Week 8
Our 4th semi-official season of blaming Cole Walters for online shopping destroying retail chains.
.Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks)
Scott Bless Scott Damn (Scott Aschebrook) 6-2 W3
The Engine That Could (Andy Todd) 6-2 L1
Team Easy Breesy (Ryan Dougherty) 5-3 W2
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 4-3-1 W1
Kissin' TDs (Alec Swanson) 4-4 L1
Tremendous Big League (Nick Zurawski) 3-4-1 W1
SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 3-5 W1
Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 0-8 L8
Week Seven Final Scores
ASCHEBROOK JR. 117 TODD 107
WALTERS 122 SWANSON 102
DOUGHERTY 123 SNEEN 87
ZURAWSKI 162 ASCHEBROOK SR. 117
Heroes of the Week: WR DeAndre Hopkins (Zurawski), QB Russell Wilson (Swanson), RB LeSean McCoy (Dougherty)
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| Hero of the Week: WR DeAndre Hopkins (Scott Bless Scott Damn) |
Upcoming Week 9 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)
Alec v. Scott
Andy v. Cole
Nick v. Tyler
Andy v. Cole
Nick v. Tyler
Ryan v. Darrin
Thursday: Buffalo @ NY Jets 7:25 PMSunday: Tampa Bay @ New Orleans NOON
Atlanta @ Carolina NOON
LA Rams @ NY Giants NOON
Baltimore @ Tennessee NOON
Cincinnati @ Jacksonville NOON
Denver @ Philadelphia NOON
Indianapolis @ Houston NOON
Washington @ Seattle 3:05 PM
LA Rams @ NY Giants NOON
Baltimore @ Tennessee NOON
Cincinnati @ Jacksonville NOON
Denver @ Philadelphia NOON
Indianapolis @ Houston NOON
Washington @ Seattle 3:05 PM
Arizona @ San Francisco 3:05 PM
Kansas City @ Dallas 3:25 PM
Oakland @ Miami 7:30 PM
Nick was this week's beneficiary of Darrin's bad luck. Don't insinuate for a second that the red-headed one did not earn this victory though, as Z rode DeAndre Hopkins' 36-point explosion for his own 162-117 victory. Scoring has been down all year and 162 points are the most scored by anyone in one week all 2017 long. It was nice that Nick was the high scorer the one week that his NFL team took a big, fat 0-40 dump. Alec's 4-game win streak came to an end as Cole passes Kissin' TDs in the standings. The SNEEN MACHINE might be in 7th place as I type this but, the standings are so bunched together that he is far from out of contention. Lastly, Scott has taken first place in the Bro League standings despite a nearly awesome Monday Night comeback from my two Chiefs (Kareem "Scottfucker" Hunt and Travis Kelce). Now, Scott only holds a 19-point advantage over second place.
The NFL and WRBL Trade Deadlines have passed and there were no trades in one league, with a handful of blockbuster deals being made in the other. For the first time ever, the roles were reversed with us fantasy owners being too stubborn to agree to a deal, while NFL GMs went nuts in trading fantasy-relevant names. Alec's odds improve with OT Duane Brown now blocking for Russell Wilson and Swanson will be up against league-leader Scott as Kelvin Benjamin might be making his Bills debut on Thursday Night Football against the Jets. When asked about Jay Ajayi being dealt to the Eagles for a fourth-round draft pick, Dolphins fan Nick Zurawski was too heartbroken to be reached for a comment. Fantasy owner Nick Zurawski shared a much different, somewhat optimistic tone when asked about the deal, stating "it can't get much worse.". That theory will be tested this week when the Eagles take on Denver's incredible run defense and Nick faces Sneen as the Machine tries to claw back into the playoff chase. The Jimmy Garoppolo trade likely has no WRBL or NFL impact on the 2017 season since the 49ers are 0-8 and much like the 0-8 ChowHounds, it's going to take more than a quarterback change to right their wrongs. Ryan leads the WRBL in scoring so, Darrin needs to throw together one hell of a lineup to pull off an upset in week nine. Finally, it's 2015 vs. 2016 when Cole and I face for the second time in 2017. Good luck to all this week and may your fantasy hopes never dwindle as it is still anybody's game to win.
