WRBL Week 10 2015

The Wisconsin Rapids Bro League

Week 10

Our 2nd semi-official season of blaming Cole Walters for Thursday Night Football

Current Standings

ESPN Division

Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds (Father Aschebrook) 6-4 L4

Nick's Mopey Team of Sadness (Nick Zurawski) 6-4 W1

Sneen Machine (Tyler Sneen) 6-4 L1

Team Moon (Evan Moon) 6-4 W5

Bilbo Unable To Braggins (Scott Aschebrook) 3-7 L1

FoxSports1 Division

Spider 2 Y Banana (Andy Todd) 7-3 W4

Arian Foster's Achilles Heel (Alec Swanson) 6-4 L1

Show Stoppers (Cole Walters) 5-5 W1

Team Silka (Alex Silka) 4-6 W1

Team Tiffany (Josh Tiffany) 1-9 L4

Week Ten Final Scores

SILKA  79  ASCHEBROOK SR.  69

ZURAWSKI  136  SNEEN  108

TODD  139  SWANSON  73

MOON  138  ASCHEBROOK  87

WALTERS  144  TIFFANY  87

Jeff Curry - USA TODAY Sports
Hero of the Week: RB Jeremy Langford (Show Stoppers)

Heroes of the Week: WR Antonio Brown (Sneen), RB Jeremy Langford (Walters), RB Charcandrick West (Todd)

Zeros of the Week: RB Antonio Andrews (Swanson), WR Emmanuel Sanders (Aschebrook Sr.), Owner Josh Tiffany (Tiffany)

Doug Pensinger/Getty Images
Zero of the Week: WR Emmanuel Sanders (Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds)

Upcoming Week 11 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)

Team Silka v. Spider 2 Y Banana
Show Stoppers v. Bilbo Unable To Braggins
Nick's Mopey Team of Sadness v. Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds
Sneen Machine v. Team Moon
Team Tiffany v. Arian Foster's Achilles Heel

BYE WEEK: Pittsburgh Steelers, New Orleans Saints, New York Jets, Cleveland Browns

Thursday Game: Tennessee @ Jacksonville 7:25 PM

Sunday: Oakland @ Detroit NOON

Indianapolis @ Atlanta NOON

NY Jets @ Houston NOON

Tampa Bay @ Philadelphia NOON

Denver @ Chicago NOON

St. Louis @ Baltimore NOON

Dallas @ Miami NOON

Washington @ Carolina NOON

Kansas City @ San Diego 3:05 PM 

Green Bay @ Minnesota 3:25 PM

San Francisco @ Seattle 3:25 PM
Cincinnati @ Arizona 7:30 PM

Monday: Buffalo @ New England 7:30 PM

Bro...

We are now ten weeks into the 2015 NFL season and if there's one thing that we've all learned is that none of us know anything right now. For instance, we now have a new #1 team (Spider 2 Y Banana) after Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds went from 6-0 to 6-4 and now there are four teams basically tied for second in the Bro League. There are three regular-season fantasy weeks remaining and the playoff spots are completely up for grabs. This week, I got my revenge for a week two loss to Alex Birddaughter (or whatever his name is) in a major way with a 66-point win and continued a four game winning streak. Cole destroyed Josh as predicted by anyone who saw Josh's lineup as Cole maintains relevancy at 5-5. Scott's disappointing season is not entirely over yet but he needs to win out after dropping a match-up against smoldering hot Team Moon, who is on a league-high five game winning streak. Nick beat Sneen as they are both in the 6-4 logjam and Thee Chowhounds dropped a steaming turd of 69 points against Team Silka's 79 in a match-up that nobody had any right winning but, that's just not how fantasy football works and Andre Ellington's fluke touchdown run sealed it so, Congrats Silka! The level of things we don't know has even stretched into the NFL where total chaos and uncertainty reign tall. 

