Week 6
Our 2nd semi-official season of blaming Cole Walters for all these #%@^#$ snakes on this #%@^#$ plane!
Current Standings
Timon Division
Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds (Father Aschebrook) 6-0 W6
Nick's Mopey Team of Sadness (Nick Zurawski) 4-2 W1
Sneen Machine (Tyler Sneen) 3-3 L2
Team Moon (Evan Moon) 2-4 W1
Bilbo Unable To Braggins (Scott Aschebrook) 1-5 L1
Pumbaa Division
Harder Better Foster Stronger (Alec Swanson) 4-2 L1
Spider 2 Y Banana (Andy Todd) 3-3 L1
Show Stoppers (Cole Walters) 3-3 W2
Team Silka (Alex Silka) 3-3 L2
Team Tiffany (Josh Tiffany) 1-5 W1
Week Six Final Scores
ASCHEBROOK SR. 154 SWANSON 130
MOON 144 TODD 106
TIFFANY 134 ASCHEBROOK 112
WALTERS 105 SNEEN 99
ZURAWSKI 142 SILKA 115
Heroes of the Week: WR DeAndre Hopkins (Zurawski), RB Devonta Freeman (Aschebrook Sr.), WR Keenan Allen (Tiffany)
ASCHEBROOK SR. 154 SWANSON 130
MOON 144 TODD 106
TIFFANY 134 ASCHEBROOK 112
WALTERS 105 SNEEN 99
ZURAWSKI 142 SILKA 115
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| AP Photo/John Bazemore back-to-back-to-back-to-back Hero of the week: RB Devonta Freeman (Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds) |
Zeros of the Week: WR Tyler Lockett (Silka), RB Melvin Gordon (Walters), DF Buffalo Bills (Walters)
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| Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images Zero of the Week: RB Melvin Gordon (Show Stoppers) |
Upcoming Week 7 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)
Spider 2 Y Banana v. Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds
Team Silka v. Sneen Machine
Show Stoppers v. Team Moon
Harder Better Foster Stronger v. Bilbo Unable To Braggins
Team Tiffany v. Nick's Mopey Team of Sadness
BYE WEEK: Green Bay Packers, Denver Broncos, Cincinnati Bengals, Chicago Bears
Thursday Game: Seattle @ San Francisco 7:25 PM
Sunday: Buffalo v. Jacksonville (@ London) 8:30 AM
Tampa Bay @ Washington NOON
Atlanta @ Tennessee NOON
New Orleans @ Indianapolis NOON
Minnesota @ Detroit NOON
Pittsburgh @ Kansas City NOON
Cleveland @ St. Louis NOON
Houston @ Miami NOON
NY Jets @ New England NOON
Oakland @ San Diego 3:05 PM
Dallas @ NY Giants 3:25 PM
Philadelphia @ Carolina 7:30 PM
Spider 2 Y Banana v. Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds
Team Silka v. Sneen Machine
Show Stoppers v. Team Moon
Harder Better Foster Stronger v. Bilbo Unable To Braggins
Team Tiffany v. Nick's Mopey Team of Sadness
BYE WEEK: Green Bay Packers, Denver Broncos, Cincinnati Bengals, Chicago Bears
Thursday Game: Seattle @ San Francisco 7:25 PM
Sunday: Buffalo v. Jacksonville (@ London) 8:30 AM
Tampa Bay @ Washington NOON
Atlanta @ Tennessee NOON
New Orleans @ Indianapolis NOON
Minnesota @ Detroit NOON
Pittsburgh @ Kansas City NOON
Cleveland @ St. Louis NOON
Houston @ Miami NOON
NY Jets @ New England NOON
Oakland @ San Diego 3:05 PM
Dallas @ NY Giants 3:25 PM
Philadelphia @ Carolina 7:30 PM
Monday: Baltimore @ Arizona 7:30 PM
Bro...
This week was one to remember as there were a record 1,241 points scored. That is an average of 124.1 points per team. Every team broke the 100 point barrier except for Sneen Machine who came up just one point short. The record for points scored by one team in a week was Spider 2 Y Banana's 166 in week one, highly aided by Carlos Hyde's one great game. Week six also saw Devonta Freeman continue one of the greatest runs in fantasy history (at least since Ladanian Tomlinson) with his fourth consecutive 30-point game. Has Devonta Freeman already clinched a place on the end-of-season MVP ballot or is this the peak on Freeman Mountain with an avalanche of Tevin Coleman just around the corner? Speaking of backup Running Backs, Eddie Lacy disappeared for various reasons (not 100% healthy, not the hot hand in this week's game) and James Starks (free agent) scored 24 points, thus crushing the heart and soul of Team Silka.
