Wisconsin Rapids Bro League
Week Eleven
Our Seventh Official Season of blaming Cole Walters for the lemonade stand 'round the corner running out of grapes.
Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks)
Steven Nett Division
Scott's Many Endeavors (Nick Zurawski) 10-1 L1
Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 7-4 W1
Yeezy Taught Me (Nathaniel Hoefs) 4-7 L1
Todd's Plan (Andy Todd) 3-8 L1
Tanner Glaza Division
Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 6-5 W1
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 6-5 W1
SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 4-7 W1
Big Nick Energy (Ryan Dougherty) 4-7 L1
Week Eleven Final Scores
COLE defeats NICK 138.36-124.58
DARRIN defeats ANDY 129.3-127.32
ALEC defeats HOEFS 144.34-135.98
SNEEN defeats RYAN 141.04-107.7
Heroes of the Week: RB Jonathan Taylor (53.4), RB Austin Ekeler (41.5), QB Justin Herbert (34.28)
Waiver Wonders: WR Elijah Moore (29.6), TE Zach Ertz (28.8), QB Cam Newton (26.16)
What-if of the Week: If Titans' RB Dontrell Hilliard doesn't fumble into the end zone and either A. Stays up and scores or B. falls down, leading to another play on offense for Tennessee, Ryan Tannehill quite possibly scores 4.12 more points. That would have been enough for Todd's Plan to stay realistically alive in the playoff hunt, only two games behind Darrin instead of the 4.0 GB that currently stands.
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| Robert Scheer/IndyStar Hero of the Week: RB Jonathan Taylor (Tax Paying Homeowner) |
Upcoming Week 12 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)
Hoefs v. Nick
Sneen v. Darrin
Alec v. Ryan
Cole v. Andy
Thursday (THANKSGIVING) Games: Chicago @ Detroit 11:30 AM
Las Vegas @ Dallas 3:30 PM
Buffalo @ New Orleans 7:20 PM
Sunday NOON: Pittsburgh @ Cincinnati
Tampa Bay @ Indianapolis
Carolina @ Miami
Tennessee @ New England
Philadelphia @ NY Giants
Atlanta @ Jacksonville
NY Jets @ Houston
3:05 PM: LA Chargers @ Denver
3:25 PM: LA Rams @ Green Bay
Minnesota @ San Francisco
Sunday Night Football: Cleveland @ Baltimore 7:20 PM
Monday Night Football: Seattle @ Washington 7:15 PM
BYES: Arizona, Kansas City
Bro...
This year I'm thankful for friendships. Whether it's the men in this league, people I've known all my life, my co-workers or even those that I've lot touch with over time but know are still out there somewhere, slaying this whole adulthood thing on the other side of the country or globe. I think we've all been reminded of the importance of the bonds formed in this league as life has changed fairly dramatically for much of the world these past two years in the obvious (probably time to schedule that booster shot) and not-so-obvious (aka: not really MY place to bring up even if it is my blog but y'know... marriage, career changes, distant moves, personal breakthrough type of shit that goes without saying) ways. I suppose working my menial job eight days in a row just so I could get a holiday off has me feeling a bit more reflective than usual (never do that "What are you thankful for this year?" bullshit if you're going to invite me over for turkey for I will take an extended bathroom break). I could not have made it as sane and upbeat throughout the past year if it weren't for some of my coworkers. Since I found out one of them was in an accident this week, I'm also thankful they made it out okay because totaling a vehicle is pretty low-tier on the list of concerns when we all personally know how badly those types of situations can go down and I'm shaking just thinking about it. I'm glad you're alright and I'll see you in a couple weeks, bro.
Oh yeah! This is a weekly update on our fantasy football league. Let me get back on topic...
Ready the Turduckken and Galloping Gobbler atrocity of a trophy presentation because there are THREE Thursday football games. Alec will be watching intently as his Chicago football team either BEARS down on 0-9-1 Lion meat or bows out of any super outside wildcard odds now that they are 3-7 and forced to start "Red Rifle" Andy Dalton with Justin Fields healing his ribs on a short week. The midday contest sees two teams on cold spells looking for the nearest heated seats with the 5-5 Raiders playing at 7-3 Dallas, down both COVID-infected Amari Cooper and possibly still-concussed CeeDee Lamb. I'd call on a huge game for Ezekiel Elliott or Michael Gallup but, you just know that this is the random three touchdown Blake Jarwin/Tony Pollard game. Every Thanksgiving has a breakout star and it's either going to be one of those two or whoever the Saints' third-string running back is (Taysom Hill?). Speaking of the Saints, it'll still be Trevor Siemian starting at home against Buffalo as Who Dat? Nation probably takes their last gasps of superiority in 2021 against a mightily struggling Bills' squad that's crushing more hopes than tables as of late. All in all, it should be a wonderful day highlighted by food, family and fantasy football.
