Wisconsin Rapids Bro League
Our tenth official season of blaming Cole Walters for an all-Shooter McGavin Division finale.
Bro...
Perhaps we underestimated the competitiveness of the Shooter McGavin Division. After a full regular season of my needless slurping of the #1 seed Nathaniel Hoefs' performance throughout the year, he came up short for the second consecutive season. Arguably, the end result of his short-lived postseason run was through no fault of his own. In any other given week, 161.14 points is enough to catch a dub. This was no ordinary week. What could possibly stop the WRBL favorite to win it all in his third-highest scoring week? The 4th-seeded Caleb Williams Nail Polish's highest scoring week. QB1 Lamar Jackson's 36.1 took no one by surprise and RB James Conner dropping a season-high 30.8 was reasonable enough as he has a game or two like that every season. What was amazing about Brett's team pulling off the "upset" of the week was that those two occurrences coincided with the Chiefs defense/special teams dropping 20 fantasy points against the dog-shit Browns and WRBL WR4 Amon-Ra St. Brown getting a season-high 37.3 in a Lions' loss. With Nathaniel making every possible right decision outside of starting WR Terry McLaurin (NFL's WR5, 26.3 this week on Hoefs' bench), there was no possible Dr. Strange multiverse where he was avoiding losing the highest combined scoring match of the 2024 Bro League season. Receivers Ja'Marr Chase, A.J. Brown and Malik Nabers combined for 67.6 points and have a very real opportunity at being the first receiver trio to hit 200 points on a fantasy team in WRBL history. It's not like keeping Scary Terry McLaurin on the bench was unheard of coming into the week.
In our other playoff semifinal, I may have had the higher seed through a technicality by winning the Shooter McGavin Division but, Cole still went 9-5 in the Steven Nett Division. By scoring 150.86 this week and making all of the correct moves based on his roster construction (and a lackluster bench), the 96ers proved that they earned their postseason berth despite a hypothetical loss during the highest scoring week of the season. Despite having the awful, 3-11 Jaguars as an opponent, I don't believe anybody else would have been bold enough to start a "Quadbox" of Jets after their disastrous season. Cole started QB Aaron Rodgers, WR's Davante Adams and Garrett Wilson plus the New York D/ST to the tune of 93.46 points. The rest of Colieveland combined for 57.4 as the running backs only accumulated 20 points with Saquon Barkley (9.4) limited by soreness and Joe Mixon (10.6) limited by being washed. Both of these running backs simultaneously hitting a wall in the fantasy playoffs is almost as surprising as that slick spot I hit on a right turn this week that sent me into a railroad crossing sign. Momentum is wildly unpredictable. T-o-d-d Todd To Go had our own momentum building behind red-hot Bengals RB Chase Brown, who helped carry the lead in scoring among my trio of Running backs with 26.3 points, his sixth consecutive game with over 19 fantasy points. If it weren't for RB Breece Hall getting the game-winning goal-line carry against Jacksonville over all of Cole's Jets, I don't think I'd have won what ended up being my highest-scoring week of 2024. It probably also helped that neither the Lions nor Bills could stop one another defensively, settling for a 48-42 shootout that saw Jared Goff throw for close to 500 yards, 5 TDs and zero turnovers. Now, it's on to the season finale... our Wisconsin Rapids Bro League Championship between a first-timer in Brett Weinfurter and somebody that hasn't won in nine years, Andy Todd.