I've heard of "respecting your elders" but, aren't we going a little too easy on Aschebrook Senior? I think it's time somebody took down his 6-0 team and showed no mercy in handing him his first loss. Who does he face this week again?... Oh crap. Team Tiffany finally won a game! He is now tied with the team he just beat (1-5 Bilbo Unable To Braggins) and will look for his second win this week against Nick's Mopey Team of Sadness. Speaking of his team of sadness, I think it's time Nick turned that frown upside down as a 4-2 record is nothing to be ashamed of, especially with Andrew Luck back from his injury and the best RB apparently not named Devonta Freeman in Le'Veon Bell. Every little thing is gonna be alright, Nick. This week could also determine the fates of Team Silka and Sneen Machine as they both look to break away from being stuck in mediocrity at 3-3 records. Lastly, Cole Walters did not draft anyone with a bye week in week seven (which is unique with all of the fantasy relevant players out this week) and will be at 100% strength when facing 2-4 Team Moon, who is coming off of his once-per-month full moon weekend where his team lives up to expectation (furgin'blurgin'murgin' Philip Rivers flimmerjimmer 503 yards!). How will we all survive without the Broncos, Packers, Bengals and Bears? Find out next week on "Bye Week Blues of the Bro League".
2015 Scoring Leaders
QB
Aaron Rodgers 125 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Tom Brady 124 (TODD)
Russell Wilson 96 (SILKA)
Matt Ryan 93 (SWANSON)
Philip Rivers 74 (MOON)
Andrew Luck 68 (ZURAWSKI)
Drew Brees 59 (SNEEN)
Peyton Manning 57 (TIFFANY)
Carson Palmer 55 (ASCHEBROOK)
Eli Manning 36 (WALTERS)
Tyrod Taylor 35 (ASCHEBROOK)
Sam Bradford 27 (MOON)
Ben Roethlisberger 23 (WALTERS)
Cam Newton 19 (TIFFANY)
Blake Bortles 18 (TODD)
Andy Dalton 17 (WALTERS)
Derek Carr 13 (ZURAWSKI)
Colin Kaepernick 13 (SNEEN)
Alex Smith 13 (ZURAWSKI)
Ryan Tannehill 11 (ASCHEBROOK)
Tony Romo 6 (WALTERS)
RB
Devonta Freeman 146 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Matt Forte 105 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Mark Ingram 97 (ZURAWSKI)
Jamaal Charles 96 (ASCHEBROOK)
Danny Woodhead 84 (TIFFANY)
Le'Veon Bell 83 (ZURAWSKI)
Justin Forsett 83 (SNEEN)
Chris Ivory 79 (WALTERS)
DeMarco Murray 77 (SNEEN)
Adrian Peterson 76 (MOON)
Carlos Hyde 73 (TODD)
Latavius Murray 51 (MOON)
LeSean McCoy 50 (WALTERS)
Doug Martin 49 (SWANSON)
Jonathan Stewart 48 (TIFFANY)
Lamar Miller 47 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK)
Arian Foster 45 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)
Marshawn Lynch 40 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK)
Jeremy Hill 36 (MOON)
C.J. Anderson 34 (TIFFANY)
Eddie Lacy 33 (SILKA)
T.J. Yeldon 33 (SNEEN)
DeAngelo Williams 30 (SILKA)
Giovani Bernard 29 (ZURAWSKI)
Dion Lewis 28 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Ameer Abdullah 26 (TODD)
Melvin Gordon 26 (WALTERS)
Isaiah Crowell 23 (SILKA)
Theo Riddick 21 (WALTERS)
Frank Gore 16 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Karlos Williams 16 (ASCHEBROOK)
Todd Gurley 15 (TODD)
Alfred Morris 13 (SILKA)
Chris Johnson 12 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)
Joseph Randle 11 (ASCHEBROOK)
Tevin Coleman 9 (ZURAWSKI)
Duke Johnson Jr. 7 (TODD)
David Johnson 6 (SILKA)
Darren Sproles 6 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Alfred Blue 5 (ZURAWSKI)
Lance Dunbar 5 (SWANSON)
Bishop Sankey 4 (WALTERS)
Darren McFadden 3 (ASCHEBROOK)
Matt Jones 1 (TODD)
WR
DeAndre Hopkins 153 (ZURAWSKI)
Julio Jones 140 (TODD)
Keenan Allen 126 (TIFFANY)
Odell Beckham Jr. 108 (WALTERS)
Julian Edelman 108 (SILKA)
Antonio Brown 105 (SNEEN)
Emmanuel Sanders 105 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Larry Fitzgerald 104 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK)
A.J. Green 103 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)
Demaryius Thomas 103 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)
Calvin Johnson 93 (SILKA)
Randall Cobb 87 (TODD)
Jarvis Landry 80 (ZURAWSKI)
