Tuesday, June 9, 2015

20 Awesome Things That Have Happened Since June 10th, 1995

6-10-1995: Andy Todd is born (Hey, that's me!) at an unreasonably large 9 pounds and 3 ounces. The world was never the same.

Photo Credit: Jake "Rabid" Raflik
Nothing Was The Same.
Since June 10th of 1995, a ton of things have happened but, I narrowed this down to 20 things because I'm not yet ready to write the oral history on the Andy Todd era of America and it's the 20th anniversary of that day. I'm totally ready to talk about 20 random awesome things (in no specific order) that have happened since that date though and accompany it with photos that I just unearthed from the deepest files of something resembling a treasure chest (only with the treasure being memories, which is the corniest thing I've ever thought in my life up to this point) in my basement. As the universe celebrates a completed second decade of Todd-dom, here are a bunch of things that may or may not have happened thanks to me (just think of the butterfly effect only, the thing that could have altered everything being my death somehow resulting in us shooting laser beams out of cat's eyes by now).

Speaking of which,


I have only played laser tag once in my life and it was awesome. If the lasers had no affect on anybody whatsoever and cats were suddenly making laser sound effects, there would be a larger affinity for cat videos on the internet and cats in general than there already is. Would the cats chase their own projectile laser dots? Absolutely! What a time to be alive that would be!

Here's a photo of myself playing a game of Trouble against my (non-laser charged) cat, a bobblehead of Brett Favre and a miniature statue of a bear that plays for the St. Louis Rams because I was ten and what type of social life is a ten year old supposed to have?

2.

The above embarrassing sequence took place in 2003 and ended up costing the New Orleans Saints a playoff spot but, it was just so incredible that it has stuck in my mind as probably my favorite football sequence to ever occur. I mean any touchdown with tons of laterals and no time on the clock is already an all-timer highlight but, John Carney missed the extra point and lost the game? Hilarious. Heartbreaking. Awesome.

Another semi-relevant photo of myself with a human foot in a bar for Halloween 2012.
3. On December 11th, 2008, Google Chrome is publicly released and internet searches became faster than ever. It is now the most popular browser worldwide and has made us forget whatever Internet Explorer was. Also, how handy is that bookmarks bar? super handy.

Speaking of hands, it took two to grip this giant cookie at Miller Park. I'm pretty sure eating it was a two man job as well.
4. Sixteen years ago this week, Californication by Red Hot Chili Peppers is released. It's one of the greatest albums ever with hits like "Scar Tissue" (my favorite song of all-time), "Otherside", "Californication", "Around The World" and "Road Trippin'". The album cover is fantastic, the music is fantastic and I have yet to hear of anyone who dislikes this album.

Californication - Red Hot Chili Peppers
There appear to be three CD's laying in the chair with me. One of them is definitely Madonna's Music and the others are indistinguishable thanks to the photo-taker's over-zooming.
5. This happened...


and let's face it, he was right. Even if it wasn't "one of the best videos of all-time", it was still better than anything Taylor Swift has ever done.

I too owned a pair of sunglasses at one point.
6. Breaking Bad Seasons 1-5, Friends Seasons 2-10, Seinfeld 7-9, The Office Seasons 1-9, Friday Night Lights Seasons 1-5 and Freaks & Geeks' lone season. There has been a ton of television output since June 10th, 1995 and a lot of it has been awful but, when a show like one of these hits... it is real and it is spectacular.

Did I forget to mention how great Rugrats was? Because it was also great unlike my ugly sweater in this picture.
7. The new national anthem, "Ignition (Remix)" by R. Kelly was released.


My favorite era of music videos is the era when everybody wore sports jerseys.

Here I am prior to attending a Brett Favre monk graduation.
8. March 2nd, 2012, Project X comes out to theaters and becomes a cult-classic bro-film in the way that Animal House was for the 70's and 80's teenagers. While it will probably age poorly and there is no deeper meaning to the film than what is presented, it is a consistent adrenaline rush without any breaks in action. Critics hate it but, millennials are more likely to put this film in their DVD/Blu ray collections.

