Wisconsin Rapids Bro League
Week Ten
Our Sixth Official Season of blaming Cole Walters for all of Rasheed Wallace's technical fouls.
Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks & [Seasonal Point Totals])
Steven Nett Division
Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 7-3 W3 [1,417.78]
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 5-5 L3 [1,257.16]
Mr. Intens3brook (Scott Aschebrook) 3-6-1 W2 [1.172.32]
Shooter McGavin Division
Christy Fichtner All-Stars (Andy Todd) 6-4 L1 [1,245.46]
The Golladay Inn (Ryan Dougherty) 5-5 L2 [1,290.18]
Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 5-5 L1 [1,226.02]
Tanner Glaza Division
SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 5-5 W3 [1,214.42]
Free Chiquita (Nick Zurawski) 5-5 W1 [1,200.62]
Team Hoefs (Nathaniel Hoefs) 4-6 L3 [1,266.50]
Week Ten Final Scores
NICK defeats RYAN 110.76-107.02
DARRIN defeats HOEFS 154.04-91.72
SCOTT defeats COLE 135.0-111.5
SNEEN defeats ANDY 103.58-79.58
BYE defeats ALEC 0-100.26
Heroes of the Week: RB Alvin Kamara (34.8), QB Tom Brady (31.84), QB Kyler Murray (29.9)
Waiver Wonders: QB Ben Roethlisberger (29.32), WR Cole Beasley (27.9), WR Marquez Valdez-Scantling (24.9)
Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports
Waiver Wonder: QB Ben Roethlisberger (333 yards passing, 4 touchdowns, 0 turnovers)
What-if of the Week: If Ryan were to have put RB Nyheim Hines (28.5) in his FLEX position instead of RB Giovani Bernard (8.7), he'd have beaten Nick by 16.06 points, he'd lead the Shooter McGavin Division and Nick would be in last place in the Tanner Glaza Division.
Getty Images
RB Nyheim Hines not only boned Alec's team by not being RB Jonathan Taylor but, he also scored two touchdowns on Ryan's bench and in a way, is now my own personal Hero of the Week.
Upcoming Week 11 Match-ups
NOTE: NFL Schedule subject to change due to ongoing COVID-19 cases rising and possible postponements. Look it up on your own time.
Ryan v. Alec
Ryan v. Alec
Hoefs v. Sneen
Nick v. Scott
Darrin v. Cole
Andy v. BYE
Bro...
In case you missed it, the trade deadline has passed with barely a whimper of a trade in comparison to years past when sellers sold out and buyers bought big without beware. Thankfully, this should keep things super competitive from here on out. That seems to be a theme this season as now the once upon a time lowly SNEEN MACHINE is ALL-CAPS LEADING HIS DIVISION. How the hell did this happen? Well, it's amazing what a three-game winning streak, being in the same division as a rookie and the inconsistent Nick Zurawski can do for your fantasy fortunes. When Sneen was 2-5 and began this win streak, I quite literally asked "who cares about that?" and now, I can state emphatically that everybody should be doing a whole lot of caring right now about this very thing. Granted, he hypothetically lost with a mediocre showing this week but you can only play the schedule you are blessed or cursed with. Just look at the Cleveland Browns; winning 10-7 over the Texans is by no means impressive (rainstorms don't help offenses typically) but, a 52-0 shutout would have gotten them a 6-3 record just the same. This week, Sneen was the Cleveland Browns and I was the Houston Texans. Somehow, scoring fewer than 80 points for a SECOND time this scoring-heavy season did not lose my grip on first place in the Shooter McGavin division but, it was a pretty wacky week without Kansas City, Dallas's defense or Atlanta playing. The Machine's rebound is largely in part due to the reemergence of Dalvin Cook after a two-week absence and now with Nick Chubb also returning from injury with fresher legs, the ceiling is the roof with this guy. For now, he may be fairly quiet in all of our group chats but I'm sure that deep down, his arms are wide open as he's asking this blog "Now about this bitch that had something to say about me in the press the other week... Andy, What's good?"
Christian Peterson
In a back-and-forth battle that saw us both cheering and jeering every five-yard dump-off to either team's starters, Stefon Diggs' late-game TD against Arizona put a stamp on SNEEN MACHINE's third consecutive victory.
In this image, we see the league's reaction to Cole's new 'do represented by Spongebob with King Neptune playing the role of Cole Walters.