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Getty Images
Lamar's five touchdowns for 36.1 points boosted his season average to 25.5 PPG, propelling Brett into the championship. |
Should I start TE T.J. Hockenson out of revenge after Brett cut him two weeks into his IR stint? Will Travis Kelce start after Brett accused me of being a "Swiftie" on draft day? Will the Steelers defense look like the big bad Steel Curtain against the big bad Ravens offense? That second Saturday game could really define how this all goes down but before I preview the tenth annual Bro League Championship, a quick roundup of the Sacko results is needed. The league's one 7-7 team left out of the postseason (Stoltzya's Electric Orcas) dropped a season-high 173.9 because that's just how crazy week 15 got. After last season's Sacko secured eighth place for Stoltz, he was not going back to that hell hole and made damn sure of it. Every player on the Electric Orcas scored in the double-digits, a first in the 2024 WRBL record books that were re-written this weekend. Of course, this wasn't necessary as Alec's run as a Tax Paying Homeowner has needed a lot of internal repairs this season. Ahh, the joys of home/team ownership. In the other Sack-off (*pause*), Josh Allen got engaged to actress/singer Hailee Steinfeld and turned into Goku. Nick now wishes he could invent a time machine, go back and force all of his players to agree to a mass group-wedding this preseason. Allen turned in another heroic performance this week with 41.28 points that he needed every bit of to upset the Lions 48-42. Other than that, Zurawski's only lifeline for points this week was waiver wonder WR Jerry Jeudy, who dropped a nice 21.8 despite his NFL team losing 21-7. Nick did have a Benchwarmer of the Week, but that was QB Baker Mayfield... Allen's backup and the lesser choice by 13.26 points. Even with all of the underperfomances, Nick still held a 28-point lead over Jaime Sparkes headed into the Monday Night Football doubleheader. Alas, a duo of Viking greats (WR Justin Jefferson and RB Aaron Jones) combined for 38.9 and a mini-upset that should ultimately be the decisive tiebreaker, once-and-for-all settling who gets the sixth-seed... Unless Sparky beats Gabe this week. It'll be Nick versus Alec for the Sacko Bowl, Nick favored by a minor amount despite winning their previous two matches.
Now for some big boy business in our 2024 Bro League Championship Preview. Here's a look at both PROJECTED lineups...
T-o-d-d Todd To Go (Andy Todd) 8-7
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
QB - Jared Goff (The weekly "Goff or Goof?" battle rolls on as Detroit's QB looks to outscore probable TTTG backup Caleb Williams @ CHI, their first match-up favored Williams by 9.2)
RB - Chase Brown (facing 5th-best RB defense in CLE, averaging 23.2 PPG in past 3 weeks)
RB - Bijan Robinson (WRBL RB4, faces Giants w/new rookie starting QB Michael Penix Jr.)
WR - Mike Evans (needs 251 yards in 3 weeks to get 11th consecutive 1,000-yard season, @DAL on SNF)
WR - Nico Collins (@ 13-1 KC on Sat., averages 19.3 PPG, 2 TDs bailed out 17-yard showing in Week 15)
FLEX - RB Breece Hall (WRBL RB9, only had 11 touches in first game back from knee injury in W15, at home vs. Rams)
TE - Trey McBride (WRBL TE3, ZERO receiving TDs, faces very bad Panthers)
K - Jake Bates (WRBL K2, @CHI, second outdoor game of the season!, has two missed FGs & 1 XP all year)
D/ST - Pittsburgh Steelers (WRBL DF1, @BAL on Sat., 9 points in previous match, Ravens are #1 offense against fantasy defenses)
Caleb Williams Nail Polish (Brett Weinfurter) 8-7
QB - Lamar Jackson (Undisputed QB1, vs. PIT on Sat., season-low 14.88 in previous match)
RB - James Conner (@CAR, 32nd in defense against RBs, averaging 26.5 PPG over past two weeks)
RB - D'Andre Swift (vs. DET, 9.4 in previous match, revenge game?)
