Week 11
Our 4th semi-official season of blaming Cole Walters for the rampant greed that has destroyed Thanksgiving.
.Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks)
Scott Bless Scott Damn (Scott Aschebrook) 8-3 L1
The Engine That Could (Andy Todd) 8-3 L1
Tremendous Big League (Nick Zurawski) 6-4-1 W4
Team Easy Breesy (Ryan Dougherty) 6-5 L2
Launders Money With The WRPD (Alec Swanson) 5-6 W1
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 4-6-1 L3
SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 4-7 W1
Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 2-9 W2
Week Ten Final Scores
SNEEN 127 WALTERS 99
SWANSON 170 DOUGHERTY 127
ZURAWSKI 186 TODD 74
ASCHEBROOK SR. 106 ASCHEBROOK JR. 79
Heroes of the Week: WR Antonio Brown (Zurawski), WR Keenan Allen (Dougherty), QB Russell Wilson (Swanson)
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| Hero of the Week: WR Antonio Brown (Tremendous Big League) |
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| Zero of the Week: QB Dak Prescott (The Engine That Could) |
Upcoming Week 12 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)
LA Chargers @ Dallas 3:30 PM
NY Giants @ Washington 7:30 PM
Sunday: Tampa Bay @ Atlanta NOON
Scott v. Nick
Alec v. Tyler
Cole v. Darrin
Andy v. Ryan
Thursday (AKA: Thanksgiving): Minnesota @ Detroit 11:30 AMAlec v. Tyler
Cole v. Darrin
Andy v. Ryan
LA Chargers @ Dallas 3:30 PM
NY Giants @ Washington 7:30 PM
Sunday: Tampa Bay @ Atlanta NOON
Cleveland @ Cincinnati NOON
Tennessee @ Indianapolis NOON
Buffalo @ Kansas City NOON
Miami @ New England NOON
Carolina @ NY Jets NOON
Chicago @ Philadelphia NOON
Seattle @ San Francisco 3:05 PM
Denver @ Oakland 3:25 PM
Tennessee @ Indianapolis NOON
Buffalo @ Kansas City NOON
Miami @ New England NOON
Carolina @ NY Jets NOON
Chicago @ Philadelphia NOON
Seattle @ San Francisco 3:05 PM
Denver @ Oakland 3:25 PM
New Orleans @ LA Rams 3:25 PM
Jacksonville @ Arizona 3:25 PM
Green Bay @ Pittsburgh 7:30 PM
The New England Patriots are the clear favorites right now in the NFL and teams like Pittsburgh, Minnesota, Philadelphia and Jacksonville are just around as distractions, serving no real purpose other than to prove how weak the NFL is right now (though unpredictable runs like those last three are fun to witness) #StayWoke. Week 12 sees the end of bye weeks (peace out, bye weeks) and instead of a full, juicy slate of Sunday games, we get three games and some full meals on Thursday. The Lions play the Vikings in a sneaky great game at 11:30 AM followed by the 54-points-last-week Chargers up against the 16-points-in-two-weeks Cowboys. The nightcap looked promising back in August by the Giants versus a banged-up Washington team just looks sad now. The real game of the week will be the 8-2 Saints at the 7-3 Rams as Sean McVey looks to at least split the two consecutive "prove it" conference games after losing 7-24 in Minnesota. There are three weeks remaining in the WRBL regular season and still, there are five teams with undetermined fates. Suddenly sizzling Darrin gets a shot at the greatest poetic justice since "See Ya Sneen" as a win over Cole Walters would knock the "DoN't lET _____ DIsTRAct YoU frOM THe FacT tHAt DARrIn bLEw A 96-POInt lEaD In tHe SheLbY BowL" poet out of postseason contention. Of course, this could also happen if Ryan defeats Andy and Cole and Sneen would both be sent packing for the consolation bracket. Sneen needs to take down 5-6 Alec's playoff odds by himself if the machine wants to function into December. Nick looks to extend his five-week win streak against the first place holder, Scott Aschebrook. It's an intense week with the trade deadline now passed and the playoff picture coming into clearer view so, wear your shades in case of overexposure to a bright future.
