Wisconsin Rapids Bro League
Bro...
To quote the eighties Rock and Roll Hall of Fame band Foreigner, "it feels like the first time, feels like the VERY first time". No, it's not the first time I've come up short in the Bro League title game. That's practically a role reserved for -insert Andy Todd team name here- every season. I'm working on writing a sequel to Groundhog Day that is just me starting the wrong player in the flex position every WRBL title game. Yes, this is the first title in a war on terror (or maybe it's of terror depending on one's rooting interest) that has only taken Brett Weinfurter three years to mold. His ascent to the throne having only taken three years is actually quite reminiscent to the path Patrick Mahomes took from backup nobody talked about to very serious playoff contender in year #2 to a title in year #3. I just hope we can all sneak in a few titles between Brett's now impending dominance and that it doesn't take a Tom Brady return to do so.
Brett's team named Caleb Williams Nail Polish was only a .500 team entering the postseason despite WRBL MVP QB Lamar Jackson being the highest scoring quarterback (with a bit of back-and-forth with Josh Allen) from week 1 onward. It's actually sort of impressive how mediocre the top-2 scoring quarterbacks' teams were this Bro League season and just how little separated the first and seventh place finishers. Once the calendar turned to late December (does a calendar turn mid-month? Sound off in the comments), Brett's squad put his team in turbo mode with his players hitting the fantasy point jackpot. 2nd Team All-Bro RB James Conner being the sturdiest of bellcow running backs this league has seen to the tune of 57.4 playoff points, 2nd Team All-Bro WR Amon-Ra St. Brown catching two touchdowns and 56.3 playoff points, Super Bowl LIX Champion kicker Jake Elliott booting through back-to-back double-digit point performances, ending up with an incredible 18 in our championship and of course Lamar was back on his Lamar shit before bowing out peacefully in the NFL playoffs (56.58 in 2 WRBL playoff rounds). Add in a career year from All-Bro 1st team TE George Kittle and Brett had himself a well-drafted core that carried him to sweet victory. If only I'd have literally ever used WR Brian Thomas Jr. any week besides the two I did (weeks 9 & 11), I would have at least had some pride in hanging onto the man that had relatively little hype before finishing as the NFL's WR4 his rookie (!) season. I'll be entertaining trade offers for BTJ once the 2025 draft is scheduled. If you can't entertain giving up an early draft pick for a second-year wideout that had a 19-237-3 line in Weeks 15 & 16 then you might be dumber than I was. What did Belichick used to say before he went to college? We're on to Cincinnati...
They may not have the key to stopping Jalen Hurts but, the Kansas City defense was key in carrying one end of Brett's balanced postseason attack by scoring 26 points in games against two of the league's weakest offensive lines (Houston and Cleveland).
Despite the heartbreaking loss in our season finale, I welcome Brett into the club of Bro League Winners. What do we as winners get for our accomplishments? I'm not sure. That would take a little more time and more wisdom, a little more grind and more vision. What's the difference between the poor and the rich man? Standing in line or having wristbands. I guess the winner's lounge is now Cole's mancave since I've seen our league trophy is just chilling down there with your name on it. I'm sure Cole will mail you a wristband for entry to the VIP mancave.
The other game of note (and I hope I'm not speaking out of pocket here about how little the third and fifth place games matter to those of us not involved in said matches) was the Sacko Bowl to determine 2024's worst Bro League team. In a season that saw him line up the most white bread options as his fantasy quarterbacks (Brock Purdy & Sam Darnold), the least pass-catch happy running backs (Josh Jacobs & Kyren Williams) and injuries to every one of his starting receivers (Puka Nacua, DK Metcalf & Tyreek Hill)... Alec Swanson could not be saved by his shrewd post-draft waiver watching (Darnold was surprisingly good, Bucky Irving was a ROTY candidate and Jaxon Smith-Njigba might just be a star now). I would congratulate Nick on avoiding last place once again if I weren't so skeptical that Alec has been running a puppet team planted by the league commissioner all along. Is that why Scott left the league? He uncovered the corruption from the top on down? I should have known something was up when he had mysteriously vanished into "Pennsylvania", a completely fake state. That jawn sounds fishy. I better stop barking up that tree, that tree will fall on me. After all, I'm only on a one hot fantasy team every ten-year average and Nick could probably drop an "Ether" style dis track on me if I'm not careful.
After all of that, here are our final All-WRBL teams for 2024...
* = rookie.