And what a great soundtrack also.
On the topic of celebrations, here I am on the fourth of July, 1997 at a merry-go-round in a place believed to be Neillsville, Wisconsin looking fresh in my backwards-facing baseball cap.
9. The Will It Blend? Blendtec Blender series hosted by Tom Dickson on Youtube.


Tom Dickson is a marketing genius for coming up with this series of videos. Random objects being blended is like explosions for people who don't like the surprise element of explosions. There have been 137 different episodes of Dickson blending things like the Apple Watch, a Justin Bieber doll, and even skis. The answer is almost always "Yes, it blends!" which is something my current blender is missing the capability to do to a pair of skis.

"Come on dad, stick the phone in the blender! I need to know if it will blend or not!"
10. Kobe Bryant scores 81 on the Toronto Raptors.


I've seen this video like thirty times and it never gets old. How did Kobe do some of the things he did on the basketball court? He's probably one of the more underrated shooters in NBA history while also being one of the more over-hyped players after his prime is now long gone. His greatness will be overshadowed by Shaq and Lebron when we revisit his career (Shaq for the first half of his career and Lebron for the second) but, he'll always have that night against the Raptors.

I could never score 81 with Kobe in a video game. Those were even better than video game numbers.
11. The Starbucks Frappucino becomes a popular drink after being invented two days before I was born. Coincidence? Yeah, probably.

Speaking of Frappucinos, there are 6 new flavors being released now in honor of the drink's 20th anniversary.

Caramel Cocoa Fluster
Cinnamon Roll
Cotton Candy
Cupcake
Lemon Bar
Red Velvet Cake
Those all sound disgusting minus the red velvet cake and to be honest with you, I'm almost sort of tired of red velvet cake and it's whole trend of popping up in desserts. I think most will stick with their current flavors over the new, flashier menu items.

Let's just assume I was hopped up on caffeine and thought putting myself in a cabinet of sorts was a funny idea for about five seconds before it became uncomfortable.
12. #15 Mercer upset #2 Duke in basketball, Appalachian State defeated Michigan in a football game and #11 George Mason made a final four (2006). Those are three of the best stories in college sports history and unless you're a Duke or a Michigan fan, you love them all.

Speaking of being upset, the teacher was very upset that day that I wouldn't take off the mascot's head. 
13. The game Cards Against Humanity was born. This is probably the best game of any type we, as a society, have created. It's Apples to Apples for horrible people and nearly every answer works for any question or fill-in-the-blank statement.

The one time I've won this game.
14. Wisconsin's own Matt Stoltz has biked halfway across the USA, with another half in the plans, as he visits every MLB stadium for a good cause. Here is the Biking For Baseball website for more information. 10 stadiums down, 20 to go.

I've only made it to two stadiums in my youth thus far, Miller Park and Target Field. This photo was taken before I got my leg stuck in the railing for a half inning. The Brewers are 3-11 lifetime in games I attend.
15. Weird Al Yankovic turned Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise" into "Amish Paradise" and reclaimed the throne for comedians in music.


Scooby-Doo pj's for life, livin' in an A-Todd paradise.
16. The Red Sox came back from 0-3 down to the Yankees in a 7-game series to win four games to three.

Ezra Shaw/Getty Images
One of the greatest, probably THE greatest series in playoff baseball history.
I too was quite the ball player in my youth.
17. The 2003 NBA Draft class featuring future hall-of-famers Lebron James, Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh and Carmelo Anthony. The NBA would not be anywhere near the same today if this draft had not happened. It's the most fascinating class since 1984.

Can you name them all?
At the draft combine, my coordination was graded as an F by all thirty teams.
18. The U.S. got Osama Bin Laden. Didn't expect something serious to come up in this post now did you? Well, it happened and it was a load off of everyone's minds.

Here's a photo of myself hiding behind a napkin at Golden Sands Speedway. Why? I don't know.
19. Sepp Blatter stepped down from FIFA. I don't have any interest in soccer but, this story was intriguing to me and now, any chance of interest is completely absent.

Here I am trying out Mead School's new (at the time) playground instead of giving any shits about soccer.
20. I created this blog, something I am actually responsible for.

And that's more glorious than this photo.
You're welcome, America.

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