WRBL Week 10, 2018 Recap

Wisconsin Rapids Bro League

Week 10
Our 4th official season of blaming Cole Walters for not everyone using their turn signals.

Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks)
Steven Nett Division

Team Easy Breesy (Ryan Dougherty) 7-3 W1
Walt Diggity Micro Dongers (Scott Aschebrook) 7-3 W4
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 5-5 L2
Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 5-5 W2

Shooter McGavin Division
Perfectly Balanced (Nick Zurawski) 6-4 L1
Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 6-4 W1
Cole Likes Dragons (Andy Todd) 3-7 L1
SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 1-9 L4

Week Ten Final Scores

DARRIN  115 SNEEN  112
RYAN  150 NICK  147
SCOTT  134 COLE  104
ALEC  137 ANDY  102

Heroes of the Week: TE Zach Ertz (Sneen), RB Christian McCaffrey (Scott), RB David Johnson (Andy)

USA TODAY Sports
Hero of the Week: TE Zach Ertz (SNEEN MACHINE)

Waiver Wonders: WR Corey Davis (25 points), WR Zay Jones (23), WR Anthony Miller (23)

Zeroes of the Week: DF New York Jets (Andy), DF New England Patriots (Darrin)

Bill Kostroun/Assoociated Press
Zero of the Week: DF New York Jets (Cole Likes Dragons)

 Upcoming Week 11 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)

Ryan vs. Alec
Darrin vs. Scott
Nick vs. Andy
Sneen vs. Cole

Thursday: Green Bay @ Seattle 7:20 PM

Sunday: Dallas @ Atlanta NOON
Carolina @ Detroit NOON
Tennessee @ Indianapolis NOON
Tampa Bay @ NY Giants NOON
Houston @ Washington NOON
Pittsburgh @ Jacksonville NOON
Cincinnati @ Baltimore NOON
Oakland @ Arizona 3:05 PM
Denver @ LA Chargers 3:05 PM
Philadelphia @ New Orleans 3:25 PM
Minnesota @ Chicago 7:20 PM

Monday: Kansas City @ LA Rams 7:15 PM

Bye Weeks: New England, Cleveland, Miami, San Francisco, NY Jets, Buffalo

Bro...

We are somehow already one week away from Thanksgiving and the other holiday advertisements are flooding our newsfeeds and commercial breaks so, the fantasy playoffs are just around the corner. With four regular season weeks remaining, Tyler Sneen has already been eliminated and Andy Todd is next in line. If a rematch of the 2015 WRBL Finals does indeed occur during the playoffs, I'd like to propose right now that we each draft nine kickers and let them battle it out to decide who wins/loses the MoonBak this year. Why? To keep things interesting and balanced after the devastation that a slow start that I didn't have the determination to fix and the #1 overall pick holding out the entire season had on our teams. Is this idea a rip-off of last season's Nick versus Scott kicker vs. kicker match where each team owner only used one kicker to decide who finished in third place? Yes but, I want us to each field entire lineups of kickers. Again, why? Because the fluky nature of fantasy football is what makes this so fun and I need to have something invested in Daniel Carlson doinking an extra point to feed my gambling addiction. Come to think of it, shouldn't hitting the goalpost with a kick be worth points instead of a negative? I mean... think of the chaos that would ensue if a kicker gave his team two points for hitting a goal post, one for going between the two posts and zero for straight up missing? Now, that's some revolutionary, stay-tuned-for-every-extra-point, half-baked, futuristic football!!!

While we're at it, lets replace the goalposts with some friggin' laser beams!

Week 10 has come and gone and it's hard to say whether the WRBL is better off than it was a week ago. On one hand, both divisions have a tie at the top with the season-long point totals favoring Ryan Dougherty and Nick Zurawski. On the other hand, Cole Walters currently sits outside the playoff bracket and it would take a miracle for my newly rebranded Cole Likes Dragons squad to avoid elimination very soon. The only people that find joy in the Nick versus Scott rivalry are Nick and Scott, the Celtics and Lakers of our league (even though neither has won The Shelby yet, making this metaphor, along with my season, a complete failure). If those two face in the postseason, I might use that weekend to catch up on Better Call Saul instead of putting any energy or thought into the WRBL (again, much like my team this year). Remember when running backs used to just run and catching passes was a bonus? (LeGarrette Blount remembers) Remember when scoring 100 points was considered a solid week in this league? (Evan Moon does NOT remember) Yeah, I scored 102 points and all I won was the title of lowest scorer for the week. Finally, David Johnson outscored Patrick Mahomes and it meant absolutely nothing because Matt Breida's 28 was on my bench and I got fucked by Matt Barkley for -7 points out of the Jets defense (RIP Nathan Peterman, you beautiful angel). 

My low effort levels have now reached into WRBL Reviews. Hold onto your seatbelts!

