque in another league, Todd Gurley. I decided that it was best for league parity and a nod of respect for the great Cole Walters that I let him take the superior player while I had fun staying loyal to my 2015 team featuring Gurley, Tom Brady and Delanie Walker. It wasn't quite as fun as I had envisioned due to some extremely mediocre Gurley production but, I have no regerts.

I was eating a Milky Way during that last sentence.

The rest of the draft went smoothly and with preseason football clouding our brains from every angle, the hype for Browns' receiver Josh Gordon was higher than it ever was coming into the draft or since that night. The draft was great and all and the food was an added bonus but, trust me when I say that Josh Gordon was the real story of the evening much like Rihanna was the real story of game 1 of the NBA Finals this year. Scott was the "lucky" owner to land the previously-troubled talent and claimed "I saw the way Andy was looking at him on TV, I could see the lust in his eyes". Now, I'm not great at reading other people's emotions but, I could tell Scott was at least a tiny bit pumped to select Gordon and I was just a tiny bit amused when Gordon didn't play a down all season. I wish nothing but the best for Gordon in his future battles against whatever it is that's keeping him off the field and I hope that Scott keeps up his annual "THE FINAL SHOE HAS YET TO DROP" additions of injured/suspended players.

Prior to week one's kickoff between Denver and Carolina (A Super Bowl 50 rematch), Cole visibly forfeited the season by sending Mark Ingram to Scott for another, lesser RB C.J. Anderson. How this did not derail the Walters' train, I will never know. Anderson was lost for the season in week 7 while Ingram only went on to rush for 1,000 yards and scored 10 touchdowns in total. Surprisingly, this was the only trade made between the draft and week one, compared to last season's three trades including major names like Adrian Peterson, Julio Jones and Demaryius Thomas.

The 2016 season kicked with a whimper on a Thursday night that saw the mediocre, Trevor Siemian-led Broncos face off against the eventually terrible Panthers. I'd give you a result for the game but, neither team was noteworthy at any point during the season and I'm going to sleep just thinking about them. Thursday night games continued to bore fans and casual viewers of the league alike and despite the obvious money and ratings grabbing that are keeping TNF alive, one can't help but feel that the days of four-day rest periods for NFL teams is nearing an end sometime soon. The consensus is in and Thursday Night Football is a turd emoji.

Rule proposal: The loser of the Sacko/Moon Bowl should have to wear this for the entirety of draft night. No breaks. Punishment for taking it off results in losses of draft picks. Good luck and Godspeed.

Week one settled the future of Cole Walters' interest in the WRBL as he made a bet with fellow owner Alec Swanson over their week one matchup. If Cole were to lose, he would have quit the league immediately and we'd have to find someone to replace him. If Alec lost... I'm still not sure what the other end of this bet was but, Cole had a tremendous week and Alec supercast shuffled into a corner, where he sobbed uncontrollably. 184-136 was one of the highest point totals we saw between two teams this season and it was all thanks to Antonio Brown (32), Brandin Cooks (33) and recently-acquired C.J. Anderson (29), that Cole was able to continue to defend his honor after a sketchy last-place finish in 2015.

Team Moon had a regular season win streak (dating back to 2015) extended to 9 games with a weak 96-85 victory over Sneen and his rusted machine. At the time, Evan was still fully focused on his lineup and a surprise performance from TE Julius Thomas was enough for victory. I managed to fall for Ameer Abdullah and his ridiculous week one numbers again as he aided me in a 127-point effort that was futile against GREATEST FANTASY FOOTBALL TEAM OWNER ALIVE Scott Aschebrook and sneaky DeAngelo Williams, benefiting off of Le'Veon Bell's suspension. Also, Nick got destroyed by Darrin because we as a league respect our elders. Week 1 is always great for overreaction and shockingly, most of the overreactions from week 1 held on to be true.

Week 2 saw Buffalo take an early lead in the organizational dysfunction rankings (there's a future blog idea) with a pathetic loss to the Jets featuring no defense (Curse you, Ryan brothers!) and the far too early firing of offensive coordinator Greg Roman. Things weren't terrible all season long for the Bills but, they still missed the postseason and canned both Ryans. Minnesota looked amazing against Green Bay as Sam Bradford finally reached his potential after less than twenty days as a Viking and a minor hand injury (he is Sam Bradford after all). The purple and gold had their moments but, with Adrian Peterson and many, many other starters ending up on Injured Reserve, Mike Zimmer's team just missed out on the playoffs.

Rumor has it that the Ryan brothers hired clones to coach for them after week two as they tandem-biked their way to Bristol, Connecticut for their new roles at ESPN as analyzer (Rex) and scary janitor (Rob).

Scott's dad was the final remaining undefeated team and this time it only took two weeks for the rest of the league to show cracks in their foundations. Moon took a shit in his team's bed and decided to leave it there for the rest of the season, Alec was too heavily reliant on current and former Bears like Matt Forte' and Alshon Jeffery, my love for Ameer Abdullah was misguided again, Scott had his lineup set up perfectly for leagues that ignored tight ends, Nick had multiple killer injuries at receiver in a PPR league and Cole was Cole so, we all KNEW he wouldn't win.

In terms of obvious results, Cole blowing his odds at winning the league in epic fashion ranked somewhere behind the Patriots succeeding without Tom Brady for four games. The pinnacle of Bill Belichick being a genius was his Jacoby Brissett-led team defeating Houston and BROCK LOBSTER 27-0. It was either one of the most well-coached games I've ever seen or just another awful Thursday night game (Please do something about this, NFL). After #Ballghazi2015, it took the NFL and the United States Court System a full year to decide that it was okay for the face of the league to get suspended for slight alterations to game balls. To quote Chester Pennington of Linkin Park, "In the end... it doesn't even matter". The team went 3-1 with Jimmy Garrapolo and the rookie, Brissett under center.

Week 3 also saw it's share of tragedies, not excluding an 80+ point loss by Alec. Hopefully the lone married (let's just pretend Darrin doesn't exist for this point) member of the league takes solace in knowing he has found the one while I and many others are simply married to our fantasy teams. At least I had Tom Brady and his excessively creepy mattress commercials to warm my heart through difficult moments.

"Leave now, for I must deflate the shit out of this mattress"

Drew Brees was more than adequate as Brady's suspension-relief quarterback and his 24 points week 3 were a highlight that should have caused a rise in trade offers for the annual 5,000 yard thrower. Unfortunately for Brees, his NFL team was just as mediocre as his WRBL team and a 5,208-yard season was only good enough for another 7-9 season.

You wouldn't have guessed that Julio Jones' 300-yard game was enough to end Darrin's undefeated run just by looking at Scott's temporary team name. Alas, Julio Beat That Undefeatedteam beat that undefeated team in week four by a surprisingly large margin (a largin?) of 160-116. Even with some future games off due to injury, the Jones-led Falcons thrived and finally pulled together a full season, only to lose in the most Falconesque of fashions on the nation's biggest stage.

The Warriors and Indians blowing 3-1 leads were one thing but, this was ridiculous.

The Cardinals of Arizona may have pissed away an entire season thanks to the PTSD of Carson Palmer's NFC Championship performance the previous season but, one bright spot on the team was RB David Johnson, the #1 fantasy player in 2016. Johnson was a major piece in Nick Zurawski's record-setting week 5 performance that saw our resident Dolphins fan put up 185 points on Scott's tots. Another player that had a breakthrough fantasy season was fellow Zurawski-owned weapon WR T.Y. Hilton, a steady fantasy option that shockingly led the league in receiving yards despite another missed postseason for Hilton's Colts.

Scott's dad somehow managed to tear his meniscus in week five and that only made him stronger as a fantasy owner since he had more downtime to destroy Cole. Moon "forgot" to set his lineup and suffered the appropriate consequences despite my lackluster battle of mediocrity that October weekend. Overall, week 5 was a sign that this was no ordinary season but, a sign of unexpected times ahead in both fantasy and reality.

Week 6 was not the most interesting week and I began to phone in the season as I experienced a relaxing Sunday without football while salty Cold Saltwaters dropped to 2-4, last place in his division and changed his team name to "Fuck The Playoff System". I'm not sure what type of playoff criteria would let in a 2-4 team but, there was still a ton of season remaining.

David Johnson's 3-touchdown performance in week six basically locked him in as the #1 fantasy running back of 2016. DJ may have guided Nick Zurawski to the playoffs but, his mediocre Cardinals could not be saved.

Up until the seventh week of the season, we had no disastrous lineup decisions that made or destroyed any team's playoff odds. All it took was one NFC North game to alter the season and my personal interest in a repeat championship. Leaving two twenty-point Packer receivers on the bench versus an ineffective Aaron Rodgers (which rarely EVER happens) was the defining moment of my 2016 fantasy season. Not to mention, Jordy Nelson forever locked himself in on my shit list and Cameron Meredith over any Packer was not even defensible pre-game.

The Bears really sucked with Matt Barkley and Brian Hoyer having to play a majority of the season and Alec's fantasy team also suffered as a result. Chicago's Alshon Jeffery and poopy Jacksonville's Allen Robinson put up a combined 8 points while former-Bear Matt Forte' went on a tear on Mr. Swanson's bench. With one simple, obvious choice, either one of us could have altered the courses of later reality and Sneen or TyRod Henke could have taken the eventual king's playoff seed. What a disgrace.

Alec and I must now wear the cone of shame for our week 7 sins.

After an 0-for-2 start, Nick Zurawski had ridden T.Y. Hilton and David Johnson to a 5-for-5 run. Nick's NFL team was similarly streaky with the Miami Dolphins propelling into the playoffs thanks to a six-game winning streak after a 1-4 start. The 'fins were a fun little underdog until Ryan Tannehill suffered a partially torn ACL and the defensive backs dropped like flies. RB Jay Ajayi was the real story of the season however, with four separate 200-yard games after landing in Adam Gase's doghouse in favor of since-retired Arian Foster.

Z's five-week hot streak came to an end at the hands of GOAT regular season owner, Darrin Aschebrook (7-1 at the time) in week eight. Aaron Rodgers captained the Chowhounds to victory during an epic future NFC Championship preview that saw Atlanta victorious by one point. The division that had Alec, Cole, Scott and I was crowded while the other division seemed decided early with Nick and Darrin rolling over everyone in their paths.

Ezekiel Elliott and the Cowboys also rolled over their schedule with their all-rookie backfield yet, Zeke did not have that much of an impact on the WRBL postseason race due to a trade that nearly defined the season. Worthless Moon and his irrelevant team made a trade with Scott where Elliott, Amari Cooper, Justin Tucker and the (insert new owner here)'s team's 10th and 11th went to Scott for nobody RB Terrance West, Dustin Hopkins, a first rounder and Scott's fourth pick. It was seen as wildly unfair even after going through as a legal trade. Collusion whispers were enough to make Scott bench Elliott and Cooper after one wildly impressive week but, sneaky Scott left the best kicker in football, Justin Tucker, sit in his lineup. Meanwhile, the Moon rolled over and died.

