WRBL Week 14, 2020

  Wisconsin Rapids Bro League

Week Fourteen

Our Sixth Official Season of blaming Cole Walters for zero Grammy nominations for The Weeknd in 2020.

Week Fourteen Final Scores

#3 SNEEN defeats #5 COLE 168.64-97.82

#4 RYAN defeats #6 HOEFS 112.34-107.16

SANDWICH UPDATE: #8 Scott 114.5, #7 Nick 149.32, #6 Alec 162.18

#1 Darrin gets 144.94 on BYE

#2 Andy gets 110.22 on BYE

Heroes of the Week: RB Derrick Henry (36.2), QB Lamar Jackson (34.92), QB Aaron Rodgers (30.9)

Stephen B. Morton/AP

Hero of the Week: RB Derrick Henry (Colieveland 96ers)

Waiver Wonders: QB Baker Mayfield (30.02), WR T.Y. Hilton (25.6), QB Drew Lock (25.6)

What-if of the Week: If Hoefs would have started either WR Cole Beasley (9.1) or WR Curtis Samuel (16.0) over WR D.J. Chark (3.6) in his FLEX spot, he could have won by either 0.32 (Beasley) or 7.22 (Samuel) over Ryan.

Reinhold Matay - USA TODAY Sports

Jacksonville's continuing Quarterback carousel again hindered the value of talented wideout D.J. Chark (do do dadoo doodoo not start him).

Upcoming Week 15 Match-ups

NOTE: NFL Schedule subject to change due to ongoing COVID-19 cases rising and possible postponements. Look it up on your own time.

Winners' Bracket

#1 Team ChowHounds v. #4 The Golladay Inn

#2 Christy Fichtner All-Stars v. #3 SNEEN MACHINE

Official Two-week 5th Place Bowl Sponsored by Kwik Trip*

#5 Colieveland 96ers v. #6 Team Hoefs

Official Three-week Sandwich-a-thon

Scott v. Nick v. Alec

* - Not actually sponsored but still, stop by your local Kwik Trip, they're nice people.

Bro...

Somewhere out there, somebody is arguing that teams with losing records don't deserve a playoff spot under any circumstances in any leagues. Today, that person's argument is WINNING. Now, the WRBL playoffs can really begin as the top four seeds remain following the first round eliminations of both 6-7 owners Cole Walters and Nathaniel Hoefs. Cole's season was defined by roster uncertainty on a week-to-week basis outside of RB Derrick Henry (the NFL's leading rusher, who faces the three weakest run defenses in the NFL as he chases the Titans' second-ever 2,000 yard rushing season) and WR DeAndre Hopkins (who should probably have more than 5 touchdowns right now as one of the NFL's elite receivers). His hypothetical record currently sits at .500 and it can't really be argued that his team's season seems to be ending at the appropriate time (unlike my hypothetical 6-7 squad or Sneen Machine's hypothetical 5-8! team). Hoefs will not be pulling a Team Easy Breesy (remember when Ryan still owned Drew Brees?) and running the table during his first year in the Bro League thanks to Ryan himself and giving D.J. Chark his first starting nod of the season, lining the Jags receiver up with J.D. McKissic and Duke Johnson in a roster that earned their sub-.500 showing. It does seem strange to see Patrick Mahomes and Harrison Butker as the two remaining Chiefs in the postseason but unlike in his match against Nick in week 13, Tyreek Hill and Travis Kelce weren't enough to save Hoefs from himself. Oh well, we live and we learn in this league.

