WRBL Week 8, 2018 Recap

Wisconsin Rapids Bro League

Week 8
Our 4th official season of blaming Cole Walters for not being very cash money.

Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks)
Steven Nett Division

Team Easy Breesy (Ryan Dougherty) 6-2 W1
grumble grumble grumble grumble (Scott Aschebrook) 5-3 W2
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 5-3 W2
Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 3-5 L4

Shooter McGavin Division
Perfectly Balanced (Nick Zurawski) 5-3 W3
Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 5-3 L2
Crazy Todd's Driveway Band (Andy Todd) 2-6 L1
SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 1-7 L2

Week Eight Final Scores

NICK  132 DARRIN  124
COLE  158 ALEC  127
SCOTT  162 ANDY  112
RYAN  119 SNEEN  94

Heroes of the Week: RB James Conner (Cole), RB Todd Gurley (Ryan), WR Sammy Watkins (Sneen)

Getty Images
Hero of the Week: WR Sammy Watkins (SNEEN MACHINE)

Waiver Wonders: QB Derek Carr (27 points), WR Larry Fitzgerald (26), QB Andy Dalton (20)

(Nhat V. Meyer/Bay Area News Group)
Waiver Wonder: QB Derek Carr (21/28-244-3-0, 1 Rushing TD)

Zeroes of the Week: DF Miami Dolphins (Sneen), TE David Njoku (Alec)

Upcoming Week 9 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)

Alec vs. Scott
Ryan vs. Darrin
Andy vs. Cole
Nick vs. Sneen

Thursday: Oakland @ San Francisco 7:20 PM

Sunday: Chicago @ Buffalo NOON
Kansas City @ Cleveland NOON
NY Jets @ Miami NOON
Detroit @ Minnesota NOON
Atlanta @ Washington NOON
Tampa Bay @ Carolina NOON
Pittsburgh @ Baltimore NOON

Houston @ Denver 3:05 PM
LA Chargers @ Seattle 3:05 PM

LA Rams @ New Orleans 3:25 PM

Green Bay @ New England 7:20 PM

Monday: Tennessee @ Dallas 7:15 PM

Bye Weeks: Philadelphia, Indianapolis, Cincinnati, Arizona, Jacksonville, NY Giants

Bro...

The Trade Deadlines for both the NFL and WRBL have passed and in a shocking turn of events, the NFL out-traded us by a score of many to zero. What the hell, guys? I understand that Scott's team is intimidating now with my best players and his best players forming a superb team but, this was all meant to inspire more trades that built these compound teams and instead, you all chose to stand pat and let the rest of the season play out with your rosters as is. A bold strategy indeed for owners like Tyler Sneen and Darrin Aschebrook with very slight odds at the postseason. T.Y. Hilton was readily available off of Crazy Todd's Driveway Band just two years after leading the NFL in receiving yards and now that Evan Engram is heating up, anyone could have had him off my roster for a late pick or some useless (at the moment) rookie like an Anthony Miller, who nobody else would start besides crazy Bear man Alec Swanson. Oh well, the deadlines were still plenty exciting enough with Golden Tate going to Philadelphia, Demaryius Thomas to the Texans, Dante Fowler to the Rams, Ha Ha Clinton-Dix to Washington and Ty Montgomery to Baltimore. What will these deals mean for the WRBL going forward? Probably not a whole lot but Courtland Sutton is now on Scott's roster so, there's potential for another breakout star being on the league's strongest roster.

Speaking of breakout stars, 35-year old Steve Pearce had to play for every team in the American League Eastern division before he finally not only won a World Series ring but, conquered every player in the series somehow for the honors of World Series MVP after the Boston Red Sox were crowned champions of baseball world with a win over the Dodgers in 5 games. This is Boston's fourth baseball championship in 15 years and that is just too far spread apart for being able to call themselves a "dynasty". For instance, they don't have any player that has spent all fifteen seasons on their roster and the only common theme over this past decade-and-a-half for the Red Sox has been ownership. It's not like their ownership does nearly as much wheeling and dealing as the owners of teams in the Bro League or anything so, how much credit can they even really take? They're just their for the exorbitant paychecks. Congratulations on your fourth championship as Red Sox owner, John Henry! It's nice to know that a man who plays Out Of The Park Baseball can carry over his simulated successes to real-life success. There's still hope for me after all!

With baseball finished, the NBA steps into the #2 sport slot with a HOLY SHIT KLAY THOMPSON HAD 14 THREES IN UNDER THREE QUARTERS??? performance.