WR - Amon-Ra St. Brown (WRBL WR4, @CHI, plays with opposing QB Goff)
WR - Zay Flowers (vs. PIT on Sat., needs 84 yards for 1st 1,000-yd. season, 11.9 in first match)
FLEX - WR Jordan Addison (@SEA, averaging 23.05 over past 4 weeks)
TE - George Kittle (WRBL TE1, @MIA, would prefer him to all 3 of my TEs)
K - Jake Elliott (@WAS, 6 pts. in first match)
D/ST - Kansas City Chiefs (vs. HOU on Sat., season-high 20 points last week, Houston O-line looks very bad)
It looks to be a battle of two teams going with what got us here though the waiver wire is tempting as always with some less than favorable match-ups. Best of luck to Brett and congratulations in advance on remembering to set a lineup. Nobody saw this being the championship even two weeks ago and who knows, maybe I'm one ayahuasca retreat away from this being the final Bro League title game. Speaking of which, get started on your rough drafts of those Aaron Rodgers Netflix documentary papers, Alec and Nick. They're due before WRBL 2025 if that day ever comes. The bell doesn't dismiss you, I dismiss you and this edition of the Bro League weekly review is dismissed.
Week Fifteen Final Scores
#4 BRETT defeats #1 Hoefs 174.8-161.14
#2 ANDY defeats #3 Cole 179.26-150.86
#5 Gabe defeats #8 ALEC 173.9-105.54
#7 Sparky defeats #6 NICK 127.64-117.08
Heroes of the Week: WR Davante Adams (42.8, Cole), QB Josh Allen (41.28, Nick), QB Jared Goff (41.06, Andy)
Waiver Wonders: RB Tyjae Spears (27.2), WR Rashod Bateman (23), WR Jalen Coker (21)
Benchwarmers of the Week: WR Brian Thomas Jr. (32.5, Andy), QB Baker Mayfield (28.02, Nick), WR DeVonta Smith (28, Gabe)
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USA TODAY Sports
Hero of the Week: QB Jared Goff (T-o-d-d Todd To Go) |
Upcoming Week 16 Schedule for both WRBL and NFL (in CST)
CHAMPIONSHIP: #2 Andy Todd v. #4 Brett Weinfurter
The Backward Lateral Bowl (3rd place): #1 Nathaniel Hoefs v. #3 Cole Walters
The Tackle For Loss-o Bowl (5th place): #5 Gabe Stoltz v. #7 Jaime Sparkes
SACKO BOWL: #6 Nick Zurawski v. #8 Alec Swanson
Thursday @ 7:15 PM: Denver @ LA Chargers
SATURDAY GAMES: Noon - Houston @ Kansas City
3:30 PM - Pittsburgh @ Baltimore
Sunday @ NOON: NY Giants @ Atlanta
Detroit @ Chicago (QUADBOX)
Arizona @ Carolina (QUADBOX)
LA Rams @ NY Jets (QUADBOX)
Philadelphia @ Washington (QUADBOX)
Cleveland @ Cincinnati
Tennessee @ Indianapolis
Sunday @ 3:05 PM: Minnesota @ Seattle
Sunday @ 3:25 PM: New England @ Buffalo
Jacksonville @ Las Vegas
San Francisco @ Miami
Sunday @ 7:20 PM: Tampa Bay @ Dallas
Monday @ 7:15 PM: New Orleans @ Green Bay
Scoring Leaders
QB