Jordan Matthews 76 (SNEEN)
T.Y. Hilton 73 (WALTERS)
Allen Robinson 61 (MOON)
Steve Smith Sr. 52 (SNEEN)
Donte Moncrief 45 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
John Brown 44 (MOON)
Brandon Marshall 41 (MOON)
Alshon Jeffery 40 (SWANSON)
Pierre Garcon 37 (ZURAWSKI)
Kendall Wright 35 (TODD)
Vincent Jackson 34 (ASCHEBROOK)
Mike Evans 30 (MOON)
Golden Tate 30 (ASCHEBROOK)
Malcom Floyd 26 (WALTERS)
Tyler Lockett 24 (SILKA)
Jeremy Maclin 23 (ASCHEBROOK)
Amari Cooper 22 (SWANSON)
Sammy Watkins 22 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Brandin Cooks 19 (TODD)
Mike Wallace 18 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Davante Adams 17 (MOON)
Rishard Matthews 16 (ASCHEBROOK/TIFFANY)
James Jones 14 (TODD)
Eric Decker 13 (SNEEN)
Travis Benjamin 12 (ASCHEBROOK)
Allen Hurns 11 (ASCHEBROOK)
Andre Johnson 11 (ZURAWSKI)
Tavon Austin 10 (TIFFANY)
Stevie Johnson 7 (ASCHEBROOK)
Brandon Coleman 6 (ASCHEBROOK)
Marques Colston 6 (TIFFANY)
Charles Johnson 4 (MOON)
TE
Tyler Eifert 96 (SWANSON)
Rob Gronkowski 94 (ZURAWSKI)
Travis Kelce 79 (WALTERS)
Jimmy Graham 74 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Martellus Bennett 72 (SNEEN)
Jason Witten 65 (TIFFANY)
Greg Olsen 52 (MOON)
Delanie Walker 50 (TODD)
Antonio Gates 48 (ASCHEBROOK)
Jordan Cameron 39 (SILKA)
Charles Clay 20 (TODD)
Zach Ertz 19 (MOON)
Gary Barnidge 18 (TIFFANY)
Dwayne Allen 10 (ASCHEBROOK)
Jared Cook 9 (TODD)
Larry Donnell 8 (ZURAWSKI)
Kyle Rudolph 5 (ASCHEBROOK)
Austin Seferian-Jenkins 4 (ASCHEBROOK)
K
Stephen Gostkowski 66 (ASCHEBROOK)
Steven Hauschka 65 (TIFFANY)
Justin Tucker 57 (SNEEN)
Mason Crosby 51 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Matt Bryant 46 (WALTERS)
Brandon McManus 44 (SWANSON)
Dan Bailey 37 (MOON)
Chandler Catanzaro 29 (TODD)
Robbie Gould 21 (SILKA)
Matt Prater 19 (ZURAWSKI)
Cody Parkey 16 (SILKA)
Andrew Franks 14 (TODD)
Blair Walsh 12 (MOON)
Dan Carpenter 5 (ASCHEBROOK)
Josh Brown 1 (ZURAWSKI)
Adam Vinatieri -1 (SWANSON)
DF
Denver Broncos 105 (SILKA)
Seattle Seahawks 59 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
New York Jets 51 (MOON/ZURAWSKI)
Carolina Panthers 49 (ZURAWSKI/SWANSON)
St. Louis Rams 43 (SNEEN)
New England Patriots 33 (TIFFANY)
Philadelphia Eagles 33 (TODD)
Buffalo Bills 30 (WALTERS)
Kansas City Chiefs 17 (MOON)
Arizona Cardinals 14 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK)
Atlanta Falcons 13 (SWANSON)
Houston Texans 12 (ASCHEBROOK)
Miami Dolphins 7 (TODD)
Indianapolis Colts 1 (ZURAWSKI)
Green Bay Packers -1 (TIFFANY)
Cleveland Browns -3 (ZURAWSKI)
Baltimore Ravens -4 (SWANSON/ZURAWSKI/SNEEN)
Hypothetical Standings (If the 5 highest scoring teams were winners each week)
Sneen Machine 4-2
Team Silka 2-4
I've heard of "respecting your elders" but, aren't we going a little too easy on Aschebrook Senior? I think it's time somebody took down his 6-0 team and showed no mercy in handing him his first loss. Who does he face this week again?... Oh crap. Team Tiffany finally won a game! He is now tied with the team he just beat (1-5 Bilbo Unable To Braggins) and will look for his second win this week against Nick's Mopey Team of Sadness. Speaking of his team of sadness, I think it's time Nick turned that frown upside down as a 4-2 record is nothing to be ashamed of, especially with Andrew Luck back from his injury and the best RB apparently not named Devonta Freeman in Le'Veon Bell. Every little thing is gonna be alright, Nick. This week could also determine the fates of Team Silka and Sneen Machine as they both look to break away from being stuck in mediocrity at 3-3 records. Lastly, Cole Walters did not draft anyone with a bye week in week seven (which is unique with all of the fantasy relevant players out this week) and will be at 100% strength when facing 2-4 Team Moon, who is coming off of his once-per-month full moon weekend where his team lives up to expectation (furgin'blurgin'murgin' Philip Rivers flimmerjimmer 503 yards!). How will we all survive without the Broncos, Packers, Bengals and Bears? Find out next week on "Bye Week Blues of the Bro League".
