Wisconsin Rapids Bro League
Week Twelve
Our Sixth Official Season of blaming Cole Walters for Tuesday NFL games.
Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks & [Seasonal Point Totals])
Steven Nett Division
Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 8-4 L1 [1,663.82]
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 5-7 L5 [1,507.70]
Mr. Intens3brook (Scott Aschebrook) 4-7-1 L1 [1.413.52]
Shooter McGavin Division
Christy Fichtner All-Stars (Andy Todd) 8-4 W2 [1,559.16]
The Golladay Inn (Ryan Dougherty) 7-5 W2 [1,506.56]
Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 5-7 L3 [1,427.14]
Tanner Glaza Division
Team Hoefs (Nathaniel Hoefs) 6-6 W2 [1,593.62]
SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 6-6 W1 [1,461.52]
Free Chiquita (Nick Zurawski) 5-7 L2 [1,456.62]
Week Twelve Final Scores
HOEFS defeats NICK 182.72-168.28
ANDY defeats COLE 161.48-152.38
SNEEN defeats SCOTT 128.0-121.04
RYAN defeats ALEC 94.2-87.6
BYE defeats DARRIN 0-111.9
Heroes of the Week: WR Tyreek Hill (57.9), RB Derrick Henry (38.5), RB Antonio Gibson (36.6)
Kim Klement - USA TODAY Sports
Hero of the Week: WR Tyreek Hill (Team Hoefs)
Waiver Wonders: DF Atlanta Falcons (27), WR Collin Johnson (19.6), QB Ryan Tannehill (19.14)
Las Vegas Review-Journal
Waiver Wonder: DF Atlanta Falcons (1 pick-six, 5 sacks, 4 fumble recoveries, 6 points allowed)
What-if of the Week: If Scott would have started WR JuJu Smith-Schuster (17.7) over Antonio Brown (3.1), Mr. Intens3brook would have passed Cole Walters in the Steven Nett Division.
Upcoming Week 13 Match-ups
NOTE: NFL Schedule subject to change due to ongoing COVID-19 cases rising and possible postponements. Look it up on your own time.
Cole v. Scott
Darrin v. Nick
Sneen v. Alec
Ryan v. Andy
Hoefs v. BYE
Bro...
What an intense week with fluctuating deficits both lost and overcome! Where to even begin? No time for dilly dallying! What even is dilly dallying? Is it related to dill pickles? Ok, but then where does dallying come from?.... Oh right, Tyreek Hill just had the greatest week of scoring in WRBL history for any one single player! His 57.9-point showing versus the Buccaneers otherwise tough defense. I suppose the Chiefs are just matchup-proof fantasy players at this point. It was a performance that will go down in WRBL history not just for this man's one individual achievement but because of the comeback it helped push forward like an 18-wheeler versus one of those tiny bug cars. Nick Zurawski played the role of small, barely mobile object with an impressive 137 points prior to the three o'clock games (Nice production with a dozen NFL teams yet to play) while Team Hoefs pushed forward as the unstoppable force with a solid 93 points only being enough to bring the WRBL rookie within 44 points. Nick had two players remaining (Robert Woods and Rob Gronkowski) that combined for a respectably solid 32.4 points. Hoefs' two Chiefs (Hill & Travis Kelce) then combined for 74.1, which is fucking crazy. Thankfully, the NFL was able to force-feed us to another helping of mid-week football, this time on Wednesday! This was crucial to our most lopsided match of week 12 as Hoefs needed all of two points in order to complete the league's most impressive non-Cole Walters comeback and along with a pick-six, completed the process behind a 16-point Steelers' defensive showing. Nick is now in deep waters without a paddle as he faces the potential of a last-place sandwich featuring some unknown ingredients that don't belong anywhere near human stomachs at the same time. This is quite unfamiliar territory for our perennial third-place finisher.