Scott is no longer claiming the "Rise from the Asch3s" team brand but, that might just be what his team is doing after a seemingly hopeless 2-6-1 start. Despite taking a chance on the wrong 49ers Tight End this week (Jordan Reed outscored Ross Dwelley), Scotty boy was still victorious thanks to the haunting of the Phillip Lindsay trade that might just derail Cole's entire season after a 5-2 start. Lindsay dropped a MASSIVE 0.2 this week as not even DeAndre Hopkins' Cardinal game-winning Hail Mary catch could bail out another 96ers shit show. If this continues as trending, I'm sure Darrin will take the high road and NEVER bring this up despite their rivalry. This week's bye week saw Alec Swanson and his team of choking dogs lose the one week where there both wasn't an opponent yet also four opponents (that's the ultra-confusing way of explaining our bye week rule). All the Tax Paying Homeowner needed to do was pull out one W for the Shooter McGavin division since both Ryan and I looked pathetic but no, the Raiders kept on running (so no Derek Carr Hero of the Week) and the Colts preferred Nyheim Hines for this week's gameplan (Jonathan Taylor who?). Our division may have the highest win percentage of the three but, this isn't the NFC West.
The closes match for WRBL Week 10 came from Nick's Free Chiquita and Ryan's The Golladay Inn. After I incorrectly and erroneously reported that Ryan was on BYE this past week, Nick altered the schedule or something (who's commissioning the commissioner?!) and eeeeeeeeked out a victory by the tiniest strain of his ginger knuckle hair. How did the now optimistic Dolphin fanatic pull it off? Some might point to the hustle and bustle of Lamar Jackson in a New England tsunami pulling out the come-from-behind victory after trailing by double-digits coming into Sunday Night Football. Personally? Nick's greatest trick was pulling D'Andre Swift off waivers weeks ago just as the Lions finally decided to bust up the Adrian "BANNED FOR LIFE" Peterson-Kerryon "My Wayward" Johnson-rookie RB trio as one swifty boi won himself some more waiver additions in smaller-brained fantasy football leagues that didn't see the talent that is so clearly there. Granted, the former Georgia Bulldogs' week one, game-losing drop probably put him in the dog house for a literal half-season but now, this dog is unchained and wreaking havoc on the literal mailmen playing defense for Washington last week. In fact, they should change their name to the Washington Mailmen since they mail it in every year that Dan Snyder remains as team owner.
Week 11 should feature some super spicy primetime games between Seattle and Arizona (Thursday), Kansas City and Las Vegas (Sunday), and the LA Rams versus the Tompa Brady Gronkeneers (Monday). Those matches are nothing compared to Andy Todd versus Bye Week. My worst enemy all season long has been myself (just look at those lineup changes I made this week!) and if ever there were a week to solely blame one's self for their fantasy misfortunes, a week with no opponent and a one-game divisional lead AFTER a week where I somehow held onto my divisional lead would be the ultimate "Feels bad bro" showing. It does not help the Christy Fichtner All-Stars' case that divisional bros Alec and Ryan face each other this week so unless there's some bizarrely coincidental passing yardage totals, one of those two will win and could take a lead with two weeks to go. Also trembling nervously as he tries climbing the rope above his gym class, 5-5 Sneen takes on a 4-6 Hoefs while barely grasping a 13.8 point tiebreaker over 5-5 Nick. The last thing we expected for the Tanner Glaza Division in it's inaugural season was a three-way 5-6 tie but with Nick facing sneaky snake Scott, IT'S ALL IN PLAY. Also still in play? The Steven Nett Division, where second place Cole Walters takes on current throne-occupier Darrin Aschebrook in one last effort to knock off the elder statesman. The wind was windy, the rain was wet and the conditions certainly took a toll on some fantasy scoring this past week so, here's to hoping for more fortunate weather this week as scoring is bound to rebound!
Chris O'Meara
Also bound to rebound? newest Heat player Precious Achiuwa. Miami just knows how to find players, man.