Tucker's Ravens had a season filled with injuries (again) yet, somehow stayed alive until Antonio Brown's shocking last-minute game-winning touchdown on Christmas. An 8-8 season is never something to be wildly happy about but, I was totally okay with avoiding the Sacko/Moon during mine. Ultimately, Baltimore's season went okay while Cincinnati imploded and finished 6-9-1 after making and losing in four consecutive postseasons. The Browns were the Browns (1-15) and the Steelers still can't make a Super Bowl with the best offensive trio in the NFL (Roethlisberger, Bell and Brown). It's unfortunate that the AFC North was a snoozer but, at least the Browns have a plan going and with names like Bell, Brown, Isaiah Crowell and A.J. Green, there still is use for the AFC North.

One can only wonder how great Pittsburgh could have been with the suspended Martavis Bryant.

Between Mike Evans' 38-point Thursday night showing and new addition Ezekiel Elliott's 22-point "I'm saving my best for the tough games" performance versus the Browns, it's easy to see how Scott put up 186 against Alec's highly impressive 161 in week nine. Alec responded by adding another Bear in rookie standout Jordan Howard and while the Swanson brand (tm) never recovered, Howard excelled on an otherwise worthless team once Alshon Jeffery was suspended for PED usage. In return, the now 6-3 Moon's Microdongs (owned by Nick Zurawski) acquired a package that included Zurawski favorite Andrew Luck.

Luck's Colts failed to win the AFC South again, this time due to a Texans team that was nearly decapitated by errant Brock Lobster passes and the exciting rising force that are the Mike Mularkey-led Titans (words I never thought I'd have to use in a real sentence. As the second half of the season begun, the Titans became a very real AFC threat with their run-oriented offense and every carry DeMarco Murray took as an Eagle was immediately forgotten. Tennessee may have barely missed the playoffs but, 2016 was a resounding success.

In week ten, Scott agreed to bench Elliott and Cooper for the remainder of the season to satisfy the TRIGGERED league owners but, Justin Tucker remained in Bought Not Built's lineup. The tenth week was notable for many reasons as the Broncos defeated the Saints on a blocked extra point that turned into a two-point conversion, Swanson's newest player, Jordan Howard, fumbled and lost two points in what was a two-point loss to TyRod Henke and only shitty Moon scored fewer than 100 points that week, dropping 98 and ending up two points short. Two was the number of the week in week ten. Two was also Chip Kelly's win total as the head coach of the 49ers, which led to his firing immediately following the regular season.

Surprisingly, the entire NFC West was uncompetitive as the Seahawks ran away with the division as Carson Palmer was forever unhinged by his 2015 playoff performance, the Rams were young, dumb and coached by Jeff Fisher and the Niners were more focused on politics than their play. Seattle went on to lose in the second round of the postseason to Atlanta and they still cannot develop an offensive line.

Anthem protests and lowered TV ratings defined another generic NFL season dominated by New England.

Week 11 made it apparent that nobody wanted the 4th seed in the WRBL playoffs. SNEEN MACHINE, Cole's Fuck The Playoff System and my TyRod Henke were all tied for the final playoff spot with losing records (5-6). Darrin and his Aaron Rodgers had dropped two in a row but, 8-3 still locked him into a playoff spot. Jordy Nelson finished two yards short of tying Moon's Microdongs, thus tying Nick and Darrin at 8-3 in their division.

Speaking of divisions, the AFC West is about to see a ton of change with the Raiders headed to Las Vegas in 2020, the Chargers playing for Los Angeles next season and the Chiefs and Broncos will likely transition to younger quarterbacks in the very near future as Alex Smith still can't outdo his replacement, Kaepernick, by making a Super Bowl in the starting lineup. The Chargers fell to the injury bug again in 2016 with their entire defense seemingly on IR alongside Keenan Allen. The Raiders were suddenly America's team until week 16 when both Derek Carr and the Titans' Marcus Mariota flukishly broke one of their legs. Connor Cook could not outdo the Brock Lobster in the finest quarterback duel the NFL playoffs will ever see.

 Week 12 was just as exciting as the last week before the last week before the last week before the WRBL playoffs should be. The 5-6 trio tied for 4th turned into a 6-6 solo of Cole Walters when his Davante Adams held off Aschebrook Sr.'s Aaron Rodgers. That Packers-Eagles game where Davante Adams caught 28 fantasy points of Walters' approved chaos likely defined the entire season. It wasn't Tom Brady leading my evil empire to a second championship in a row, it wasn't Scott becoming the Ladanian Tomlinson-era Chargers (All the excitement in the world with nothing to show), it wasn't even Moon becoming the Black Sox and being at least suspended from our league. Davante Adams was the 2016 WHY IS THIS THE GUY THAT'S IMPORTANT NOW, WTF HAPPENED? version of Tim Hightower.

Adams provided a helpful nudge in the proper direction for the Walters Revolution of 2016.

The Jets regressed in a way everybody saw coming (QB turnover issues), the Texans rode a J.J. Watt-less defense to the playoffs, the Jaguars stunk again, the Eagles were both younger and more promising under Doug Pederson than Chip Kelly's 2015 roster, Washington was just mediocre enough to make another season's worth of excuses for not signing Kirk Cousins long-term, the Giants rebuilt their defense into becoming one of the league's finest units only to drop their playoff game in Lambeau Field (literally), the Lions provided the most consistent challenge to Green Bay despite relying on Zach Zenner and Dwayne Washington in the backfield, the Buccaneers improved under first-year coach Dirk Koetter and the jambalaya the Saints were cooking up was more of a tomato bisque because that defense has never been the same since they won their Super Bowl 7 years ago.

Team Chowhounds, Moon's Microdongs, Bought Not Built and Fuck The Playoff System all made the playoffs while Sneen, Alec, myself and Moon all threw things at our televisions once it became apparent we let Cole into the playoffs and yadayadayada... Cole Walters was crowned the 2016 Wisconsin Rapids Bro League Champion as he quite literally fucked the entire playoff system. Cole's to-do list every morning reads like this...

1. Borrow the Suburban
2, Build up a 96-point deficit
3. Fuck The Playoff System

Some might say I just yadayada'd the best part and to that I say...

Also, this is a severe copout for the Year In Review being rushed due to a suddenly scheduled draft that was simultaneously convenient and inconvenient because I'm a procrastinator that also works five days a week and if Cole does not appreciate me short-changing his postseason run, he can either write up a review of his own or continue fucking the playoff system. Travis Kelce was great, Dak Prescott was clutch and Antonio Brown won me a free cheeseburger.

Also, Sneen won/lost the MoonBak in a result we will ignore until we find a proper reward for such an accomplishment.

Final Regular Season Standings
Fisher Division
Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 10-4 W2
Moon's Microdongs (Nick Zurawski) 10-4 W2
SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 7-7 L1
Team Moon (Evan Moon) 1-13 L13

Fassel Division

Bought Not Built (Scott Aschebrook) 11-3 W6

Fuck The Playoff System (Cole Walters) 7-7 W1

TyRod Henke (Andy Todd) 6-8 L2

Team Swanson (Alec Swanson) 4-10 L3

Cole took The Shelby to work. RIP MC Sports.

Once he took the trophy to work, our champion ran into Tom Zurawski.

The Shelby apparently took a road trip with Dave Walters Sr. Jr. IV

The Shelby got her first experience tailgating in her second annual trip to Miller Park.

Friend of the league, Simon Stevenoski may never join us but, The Shelby is all too important a reward to continue ignoring.

Every WRBL member is a celebrity in their own right, past or present but, famous wrestler Jerry Lawler might be the only person with a Wikipedia page to meet our wondrous trophy of glory.

Things we blamed Cole Walters for in 2015

1. The ending of the movie, Titanic.

2. Brad Pitt's infidelities.

3. FIVE losing records in the WRBL.

4. That beer almost hitting Hyun-Soo Kim.

5. Those Neil Patrick Harris Heineken advertisements.

6. The Fonz jumping over a shark.

7. Fruit Stripes gum.

8. Youtube comments.

9. The catchy tune that is Aqua's "Barbie Girl".

10. Nickleback.

11. How some people pronounce the word "mature".

12. The lack of streaming options at the Tight End position.

13. Drake's "Views" being a Grammy nominee.
14. The alarming rate at which bees are dying.

15. The ESPN Fantasy app.

16. My GPS recognizing Nekoosa's finest snowmobile trails as fully-functioning roads.

Divisional Names by Week in 2016

1. Le'Veon & DeAngelo

2. Kornheiser & Wilbon

3. Earn & Paper Boi

4. Pancake & Waffle

5. Tolliver & Hobert

6. Hilton & Ritchie

7. Knope & Perkins

8. Harbaugh & Dantonio

9. Lombardi & Stram

10. Swae Lee & Slim Jxmmy

11. Thunder & Lightning

12. Bo Levi Mitchell & Henry Burriss

13. Sale & Price

14. Fisher & Fassel

15. -No divisional update due to PLAYOFFS-

16. -PLAYOFFS-

Final Standings
1st - Fuck The Playoff System (Cole Walters)
2nd - Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook)
3rd - Moon's Microdongs (Nick Zurawski)
4th - Kathy Walters + Scott = Forever (Scott Aschebrook)
5th - Team Moon (Evan Moon)
6th - Team Swanson (Alec Swanson)
7th - TyRod Henke (Andy Todd)
8th - SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen)

Team-by-Team Results

Key: Opponent's Name, Result. It's really that simple. 