2015 Scoring Leaders
QB
Aaron Rodgers 125 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Tom Brady 124 (TODD)
Russell Wilson 96 (SILKA)
Matt Ryan 93 (SWANSON)
Philip Rivers 74 (MOON)
Andrew Luck 68 (ZURAWSKI)
Drew Brees 59 (SNEEN)
Peyton Manning 57 (TIFFANY)
Carson Palmer 55 (ASCHEBROOK)
Eli Manning 36 (WALTERS)
Tyrod Taylor 35 (ASCHEBROOK)
Sam Bradford 27 (MOON)
Ben Roethlisberger 23 (WALTERS)
Cam Newton 19 (TIFFANY)
Blake Bortles 18 (TODD)
Andy Dalton 17 (WALTERS)
Derek Carr 13 (ZURAWSKI)
Colin Kaepernick 13 (SNEEN)
Alex Smith 13 (ZURAWSKI)
Ryan Tannehill 11 (ASCHEBROOK)
Tony Romo 6 (WALTERS)
RB
Devonta Freeman 146 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Matt Forte 105 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Mark Ingram 97 (ZURAWSKI)
Jamaal Charles 96 (ASCHEBROOK)
Danny Woodhead 84 (TIFFANY)
Le'Veon Bell 83 (ZURAWSKI)
Justin Forsett 83 (SNEEN)
Chris Ivory 79 (WALTERS)
DeMarco Murray 77 (SNEEN)
Adrian Peterson 76 (MOON)
Carlos Hyde 73 (TODD)
Latavius Murray 51 (MOON)
LeSean McCoy 50 (WALTERS)
Doug Martin 49 (SWANSON)
Jonathan Stewart 48 (TIFFANY)
Lamar Miller 47 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK)
Arian Foster 45 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)
Marshawn Lynch 40 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK)
Jeremy Hill 36 (MOON)
C.J. Anderson 34 (TIFFANY)
Eddie Lacy 33 (SILKA)
T.J. Yeldon 33 (SNEEN)
DeAngelo Williams 30 (SILKA)
Giovani Bernard 29 (ZURAWSKI)
Dion Lewis 28 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Ameer Abdullah 26 (TODD)
Melvin Gordon 26 (WALTERS)
Isaiah Crowell 23 (SILKA)
Theo Riddick 21 (WALTERS)
Frank Gore 16 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Karlos Williams 16 (ASCHEBROOK)
Todd Gurley 15 (TODD)
Alfred Morris 13 (SILKA)
Chris Johnson 12 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)
Joseph Randle 11 (ASCHEBROOK)
Tevin Coleman 9 (ZURAWSKI)
Duke Johnson Jr. 7 (TODD)
David Johnson 6 (SILKA)
Darren Sproles 6 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Alfred Blue 5 (ZURAWSKI)
Lance Dunbar 5 (SWANSON)
Bishop Sankey 4 (WALTERS)
Darren McFadden 3 (ASCHEBROOK)
Matt Jones 1 (TODD)
WR
DeAndre Hopkins 153 (ZURAWSKI)
Julio Jones 140 (TODD)
Keenan Allen 126 (TIFFANY)
Odell Beckham Jr. 108 (WALTERS)
Julian Edelman 108 (SILKA)
Antonio Brown 105 (SNEEN)
Emmanuel Sanders 105 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Larry Fitzgerald 104 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK)
A.J. Green 103 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)
Demaryius Thomas 103 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)
Calvin Johnson 93 (SILKA)
Randall Cobb 87 (TODD)
Jarvis Landry 80 (ZURAWSKI)
Jordan Matthews 76 (SNEEN)
T.Y. Hilton 73 (WALTERS)
Allen Robinson 61 (MOON)
Steve Smith Sr. 52 (SNEEN)