Week 14 will go down as one of the least memorable playoff weeks in WRBL history as only four teams actually played playoff matchups and the Steeler defense's inability to completely shut down the Bills' offense was the only primetime drama as their 5 points weren't enough for Hoefs to upset Ryan. In our other match, Cole felt good vibrations from the 200-yard game and heroic performance by Derrick Henry but that was it. SNEEN MACHINE was on full blast with seven of his nine players scoring 17 or more points, including former Colieveland 96er Robby Anderson. REMINDER: Cole acquired all 0.2 points from lowest-scoring WRBL RB Phillip Lindsay in exchange for 160.3 (total between both teams) WR Robby Anderson. The Oof meter is in the red on this trade, boys. It certainly did not help Cole's cause this week when Noah Fant fell ill immediately after kickoff and DeVante Parker injured his hamstring after two incomplete targets. Getting two donuts might be a fulfilling breakfast but, Cole needed more nutrition than that to even out the diet that seemed to only supply him with the runs (gross) this week. Nate and Colethaniel will now enter a dramatic, two-week, steel-cage tussle for fifth place. Who was the most mediocre owner this season? Haters or Waffles? Hoes or Waters? Hoefs or Walters? 

Jasen Vinlove - USA TODAY Sports

Personal throwback draft darling of mine RB DeAndre Washington (7.2 points) proved to Cole that you can't just start -insert Dolphins RB here- every week despite their chaotic backfield and expect a win.

The Sandwich Bowl is only a small blip on the radar after one week but, Scott has some pretty gnarly ground to makeup as the actual worst team at 4-8-1 also has to rally from 34+ points behind Nick to prevent himself from facing his first ever league punishment. Everybody knows Alec has already avoided the label of "loser" since the minute he decided to ride Ryan Tannehill (THE GOAT) for a postseason push. Nick, on the other hand, just saw Lamar Jackson put on his best fantasy showing of the season in a Monday Night thriller and Scorigami of 47-42 in a Ravens win over the Browns. It's a real shame our league didn't have more players involved in that game but for the majority of us, it was nice to watch a game with nothing riding on it. On bye this week, Darrin dropped a winnable statline of 144.94 with Alvin Kamara as the first running back to pass the 300-point threshold for the season (remember when Christian McCaffrey scored over 400 points in a season? Scott does.). Meanwhile, #2 Andy Todd continues to sneakily sneak his sneakers with snickers into the semifinal as 110.22 (typically a solid to good score) was a hypothetical loss in a week with zero consequences (although Keenan Allen might be hurt now and I jinxed Cody Parkey by adding him). Now, the stakes return and both Darrin and I actually should focus this week because lord knows I was onto other topics this Sunday as a therapeutic breather of sorts before chaos and drama reign supreme.

WRBL POSTSEASON PICKS UPDATE

Cole 0-2 (Alec for Sandwich)

Andy 2-0 (Alec for Sandwich)

Continuing the fun little side-bet for bragging rights caused by Cole's "Andy is not good at predicting things" accusation, I have decided to pick RYAN for the major upset over father Darrin and as for the other match? 

The Sneen versus Andy rivalry goes all the way back to our first official championship when our tennis match ended with Todd Gurley carrying a touchdown late in a game versus Seattle, giving me the W in our first season with The Shelby trophy. Everybody else seemed bored because we were too cordial and non-confrontational but, Sneen was bitter enough after that day that he decided to try and get revenge on me the next year in the MoonBak/Sacko Bowl. Again, he came up short. Two years later, 2018 saw us facing in the MoonBack/Sacko again, with my team defeating Sneen by 3 measly points (we are continuously evenly matched despite these all ending in my favor). Last season, I crushed the Machine 135-76 in the battle for third that nobody ever cares about and now, Sneen is just reeling from these losses so hard that he's willing to try anything. I mean... he's starting Taysom Hill, a former NFL linebacker and one-time Tight End at Quarterback! against the Chiefs!!! It's fantasy football, anything is possible and I respect the boldness. Speaking of the New Orleans Saints, they play a very key role in the Darrin-Ryan matchup as well as Ryan also needs Taysom Hill to at least throw respectable slants to all-pro wideout Michael Thomas while Darrin is hoping for a more run-heavy approach by Sean Payton and Alvin Kamara against a mediocre run defense in Kansas City. There aren't any other real oddities in either lineup but, T.J. Hockenson over Mark Andrews is a very real upset based on Andrews' reliable history these past two seasons versus Hockenson's sudden emergence thanks to injuries to the Lions' receivers. The Championship Preview is next week already! and Cole says I'm going to make it over Sneen so it was fun while it lasted you guys but either my playoff run or Cole's 0-for-whatever picks streak is ending and personally, I'm complacent with this result.