Team Chowhounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 2nd, 10-4

Week 1 - Nick Zurawski W 133-96

Week 2 - Evan Moon W 131-105

Week 3 - Tyler Sneen W 149-107

Week 4 - Scott Aschebrook L 116-160

Week 5 - Cole Walters W 154-86

Week 6 - Alec Swanson W 113-88

Week 7 - Andy Todd W 117-104

Week 8 - Nick Zurawski W 135-92

Week 9 - Evan Moon W 128-71

Week 10 - Tyler Sneen L 120-127

Week 11 - Scott Aschebrook L 89-107

Week 12 - Cole Walters L 125-135

Week 13 - Alec Swanson W 133-87

Week 14 - Andy Todd W 97-84

Week 15 - #3 Nick Zurawski W 151-91
Week 16 - #4 Cole Walters L 113-129

Kathy Walters + Scott = Forever (Scott Aschebrook) 4th, 11-3

Week 1 - Andy Todd W 138-127

Week 2 - Alec Swanson L 129-138

Week 3 - Cole Walters W 124-98

Week 4 - Darrin Aschebrook W 160-116

Week 5 - Nick Zurawski L 124-185

Week 6 - Evan Moon W 132-118

Week 7 - Tyler Sneen W 144-79

Week 8 - Andy Todd L 96-124

Week 9 - Alec Swanson W 187-161

Week 10 - Cole Walters W 152-113

Week 11 - Darrin Aschebrook W 107-89

Week 12 - Nick Zurawski W 161-115

Week 13 - Evan Moon W 118-68

Week 14 - Tyler Sneen W 135-124

Week 15 - #4 Cole Walters L 112-119

Week 16 - #3 Nick Zurawski L 136-146

Team Moon (Evan Moon) 5th, 1-13

Week 1 - Tyler Sneen W 96-85

Week 2 - Darrin Aschebrook L 105-131

Week 3 - Nick Zurawski L 114-137

Week 4 - Alec Swanson L 89-126

Week 5 - Andy Todd L 116-134

Week 6 - Scott Aschebrook L 118-132

Week 7 - Cole Walters L 87-136

Week 8 - Tyler Sneen L 94-116

Week 9 - Darrin Aschebrook L 71-128

Week 10 - Nick Zurawski L 98-101

Week 11 - Alec Swanson L 52-79

Week 12 - Andy Todd L 95-109

Week 13 - Scott Aschebrook L 68-118

Week 14 - Cole Walters L 77-90

Week 15 - #5 Tyler Sneen W 115-95

Week 16 - #7 Alec Swanson W 103-95

SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 8th, 7-7

Week 1 - Evan Moon L 85-96

Week 2 - Nick Zurawski W 115-86

Week 3 - Darrin Aschebrook L 107-149

Week 4 - Cole Walters L 86-98

Week 5 - Alec Swanson L 93-127

Week 6 - Andy Todd W 160-113

Week 7 - Scott Aschebrook L 79-144

Week 8 - Evan Moon W 116-94

Week 9 - Nick Zurawski L 88-106

Week 10 - Darrin Aschebrook W 127-120

Week 11 - Cole Walters W 138-99

Week 12 - Alec Swanson W 154-97

Week 13 - Andy Todd W 138-106

Week 14 - Scott Aschebrook L 124-135

Week 15 - #8 Evan Moon L 95-115

Week 16 - #6 Andy Todd L 111-129

Team Swanson (Alec Swanson) 6th, 4-10

Week 1 - Cole Walters L 136-184

Week 2 - Scott Aschebrook W 138-129

Week 3 - Andy Todd L 71-154

Week 4 - Evan Moon W 126-89

Week 5 - Tyler Sneen W 127-93

Week 6 - Darrin Aschebrook W 113-88

Week 7 - Nick Zurawski L 129-140

Week 8 - Cole Walters L 126-132

Week 9 - Scott Aschebrook L 161-187

Week 10 - Andy Todd L 116-118

Week 11 - Evan Moon W 79-52

Week 12 - Tyler Sneen L 97-154

Week 13 - Darrin Aschebrook L 87-133

Week 14 - Nick Zurawski L 77-145

Week 15 - #6 Andy Todd W 76-68

Week 16 - #8 Evan Moon L 95-103

TyRod Henke (Andy Todd) 7th, 6-8

Week 1 - Scott Aschebrook L 127-138

Week 2 - Cole Walters W 106-94

Week 3 - Alec Swanson L 71-154

Week 4 - Nick Zurawski W 116-84

Week 5 - Evan Moon W 134-116

Week 6 - Tyler Sneen L 113-160

Week 7 - Darrin Aschebrook L 104-117

Week 8 - Scott Aschebrook W 124-96

Week 9 - Cole Walters L 92-152

Week 10 - Alec Swanson W 118-116

Week 11 - Nick Zurawski L 135-136

Week 12 - Evan Moon W 109-95

Week 13 - Tyler Sneen L 106-138

Week 14 - Darrin Aschebrook L 84-97

Week 15 - #7 Alec Swanson L 68-76

Week 16 - #5 Tyler Sneen W 129-111

Fuck The Playoff System (Cole Walters) CHAMPION, 7-7

Week 1 - Alec Swanson L 136-184

Week 2 - Andy Todd L 94-106

Week 3 - Scott Aschebrook L 98-124

Week 4 - Tyler Sneen W 98-86

Week 5 - Darrin Aschebrook L 86-154

Week 6 - Nick Zurawski L 86-129

Week 7 - Evan Moon W 136-87

Week 8 - Alec Swanson W 132-126

Week 9 - Andy Todd W 152-92

Week 10 - Scott Aschebrook L 113-152

Week 11 - Tyler Sneen L 99-138

Week 12 - Darrin Aschebrook W 135-125

Week 13 - Nick Zurawski L 127-133

Week 14 - Evan Moon W 90-77

Week 15 - #1 Scott Aschebrook W 119-112

Week 16 - #2 Darrin Aschebrook W 129-113

Moon's Microdongs (Nick Zurawski) 3rd, 10-4

Week 1 - Darrin Aschebrook L 96-133

Week 2 - Tyler Sneen L 86-115

Week 3 - Evan Moon W 137-114

Week 4 - Andy Todd W 116-84

Week 5 - Scott Aschebrook W 185-124

Week 6 - Cole Walters W 129-86

Week 7 - Alec Swanson W 140-129

Week 8 - Darrin Aschebrook L 92-135

Week 9 - Tyler Sneen W 106-88

Week 10 - Evan Moon W 101-98

Week 11 - Andy Todd W 136-135

Week 12 - Scott Aschebrook L 115-161

Week 13 - Cole Walters W 133-127

Week 14 - Alec Swanson W 145-77

Week 15 - #2 Darrin Aschebrook L 91-151

Week 16 - #1 Scott Aschebrook W 146-136

Player Scoring By Team

Key: * = Scored for another team as well.

Team ChowHounds

QB - Aaron Rodgers 331

QB - Andy Dalton 15

RB - LeSean McCoy 271

RB - Devonta Freeman 242

RB - Ty Montgomery 37*

RB - Darren Sproles 25

RB - Robert Kelley 16

RB - Ryan Mathews 14

WR - Larry Fitzgerald 225

WR - DeAndre Hopkins 155

WR - Mike Wallace 84

WR - Jordan Matthews 45
WR - Travis Benjamin 36
WR - Michael Thomas 24*
WR - Donte Moncrief 19*
TE - Greg Olsen 196
TE - Kyle Rudolph 10
K - Mason Crosby 85*
K - Steven Hauschka 42
DF - Denver Broncos 132

Kathy Walters + Scott = Forever
QB - Cam Newton 155
QB - Matt Ryan 150
RB - Le'Veon Bell 306
RB - DeMarco Murray 237
RB - Mark Ingram 87
RB - Ezekiel Elliott 69*
RB - DeAngelo Williams 64
RB - James White 15
RB - Kenneth Farrow 4
WR - Mike Evans 279
WR - Julio Jones 232
WR - Michael Crabtree 52
WR - Jeremy Maclin 36
WR - Taylor Gabriel 17
TE - Jimmy Graham 104
TE - Tyler Eifert 45
TE - Dennis Pitta 26
TE - Jason Witten 8*
TE - Jared Cook 1
K - Justin Tucker 92*
K - Dustin Hopkins 34
K - Mason Crosby 22*
DF - Arizona Cardinals 58
DF - Seattle Seahawks 56
DF - Minnesota Vikings 7*

Team Moon
QB - Carson Palmer 103
QB - Ben Roethlisberger 75*
RB - Ezekiel Elliott 114*
RB - Duke Johnson Jr. 103
RB - Jonathan Stewart 74
RB - Eddie Lacy 24
RB - Adrian Peterson 6
WR - Demaryius Thomas 212
WR - Doug Baldwin 144
WR - Amari Cooper 142
WR - Marvin Jones 53
WR - Sterling Shepard 40
WR - Corey Coleman 30
TE - Hunter Henry 62*
TE - Julius Thomas 53
K - Justin Tucker 78*
K - Wil Lutz 72
DF - Baltimore Ravens 82
DF - Kansas City Chiefs 33

SNEEN MACHINE
QB - Russell Wilson 78
QB - Marcus Mariota 72
QB - Matthew Stafford 50*
QB - Eli Manning 29
RB - Lamar Miller 179
RB - Christine Michael 90
RB - Theo Riddick 89
RB - Carlos Hyde 44*
RB - Giovani Bernard 37
RB - Jerick McKinnon 5
WR - Odell Beckham Jr. 280
WR - Dez Bryant 159
WR - Willie Snead 104
WR - Steve Smith Sr. 56
WR - Eric Decker 39
WR - Pierre Garcon 13
WR - John Brown 10
TE - Jordan Reed 151
TE - Coby Fleener 38
TE - Zach Ertz 27
K - Stephen Gostkowski 126
K - Dan Bailey 5*
DF - New York Giants 29*
DF - Atlanta Falcons 26
DF - Houston Texans 21*
DF - New England Patriots 18*
DF - Green Bay Packers 16*
DF - Tampa Bay Buccaneers 12
DF - Dallas Cowboys 9
DF - Indianapolis Colts 2

Team Swanson
QB - Ben Roethlisberger 119*
QB - Jameis Winston 119*
QB - Andrew Luck 45*
RB - Latavius Murray 117
RB - Jordan Howard 107*
RB - Matt Forte' 102
RB - LeGarrette Blount 89
RB - Carlos Hyde 63*
RB - Spencer Ware 25*
WR - Allen Robinson 176
WR - A.J. Green 167
WR - Alshon Jeffery 89
WR - Tyrell Williams 81
WR - DeSean Jackson 36*
WR - Kelvin Benjamin 12*
WR - Ted Ginn Jr. 4
WR - Quincy Enunwa 3
TE - Martellus Bennett 59
TE - Jason Witten 50*
TE - Eric Ebron 17*
TE - Zach Miller 7*
K - Matt Bryant 48*
K - Graham Gano 45
K - Cairo Santos 32
DF - Carolina Panthers 98
DF - Cincinnati Bengals 6*
DF - Tennessee Titans 6

TyRod Henke
QB - Tom Brady 212
QB - Drew Brees 112
RB - Todd Gurley 168
RB - Spencer Ware 70*
RB - Thomas Rawls 39
RB - Devontae Booker 30
RB - Jacquizz Rodgers 29
RB - Ameer Abdullah 25
RB - Jamaal Charles 12
RB - Ty Montgomery 11*
RB - DeAndre Washington 9
RB - Chris Ivory 2
WR - Jordy Nelson 162
WR - Jarvis Landry 132
WR - Julian Edelman 83*
WR - Jamison Crowder 38
WR - Terrelle Pryor 33
WR - Stefon Diggs 30
WR - Michael Thomas 15*
WR - Donte Moncrief 13*
WR - Cameron Meredith 2
WR - Sammy Watkins 2*
TE - Delanie Walker 174
TE - Hunter Henry 10*
TE - Eric Ebron 9*
K - Brandon McManus 91
K - Dan Bailey 41*
DF - Minnesota Vikings 83*
DF - Pittsburgh Steelers 33
DF - Philadelphia Eagles 21
DF - San Diego Chargers 11
DF - Detroit Lions 7

