WRBL Week 11, 2018 Recap

Wisconsin Rapids Bro League

Week 11
Our 4th official season of blaming Cole Walters for millenials ruining the Bro League.

Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks)
Steven Nett Division

Walt Diggity Micro Dongers (Scott Aschebrook) 8-3 W5
Team Easy Breesy (Ryan Dougherty) 7-4 L1
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 5-6 L3
Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 5-6 L1

Shooter McGavin Division
Perfectly Balanced (Nick Zurawski) 7-4 W1
Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 7-4 W2
Cole Likes Dragons (Andy Todd) 3-8 L2
SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 2-9 W1

Week Eleven Final Scores

NICK  165 ANDY  145
ALEC  171 RYAN  120
SNEEN  101 COLE  92
SCOTT  121 DARRIN  96

Heroes of the Week: WR Tyreek Hill (Alec), WR T.Y. Hilton (Andy), RB Saquon Barkley (Alec)

USA TODAY Sports
Hero of the Week: RB Saquon Barkley (Tax Paying Homeowner)

Waiver Wonders: WR Tre'Quan Smith (31 points), WR Chris Conley (26), WR Josh Reynolds (20)

Derick E. Hingle/USA TODAY Sports
Waiver Wonder: WR Tre'Quan Smith (10 catches, 151 yards, 1 TD)

Zeroes of the Week: Owner Scott Aschebrook, TE Eric Ebron (Ryan), WR Demaryius Thomas (Darrin)

Upcoming Week 12 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)

Cole vs. Darrin
Scott vs. Nick
Alec vs. Sneen
Andy vs. Ryan

Thursday (Thanksgiving): Chicago @ Detroit 11:30 AM
Washington @ Dallas 3:30 PM
Atlanta @ New Orleans 7:20 PM

Sunday: Jacksonville @ Buffalo NOON
Cleveland @ Cincinnati NOON
New England @ NY Jets NOON
NY Giants @ Philadelphia NOON
San Francisco @ Tampa Bay NOON
Seattle @ Carolina NOON
Oakland @ Baltimore NOON
Arizona @ LA Chargers 3:05 PM
Pittsburgh @ Denver 3:25 PM
Miami @ Indianapolis 3:25 PM
Green Bay @ Minnesota 7:20 PM

Monday: Tennessee @ Houston 7:15 PM

Bye Weeks: LA Rams & Kansas City

Bro...

Two teams are eliminated from playoff contention with three regular season weekends left to play out. Ideally, we'd love to see all eight teams in the hunt going into week 12 at the very least. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your personal biases), this season has seen such surprisingly consistent performances from superstars both past (Drew Brees, Todd Gurley, Antonio Brown) and present (Patrick Mahomes, Saquon Barkley, James Conner) that there has been no leeway for a team with inconsistent former all-stars (Tom Brady, David Johnson, Jimmy Graham) to fight back from their low positioning in the standings. Tyler Sneen was already ousted not long ago and this week, Andy Todd's Cole Likes Dragons fell out of contention for good despite putting up one of my better fights all season (145 points was enough for a win in the hypothetical standings, which look closer to the actual standings than they ever previously have). Dealing Mahomes, Joe Mixon, Odell Beckham Jr. and to a much lesser cost, Dalvin Cook may have cost me a game or two but, with the inconsistencies of my defenses and at tight end, there likely was no recovering from my 1-3 origin. The Sneen Machine may not have gotten any draft picks or shown any interest in improving his roster lately but, at least I'm still going to be snatching players from the waiver wire like a good loser. Let the MoonBak Bowl trash talk begin now! (The 9 kicker duel proposal is still on the table). 