2020 WRBL Scoring Leaders

NOTE: All scoring for the two teams on BYE for the first round of the playoffs are accounted for despite no impact on the league results.

QB

Patrick Mahomes 328.32 (Andy)

Russell Wilson 309.70 (Ryan)

Lamar Jackson 258.02 (Nick)

DeShaun Watson 242.54 (Hoefs)

Aaron Rodgers 228.94 (Scott)

Kyler Murray 207.94 (Cole)

Tom Brady 202.84 (Darrin)

Matt Ryan 186.54 (Sneen)

Josh Allen 146.28 (Cole)

Joe Burrow 106.52 (Alec)

Dak Prescott 95.84 (Scott)

Matthew Stafford 56.80 (Darrin)

Ben Roethlisberger 44.96 (Alec)

Taysom Hill 42.52/66.94 (Sneen)

Derek Carr 34.30 (Hoefs/Alec)

Justin Herbert 32.10 (Hoefs)

Carson Wentz 27.76 (Nick)

Ryan Fitzpatrick 19.28 (Nick)

Cam Newton 19.2 (Sneen)

Gardner Minshew 18.12 (Ryan)

Ryan Tannehill 16.48 (Alec)

Mitchell Trubisky 13.28 (Alec)

Jared Goff 10.48 (Andy)

Baker Mayfield 5.38 (Sneen)

RB

Alvin Kamara 303.2 (Darrin)

Dalvin Cook 294.4 (Sneen)

Derrick Henry 263.1 (Cole)

James Robinson 205.1 (Andy)

Aaron Jones 202.8 (Ryan)

Josh Jacobs 183.1 (Scott)

Ezekiel Elliott 160.4 (Alec)

Nick Chubb 158.7 (Sneen)

Chris Carson 157.7 (Ryan)

Todd Gurley 139.2 (Darrin)

David Montgomery 139.1 (Sneen)

James Conner 134.0 (Hoefs)

Jonathan Taylor 129.2 (Alec)

Miles Sanders 121.9 (Alec)

Clyde Edwards-Helaire 119.5 (Scott)

Ronald Jones 117.9 (Hoefs/Ryan)

Mike Davis 116.0 (Andy)

Melvin Gordon 112.6 (Darrin)

Antonio Gibson 104.9 (Andy)

Austin Ekeler 98.6 (Andy)

Kareem Hunt 98.4 (Nick)

Kenyan Drake 92.5 (Nick)

David Johnson 91.4 (Nick)

Christian McCaffrey 90.3 (Scott)

Myles Gaskin 74.5 (Cole)

Giovani Bernard 64.9 (Ryan/Cole/Scott)

Jerick McKinnon 57.6 (Hoefs/Scott/Cole)

Joe Mixon 57.5 (Andy/Ryan)

J.D. McKissic 52.1 (Scott/Ryan/Hoefs)

Darrell Henderson 48.3 (Darrin)

D'Andre Swift 46.2 (Nick)

Wayne Gallman 41.9 (Scott)

Nyheim Hines 38.0 (Ryan)

Duke Johnson 36.8 (Hoefs)

Chase Edmonds 30.8 (Scott/Hoefs)

Adrian Peterson 30.3 (Darrin/Cole)

Raheem Mostert 29.8 (Nick)

Justin Jackson 27.7 (Nick)

Jamaal Williams 21.4 (Cole)

Boston Scott 17.3 (Cole)

Saquon Barkley 15.4 (Nick)

Le'Veon Bell 15.4 (Andy)