2016 Champion Fuck The Playoff System
QB - Dak Prescott 126
QB - Matthew Stafford 65*
QB - Blake Bortles 44
QB - Philip Rivers 14*
RB - Melvin Gordon 203
RB - C.J. Anderson 96
RB - Doug Martin 63
RB - Isaiah Crowell 47
RB - Bilal Powell 35
RB - Tevin Coleman 21
RB - Matt Asiata 9
RB - Jeremy Langford 7
WR - Antonio Brown 299
WR - Brandin Cooks 233
WR - Davante Adams 55
WR - Julian Edelman 18*
WR - Randall Cobb 7*
TE - Travis Kelce 221
TE - Jason Witten 7*
K - Matt Prater 71
K - Dan Bailey 38*
K - Matt Bryant 35*
K - Josh Lambo 7
DF - Houston Texans 37*
DF - New England Patriots 30*
DF - Green Bay Packers 18*
DF - Miami Dolphins 13*
DF - Chicago Bears 10*
DF - Cincinnati Bengals 10*
DF - New York Giants 4*

Moon's Microdongs
QB - Andrew Luck 99*
QB - Philip Rivers 86*
QB - Kirk Cousins 65
QB - Jameis Winston 18*
QB - Alex Smith 8
RB - David Johnson 387
RB - Jay Ajayi 103
RB - Frank Gore 101
RB - Jordan Howard 37*
RB - Jeremy Hill 34
RB - Charles Sims 33
RB - Danny Woodhead 25
RB - Charcandrick West 9
RB - Rashad Jennings 7
WR - T.Y. Hilton 231
WR - Brandon Marshall 114
WR - Emmanuel Sanders 71*
WR - DeSean Jackson 34*
WR - Kelvin Benjamin 33*
WR - Keenan Allen 12
WR - Sammy Watkins 12*
TE - Rob Gronkowski 94
TE - Antonio Gates 54
TE - Eric Ebron 16*
TE - Cameron Brate 8
TE - Zach Miller 7*
K - Adam Vinatieri 120
K - Matt Bryant 19*
DF - Cincinnati Bengals 26*
DF - Miami Dolphins 20*
DF - New York Giants 20*
DF - New England Patriots 16*
DF - New York Jets 12
DF - Buffalo Bills 10
DF - Chicago Bears 7*

Heroes of the Week

1 - WR A.J. Green, RB DeAngelo Williams, WR Brandin Cooks 

2 - RB Matt Forte', QB Cam Newton, WR DeAndre Hopkins

3 - DF Kansas City Chiefs, WR T.Y. Hilton, RB Devonta Freeman

4 - WR Julio Jones, QB Ben Roethlisberger, WR A.J. Green

5 - WR T.Y. Hilton, RB David Johnson, RB Ezekiel Elliott

6 - WR Odell Beckham Jr., RB David Johnson, RB LeSean McCoy

7 - RB Melvin Gordon III, WR A.J. Green, WR Mike Evans

8 - WR Amari Cooper, QB Aaron Rodgers, QB Tom Brady

9 - Scott Aschebrook, WR Mike Evans, RB Melvin Gordon III

10 - WR Antonio Brown, RB Le'Veon Bell, WR Jordy Nelson

11 - RB Le'Veon Bell, RB David Johnson, QB Aaron Rodgers

12 - WR Antonio Brown, TE Jordan Reed, WR Mike Evans

13 - RB David Johnson, QB Andrew Luck, RB Jordan Howard

14 - RB Le'Veon Bell, WR Emmanuel Sanders, QB Tom Brady

15 - WR Brandin Cooks, RB Devonta Freeman, RB LeSean McCoy

16 - WR Jordy Nelson, WR Doug Baldwin, QB Aaron Rodgers

A.J. Green may be the most quiet 3X Hero of the Week honoree ever.

Zeros of the Week

1 - DF Kansas City Chiefs, Nick Zurawski, TE Gary Barnidge

2 - The Ryan Brothers, Seattle's Offensive Line, Running Back injury gods

3 - WR Kelvin Benjamin, TE Rob Gronkowski, Evan Moon

4 - DF Carolina Panthers, DF Kansas City Chiefs, K Stephen Gostkowski

5 - DF Houston Texans, DF Cincinnati Bengals, Evan Moon

6 - NFL Schedule Makers, My long-running, TD-only team (Todd's Tornados), NFL Officials

7 - DF Chicago Bears, Overtime kickers, Evan Moon

8 - DF Minnesota Vikings, NFL Offensive Lines, Evan Moon

9 - DF Denver Broncos, NFL Referees, Evan Moon

10 - DF Green Bay Packers, Nick Zurawski, Evan Moon

11 - DF Baltimore Ravens, DF Philadelphia Eagles, Evan Moon

12 - TE Antonio Gates, WR Brandin Cooks, K Adam Vinatieri

13 - DF Carolina Panthers, DF Miami Dolphins, Evan Moon

14 - K Dan Bailey, WR Dez Bryant, Injury Gods

15 - NFL Referee Walt Coleman, Jaguars former Head Coach Gus Bradley, Skip Bayless

16 - DF Denver Broncos, RB Jeremy Hill, Alec Swanson

"Who in the hell is Evan Moon?!"

End-of-season Awards

First Team All-Bro

QB - Aaron Rodgers (Darrin Aschebrook)

RB - David Johnson (Nick Zurawski)

RB - Le'Veon Bell (Scott Aschebrook)

WR - Antonio Brown (Cole Walters)

WR - Odell Beckham Jr. (Tyler Sneen)

TE - Travis Kelce (Cole Walters)

FLEX - Mike Evans (Scott Aschebrook)

K - Justin Tucker (Evan Moon/Scott Aschebrook)

D/ST - Denver Broncos (Darrin Aschebrook)

Second Team All-Bro

QB - Tom Brady (Andy Todd)

RB - LeSean McCoy (Darrin Aschebrook)

RB - Devonta Freeman (Darrin Aschebrook)

WR - Brandin Cooks (Cole Walters)

WR - Julio Jones (Scott Aschebrook)

TE - Greg Olsen (Darrin Aschebrook)

FLEX - DeMarco Murray (Scott Aschebrook)

K - Stephen Gostkowski (Tyler Sneen)

D/ST - Carolina Panthers (Alec Swanson)

Voted on by the people

WRBL Rookie of the Year - QB Dak Prescott (Cole Walters)

Prescott's Week 16 Monday night performance helped erase Darrin's 96-point lead over Cole.

WRBL Draft Bust of the Year - #5 overall pick WR DeAndre Hopkins (Darrin Aschebrook)

"I mean... where is the help?" - DeAndre Hopkins, probably.

The Waiver Wonder of the Year - RB Bilal Powell (Cole Walters)

Only 35 points were needed for Powell to win this award all thanks to the timing of his 35 points.

WRBL Comeback Player of the Year - WR Jordy Nelson (Andy Todd)

After a torn ACL resulted in zero 2015 points, Nelson put on a show with double-digit touchdowns.

Zero of the Year - The Aschebrook Family's Driveway

An artist's rendition of the post-Championship celebration at Darrin's house.

NOTE: The MVP Award will always go to a player on the winning team.

MVP (Chosen by the league champion) - WR Antonio Brown (Cole Walters)

Brown helped both of his teams (real and fantasy) in immense, dramatic fashion on this week 16 play.

"Dreams can come true-OHH!"- Cole Walters

Recapping the MLB Trade Deadline deal by deal

***All prospect rankings are from Baseball America's Preseason rankings (Ex: Andrew Benintendi was #1)***

The Cardinals have acquired OF Tyler O'Neill from Seattle for LHP Marcos Gonzales.

Neither of these players have proven themselves to be major leaguers yet and both will likely get their turns for promotion this summer or fall. O'Neill was the Mariners' #2 prospect entering 2017 and is known as a power hitter with 89 home runs since beginning his minor league career in 2013. Some of the shine has worn off O'Neill this season as his strikeout rate continues to rise with each promotion. Gonzales actually has pitched in the majors and few people likely realize that since he's only made seven spot starts since 2014. The lefty's prospect shine has also worn off due to time missed recovering from Tommy John Surgery. Seattle likely sees him as immediate insurance for an already ripped apart rotation and they have more use for the 25-year old compared to the 22-year old since Seattle's major league outfield is exceeding expectations.

The White Sox have acquired RPs Mark Lowe & Jean Machi from Seattle for cash.

Acquiring two formerly MLB-caliber relievers is a move that a tanking team makes just to avoid using up an actually promising player's service time with an unnecessary early promotion. Machi hasn't looked bad in five appearances with Seattle while Lowe had a 6.23 ERA for the Mariners' AAA-affiliate.

The Rays have acquired RP Sergio Romo from the Dodgers for cash.

It's safe to say that the Dodgers did not get what they expected from the 34-year old that gave up 17 runs over 25 innings for LA. The former Giant has now hurt the Dodgers in a variety of ways over his career. Tampa Bay saw a veteran with postseason experience and jumped at the chance to make their roster a little bit older and a little bit wiser.

The Blue Jays have acquired IF Rob Refsnyder from the Yankees for 1B Ryan McBroom.

Another small deal with zero postseason impact (barring one hell of a turnout on the Disabled List), the Blue Jays picked up middle infield insurance once they presumably waive or trade Darwin Barney. McBroom is a 25-year old AA first baseman that the Yankees felt like they needed because their organization is still ridiculously thin on corner infielders even after the Todd Frazier deal was supposed to magically cure all of their frustrations with Greg Bird, Chris Carter, Garrett Cooper and others.

The Blue Jays have acquired SP Nick Tepesch from Minnesota for cash.

Today I learned that Nick Tepesch still plays baseball.

The Twins have acquired SP Jaime Garcia (FOR ONE START ONLY) and C Anthony Recker from Atlanta for RHP Huascar Ynoa.

Minnesota wanted an emergency catcher thrown into this deal because Jaime Garcia for Huascar Ynoa just seems unfair given Garcia's injury history. The former Cardinal had an extremely mediocre first half in Atlanta end with his final NL at-bat of the season resulting in a grand slam. There is very real hype with Ynoa considering he was the Twins' #23 prospect and rising with a sub-3.00 ERA in rookie-ball. Both teams seem evenly satisfied with the deal.