Leonard Fournette 126 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Todd Gurley 122 (DOUGHERTY)
Christian McCaffrey 87 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
C.J. Anderson 64 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Ty Montgomery 60 (SNEEN)
DeMarco Murray 36 (ZURAWSKI)
Dalvin Cook 27 (DOUGHERTY)
Tarik Cohen 13 (SWANSON)
Tevin Coleman 10 (SNEEN)
Jerick McKinnon 8 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Bilal Powell 6 (WALTERS)
Adrian Peterson 4 (ZURAWSKI)
Paul Perkins 3 (TODD)
Jordy Nelson 90 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Tyreek Hill 86 (SWANSON)
Jarvis Landry 85 (WALTERS)
Odell Beckham Jr. 71 (TODD)
Doug Baldwin 64 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Larry Fitzgerald 63 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Emmanuel Sanders 61 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Golden Tate 48 (DOUGHERTY)
Pierre Garcon 46 (SNEEN)
DeVante Parker 33 (SWANSON)
Terrelle Pryor 22 (SWANSON)
Rishard Matthews 7 (DOUGHERTY)
TE
Rob Gronkowski 112 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Zach Ertz 78 (SNEEN)
Jimmy Graham 76 (ZURAWSKI)
Kyle Rudolph 25 (SWANSON)
Jack Doyle 22 (DOUGHERTY)
Jordan Reed 18 (SNEEN)
Vernon Davis 16 (SNEEN)
Austin Seferian-Jenkins 16 (ZURAWSKI)
Delanie Walker 13 (SWANSON)
Jared Cook 9 (WALTERS)
Eric Ebron 2 (WALTERS)
Matt Prater 53 (WALTERS)
Dan Bailey 42 (SWANSON/TODD)
Greg Zuerlein 31 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Giorgio Tavecchio 27 (TODD)
Adam Vinatieri 17 (ZURAWSKI)
Ryan Succop 14 (WALTERS)
Denver Broncos 43 (DOUGHERTY)
Los Angeles Rams 31 (TODD)
Buffalo Bills 14 (ZURAWSKI/TODD)
Arizona Cardinals 11 (ZURAWSKI)
Washington 5 (WALTERS)
Scott Bless Scott Damn 5-3
Kansas City @ Dallas 3:25 PM
Oakland @ Miami 7:30 PM
Monday: Detroit @ Green Bay 7:30 PM
BYE WEEKS: New England, Pittsburgh, Minnesota, Chicago, LA Chargers, Cleveland
BYE WEEKS: New England, Pittsburgh, Minnesota, Chicago, LA Chargers, Cleveland
Bro...
We are now halfway through the WRBL season and THINGS JUST GOT INTERESTING. Not only did the NFL decide to break it's typically dull mold and actually throw some fantasy-relevant players around in trades but, first place has changed for the first time since Andy semi-upset Ryan in week four. Not only did basketball just begin and the Cavaliers aren't a playoff team but, the Houston Astros have won their first World Series ever! Not only is it snowing outside but, the college football rankings are here and Georgia > Alabama?! What an elite (shoutout to Joe Flacco, RIP) time to be alive.
Darrin Aschebrook has had the saddest fantasy football life of all. It all began in the summer of 2015, when we added him to the league as a last-minute seat filler due to the need for an even amount of teams. Shortly afterwards, D-Rizzle began his reign as the #1 team in our league with a 6-0 record. That six-game winning streak was followed by a six-game losing streak. That six-game losing streak was followed by a barely-clinched playoff appearance, which led to a postseason one-and-done appearance. 2016 also saw Darrin hold the longest undefeated record and everything was moving smoothly until the 96-point comeback heard round the world in a championship loss for the ages. Did I mention he tore up his leg prior to his far worse collapse? This season, Darrin was not the last undefeated team standing, nor has he experienced postseason disappointment quite yet. No, Scott's dad has lost Aaron Rodgers and David Johnson (likely for the season) to severe injury and is the final winless team at 0-8. All that after being randomly blessed with the #1 pick... yowza. I just hope Darrin is of sound mind so that he may continue playing this cruel game with us despite his shockingly continuous misfortune.