Dak Prescott 175 (TODD)
Aaron Rodgers 103 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Matt Ryan 74 (WALTERS)
Matthew Stafford 64 (ZURAWSKI)
Ben Roethlisberger 61 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Tyrod Taylor 47 (ZURAWSKI)
Philip Rivers 24 (TODD/ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Kareem Hunt 181 (TODD)
Ezekiel Elliott 164 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Leonard Fournette 145 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Christian McCaffrey 125 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Devonta Freeman 107 (SNEEN)
C.J. Anderson 64 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Joe Mixon 61 (TODD)
Chris Thompson 56 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
James White 45 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Duke Johnson Jr. 42 (TODD)
DeMarco Murray 41 (ZURAWSKI)
Dalvin Cook 27 (DOUGHERTY)
LeGarrette Blount 19 (DOUGHERTY)
Tarik Cohen 13 (SWANSON)
Chris Ivory 8 (WALTERS)
DeAndre Hopkins 199 (ZURAWSKI)
A.J. Green 152 (WALTERS)
Adam Thielen 121 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Demaryius Thomas 128 (SNEEN)
Doug Baldwin 113 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Mike Evans 113 (DOUGHERTY)
Stefon Diggs 103 (DOUGHERTY)
Jordy Nelson 90 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Chris Hogan 80 (TODD)
Odell Beckham Jr. 71 (TODD)
Pierre Garcon 46 (SNEEN)
Martavis Bryant 34 (SNEEN)
Terrelle Pryor 22 (SWANSON)
TE
Rob Gronkowski 129 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Zach Ertz 80 (SNEEN)
Martellus Bennett 37 (WALTERS)
Vernon Davis 29 (SNEEN/DOUGHERTY)
Charles Clay 21 (DOUGHERTY)
Austin Seferian-Jenkins 16 (ZURAWSKI)
Jared Cook 9 (WALTERS)
Eric Ebron 2 (WALTERS)
Matt Bryant 94 (ASCHEBROOK SR./SWANSON)
Matt Prater 85 (WALTERS/SWANSON)
Jake Elliott 53 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Giorgio Tavecchio 27 (TODD)
Harrison Butker 21 (ZURAWSKI)
Adam Vinatieri 17 (ZURAWSKI)
Robbie Gould 10 (SWANSON)
Minnesota Vikings 62 (SNEEN)
Carolina Panthers 58 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Los Angeles Rams 53 (TODD)
Kansas City Chiefs 50 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Philadelphia Eagles 40 (ASCHEBROOK JR./ZURAWSKI)
Pittsburgh Steelers 33 (TODD/WALTERS)
Arizona Cardinals 26 (ZURAWSKI/DOUGHERTY/ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Los Angeles Chargers 24 (SWANSON)
Buffalo Bills 14 (ZURAWSKI/TODD)
New Orleans Saints 6 (DOUGHERTY)
The Engine That Could 7-4
Scott Bless Scott Damn 6-5
Jacksonville @ Arizona 3:25 PM
Green Bay @ Pittsburgh 7:30 PM
Monday: Houston @ Baltimore 7:30 PM
Bro...
To say that week 11 was a weird one would be a dramatic understatement. A common theme in every one of my fantasy leagues was an abnormally high amount of points. Also, it seemed like every lame fantasy squad was able to pull off a win (including some of my own) with players like Keenan Allen, Antonio Brown and Matt Ryan elevating their games just enough to not just be another face in one's crowded fantasy lineup. The Bro League saw a first this week as every team that entered their matchup with a weaker won-loss record ended up winning over their previously-stronger opponents. Of course, "stronger" only applies in the previous weeks' worth of accumulated wins and losses as teams like Nick's were still favored on ESPN over my little Engine That Could but, nobody saw a 112-point upset on the horizon (LITERALLY the worst blowout in league history).
To say that week 11 was a weird one would be a dramatic understatement. A common theme in every one of my fantasy leagues was an abnormally high amount of points. Also, it seemed like every lame fantasy squad was able to pull off a win (including some of my own) with players like Keenan Allen, Antonio Brown and Matt Ryan elevating their games just enough to not just be another face in one's crowded fantasy lineup. The Bro League saw a first this week as every team that entered their matchup with a weaker won-loss record ended up winning over their previously-stronger opponents. Of course, "stronger" only applies in the previous weeks' worth of accumulated wins and losses as teams like Nick's were still favored on ESPN over my little Engine That Could but, nobody saw a 112-point upset on the horizon (LITERALLY the worst blowout in league history).
