Wisconsin Rapids Bro League
Week Eight
Our Seventh Official Season of blaming Cole Walters for BING BONG.
Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks)
Steven Nett Division
Scott's Many Endeavors (Nick Zurawski) 8-0 W8
Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 5-3 L2
Yeezy Taught Me (Nathaniel Hoefs) 3-5 L1
Todd's Plan (Andy Todd) 2-6 L1
Tanner Glaza Division
Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 4-4 W2
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 4-4 W1
SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 3-5 L3
Take Mahomes Country Roads (Ryan Dougherty) 3-5 W1
Week Eight Final Scores
NICK defeats ANDY 131.28 - 124.46
RYAN defeats HOEFS 114.12 - 113.56
COLE defeats DARRIN 106.86 - 100.8
ALEC defeats SNEEN 125.75 - 111
Heroes of the Week: WR A.J. Brown (31.5), WR Michael Pittman Jr. (30.6), QB Josh Allen (29.46)
Waiver Wonders: QB Jimmy Garoppolo (27.28), QB Mike White (26.1), QB Justin Fields (25.3)
What-if of the Week: If Andy would have started WR Tyler Lockett (26.2) over WR Kadarius Toney (7.36), he'd have ended Nick's undefeated, eight-game winning streak.
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Getty Images
Waiver Wonder: QB Mike White (37/45-405-3-2 + 1 cool 2-pt. conversion) |
Upcoming Week 9 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)
Nick v. Sneen
Cole v. Ryan
Hoefs v. Darrin
Alec v. Andy
Thursday Night Football: NY Jets @ Indianapolis 7:20 PM
Sunday NOON: Cleveland @ Cincinnati
Denver @ Dallas
Houston @ Miami
Atlanta @ New Orleans
Las Vegas @ NY Giants
New England @ Carolina
Buffalo @ Jacksonville
Minnesota @ Baltimore
3:05 PM: LA Chargers @ Philadelphia
3:25 PM: Green Bay @ Kansas City
Arizona @ San Francisco
Sunday Night Football: Tennessee @ LA Rams 7:20 PM
Monday Night Football: Chicago @ Pittsburgh 7:15 PM
BYES: Tampa Bay, Seattle, Washington, Detroit
Bro...
It sure is a shame we have nothing to talk about going into week 9.... In times of slow news days like these, all we need is love... Jordan Love that is. With Aaron Rodgers taking advice from his personal Doctor (Presumably Dr. Dre, who just tried to sell him a Beats Pill even though I haven't seen one of those things in a few years) instead of taking the widely-approved and accepted easy route of vaccination, this complicated fella decided to apply the Rodgers Rate cocktail of mindfulness, hair-growth hormones and vacationing with Miles Teller to his immune system and will now miss one of the most hyped games of the year, Packers-Chiefs. The good news is that we finally get to make instant overreactions to Jordan Love, last season's shocking first-round pick that was supposed to be a benchwarmer until what? 2024? His odds of a successful first start go way up against the league's weakest non-Lion defense and a completely wonky/broken Chiefs offense. Will anybody dare take the ultimate step toward the future and add Jordan Love in the WRBL? Maybe not but, I'm personally buying into huge days for all the running backs involved in Kansas City on Sunday (Yes, A.J. Dillon included).
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Quinn Harris/Getty Images
After both Rodgers and practice squad QB Kurt Benkert tested positive for COVID-19, Green Bay re-signed garbage time legend Blake Bortles. |
While turning down vaccination might indirectly kill somebody, driving under intoxication at twice the speed limit (and then some) tends to either kill everyone involved in the general vicinity of said stupidity or just the person committing the crime. Drafted 14 picks ahead of Love, now-former Raider Henry Ruggs will hopefully spend any remaining time he had in the NFL behind bars after killing 23-year old Tina Tintor and her dog while Ruggs was twice the amount of drunk as a normal, still illegally driving moron would be. I don't know how or why he was allowed to survive this but he'll have a long way to go before even the most lenient of people are willing to welcome him back into everyday society after such a careless lack of decency and logic (Uber and Lyft are everywhere, people). Most importantly, rest in peace to the victim and the family that has to mourn a life lost so senselessly. From a "seriously? Who even cares about this part?" football angle, what a waste of talent and miserable time to be a Raider fan, having a highly-publicized WINNING team still be so disastrously ugly internally must be something that has erased any joy along the way.