Unfortunately, the WRBL has turned into a five-team race with Ryan, Scott, Nick, Cole and Alec likely fighting for four playoff seats unless the ChowHounds can sprout a winning streak by planting magic beans. 24 points from RB James White (Darrin's team) still could not beat Stephen Gostkowski's 13 (for Nick) and the 19-point advantage that Perfectly Balanced already held was proven to be wide enough as the Patriots' failure to punch the ball in the end zone with their running game until it was too late to matter cost a ChowHound team that needed a victory. If Darrin would have started Marvin Jones over Demaryius Thomas, this result would have been different. Playing the "what if..." game is a tortuous practice for fantasy owners so, I try and do it for everyone when something this fortune-changing takes place. Alec didn't really stand a chance against Cole despite the Tax Paying Homeowner's 127-point affair and it's really hard to blame David Njoku for his surprise doughnut for Alec this week when the Browns ended up firing Head Coach Hue Jackson and Offensive Coordinator Todd Haley a day or two later. The good news is the dysfunction of those two "offensive minded" coaches is gone, the terrible news is now Gregg Williams (certified lunatic) gets a chance to lead an NFL team and there might be a player murdered on the field before the end of the season. Scott just picked me up and threw me in the trash where I belong despite another triple-digit showing from my team of league rejects plus Kareem Hunt. I'd focus more on that matchup but, I've blown enough "SCOTT TAKES NO PRISONERS" alarms up to this point and I've discussed the firesale of my Driveway Band enough that I think everyone's ready to move on. Lastly, Ryan's Team Easy Breesy performed as weakly as it could and that still resulted in 119 points and a 25-point win over 1-7 SNEEN MACHINE. Props to the Machine on having it's entire lineup perform unexpectedly (just 12 for Brady, 7 for JuJu, a horrible -6 for Miami's defense and 30 for typically inconsistent Sammy Watkins), a truly unique accomplishment for a team with very few to none accomplishments.

Week 9 feels like an entirely different landscape from what we saw in week 8. Not only are there a bunch of NFL players on different NFL teams but, a total of SIX(!) teams will be on their bye week this week. That'll surely affect owners with players like Andrew Luck, Odell Beckham Jr., Joe Mixon, David Johnson and Zach Ertz. Luckily, nobody should have to care about Thursday's dud of a Niners-Raiders game and the London series is over so, Noon on Sunday is probably when all lineups will officially be submitted. Personally, I am without a clue as to how my mediocre lineup will settle itself by Sunday after my millionth change of mind. This is my last Sunday off from work until 2019 so, I'm excited as can be to watch this Sunday's slate including Patriots-Packers and the Rams-Saints game sure to melt everyone's brains. In the Bro League Nick should win over Sneen but, Sneen IS still trying... allegedly and that presents some sort of challenge for Nick, even with Tyler's recent past. I face Cole and will probably pull some thuggish stunt that results in a victory. Darrin gets one last shot at not fading away so, he better not miss his chance to blow. After all, this opportunity comes once in a lifetime. Ryan better lose, himself. Mom's Spaghetti. Scott versus Alec is our Saints-Rams match as these two SHOULD make the playoffs but, there's still a chance one of them does not and as long as Nick wins, the loser of this match WILL be out of the postseason if everything else goes according to past results. Amari Cooper could end up swinging this one way or another in his Cowboy debut and as a Tax Paying Homeowner, he should start over Taylor Gabriel because WHAT IF HE GOES OFF? At this rate, we'll likely play the "What if?" game next week too. 

After a disappointing start in Oakland, the 24-year old Cooper looks to redeem his career in Dallas after being dealt for a first-round draft pick.

Scoring Leaders

QB

Patrick Mahomes 211 (Andy/Scott)

Matt Ryan 164 (Alec)

Drew Brees 144 (Ryan)

Cam Newton 135 (Nick)

Tom Brady 143 (Sneen)

Aaron Rodgers 143 (Darrin)

DeShaun Watson 68 (Cole)

Russell Wilson 61 (Scott/Andy)

Carson Wentz 35 (Scott/Ryan)

Andrew Luck 56 (Cole)

Jared Goff 54 (Andy)

Ryan Fitzpatrick 24 (Cole)
Philip Rivers 22 (Nick)
Mitchell Trubisky 21 (Alec)
Kirk Cousins 20 (Nick)
Andy Dalton 7 (Darrin)

RB

Todd Gurley 233 (Ryan)

Saquon Barkley 197 (Alec)

Melvin Gordon 157 (Alec)

Alvin Kamara 179 (Darrin)

Kareem Hunt 159 (Andy)

James White 161 (Darrin)

James Conner 172 (Cole)

Ezekiel Elliott 119 (Nick)

Christian McCaffrey 127 (Scott)

David Johnson 110 (Scott/Andy)

Tevin Coleman 63 (Cole)

Isaiah Crowell 57 (Sneen)

Joe Mixon 80 (Andy/Scott)

T.J. Yeldon 51 (Nick)

Jordan Howard 60 (Ryan)

Giovani Bernard 43 (Nick)

LeSean McCoy 42 (Darrin)

Sony Michel 41 (Sneen)

Matt Breida 35 (Andy)
Marlon Mack 28 (Cole)

Mark Ingram 27 (Scott)

Kenyan Drake 26 (Nick)

Dalvin Cook 24 (Andy)