Lamar Jackson 357.5 (Brett)
Josh Allen 344.94 (Nick)
Jalen Hurts 310.58 (Gabe)
Joe Burrow 267.38 (Hoefs)
Jayden Daniels 215.74 (Sparky)
Jared Goff 174.9 (Andy)
Brock Purdy 137.62 (Alec)
Jordan Love 134.26 (Cole)
Sam Darnold 111.96 (Alec)
Aaron Rodgers 81.88 (Cole)
Tua Tagovailoa 67.26 (Andy/Cole)
Caleb Williams 61.38 (Andy)
Patrick Mahomes 58.56 (Sparky)
C.J. Stroud 53.48 (Hoefs)
Kyler Murray 24.1 (Gabe)
Drake Maye 20.84 (Andy)
Baker Mayfield 18.66 (Nick)
Kirk Cousins 17.78 (Cole)
Justin Herbert 13.72 (Brett)
Derek Carr 7.98 (Alec)
RB
Saquon Barkley 309.4 (Cole)
Alvin Kamara 265.3 (Sparky)
Jahmyr Gibbs 265.2 (Gabe)
Bijan Robinson 261.5 (Andy)
Derrick Henry 250.3 (Nick)
Kyren Williams 224.8 (Alec)
James Conner 224.4 (Brett)
De'Von Achane 211.5 (Hoefs)
Breece Hall 202.4 (Andy)
Josh Jacobs 199.3 (Alec)
Joe Mixon 195.7 (Cole)
James Cook 178.8 (Hoefs)
Aaron Jones 173 (Sparky)
Jonathan Taylor 152.3 (Nick)
D'Andre Swift 147.8 (Brett)
Kenneth Walker 133.1 (Hoefs)
David Montgomery 115.72 (Cole)
Chuba Hubbard 113 (Sparky)
J.K. Dobbins 105.7 (Alec)
Jordan Mason 103.1 (Nick)
Tyrone Tracy Jr. 95 (Gabe)
Kareem Hunt 91.3 (Gabe/Brett)
Brian Robinson Jr. 78.2 (Gabe)
Chase Brown 69.6 (Andy)
Travis Etienne 58.2 (Cole)
Rico Dowdle 51.3 (Gabe)
Rachaad White 51.1 (Nick)
Christian McCaffrey 47.8 (Nick)
Najee Harris 45.7 (Sparky)
Tony Pollard 45.1 (Cole)
Zach Charbonnet 38.3 (Andy)
Rhamondre Stevenson 37.5 (Alec)
Isiah Pacheco 31.9 (Gabe)
Bucky Irving 30.3 (Alec)
Zack Moss 17.8 (Hoefs)
Jerome Ford 17.4 (Hoefs)
Jaylen Warren 15.4 (Andy)
Cam Akers 12.7 (Cole)
Raheem Mostert 9.4 (Brett)
Nick Chubb 9.3 (Nick)
Trey Sermon 5.9 (Nick)
Javonte Williams 4.6 (Andy)
Ty Johnson 3.4 (Hoefs)
Audric Estime 1.5 (Andy)
Dare Ogunbowale 1.1 (Andy)
WR
Ja'Marr Chase 335.8 (Hoefs)
Justin Jefferson 255.48 (Sparky)
CeeDee Lamb 245.9 (Gabe)
Amon-Ra St. Brown 224.58 (Brett)
Garrett Wilson 213.8 (Cole)
Malik Nabers 191 (Hoefs)
A.J. Brown 180.6 (Hoefs)
Drake London 180 (Brett)
Mike Evans 175.5 (Andy)
Nico Collins 173.9 (Andy)
Cooper Kupp 165.7 (Nick)
Puka Nacua 152 (Alec)
D.J. Moore 140.2 (Nick)
Courtland Sutton 118.28 (Sparky)
Chris Godwin 115.5 (Cole)
Tyreek Hill 115.3 (Alec)
Davante Adams 113.6 (Sparky/Cole)
DK Metcalf 105.5 (Alec)
Jordan Addison 101.8 (Brett)
Zay Flowers 97.3 (Brett)
Deebo Samuel 91.7 (Andy)
Ladd McConkey 77.3 (Gabe)
Jayden Reed 72.8 (Sparky)
Marvin Harrison Jr. 72.3 (Brett)
Stefon Diggs 68.1 (Gabe)
Chris Olave 58 (Gabe)
Tank Dell 53.1 (Alec)
Jaylen Waddle 53.1 (Cole)
Tee Higgins 52.7 (Sparky)
Jaxon Smith-Njigba 51 (Alec)
Khalil Shakir 49.3 (Cole)
Amari Cooper 45.9 (Nick)
Terry McLaurin 44.5 (Hoefs)
