Wisconsin Rapids Bro League
Week Two
Our Sixth Official Season of blaming Cole Walters for *gestures at the Hell World we are living through*
Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks)
Steven Nett Division
Rise From The Asch3s (Scott Aschebrook) 1-0-1 W1
Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 1-1 L1
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 1-1 L1
Shooter McGavin Division
The Golladay Inn (Ryan Dougherty) 1-1 W1
Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 1-1 L1
Christy Fichtner All-Stars (Andy Todd) 1-1 W1
Tanner Glaza Division
Free Chiquita (Nick Zurawski) 2-0 W5
Team Hoefs (Nathaniel Hoefs) 1-1 W1
SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 0-2 L3
Week One Final Scores
NICK defeats COLE 123.46-114.04
ANDY defeats ALEC 144.78 - 136.14
HOEFS defeats SNEEN 142.6 - 122.42
SCOTT defeats DARRIN 142.1 - 96.18
RYAN defeats BYE 190.02-0
Heroes of the Week: RB Alvin Kamara (38.4), QB Kyler Murray (32.14), WR Calvin Ridley (29.9)
AP Photo/David Becker
Hero of the Week: RB Alvin Kamara (Team ChowHounds)
Allen Eyestone/Palm Beach Post
Waiver Wonder: TE Mike Gesicki (8 catches, 130 yards, 1 TD)
What-if of the Week: Alec keeping Terry McLaurin (25.5) in his lineup instead of benching the Football Team WR for Marquise Brown (9.2) would have given him back-to-back wins over Andy Todd's Christy Fichtner All-Stars.
Upcoming Week 3 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)
Nick v. Sneen
Nick v. Sneen
Cole v. Hoefs
Alec v. Scott
Andy v. Ryan
Darrin v. BYE
Thursday Night Football: Miami @ Jacksonville 7:20 PM
Sunday NOON: Chicago @ Atlanta
LA Rams @ Buffalo
Washington @ Cleveland
Tennessee @ Minnesota
Las Vegas @ New England
San Francisco @ NY Giants
Cincinnati @ Philadelphia
Houston @ Pittsburgh
3:05 PM: NY Jets @ Indianapolis
Carolina @ LA Chargers
3:25 PM: Tampa Bay @ Denver
Detroit @ Arizona
Dallas @ Seattle
Sunday Night Football: Green Bay @ New Orleans 7:20 PM
Monday Night Football: Kansas City @ Baltimore 7:15 PM
Bro...
Every year, there is one week in the NFL season that is just BRUTAL for injuries to fantasy-relevant players, superstars and average Joes alike. After a COVID-shortened training camp with no preseason, it just so happens that this year's Misery Week occurred maybe 4-6 weeks before it usually does. I'm sure I speak for all other football fans when I say "Please don't let this be the norm going forward in the 2020 season". It's one thing to lose a few players every week (including preseason) until Week 5 or 6 when 18 former Pro Bowlers get hurt for significant amounts of time, it's another thing when two definitive first-rounders in fantasy, a bunch of fantasy-relevant skill position players and legitimately season-altering superstars like Nick Bosa, Mike Pouncey and Anthony Barr go to the IR. Speaking of the IR, I propose that if the three-game Injured Reserve is going to be a factor in 2021 and onward, that we at least expand our rosters to include a second IR spot because teams can exploit the IR now to give players that are "dinged up" extra rest like the Niners are doing right now with CB Richard Sherman and WR Deebo Samuel when they could both believably play in week three if it were up to them or team doctors. It's not something I'm incredibly passionate about but, it's something to consider going forward as things get both potentially scary and wonky.
Andy Cross - The Denver Post
Denver QB Drew Lock was one of many players to leave the field in Week Two, forever altering the 2020 fantasy football season.
How will these injuries affect the upcoming week's NFL action? The Jaguars just promoted a kicker who hit 59% of his field goals in college so, good luck to former Georgia State kicker Brandon Wright (replacing injured Josh Lambo) in his Thursday Night Football debut against the Dolphins (minus CB Byron Jones). The noon slate sees Nick Mullens, Jerick McKinnon, Ezekiel Ansah and Dion Jordan (All eligible for NFL Zombie performance status) of the 1-1 49ers face the Devonta Freeman or Dion Lewis-led New York Giants (with Saquon Barkley on IR). Late afternoon, we'll all be curious to see Justin Herbert's likely second-ever start against RB Mike Davis and the Carolina Panthers with Tyrod Taylor probably sidelined after the Chargers' team doctor did Chargers' team doctor stuff (this includes stabbing a man's lung, something Philip Rivers somehow never encountered in sixteen seasons with the team). All eyes will be on Adam Schefter's Twitter to find out if Michael Thomas is eligible to torch the Packers' secondary or if Drew Brees will need to noodle-arm the pigskin to a bunch of now league-average receiving options and then, the game of the year (so far) on Monday Night Football between last year's Super Bowl MVP (Patrick Mahomes) and 2019's regular season MVP (Lamar Jackson). [ALEX SILKA MONEY LEAGUE ALERT] Coincidentally, in my touchdown-only league, my Todd's Tornados will be starting Patrick Mahomes against our opponent (The Rays) Lamar Jackson, so you know I am ALL IN on devouring this game with my eyeballs (which are now mouths for some reason, shout out to Madonna). Father Todd and I are looking for our SIXTEENTH consecutive win after setting the Win-streak record (during his 41st season!) last week with a 54-52 comeback win thanks to Darren Waller's Monday night heroics.