Speaking of comeback king Cole Walters, his playoff/sandwich odds also swayed in favor of the latter option with a closely-fought 9.1-point loss to my Christy Fichtner All-Stars. Incredibly, two of the top-four scoring teams this week (Nick #2 & Cole #4) ended up losing based on our scheduled matches this week. Oh well, at least they can still avoid eating hypothetical sandwiches of terror in the alternate dimension that actually follows our hypothetical standings. Cole and I's matchup was like watching a tennis match between Federer and Nadal. Cole got two surprise touchdowns from my own personal Judas Adrian Peterson during the early Thanksgiving performance? That's cool, have a heavy helping of three Antonio Gibson touchdowns to go along with that second plate of stuffing during the late Thanksgiving game. Kyle Rudolph grabbing his most receptions in a game all season while Jonnu Smith plays the role of blocking tight end all game long? Sweet, just gave Patrick Mahomes (31.28) more motivation to exceed doubling up Josh Allen's (15.48) point total. Saints defense getting a cushy matchup versus WR-turned-QB Kendall Hinton and the no-show Broncos? Allow me to introduce you to onside kick return specialist A.J. Brown with his 2-touchdown, 25.8-point showing. Andy Todd has clinched a playoff spot and Cole versus Scott is the matchup of the week as the loser will absolutely leave town and be caught in a fight to avoid the sandwich of doom.
Imagine how good A.J. Brown would be if he ever got double-digit targets.
Scott Aschebrook is only in the matchup of the week due to his own heart-wrenching loss, being the sixth-highest scoring team facing the fifth-highest scoring team. SNEEN MACHINE continues to creep his way into postseason form with a 6.96-point win over Mr. Intens3brook as a result of Antonio Brown becoming a poor man's Scotty Miller and David Montgomery putting forth his career-best fantasy performance to this point. I guess the desperation Montgomery trade worked out for Tyler after all. This week, Sneen still needs a victory (Hoefs & Nick each hold a tiebreaker over him) in order to control his own fate and pave his own path to the playoffs. He will play against Alec Swanson, the Tax Paying Homeowner, a man that has sadly seen his postseason odds erased with this week's truly gross 87.6-94.2 loss to division rivals The Golladay Inn. With Joe Burrow on IR, Alec naturally turned to his fantasy backup Derek Carr, who proceeded to have the worst showing for any starting QB in the WRBL this 2020 season. Somehow the inconsistent Falcons defense that looked godawful under Dan Quinn has mostly shown up under interim head coach Raheem Morris and even with their strides as a unit, none of us saw them holding Derek Carr to 0.6 points or the Nathan Peterman cameo coming on Sunday. Scoring the 8th-highest point total of the week was enough to earn Ryan a win and a postseason birth but, the respect his team gained was minimal (even though nobody saw Indy's defense losing 5 points for Ryan either). Also, Darrin was on bye. He lost, thus keeping the fight for the one-seed a thing as well.