Week 11 was a lot like every other week leading up to this point. Not only did this week confirm that the Chiefs and Rams are fucking amazing but, the Saints are too and Philly is not going to repeat as champs as they continue to struggle at third place in the NFC East. The Falcons aren't going anywhere with their current defense and the Cowboys need Ezekiel Elliott to stay upright if they have any chance at the postseason, as was proven by the narrow 22-19 Dallas victory. The Amari Cooper & Eli Apple trades look awesome right now and if Demaryius Thomas is simply a decoy to free up the Texans' other receivers than that trade might fly under-the-radar as a sneaky nice pickup. Unfortunately for Washington, the NFC East has been opened wide and we'll never know if Alex Smith could have made a comeback on Houston (It certainly didn't look possible) as the 34-year old former #1 overall pick broke his leg and will miss the rest of the season. In the WRBL, Nick's 165 buried my team for good and props to him on realizing that the Cam Newton-Norv Turner connection would result in Newton's best fantasy season since he was an NFL MVP. In a hilarious turn of events, Cole Walters unsuccessfully reverse-jinxed himself into a 92-101 loss to 2-9 SNEEN MACHINE. Props to the 96ers on finding a way to lose to a quarterback that was benched for Jameis Winston mid-game on Sunday. Tax Paying Homeowner Alec Swanson would have been perfectly okay with a 128-120 victory over Ryan's slumping Team Easy Breesy but then Tyreek Hill happened. 43 points later and not only does Hill lead the WRBL in scoring at wide receiver but, he helped Alec win 171-120. 

WEEKLY NEW RULE PROPOSAL: Leaving a slot in your lineup empty results in a loss of 15 points per empty position, unless that position is a kicker or a defense (the two positions most likely to end in negative point totals).

Scott willfully benched Patrick Mahomes and the Rams defense (who combined for 51 points) after his 25-point win over father Aschebrook was clinched. In case of future season-long point totals deciding tiebreakers, Scott may have cost himself and he has also made it tougher for each of those two to lock down spots on the end-of-year All-Bro teams but really, none of that matters when you've built the megasquad he currently controls. It will always baffle me why nobody else made bigger offers at the deadline for any players off of Sneen's or my teams. 

The return of Doug Baldwin and his 18 points gave Sneen his first maybe-semi-legitimate victory of 2018.

TURKEY! FAMILY! BLACK FRIDAY! There's plenty to get excited about this four-day weekend (for most) but personally, I'm still liking the football. With the Rams and Chiefs now on a well-deserved bye week, it's not even the NFL that has piqued my interest. The most underrated day on the sports calendar is the Black Friday college football slate as the best games of the weekend are seemingly stacked on this date instead of the more common Saturday slate. This Friday sees the Texas Longhorns play a resilient Kansas football team (not often those words have been uttered) at 11 AM, followed by the rivalry between undefeated UCF and South Florida at 3:15 PM and it all ends with four ranked teams playing their rivals. #6 Oklahoma and their Heisman candidate QB Kyler Murray takes on #13 West Virginia and future NFL QB Will Grier basically at the same time as #8 Washington State and their Heisman candidate QB Gardner Minshew take on #16 Washington. The six NFC teams playing Thursday make for some fun football but, don't sleep on the last regular season weekend of college football. 

James Snook - USA TODAY Sports
Nobody is sleeping on WSU QB Gardner Minshew's mustache.

In the third-to-last week of WRBL action, it is entirely possible that all playoff teams will be decided after this week with wins by any of the three teams sitting at 7-4 and losses by both Cole and Darrin so that means that the loser of the Cole-Darrin match is likely to be eliminated this weekend barring an onslaught of upsets. Meanwhile, Nick takes his last shot at the #1 seed as the league's likeliest hope to interrupt Scott's five-game winning streak. This should prove even more difficult after Kerryon Johnson's injury will cost Nick a player on Thanksgiving. Sneen actually has a chance of winning back-to-back games with Mitchell Trubisky doubtful for Thanksgiving and Alec's lineup as well after his surprising fantasy emergence up to this point. Lastly, I'm throwing Lamar Jackson into my lineup against the vulnerable-yet-still-quality Team Easy Breesy. Jackson should at least provide entertainment during (THE ELITE) Jared Goff's bye week. Here's to a plentiful feast of points!