So, Peyton Manning is the worst starting Quarterback in the NFL, the Packers suck and Seattle's defense is made out of Swiss cheese. That about summarizes the insanity that has taken over the reality football taking place on real fields right now. Oh yeah, and what is a catch? Nobody has any idea but luckily for everyone, I have looked up the rule and I am surprised at how strict the NFL really is. The rule states "You must cradle the football, carry it 30 yards, put it to bed, read it stories and watch it grow until it has a family of it's own". I don't know how it only takes them ten minutes of reviews in order to determine if all of the criteria has been reached when we all know that ten steps with full possession just is not good enough. Who's ready for Brock Lobster!?. That's right, this week the Chiefs learned what it was like to beat an actual dead horse as Peyton Manning took the Broncos hostage on his wild ride with a stat-line we all knew was coming eventually (5/20-30-0-4) and now, little Brocky Osweiler finally gets to play ball with the big kids. Back to the referees not even knowing what the hell is going on, the Packers, Seahawks, Ravens and Giants were all robbed of wins by missed calls (Lions had ten men on the field on Mason Crosby's field goal and Jacksonville's offensive line wasn't set on the facemask by Baltimore that won Jacksonville the game) and that whole "What is a catch?" debate (The Cardinals definitely had a catch and fumble that could have given Seattle another touchdown and Odell Beckham Jr. caught a TD that got reversed and New York settled for a field goal before losing on a field goal). I look at the NFL standings and I see that 20 out of 32 teams are under .500 and some of those teams include real teams like Philadelphia, Seattle, Chicago, Kansas City and Oakland. I think everyone needs to stop reacting (yeah right, that'll totally happen) to losses with such a panic when so many teams look mediocre or worse right now and nobody saw Carolina going 9-0 without any receiving help and nobody saw Minnesota starting 7-2 so, who's to say that Cincinnati won't completely choke their division away? or who's to say that Dallas won't win the NFC East? The league is more unpredictable than ever on a week-to-week basis with so much parity in the NFL that I still like my preseason choices of Green Bay and Seattle in the NFC Championship Game and I'm sticking with it until one of them has seven losses. 

Yaters gonna Yate. It's T.J. time, Houston!

This week the chaos continues as Matt Hasselbeck, Case Keenum, T.J. Yates, Blaine "Yo Gabba" Gabbert, Brock Osweiler and Mark Sanchez are all in line to start which is incredible on it's own. Thursday Night features the classic AFC South rivalry between the Titans and Jaguars, set your DVR's accordingly. The early Sunday games include the return of Tony Romo against Nick's Miami Dolphins and Osweiler's first career start versus ex-Bronco Head Coach John Fox and his improving Chicago Bears. The 3:00 slate features three division rivalries including receiver-needy San Diego versus "Who needs receivers?" Kansas City and the first game between 7-2 Minnesota and 6-3 Green Bay as they begin an epic battle for first and a first-round bye come playoff time. Bye Week absentees include Eli Manning, Odell Beckham Jr., Ben Roethlisberger, DeAngelo Williams, Antonio Brown, Johnny Manziel, Drew Brees, Mark Ingram and Brandin Cooks. Five 6-4 teams enter and a maximum of three 7-4 teams (not including a potentially 7-4 Spider 2 Y Banana if I lose) leave this week as the Mopey Team of Sadness faces Thee Chowhounds and Sneen fires up his machine as he tries to blow up the Moon. Alec will beat J-Tiff unless the Cutler-defender (not that there's anything wrong with that) forgets to set his lineup. Lastly, Scott's knees are weak and palms are sweaty as he needs this win against Cole's Show Stoppers more than I need a plate of mom's spaghetti right now (I'm hungry, I should take a break from this). There's still plenty of movement to take place in the standings and if there's one thing this week's upsets of Green Bay, Cincinnati and Denver has proven, it's that we don't know shit yet.

2015 Scoring Leaders

QB

Tom Brady 217 (TODD)

Aaron Rodgers 184 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Drew Brees 158 (SNEEN)

Philip Rivers 138 (MOON)

Matt Ryan 138 (SWANSON)

Russell Wilson 136 (SILKA)

Eli Manning 113 (WALTERS)
Andrew Luck 112 (ZURAWSKI)

Carson Palmer 102 (ASCHEBROOK)

Cam Newton 101 (TIFFANY)
Tyrod Taylor 61 (ASCHEBROOK)
Peyton Manning 57 (TIFFANY)
Blake Bortles 46 (TODD/ASCHEBROOK SR./SWANSON)
Sam Bradford 40 (MOON)
Derek Carr 30 (ZURAWSKI)
Andy Dalton 23 (WALTERS)
Ben Roethlisberger 23 (WALTERS)
Ryan Tannehill 19 (ASCHEBROOK/ZURAWSKI)
Colin Kaepernick 13 (SNEEN)
Alex Smith 13 (ZURAWSKI)
Tony Romo 6 (WALTERS)