Raiders.com
One interesting wrinkle in this week's drama is the Raiders' RB situation. Josh Jacobs (Scott) is OUT while Devontae Booker (claimed by Cole off waivers) is expected to start.
2020 WRBL Scoring Leaders
QB
Patrick Mahomes 291.38 (Andy)
Russell Wilson 272.54 (Ryan)
DeShaun Watson 225.98 (Hoefs)
Kyler Murray 207.94 (Cole)
Lamar Jackson 197.42 (Nick)
Tom Brady 187.20 (Darrin)
Matt Ryan 186.54 (Sneen)
Aaron Rodgers 174.54 (Scott)
Joe Burrow 106.52 (Alec)
Josh Allen 97.86 (Cole)
Dak Prescott 95.84 (Scott)
Ben Roethlisberger 44.96 (Alec)
Derek Carr 34.30 (Hoefs/Alec)
Matthew Stafford 30.72 (Darrin)
Carson Wentz 27.76 (Nick)
Justin Herbert 27.74 (Hoefs)
Ryan Fitzpatrick 19.28 (Nick)
Cam Newton 19.2 (Sneen)
Gardner Minshew 18.12 (Ryan)
Jared Goff 10.48 (Andy)
Baker Mayfield 5.38 (Sneen)
RB
Alvin Kamara 263.1 (Darrin)
Dalvin Cook 251.5 (Sneen)
Derrick Henry 221.0 (Cole)
Josh Jacobs 172.7 (Scott)
James Robinson 170.0 (Andy)
Aaron Jones 169.5 (Ryan)
Ezekiel Elliott 160.4 (Alec)
Todd Gurley 139.2 (Darrin)
James Conner 134.0 (Hoefs)
Clyde Edwards-Helaire 119.5 (Scott)
Chris Carson 118.9 (Ryan)
Ronald Jones 117.9 (Hoefs/Ryan)
Nick Chubb 116.8 (Sneen)
Mike Davis 116.0 (Andy)
Antonio Gibson 104.9 (Andy)
Kareem Hunt 98.4 (Nick)
Christian McCaffrey 90.3 (Scott)
Miles Sanders 89.2 (Alec)
David Montgomery 87.5 (Sneen)
Melvin Gordon 85.3 (Darrin)
David Johnson 81.0 (Nick)
Jonathan Taylor 76.2 (Alec)
Austin Ekeler 64.2 (Andy)
Kenyan Drake 62.7 (Nick)
Giovani Bernard 61.6 (Ryan/Cole)
Myles Gaskin 60.4 (Cole)
Jerick McKinnon 57.6 (Hoefs/Scott/Cole)
Joe Mixon 57.5 (Andy/Ryan)
J.D. McKissic 41.5 (Scott/Ryan/Hoefs)
Darrell Henderson 32.9 (Darrin)
D'Andre Swift 31.2 (Nick)
Chase Edmonds 30.8 (Scott/Hoefs)
Adrian Peterson 30.3 (Darrin/Cole)
Duke Johnson 28.9 (Hoefs)
Justin Jackson 27.7 (Nick)
Nyheim Hines 25.8 (Ryan)
Raheem Mostert 24.5 (Nick)
Jamaal Williams 21.4 (Cole)
Wayne Gallman 18.1 (Scott)
Boston Scott 17.3 (Cole)
Saquon Barkley 15.4 (Nick)
Le'Veon Bell 15.4 (Andy)
Kalen Ballage 14.1 (Scott)
Salvon Ahmed 12.4 (Nick)
DeeJay Dallas 11.9 (Alec)
Malcolm Brown 10.6 (Cole)
Joshua Kelley 10.3 (Sneen)
James White 8.2 (Hoefs)
Jordan Howard 7.9 (Nick)
J.K. Dobbins 7.1 (Cole)
Leonard Fournette 5.0 (Sneen)
Alexander Mattison 4.0 (Sneen)
Jeff Wilson Jr. 2.9 (Scott)
Tevin Coleman 2.0 (Ryan)
Phillip Lindsay 0.2 (Cole)
WR
Tyreek Hill 260.1 (Hoefs)
Davante Adams 228.8 (Darrin)
Keenan Allen 212.5 (Andy)
DeAndre Hopkins 196.4 (Cole)
Tyler Lockett 195.1 (Alec)
Adam Thielen 183.1 (Darrin)
Calvin Ridley 179.1 (Nick)
DK Metcalf 175.2 (Darrin)
Stefon Diggs 169.2 (Sneen)
Mike Evans 168.1 (Ryan)
Allen Robinson 156.4 (Alec)
Will Fuller 154.3 (Nick)
Amari Cooper 146.3 (Scott)
Robby Anderson 142.6 (Cole/Sneen)
D.J. Moore 136.6 (Hoefs)
Julio Jones 130.7 (Sneen)
Robert Woods 127.1 (Nick)
Cooper Kupp 126.0 (Andy)
A.J. Brown 111.3 (Andy)
Terry McLaurin 110.0 (Alec)
Chris Godwin 106.1 (Cole)
Justin Jefferson 83.2 (Alec)
JuJu Smith-Schuster 72.6 (Sneen/Scott)
DeVante Parker 72.3 (Cole)
Tyler Boyd 71.8 (Scott)
Jamison Crowder 64.5 (Ryan)