Back to the MIL (Most Important League & not Milwaukee, the city that houses an inferior basketball squad to the Heat), the WRBL will also be affected by the injury list from week 2 going forward with back-to-back MVP Christian McCaffrey out 4-6 weeks, leaving Scott to scramble for any and all available talent. Luckily for him, CMac's injury happened after he scored two touchdowns and Darrin's team decided to drop a sub-100 point total and in this league, if you aren't breaking triple digits, you aren't doing a good job (see: Christy Fichtner All-Stars' week 1, 2020). In a surprise to some (ok, maybe it's just me), McCaffrey's likely replacement Mike Davis was claimed off waivers by Andy as he looks to add depth with Le'Veon Bell sidelined on IR. This week, Andy replaced Bell as his FLEX position player with A.J. Green... the player he ultimately cut for Davis. The under-performance of Green and teammate Joe Mixon on Thursday Night Football did not prevent Andy from splitting the rematch of week one's Tax Paying Homeowner blowout. Instead, one innocent lineup change of benching Terry McLaurin for Marquise Brown ended up shifting Alec's fortunes from one W and no L's to one of each. Nick Zurawski may have lost both Saquon Barkley and Raheem Mostert to injury but, he would not lose the match versus Cole this week thanks to heroic performances from both budding-superstar WR Calvin Ridley and a surprise 3-TD showing by TE Tyler Higbee. The Bye Week was anything but a week of rest and relaxation for Ryan's team as he spent the week conjuring up a team name change (He chose "The Golladay Inn" over "Washington Fantasy Football Team" as the latter would have broken the character limit on team names) and his lineup dropped 190 en route to an easy W as the league's top scorer. Finally, Nathaniel Hoefs has done something Noah Bakunowicz didn't do in our one unofficial season and has recorded his first WRBL victory! Tyler Sneen was the sacrificial lamb as he is the only WRBL team to drop to 0-2 (Nick being the only 2-0 team). The going should get easier for SNEEN MACHINE with no major injuries to report for the team (a rarity) but plenty of questionables going into week 3 might just hamper his team for a while.
Joe Sargent - Getty Images
Sticking with RB James Conner proved to be key to Nathaniel's first WRBL victory as the Steeler RB bounced back with a 20+ point performance after sharing the backfield with Benny Snell week one.
Week 3's WRBL schedule sees 2-0 Nick versus 0-2 Sneen so, put your reverse-jinxes into the air now as we harness the energy of the sports gods into a SNEEN MACHINE victory (PS: CELTS IN 7). I'll be taking on Ryan, who's counting on Jerry Jeudy to benefit with Denver's #1 WR Courtland Sutton now on IR with a Torn ACL as I will be giving Jacksonville RB James Robinson his first WRBL start, three weeks into a career started as an undrafted free agent out of Illinois State. Alec looks to rebound with "Franchise?" WR Allen Robinson playing the shitty Falcons secondary against Scott, now minus his two-time MVP (How will he ever establish the run??? "Give Dak more sneaks!" screamed Mike McCarthy). Meanwhile, Cole looks to humble Hoefs with hopefully healthy Chris Godwin and a haphazard lineup with Holy Hell! Myles Gaskin is here!? hahaha. As always, Cole will be the one with last laugh because QB Kyler Murray might just be the hottest under center in the league right now and he spends a majority of his time in the shotgun! Darrin doesn't play anybody this week yet simultaneously plays everyone. Are we sure he's aware of this? I only ask because I care. I mean... not about Darrin's team but you know, for the sake of fairness. Good luck to all as the field quality at the Meadowlands is apparently good to go! Hopefully all of our ligaments are just as lucky to get the green light for weeks ahead.