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| Pete Marovich/UPI Things only get more challenging for Scott's 1st place team with Ezekiel Elliott (Scott Bless Scott Damn's leading scorer) now beginning a six-game suspension. |
The NFL and WRBL Trade Deadlines have passed and there were no trades in one league, with a handful of blockbuster deals being made in the other. For the first time ever, the roles were reversed with us fantasy owners being too stubborn to agree to a deal, while NFL GMs went nuts in trading fantasy-relevant names. Alec's odds improve with OT Duane Brown now blocking for Russell Wilson and Swanson will be up against league-leader Scott as Kelvin Benjamin might be making his Bills debut on Thursday Night Football against the Jets. When asked about Jay Ajayi being dealt to the Eagles for a fourth-round draft pick, Dolphins fan Nick Zurawski was too heartbroken to be reached for a comment. Fantasy owner Nick Zurawski shared a much different, somewhat optimistic tone when asked about the deal, stating "it can't get much worse.". That theory will be tested this week when the Eagles take on Denver's incredible run defense and Nick faces Sneen as the Machine tries to claw back into the playoff chase. The Jimmy Garoppolo trade likely has no WRBL or NFL impact on the 2017 season since the 49ers are 0-8 and much like the 0-8 ChowHounds, it's going to take more than a quarterback change to right their wrongs. Ryan leads the WRBL in scoring so, Darrin needs to throw together one hell of a lineup to pull off an upset in week nine. Finally, it's 2015 vs. 2016 when Cole and I face for the second time in 2017. Good luck to all this week and may your fantasy hopes never dwindle as it is still anybody's game to win.
Scoring Leaders
QB
Tom Brady 156 (SNEEN)
Dak Prescott 139 (TODD)
Matt Ryan 60 (WALTERS)
Derek Carr 39 (ZURAWSKI)
Marcus Mariota 18 (DOUGHERTY)
Russell Wilson 151 (SWANSON)
Aaron Rodgers 103 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
DeShaun Watson 91 (WALTERS)
Drew Brees 90 (DOUGHERTY)
Alex Smith 65 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Tyrod Taylor 47 (ZURAWSKI)
Ben Roethlisberger 44 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Matthew Stafford 44 (ZURAWSKI)
Carson Wentz 43 (DOUGHERTY)
Philip Rivers 24 (TODD/ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Cam Newton 19 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Andy Dalton 18 (WALTERS)
Jameis Winston 18 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Mitchell Trubisky 9 (SWANSON)
Mitchell Trubisky 9 (SWANSON)
RB
Kareem Hunt 162 (TODD)
Le'Veon Bell 153 (SWANSON)
Ezekiel Elliott 149 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Melvin Gordon 146 (WALTERS)
LeSean McCoy 125 (DOUGHERTY)
Devonta Freeman 98 (SNEEN)
Lamar Miller 88 (WALTERS)
Mark Ingram 75 (ZURAWSKI)
Jordan Howard 73 (SWANSON)
Jay Ajayi 46 (ZURAWSKI)
James White 45 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Alvin Kamara 41 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Joe Mixon 38 (TODD)
Carlos Hyde 34 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Chris Thompson 31 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Frank Gore 22 (TODD)
Ameer Abdullah 21 (TODD)
LeGarrette Blount 19 (DOUGHERTY)
Javorius Allen 17 (ZURAWSKI)
Doug Martin 15 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Isaiah Crowell 13 (TODD)