The Royals have acquired SP Trevor Cahill and RPs Brandon Maurer & Ryan Buchter for SP Travis Wood, RP Matt Strahm & 2B Esteury Ruiz.

I expected the Padres to get a White Sox-like haul for Buchter and instead, the Friars only received a proven reliever with a sketchy history making starts (Wood), a 25-year old with an inconsistent run in the majors (Strahm) and a complete unknown whose five years away at best. Kansas City should feel mighty good about themselves as they added one average major league starter having a bounceback season (Cahill), a lefty specialist who just had the best season out of any Padre in 2016 (Buchter) and another body to maybe put some pressure on Kelvin Herrera for saves (Maurer). The one name that could still dramatically swing opinions on this trade is Esteury Diaz, a rookie-ball second baseman who has done nothing but hit above expectations to this point in his 18 years of life. If his .332/.385/.568 line can translate to a higher level in the minors, the Padres have a top 100 prospect on hand.

The Brewers have acquired RP Anthony Swarzak from the White Sox for OF Ryan Cordell.

May the Swarzak be with you. Ryan Cordell is a late-blooming prospect who was the player to be named later (PTBNL) in the Jonathan Lucroy to Texas deal last deadline. The 25-year old has been very steadily improving in Triple-A and with the White Sox dumping all of their non-Jose Abreu veterans this deadline, Cordell should make his major league debut this August. Swarzak is having a career year at 31 with a 2.23 ERA across 48.1 innings. With Swarzak leaving after one save as the team's closer, Tyler Clippard likely takes over for saves in what can only be described as a full-on tanking decision. Milwaukee is just like any other contender and needed the bullpen help.

The Red Sox have acquired 3B Eduardo Nuñez from San Francisco for RHPs Shaun Anderson & Gregory Santos.

Nuñez just went from being one of the MLB's most underrated players to likely becoming a household name as the man that saved the 2017 Red Sox. Boston just landed a .308 hitting contact man from San Francisco, which is exactly what they assumed they would have gotten from Pablo Sandoval three years ago. Now, Kung Fu Panda is back in the Bay Area on a minor-league deal and the rotating cast of third basemen in Boston has hopefully finally come to an end. Anderson (22) was Boston's #23 prospect and Santos is a 17-year old who is still just an erratic 17-year old. An underwhelming return for Nuñez but, San Francisco needs any type of prospects and this was a start for rebuilding their farm system.

The Rockies have acquired RP Pat Neshek from Philadelphia for SS Jose Gomez and RHPs Alejandro Requena & J.D. Hammer.

An impressive three-player return for a 36-year old submarine pitcher. With a 1.12 ERA through 40.1 innings, Neshek will be remembered fondly by Phillies fans as their 2017 All-Star representative. Hammer is a 22-year old A-baller with a high strikeout rate and a 50/50 chance at making the majors in the future. Requena was showing his first sign of promise at 20 years old with a 2.85 ERA in A-ball. Another 20-year old named Jose Gomez was the key "get" in this trade for Philadelphia. The highest (and only) ranked prospect in this deal is hitting .324/.375/.437 in A-ball and will be good insurance if J.P. Crawford continues to lose his potential shine. Neshek helps build one of the strongest and most experienced bullpens in the National League as Colorado fights Arizona for home-field advantage in the Wildcard game.

The Rays have acquired RP Dan Jennings from Tampa Bay for 1B Casey Gillaspie.


Before acquiring Jennings, Tampa Bay had zero reliable lefties in the bullpen. Now, they have one lefty who has not had an ERA over 4.00 yet in his six major league seasons. All it cost the Rays was a 24-year old former Top 100 prospect who has .299 OBP in AAA this season. There's still potential for Gillaspie to return to form before losing all of the hype around him and the White Sox are determined to have a lineup entirely occupied by former and current top 100 guys by 2019.

The Diamondbacks have acquired C John Ryan Murphy from Minnesota for RHP Gabriel Moya.

Murphy was supposed to be Minnesota's catcher of the future headed into 2016. After going 18-for-82, Minnesota somehow hypnotized Arizona into trading for their new emergency third catcher (the weakest position in Arizona's organization). Meanwhile, Moya has been the Kenley Jansen of AA with a 0.82 ERA and 68 strikeouts over 43.2 innings. Minnesota may have made the biggest steal of the deadline here.

The Rays have acquired 1B Lucas Duda from the Mets for RHP Drew Smith.

Smith has a 1.77 ERA over 80 minor league relief appearances and he appears to be major league ready. Duda has yet to benefit from the "juiced baseballs" phenomenon even though he's a power hitter because, that dude Duda is always hurt and kind of a dud. The Rays continue to stockpile veterans with postseason experience and improve their revolving door of designated hitters with Logan Morrison having his career year at first base.

The Rays have acquired RP Steve Cishek from Seattle for RHP Erasmo Ramirez & cash.

Cishek is a 31-year old with an expiring contract while Ramirez is 27 and under team control for at least three more years. Sure, Cishek is a good reliever while Ramirez is only an average spot-starter at best but, 3>1. Tampa now has a very nice and experienced bullpen that looks nothing like their roster on opening day.

The Dodgers have acquired RHP Luke Farrell from Kansas City for cash.

Cool story, bro.

The Nationals have acquired UTIL Howie Kendrick from Philadelphia for LHP McKenzie Mills.

Howie Kendrick is a contact hitter you can plug in anywhere and that was an absolute MUST grab for Washington this deadline. Combining Kendrick versus righties and Adam Lind versus lefties gives the Nationals one of the better benches in baseball. Mills was a nobody until he went 12-2 in A-ball this season. Now, there is no telling how high the 21-year old's ceiling can go.

The Mets (!?) have acquired RP A.J. Ramos from Miami for RHP Merandy Gonzalez & OF Ricardo Cespedes.

I do not understand why the Mets made a trade for the immediate future and I do not understand the Marlins dealing within the division. Sure, Ramos has another year on his contract but, are the Mets really prepared to go all in on 2018? No. The Mets gave up their #19 (Cespedes) and #15 (Gonzalez) prospects in this trade and while the 19-year old Cespedes is still figuring out how to play, Merandy Gonzalez has been unhittable through four minor-league seasons and might end up as the gem of this trade.

The Orioles have acquired SP Jeremy Hellickson from Philadelphia for OF Hyun-Soo Kim & LHP Garrett Cleavinger.

All of the rumors and build-up surrounding Hellickson being traded after his start was scratched and a lot of fans of contending teams got excited for nothing. The Baltimore Orioles grabbed a guy whose strikeout rate has never been lower and has an expiring contract despite their losing ways. The sad part is that Baltimore's terrible rotation was enough to validate them reaching for an okay arm making $17 million like Hellickson. Hyun Soo-Kim is also an expiring contract with one last shot at proving he's consistent enough to be a major league player and he should get the playing time in Philadelphia. Cleavinger is a AA reliever with an ERA over 6.00 this season. Both franchises lost this trade.

The Dodgers have acquired LHP Luis Ysla from Boston for cash.

25-year old Luis Ysla was the Red Sox' #15 prospect but, has not looked that promising for a couple of years. The Dodgers need lefty relief help and might take a flier on Ysla sometime before October.

The Yankees have acquired SP Jaime Garcia from Minnesota for LHP Dietrich Enns, RHP Zack Littell & cash.

The Twins went from thinking as contenders to believing they should SELL SELL SELL in the span of one Jaime Garcia start. The Yankees found their replacement for Michael Pineda (Tommy John Surgery) with a more reliable, high-floor, low-ceiling lefty instead of an unpredictable flame-throwing righty. Littell is 14-1 across two minor league levels (presently in AA) and was a top-30 prospect in the Yankee organization. Meanwhile, Enns is 26 and has converted into a successful AAA starter who has not had an ERA over 3.00 in four years. Ultimately, Minnesota replaced Huascar Ynoa with Dietrich Enns, Zack Littell and cash and that's not a bad series of deals.

The Royals have acquired OF Melky Cabrera for RHP A.J. Puckett & LHP Andre Davis.

Way back in 2011, Cabrera became one of the league's most reliable contact hitters after some hit-or-miss seasons with the Yankees and Braves. Melky just happened to begin his career peak on a one-year contract that very season in Kansas City. The melkman is batting .295 and should steal at-bats from Brandon Moss and/or the struggling face of the franchise, Alex Gordon. In return, the White Sox got a very weak package (compared to all of their previous deals) in 2016 2nd-rounder A.J. Puckett and 2015 8th-rounder Andre Davis. Davis was just a throw-in while Puckett has major league potential and was the Royals' #5 prospect with an estimated time of arrival (ETA) of 2020.

The Rockies have acquired C Jonathon Lucroy from Texas for PTBNL.

Wow. The former All-Star was dealt just a year ago for two top 100 prospects and the player his first team dealt for Anthony Swarzak (Ryan Cordell). Now, with a .299 OBP and an inability to consistently stay healthy, Colorado wants him to prove his worth before agreeing to deal any big minor league names (or maybe even an MLB name) for a struggling catcher.

The Cubs have acquired RP Justin Wilson & C Alex Avila from Detroit for 3B Jeimer Candelario, SS Isaac Paredes & a PTBNL or cash.

Tigers' GM Al Avila has now had to trade his son twice but, at least this time Detroit got a top 100 prospect in return in Candelario. Of course, Al had to trade the team's closer in order for the Cubs to accept this offer but, that's not the way dad will tell this story! Wilson has been awesome as a lefty reliever, gaining velocity every season he's been in the big leagues. Avila is one of the league's most patient catchers and has actually been hitting for a change this season, which makes him an improvement on Miguel Montero. In exchange, Detroit lands Candelario (a lesser Nick Castellanos), Isaac Paredes (too soon to tell if this 18-year old A-baller has a major league future but, he adds to Detroit's sudden overloading of minor league shortstops) and a player to be named or cash. Another good deal by the Cubs but, they now are in unfamiliar territory with one of the league's weakest farm systems. That is the price of going all in on trophies sometimes.

The Red Sox have acquired RP Addison Reed from the Mets for RHPs Gerson Bautista, Jamie Callahan & Steve Nogoshek.

In an extremely rare three relievers for the price of one deal, the Mets handed their 9th-inning duties to newest Met A.J. Ramos by upgrading Boston's playoff bullpen with Addison Reed. Reed has finally turned into the player he was originally promoted as way back with the White Sox, an elite reliever that can close. The Mets received three relievers, one with a 4.03 ERA in AAA (Callahan), one 22-year old struggling to climb into AA (Nogoshek) and the Sox' #27 prospect who is also having a rough season (Bautista). This was the best deal the Mets could get from Boston but, it's hard to believe there were no better offers on the table.

The Astros have acquired SP Francisco Liriano from Toronto for OFs Nori Aoki & Teoscar Hernandez.