Kalen Ballage 14.1 (Scott)

Salvon Ahmed 12.4 (Nick)

DeeJay Dallas 11.9 (Alec)

James White 11.3 (Hoefs)

Malcolm Brown 10.6 (Cole)

Damien Harris 10.5 (Hoefs)

Joshua Kelley 10.3 (Sneen)

Jordan Howard 7.9 (Nick)

DeAndre Washington 7.2 (Cole)

J.K. Dobbins 7.1 (Cole)

Devontae Booker 6.1 (Cole)

Leonard Fournette 5.0 (Sneen)

Alexander Mattison 4.0 (Sneen)

Jeff Wilson Jr. 2.9 (Scott)

Tevin Coleman 2.0 (Ryan)

Phillip Lindsay 0.2 (Cole)

WR

Tyreek Hill 301.0 (Hoefs)

Davante Adams 287.4 (Darrin)

Keenan Allen 242.5 (Andy)

DeAndre Hopkins 238.2 (Cole)

Calvin Ridley 221.3 (Nick)

Stefon Diggs 217.5 (Sneen)

DK Metcalf 206.3 (Darrin)

Allen Robinson 197.2 (Alec)

Tyler Lockett 195.1 (Alec)

Adam Thielen 190.0 (Darrin)

Amari Cooper 177.7 (Scott)

Mike Evans 176.7 (Ryan)

Robby Anderson 160.3 (Cole/Sneen)

Will Fuller 154.3 (Nick)

Robert Woods 153.7 (Nick)

A.J. Brown 146.2 (Andy)

Julio Jones 146.1 (Sneen)

Cooper Kupp 141.3 (Andy)

D.J. Moore 136.6 (Hoefs)

Justin Jefferson 120.4 (Alec)

Terry McLaurin 117.8 (Alec)

Chris Godwin 110.6 (Cole)

Michael Thomas 83.9 (Ryan)

JuJu Smith-Schuster 82.4 (Sneen/Scott)

DeVante Parker 79.8 (Cole)

Tyler Boyd 71.8 (Scott)

Brandin Cooks 69.2 (Hoefs)

Jamison Crowder 64.5 (Ryan)

Marvin Jones 63.0 (Hoefs/Nick/Hoefs)

Diontae Johnson 56.7 (Ryan/Andy)

Kenny Golladay 48.1 (Ryan)

Jerry Jeudy 46.8 (Ryan/Cole)

Odell Beckham Jr. 45.42 (Scott)

Chase Claypool 43.2 (Scott)

Brandon Aiyuk 41.6 (Scott)

Darius Slayton 35.0 (Ryan)

Cole Beasley 34.8 (Cole)

Travis Fulgham 33.9 (Hoefs)

Tee Higgins 33.2 (Cole)

Corey Davis 31.2 (Ryan)

Jarvis Landry 29.64 (Cole/Ryan)

Sterling Shepard 27.6 (Nick/Hoefs)

Marquise Brown 25.8 (Alec)

Allen Lazard 25.7 (Cole)

CeeDee Lamb 25.0 (Scott)

Curtis Samuel 12.7 (Hoefs)

Keke Coutee 9.4 (Nick)

Tre'Quan Smith 9.4 (Ryan)

T.Y. Hilton 9.3 (Scott)

Antonio Brown 9.2 (Scott)

Christian Kirk 9.0 (Cole)

Josh Reynolds 6.2 (Sneen)

A.J. Green 5.9 (Andy)

Julian Edelman 4.2 (Sneen)

D.J. Chark 3.6 (Hoefs)

Emmanuel Sanders 2.8 (Sneen)

TE

Travis Kelce 267.16 (Hoefs)

Darren Waller 205.7 (Ryan)

Mark Andrews 119.4 (Darrin)

Jonnu Smith 102.6 (Andy)

Hunter Henry 101.2 (Sneen)

George Kittle 98.1 (Nick)

Hayden Hurst 96.1 (Alec)