David Johnson 12 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Duke Johnson Jr. 12 (TODD)
Marshawn Lynch 11 (ZURAWSKI)
David Johnson 12 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Duke Johnson Jr. 12 (TODD)
Marshawn Lynch 11 (ZURAWSKI)
Latavius Murray 10 (SNEEN)
Chris Ivory 8 (WALTERS)Jerick McKinnon 8 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Bilal Powell 6 (WALTERS)
Adrian Peterson 4 (ZURAWSKI)
WR
Antonio Brown 156 (ZURAWSKI)
DeAndre Hopkins 144 (ZURAWSKI)
A.J. Green 114 (WALTERS)
Mike Evans 111 (DOUGHERTY)
Michael Thomas 98 (TODD)
Julio Jones 94 (SNEEN)
Stefon Diggs 86 (DOUGHERTY)
Chris Hogan 80 (TODD)
Keenan Allen 77 (DOUGHERTY)
Demaryius Thomas 75 (SNEEN)
Brandin Cooks 73 (SWANSON)
Michael Crabtree 71 (ZURAWSKI)
Adam Thielen 67 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Davante Adams 58 (WALTERS)
Dez Bryant 57 (SWANSON)
Martavis Bryant 34 (SNEEN)
Amari Cooper 34 (WALTERS)
DeSean Jackson 27 (WALTERS)
Danny Amendola 26 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Nelson Agholor 24 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Kelvin Benjamin 12 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
T.Y. Hilton 8 (TODD)
Eric Decker 7 (SNEEN)Rishard Matthews 7 (DOUGHERTY)
Randall Cobb 6 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Devin Funchess 6 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Alshon Jeffery 6 (ZURAWSKI)
Sammy Watkins 2 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
John Brown 1 (DOUGHERTY)
Alshon Jeffery 6 (ZURAWSKI)
Sammy Watkins 2 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
John Brown 1 (DOUGHERTY)
Mike Wallace 1 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
TE
Travis Kelce 121 (TODD)
Martellus Bennett 37 (WALTERS)
Jason Witten 35 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Hunter Henry 28 (DOUGHERTY)
Cameron Brate 22 (SWANSON)
Charles Clay 21 (DOUGHERTY)
Evan Engram 18 (WALTERS)
Evan Engram 18 (WALTERS)
Austin Seferian-Jenkins 16 (ZURAWSKI)
Delanie Walker 13 (SWANSON)
Greg Olsen 5 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Tyler Eifert 1 (SWANSON)
K
Stephen Gostkowski 83 (SNEEN)
Wil Lutz 72 (DOUGHERTY)
Matt Bryant 65 (ASCHEBROOK SR./SWANSON)
Jake Elliott 43 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Justin Tucker 42 (ASCHEBROOK JR./DOUGHERTY/WALTERS)
Harrison Butker 21 (ZURAWSKI)
Mason Crosby 19 (ZURAWSKI)
Kai Forbath 16 (TODD)
Robbie Gould 10 (SWANSON)
Chris Boswell 3 (TODD)
DF
Minnesota Vikings 62 (SNEEN)
Baltimore Ravens 55 (WALTERS/DOUGHERTY)
Carolina Panthers 52 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Kansas City Chiefs 51 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Seattle Seahawks 50 (SWANSON)
Houston Texans 35 (WALTERS/ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Jacksonville Jaguars 34 (ZURAWSKI)
Philadelphia Eagles 30 (ASCHEBROOK JR./ZURAWSKI)
Pittsburgh Steelers 25 (TODD/WALTERS)
Cincinnati Bengals 23 (WALTERS)
New England Patriots 16 (TODD)
Atlanta Falcons 4 (SWANSON)
Miami Dolphins 4 (ZURAWSKI)
San Francisco 49ers 3 (ZURAWSKI)
Detroit Lions 2 (SWANSON)
Hypothetical Standings
Team Easy Breesy 7-1Scott Bless Scott Damn 5-3
Tremendous Big League 5-3
The Engine That Could 5-3
Colieveland 96ers 4-4
SNEEN MACHINE 2-6
SNEEN MACHINE 2-6
Kissin' TDs 2-6
Team ChowHounds 2-6
Team ChowHounds 2-6
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