2020 WRBL Scoring Leaders
QB
Patrick Mahomes 238.58 (Andy)
Russell Wilson 238.06 (Ryan)
DeShaun Watson 192.86 (Hoefs)
Kyler Murray 187.68 (Cole)
Lamar Jackson 180.88 (Nick)
Matt Ryan 172.64 (Sneen)
Tom Brady 152.86 (Darrin)
Aaron Rodgers 127.16 (Scott)
Dak Prescott 95.84 (Scott)
Joe Burrow 95.20 (Alec)
Josh Allen 82.38 (Cole)
Ben Roethlisberger 44.96 (Alec)
Derek Carr 33.70 (Hoefs/Alec)
Matthew Stafford 30.72 (Darrin)
Carson Wentz 27.76 (Nick)
Gardner Minshew 18.12 (Ryan)
Jared Goff 10.48 (Andy)
Baker Mayfield 5.38 (Sneen)
RB
Alvin Kamara 246.4 (Darrin)
Dalvin Cook 216.3 (Sneen)
Derrick Henry 162.3 (Cole)
Josh Jacobs 153.9 (Scott)
Aaron Jones 142.4 (Ryan)
Ezekiel Elliott 138.1 (Alec)
Todd Gurley 135.3 (Darrin)
James Robinson 131.7 (Andy)
James Conner 121.1 (Hoefs)
Ronald Jones 117.9 (Hoefs/Ryan)
Clyde Edwards-Helaire 114.6 (Scott)
Chris Carson 105.0 (Ryan)
Christian McCaffrey 90.3 (Scott)
Mike Davis 89.2 (Andy)
Kareem Hunt 83.1 (Nick)
Melvin Gordon 82.2 (Darrin)
David Johnson 81.0 (Nick)
Nick Chubb 78.8 (Sneen)
Jonathan Taylor 76.2 (Alec)
Miles Sanders 73.9 (Alec)
Austin Ekeler 64.2 (Andy)
David Montgomery 62.2 (Sneen)
Myles Gaskin 60.4 (Cole)
Jerick McKinnon 57.6 (Hoefs/Scott/Cole)
Joe Mixon 57.5 (Andy/Ryan)
Giovani Bernard 52.1 (Ryan)
Antonio Gibson 50.9 (Andy)
Kenyan Drake 38.4 (Nick)
J.D. McKissic 31.6 (Scott/Ryan)
D'Andre Swift 31.2 (Nick)
Darrell Henderson 31.0 (Darrin)
Justin Jackson 27.7 (Nick)
Raheem Mostert 24.5 (Nick)
Chase Edmonds 22.5 (Scott)
Jamaal Williams 21.4 (Cole)
Boston Scott 17.3 (Cole)
Saquon Barkley 15.4 (Nick)
Le'Veon Bell 15.4 (Andy)
Adrian Peterson 12.8 (Darrin)
DeeJay Dallas 11.9 (Alec)
Malcolm Brown 10.6 (Cole)
Joshua Kelley 10.3 (Sneen)
James White 8.2 (Hoefs)
Jordan Howard 7.9 (Nick)
J.K. Dobbins 7.1 (Cole)
Duke Johnson 5.4 (Hoefs)
Leonard Fournette 5.0 (Sneen)
Alexander Mattison 4.0 (Sneen)
Jeff Wilson Jr. 2.9 (Scott)
Tevin Coleman 2.0 (Ryan)
Phillip Lindsay 0.2 (Cole)
WR
Davante Adams 187.1 (Darrin)
DeAndre Hopkins 175.8 (Cole)
Tyreek Hill 175.2 (Hoefs)
Tyler Lockett 168.1 (Alec)
Keenan Allen 162.0 (Andy)
Stefon Diggs 158.3 (Sneen)
Allen Robinson 156.4 (Alec)
Adam Thielen 150.8 (Darrin)
Calvin Ridley 148.1 (Nick)
D.J. Moore 136.6 (Hoefs)
DK Metcalf 133.9 (Darrin)
Mike Evans 132.2 (Ryan)
Julio Jones 124.8 (Sneen)
Robby Anderson 111.6 (Cole/Sneen)
Robert Woods 111.3 (Nick)
Amari Cooper 109.0 (Scott)
Will Fuller 105.2 (Nick)
Cooper Kupp 100.5 (Andy)
A.J. Brown 85.5 (Andy)
Terry McLaurin 80.4 (Alec)
Chris Godwin 80.1 (Cole)
JuJu Smith-Schuster 66.7 (Sneen/Scott)
Jamison Crowder 61.9 (Ryan)
Tyler Boyd 54.3 (Scott)
DeVante Parker 52.4 (Cole)
Diontae Johnson 48.7 (Ryan/Andy)
Kenny Golladay 48.1 (Ryan)
Jerry Jeudy 46.8 (Ryan/Cole)