Continuing along the lines of serious topics, the one thing that has thankfully become more prevalent in everyday life (let alone sports), is one's own acknowledgement of their mental health and taking time off to care for one's state of mind. Burnout is real and whether or not you believe what's going on with Ben Simmons of the Philadelphia 76ers is by his own doing, ultimately it's clear that he's uncomfortable in that locker room and that should be addressed whether through transaction or open discussion/private acknowledgement. Eagles tackle Lane Johnson had to take two weeks off earlier this season to manage his reaction to cutting down on his intake of anti-anxiety medication and his teammate (Eagles' Guard) Brandon Brooks quietly did the same a few years back, missing multiple games due to dehydration from vomiting as a result of his own severe anxiety. The further we go as a society in removing the stigma surrounding mental health, the better. There's probably still thousands of fans out there saying "suck it up and get back in to do your job" but will it be worth it if that person is (best case scenario) too distracted to live up to their full potential or (worst case scenario) driven to harm themselves physically or mentally? We need more bosses that naturally say "Take your time and come back when you think you can and we'll be right here for you". I'd rather have Calvin Ridley an understandably frustrating, possibly physically healthy inactive than brandishing a knife in open traffic ala former Viking first-rounder Dimitrius Underwood. Come back when you're ready, Calvin.
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AP Photo/Tyler Kaufman
Despite not getting the W for record-keeping purposes as the backup, Saints' Trevor Siemian was forced into the starting lineup and will be QB1 going forward as a result of his win over Tampa. |
Does the NFL have one more week of miraculous backup quarterback victories up their sleeves or have the Chase Daniel All-Stars lost their magic with further exposure to the spotlight? 2021 being the year of the sport underdog continued this past week with the Atlanta Braves winning the World Series after losing their Game 1 starting pitcher Charlie Morton to a broken leg in addition to the already absent Mike Soroka and Ronald Acuna Jr. and that spirit of Goliath being outdone by David carried over into the NFL with the backup quarterbacks taking over (maybe a good sign for Jordan Love?) for their predecessors in victorious performances. Not only did Trevor Siemian help the Saints hang on to a lead after Lasik Jameis tore his ACL (no amount of visual surgeries could have seen that coming) over the defending Super Bowl champions but, former Cowboy practice squad QB Mike White broke the NFL record for completions in a first start as the Jets upset the Bengals. The fun didn't end there with Geno Smith leading Seattle to a destructive 34-7 win over the Jaguars AFTER Jacksonville's bye week. Yikes. All of those performances were outshone by Cooper Rush (the man that beat out White to stay in Dallas) in relief of a still sore and cautious Dak Prescott on Sunday Night Football. The Vikings somehow couldn't win with the benefit of THREE unnecessary roughness calls on the SAME drive and Rush stuck with top-target Amari Cooper in an instantly memorable 20-16 win over Minnesota. Somewhere, Kellly Holcomb is smiling.
Week 9 is bound to be the most fun I've had all season after my WRBL start has been... subpar. I will be in Pittsville for my TD-only league's mid-season draft. Will we sacrifice a 1st rounder in next year's draft for a probable keeper to be instantly added to our roster (after Darren Waller and Darrell Henderson proved to be recent success stories?) or will we settle with replacing a backup kicker and a bye week cover-up defense? Well, the trading candles' fumes were already in the air with Todd's Tornados dealing Jordan Love (prior to his first start) for Baker Mayfield AND Courtland Sutton so the trade discussions are clearly in motion already. I will provide updates next week. The obvious highlight for this meeting will be Chiefs-Packers with basically every relevant player besides Darrel Williams likely starting in this league. Jets-Colts starts off the weekend on Thursday, followed by a noon slate that sees the now Odell Beckham-less Browns (he is going to be released if he hasn't been already at posting time) play the AFC North co-leading Cincinnati Bengals, overachievers that aren't ready for the big show in case you forgot about that whole Mike White dominance from last Sunday. Vikings-Ravens should put the nail in Mike Zimmer's Minnesota coaching career coffin. Does the Manningcast curse (all 5 active players to appear on ESPN2's Monday night feed have lost their following games) end with Josh Allen facing Josh Allen as it's Buffalo v. Jacksonville? Do the Manning brothers acknowledge how bad Big Ben looks when Chicago Bears down on his noodle arm Monday? Do Von Miller or Adrian Peterson make their Ram or Titan debuts? SO MUCH UNCERTAINTY! Like Bart Scott once said... "Can't Wait!"