Jerry Jeudy 39.2 (Nick)
Brandon Aiyuk 38.2 (Cole)
Josh Downs 37.1 (Cole)
Rashee Rice 29.1 (Andy)
Diontae Johnson 25.7 (Gabe)
DeVonta Smith 22.6 (Gabe)
Brian Thomas Jr. 19.8 (Andy)
Jameson Williams 18.9 (Alec)
Michael Pittman Jr. 18.7 (Alec/Andy/Cole)
Romeo Doubs 17 (Andy)
Quentin Johnston 15.8 (Gabe)
Calvin Ridley 12.9 (Nick)
Xavier Worthy 11.8 (Hoefs)
George Pickens 11.4 (Brett)
Wan'Dale Robinson 10 (Andy)
Tyler Lockett 8.5 (Nick)
Rashid Shaheed 8.3 (Nick)
Christian Watson 7.9 (Andy)
Rome Odunze 7.3 (Sparky)
DeAndre Hopkins 5.9 (Nick)
Jauan Jennings 5.1 (Nick)
TE
George Kittle 179.6 (Brett)
Brock Bowers 176.7 (Cole)
Trey McBride 115.9 (Andy)
Travis Kelce 112.9 (Andy)
Kyle Pitts 111.6 (Alec)
Mark Andrews 92.1 (Gabe)
David Njoku 82.4 (Hoefs/Nick)
Dalton Kincaid 81.6 (Sparky)
Sam LaPorta 67.4 (Nick)
Dallas Goedert 52.9 (Hoefs/Alec)
Tucker Kraft 50.5 (Hoefs)
Jake Ferguson 43.9 (Gabe)
Cade Otton 40.2 (Hoefs)
Hunter Henry 36.2 (Sparky)
Jonnu Smith 33.2 (Hoefs)
Zach Ertz 15.5 (Hoefs/Brett)
Tyler Conklin 11.5 (Cole)
Evan Engram 11.5 (Cole)
Taysom Hill 9.7 (Nick)
Dawson Knox 8 (Brett)
Mike Gesicki 7 (Nick)
Isaiah Likely 5 (Brett)
Will Dissly 3.9 (Sparky)
T.J. Hockenson 3.3 (Andy)
K
Ka'imi Fairbairn 154 (Hoefs)
Jake Bates 130 (Andy)
Brandon Aubrey 116 (Brett/Cole)
Justin Tucker 104 (Alec)
Harrison Butker 80 (Sparky)
Evan McPherson 80 (Nick)
Jake Moody 71 (Cole)
Younghoe Koo 48 (Gabe)
Brandon McManus 44 (Sparky)
Chase McLaughlin 43 (Gabe)
Cameron Dicker 39 (Cole/Alec)
Jason Sanders 39 (Nick)
Austin Seibert 38 (Brett)
Jake Elliott 30 (Gabe/Brett)
Chris Boswell 28 (Sparky/Hoefs)
Cam Little 21 (Cole)
Spencer Shrader 13 (Brett)
Blake Grupe 1 (Andy)
DF
Pittsburgh Steelers 108 (Andy)
San Francisco 49ers 73 (Sparky)
Minnesota Vikings 58 (Hoefs)
Denver Broncos 55 (Cole/Gabe)
Philadelphia Eagles 54 (Nick)
New York Jets 51 (Hoefs/Cole)
Kansas City Chiefs 47 (Brett)
Cleveland Browns 45 (Brett)
Los Angeles Chargers 40 (Nick/Alec)
Chicago Bears 34 (Alec)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 28 (Cole)
Buffalo Bills 28 (Alec/Sparky)
Dallas Cowboys 26 (Gabe)
New Orleans Saints 25 (Nick/Cole/Gabe)
Miami Dolphins 24 (Cole/Nick)
Cincinnati Bengals 23 (Andy/Gabe)
Houston Texans 23 (Sparky/Cole)
Baltimore Ravens 17 (Alec/Nick)
Detroit Lions 12 (Andy/Nick)
New England Patriots 12 (Cole)
Las Vegas Raiders 10 (Nick)
Washington Commanders 10 (Andy/Alec)
Arizona Cardinals 4 (Alec)
Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose, no divisions)
Hoefs 9-6
Cole 9-6
Andy 9-6
Brett 9-6
Nick 8-7
Sparky 6-9
Gabe 5-10
Alec 5-10
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