Wednesday, November 25, 2015

WRBL Week 11 2015 (not 2016)

The Wisconsin Rapids Bro League

Week 11

Our 2nd semi-official season of blaming Cole Walters for a turkeyless Thanksgiving


Current Standings
Mac Division
Nick's Mopey Team of Sadness (Nick Zurawski) 7-4 W2
Team Moon (Evan Moon) 7-4 W6
Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds (Father Aschebrook) 6-5 L5
Sneen Machine (Tyler Sneen) 6-5 L2
Bilbo Unable To Braggins (Scott Aschebrook) 3-8 L2

Cheese Division
Spider 2 Y Banana (Andy Todd) 7-4 L1
Arian Foster's Achilles Heel (Alec Swanson) 7-4 W1
Show Stoppers (Cole Walters) 6-5 W2
Team Silka (Alex Silka) 5-6 W2
Team Tiffany (Josh Tiffany) 1-10 L5

Week Eleven Final Scores

ZURAWSKI  102  ASCHEBROOK SR.  96
MOON  87  SNEEN  70
SILKA  106  TODD  102
SWANSON  109  TIFFANY  67
WALTERS  101  ASCHEBROOK  90

AP Photo/Chuck Burton
Hero of the Week: QB Cam Newton (Team Tiffany)
Heroes of the Week: QB Cam Newton (Tiffany), WR DeAndre Hopkins (Zurawski), QB Russell Wilson (Silka)

 Zeros of the Week: Owner Josh Tiffany (Tiffany), REF NFL Referees, REF College Football Referees

AP Photo/Morry Gash
Zero of the Week: College Football Referees
Upcoming Week 12 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)
Spider 2 Y Banana v. Nick's Mopey Team of Sadness
Bilbo Unable To Braggins v. Sneen Machine
Arian Foster's Achilles Heel v. Show Stoppers
Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds v. Team Moon
Team Tiffany v. Team Silka

Thanksgiving Games: Philadelphia @ Detroit 11:30 AM
Carolina @ Dallas 3:30 PM
Chicago @ Green Bay 7:30 PM
Sunday: Oakland @ Tennessee NOON
Buffalo @ Kansas City NOON
Tampa Bay @ Indianapolis NOON
NY Giants @ Washington NOON
New Orleans @ Houston NOON
Minnesota @ Atlanta NOON
St. Louis @ Cincinnati NOON
San Diego @ Jacksonville NOON
Miami @ NY Jets NOON
Arizona @ San Francisco 3:05 PM
Pittsburgh @ Seattle 3:25 PM
New England @ Denver 7:30 PM
Monday: Baltimore @ Cleveland 7:30 PM

Bro...
The lowest scoring fantasy weekend of the season featured some horrific refereeing, the ending of Baltimore's 2015 season and about 80% of fantasy studs disappearing into the background, creating havoc for many team owners. Despite the valiant return of the Denver receiving corps and Green Bay's offense, Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds dropped a fifth straight loss to Nick's Mopey Team of Sadness and after starting 6-0, Aschebrook Sr. is in dire need of a win in order to just make the playoffs. Team Moon won his sixth consecutive match and now, the Sneen Machine is behind Thee Chowhounds due to the points-for tiebreaker.  One upset occurred as Team Silka's best offense was playing defense as Tom Brady put up a respectable 13 points for Spider 2 Y Banana but, his favorite target on Monday Night Football was Danny Amendola, who put up 20 points before suffering the inevitable Amendola injury and Silka beat the odds and the Banana (nobody knows what it means but, it's provocative) by a measly four points. Alec predictably destroyed now 1-10 Team Tiffany as Josh knew his team was awful, did just enough to get that one win and never fixed his lineup again. In the game of the week, Cole led Scott by 3 points headed into the boring Buffalo-New England game and thanks to LeSean McCoy's touchdown run and multiple dump-offs, Cole ended Scott's season with a 101-90 win and survived an okay night from Brandon LaFell (10 points) and the way-too-common disappointment of just six points from Sammy Watkins. 