Odell Beckham Jr. 45.42 (Scott)
Marvin Jones 45.1 (Hoefs)
Justin Jefferson 39.6 (Alec)
Chase Claypool 37.4 (Scott)
Darius Slayton 35.0 (Ryan)
Cole Beasley 34.8 (Cole)
Travis Fulgham 33.9 (Hoefs)
Tee Higgins 33.2 (Cole)
Brandin Cooks 31.7 (Hoefs)
Corey Davis 26.8 (Ryan)
Marquise Brown 25.8 (Alec)
Allen Lazard 25.7 (Cole)
CeeDee Lamb 25.0 (Scott)
Sterling Shepard 22.4 (Nick)
Brandon Aiyuk 19.7 (Scott)
Michael Thomas 19.5 (Ryan)
Tre'Quan Smith 9.4 (Ryan)
T.Y. Hilton 9.3 (Scott)
Jarvis Landry 9.2 (Cole)
Antonio Brown 6.1 (Scott)
A.J. Green 5.9 (Andy)
Julian Edelman 4.2 (Sneen)
Emmanuel Sanders 2.8 (Sneen)
TE
Travis Kelce 168.9 (Hoefs)
Darren Waller 118.1 (Ryan)
Mark Andrews 98.8 (Darrin)
George Kittle 98.1 (Nick)
Hayden Hurst 96.1 (Alec)
Jonnu Smith 86.3 (Andy)
Noah Fant 68.0 (Cole)
Hunter Henry 61.1 (Sneen)
Zach Ertz 42.5 (Scott)
Tyler Higbee 36.4 (Nick)
Evan Engram 29.9 (Sneen)
T.J. Hockenson 27.1 (Cole/Darrin)
Robert Tonyan 25.1 (Scott)
Eric Ebron 19.9 (Ryan/Nick/Alec)
Rob Gronkowski 13.1 (Hoefs)
Ross Dwelley 3.2 (Scott)
Greg Olsen 3.0 (Cole)
Blake Jarwin 2.2 (Andy)
Chris Herndon 2.1 (Andy)
Austin Hooper 2.1 (Nick)
K
Wil Lutz 91 (Hoefs)
Rodrigo Blankenship 85 (Andy)
Justin Tucker 79 (Scott)
Harrison Butker 77 (Sneen)
Chris Boswell 76 (Nick/Alec)
Greg Zuerlein 74 (Darrin)
Mason Crosby 63 (Cole)
Matt Prater 46 (Alec/Sneen)
Daniel Carlson 40 (Nick)
Jake Elliott 32 (Ryan)
Randy Bullock 20 (Cole/Scott)
Jason Sanders 19 (Nick/Darrin)
Joey Slye 17 (Ryan)
Graham Gano 11 (Ryan)
Robbie Gould 7 (Nick)
Stephen Gostkowski 2 (Hoefs)
Younghoe Koo 2 (Andy)
Ka'imi Fairbairn 1 (Cole)
DF
Baltimore Ravens 85 (Alec/Andy)
Indianapolis Colts 72 (Andy/Ryan)
Los Angeles Rams 60 (Hoefs/Nick/Darrin)
Chicago Bears 57 (Scott)
Pittsburgh Steelers 56 (Hoefs)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 54 (Andy/Ryan)
San Francisco 49ers 39 (Sneen)
Philadelphia Eagles 37 (Nick/Cole/Nick)
Buffalo Bills 34 (Darrin/Hoefs)
Arizona Cardinals 31 (Nick/Cole)
Kansas City Chiefs 28 (Cole/Alec)
New England Patriots 22 (Ryan/Andy/Darrin)
New Orleans Saints 20 (Ryan/Darrin/Alec)
Los Angeles Chargers 18 (Cole/Scott/Andy)
Cleveland Browns 13 (Nick)
Miami Dolphins 12 (Nick)
Washington Football Team 10 (Hoefs/Nick)
New York Jets 8 (Nick)
Green Bay Packers 7 (Cole)
Denver Broncos 6 (Cole)
Atlanta Falcons 2 (Cole)
Dallas Cowboys 1 (Nick)
Houston Texans 1 (Cole)
Detroit Lions -1 (Sneen)
Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose, 5th = BYE)
Team ChowHounds 7-3
The Golladay Inn 4-3
Team Hoefs 5-4
Colieveland 96ers 5-4
Free Chiquita 5-4
Christy Fichtner All-Stars 4-5
Mr. Intens3brook 4-5
Tax Paying Homeowner 3-5
SNEEN MACHINE 3-7
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