Wisconsin Rapids Bro League
Our tenth official season of blaming Cole Walters for taking over Jammers on Friday.
Bro...
One more week to the Bro League regular season for 2024 and the fates of many teams have yet to be fully determined. Cole Walters may have taken first all by his lonesome and clinched a postseason spot BUT, he's still 66.54 points behind Hoefs and a reversal of fortunes this week could see The Van Buren Boys in the one-seed. Nick has been eliminated from playoff contention after his third consecutive loss came at the hands of Gabe's third consecutive win. This means that the official INs are the 96ers and the VBB while the OUTs are Tua Lipa and Tax Paying Homeowners. Two playoff spots remain for four possible teams. The team with the lowest odds of postseason glory? Our hottest team one month into the season, Dad Weights and Protein Shakes. After September, Alvin Kamara went from WRBL MVP consideration to a reliable back who gets touches but no touchdowns. First it was Derek Carr going down with an injury that hampered the Saints offense, then it was TE Taysom Hill stealing all the glorious goal line carries. Now, Hill went down with a season-ending ACL tear (the week he gets his first start of the WRBL season, sorry Nick) and Kamara is free to sneak it in the end zone a few times and save Sparky from a disastrous drop-off. He won't get far without help though, as he sits a game behind Stoltzya's Electric Orcas and needs the league's highest scoring team (Hoefs) to somehow drop a sixth loss. There's also the matter of season-long point totals where he sits a comfortable 52.16 points ahead of Gabe but also, 16.5 points behind T-o-d-d Todd To Go. Good thing I face Gabe this weekend to simplify that matter. Gabe is 4-9 in the Hypothetical Standings at the bottom of this, so his would be the zaniest postseason team we've had a minute and yet that Cinderella story could just kick my ass and be 8-6 at the end of the week. What's not simple is that one of the four teams from the Shooter McGavin division MUST make the playoffs (circa winning our division) and one of the four Steven Nett Division teams MUST miss the playoffs (between Sparky and Gabe). Right now, Brett's Caleb Williams Nail Polish has the one-game and 28.26 point lead over Andy. The problem there is that this is a BYEMAGEDDON week (six teams are on bye, five of whom in the NFL's playoff picture) and Brett has two kickers on IR (Austin Siebert of Washington and Spencer Shrader of Kansas City). Will he let this problematic placekicker party pull his pants down in front of onlookers or will he pull himself and say... Bengals new kicker Cade York up by the bootstraps and EARN that 8-6 divisional victory? Help us (meaning me) Tua Won KeLipa, you're our (meaning mine) only hope.
Records between the four possible wildcard teams
Brett 7-6
Gabe 7-6
Andy 6-7
Sparky 6-7
Point Totals among the four possible wildcard teams
Brett 1,587.78
Andy 1,559.52
Sparky 1,543.02
Gabe 1,489.86
One thing is certain, we are in for a possible all-timer of a regular season fantasy finale this weekend whether players throw touchdown passes to themselves (oh hi, Josh Allen) or to the other team (*Jameis Winston perks up*). Who survives post-week 14 and who has to dodge the oncoming Sacko Bowl tournament? Will Cole or Hoefs be our number 1/smash hit/off the charts/classic? How can mirrors be real if Kyle Pitts isn't real? Magnets, how do those work? (nobody ask Aaron Rodgers) We'll let this weekend's slate be the Judge Jeudy, the Jurreh Jones and the executioner as all answers get cleared up after the unflexable Simpsons-cast Bengals-Cowboys MNF showdown.