RB

Devonta Freeman 199 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Mark Ingram 159 (ZURAWSKI)
Lamar Miller 151 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK)
Adrian Peterson 151 (MOON)
Danny Woodhead 143 (TIFFANY)
Chris Ivory 129 (WALTERS)
DeMarco Murray 129 (SNEEN)
Matt Forte 115 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Justin Forsett 112 (SNEEN)
Todd Gurley 105 (TODD)
LeSean McCoy 100 (WALTERS)
Jamaal Charles 96 (ASCHEBROOK)
Jonathan Stewart 95 (TIFFANY)
Doug Martin 93 (SWANSON)
Latavius Murray 83 (MOON)
Marshawn Lynch 79 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK)
DeAngelo Williams 75 (SILKA)
Arian Foster 73 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)
Carlos Hyde 73 (TODD)
Jeremy Langford 61 (WALTERS)
Dion Lewis 58 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Charcandrick West 51 (TODD)
Jeremy Hill 49 (MOON)
T.J. Yeldon 45 (SNEEN)
Frank Gore 44 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Eddie Lacy 42 (SILKA)
Darren McFadden 39 (ASCHEBROOK)
Giovani Bernard 38 (ZURAWSKI)
Melvin Gordon 36 (WALTERS)
C.J. Anderson 34 (TIFFANY)
Duke Johnson Jr. 33 (TODD)
Ameer Abdullah 26 (TODD)
Isaiah Crowell 23 (SILKA)
Theo Riddick 21 (WALTERS)
Shane Vereen 20 (SNEEN)
Chris Johnson 18 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)
Andre Ellington 17 (SILKA)
Karlos Williams 16 (ASCHEBROOK)
LeGarrette Blount 15 (ZURAWSKI)
James Starks 15 (TODD)
Alfred Morris 14 (SILKA)
Joseph Randle 13 (ASCHEBROOK)
Branden Oliver 12 (TODD)
Antonio Andrews 11 (SWANSON)
Ryan Mathews 11 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Tevin Coleman 9 (ZURAWSKI)
Rashad Jennings 7 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
David Johson 6 (SILKA)
Darren Sproles 6 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Alfred Blue 5 (ZURAWSKI)
Lance Dunbar 5 (SWANSON)
Bishop Sankey 4 (WALTERS)
Matt Jones 1 (TODD)

WR

Antonio Brown 221 (SNEEN)

Julio Jones 219 (TODD)

DeAndre Hopkins 203 (ZURAWSKI)

Odell Beckham Jr. 193 (WALTERS)

Julian Edelman 168 (SILKA)

Keenan Allen 157 (TIFFANY)

Jarvis Landry 154 (ZURAWSKI)

Demaryius Thomas 151 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)

A.J. Green 149 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)

Calvin Johnson 139 (SILKA)

Larry Fitzgerald 131 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK)

Emmanuel Sanders 130 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Randall Cobb 125 (TODD)

T.Y. Hilton 106 (WALTERS)

Allen Robinson 98 (MOON)

Alshon Jeffery 97 (SWANSON)

Brandon Marshall 95 (MOON)

Jordan Matthews 85 (SNEEN)

Mike Evans 78 (MOON)

Brandin Cooks 77 (TODD)

Steve Smith Sr. 77 (SNEEN)

Rishard Matthews 68 (ASCHEBROOK/TIFFANY)

John Brown 60 (MOON)

Donte Moncrief 58 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Eric Decker 52 (SNEEN)

Pierre Garcon 48 (ZURAWSKI)

Amari Cooper 46 (SWANSON)

Golden Tate 44 (ASCHEBROOK/ZURAWSKI)

Kendall Wright 41 (TODD)

Jeremy Maclin 35 (ASCHEBROOK)

Vincent Jackson 34 (ASCHEBROOK)

Stefon Diggs 29 (ASCHEBROOK)

Malcom Floyd 26 (WALTERS)

Rueben Randle 26 (WALTERS)

Tyler Lockett 25 (SILKA)

Danny Amendola 22 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Sammy Watkins 22 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Dez Bryant 21 (ASCHEBROOK)

Martavis Bryant 20 (SNEEN)

