WRBL Week 8 2015

The Wisconsin Rapids Bro League

Week 8
Our 2nd semi-official season of blaming Cole Walters for whatever happened to the 49ers

Current Standings

Herbstreit Division

Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds (Father Aschebrook) 6-2 L2

Nick's Mopey Team of Sadness (Nick Zurawski) 5-3 L1

Sneen Machine (Tyler Sneen) 5-3 W2

Team Moon (Evan Moon) 4-4 W3

Bilbo Unable To Braggins (Scott Aschebrook) 2-6 L1

Fowler Division

Arian Foster's Achilles Heel (Alec Swanson) 5-3 W1

Spider 2 Y Banana (Andy Todd) 5-3 W2

Show Stoppers (Cole Walters) 4-4 W1

Team Silka (Alex Silka) 3-5 L4

Team Tiffany (Josh Tiffany) 1-7 L2

Week Eight Final Scores

WALTERS  148  ASCHEBROOK SR.  89

SWANSON  130  ZURAWSKI  101

TODD  147  ASCHEBROOK  124

MOON  128  SILKA  91

SNEEN  146  TIFFANY  105

Advocate Staff - Matthew Hinton
Hero of the Week: QB Drew Brees (Sneen Machine)

Heroes of the Week: QB Drew Brees (Sneen), WR Odell Beckham Jr. (Walters), QB Eli Manning (Walters)

Zeros of the Week: RB Andre Ellington (Silka), DF New York Jets (Zurawski), HC Ken Whisenhunt (Free Agent)

USA TODAY Sports - Troy Taormina
Zero of the Week: Head Coach Ken Whisenhunt (fired by Titans, 6-44 over last 50 games as an NFL Head Coach)

Upcoming Week 9 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)

Spider 2 Y Banana v. Show Stoppers

Team Tiffany v. Team Moon

Sneen Machine v. Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds

Arian Foster's Achilles Heel v. Team Silka

Nick's Mopey Team of Sadness v. Bilbo Unable To Braggins

BYE WEEK: Seattle Seahawks, Houston Texans, Kansas City Chiefs, Detroit Lions, Arizona Cardinals, Baltimore Ravens

Thursday Game: Cleveland @ Cincinnati 7:25 PM

Sunday: Green Bay @ Carolina NOON

Washington @ New England NOON

Tennessee @ New Orleans NOON

Miami @ Buffalo NOON

St. Louis @ Minnesota NOON

Jacksonville @ NY Jets NOON

Oakland @ Pittsburgh NOON

NY Giants @ Tampa Bay 3:05 PM

Atlanta @ San Francisco 3:05 PM 

Denver @ Indianapolis 3:25 PM

Philadelphia @ Dallas 7:30 PM

Monday: Chicago @ San Diego 7:30 PM

Bro...

Did your fantasy team survive the NFL's Red Wedding Week? Reading my timeline on Sunday was like reading the Titanic shipwreck's obituaries. It was just name after name after name. Tyler Sneen and his machine lost angry pitbull Steve Smith Sr. to a torn Achilles and will have one less flex option. J-Tiff lost his only non-disappointment not named Woodhead in Keenan Allen and will struggle at the WR1 slot. Teams Moon and Silka both suffered injuries to starting WR's Brandon Marshall and Calvin Johnson, who are both questionable for the upcoming week. I lost Kendall Wright potentially for 2-4 weeks a few days after sneakily adding already-injured Vincent Jackson and having to cut injured RB Carlos Hyde. Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds lost one of the five best remaining RBs in the league in Matt Forte' for at least one week. The worst injury of all though, happened to defending champion Nick Zurawski as Le'Veon Bell tore his MCL and is down for the season. Previously, Rapmaster Nicky Z used Giovani Bernard and had LeGarrette Blount sitting all cozy on his bench but, now it might just be time for those two to be relied upon on a weekly basis (which might be more frightening than anything any of us saw on Halloween). Only time and points will tell whether the impact of the NFL's Red Wedding Week will be felt throughout the rest of the season but, it seems impossible for it not to have any impact. 