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AP Photo/Jack Dempsey
Will Nick start WR Jerry Jeudy after snagging him from waivers a week after a career-best game of revenge? Brett might need to add some firepower if the former Bronco puts up another 40.5. |
Official WRBL Standings
Steven Nett Division
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 9-4 W3 (1,724.32)
The Van Buren Boys (Nathaniel Hoefs) 8-5 L1 (1,790.86)
Stoltzya's Electric Orcas (Gabe Stoltz) 7-6 W3 (1,489.86)
Dad Weights and Protein Shakes (Jaime Sparkes) 6-7 L1 (1,543.02)
Shooter McGavin Division
Caleb Williams Nail Polish (Brett Weinfurter) 7-6 L3 (1,587.78)
T-o-d-d Todd To Go (Andy Todd) 6-7 W1 (1,559.52)
Tua Lipa (Nick Zurawski) 5-8 L3 (1,528.6)
Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 4-9 W1 (1,432.54)
Week Thirteen Final Scores
ANDY defeats HOEFS 152.94-122.06
GABE defeats NICK 144.32-114.62
ALEC defeats BRETT 128-81.38
COLE defeats SPARKY 138.46-126.24
Heroes of the Week: TE Brock Bowers (30.2, Cole), QB Josh Allen (28.42, Nick), QB Jayden Daniels (27.64, Sparky)
Waiver Wonders: WR Jerry Jeudy (40.5), QB Jameis Winston (32.98), QB Russell Wilson (26.86)
Benchwarmers of the Week: WR Terry McLaurin (27.3, Hoefs), QB Caleb Williams (26.14, Andy), QB Tua Tagovailoa (25.2, Cole)
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Danny Medley-Imagn Images
Hero of the Week: TE Brock Bowers (Colieveland 96ers) |
Upcoming Week 13 Schedule for both WRBL and NFL (in CST)
Sparky v. Hoefs
Andy v. Gabe
Nick v. Brett
Alec v. Cole
Thursday @ 7:15 PM: Green Bay @ Detroit
Sunday @ NOON: Cleveland @ Pittsburgh (QUADBOX)
New Orleans @ NY Giants
NY Jets @ Miami (QUADBOX)
Jacksonville @ Tennessee
Atlanta @ Minnesota (QUADBOX)
Carolina @ Philadelphia (QUADBOX)
Las Vegas @Tampa Bay
Sunday @ 3:05 PM: Seattle @ Arizona
Sunday @ 3:25 PM: Buffalo @ LA Rams
Chicago @ San Francisco
Sunday @ 7:20 PM: LA Chargers @ Kansas City
Monday @ 7:15 PM: Cincinnati @ Dallas
Bye Weeks: Baltimore Ravens, Houston Texans, Washington Commanders, Denver Broncos, Indianapolis Colts and the New England Patriots
Scoring Leaders
QB
Lamar Jackson 321.4 (Brett)
Jalen Hurts 258.26 (Gabe)
Josh Allen 251.74 (Nick)
Joe Burrow 225.98 (Hoefs)
Jayden Daniels 192.1 (Sparky)
Brock Purdy 137.62 (Alec)
Jordan Love 119.72 (Cole)
Jared Goff 111.82 (Andy)
Tua Tagovailoa 67.26 (Andy/Cole)
Sam Darnold 66.14 (Alec)
Caleb Williams 61.38 (Andy)
C.J. Stroud 53.48 (Hoefs)
Aaron Rodgers 51.82 (Cole)
Patrick Mahomes 44.46 (Sparky)
Kyler Murray 24.1 (Gabe)
Drake Maye 20.84 (Andy)
Baker Mayfield 18.66 (Nick)
Kirk Cousins 17.78 (Cole)
Derek Carr 7.98 (Alec)
RB
Saquon Barkley 285.6 (Cole)
Derrick Henry 243.6 (Nick)
Alvin Kamara 235.4 (Sparky)
Bijan Robinson 226.9 (Andy)
Jahmyr Gibbs 217.5 (Gabe)
Breece Hall 189.3 (Andy)
Kyren Williams 187.9 (Alec)
Joe Mixon 185.1 (Cole)
De'Von Achane 178 (Hoefs)
James Conner 171.4 (Brett)
Josh Jacobs 153.1 (Alec)
D'Andre Swift 147.8 (Brett)
James Cook 147.6 (Hoefs)
Jonathan Taylor 142.2 (Nick)
Aaron Jones 138 (Sparky)
Kenneth Walker 133.1 (Hoefs)
J.K. Dobbins 105.7 (Alec)
Jordan Mason 103.1 (Nick)
David Montgomery 96.32 (Cole)
Kareem Hunt 85.4 (Gabe)
Chuba Hubbard 83.4 (Sparky)
Tyrone Tracy Jr. 75.7 (Gabe)
Brian Robinson Jr. 66.5 (Gabe)
Travis Etienne 58.2 (Cole)
Christian McCaffrey 47.8 (Nick)
Najee Harris 45.7 (Sparky)
Tony Pollard 45.1 (Cole)
Rhamondre Stevenson 37.5 (Alec)
Isiah Pacheco 31.9 (Gabe)
Bucky Irving 27.5 (Alec)
Rachaad White 26.2 (Nick)
Rico Dowdle 21.3 (Gabe)
Chase Brown 19 (Andy)