Thursday Night Football was a sign of things to come from Week 11 as Blake Bortles and Allen Hurns were brutally disappointing after pretty much dominating the entire season on people's benches. Tony Romo returned and now the Dallas Greg Hardys are mediocre enough to compete in the NFC East at 3-7. Baltimore lost RB Justin Forsett to a broken arm and QB Joe Flacco to a surprisingly Torn ACL and are now the weakest Raven team possibly in franchise history. Brock Osweiler looked solid and we won't have to worry about worthless bum Peyton Manning ever again (unless you also mute his Nationwide commercials). Matt Ryan looks very average with a washed up Roddy White giving him no help and having Julio Jones as his only serious receiving threat after a 3-point loss to the Matt Hasselbeck-led Colts. The Panthers and Patriots are still undefeated and have reached double-digit wins. Kansas City annihilated the Chargers as Philip Rivers & company appear to be trying to get LA the number one pick to go along with their new team. The Packers' offense looked shaky again but, it appears Eddie Lacy is back and their defense can show up against playoff teams, they just sometimes decide not to and the Bengals prime-time woes continued in a last-minute loss to 8-2 Arizona.

Who will get to eat turkey on Thursday Night Football? Hopefully, not Eddie Lacy.
Get ready to set your lineups early because this Thursday is Thanksgiving and that means there are three football games! Players you will be thankful for this Thursday may or may not include DeMarco Murray, Tony Romo, Dez Bryant, Cam Newton, Aaron Rodgers, Randall Cobb and Matt Forte. One thing we are all certainly thankful for is the end of bye weeks FINALLY. Even with the byes out of the way, Sunday's football slate still only features two 3:00 games with the main course being Pittsburgh at Seattle (HUGE game for Seattle, big game for the Steelers). Sunday Night Football will be the most-hyped game of the week between the Denver Broncos and their awesome defense and the Patriots and their Tom Brady-led offense (which by default, is awesome). Monday Night Football features Matt Schaub, Javorius Allen, Kamar Aiken, Crockett Gilmore, Josh McCown, Travis Benjamin and Gary Barnidge in a game we will all ignore thanks to Mike Pettine's decision to bench Johnny Manziel and basically get himself fired at the end of the year. My barely 1st place Spider 2 Y Banana faces Nick and his depressed team in an important battle of the 7-4's. The strangest part of this match-up is that the Quarterbacking battle will be between real-life opponents Derek Carr & Marcus Mariota with most of our match-up being decided by the Oakland-Tennessee game. Team Tiffany will hand-feed another win to Team Silka and Scott will at least look to upset Sneen and play spoiler to the Machine's entire season. Cole and Alec will try to start the right Quarterbacks this week as they fight over playoff seeding and Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds look to end a five-game losing streak against Team Moon and his six-game winning streak. Good luck to all and may your Thanksgiving's involve more food than mine as I will strictly be watching football on Thursday and... I don't know, getting a sub or something? Either way, it will be more enjoyable than it was sitting in the stands during that Badgers-Northwestern game!

Trade made before Week 11: Scott acquired WR Rueben Randle from Cole for WR Larry Fitzgerald

2015 Scoring Leaders

QB
Tom Brady 230 (TODD)
Aaron Rodgers 202 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Russell Wilson 161 (SILKA)
Drew Brees 158 (SNEEN)
Philip Rivers 143 (MOON)
Matt Ryan 138 (SWANSON)
Cam Newton 131 (TIFFANY)
Carson Palmer 126 (ASCHEBROOK)
Eli Manning 113 (WALTERS)
Andrew Luck 112 (ZURAWSKI)
Tyrod Taylor 61 (ASCHEBROOK)
Peyton Manning 57 (TIFFANY)
Blake Bortles 55 (TODD/ASCHEBROOK SR./SWANSON)
Sam Bradford 40 (MOON)
Derek Carr 36 (ZURAWSKI)
Andy Dalton 23 (WALTERS)
Ben Roethlisberger 23 (WALTERS)
Tony Romo 19 (WALTERS/SNEEN)
Ryan Tannehill 19 (ASCHEBROOK/ZURAWSKI)
Ryan Fitzpatrick 15 (WALTERS)
Colin Kaepernick 13 (SNEEN)
Alex Smith 13 (ZURAWSKI)