Houston is likely to use Liriano in a similar role to that of Erasmo Ramirez, a long reliever who makes the occasional emergency start. This is not a bad plan because Liriano is having an awful season as a starter and a demotion to the bullpen might be just what he needs in order to regain confidence. The Astros needed a lefty and unsurprisingly, the price for even a pitcher like Liriano was higher than it usually would be since veteran southpaws are harder to find in deals. Aoki is a light-hitting contact machine that always hits .280 no matter where he plays and Hernandez was a top-ten prospect for the Astros but, had underwhelmed in his 100 at-bats in the MLB in 2016. Both outfielders might come off Toronto's bench these last two months.

The Diamondbacks have acquired IF Adam Rosales from Oakland for RHP Jeferson Mejia.

With Chris Owings breaking a finger that will cost him eight weeks, Nick Ahmed still out for four weeks and Ketel Marté on personal leave, Arizona needed a middle infielder and Rosales is that. All they had to part with was erratic A-ball righty Jeferson Mejia and that's not too steep of an asking price, clearly.

The Brewers have acquired RP Jeremy Jeffress from Texas for LHP Tayler Scott.

This will be Jeffress' third stint with Milwaukee as he looks to improve on a rough first half (5.31 ERA). The Rangers turned Lewis Brinson, Luis Ortiz and Ryan Cordell into a PTBNL and 25-year old AA arm Tayler Scott. Texas should be ashamed of themselves.

The Orioles have acquired RHP Yefry Ramirez from the Yankees for an international signing bonus (AKA: cash).

The Yankees freed up a spot on their 40-man roster and the Orioles got someone else they might force into their rotation at some point since that's the path they're seemingly headed down.

The Yankees have acquired SP Sonny Gray from Oakland for RHP James Kaprielian, SS Jorge Mateo & OF Dustin Fowler.

Gray has been on absolute fire as of late and his season-long stats are beginning to resemble his all-star caliber seasons while his 5.69 ERA from last year seems to be the outlier of the beginning of a great career. The Yankees now have six pitchers that could reasonably start for them and get the job done well and that's usually a recipe for postseason success. Meanwhile, Oakland is finally fully committed to a rebuild with very few veterans remaining on the major league roster. James Kaprielian is recovering from his Tommy John Surgery in the Spring and Dustin Fowler just tore up everything in his leg the other week but, along with the speedster Mateo, all three were top 100 prospects at the beginning of 2017. That much promise was too convincing for the A's to ignore. With Gray under Yankee control through 2018, something tells me the Yankee-Red Sock rivalry has been revived.

The Indians have acquired RP Joe Smith from Toronto for 2B Samad Taylor & LHP Thomas Pannone.

Cleveland has added to the flashiest bullpen in the AL (the Yankees are 1B if Chapman settles back into being an elite closer) by finding a familiar face in Joe Smith. From 2009-2013, Smith became one of the league's better sidearm pitchers with Cleveland before improving even further as an Angel. Now 33-years old, Smith was putting up okay numbers for Toronto and could easily return to excellent form with some help from Andrew Miller, Cody Allen and manager Terry Francona. Something changed this off-season in Thomas Pannone's game because he has gone from unnoticed to on the verge of AAA thanks to some great starts this year and Samad Taylor is a throw-in with a 50-50 chance at becoming something as he is only 19-years old.

The Dodgers have acquired RP Tony Watson from Pittsburgh for 3B Oneil Cruz & RHP Angel German.

Watson has also taken steps backward as a player and his struggles directly correlate to his changing roles from elite setup man to okay closer. I'm surprised to see the Pirates sell anybody not named Starling Marté (though that would have been twice the shock). The Dodgers gave up an 18-year old top-30 team prospect in Cruz, who is discovering his power in A-ball and a complete unknown in the inconsistent 21-year old right arm of German. The Dodgers have the lefty reliever they were looking for and despite not being Zach Britton, Watson did have back-to-back seasons with a sub-2.00 ERA in a major role not long ago.

The Diamondbacks have acquired RP David Hernandez from the Angels for RHP Luis Madero.

Hernandez is an average 32-year old reliever who just happened to unexpectedly be having the best season of any Angels pitcher. This made him prime trade bait for a team headed nowhere and luckily for Anaheim, Hernandez's former team is still slightly infatuated with him. Arizona used Hernandez as a reliever from 2011 through 2015 and the right-hander never showed signs of being the 2.23 ERA carrier that he is right now. In return, the Angels receive Luis Madero, a 20-year old that has yet to thrive outside of the rookie leagues.

The Orioles have acquired SS Tim Beckham from Tampa Bay for RHP Tobias Myers.

God bless Peter Angelos, the 88-year old owner of the Baltimore Orioles, for refusing to be a seller as that is something the team has only done once in the past twenty years. Sure, it makes all of the baseball sense in the world to sell now if you're Baltimore but, the miraculous happens more often in this sport than any other. As for the Rays, I'm not sure what they gain from dealing a former #1 overall pick for a farm-hand that is years away but, I can see how losing 8 of 11 can send the front office into a frenzy.

The Pirates have acquired RP Joaquin Benoit from Philadelphia for RHP Seth McGarry.

I really do not understand the last two seasons of Pirate trade deadline decisions. Are they buying, selling or both? Either way they added the best 40-year old active in Joaquin Benoit to replace Tony Watson. The Phillies get a promising young reliever who's ready for AA in Seth McGarry. The 23-year old has a 0.84 WHIP through 40.1 innings and will be out of the single-A levels soon enough. This will be Benoit's eighth team over a seventeen-year career.

The Dodgers have acquired RP Tony Cingrani from Cincinnati for OF Scott Van Slyke & C Hendrik Clementina.

I was the biggest Tony Cingrani fan entering 2014 and for whatever reason, he quickly fell out of favor in Cincinnati and into the bullpen. Now, he's having his worst season in the majors (5.40 ERA) and the Dodgers are trusting him and Watson to make up for the "lack" of a Zach Britton-like lefty in their bullpen. I'm not sure why the Reds felt the need to add Van Slyke to their bench considering he's 31 but, Hendrik Clementina might be a name to remember as he's hitting .370/.448/.554 in his fourth year at the rookie level. Still just 20, the Reds would love to have some sort of future at the catcher position that does not revolve around glass-man Devin Mesoraco.

The Nationals have acquired RP Brandon Kintzler from Minnesota for LHP Tyler Watson.

With Sean Doolittle off to a shaky start in Washington, it was time for the Nationals to at least add a challenger for saves and they surprisingly managed to pick up an all-star closer. Kintzler did not have all-star closer pedigree entering 2017 but, the former Brewer and now-former Twin has 28 saves and a 2.78 ERA and could immediately move Doolittle to a setup role upon arrival. Tyler Watson was the Nationals' 19th-ranked prospect headed into the season and is not blowing anybody away in A-ball but, has plenty of time to develop as a 20-year old.

The Dodgers have acquired SP Yu Darvish from Texas for 2B Willie Calhoun, 3B Brendon Davis & RHP A.J. Alexy.

It is now officially WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS or BUST! time for the Los Angeles Dodgers. Their rotation of Kershaw-Darvish-Wood-Hill-Maeda is by far the best in baseball, as is their 74-31 record. Darvish is still an expiring contract though, meaning the Dodgers' top two prospects (OF Alex Verdugo & SP Walker Buehler) stayed put while AAA superstar 2B Willie Calhoun heads to Arlington, maybe making his debut in the coming weeks. The #29 prospect in LA's organization (Davis) is also headed to the Ranger organization and he's looked very patient for such a young (20-years old) hitter. Alexy is the blindfolded dart-throw of this trade with virtually zero hype surrounding a 19-year old with a high k-rate in A-ball. Considering Darvish may have left this off-season anyway, this was a great trade by both teams and puts all of the casual baseball fan's eyes on the Dodgers as World Series favorites.

Richard W. Rodriguez/Associated Press
The Rangers and Dodgers saved the best for last as Yu Darvish was the most valuable name to switch teams this July.

Good luck to your team of choice, whether their future is this October or 2020's October. Either way, remember that it's just a game. A super fun, intense game.

Trades Already Made & Ones To Come, The 2017 MLB Trade Deadline Preview

Major league teams trading players prior to a week before the trade deadline, thus forcing people to rewrite and edit their pre-deadline pieces is a tradition unlike any other. Twitter has quickly transitioned from the NBA's Woj Season to the MLB's Rosenthal Season with three trades occurring over a three-day span in the middle of the month. If I were a betting man, I'd say that the biggest names to get dealt this season are already off the market (Jose Quintana & J.D. Martinez) but, this is baseball, America's most unpredictable sport.

Trading season kicked off with a whimper in late June when the Marlins chose J.T. Riddle as their shortstop of the future by dealing defense-only Adeiny Hechavarria to the Rays for speedy AA outfielder Braxton Lee and 22-year old A-ball righty Ethan Clark. The change of scenery has yet to show any alterations in Hechavarria's game and the two minor leaguers are not projected for major league success so, this deal seems like one everybody will forget by next July.

One week later, the Blue Jays made two separate deals, acquiring sudden clubhouse headache Miguel Montero as Canada's first reasonable backup catcher of 2017 and 22-year old project outfielder Eduard Pinto. Toronto is not clearly buying or selling yet as they gave up on veteran reliever Jason Grilli and his 6.97 ERA (now with Texas) as most teams would have done and picked up a veteran catcher because Luke Maile and his .121 average are not worthy of a spot on the 40-man roster, let alone the 25-man list that forces John Gibbons to use Maile on a regular basis.

The All-Star break could have also been labeled the Hot Stove break as the rumor mill always kicks into high gear following the mid-Summer classic. This season barely even wasted any time before rumors turned into reality on the 13th. The first major trade piece was sent a short distance to the defending champions from their cross-town... I don't if "rivals" really applies here but sure.. rivals when the best lefty on the block (Jose Quintana) went to the Cubs for a haul of enticing prospects. As if the White Sox did not already have enough in the way of Top 100 prospects, GM Rick Hahn received outfielder Eloy Jimenez and pitcher Dylan Cease (along with infielders Matt Rose and Bryant Flete) all for one arm that had underperformed halfway through the season. Acquiring the #8 and #63 prospects in baseball (according to MLB.com) alongside two solidly performing infielders for at least a season and a half of Jose Quintana is an excellent move and would have been fairly lopsided if it weren't for the two team-option years remaining on the newest Cub's contract. Overall, a fair deal if Quintana's shiny debut is a sign of things to come (7 shutout innings with 12 strikeouts).

CBSSports.com
Jose Quintana's Cubs tenure is off to a brilliant start.