After a 61-point performance by Antonio Brown and Chris Boswell on Thursday night in a game I completely forgot about until after the fact, I knew my goose (or to get in the holiday spirit, turkey) was cooked. I'm just sad Dak is no longer elite and the Chiefs have no idea what the fuck they're doing anymore. Even with my 74-point no-show, I'm still only 6 points out of first place, with Scott's team suffering from the post-Ezekiel Elliott blues. It certainly did not help Scott Bless, Scott Damn that Christian McCaffrey was on bye this week. With Darrin grabbing a second consecutive victory despite playoff elimination, it was looking like we might have some faux drama with neither Scott nor I clinching playoff berths but forget drama in 2017 because Sneen upsetting Cole (figuratively and likely literally) put enough space between the top two and the rest of the league that we officially have our first two postseason squads, Scott Bless Scott Damn and The Engine That Could. Cole has already announced his support for a Nick Zurawski Shelby Bowl victory since Cole is now 0-3 since losing DeShaun Watson and all of his manboob privacy. Lost amid the flashier matches was a surprising 170-point performance by Alec silencing another good showing from hypothetically 10-1 Team Easy Breesy. It's sad that we keep the highest-scoring team in the league from true fantasy domination but, Alec now has the #1 scoring QB, RB and Defense (although, Seattle is no longer on his roster) and Jordan Howard appears to have regained full health and trust just in time for a late playoff push by the artist formerly known as Kissin' TDs.
/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/57715169/876301338.jpg.0.jpg) |
| Gregory Shamus/Getty Images The Jaguars' Defense putting up 27 points sent Nick's week over and above all expectations. |
The New England Patriots are the clear favorites right now in the NFL and teams like Pittsburgh, Minnesota, Philadelphia and Jacksonville are just around as distractions, serving no real purpose other than to prove how weak the NFL is right now (though unpredictable runs like those last three are fun to witness) #StayWoke. Week 12 sees the end of bye weeks (peace out, bye weeks) and instead of a full, juicy slate of Sunday games, we get three games and some full meals on Thursday. The Lions play the Vikings in a sneaky great game at 11:30 AM followed by the 54-points-last-week Chargers up against the 16-points-in-two-weeks Cowboys. The nightcap looked promising back in August by the Giants versus a banged-up Washington team just looks sad now. The real game of the week will be the 8-2 Saints at the 7-3 Rams as Sean McVey looks to at least split the two consecutive "prove it" conference games after losing 7-24 in Minnesota. There are three weeks remaining in the WRBL regular season and still, there are five teams with undetermined fates. Suddenly sizzling Darrin gets a shot at the greatest poetic justice since "See Ya Sneen" as a win over Cole Walters would knock the "DoN't lET _____ DIsTRAct YoU frOM THe FacT tHAt DARrIn bLEw A 96-POInt lEaD In tHe SheLbY BowL" poet out of postseason contention. Of course, this could also happen if Ryan defeats Andy and Cole and Sneen would both be sent packing for the consolation bracket. Sneen needs to take down 5-6 Alec's playoff odds by himself if the machine wants to function into December. Nick looks to extend his five-week win streak against the first place holder, Scott Aschebrook. It's an intense week with the trade deadline now passed and the playoff picture coming into clearer view so, wear your shades in case of overexposure to a bright future.
Scoring Leaders
QB
Russell Wilson 221 (SWANSON)
Tom Brady 203 (SNEEN)
Drew Brees 121 (DOUGHERTY)
DeShaun Watson 91 (WALTERS)
Alex Smith 89 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Cam Newton 73 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Derek Carr 66 (ZURAWSKI)
Carson Wentz 62 (DOUGHERTY)
Jameis Winston 20 (ASCHEBROOK JR./WALTERS)
Andy Dalton 18 (WALTERS)
Marcus Mariota 18 (DOUGHERTY)
Case Keenum 17 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Jared Goff 9 (WALTERS)
Mitchell Trubisky 9 (SWANSON)
Kirk Cousins 7 (SNEEN)
Kirk Cousins 7 (SNEEN)
RB
Le'Veon Bell 187 (SWANSON)
Todd Gurley 176 (DOUGHERTY)
Melvin Gordon 168 (WALTERS)
LeSean McCoy 160 (DOUGHERTY)
Mark Ingram 138 (ZURAWSKI)