RB
Devonta Freeman 203 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Adrian Peterson 162 (MOON)
Mark Ingram 159 (ZURAWSKI)
Lamar Miller 158 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK)
Danny Woodhead 144 (TIFFANY)
DeMarco Murray 139 (SNEEN)
Chris Ivory 133 (WALTERS)
LeSean McCoy 124 (WALTERS)
Doug Martin 116 (SWANSON)
Matt Forte 115 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Todd Gurley 115 (TODD)
Justin Forsett 114 (SNEEN)
Jonathan Stewart 113 (TIFFANY)
Jamaal Charles 96 (ASCHEBROOK)
Latavius Murray 91 (MOON)
Marshawn Lynch 79 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK)
DeAngelo Williams 75 (SILKA)
Arian Foster 73 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)
Carlos Hyde 73 (TODD)
Jeremy Langford 73 (WALTERS)
Giovani Bernard 59 (ZURAWSKI)
Dion Lewis 58 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Charcandrick West 58 (TODD)
Darren McFadden 56 (ASCHEBROOK)
T.J. Yeldon 55 (SNEEN)
Frank Gore 54 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Jeremy Hill 49 (MOON)
Eddie Lacy 42 (SILKA)
Melvin Gordon 36 (WALTERS)
C.J. Anderson 34 (TIFFANY)
Theo Riddick 34 (WALTERS/SILKA)
Duke Johnson Jr. 33 (TODD)
Ameer Abdullah 26 (TODD)
Isaiah Crowell 23 (SILKA)
Antonio Andrews 21 (SWANSON)
LeGarrette Blount 21 (ZURAWSKI)
James Starks 20 (TODD)
Shane Vereen 20 (SNEEN)
Chris Johnson 18 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)
Andre Ellington 18 (SILKA)
Karlos Williams 16 (ASCHEBROOK)
Alfred Morris 14 (SILKA)
Joseph Randle 13 (ASCHEBROOK)
Branden Oliver 12 (TODD)
Ryan Mathews 11 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Tevin Coleman 9 (ZURAWSKI)
Rashad Jennings 7 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
David Johson 6 (SILKA)
Darren Sproles 6 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Alfred Blue 5 (ZURAWSKI)
Lance Dunbar 5 (SWANSON)
Bishop Sankey 4 (WALTERS)
Matt Jones 1 (TODD)

WR
Julio Jones 244 (TODD)
DeAndre Hopkins 231 (ZURAWSKI)
Antonio Brown 221 (SNEEN)
Odell Beckham Jr. 193 (WALTERS)
Julian Edelman 168 (SILKA)
Demaryius Thomas 165 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)
Jarvis Landry 164 (ZURAWSKI)
A.J. Green 160 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)
Keenan Allen 157 (TIFFANY)
Calvin Johnson 152 (SILKA)
Larry Fitzgerald 148 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK/WALTERS)
Randall Cobb 135 (TODD)
Emmanuel Sanders 130 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Allen Robinson 114 (MOON)
T.Y. Hilton 110 (WALTERS)
Brandon Marshall 110 (MOON)
Alshon Jeffery 97 (SWANSON)
Mike Evans 94 (MOON)
Jordan Matthews 90 (SNEEN)
Brandin Cooks 77 (TODD)
Steve Smith Sr. 77 (SNEEN)
Rishard Matthews 70 (ASCHEBROOK/TIFFANY)
Donte Moncrief 67 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Eric Decker 64 (SNEEN)
John Brown 60 (MOON)
Golden Tate 59 (ASCHEBROOK/ZURAWSKI)
Pierre Garcon 48 (ZURAWSKI)
Amari Cooper 47 (SWANSON)
Danny Amendola 42 (ASCHEBROOK SR./SILKA)
Kendall Wright 41 (TODD)
Dez Bryant 35 (ASCHEBROOK)
Jeremy Maclin 35 (ASCHEBROOK)
Vincent Jackson 34 (ASCHEBROOK)
Stevie Johnson 32 (ASCHEBROOK/ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Stefon Diggs 29 (ASCHEBROOK)
Sammy Watkins 28 (ASCHEBROOK SR./ASCHEBROOK)
Malcom Floyd 26 (WALTERS)
Rueben Randle 26 (WALTERS)
Brandon LaFell 25 (ASCHEBROOK)
Tyler Lockett 25 (SILKA)
Marvin Jones 21 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Martavis Bryant 20 (SNEEN)
Travis Benjamin 18 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)
Mike Wallace 18 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Davante Adams 17 (MOON)
Kamar Aiken 14 (ZURAWSKI)
James Jones 14 (TODD)
Andre Johnson 11 (ZURAWSKI)
Tavon Austin 10 (TIFFANY)
Torrey Smith 9 (SILKA)
Brandon Coleman 6 (ASCHEBROOK)
Marques Colston 6 (TIFFANY)
Willie Snead 5 (SWANSON)
DeSean Jackson 4 (ZURAWSKI)
Charles Johnson 4 (MOON)
Roddy White 3 (SILKA)