Stevie Johnson 20 (ASCHEBROOK/ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Travis Benjamin 18 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)

Mike Wallace 18 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Davante Adams 17 (MOON)

Brandon LaFell 15 (ASCHEBROOK)
Kamar Aiken 14 (ZURAWSKI)

James Jones 14 (TODD)

Andre Johnson 11 (ZURAWSKI)

Marvin Jones 11 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Tavon Austin 10 (TIFFANY)

Torrey Smith 9 (SILKA)

Brandon Coleman 6 (ASCHEBROOK)

Marques Colston 6 (TIFFANY)

Willie Snead 5 (SWANSON)

DeSean Jackson 4 (ZURAWSKI)

Charles Johnson 4 (MOON)

Roddy White 3 (SILKA)

TE

Rob Gronkowski 174 (ZURAWSKI)

Tyler Eifert 136 (SWANSON)

Travis Kelce 115 (WALTERS)

Delanie Walker 112 (TODD)

Greg Olsen 103 (MOON)

Martellus Bennett 101 (SNEEN)

Jimmy Graham 100 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Jason Witten 100 (TIFFANY)

Gary Barnidge 75 (TIFFANY)

Antonio Gates 60 (ASCHEBROOK)

Jordan Cameron 50 (SILKA)

Zach Ertz 30 (MOON)

Charles Clay 25 (TODD/SWANSON)

Benjamin Watson 24 (ASCHEBROOK/ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Dwayne Allen 10 (ASCHEBROOK)

Jordan Reed 10 (WALTERS)

Jared Cook 9 (TODD)

Larry Donnell 8 (ZURAWSKI)

Eric Ebron 5 (ASCHEBROOK)

Kyle Rudolph 5 (ASCHEBROOK)
Austin Seferian-Jenkins 4 (ASCHEBROOK)
Vernon Davis 3 (ASCHEBROOK)

Julius Thomas 1 (SNEEN)

K

Stephen Gostkowski 111 (ASCHEBROOK)

Steven Hauschka 90 (TIFFANY)

Justin Tucker 83 (SNEEN)

Matt Bryant 68 (WALTERS)

Mason Crosby 64 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Blair Walsh 63 (MOON)

Brandon McManus 62 (SWANSON)

Chandler Catanzaro 61 (TODD)

Josh Brown 51 (ZURAWSKI)

Robbie Gould 43 (SILKA)

Dan Bailey 37 (MOON)

Matt Prater 19 (ZURAWSKI)

Cody Parkey 16 (SILKA)

Andrew Franks 14 (TODD)

Caleb Sturgis 11 (SNEEN)

Josh Lambo 9 (SWANSON)

Dustin Hopkins 7 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Dan Carpenter 5 (ASCHEBROOK)
Nick Novak 4 (WALTERS)

Kai Forbath 3 (TODD)

Adam Vinatieri -1 (SWANSON)

DF

Denver Broncos 123 (SILKA)

St. Louis Rams 83 (SNEEN)

Seattle Seahawks 78 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Carolina Panthers 72 (ZURAWSKI/SWANSON)

New England Patriots 64 (TIFFANY)

New York Jets 63 (MOON/ZURAWSKI)

Philadelphia Eagles 56 (TODD/ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Buffalo Bills 47 (WALTERS/ASCHEBROOK)

Kansas City Chiefs 43 (MOON)

Arizona Cardinals 35 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK)

Houston Texans 31 (ASCHEBROOK/WALTERS)

Atlanta Falcons 22 (SWANSON/TODD)
Pittsburgh Steelers 15 (WALTERS)

Minnesota Vikings 13 (MOON)

Cincinnati Bengals 8 (WALTERS)

Miami Dolphins 7 (TODD)

Indianapolis Colts 1 (ZURAWSKI)

Green Bay Packers -1 (TIFFANY)

Cleveland Browns -3 (ZURAWSKI)

Baltimore Ravens -4 (SWANSON/ZURAWSKI/SNEEN)

Hypothetical Standings (If the 5 highest scoring teams were winners each week)

Spider 2 Y Banana 7-3

Sneen Machine 7-3

Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds 7-3

Nick's Mopey Team of Sadness 6-4

Arian Foster's Achilles Heel 6-4

Team Moon 6-4

Show Stoppers 4-6
Bilbo Unable To Braggins 3-7
Team Tiffany 2-8

Team Silka 2-8