In response to their rivals making a deal, the Brewers swapped AAA All-Star 1B Garrett Cooper with Yankee southpaw Tyler Webb to help glue together a random bullpen in Milwaukee while the Yankees desperately clung onto the nearest body resembling a major league first baseman. So far, so meh.

The Nationals tried solving their serious closer concerns by adding two non-closers (though both have experience in the ninth inning). Washington does not NEED any additional help until October but, with Oakland trying to sell high on any and all rostered veterans, the Nats jumped at the chance to scoop up Sean Doolittle (36 career saves) and Ryan Madson (85 career saves). All it cost the NL East leaders was Blake Treinen during a career-worst season, promising A-ball third baseman Sheldon Neuse and 19-year old lefty Jesus Luzardo. Giving up last year's third round pick (Luzardo) in addition to Treinen and Neuse might seem like a bit much but, the Nationals might be in their last 18 months of Bryce Harper and if there's any team that should be selling everything for a championship, it's them.

The most surprising deal to me was Arizona dealing three minor league shortstops (Dawel Lugo, Sergio Alcantara and Jose King) for right fielder J.D. Martinez. Martinez has outperformed all expectations as a Tiger and after his return from a six-week lisfranc injury, the 29-year old has a .305/.388/.630 line and 16 homers. The D-Backs didn't strike me as a team willing to acquire or capable of adding a hitter of Martinez's stature. He is a lefty-destroyer, something the Diamondbacks were missing in their hunt to maintain home-field advantage in the NL's wildcard game.

Later on that same night, the Yankees swooped in on the Red Sox' budding deal with the White Sox and claimed three major leaguers for the price of New York's third-best prospect (OF Blake Rutherford), a first-round pick from 2013 (LHP Ian Clarkin), a .382 hitter in AA (CF Tito Polo) and they likely forced Chicago to take on disappointing reliever Tyler Clippard. Clippard will be the only player to have an immediate impact on the White Sox as he is now likely their closer in a bizarre turn of events. Clippard might get the role because the Yankees' return in this deal included closer David Robertson (2nd stint in pinstripes), reliever Tommy Kahnle and third baseman Todd Frazier. As a result of this trade and the Quintana deal, the White Sox now own a league-high ten of MLB.com's top 100 prospects including the recently promoted Yoan Moncada.

Lastly, the Marlins added four of Seattle's top 30 prospects (OF Brayan Hernandez and pitchers Lukas Schiraldi, Pablo Lopez and Brandon Miller) for one David Phelps. Granted, Seattle does not have a flashy farm system but, four guys for David Phelps is a deal any team would love to make.

Here are the Major League Baseball Standings as of the morning of July 21st.

Green = Buyers
Blue = Undecided as of the 21st
Red = Sellers

AL East
Boston Red Sox 54-43
Tampa Bay Rays 51-45
New York Yankees 49-45
Baltimore Orioles 46-49
Toronto Blue Jays 44-51

AL Central
Cleveland Indians 48-45
Minnesota Twins 48-46
Kansas City Royals 47-47
Detroit Tigers 43-51
Chicago White Sox 38-54

AL West
Houston Astros 63-32
Seattle Mariners 48-49
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim 47-50
Texas Rangers 45-50
Oakland Athletics 43-52

NL East
Washington Nationals 57-37
Atlanta Braves 46-48
New York Mets 43-50
Miami Marlins 42-51
Philadelphia Phillies 32-61

NL Central
Milwaukee Brewers 52-46
Chicago Cubs 49-45
Pittsburgh Pirates 48-48
St. Louis Cardinals 46-49
Cincinnati Reds 40-55

NL West
Los Angeles Dodgers 66-30
Arizona Diamondbacks 55-40
Colorado Rockies 56-41
San Diego Padres 41-54
San Francisco Giants 37-60

The Royals were guaranteed sellers until they turned a winning corner sometime in June. Now, they are trapped with multiple key players on expiring contracts and an outside shot at contending for another surprise championship run. The Angels should never sell as long as they have Mike Trout unless they grow confident enough in their own managerial staff to deal Trout for the entire White Sox minor league system. The Braves should almost certainly be sellers 8.5 games out of the wildcard chase and 11 games behind their division leaders but much like last season, Atlanta is inexplicably rumored to be interested in every big name once a player is finally dealt (see: Quintana, Chris Sale, etc.). With the mixed signals coming from Atlanta, the hopelessness of Anaheim and the never-say-never attitude of the 2015 champion Royals, these three are totally unpredictable when it comes to trades.  Let's go team-by-team and figure out who every GM has a realistic shot at acquiring and shopping away before July 31st's trade deadline or the August 30th waiver deadline. Typically, I would have a paragraph summary with each team on their season to this point and additional explanations on why they'd be making any moves but, due to an unforseen amount of action that has already taken place and an unexpected illness in the process of creating this deadline piece, I must save my summaries on teams for sometime in the future. 

Since I began mapping all of this out, 3 separate trades have taken place...

The Twins acquired SP Jaime Garcia & C Anthony Recker from Atlanta for RHP Huascar Ynoa and cash considerations.

The Royals acquired SP Trevor Cahill, RP Brandon Maurer & RP Ryan Buchter from San Diego for SP Travis Wood, RP Matt Strahm & IF Esteury Ruiz

The Rays acquired RP Sergio Romo from the Dodgers for a player to be named or cash.

Boston Red Sox
Positional Targets: Third baseman or men, backup hitter, bullpen assistance
Specific Targets: Yunel Escobar, Jose Reyes, Manny Machado?, Conor Gillaspie, Eduardo Nunez, Addison Reed, Hunter Strickland, Pat Neshek
Any big-name prospects they might deal?: With Dombrowski in charge, anything is possible. 3B Rafael Devers would be the hardest player to part with, especially given the team's current corner infield security.

Tampa Bay Rays
Positional Targets: Bullpen help, outfielder(s?)
Specific Targets: Michael Lorenzen, Brad Hand, Brandon Maurer, Jeremy Jeffress, Melky Cabrera, Carlos Gomez, Hunter Pence?
Any big-name prospects they might deal?: One of 1B Jake Bauers and 1B Casey Gillaspie, RHP Jose De Leon, RHP Chih Wei-Hu

New York Yankees
Positional Targets: Corner infielder, Starting Pitching
Specific Targets: Sonny Gray, Yu Darvish, Matt Moore, Eduardo Nunez, Steve Pearce, Yangervis Solarte?
Any big-name prospects they might deal?: Unless the player has already appeared in the majors (ex: OF Clint Frazier), the entire farm could be for sale if someone like Yu Darvish is truly on the table.

Baltimore Orioles
On The Market: Everyone not named Dylan Bundy, Jonathan Schoop or Adam Jones.
Who gets a bigger post-deadline role?: RPs Jimmy Yacabonis & Stefan Crichton and C Chance Sisco.

Toronto Blue Jays
On The Market: SPs J.A. Happ, Marco Estrada & Francisco Liriano, RPs Danny Barnes, Joe Biagini & Aaron Loup, IF Darwin Barney, SS Troy Tulowitzki, utilityman Steve Pearce, DH Kendrys Morales
Who gets a bigger post-deadline role?: OF Anthony Alford and SP Mike Bolsinger.

Cleveland Indians
Positional Targets: Catcher, outfield depth, Starting Pitcher
Specific Targets: Jonathan Lucroy, Cameron Rupp, Wellington Castillo, Marcell Ozuna, Jay Bruce?, Carlos Gomez, Hisashi Iwakuma, Scott Feldman, Dan Straily
Any big-name prospects they might deal?: Everybody including Bradley Zimmer is for sale if the right all-star becomes available.

Minnesota Twins
Positional Targets: Multiple Pitchers, outfielder?
Specific Targets: Jhoulys Chacin, Jaime Garcia, Jeremy Hellickson, Curtis Granderson?, Matt Joyce?, Howie Kendrick
Any big-name prospects they might deal?: RHP Felix Jorge is the only name I'd deal from this promising core of young players.

Kansas City Royals
Positional Targets: Pitching (like... a lot of it) and outfielders.
Specific Targets: Jeff Samardzija?, Sonny Gray, J.A. Happ, Raisel Iglesias, Hector Neris, Santiago Casilla, Justin Upton?, Nick Markakis, Denard Span
Any big-name prospects they might deal?: C Chase Vallot.

Detroit Tigers
On The Market: EVERYONE not named Miguel Cabrera.
Who gets a bigger post-deadline role?: Utilityman Jim Adducci, RPs Joe Jimenez & Bruce Rondon, SP Myles Jaye

Chicago White Sox
On The Market: SPs James Shields, Derek Holland, Mike Pelfrey & Miguel Gonzalez, RPs Dan Jennings, Anthony Swarzak & Tyler Clippard, OF Melky Cabrera
Who gets a bigger post-deadline role?: SPs Lucas Giolito & Reynaldo Lopez, OF Jacob May, RPs Matt Purke & Zach Burdi

Houston Astros
Positional Targets: Starting Pitcher, Tony Sipp replacement
Specific Targets: Justin Verlander, Michael Fulmer, Edinson Volquez, Dan Straily, J.A. Happ, Justin Wilson, Tony Cingrani, Mark Melancon
Any big-name prospects they might deal?: OFs Kyle Tucker & Teoscar Hernandez, RHP Franklin Perez

Seattle Mariners
Positional Targets: Starting Pitching X 1,000,000
Specific Targets: Scott Feldman, Jhoulys Chacin, Matt Moore, Jeff Samardzija, Matt Cain, Marco Estrada
Any big-name prospects they might deal?: Yes, everybody will be available for reliable starting pitching.