Lamar Miller 125 (WALTERS)
Alvin Kamara 120 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Jordan Howard 96 (SWANSON)
Ty Montgomery 74 (SNEEN)
Carlos Hyde 66 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Jay Ajayi 57 (ZURAWSKI)
Ameer Abdullah 53 (TODD)
Latavius Murray 44 (SNEEN)
Javorius Allen 36 (ZURAWSKI/ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Tevin Coleman 30 (SNEEN)
Matt Forte' 24 (SWANSON)
Frank Gore 22 (TODD)
Adrian Peterson 21 (ZURAWSKI)
Doug Martin 20 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Jerick McKinnon 18 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Isaiah Crowell 13 (TODD)
David Johnson 12 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Marshawn Lynch 11 (ZURAWSKI)
David Johnson 12 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Marshawn Lynch 11 (ZURAWSKI)
Bilal Powell 8 (WALTERS/ZURAWSKI)
Alex Collins 5 (SWANSON)
Aaron Jones 5 (WALTERS)
Paul Perkins 3 (TODD)
WR
Antonio Brown 205 (ZURAWSKI)
Michael Thomas 147 (TODD)
Julio Jones 134 (SNEEN)
Jarvis Landry 134 (WALTERS)
Keenan Allen 124 (DOUGHERTY)
Larry Fitzgerald 120 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Tyreek Hill 114 (SWANSON)
Brandin Cooks 112 (SWANSON)
Dez Bryant 91 (SWANSON)
Michael Crabtree 91 (ZURAWSKI)
Emmanuel Sanders 87 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Golden Tate 72 (DOUGHERTY)
Davante Adams 58 (WALTERS)
DeVante Parker 57 (SWANSON)
Amari Cooper 54 (WALTERS)
Sterling Shepard 37 (TODD)
Marvin Jones 29 (DOUGHERTY)
JuJu Smith-Schuster 28 (DOUGHERTY)
DeSean Jackson 27 (WALTERS)
Danny Amendola 26 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Nelson Agholor 24 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Kelvin Benjamin 15 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Ted Ginn Jr. 15 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Mohamed Sanu 12 (TODD)
Marqise Lee 9 (SNEEN)
T.Y. Hilton 8 (TODD)
Marqise Lee 9 (SNEEN)
T.Y. Hilton 8 (TODD)
Eric Decker 7 (SNEEN)
Rishard Matthews 7 (DOUGHERTY)
Rishard Matthews 7 (DOUGHERTY)
Randall Cobb 6 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Devin Funchess 6 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Alshon Jeffery 6 (ZURAWSKI)
Sammy Watkins 2 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
John Brown 1 (DOUGHERTY)
Alshon Jeffery 6 (ZURAWSKI)
Sammy Watkins 2 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
John Brown 1 (DOUGHERTY)
Mike Wallace 1 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
TE
Travis Kelce 157 (TODD)
Jimmy Graham 106 (ZURAWSKI)
Evan Engram 51 (WALTERS)
Jason Witten 49 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Delanie Walker 40 (SWANSON)
Jack Doyle 38 (DOUGHERTY/ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Hunter Henry 33 (DOUGHERTY)
Kyle Rudolph 25 (SWANSON)
Cameron Brate 23 (SWANSON)
Jordan Reed 18 (SNEEN)
Jared Cook 9 (WALTERS)
Greg Olsen 5 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Tyler Eifert 1 (SWANSON)
Tyler Kroft 1 (TODD)
Tyler Kroft 1 (TODD)
K
Wil Lutz 108 (DOUGHERTY)
Stephen Gostkowski 103 (SNEEN)
Greg Zuerlein 66 (ASCHEBROOK SR./TODD)
Justin Tucker 51 (ASCHEBROOK JR./DOUGHERTY/WALTERS)
Dan Bailey 42 (SWANSON/TODD)
Kai Forbath 30 (TODD/WALTERS)
Chris Boswell 28 (TODD/ZURAWSKI)
Ryan Succop 26 (WALTERS/SNEEN)
Mason Crosby 19 (ZURAWSKI)
Brandon McManus 15 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Harrison Butker 5 (ZURAWSKI)
DF
Seattle Seahawks 74 (SWANSON)
Jacksonville Jaguars 61 (ZURAWSKI)
Baltimore Ravens 55 (WALTERS/DOUGHERTY)
Denver Broncos 50 (DOUGHERTY/ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Houston Texans 43 (WALTERS/ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Detroit Lions 27 (SWANSON/SNEEN)
Cincinnati Bengals 22 (WALTERS)
New England Patriots 16 (TODD)
New Orleans Saints 6 (DOUGHERTY)
Washington 5 (WALTERS)
Atlanta Falcons 4 (SWANSON)
Miami Dolphins 4 (ZURAWSKI)
Chicago Bears 3 (ZURAWSKI)
Chicago Bears 3 (ZURAWSKI)
San Francisco 49ers 3 (ZURAWSKI)
New York Giants -2 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
New York Giants -2 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Hypothetical Standings
Team Easy Breesy 10-1
Tremendous Big League 7-4
Launders Money With The WRPD 4-7
Colieveland 96ers 4-7
Colieveland 96ers 4-7
SNEEN MACHINE 3-8
Team ChowHounds 3-8
Team ChowHounds 3-8
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