Wisconsin Rapids Bro League
Week Twelve
Our Seventh Official Season of blaming Cole Walters for the MLB lockout.
Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks)
Steven Nett Division
Scott's Many Endeavors (Nick Zurawski) 11-1 W1
Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 8-4 W2
Yeezy Taught Me (Nathaniel Hoefs) 4-8 L2
Todd's Plan (Andy Todd) 3-9 L2
Tanner Glaza Division
Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 7-5 W2
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 7-5 W2
SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 4-8 L1
Big Nick Energy (Ryan Dougherty) 4-8 L2
Week Twelve Final Scores
COLE defeats ANDY 130.4-117.78
ALEC defeats RYAN 93.26-88.06
NICK defeats HOEFS 129.1-110.02
DARRIN defeats SNEEN 147.88-125.64
Heroes of the Week: RB Leonard Fournette (44.1), RB Joe Mixon (32.1), WR Jaylen Waddle (28.7)
Waiver Wonders: WR Kendrick Bourne (23.1), RB J.D. McKissic (22.6), QB Mac Jones (21.5)
What-if of the Week: If Andy would have started WR Van Jefferson (18.3) over WR Mike Evans (4.6), he'd have beaten Cole by 1.08.
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| Trevor Ruszkowski - USA TODAY Sports Hero of the Week: RB Leonard Fournette (Team ChowHounds) |
Upcoming Week 13 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)
Darrin v. Alec
Cole v. Sneen
Ryan v. Nick
Hoefs v. Andy
Thursday: Dallas @ New Orleans 7:20 PM
Sunday NOON: Tampa Bay @ Atlanta
Arizona @ Chicago
LA Chargers @ Cincinnati
Minnesota @ Detroit
NY Giants @ Miami
Philadelphia @ NY Jets
Indianapolis @ Houston
3:05 PM: Washington @ Las Vegas
Jacksonville @ LA Rams
3:25 PM: Baltimore @ Pittsburgh
San Francisco @ Seattle
Sunday Night Football: Denver @ Kansas City 7:20 PM
Monday Night Football: New England @ Buffalo 7:15 PM
BYES: Green Bay, Tennessee, Cleveland, Carolina
Bro...
These next two weeks mean virtually nothing to the Wisconsin Rapids Bro League beyond playoff seeding (and we all know who the #1 seed is already, nice job league commissioner Nick Zurawski). The lack of competitive balance seems obvious when only focusing on the actual league standings. Taking a closer look at the hypothetical standings at the very bottom of the weekly review tells a very different story. Sure, Nick has still been a top-4 scorer in 10 out of 12 weeks thus far BUT, there are six teams sandwiched in the middle at .500 or 5-7 (hi Ryan!) and they've been bouncing around the hypothetical 4th-dimensional Bro League all season long. Don't worry, there is no hypothetical scenario where my team doesn't suck with or without rice. 0/10, would not recommend dedicating one's draft to Scott Aschebrook ever again.
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| David Zalubowski/AP I'm sure that protecting RB Austin Ekeler instead of Antonio Gibson may have altered things for Todd's Plan a bit but, carrying the whole team? Unlikely. |
The 2021 WRBL Playoff Teams are as follows...
Scott's Many Endeavors (Nick Zurawski)
Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook)
Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson)
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters)
In our seven official seasons, these four have combined for one title and that miraculous title was the Waltdog completing a 96-point comeback on December 26th, 2016 in a game that saw Detroit Lions' legend Zach Zenner rush for two touchdowns (which did not affect our league at all but, LOL Zach Zenner). Are these two on a collision course for the Finals rematch to end all final rematches? or is Alec finally all caught up on his taxes, stiff-arming the IRS like he was Derrick Henry in one of those Old Spice Ads? Doesn't get much spicier than a WRBL-record 15-1 final record, something Nick could totally pull off. Is my Sacko Bowl punishment going to be joining TikTok and making a dance to a Doja Cat song or something? There's a still plenty of plot holes to wrap up so, stay tuned for all that Bro League drama as it unfolds.
I did not have RB Leonard Fournette as the only player to score not only 40 but, 32.2 points or more in any week (44.1 in week 12) on my 2021 fantasy football bingo card but alas, the ChowHounds saw no ill effects caused by the absence of RB Derrick Henry with Fournette quietly continuing his budding reputation as a do-it-all pass-catching back, now with the GOAT throwing him passes instead of Blake Bortles. Darrin wins the honor of our highest scoring team this week, stealing a win away from hypothetical week 12 victor Tyler Sneen. Sneen will once again compete for the Sacko as our fates seem to line up every year now and I look forward to our postseason tussle. This year, the Sneen Machine was undone by a massive losing streak and some streaky indecision on a week-by-week basis amongst his receiving corps. Perhaps he could have offered me Ekeler for Mike Evans and a body at RB for the monthly Dalvin Cook injury? Like Ryan Tedder from OneRepublic once said, "it's too late to apologize" for not evening the playing field a tiny bit by entertaining the possibility of trading with a fellow loser but man, the readers could've used the plot twists this season.