Donte Moncrief 45 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
John Brown 44 (MOON)
Brandon Marshall 41 (MOON)
Alshon Jeffery 40 (SWANSON)
Pierre Garcon 37 (ZURAWSKI)
Kendall Wright 35 (TODD)
Vincent Jackson 34 (ASCHEBROOK)
Mike Evans 30 (MOON)
Golden Tate 30 (ASCHEBROOK)
Malcom Floyd 26 (WALTERS)
Tyler Lockett 24 (SILKA)
Jeremy Maclin 23 (ASCHEBROOK)
Amari Cooper 22 (SWANSON)
Sammy Watkins 22 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Brandin Cooks 19 (TODD)
Mike Wallace 18 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Davante Adams 17 (MOON)
Rishard Matthews 16 (ASCHEBROOK/TIFFANY)
James Jones 14 (TODD)
Eric Decker 13 (SNEEN)
Travis Benjamin 12 (ASCHEBROOK)
Allen Hurns 11 (ASCHEBROOK)
Andre Johnson 11 (ZURAWSKI)
Tavon Austin 10 (TIFFANY)
Stevie Johnson 7 (ASCHEBROOK)
Brandon Coleman 6 (ASCHEBROOK)
Marques Colston 6 (TIFFANY)
Charles Johnson 4 (MOON)
TE
Tyler Eifert 96 (SWANSON)
Rob Gronkowski 94 (ZURAWSKI)
Travis Kelce 79 (WALTERS)
Jimmy Graham 74 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Martellus Bennett 72 (SNEEN)
Jason Witten 65 (TIFFANY)
Greg Olsen 52 (MOON)
Delanie Walker 50 (TODD)
Antonio Gates 48 (ASCHEBROOK)
Jordan Cameron 39 (SILKA)
Charles Clay 20 (TODD)
Zach Ertz 19 (MOON)
Gary Barnidge 18 (TIFFANY)
Dwayne Allen 10 (ASCHEBROOK)
Jared Cook 9 (TODD)
Larry Donnell 8 (ZURAWSKI)
Kyle Rudolph 5 (ASCHEBROOK)
Austin Seferian-Jenkins 4 (ASCHEBROOK)
K
Stephen Gostkowski 66 (ASCHEBROOK)
Steven Hauschka 65 (TIFFANY)
Justin Tucker 57 (SNEEN)
Mason Crosby 51 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Matt Bryant 46 (WALTERS)
Brandon McManus 44 (SWANSON)
Dan Bailey 37 (MOON)
Chandler Catanzaro 29 (TODD)
Robbie Gould 21 (SILKA)
Matt Prater 19 (ZURAWSKI)
Cody Parkey 16 (SILKA)
Andrew Franks 14 (TODD)
Blair Walsh 12 (MOON)
Dan Carpenter 5 (ASCHEBROOK)
Josh Brown 1 (ZURAWSKI)
Adam Vinatieri -1 (SWANSON)
DF
Denver Broncos 105 (SILKA)
Seattle Seahawks 59 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
New York Jets 51 (MOON/ZURAWSKI)
Carolina Panthers 49 (ZURAWSKI/SWANSON)
St. Louis Rams 43 (SNEEN)
New England Patriots 33 (TIFFANY)
Philadelphia Eagles 33 (TODD)
Buffalo Bills 30 (WALTERS)
Kansas City Chiefs 17 (MOON)
Arizona Cardinals 14 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK)
Atlanta Falcons 13 (SWANSON)
Houston Texans 12 (ASCHEBROOK)
Miami Dolphins 7 (TODD)
Indianapolis Colts 1 (ZURAWSKI)
Green Bay Packers -1 (TIFFANY)
Cleveland Browns -3 (ZURAWSKI)
Baltimore Ravens -4 (SWANSON/ZURAWSKI/SNEEN)
Hypothetical Standings (If the 5 highest scoring teams were winners each week)
Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds 6-0
Harder Better Foster Stronger 5-1
Nick's Mopey Team of Sadness 4-2
Spider 2 Y Banana 3-3
Team Moon 3-3
Bilbo Unable To Braggins 1-5
Team Tiffany 1-5
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