Zack Moss 17.8 (Hoefs)
Jerome Ford 17.4 (Hoefs)
Jaylen Warren 15.4 (Andy)
Cam Akers 12.7 (Cole)
Raheem Mostert 9.4 (Brett)
Trey Sermon 5.9 (Nick)
Javonte Williams 4.6 (Andy)
Nick Chubb 4.5 (Nick)
Ty Johnson 3.4 (Hoefs)
Audric Estime 1.5 (Andy)
Dare Ogunbowale 1.1 (Andy)
WR
Ja'Marr Chase 272.3 (Hoefs)
Justin Jefferson 202.98 (Sparky)
CeeDee Lamb 197.9 (Gabe)
Garrett Wilson 180.8 (Cole)
Amon-Ra St. Brown 176.98 (Brett)
Drake London 168 (Brett)
Nico Collins 156.2 (Andy)
Malik Nabers 151.9 (Hoefs)
A.J. Brown 147.3 (Hoefs)
Cooper Kupp 145.5 (Nick)
D.J. Moore 140.2 (Nick)
Mike Evans 127.7 (Andy)
Courtland Sutton 118.28 (Sparky)
Chris Godwin 115.5 (Cole)
Tyreek Hill 109.7 (Alec)
DK Metcalf 105.5 (Alec)
Puka Nacua 92.4 (Alec)
Deebo Samuel 91.7 (Andy)
Zay Flowers 86 (Brett)
Jayden Reed 72.8 (Sparky)
Marvin Harrison Jr. 72.3 (Brett)
Stefon Diggs 68.1 (Gabe)
Ladd McConkey 60.5 (Gabe)
Chris Olave 58 (Gabe)
Tank Dell 53.1 (Alec)
Jaylen Waddle 53.1 (Cole)
Jordan Addison 49.2 (Brett)
Amari Cooper 45.9 (Nick)
Davante Adams 44.9 (Sparky)
Terry McLaurin 44.5 (Hoefs)
Brandon Aiyuk 38.2 (Cole)
Josh Downs 37.1 (Cole)
Tee Higgins 32.9 (Sparky)
Rashee Rice 29.1 (Andy)
Diontae Johnson 25.7 (Gabe)
DeVonta Smith 22.6 (Gabe)
Jameson Williams 18.9 (Alec)
Michael Pittman Jr. 18.7 (Alec/Andy/Cole)
Romeo Doubs 17 (Andy)
Jaxon Smith-Njigba 13.1 (Alec)
Khalil Shakir 11.8 (Cole)
Xavier Worthy 11.8 (Hoefs)
George Pickens 11.4 (Brett)
Wan'Dale Robinson 10 (Andy)
Tyler Lockett 8.5 (Nick)
Rashid Shaheed 8.3 (Nick)
Christian Watson 7.9 (Andy)
Rome Odunze 7.3 (Sparky)
DeAndre Hopkins 5.9 (Nick)
Brian Thomas Jr. 3.2 (Andy)
TE
Brock Bowers 162 (Cole)
George Kittle 148.4 (Brett)
Travis Kelce 103.4 (Andy)
Kyle Pitts 102.4 (Alec)
Trey McBride 98.2 (Andy)
David Njoku 82.4 (Hoefs/Nick)
Mark Andrews 81.7 (Gabe)
Dalton Kincaid 81.6 (Sparky)
Dallas Goedert 52.9 (Hoefs/Alec)
Tucker Kraft 45.1 (Hoefs)
Cade Otton 40.2 (Hoefs)
Sam LaPorta 38.9 (Nick)
Jake Ferguson 37.7 (Gabe)
Hunter Henry 36.2 (Sparky)
Zach Ertz 15.5 (Hoefs/Brett)
Tyler Conklin 11.5 (Cole)
Evan Engram 11.5 (Cole)
Taysom Hill 9.7 (Nick)
Dawson Knox 8 (Brett)
Mike Gesicki 7 (Nick)
Isaiah Likely 5 (Brett)
T.J. Hockenson 3.3 (Andy)
K
Ka'imi Fairbairn 145 (Hoefs)
Jake Bates 114 (Andy)
Justin Tucker 104 (Alec)
Brandon Aubrey 92 (Brett)
Harrison Butker 80 (Sparky)
Evan McPherson 80 (Nick)
Jake Moody 71 (Cole)
Younghoe Koo 48 (Gabe)
Austin Seibert 38 (Brett)
Cameron Dicker 28 (Cole)
Brandon McManus 25 (Sparky)
Cam Little 21 (Cole)
Chase McLaughlin 21 (Gabe)
Jake Elliott 19 (Gabe)
Chris Boswell 17 (Sparky)
Jason Sanders 15 (Nick)
Spencer Shrader 13 (Brett)
Blake Grupe 1 (Andy)
DF
Pittsburgh Steelers 91 (Andy)
San Francisco 49ers 73 (Sparky)
Philadelphia Eagles 50 (Nick)
Cleveland Browns 45 (Brett)
New York Jets 45 (Hoefs/Cole)
Minnesota Vikings 44 (Hoefs)
Los Angeles Chargers 40 (Nick/Alec)
Denver Broncos 36 (Cole/Gabe)
Chicago Bears 34 (Alec)
Buffalo Bills 29 (Alec/Sparky)
Dallas Cowboys 26 (Gabe)
Miami Dolphins 24 (Cole/Nick)
Cincinnati Bengals 23 (Andy/Gabe)
Houston Texans 23 (Sparky/Cole)
Kansas City Chiefs 23 (Brett)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 19 (Cole)
New Orleans Saints 16 (Nick/Cole)
Detroit Lions 12 (Andy/Nick)
New England Patriots 12 (Cole)
Baltimore Ravens 11 (Alec)
Las Vegas Raiders 10 (Nick)
Washington Commanders 10 (Andy/Alec)
Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose, no divisions)
Cole 9-4
Brett 8-5
Hoefs 7-6
Andy 7-6
Nick 7-6
Sparky 6-7
Gabe 4-9
Alec 4-9
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