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Scott Galvin - USA TODAY Sports
With Kyler Murray not practicing near the end of the week, Cards-Niners might take a backseat in viewership if it's Colt McCoy (above) under center. |
The Wisconsin Rapids Bro League is great and all but only one owner is showing true greatness right now and that's Nick Zurawski. Nick skirted past me on Monday night despite his two players (Tyreek Hill & Daniel Jones) not being as many as my three (Darrel Williams, Kadarius Toney & Travis Kelce). Will anybody catch the likeliest future NFL GM? It's certainly looking less likely with Darrin dropping another game to Cole without Derrick Henry for the remainder of 2021 (damn). Derrick Henry is still RB1 in WRBL by 39.9 points over Alec's Jonathan Taylor, the player carrying the load for the #1 team (by tiebreaker) in the Tanner Glaza Division. Alec faces a fiesty yet tired Todd's Plan this week, mainly just hoping their wad wasn't shot last week when Nick sneaked in a win over the third-highest scoring team in Week 8. Second-highest scoring team? Tax Paying Homeowner. I guess there's always next week... Good luck to all but especially those that I didn't mention here (Hoefs v. Darrin and Cole v. Ryan) as you'll need to start winning more consistently to earn the headlines here in a week where Michael Thomas's Saints tenure likely coming to an end due to an ankle that's basically cost him two full seasons barely registers as newsworthy. Can't wait to see what the Friday news dump this week i-...
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| Not a traditional "news dump" but okay. |
Scoring Leaders
QB
Tom Brady 200.9 (Sneen)
Lamar Jackson 165.72 (Nick)
Patrick Mahomes 161.62 (Ryan)
Kyler Murray 151.96 (Hoefs)
Josh Allen 148.56 (Cole)
Aaron Rodgers 139.4 (Darrin)
Joe Burrow 117 (Alec)
Russell Wilson 98.64 (Andy)
Derek Carr 35.68 (Alec)
Daniel Jones 32.62 (Cole/Nick)
Tua Tagovailoa 26.54 (Cole)
Matthew Stafford 24.2 (Darrin)
Ryan Tannehill 21.2 (Andy)
Justin Fields 14.42 (Andy)
Jalen Hurts 11.22 (Ryan)
Justin Herbert 11 (Hoefs)
RB
Derrick Henry 193.3 (Darrin)
Jonathan Taylor 153.4 (Alec)
Austin Ekeler 153.2 (Sneen)
Aaron Jones 143 (Ryan)
Najee Harris 142.2 (Cole)
Alvin Kamara 137.6 (Darrin)
Ezekiel Elliott 125.9 (Nick)
Joe Mixon 120.5 (Nick)
Nick Chubb 90.7 (Ryan)
James Robinson 74.7 (Ryan)
Dalvin Cook 73.7 (Sneen)
Darrell Henderson 73.3 (Sneen)
D'Andre Swift 68.9 (Cole)
David Montgomery 59.8 (Alec)
Christian McCaffrey 58.4 (Hoefs)
Antonio Gibson 58.3 (Andy)
Chase Edmonds 56.2 (Hoefs)
Saquon Barkley 55.6 (Cole)
Leonard Fournette 55 (Darrin)
Chuba Hubbard 50.6 (Andy/Nick)
Damien Harris 50.4 (Andy)
Alexander Mattison 49.4 (Hoefs/Andy)
Darrel Williams 48.9 (Andy)
Kareem Hunt 36.7 (Hoefs)
Elijah Mitchell 36.4 (Andy)
Chris Carson 35.4 (Nick)
Clyde Edwards-Helaire 32.2 (Hoefs)
Cordarrelle Patterson 30.3 (Sneen)
Khalil Herbert 27.1 (Alec)
Alex Collins 26 (Andy/Alec)
D'Ernest Johnson 24.8 (Hoefs)
Myles Gaskin 21.1 (Cole)
Miles Sanders 17.3 (Nick)