Brandin Cooks 57.7 (Hoefs)
Marvin Jones 54.2 (Hoefs/Nick)
Diontae Johnson 48.7 (Ryan/Andy)
Kenny Golladay 48.1 (Ryan)
Michael Thomas 48.0 (Ryan)
Jerry Jeudy 46.8 (Ryan/Cole)
Odell Beckham Jr. 45.42 (Scott)
Chase Claypool 37.4 (Scott)
Darius Slayton 35.0 (Ryan)
Cole Beasley 34.8 (Cole)
Travis Fulgham 33.9 (Hoefs)
Tee Higgins 33.2 (Cole)
Corey Davis 26.8 (Ryan)
Marquise Brown 25.8 (Alec)
Allen Lazard 25.7 (Cole)
CeeDee Lamb 25.0 (Scott)
Sterling Shepard 22.4 (Nick)
Brandon Aiyuk 19.7 (Scott)
Curtis Samuel 12.7 (Hoefs)
Tre'Quan Smith 9.4 (Ryan)
T.Y. Hilton 9.3 (Scott)
Antonio Brown 9.2 (Scott)
Jarvis Landry 9.2 (Cole)
Christian Kirk 9.0 (Cole)
Josh Reynolds 6.2 (Sneen)
A.J. Green 5.9 (Andy)
Julian Edelman 4.2 (Sneen)
Emmanuel Sanders 2.8 (Sneen)
TE
Travis Kelce 211.96 (Hoefs)
Darren Waller 146.2 (Ryan)
Mark Andrews 119.4 (Darrin)
Jonnu Smith 98.3 (Andy)
George Kittle 98.1 (Nick)
Hayden Hurst 96.1 (Alec)
Hunter Henry 89.6 (Sneen)
Noah Fant 68.0 (Cole)
Robert Tonyan 42.8 (Scott)
Zach Ertz 42.5 (Scott)
Tyler Higbee 36.4 (Nick)
Eric Ebron 32.3 (Ryan/Nick/Alec)
Evan Engram 29.9 (Sneen)
Rob Gronkowski 29.7 (Hoefs/Nick)
T.J. Hockenson 27.1 (Cole/Darrin)
Taysom Hill 24.42 (Scott)
Kyle Rudolph 13.8 (Cole)
Austin Hooper 8.4 (Nick)
Jimmy Graham 6.2 (Darrin)
Ross Dwelley 3.2 (Scott)
Greg Olsen 3.0 (Cole)
Logan Thomas 2.8 (Cole)
Blake Jarwin 2.2 (Andy)
Chris Herndon 2.1 (Andy)
K
Wil Lutz 104 (Hoefs)
Rodrigo Blankenship 101 (Andy)
Chris Boswell 93 (Nick/Alec)
Harrison Butker 91 (Sneen)
Justin Tucker 79 (Scott)
Mason Crosby 75 (Cole)
Greg Zuerlein 74 (Darrin)
Daniel Carlson 47 (Nick)
Matt Prater 46 (Alec/Sneen)
Jason Sanders 41 (Nick/Darrin)
Joey Slye 35 (Ryan)
Jake Elliott 32 (Ryan)
Younghoe Koo 23 (Andy/Nick)
Randy Bullock 20 (Cole/Scott)
Ryan Succop 12 (Scott)
Graham Gano 11 (Ryan)
Robbie Gould 7 (Nick)
Stephen Gostkowski 2 (Hoefs)
Ka'imi Fairbairn 1 (Cole)
DF
Pittsburgh Steelers 88 (Hoefs)
Baltimore Ravens 85 (Alec/Andy)
Los Angeles Rams 82 (Hoefs/Nick/Darrin)
Indianapolis Colts 74 (Andy/Ryan)
Chicago Bears 57 (Scott)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 55 (Andy/Ryan/Cole)
San Francisco 49ers 39 (Sneen)
Philadelphia Eagles 37 (Nick/Cole/Nick)
Buffalo Bills 34 (Darrin/Hoefs)
New Orleans Saints 34 (Ryan/Darrin/Alec/Cole)
Cleveland Browns 32 (Nick/Sneen)
Arizona Cardinals 31 (Nick/Cole)
Los Angeles Chargers 29 (Cole/Scott/Andy/Alec)
Kansas City Chiefs 28 (Cole/Alec)
Washington Football Team 27 (Hoefs/Nick/Scott)
Miami Dolphins 24 (Nick)
New England Patriots 22 (Ryan/Andy/Darrin)
New York Giants 12 (Andy)
Seattle Seahawks 11 (Alec)
New York Jets 8 (Nick)
Green Bay Packers 7 (Cole)
Denver Broncos 6 (Cole)
Minnesota Vikings 3 (Scott)
Atlanta Falcons 2 (Cole)
Dallas Cowboys 1 (Nick)
Houston Texans 1 (Cole)
Detroit Lions -1 (Sneen)
Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose, 5th = BYE)
Team ChowHounds 8-4
Team Hoefs 7-4
The Golladay Inn 5-4
Christy Fichtner All-Stars 6-5
Colieveland 96ers 6-5
Free Chiquita 6-5
Mr. Intens3brook 4-6
Tax Paying Homeowner 3-7
SNEEN MACHINE 3-8
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