Scoring Leaders
QB
Russell Wilson 65.20 (Ryan)
Matt Ryan 52.42 (Sneen)
Patrick Mahomes 47.92 (Andy)
Lamar Jackson 45.06 (Nick)
Joe Burrow 40.86 (Alec)
DeShaun Watson 35.52 (Hoefs)
Kyler Murray 32.14 (Cole)
Tom Brady 29.14 (Darrin)
Josh Allen 28.18 (Cole)
Aaron Rodgers 19.20 (Scott)
Dak Prescott 17.64 (Scott)
RB
Aaron Jones 63.2 (Ryan)
Alvin Kamara 62.1 (Darrin)
Christian McCaffrey 53.2 (Scott)
Ezekiel Elliott 49.9 (Alec)
Josh Jacobs 49.4 (Scott)
Chris Carson 44.4 (Ryan)
Dalvin Cook 38.9 (Sneen)
Jonathan Taylor 33.9 (Alec)
Clyde Edwards-Helaire 32.8 (Scott)
Melvin Gordon 32.0 (Darrin)
Nick Chubb 31.9 (Sneen)
Austin Ekeler 28.5 (Andy)
David Johnson 26.9 (Nick)
Kenyan Drake 26.0 (Nick)
Derrick Henry 24.5 (Cole)
James Conner 23.8 (Hoefs)
Todd Gurley 19.8 (Darrin)
Joe Mixon 18.7 (Andy)
Saquon Barkley 15.4 (Nick)
Ronald Jones 10.7 (Hoefs)
James White 8.2 (Hoefs)
Boston Scott 7.4 (Cole)
J.K. Dobbins 7.1 (Cole)
Le'Veon Bell 6.6 (Andy)
WR
Calvin Ridley 63.8 (Nick)
DeAndre Hopkins 49.9 (Cole)
Davante Adams 48.2 (Darrin)
Tyreek Hill 37.4 (Hoefs)
Adam Thielen 37.1 (Darrin)
Tyler Lockett 36.9 (Alec)
JuJu Smith-Schuster 36.7 (Sneen)
Diontae Johnson 32.9 (Ryan)
D.J. Moore 29.4 (Hoefs)
Robert Woods 29.2 (Nick)
Julio Jones 29.1 (Sneen)
Allen Lazard 25.7 (Cole)
Jamison Crowder 24.5 (Ryan)
Keenan Allen 24.3 (Andy)
Mike Evans 23.4 (Ryan)
Marvin Jones 21.8 (Hoefs)
Cooper Kupp 21.0 (Andy)
Odell Beckham Jr. 19.6 (Scott)
Allen Robinson 18.6 (Alec)
Robby Anderson 17.9 (Cole)
Stefon Diggs 16.6 (Sneen)
Amari Cooper 16.0 (Scott)
Chris Godwin 13.9 (Cole)
Terry McLaurin 11.1 (Alec)
T.Y. Hilton 9.3 (Scott)
Marquise Brown 9.2 (Alec)
Darius Slayton 6.3 (Ryan)
A.J. Green 5.9 (Andy)
Michael Thomas 4.7 (Ryan)
Emmanuel Sanders 2.8 (Sneen)
TE
Travis Kelce 41.0 (Hoefs)
Darren Waller 38.8 (Ryan)
Tyler Higbee 28.4 (Nick)
Mark Andrews 26.7 (Darrin)
Hayden Hurst 25.0 (Alec)
Jonnu Smith 24.4 (Andy)
Zach Ertz 20.0 (Scott)
Noah Fant 19.1 (Cole)
Evan Engram 15.4 (Sneen)
T.J. Hockenson 10.2 (Cole)
George Kittle 9.3 (Nick)
Blake Jarwin 2.2 (Andy)
K
Justin Tucker 25 (Scott)
Harrison Butker 23 (Sneen)
Rodrigo Blankenship 22 (Andy)
Wil Lutz 16 (Hoefs)
Chris Boswell 15 (Nick)
Greg Zuerlein 15 (Darrin)
Matt Prater 13 (Alec)
Mason Crosby 11 (Cole)
Jake Elliott 11 (Ryan)
Ka'imi Fairbairn 1 (Cole)
DF
Baltimore Ravens 27 (Alec)
Pittsburgh Steelers 23 (Hoefs)
Chicago Bears 13 (Scott)
Los Angeles Chargers 12 (Cole)
New England Patriots 12 (Ryan)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 11 (Andy)
Arizona Cardinals 9 (Nick)
Buffalo Bills 9 (Darrin)
San Francisco 49ers 7 (Sneen)
Indianapolis Colts 6 (Andy)
Philadelphia Eagles 5 (Nick)
New Orleans Saints 3 (Ryan)
Kansas City Chiefs -1 (Cole)
Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose, 5th = BYE)
The Golladay Inn 2-0
Free Chiquita 2-0
Rise From The Asch3s 1-0
Team ChowHounds 1-1
Colieveland 96ers 1-1
Christy Fichtner All-Stars 1-1
Tax Paying Homeowner 0-1
SNEEN MACHINE 0-2
Team Hoefs 0-2
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