Wisconsin Rapids Bro League
Bro...
A moment of silence is due for Gabe Stoltzya's Electric Orcas...
Against all odds, his 7-7 squad somehow surpassed Sparky's Dad Weights and Protein Shakes after the latter started 4-0 while the Orcas finished 4-10 in last place of the hypothetical standings. There are many ways to approach the fantasy football season and all the trials and tribulations it presents. You can stick with the inconsistencies that superstars like TE Mark Andrews and WR CeeDee Lamb (playing with QB Cooper Rush for half of the fantasy season) provide and let the cards fall where they may in terms of lucky scheduling down the stretch run OR you can believe your own hype and stick with September MVP candidates like QB Jayden Daniels and RB Alvin Kamara, never using the trade window to one's advantage and sputtering across the finish line. There's no point to loyalty in fantasy football and when you spot an outlier like a rookie QB carrying your team to victory while Patrick Mahomes is sitting on the bench, maybe Sparky should have traded one for a Tight End while Dalton Kincaid never eclipsed 13.1 points, spending all but three games in single-digit scoring as T-o-d-d Todd To Go hoarded bodies at the TE position. If I don't win this year or Sparky gets the Sacko, I'm just saying that Travis Kelce-for-Patrick Mahomes was sitting right there, in front of our eyes all year long. Hell, Jaime could have even surveyed the waiver wire and grabbed TE David Njoku once Deshaun Watson went down or TE Jonnu Smith once Tua came back.
Back to Gabe, he followed the waiver wire like a mad lad mainly out of necessity as RB Isaiah Pacheco, RB Brian Robinson Jr., WR Devonta Smith and WR Ladd McConkey all missed critical games. This led to temporary inactive fill-ins that worked like the technically inefficient WR Quentin Johnston scoring a solid 15.8 this week and long-term depth discoveries like Giants RB Tyrone Tracy Jr., who seems to have Men In Black-style erased Devin Singletary from our memories. Gabe wasn't going down without using every tool he had in his toolbox, needing a boatload of points going into Monday Night Football against Andy this week and getting a combined 42.7 from a trio of Cowboys (RB Rico Dowdle, Lamb and TE Jake Ferguson). Normally, that'd be enough but I had a dream week from my trio of Running Backs that concluded with Bengals RB Chase Brown scoring 24.3 in only his second start for T-o-d-d Todd To Go. The second-year back is now RB 11 in ESPN fantasy and if I ever have to choose between him and my preseason keeper (Breece Hall), I think I know which way to pivot. Sorry Bijan Robinson, Brown and waiver wire pickup Zach Charbonnet of the Seahawks decided to explode for a combined 82.7 this week but simply snagging the Seattle back off waivers and putting him in for Dowdle or Tracy Jr., forcing me to start another waiver add in RB Isaac Guerendo of the 49ers (who was also a stud with 26.8 points this week) would have reversed our fates. It's crazy how small choices like that can impact the narrative of an entire season. Without Zach Charbonnet, Stoltz might be in the playoffs as the little engine that could (not to be confused with my Bro League from many years ago) and the Shooter McGavin Division would have a case as the worst division in WRBL history with one ice-cold representative in the postseason.
si.com
Another instance of hindsight being 20/20 would be avoiding (above) Tampa K Chase McLaughlin (4 XPs) in favor of Chiefs K Matthew Wright (16 points).
For those that wanted a scientific study of the Dad Weights downfall, I present to you the Caleb Williams Nail Polish tailspin! Going into Week 11, Brett had a three-game and 101.3-point lead over Andy and a two-game/104.6-point advantage on Nick. Neither he nor Sparky lost weeks two through four (the first three games in a five-week winning streak for Brett) and against all odds, neither team won their division with Brett only making the playoffs on an 80.22-point advantage over Stoltzya's Electric Orcas. I don't mean to cast shame upon Mr. Weinfurter's worst stretch of the season but, an inactive RB Raheem Mostert dragged him straight to the fourth seed this week and this all could have easily been avoided had he benched Mostert when he and I faced back in week 11. That week I won by 11.8 and an active Mostert, who led the NFL in rushing touchdowns last season, scored -0.2 by accumulating negative yardage on only three carries. Hoefs won his division in part because he knew De'Von Achane was the bellcow back out of Miami after their bye week... did anybody bother to tell Brett? Of course, Mostert no longer being a must start wasn't the only culprit. There was the duo of successful waiver addition kickers hitting the IR in Austin Siebert of Washington and Spencer Shrader temporarily of Kansas City. Going into this week, he needed to drop the KC kicker after leaving him in the lineup despite a clear "IR" tag (he wouldn't have won anyway with his team only putting up 81.38 in Week 13) and Brett went ahead with Eagles kicker Jake Elliott this week. Elliott made two extra points and missed a 50+ yard field goal, scoring a lone point in another losing effort for the runner-up in the Shooter McGavin Division. Coming into the week, Andy needed to outscore Brett by 28.26 and the difference ended up being 39.1. If I would have started Isaac Guerendo over Zach Charbonnet, I'd be the one facing Hoefs this week and Brett still would have won our shit division. Instead, Nick started QB Josh Allen because only a Yale try-hard that thinks they're outsmarting the fantasy gods would have done that. Z also got by with a little help from his fishy friend with the WRBL's highest scoring kicker of the week, Jason Sanders. These two Tua Lipa favorites combined for 67.88 in a season-best week where Nick put up 162.48. He had two solid players left, but it's not enough. A back that'll really step (Derrick Henry), but it's not enough. Said he had his foot up on the gas, but it's not enough. He might be looking to whoop Jaime in the Sacko postseason but, I think he'd rather turn the TV off, turn the TV off.