Ken Whisenhunt has been fired as Head Coach of the Tennessee Titans and will be replaced by former Bills/Jaguars' HC Mike Mularkey so, all of those fantasy owners with relevant Titans in the league may now rejoice (literally nobody but me). Also canned, Colts Offensive Coordinator Pep Hamilton was replaced by Rob Chudzinski (former Browns' one-season wonder as a Head Coach) and I'm sure Chudzinski will stop calling those plays were Andrew Luck hangs onto the ball way too long and throws picks instead of hitting the open receiver. In all seriousness, the move might not mean much this week as the Colts face the Denver Broncos who totally Cosby'd the Packers on Sunday Night Football (you can decipher the multiple ways the phrase "Cosby'd" works in this instance. Did someone slip something in Rodgers' drink pregame?). In the now-weekly Cowboy backfield update, Joseph Randle was straight up cut, making an earlier trade between Scott and Josh look a bit more lopsided for the exact opposite teams we had originally thought. Is Peyton Manning back? Lol, no. That doesn't mean he won't be as serviceable as say... Alex Smith but, there were still many audible quacks heard on his throws that Green Bay just defended incredibly poorly. 

Jack Dempsey/AP Photo
A weaker Aaron Rodgers performance has never been seen before in the NFL.

With all three of the London games in our rearview mirror, the only early game to worry about for setting lineups early is Thursday night's AFC North showdown between the Cincinnati Bengals and JOHNAAAY FOOTBAWWW and the Cleveland Browns. For the only time all year, there are six teams on a bye week for some dumb reason (there were only 2 week 4!) and the list of unusable players include Marshawn Lynch, Jimmy Graham, Charcandrick West, Jeremy Maclin, Justin Forsett, DeAndre Hopkins, Carson Palmer and Larry Fitzgerald. This week's bro league match-ups include a potential major standings shakeup if Sneen Machine manages to upset Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds and an intriguing battle between the 4-4 Show Stoppers and his rival, 5-3 Spider 2 Y Banana (I still haven't forgotten about the delayed draft night, Cole). Nick will try to rebound from losing Le'Veon Bell against surprising underachiever Bilbo Unable To Braggins. Team Tiffany will continue to search for a second win against Team Moon in the battle of uncreative team names. The last match-up is between Alec and Alex and the loser will be called by the wrong name all week as punishment (just a brainstormed idea). I will be venturing off to Pittsville this Sunday for another league's mid-season draft (it's a whole thing, I won't get into it here) so, hopefully Todd's Tornados pick up some great scorers to catapult from 7th into 1st and hopefully, we don't have to dig graves for more player's seasons.

2015 Scoring Leaders

QB

Tom Brady 183 (TODD)

Aaron Rodgers 131 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Philip Rivers 123 (MOON)

Matt Ryan 122 (SWANSON)

Russell Wilson 120 (SILKA)

Drew Brees 115 (SNEEN)

Carson Palmer 102 (ASCHEBROOK)

Andrew Luck 91 (ZURAWSKI)

Eli Manning 80 (WALTERS)

Peyton Manning 57 (TIFFANY)

Cam Newton 49 (TIFFANY)

Tyrod Taylor 35 (ASCHEBROOK)

Blake Bortles 31 (TODD/ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Sam Bradford 27 (MOON)

Andy Dalton 23 (WALTERS)

Ben Roethlisberger 23 (WALTERS)

Ryan Tannehill 19 (ASCHEBROOK/ZURAWSKI)
Derek Carr 13 (ZURAWSKI)

Colin Kaepernick 13 (SNEEN)

Alex Smith 13 (ZURAWSKI)

Tony Romo 6 (WALTERS)