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
On The Market: SP Ricky Nolasco, RPs Bud Norris, Blake Parker & David Hernandez, 3Bs Luis Valbuena & Yunel Escobar, OFs Ben Revere & Kole Calhoun
Who gets a bigger post-deadline role?: SP Parker Bridwell, RP Cam Bedrosian, 3B Kaleb Cowart, RP Brooks Pounders

Texas Rangers
On The Market: Everyone not named Joey Gallo, Nomar Mazara or Elvis Andrus.
Who gets a bigger post-deadline role?: SP Austin Bibens-Dirkx, OF Ryan Rua & utilityman Jurickson Profar

Oakland Athletics
On The Market: SP Sonny Gray, RPs John Axford, Daniel Coulombe, Liam Hendriks & Santiago Casilla, 1B Yonder Alonso, IF Jed Lowrie, OFs Matt Joyce, Rajai Davis & Khris Davis?
Who gets a bigger post-deadline role?: SP Daniel Mengden, IF Joey Wendle, OFs Mark Canha & Jaff Decker

Washington Nationals
Positional Targets: Starting Pitcher, Outfielder
Specific Targets: Justin Verlander, Sonny Gray, Jeff Samardzija, Rajai Davis, Denard Span, Melky Cabrera
Any big-name prospects they might deal?: C Pedro Severino, OF Victor Robles, SS Luis Garcia

Atlanta Braves
On The Market: SPs Jaime Garcia & R.A. Dickey, RPs Jose Ramirez, Arodys Vizcaino & Jim Johnson, C Tyler Flowers, 2B Brandon Phillips, OF Nick Markakis
Who gets a bigger post-deadline role?: SP Lucas Sims, RPs Mauricio Cabrera & Enrique Burgos

New York Mets
On The Market: RPs Jerry Blevins, Josh Edgin, Josh Smoker, Fernando Salas, Hansel Robles & Addison Reed, C Travis d'Arnaud, 1B Lucas Duda, IF Asdrubal Cabrera, OFs Jay Bruce & Curtis Granderson
Who gets a bigger post-deadline role?: RPs Chasen Bradford, Logan Pill & Ben Rowen, C Kevin Plaeecki and SS Gavin Cecchini

Miami Marlins
On The Market: SPs Dan Straily, Adam Conley & Edinson Volquez, RPs Dustin McGowan, A.J. Ramos, Vance Worley, Junichi Tazawa & Brad Ziegler, C A.J. Ellis, 1B Justin Bour?, 2B Dee Gordon, 3B Martin Prado and OF Marcell Ozuna
Who gets a bigger post-deadline role?: SPs Justin Nicolino & Chris O'Grady, RP Drew Steckenreider, C Tomas Telis, IF Miguel Rojas & utilityman Steve Lombardozzi

Philadelphia Phillies
On The Market: Anybody over 27 years old and 1B Tommy Joseph.
Who gets a bigger post-deadline role?: SP Ben Lively, RP Edubray Ramos, C Jorge Alfaro, 1B Rhys Hoskins and OF Roman Quinn.

Milwaukee Brewers
Positional Targets: Starting Pitcher, bullpen help, Second Baseman
Specific Targets: Sonny Gray, J.A. Happ, Kevin Gausman, Raisel Iglesias, Dan Jennings, Mychal Givens, Ian Kinsler, Jed Lowrie
Any big-name prospects they might deal?: OF Corey Ray, RHP Luis Ortiz, IF Isan Diaz and OF Trent Clark

Chicago Cubs
Positional Targets: Starting Pitcher, one more star
Specific Targets: Yu Darvish, Justin Verlander, Sonny Gray, Justin Upton?, Yoenis Cespedes?, Wil Myers?
Any big-name prospects they might deal?: After Eloy left, everybody was marked "available".

Pittsburgh Pirates
Positional Targets: Starting Pitcher and a reliever.
Specific Targets: Marco Estrada, Wade Miley, Jeremy Hellickson, Anthony Swarzak, Brad Brach, Brad Hand, Hunter Strickland
Any big-name prospects they might deal?: SS Cole Tucker and RHP Luis Escobar

St. Louis Cardinals
Positional Targets: Anything and everything but a Catcher.
Specific Targets: Kevin Gausman, Miguel Gonzalez, Homer Bailey, Santiago Casilla, A.J. Ramos, Zach Britton, Jed Lowrie, Howie Kendrick, Hunter Pence?, Denard Span
Any big-name prospects they might deal?: They may be reluctant to deal anyone with high ceilings.

Cincinnati Reds
On The Market: SPs Homer Bailey & Scott Feldman, every reliever, C Devin Mesoraco
Who gets a bigger post-deadline role?: SPs Cody Reed & Lisalverto Bonilla & RP Kevin Shackelford

Los Angeles Dodgers
Positional Targets: Starting Pitcher.
Specific Targets: Sonny Gray, Yu Darvish, Cole Hamels
Any big-name prospects they might deal?: Every prospect is for sale with how important this run is for the Dodgers.

Arizona Diamondbacks
Positional Targets: Closer, Catcher
Specific Targets: Zach Britton, Brad Brach, Justin Wilson, Raisel Iglesias, Nick Hundley, Cameron Rupp, Jonathan Lucroy
Any big-name prospects they might deal?: There are no "big" names in the D-Backs' system so, everyone is available.

Colorado Rockies
Positional Targets: Relievers and a shortstop.
Specific Targets: Darren O'Day, Anthony Swarzak, Tony Cingrani, Alex Wilson, Kyle Ryan, Josh Edgin, Asdrubal Cabrera, Jose Iglesias, Troy Tulowitzki?
Any big-name prospects they might deal?: RHP Peter Lambert, OF Jordan Patterson, 2B Forrest Wall

San Diego Padres
On The Market: SPs Clayton Richard & Jhoulys Chacin, RPs Brad Hand, Kirby Yates and Craig Stammen, C Hector Sanchez & OF Jabari Blash
Who gets a bigger post-deadline role?: SPs Dillon Overton & Walker Lockett & RP Carter Capps

San Francisco Giants
On The Market: Everyone not named Buster Posey or Madison Bumgarner
Who gets a bigger post-deadline role?: IF Orlando Calixte, SPs Chris Stratton & Tyler Beede

Please note that the following does not consider contracts and is mostly just fun nonsense ideas...

9 Deals I want to see happen (Not necessarily going for realistic here)
1. Detroit sends Justin Verlander to Milwaukee for IF Isan Diaz, RHP Brandon Woodruff & a low-level body and/or cash.
2. Texas sends Yu Darvish and Jeremy Jeffress to the Cubs for DH Kyle Schwarber, RHP Jose Albertos & RHP Duane Underwood.
3. Texas sends Adrian Beltre to Boston for 3B Michael Chavis, RHP Roniel Raudes & a low-level body.
4. Oakland sends Sonny Gray to Houston for OF Kyle Tucker & a low-level body.
5. Baltimore sends Zach Britton & Brad Brach to the Dodgers for OF Yusniel Diaz, SS Gavin Lux and RHP Brock Stewart.
6. Toronto sends Troy Tulowitzki back to Colorado for Carlos Gonzalez and nobody wins.
7. Texas sends Cole Hamels to the Dodgers for RHP Yadier Alvarez and three low-level bodies.
8. Texas sends Jonathan Lucroy to Cleveland for 1B Bobby Bradley, RHP Shane Bieber and LHP Ryan Merritt.
9. The Mets send Curtis Granderson, Jay Bruce and Addison Reed to Tampa Bay for RHP Jose De Leon, OF Garrett Whitley & cash.

No, I'm not necessarily rooting for a complete Texas Ranger rebuild, they just seem to be the team most ready to copy the White Sox' recent strategy of acquiring as many Top 100 prospects as possible for your older core. Also, I need Kyle Schwarber to DH somewhere. Some of those trades honestly make my eyes burn but, it sure would create a lot of havoc on a fun timeline and that was my whole purpose in figuring those ***FLAWLESS*** trade ideas out. 

Happy Rosenthal Season! and may the trades be in your team's favor.

Quick Thoughts On Sports, Music and the Dog Days of Summer

The middle of July is always a nice time to schedule a family reunion or a vacation of the traveling variety because there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING going on in the world of sports and/or entertainment for a couple of weeks. Sure, baseball is a joy to experience but, takes quite a bit of patience to watch that so many people lack in 2017. Football is still weeks away from their preseason hypefest and Summer League basketball has wrapped up along with most of free agency (unless you REALLY need to know where Derrick Rose ends up and it's somehow not China).

Any chance I have at a non-injury related diss of Derrick Rose, I will take.

As some might have noticed, my blog has been suspiciously quiet this Summer and that is the result of A. Life happening and B. The WRBL Year In Review for 2016 coming at a snail's pace sometime before the WRBL Draft of 2017. With all of the content coming this Fall and Winter, I'm hoping to even things out a bit. Until then, I am conserving most of my energy the way Miguel Sano did during the Home Run Derby. Speaking of which, I am so elated that the MLB has absolutely nailed down the perfect format for a derby. It's just a shame that Aaron Judge did not use the final two minutes he had remaining on the clock as he had already clinched a win for the real Mid-Summer Classic.

I continue to love NBA free agency but, there is something unfamiliar in the air that brings me down a bit and that's the seemingly 100% unbreakable truth that is the Warriors remaining unbeatable. Chris Paul, Paul George, Jimmy Butler and Gordon Hayward all changed teams and yet, nothing is different about the league. The Warriors keep adding shooters and ignoring big men because why not? Nick "Swaggy P" Young should be fun to watch and Omri Casspi is criminally underrated. Their main rivals in Cleveland added two lesser names in washed up Point Guard Jose Calderon and consistently inconsistent Jeff Green. Yawning after a July like this in basketball should not be acceptable but, it has become reality.

HBO's The Defiant Ones is a four-part documentary about the rise of musical masterminds Jimmy Iovine and Dr. Dre and is just as fun as I thought it would be. It has been so long since the Stevie Nicks/Tom Petty duet and Marilyn Manson's rise that I had forgotten either existed despite the huge impact both had on music and somehow, Iovine was behind the scenes for everyone's peaks. The 260-minute series also does not shy away from the Dee Barnes lawsuit with Dr. Dre and has interviews with Bono, Kendrick Lamar and so many more. It does not hurt the series that the songs playing throughout could all be considered classics now.

Some gems of albums are coming out this season with Broken Social Scene, Waxahatchee and Lorde already making this a Summer to remember for indieheads of the world. Typically, I only have one album that I focus all of my hype and future attention to at any given moment but, with Tyler The Creator, Arcade Fire, LCD Soundsystem, The Killers, Kesha, Declan McKenna, Passion Pit and Lana Del Rey all coming in with new albums, my brain is just uncertain on how to process all this exciting content falling onto my Spotify playlists. I kind of want everything now but, I'm pretty certain that Arcade Fire is telling me that that is a bad thing? (I really don't know what their talking about anymore but, it's more fun and danceable than ever before).

Along with my music suggestions, I have to suggest listening to The Starters Podcast this Summer (specifically, their Drop-off episodes that run weekly during the NBA offseason) as they have moved on from the sometimes repetitive topic of sports to the most bizarre of topics like this week's "Would You Rather?" episode that answered tremendous questions like "Would you rather crap yourself once a week in private or once a year in public?". Trust me when I say that you cannot get content like that anywhere else.

Finally, I'd like to give a shout out to my cat Whisper, who died right before my most recent post at the age of 13. She was a pretty dope cat and I respect all dope animals that just let humans sleep when they need to sleep and know how and where to go to the bathroom immediately upon arrival in their respective houses while occasionally being comic relief ("Oh, what's that? You're about to read something on a table?" SITS ON BOOK. She caught like 15-30 mice last Summer that may have otherwise overthrown the household so yeah... RIP Whisper Todd: War Hero and Cool Cat.

Born too late to hear Dr. Dre in his prime, lived long enough to experience dank memes.