Noah Fant 77.7 (Cole)

Robert Tonyan 71.3 (Scott)

T.J. Hockenson 58.8 (Cole/Darrin)

Eric Ebron 53.1 (Ryan/Nick/Alec)

Zach Ertz 47.6 (Scott/Andy)

Mike Gesicki 47.3 (Nick)

Tyler Higbee 36.4 (Nick)

Evan Engram 29.9 (Sneen)

Rob Gronkowski 29.7 (Hoefs/Nick)

Taysom Hill 24.42/66.94 (Scott)

Kyle Rudolph 13.8 (Cole)

Austin Hooper 8.4 (Nick)

Jimmy Graham 6.2 (Darrin)

Ross Dwelley 3.2 (Scott)

Greg Olsen 3.0 (Cole)

Logan Thomas 2.8 (Cole)

Blake Jarwin 2.2 (Andy)

Chris Herndon 2.1 (Andy)

K

Rodrigo Blankenship 122 (Andy/Alec)

Harrison Butker 116 (Sneen)

Wil Lutz 107 (Hoefs)

Justin Tucker 97 (Scott)

Chris Boswell 93 (Nick/Alec)

Mason Crosby 75 (Cole)

Greg Zuerlein 74 (Darrin)

Jason Sanders 64 (Nick/Darrin)

Daniel Carlson 56 (Nick/Ryan)

Matt Prater 46 (Alec/Sneen)

Younghoe Koo 41 (Andy/Nick)

Joey Slye 35 (Ryan)

Jake Elliott 32 (Ryan)

Randy Bullock 20 (Cole/Scott)

Tyler Bass 18 (Cole)

Ryan Succop 12 (Scott)

Graham Gano 11 (Ryan)

Robbie Gould 7 (Nick)

Jason Myers 4 (Ryan)

Cody Parkey 3 (Andy)

Stephen Gostkowski 2 (Hoefs)

Ka'imi Fairbairn 1 (Cole)

Michael Badgley -2 (Alec)

DF

Los Angeles Rams 115 (Hoefs/Nick/Darrin)

Pittsburgh Steelers 96 (Hoefs)

Indianapolis Colts 93 (Andy/Ryan)

Baltimore Ravens 84 (Alec/Andy)

Chicago Bears 57 (Scott)

Tampa Bay Buccaneers 55 (Andy/Ryan/Cole)

Washington Football Team 50 (Hoefs/Nick/Scott/Alec)

San Francisco 49ers 49 (Sneen/Nick)

Miami Dolphins 40 (Nick)

New Orleans Saints 39 (Ryan/Darrin/Alec/Cole/Scott)

Philadelphia Eagles 37 (Nick/Cole/Nick)

Buffalo Bills 34 (Darrin/Hoefs)

Cleveland Browns 32 (Nick/Sneen)

Arizona Cardinals 31 (Nick/Cole)

Los Angeles Chargers 29 (Cole/Scott/Andy/Alec)

Kansas City Chiefs 28 (Cole/Alec)

New England Patriots 22 (Ryan/Andy/Darrin)

Seattle Seahawks 22 (Alec)

Green Bay Packers 19 (Cole)

Dallas Cowboys 18 (Nick/Sneen)

Minnesota Vikings 14 (Scott/Alec)

New York Giants 12 (Andy)

New York Jets 8 (Nick)

Denver Broncos 6 (Cole)

Atlanta Falcons 2 (Cole)

Carolina Panthers 1 (Cole)

Houston Texans 1 (Cole)

Detroit Lions -1 (Sneen)

Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose, 5th = BYE)

Team ChowHounds 10-4

Free Chiquita 8-5

The Golladay Inn 6-5

Team Hoefs 7-6

Colieveland 96ers 6-6

Christy Fichtner All-Stars 6-7

SNEEN MACHINE 5-8

Mr. Intens3brook 4-7

Tax Paying Homeowner 4-8