RB

Devonta Freeman 178 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Mark Ingram 134 (ZURAWSKI)

Danny Woodhead 121 (TIFFANY)

Matt Forte 115 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Le'Veon Bell 107 (ZURAWSKI)

Justin Forsett 102 (SNEEN)

Adrian Peterson 101 (MOON)

Chris Ivory 98 (WALTERS)

Lamar Miller 98 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK)

Jamaal Charles 96 (ASCHEBROOK)

DeMarco Murray 85 (SNEEN)

Doug Martin 75 (SWANSON)

Arian Foster 73 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)

Carlos Hyde 73 (TODD)

Jonathan Stewart 73 (TIFFANY)

Todd Gurley 69 (TODD)

Marshawn Lynch 68 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK)

Latavius Murray 63 (MOON)

LeSean McCoy 61 (WALTERS)

Dion Lewis 50 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Jeremy Hill 43 (MOON)

Eddie Lacy 43 (SILKA)

Melvin Gordon 36 (WALTERS)

C.J. Anderson 34 (TIFFANY)

T.J. Yeldon 33 (SNEEN)

DeAngelo Williams 30 (SILKA)

Giovani Bernard 29 (ZURAWSKI)

Frank Gore 28 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Ameer Abdullah 26 (TODD)

Isaiah Crowell 23 (SILKA)

Duke Johnson Jr. 22 (TODD)

Theo Riddick 21 (WALTERS)

Charcandrick West 21 (TODD)

Shane Vereen 20 (SNEEN)

Darren McFadden 19 (ASCHEBROOK)

Chris Johnson 18 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)

Karlos Williams 16 (ASCHEBROOK)

Alfred Morris 14 (SILKA)

Joseph Randle 13 (ASCHEBROOK)

Branden Oliver 12 (TODD)

Tevin Coleman 9 (ZURAWSKI)

David Johnson 6 (SILKA)

Darren Sproles 6 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Alfred Blue 5 (ZURAWSKI)

Lance Dunbar 5 (SWANSON)

Bishop Sankey 4 (WALTERS)

Rashad Jennings 1 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Matt Jones 1 (TODD)

WR

Julio Jones 196 (TODD)

DeAndre Hopkins 187 (ZURAWSKI)

Keenan Allen 157 (TIFFANY)

Odell Beckham Jr. 154 (WALTERS)

Julian Edelman 145 (SILKA)

Antonio Brown 139 (SNEEN)

Larry Fitzgerald 131 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK)

A.J. Green 131 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)

Demaryius Thomas 127 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)

Calvin Johnson 125 (SILKA)

Jarvis Landry 118 (ZURAWSKI)

Emmanuel Sanders 109 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

T.Y. Hilton 106 (WALTERS)

Randall Cobb 96 (TODD)

Allen Robinson 82 (MOON)

Jordan Matthews 80 (SNEEN)

Steve Smith Sr. 77 (SNEEN)

Brandon Marshall 70 (MOON)

Alshon Jeffery 67 (SWANSON)

John Brown 60 (MOON)

Donte Moncrief 58 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Amari Cooper 46 (SWANSON)

Rishard Matthews 45 (ASCHEBROOK/TIFFANY)

Golden Tate 44 (ASCHEBROOK/ZURAWSKI)

Kendall Wright 41 (TODD)

Mike Evans 37 (MOON)

Pierre Garcon 37 (ZURAWSKI)

Jeremy Maclin 35 (ASCHEBROOK)

Vincent Jackson 34 (ASCHEBROOK)

Brandin Cooks 33 (TODD)

Malcom Floyd 26 (WALTERS)

Tyler Lockett 24 (SILKA)

Danny Amendola 22 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Stefon Diggs 22 (ASCHEBROOK)

Sammy Watkins 22 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Travis Benjamin 18 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)

Rueben Randle 18 (WALTERS)

Mike Wallace 18 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Davante Adams 17 (MOON)