Phillip Lindsay 22 (Ryan)
Chris Carson 19 (Nick)
Latavius Murray 19 (Darrin)
Tarik Cohen 18 (Alec)

Adrian Peterson 18 (Ryan)
Carlos Hyde 17 (Scott)

Chris Thompson 17 (Scott)

Javorius Allen 16 (Darrin)

Jamaal Williams 16 (Sneen)
Kerryon Johnson 14 (Nick)
Marshawn Lynch 14 (Cole)

Devonta Freeman 12 (Sneen)
Austin Ekeler 11 (Andy)
Leonard Fournette 8 (Cole)

Alex Collins 18 (Sneen)

Dion Lewis 5 (Nick)

Peyton Barber 3 (Cole)

WR

Adam Thielen 199 (Cole)

Tyreek Hill 162 (Alec)

Davante Adams 155 (Scott)

DeAndre Hopkins 163 (Nick)

Julio Jones 130 (Ryan)

Michael Thomas 141 (Ryan)

A.J. Green 143 (Cole)

Antonio Brown 147 (Darrin)

Stefon Diggs 141 (Alec)

Mike Evans 140 (Scott)

Odell Beckham Jr. 126 (Andy/Scott)

Keenan Allen 97 (Nick)

JuJu Smith-Schuster 101 (Sneen)

Demaryius Thomas 91 (Darrin)

Jarvis Landry 80 (Scott)

T.Y. Hilton 83 (Andy)

Brandin Cooks 64 (Nick)

Robert Woods 61 (Sneen)

Emmanuel Sanders 52 (Cole)

Golden Tate 51 (Ryan)

Cooper Kupp 34 (Alec)

Chris Hogan 27 (Sneen)

Alshon Jeffery 34 (Ryan)
Sterling Shepard 28 (Andy)

Larry Fitzgerald 19 (Cole)

Allen Robinson 19 (Alec)

Will Fuller 17 (Sneen)
Julian Edelman 15 (Nick)

Nelson Agholor 13 (Ryan)

Keelan Cole 12 (Andy)
Sammy Watkins 41 (Sneen)
Chris Godwin 10 (Darrin)
Jamison Crowder 9 (Andy)
Taylor Gabriel 9 (Alec)
Josh Gordon 9 (Andy)
Randall Cobb 8 (Nick)
Tyler Boyd 5 (Cole)
John Brown 5 (Andy)
Kenny Golladay 5 (Scott)
Amari Cooper 1 (Alec)

TE

Zach Ertz 140 (Sneen)

Travis Kelce 128 (Nick)

George Kittle 92 (Cole)

Jimmy Graham 68 (Darrin)

Rob Gronkowski 55 (Sneen)

Eric Ebron 66 (Ryan)

David Njoku 45 (Alec)

Jared Cook 40 (Scott)
Trey Burton 39 (Alec)

Jordan Reed 49 (Scott)

Kyle Rudolph 39 (Ryan)

Evan Engram 28 (Andy)

Austin Hooper 22 (Andy)
O.J. Howard 16 (Andy)

Benjamin Watson 10 (Andy)
C.J. Uzomah 9 (Darrin)
Delanie Walker 9 (Cole)

Greg Olsen 5 (Ryan)

K

Harrison Butker 77 (Andy)

Stephen Gostkowski 81 (Nick)

Justin Tucker 67 (Scott)

Mason Crosby 74 (Sneen)

Wil Lutz 74 (Alec)

Matt Bryant 52 (Cole)

Robbie Gould 44 (Darrin)

Matt Prater 44 (Ryan/Cole)

Greg Zuerlein 37 (Ryan)
Dan Bailey 15 (Darrin)
Cairo Santos 10 (Ryan)
Adam Vinatieri 5 (Nick)
Graham Gano 3 (Alec)

Chris Boswell 2 (Darrin)

DF

Los Angeles Rams 74 (Scott)

Baltimore Ravens 52 (Darrin/Andy)

Houston Texans 52 (Sneen/Nick)

Jacksonville Jaguars 47 (Alec)

Philadelphia Eagles 33 (Ryan)

Green Bay Packers 29 (Sneen)

Chicago Bears 27 (Andy)
Cleveland Browns 19 (Nick/Darrin)

Los Angeles Chargers 18 (Nick)

Indianapolis Colts 16 (Andy)

Minnesota Vikings 20 (Cole/Darrin)

Carolina Panthers 14 (Cole)

New England Patriots 24 (Nick/Andy)
Washington 14 (Ryan)
Arizona Cardinals 12 (Cole)

New York Jets 1 (Darrin)
Denver Broncos -2 (Nick)

New Orleans Saints -4 (Andy)
Miami Dolphins -6 (Sneen)

Hypothetical Standings

Tax Paying Homeowner 6-2

Perfectly Balanced 5-3

Colieveland 96ers 5-3

Grumble Grumble Grumble Grumble 5-3

Team Easy Breesy 4-4

Team ChowHounds 4-4

Crazy Todd's Driveway Band 2-6

SNEEN MACHINE 1-7