TE
Rob Gronkowski 179 (ZURAWSKI)
Tyler Eifert 153 (SWANSON)
Delanie Walker 130 (TODD)
Travis Kelce 124 (WALTERS)
Greg Olsen 117 (MOON)
Jimmy Graham 106 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Martellus Bennett 105 (SNEEN)
Jason Witten 104 (TIFFANY)
Gary Barnidge 75 (TIFFANY)
Antonio Gates 61 (ASCHEBROOK)
Jordan Cameron 60 (SILKA)
Zach Ertz 30 (MOON)
Charles Clay 25 (TODD/SWANSON)
Benjamin Watson 24 (ASCHEBROOK/ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Dwayne Allen 10 (ASCHEBROOK)
Jordan Reed 10 (WALTERS)
Jared Cook 9 (TODD)
Larry Donnell 8 (ZURAWSKI)
Coby Fleener 7 (SILKA)
Eric Ebron 5 (ASCHEBROOK)
Kyle Rudolph 5 (ASCHEBROOK)
Austin Seferian-Jenkins 4 (ASCHEBROOK)
Vernon Davis 3 (ASCHEBROOK)
Julius Thomas 1 (SNEEN)

K
Stephen Gostkowski 118 (ASCHEBROOK)
Steven Hauschka 95 (TIFFANY)
Justin Tucker 92 (SNEEN)
Mason Crosby 86 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Chandler Catanzaro 71 (TODD)
Matt Bryant 68 (WALTERS)
Brandon McManus 67 (SWANSON)
Blair Walsh 64 (MOON)
Robbie Gould 53 (SILKA)
Josh Brown 51 (ZURAWSKI)
Dan Bailey 37 (MOON)
Matt Prater 19 (ZURAWSKI)
Cody Parkey 16 (SILKA)
Andrew Franks 14 (TODD)
Caleb Sturgis 11 (SNEEN)
Nick Novak 10 (WALTERS)
Josh Lambo 9 (SWANSON)
Cairo Santos 9 (ZURAWSKI)
Dustin Hopkins 7 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Dan Carpenter 5 (ASCHEBROOK)
Kai Forbath 3 (TODD)
Adam Vinatieri -1 (SWANSON)

DF
Denver Broncos 130 (SILKA)
Carolina Panthers 91 (ZURAWSKI/SWANSON)
St. Louis Rams 88 (SNEEN)
Seattle Seahawks 83 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
New England Patriots 71 (TIFFANY)
New York Jets 65 (MOON/ZURAWSKI)
Philadelphia Eagles 56 (TODD/ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Buffalo Bills 47 (WALTERS/ASCHEBROOK)
Kansas City Chiefs 43 (MOON)
Houston Texans 41 (ASCHEBROOK/WALTERS)
Arizona Cardinals 39 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK)
Atlanta Falcons 22 (SWANSON/TODD)
Pittsburgh Steelers 15 (WALTERS)
Minnesota Vikings 14 (MOON)
Cincinnati Bengals 12 (WALTERS/TODD)
Miami Dolphins 7 (TODD)
Indianapolis Colts 1 (ZURAWSKI)
Green Bay Packers -1 (TIFFANY)
Cleveland Browns -3 (ZURAWSKI)
Baltimore Ravens -4 (SWANSON/ZURAWSKI/SNEEN)


Hypothetical Standings (If the 5 highest scoring teams were winners each week)
Spider 2 Y Banana 8-3
Nick's Mopey Team of Sadness 7-4
Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds 7-4
Sneen Machine 7-4
Arian Foster's Achilles Heel 7-4
Team Moon 6-5
Show Stoppers 5-6
Bilbo Unable To Braggins 3-8
Team Silka 3-8
Team Tiffany 2-9

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