Scoring Leaders

QB

Patrick Mahomes 256 (Andy/Scott)

Drew Brees 232 (Ryan)

Aaron Rodgers 199 (Darrin)

Matt Ryan 197 (Alec)

Cam Newton 193 (Nick)

Tom Brady 169 (Sneen)

Jared Goff 136 (Andy)

DeShaun Watson 95 (Cole)

Andrew Luck 77 (Cole)

Russell Wilson 61 (Scott/Andy)

Carson Wentz 35 (Scott/Ryan)

Ryan Fitzpatrick 31 (Cole/Sneen)
Mitchell Trubisky 28 (Alec)
Philip Rivers 22 (Nick)
Kirk Cousins 20 (Nick)
Andy Dalton 7 (Darrin)

RB

Todd Gurley 288 (Ryan)

Alvin Kamara 254 (Darrin)

Saquon Barkley 245 (Alec)

James Conner 223 (Cole)

Melvin Gordon 223 (Alec)

Kareem Hunt 223 (Andy)

Christian McCaffrey 210 (Scott)

Ezekiel Elliott 202 (Nick)

James White 197 (Darrin)

David Johnson 161 (Scott/Andy)

Tevin Coleman 112 (Cole)

Joe Mixon 103 (Andy/Scott)

Isaiah Crowell 73 (Sneen)

LeSean McCoy 66 (Darrin)

Jordan Howard 64 (Ryan)

T.J. Yeldon 51 (Nick)

Sony Michel 44 (Sneen)

Giovani Bernard 43 (Nick)

Matt Breida 40 (Andy)

Kenyan Drake 37 (Nick)

Alex Collins 35 (Sneen)

Marlon Mack 34 (Cole)

Phillip Lindsay 32 (Ryan)
Kerryon Johnson 31 (Nick)
Aaron Jones 31 (Nick)

Leonard Fournette 29 (Cole)

Mark Ingram 27 (Scott)

Dalvin Cook 24 (Andy)

Tarik Cohen 24 (Alec)

Adrian Peterson 23 (Ryan)

Chris Carson 19 (Nick)

Latavius Murray 19 (Darrin)

Carlos Hyde 17 (Scott)

Chris Thompson 17 (Scott)

Javorius Allen 16 (Darrin)

Jamaal Williams 16 (Sneen)
Nick Chubb 15 (Scott)
Duke Johnson Jr. 14 (Andy)
Marshawn Lynch 14 (Cole)
Lamar Miller 13 (Darrin)

Devonta Freeman 12 (Sneen)
Jalen Richard 12 (Sneen)
Austin Ekeler 11 (Andy)
Dion Lewis 8 (Nick/Ryan)

Peyton Barber 3 (Cole)

WR

Tyreek Hill 248 (Alec)

Adam Thielen 226 (Cole)

Michael Thomas 226 (Ryan)

Davante Adams 218 (Scott)

Antonio Brown 205 (Darrin)

DeAndre Hopkins 203 (Nick)

Julio Jones 201 (Ryan)

Mike Evans 180 (Scott)

Stefon Diggs 172 (Alec)

Odell Beckham Jr. 167 (Andy/Scott)

Keenan Allen 157 (Nick)

JuJu Smith-Schuster 152 (Sneen)

A.J. Green 143 (Cole)

T.Y. Hilton 129 (Andy)

Brandin Cooks 105 (Nick)

Robert Woods 103 (Sneen)

Jarvis Landry 91 (Scott)

Demaryius Thomas 91 (Darrin)

Emmanuel Sanders 71 (Cole)

Cooper Kupp 61 (Alec)

Golden Tate 54 (Ryan)

Sammy Watkins 52 (Sneen)

Julian Edelman 34 (Nick)

Alshon Jeffery 34 (Ryan)