One decade into weekly posts updating our league history and one must wonder... What now? Another ordinary season like any other or am I throwing a curveball into my pitching arsenal? New ownership afoot? Well, let's start with recapping the Summer of 2025. The NFL has had a significant chunk of it's media properties purchased by ESPN including the RedZone Channel and NFL Fantasy. I have no idea what this means for my YouTube TV-based NFL Ticket package moving forward but boy it sure is great seeing everything get consolidated under the umbrella of larger entities. I've already sacrificed Thursday Night Football to larger corporate greediness, will I be losing more access to football soon or regaining what we once had as NFL Network and ESPN essentially become one? We're in the streaming wild west out here. Meanwhile, bands I enjoy listening to like King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard are departing from Spotify due to bizarre investments in A.I. defense weaponry made by the streaming giant's CEO Daniel Elk. Speaking of A.I., I just had to turn off a setting on Snapchat that started sending me generated images of myself I did not ask for. I've always been optimistic about the future but now that we're in it? I think we need some fine-tuning on what exactly we're all trying to accomplish here in a general sense. I'm pretty flexible with "improvements" being rolled out slowly but with football taking place every day of the week come Thanksgiving time and into the home stretch of our fantasy playoffs, I kind of want to see what the 2025 season looks like when I'm not trying to beat the clock before kickoff and get a weekly blog post out.
As David Berman once said, "Time is a game only children play well."
Summer 2025 has come and is almost gone and with it, "pushing 30" is now just 30, the Walters family is now +1 (a wife!), Brett carried on a tradition he did not know existed by also getting married the same year he won the fantasy championship in a league I'm in. For those unaware (which would be everybody in the Bro League reading this), Father Todd's 45 years-and-counting TD-only league has had an odd coincidence reoccur in which just about every year that a team owner got married (for the first time, no matter how hard one owner tries to recreate this superstition through three weddings) they went on to win the league either before or after that very same season. Does this mean Brett is in for a repeat? If Lamar is back, he'll sure as hell have a chance. A lot of people have been asking why I don't show up in any of the Walters' or Weinfurters' wedding photos when I thought the answer was obvious. Nobody wants the top tier baddie that is Andy Todd stealing the shine from their wedding parties when they look back on photos of their big day in the future. You cannot imagine the number of marriages I've saved simply by not posing for any wedding portraits, forcing my friends and their significant others to see my chiseled stature in a scrapbook, glance back at their partners and wonder "Did I Make the right choice?". I'm out here trying to win the first ever EGOK (which is when one acquires an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Kentucky Derby title), not cause marital strife!
The Stoltz's are expecting... meaning Gabe will be just distracted enough to sell you a Pro Bowler at half their value. I'm off Twitter which makes me one small step further out of the loop as far as Schefty Bombs and overhyped backups are concerned (we'll never forget you, James Robinson). At least I'm touching grass more often this Summer. Sparky won a literal election, our commissioner spent a mysterious amount of time absent from league discussions as Tua began ramping up his own 2028 run for congress (hopefully Nick knows to tell him when to slide) and Alec is Alec. We usually hear from him within a week of the draft and then not again for another 12 months. As long as he sets his lineup, I'm cool with that.
Yes, this offseason has seen plenty of changes and I see no reason why my weekly blog post updates should be immune to the times. My neighbor since birth has passed, a classmate I lost touch with after high school passed soon after. The latter of which was always willing to put up with me at my goofiest and most toxic going back to middle school. Considering what I found out recently that she had been through the last several years of her life, I cannot believe the patience she must have had. I spent a few days this summer running into people I haven't seen in years. I've underestimated my impact on others, even ones I deal with on a daily basis now. I've felt an air of inspiration throughout moving forward. I don't even know where to throw that energy toward. I have stupid unfinished ideas err... an unfinished project that may or may not get posted someday on this blog. At the end of every year, I've shared my Top 40 Songs of that calendar year going back to 2013 and I've made a personal countdown each year since 2007. I'd like to expand that by going back to my birth year of 1995. I have no idea why I want to do this other than it's been fun in real time and of the eleven years I'd need to go back and make up, I've already secretly completed five. It'd give a sense of completion in a way none of my Bro League teams have and 30 is the roundest number of years I'm going to get for another decade. No, I'm not quitting the league, but the 2025 season will just have to go on without the usual write-ups. Besides, I only recently have begun taking notes for this beast and I'd like a season to refresh my brain. This post in particular feels a bit all over the place and my self-editorializing could use some work. I'll keep churning out the numbers for everyone and I thank you all for your patience. 2025 will move forward as our best season yet and 2026 I might just come back to this (bet!. No, not you Emmanuel Clase) or become Frances McDormand in Nomadland. Your guess is as good as mine!
Cole wants us to draft at Buffalo Wild Wings and I support any day after the 12th besides August 30th and 31st, let's get the draft/keeper plans in motion ASAP.
Now, to feed my crippling Out Of The Park Baseball addiction.
I Can't stop rebuilding the Royals, somebody send help!
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| Peter Casey/USA TODAY Sports Hero of the Week: QB Jayden Daniels (Dad Weights and Protein Shakes) |