Alec may have won the 137-102 battle but, the war between he and Nick has only just begun with Nick holding the upper hand after WR Cooper Kupp tore his ACL. Nick also holds the upper hand in the SHOOTER MCGAVIN DIVISION (saying it louder for the people in the back) this week after scoring a massive 147 points, only to lose to supreme trickster Ryan Dougherty, who as we all know, planted an extra clump of grass in Philadelphia to trip up Ezekiel Elliott right before halftime on Sunday night. If it weren't for Elliott's exhaustion and lack of balance after hurdling Eagle defenders, Nick would have gotten at least 6 more points and the win. In another dramatically close finish, SNEEN MACHINE somehow made things interesting against Darrin Aschebrook, despite a 43-point deficit headed into Sunday night. Zach Ertz (probably) set a record for points from a tight end with 40 huge ones in a loss to Dallas that saw him grab garbage reception after garbage reception. At the end of the week, the ChowHounds are still the superior team whenever LeSean McCoy decides to show up and this week both he and Aaron Rodgers discount double-checked Sneen into the past, where all of his 2018 fantasy relevancy resides. Lastly, Scott rode Christian McCaffrey's 36 points for a 30-point victory over an unusually timid Colieveland 96er lineup that saw a minor injury interrupt James Conner's otherwise fruitful Thursday and nobody score 20+ outside of (Not DeShaun "Nipplegate" Watson but,) Andrew Luck.

Week 11 will feature Scott's newly named Walt Diggity Micro Dongers take on his dad (which sounds wildly inappropriate without proper context) in what is a must-win for the ChowHounds now that the postseason is a possibility for him again. I'm sure Tyler Sneen's players just spent ten weeks showing solidarity with Le'Veon Bell by resting and now that Bell is definitely done for the year, the SNEEN MACHINE is pissed and likely to take it out on the Walt diggity dog Cold Waters himself as he struggles to hold his place in the race. Meanwhile, Nick should probably defeat me since I don't count anymore according to Nick during his stellar performance on Cole's podcast/vlog/disaster show thing. Of course, my roster does have some surprisingly convenient matchups this week so, I'm certainly still giving it my all despite all the self-deprecation and lack of talent. The Seahawk-Packer game should be a big one, as will the Monday nighter (now in LA!) between the 9-1 Rams and the 9-1 Chiefs and both have serious implications on the result of 7-3 Team Easy Breesy versus 6-4 Tax Paying Homeowner Alec Swanson. Todd Gurley versus Tyreek Hill is the matchup to watch on Monday night, as they alone could decide who leads each of the two WRBL divisions. May the injury reports stay empty and the points keep flowing at the record pace that they are!

AP
Alec's WR Tyreek Hill is the third Chief to eclipse the 200-point mark this season.

Scoring Leaders

QB

Patrick Mahomes 256 (Andy/Scott)

Drew Brees 202 (Ryan)

Matt Ryan 184 (Alec)

Aaron Rodgers 178 (Darrin)

Tom Brady 169 (Sneen)

Cam Newton 169 (Nick)

Jared Goff 102 (Andy)

DeShaun Watson 87 (Cole)

Andrew Luck 77 (Cole)

Russell Wilson 61 (Scott/Andy)

Carson Wentz 35 (Scott/Ryan)

Mitchell Trubisky 28 (Alec)
Ryan Fitzpatrick 24 (Cole)
Philip Rivers 22 (Nick)
Kirk Cousins 20 (Nick)
Andy Dalton 7 (Darrin)

RB

Todd Gurley 277 (Ryan)

Alvin Kamara 237 (Darrin)

James Conner 213 (Cole)

Saquon Barkley 210 (Alec)

Melvin Gordon 203 (Alec)

Kareem Hunt 203 (Andy)

James White 197 (Darrin)

Christian McCaffrey 194 (Scott)

Ezekiel Elliott 170 (Nick)

David Johnson 146 (Scott/Andy)

Tevin Coleman 102 (Cole)

Joe Mixon 90 (Andy/Scott)

Isaiah Crowell 73 (Sneen)

LeSean McCoy 66 (Darrin)

Jordan Howard 64 (Ryan)

T.J. Yeldon 51 (Nick)

Sony Michel 44 (Sneen)

Giovani Bernard 43 (Nick)

Matt Breida 40 (Andy)

Kenyan Drake 37 (Nick)

Marlon Mack 34 (Cole)

Phillip Lindsay 32 (Ryan)
Aaron Jones 31 (Nick)

Alex Collins 28 (Sneen)

Mark Ingram 27 (Scott)

Dalvin Cook 24 (Andy)

Adrian Peterson 23 (Ryan)

Chris Carson 19 (Nick)

Tarik Cohen 19 (Alec)

Latavius Murray 19 (Darrin)
Carlos Hyde 17 (Scott)

Chris Thompson 17 (Scott)

Javorius Allen 16 (Darrin)

Jamaal Williams 16 (Sneen)
Nick Chubb 15 (Scott)
Duke Johnson Jr. 14 (Andy)
Kerryon Johnson 14 (Nick)
Marshawn Lynch 14 (Cole)