Josh Gordon 33 (Andy)

Sterling Shepard 32 (Andy)

Larry Fitzgerald 30 (Cole)

Chris Hogan 27 (Sneen)

Doug Baldwin 26 (Sneen)

Marvin Jones 20 (Darrin)

Allen Robinson 19 (Alec)

Chris Godwin 18 (Darrin)

Will Fuller 17 (Sneen)

Tyler Boyd 14 (Cole)

Devin Funchess 14 (Andy)

Nelson Agholor 13 (Ryan)

John Brown 12 (Andy)

Keelan Cole 12 (Andy)

D.J. Moore 11 (Alec)

Jamison Crowder 9 (Andy)

Taylor Gabriel 9 (Alec)
Randall Cobb 8 (Nick)

Corey Davis 5 (Ryan)

Kenny Golladay 5 (Scott)

Amari Cooper 1 (Alec)

DeVante Parker 1 (Cole)

TE

Travis Kelce 194 (Nick)

Zach Ertz 183 (Sneen)

George Kittle 129 (Cole)

Eric Ebron 93 (Ryan)

Jimmy Graham 87 (Darrin)

Jordan Reed 65 (Scott)

David Njoku 56 (Alec)

Rob Gronkowski 55 (Sneen)

Kyle Rudolph 43 (Ryan)

Trey Burton 40 (Alec)

Jared Cook 40 (Scott)
O.J. Howard 39 (Andy)

Evan Engram 36 (Andy)

Austin Hooper 28 (Andy/Scott)
Greg Olsen 13 (Ryan/Cole)
Benjamin Watson 10 (Andy)

C.J. Uzomah 9 (Darrin)
Delanie Walker 9 (Cole)

K

Wil Lutz 114 (Alec)

Harrison Butker 103 (Andy)

Stephen Gostkowski 93 (Nick)

Mason Crosby 91 (Sneen)

Justin Tucker 89 (Scott)

Greg Zuerlein 71 (Ryan)

Matt Prater 67 (Ryan/Cole)

Matt Bryant 52 (Cole)

Robbie Gould 44 (Darrin)

Dan Bailey 27 (Darrin)
Jake Elliott 10 (Darrin)

Cairo Santos 10 (Ryan)
Jason Myers 6 (Scott)
Ryan Succop 5 (Nick)
Adam Vinatieri 5 (Nick)
Graham Gano 3 (Alec)

Chris Boswell 2 (Darrin)

DF

Houston Texans 74 (Sneen/Nick/Ryan)

Chicago Bears 72 (Andy)
Los Angeles Rams 70 (Scott)

Baltimore Ravens 52 (Darrin/Andy)

Minnesota Vikings 50 (Cole/Darrin)

Jacksonville Jaguars 47 (Alec)

Philadelphia Eagles 34 (Ryan)

Indianapolis Colts 31 (Andy/Sneen)

Green Bay Packers 29 (Sneen)

Los Angeles Chargers 28 (Nick)

New England Patriots 24 (Nick/Andy)

Carolina Panthers 21 (Cole)

Cleveland Browns 19 (Nick/Darrin)

Miami Dolphins 18 (Sneen)

Kansas City Chiefs 17 (Alec)

Arizona Cardinals 16 (Cole/Nick)
Washington 14 (Ryan)

Buffalo Bills 13 (Cole)

Pittsburgh Steelers 11 (Alec)
Dallas Cowboys 7 (Cole)
Denver Broncos -2 (Nick)

New Orleans Saints -4 (Andy)
New York Jets -6 (Darrin/Andy)

Hypothetical Standings

Perfectly Balanced 8-3

Tax Paying Homeowner 8-3

Walt Diggity Micro Dongers 7-4

Team Easy Breesy 6-5

Colieveland 96ers 5-6

Team ChowHounds 5-6

Cole Likes Dragons 4-7

SNEEN MACHINE 1-10