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| Lachlan Cunningham/Getty Images Sneen Machine RB Dalvin Cook has been a costly keeper, now injured again with a torn labrum and dislocated shoulder. |
Cole and Alec remain tied for the Tanner Glaza Division lead in this regular season's most heated battle after they both took out much weaker oppositions in Todd's Plan and Ryan's Big Nick Energy. Ryan's Saints fandom has been quelled by injury luck and baffling decision-making but, even he knew better than to trust the now sub-.500 squad for his even weaker fantasy team. The midseason name change made no difference to Ryan's fortunes with Patrick Mahomes' early turnover concerns and some awful injury luck among the FLEX options. Lastly, the one thing Nathan learned from Kanye West's 2020 presidential run was how to lose (PS: Watch this week's It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, it was great. That show is great. I missed it so much.) as Hoefs' Yeezy Taught Me dropped to 4-8 thanks to Nick's bulldozer lineup continuing with the blueprint for league deconstruction. Nathan has our league's WR1 and WR4 and yet, his running backs just fucking destroyed his chances this season. I still don't know how Christian McCaffrey wracked up 127.5 points this year considering it seems like he's played in all of four games. Other than that, the second-year WRBL-er went weird with the streaming RB gameplan and uh.... that doesn't really work in an 8-team league. You can trust Andy Todd on that because that was his plan and we all see how that's turning out.
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| Kanye for 2024, then? Idk man... We used to be a country, a proper country. |
Scoring Leaders
QB
Tom Brady 225.14 (Sneen)
Josh Allen 221.92 (Cole)
Lamar Jackson 221.16 (Nick)
Patrick Mahomes 205.16 (Ryan)
Aaron Rodgers 198.18 (Darrin)
Kyler Murray 151.96 (Hoefs)
Joe Burrow 140.78 (Alec)
Russell Wilson 118.12 (Andy)
Justin Herbert 108.64 (Hoefs)
Ryan Tannehill 63.06 (Andy)
Matthew Stafford 47.08 (Darrin)
Daniel Jones 40.3 (Cole/Nick)
Derek Carr 35.68 (Alec)
Jalen Hurts 34.76 (Ryan)
Tua Tagovailoa 26.54 (Cole)
Dak Prescott 21.52 (Sneen)
Carson Wentz 17.14 (Alec)
Justin Fields 14.42 (Andy)
RB
Jonathan Taylor 285.1 (Alec)
Austin Ekeler 242.7 (Sneen)
Joe Mixon 205.1 (Nick)
Najee Harris 199.9 (Cole)
Derrick Henry 193.3 (Darrin)
Ezekiel Elliott 188.96 (Nick)
Aaron Jones 160.9 (Ryan)
Alvin Kamara 158 (Darrin)
Nick Chubb 149.3 (Ryan)
Dalvin Cook 146.5 (Sneen)
Leonard Fournette 129.7 (Darrin)
Christian McCaffrey 127.5 (Hoefs)
James Robinson 117.4 (Ryan)
D'Andre Swift 111.9 (Cole)
Darrel Williams 89 (Andy)
David Montgomery 87.9 (Alec)
Darrell Henderson 82.1 (Sneen)
Antonio Gibson 81.9 (Andy)
A.J. Dillon 75.5 (Andy)
Josh Jacobs 69.4 (Darrin)
Saquon Barkley 64.9 (Cole)
Cordarrelle Patterson 62.7 (Sneen)
Chase Edmonds 56.5 (Hoefs)
Chuba Hubbard 50.6 (Andy/Nick)
Damien Harris 50.4 (Andy)
Alexander Mattison 49.4 (Hoefs/Andy)
D'Ernest Johnson 47.5 (Hoefs/Nick)
James Conner 47 (Sneen/Darrin)
Myles Gaskin 45.2 (Cole)
Kareem Hunt 38.7 (Hoefs)
Elijah Mitchell 36.4 (Andy)
Mark Ingram 36.1 (Ryan)
Chris Carson 35.4 (Nick)
Clyde Edwards-Helaire 32.2 (Hoefs)
Khalil Herbert 27.1 (Alec)
Alex Collins 26 (Andy/Alec)
Miles Sanders 24.7 (Nick)
J.D. McKissic 15.6 (Cole/Andy)
Devontae Booker 15.2 (Nick)
Mike Davis 12.1 (Alec)
Melvin Gordon 11.2 (Ryan)
Kenyan Drake 10.5 (Ryan)