James Jones 14 (TODD)

Eric Decker 13 (SNEEN)

Andre Johnson 11 (ZURAWSKI)

Tavon Austin 10 (TIFFANY)

Martavis Bryant 8 (SNEEN)

Stevie Johnson 7 (ASCHEBROOK)

Brandon Coleman 6 (ASCHEBROOK)

Marques Colston 6 (TIFFANY)

Willie Snead 5 (SWANSON)

Charles Johnson 4 (MOON)

Marvin Jones 3 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Torrey Smith 3 (SILKA)

TE

Rob Gronkowski 144 (ZURAWSKI)

Travis Kelce 107 (WALTERS)

Tyler Eifert 103 (SWANSON)

Jimmy Graham 93 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Jason Witten 81 (TIFFANY)

Martellus Bennett 78 (SNEEN)

Delanie Walker 74 (TODD)

Greg Olsen 71 (MOON)

Gary Barnidge 52 (TIFFANY)

Jordan Cameron 48 (SILKA)

Antonio Gates 48 (ASCHEBROOK)

Zach Ertz 30 (MOON)

Charles Clay 25 (TODD/SWANSON)

Dwayne Allen 10 (ASCHEBROOK)

Jared Cook 9 (TODD)

Benjamin Watson 9 (ASCHEBROOK)

Larry Donnell 8 (ZURAWSKI)

Eric Ebron 5 (ASCHEBROOK)

Kyle Rudolph 5 (ASCHEBROOK)

Austin Seferian-Jenkins 4 (ASCHEBROOK)

Julius Thomas 1 (SNEEN)

K

Stephen Gostkowski 91 (ASCHEBROOK)

Justin Tucker 82 (SNEEN)

Steven Hauschka 81 (TIFFANY)

Matt Bryant 57 (WALTERS)

Mason Crosby 57 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Brandon McManus 55 (SWANSON)

Chandler Catanzaro 46 (TODD)

Blair Walsh 45 (MOON)

Dan Bailey 37 (MOON)

Robbie Gould 30 (SILKA)

Matt Prater 19 (ZURAWSKI)

Josh Brown 18 (ZURAWSKI)

Cody Parkey 16 (SILKA)

Andrew Franks 14 (TODD)

Josh Lambo 9 (SWANSON)

Dustin Hopkins 7 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Dan Carpenter 5 (ASCHEBROOK)

Adam Vinatieri -1 (SWANSON)

DF

Denver Broncos 116 (SILKA)

Seattle Seahawks 78 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

St. Louis Rams 76 (SNEEN)

Carolina Panthers 57 (ZURAWSKI/SWANSON)

New England Patriots 52 (TIFFANY)

New York Jets 46 (MOON/ZURAWSKI)

Kansas City Chiefs 43 (MOON)

Buffalo Bills 41 (WALTERS)

Philadelphia Eagles 39 (TODD)

Houston Texans 31 (ASCHEBROOK/WALTERS)

Arizona Cardinals 30 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK)

Atlanta Falcons 17 (SWANSON/TODD)

Miami Dolphins 7 (TODD)

Indianapolis Colts 1 (ZURAWSKI)

Green Bay Packers -1 (TIFFANY)

Cleveland Browns -3 (ZURAWSKI)

Baltimore Ravens -4 (SWANSON/ZURAWSKI/SNEEN)

Hypothetical Standings (If the 5 highest scoring teams were winners each week)

Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds 6-2

Arian Foster's Achilles Heel 6-2

Spider 2 Y Banana 5-3

Nick's Mopey Team of Sadness 5-3

Sneen Machine 5-3

Team Moon 5-3

Bilbo Unable To Braggins 2-6
Show Stoppers 2-6 (NOTE: I had somehow neglected to place Cole's team in the Hypothetical Standings for a while now but, I did the math and this is officially his standing)
Team Tiffany 2-6

Team Silka 2-6