Josh Jacobs 17 (Darrin)
Mike Davis 12.1 (Alec)
Melvin Gordon 11.2 (Ryan)
James Conner 10.7 (Sneen)
Kenyan Drake 10.5 (Ryan)
J.D. McKissic 9.6 (Cole)
Zack Moss 5.9 (Ryan)
Kenneth Gainwell 2.7 (Hoefs)
Raheem Mostert 2 (Cole)
James White 0.6 (Andy)
WR
Cooper Kupp 214.9 (Hoefs)
Tyreek Hill 177.8 (Nick)
Davante Adams 144.4 (Cole)
DeAndre Hopkins 125.6 (Darrin)
DK Metcalf 122.7 (Alec)
Stefon Diggs 110.3 (Hoefs)
Amari Cooper 107 (Ryan)
Keenan Allen 106.6 (Andy)
A.J. Brown 104.2 (Alec)
Justin Jefferson 97.24 (Alec)
Michael Pittman Jr. 97.2 (Ryan)
Adam Thielen 96.5 (Darrin)
Deebo Samuel 95.9 (Nick)
Mike Evans 95.5 (Andy)
D.J. Moore 90.2 (Sneen)
CeeDee Lamb 89.6 (Hoefs)
Terry McLaurin 86.6 (Nick)
Brandin Cooks 83.5 (Darrin)
Chris Godwin 77.8 (Alec)
Mike Williams 76.5 (Sneen)
Ja'Marr Chase 74.3 (Sneen)
Calvin Ridley 71.1 (Andy)
Diontae Johnson 49.6 (Andy)
Robert Woods 46.2 (Sneen)
Jaylen Waddle 26.9 (Cole)
Courtland Sutton 26.5 (Cole)
Allen Robinson 24.6 (Sneen)
Jakobi Meyers 20.8 (Hoefs)
DeVonta Smith 19.8 (Ryan)
Julio Jones 19.4 (Ryan)
D.J. Chark 16.8 (Cole)
Randall Cobb 16.5 (Cole)
Tee Higgins 16 (Cole)
Emmanuel Sanders 14.1 (Cole)
Tyler Lockett 13.5 (Andy)
Hunter Renfrow 12.8 (Hoefs)
Terry McLaurin 8.6 (Nick)
Marquise Brown 7.5 (Darrin)
Kadarius Toney 7.36 (Andy)
Chase Claypool 3.7 (Ryan)
TE
Travis Kelce 127 (Andy)
Mark Andrews 110.6 (Sneen)
T.J. Hockenson 87.9 (Alec)
Noah Fant 87 (Nick)
Darren Waller 82.8 (Hoefs)
Kyle Pitts 81.9 (Ryan)
Mike Gesicki 59.1 (Cole)
George Kittle 40.6 (Darrin)
Logan Thomas 33.7 (Cole)
Dalton Schultz 26.8 (Darrin)
Dallas Goedert 25.2 (Hoefs)
Tyler Higbee 15.1 (Darrin)
Rob Gronkowski 9.5 (Ryan)
Robert Tonyan 7.9 (Alec)
Dawson Knox 7.5 (Ryan)
Hunter Henry 4.3 (Sneen)
K
Tyler Bass 76 (Cole)
Justin Tucker 68 (Sneen)
Matt Gay 62 (Nick)
Brandon McManus 59 (Alec)
Harrison Butker 57 (Darrin)
Daniel Carlson 37 (Ryan)
Nick Folk 32 (Hoefs)
Matt Prater 29 (Andy/Sneen)
Mason Crosby 27 (Hoefs/Cole)
Jason Sanders 21 (Andy)
Younghoe Koo 17 (Hoefs)
Randy Bullock 12 (Andy)
Greg Joseph 12 (Ryan)
Greg Zuerlein 10 (Nick)
Josh Lambo 1 (Ryan)
DF
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 55 (Alec)
Arizona Cardinals 41 (Cole/Sneen)
Denver Broncos 40 (Andy)
Los Angeles Rams 38 (Cole/Andy)
New Orleans Saints 36 (Ryan)
Buffalo Bills 32 (Sneen/Nick)
Cleveland Browns 23 (Nick)
San Francisco 49ers 19 (Nick/Cole)
Carolina Panthers 18 (Darrin)
Dallas Cowboys 17 (Hoefs/Darrin)
New England Patriots 17 (Nick)
Pittsburgh Steelers 16 (Hoefs)
Indianapolis Colts 14 (Ryan/Nick)
Green Bay Packers 9 (Cole)
Atlanta Falcons 6 (Cole)
Las Vegas Raiders 4 (Hoefs)
Miami Dolphins 4 (Cole)
Washington Football Team 3 (Darrin)
Tennessee Titans 2 (Hoefs)
Cincinnati Bengals 2 (Nick/Hoefs)
Baltimore Ravens -2 (Sneen/Hoefs)
Chicago Bears -6 (Ryan)
Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose)
Scott's Many Endeavors 7-1
SNEEN MACHINE 4-4
Team ChowHounds 4-4
Tax Paying Homeowner 4-4
Take Mahomes Country Roads 4-4
Colieveland 96ers 3-5
Todd's Plan 2-6
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