Zack Moss 10.3 (Ryan)
Michael Carter 9.6 (Cole)
Devonta Freeman 8.8 (Hoefs)
D'Onta Foreman 5 (Hoefs)
Adrian Peterson 3 (Alec)
Kenneth Gainwell 2.7 (Hoefs)
Raheem Mostert 2 (Cole)
James White 0.6 (Andy)
WR
Cooper Kupp 277.2 (Hoefs)
Tyreek Hill 232.6 (Nick)
Davante Adams 218.3 (Cole)
Stefon Diggs 193.7 (Hoefs)
Keenan Allen 182.5 (Andy)
Deebo Samuel 174.7 (Nick)
Adam Thielen 162 (Darrin)
Justin Jefferson 150.4 (Alec)
Michael Pittman Jr. 140.3 (Ryan)
DK Metcalf 137.7 (Alec)
Mike Evans 134.6 (Andy)
Terry McLaurin 137.5 (Nick)
CeeDee Lamb 126.9 (Hoefs)
D.J. Moore 126.9 (Sneen)
A.J. Brown 126.5 (Alec)
DeAndre Hopkins 125.6 (Darrin)
Amari Cooper 121.8 (Ryan)
Brandin Cooks 112.4 (Darrin)
Ja'Marr Chase 103.1 (Sneen)
Diontae Johnson 102.9 (Andy)
Jaylen Waddle 102.6 (Cole)
Chris Godwin 101.7 (Alec)
Mike Williams 83.8 (Sneen)
Calvin Ridley 71.1 (Andy)
Robert Woods 63.6 (Sneen)
Marquise Brown 37.8 (Darrin)
DeVonta Smith 29.9 (Ryan/Sneen)
Tee Higgins 29.8 (Cole)
Courtland Sutton 26.5 (Cole)
Allen Robinson 24.6 (Sneen)
Jakobi Meyers 20.8 (Hoefs)
Hunter Renfrow 20.3 (Hoefs)
Julio Jones 19.4 (Ryan)
Darnell Mooney 17.5 (Hoefs)
D.J. Chark 16.8 (Cole)
Randall Cobb 16.5 (Cole)
Michael Gallup 15.6 (Ryan)
Emmanuel Sanders 14.1 (Cole)
Tyler Lockett 13.5 (Andy)
Jerry Jeudy 12.9 (Alec)
Elijah Moore 9.3 (Darrin)
Kadarius Toney 9.06 (Andy)
Van Jefferson 8.4 (Andy)
Christian Kirk 4.5 (Ryan)
Chase Claypool 3.7 (Ryan)
TE
Travis Kelce 183.5 (Andy)
Mark Andrews 170.1 (Sneen)
Darren Waller 129.3 (Hoefs)
Kyle Pitts 111.6 (Ryan)
T.J. Hockenson 111.5 (Alec)
Noah Fant 102.1 (Nick)
Mike Gesicki 83.2 (Cole)
George Kittle 72.3 (Darrin)
Logan Thomas 39.8 (Cole/Andy)
Dalton Schultz 26.8 (Darrin)
Dallas Goedert 25.2 (Hoefs)
Tyler Higbee 25.2 (Darrin)
Pat Freiermuth 11.1 (Nick)
Jared Cook 10.8 (Nick)
Tyler Conklin 9.5 (Alec)
Rob Gronkowski 9.5 (Ryan)
Robert Tonyan 7.9 (Alec)
Dawson Knox 7.5 (Ryan)
Hunter Henry 4.3 (Sneen)
K
Justin Tucker 106 (Sneen)
Tyler Bass 98 (Cole)
Harrison Butker 85 (Darrin)
Nick Folk 82 (Hoefs)
Brandon McManus 81 (Alec/Andy)
Matt Gay 78 (Nick)
Daniel Carlson 66 (Ryan/Nick)
Matt Prater 46 (Andy/Sneen/Andy)
Greg Joseph 41 (Ryan)
Mason Crosby 27 (Hoefs/Cole)
Jason Sanders 21 (Andy)
Ryan Succop 21 (Alec)
Younghoe Koo 17 (Hoefs)
Randy Bullock 12 (Andy)
Greg Zuerlein 10 (Nick)
Graham Gano 6 (Darrin)
Josh Lambo 1 (Ryan)
DF
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 74 (Alec)
New England Patriots 67 (Nick/Ryan)
Arizona Cardinals 53 (Cole/Sneen)
Buffalo Bills 52 (Sneen/Nick)
Miami Dolphins 51 (Cole)
New Orleans Saints 48 (Ryan/Darrin)
Los Angeles Rams 47 (Cole/Andy)
Denver Broncos 40 (Andy)
Cleveland Browns 32 (Nick/Andy)
Carolina Panthers 29 (Darrin/Alec/Hoefs)
Indianapolis Colts 28 (Ryan/Nick/Cole)
Pittsburgh Steelers 20 (Hoefs/Sneen)
Dallas Cowboys 17 (Hoefs/Darrin)
San Francisco 49ers 17 (Nick/Cole/Hoefs)
Baltimore Ravens 9 (Sneen/Hoefs)
Green Bay Packers 9 (Cole)
Houston Texans 8 (Nick)
Atlanta Falcons 6 (Cole)
Philadelphia Eagles 6 (Alec)
Tennessee Titans 5 (Hoefs/Nick)
Las Vegas Raiders 4 (Hoefs)
Washington Football Team 3 (Darrin)
Cincinnati Bengals 2 (Nick/Hoefs)
Chicago Bears 0 (Ryan/Andy)
Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose)
Scott's Many Endeavors 10-2
Yeezy Taught Me 6-6
SNEEN MACHINE 6-6
Team ChowHounds 6-6
Colieveland 96ers 6-6
Tax Paying Homeowner 6-6
Big Nick Energy 5-7
Todd's Plan 3-9
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