Devonta Freeman 12 (Sneen)
Austin Ekeler 11 (Andy)
Leonard Fournette 8 (Cole)

Dion Lewis 5 (Nick)

Peyton Barber 3 (Cole)

WR

Adam Thielen 211 (Cole)

Michael Thomas 207 (Ryan)

Tyreek Hill 205 (Alec)

Davante Adams 192 (Scott)

DeAndre Hopkins 189 (Nick)

Antonio Brown 183 (Darrin)

Julio Jones 178 (Ryan)

Mike Evans 150 (Scott)

Odell Beckham Jr. 149 (Andy/Scott)

A.J. Green 143 (Cole)

Stefon Diggs 141 (Alec)

Keenan Allen 134 (Nick)

JuJu Smith-Schuster 134 (Sneen)

T.Y. Hilton 93 (Andy)

Jarvis Landry 91 (Scott)

Demaryius Thomas 91 (Darrin)

Brandin Cooks 87 (Nick)

Robert Woods 86 (Sneen)

Emmanuel Sanders 62 (Cole)

Cooper Kupp 61 (Alec)

Golden Tate 54 (Ryan)

Sammy Watkins 52 (Sneen)

Julian Edelman 34 (Nick)

Alshon Jeffery 34 (Ryan)

Josh Gordon 33 (Andy)

Larry Fitzgerald 30 (Cole)

Sterling Shepard 28 (Andy)

Chris Hogan 27 (Sneen)

Marvin Jones 20 (Darrin)

Allen Robinson 19 (Alec)

Will Fuller 17 (Sneen)

Tyler Boyd 14 (Cole)

Devin Funchess 14 (Andy)

Nelson Agholor 13 (Ryan)

Keelan Cole 12 (Andy)

D.J. Moore 11 (Alec)

Chris Godwin 10 (Darrin)

John Brown 9 (Andy)

Jamison Crowder 9 (Andy)

Taylor Gabriel 9 (Alec)
Doug Baldwin 8 (Sneen)

Randall Cobb 8 (Nick)

Kenny Golladay 5 (Scott)

Amari Cooper 1 (Alec)

DeVante Parker 1 (Cole)

TE

Zach Ertz 180 (Sneen)

Travis Kelce 166 (Nick)

George Kittle 129 (Cole)

Eric Ebron 93 (Ryan)

Jimmy Graham 85 (Darrin)

Jordan Reed 65 (Scott)

David Njoku 56 (Alec)

Rob Gronkowski 55 (Sneen)

Kyle Rudolph 43 (Ryan)

Jared Cook 40 (Scott)
Trey Burton 39 (Alec)

O.J. Howard 39 (Andy)

Evan Engram 28 (Andy)

Austin Hooper 22 (Andy)
Benjamin Watson 10 (Andy)

C.J. Uzomah 9 (Darrin)
Delanie Walker 9 (Cole)

Greg Olsen 5 (Ryan)

K

Wil Lutz 102 (Alec)

Harrison Butker 94 (Andy)

Stephen Gostkowski 93 (Nick)

Mason Crosby 86 (Sneen)

Justin Tucker 77 (Scott)

Matt Prater 59 (Ryan/Cole)

Greg Zuerlein 59 (Ryan)

Matt Bryant 52 (Cole)

Robbie Gould 44 (Darrin)

Dan Bailey 21 (Darrin)
Jake Elliott 10 (Darrin)

Cairo Santos 10 (Ryan)
Jason Myers 6 (Scott)
Adam Vinatieri 5 (Nick)
Graham Gano 3 (Alec)

Chris Boswell 2 (Darrin)

DF

Los Angeles Rams 70 (Scott)

Houston Texans 57 (Sneen/Nick)

Chicago Bears 56 (Andy)
Baltimore Ravens 52 (Darrin/Andy)

Jacksonville Jaguars 47 (Alec)

Minnesota Vikings 43 (Cole/Darrin)

Philadelphia Eagles 34 (Ryan)

Green Bay Packers 29 (Sneen)

Los Angeles Chargers 28 (Nick)

New England Patriots 24 (Nick/Andy)

Carolina Panthers 20 (Cole)

Cleveland Browns 19 (Nick/Darrin)

Miami Dolphins 18 (Sneen)

Indianapolis Colts 17 (Andy/Sneen)

Kansas City Chiefs 17 (Alec)

Washington 14 (Ryan)

Buffalo Bills 13 (Cole)

Arizona Cardinals 12 (Cole)
Dallas Cowboys 7 (Cole)
Denver Broncos -2 (Nick)

New Orleans Saints -4 (Andy)
New York Jets -6 (Darrin/Andy)

Hypothetical Standings

Perfectly Balanced 7-3

Tax Paying Homeowner 7-3

Team Easy Breesy 6-4

Walt Diggity Micro Dongers 6-4

Colieveland 96ers 5-5

Team ChowHounds 5-5

Cole Likes Dragons 3-7

SNEEN MACHINE 1-9