Brett and I clinching our postseason spots were the main headline but, there was still seeding at play between the top two in the Steven Nett Division and wouldn't you know it, we had a switching of the guard in BOTH divisions on the last week of the regular season! The Van Buren Boys have been as reliable as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich this season, leading in points since like... week three? (somebody else can look that one up). It was another case of the usual suspects in this week's Hoefs victory as WR Ja'Marr Chase was once again a Hero of the Week (45.1 points) and he carried along Joe Burrow's stats with him. If it weren't for RB Kenneth Walker, K Ka'imi Fairbairn and WR Terry McLaurin being on bye and TE Jonnu Smith spending all four regulation quarters of the Dolphins-Jets game hanging out with his good friend Luigi Mangione on the Dolphins' sideline, Nathaniel might have beaten Sparky by 100. Instead, The VBB got quiet showings from RB James Cook (4.9), WR A.J. Brown (8.3) and one awesome overtime drive out of Smith that accumulated 13.4 points after the aforementioned goose egg. Sparky's eighth loss in ten weeks could be attributed to any number of disappointments including the Bills defense LOSING three points in 42-44 shootout versus the LA Rams, TE Will Dissly injuring his shoulder on Sunday Night Football leading to the Stone Smartt renaissance or WR Jayden Reed's lone target being a near catch on a 3rd & 4 early in the 1st quarter on Thursday night against the Lions. Hopefully lifting those dad weights means Sparky can manage carrying all these L's.
Of course, the Steven Nett Division could not be won by Hoefs without some help. Cole was too busy celebrating his masters, taking over Jammers, posing for photos and prematurely lifting title belts to focus on beating our last-place (at the moment) team. Alec's Tax Paying Homeowner pulled off a stunner without WR Tyreek Hill (Benchwarmer of the Week!) and with TE Kyle Pitts remaining fantasy football poison (2.4 points on 1 catch out of 6 targets). If Cole didn't have enough reasons to hate the Minnesota Vikings or hippies with long hair already, QB Sam Darnold and WR Puka Nacua combined for 76.38 points in a victorious effort by Alec. Cole asked me in person whether he should start WR Davante Adams or WR Garrett Wilson from the Jets and I said "Adams but it's really tricky to see a clear advantage there", so he ended up starting both and neither really let him down. At the end of the day, Alec's team just played coy all season long only to bite off Cole's division-leading ankles at season's end. Joe Mixon being on bye didn't help and neither did rookie TE Brock Bowers' more pedestrian than usual showing (8.2, his fourth single-digit scoring game in comparison to nine of 10 or above). Cole was outscored by Hoefs by 7.62 points this week, bringing the season-long differential to Hoefs +72.16. Cole will now slide in to the postseason looking for his first win in three tries against The Van Buren Boys but, he'll have to get through T-o-d-d Todd To Go first.
NFL.com
A trio of RB Josh Jacobs (above) touchdowns swung this weekend's 96ers-Homeowner matchup in favor of Alec against Green Bay and 96er QB Jordan Love.
The bye weeks are over and the fantasy playoffs have begun! The list of noteworthy injuries to keep an eye on coming into the week include RB Kenneth Walker (Hoefs), WR George Pickens (Brett), RB Breece Hall (Andy) anr RB Tony Pollard (Cole) so it feels as though the playing field has been evened headed into semifinals weekend as Hoefs takes on Brett and Andy gets 96'ed. Frankly, the Shooter McGavin Division is just happy to be here. For the Sacko Bowl playoffs, Gabe is looking to avoid back-to-back Sackos or else he'll get labeled as the David Carr of our league despite a .500 regular season. Will Alec sneak in a third win or are the Orcas due for a surge in points? #6 and #7 I have marked down as Nick at 6 and Sparky at 7 despite Sparky sweeping the season series between the two because we don't really have a clear answer on whether or not points or head-to-head are the tiebreaker for the Sacko but I don't see how it's any different than the playoffs (where points are the tie-breaker). Something to think about discussing this offseason and ultimately forget at the last minute for 2025. Some things never change! but one thing has this year, Nick is out of the playoffs and Brett is in and that's all that really matters for Brett right now, whether he takes a Cinderella run or just peters out. That and more to be determined this weekend, concluding in the most random of Monday Night doubleheaders (Bears-Lions and Falcons-Raiders). I cannot wait to see if Desmond Ridder gets his chance at revenge or if the Lions drop a 50-burger on poor interim coach Thomas Brown.
Official WRBL Standings
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| USA TODAY Sports Hero of the Week: QB Josh Allen (Tua Lipa) |
PLAYOFFS: #1 Nathaniel Hoefs v. #4 Brett Weinfurter
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