Week 10 only saw one team play football on Thursday as up to this point, I'm still not sure what the Atlanta Falcons were playing in their 25-0 loss to the #2 seed in the AFC (!) Patriots. If this is Mac Jones's ceiling, does it even matter? isn't Bill Belichick and co. just going to find a way to pull a conference championship out of their asses every year that they aren't forced into taking on the personality of a Cam Newton or the shitty injury luck that leads them to still going 11-5 with Matt Cassel? The Patriots are like cockroaches at this point. Not all hope is lost though because now that we live in a world where it HAS been proven possible that a team can take down Nick Zurawski's 2021 juggernaut of a roster, I'm going to quote Cole Walters here and state that "Dreams Do Come True!". Instead of pondering his orb, Nicky Z will now recalculate his projections since perfection is off the table as he looks to conceivably knock Hoefs out of postseason contention early. Don't worry Nathan, I've kept a seat empty for you in the loser's lounge. Todd's Plan now sits at 3-8 after a plethora of "What If" happenings culminated in a one point (rounded down?) loss to Darrin's ChowHounds. It would not have been such an upsetting loss if it weren't for Matt Prater missing two field goals, Tannehill's practice squad running back fumbling away a touchdown catch, a bunch of cheap Leonard Fournette dump-offs, the four Tannehill turnovers and cutting James Conner (20.9 for Darrin in week 11) back in September.
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| USA TODAY Sports Team Chowhounds also received a ton of help from WR Adam Thielen (22.2 points) in the 5-5 Vikings' upset win over the 8-3 Packers. |
All of those tumultuous Titans plays lead to an upset win for the 2-8 Texans and Adrian Peterson's (surprisingly quick) release. Tennessee will be taking their 8-3 team up to Foxborough to face the previously mentioned Patriots at noon on Sunday. It is amazing how action-packed this weekend seems to still be without the 7-4 Kansas City Chiefs or the 9-2 Arizona Cardinals. Certainly, the Chiefs' week off will make winning harder for Ryan's Big Nick Energy without QB Patrick Mahomes as the league baby (in age sense, not emotional. Take it easy there, Ryan. Nobody does more baby-like complaining than me now that Scott's taking a gap year) faces the 6-5 Tax Paying Homeowner Alec Swanson. Just remember that if you get walked in on without a quality quarterback (no offense to Jalen Hurts or whomever you may chose for week 12) in your lineup in a losing effort that lineup shrinkage is a thing and shouting "MAHOMES WAS ON BYE! MAHOMES WAS ON BYE!" as a method of defense is true Big Nick Energy. The biggest names were already missing from the Cardinals' lineup (Murray & Hopkins) so, a bye week will be much appreciated in the desert with only Darrin's RB James Conner as a noteworthy absence.
Finally, the Sneen Machine found their path to redemption after a fairly demoralizing five game losing streak spiraled Tyler down to a 3-7 record. Now 4-7, he still has some outside shot at the postseason despite Cole and Alec both winning this past week and maintaining a two-game lead in the Tanner Glaza Division. Really, Sneen has RB Austin Ekeler (41.5 points) to thank for that as the Charger RB enters under-the-radar MVP talks alongside fellow RB Jonathan Taylor (53.4 points this week). Taylor's 6-5 Colts get a spotlight shone on them during Sunday's early slate, at home, against the 7-3 defending champion Buccaneers while Ekeler's 6-4 Chargers look to even the score with the Chiefs on bye with a possible win over 5-5 fellow AFC West-mates in Denver. The national late afternoon game should be Matthew Stafford's best chance at taking down Green Bay as the 7-3 Rams come back off their much needed bye week against a team that's limping into theirs, now down CB Jaire Alexander, OT David Bakhtiari, RB Aaron Jones, TE Robert Tonyan, LB Za'Darius Smith and OL Elgton Jenkins. Oh yeah and Rodgers has a toe thing so, that's not ideal. Sunday Night Football will probably star a healthy(???) Lamar Jackson make his return just in time for the 7-3 Ravens to embarrass the 6-5 Cleveland Browns. That's just what the Browns do at this point and I have to admit, it's impressive that they aren't having a relatively bad season by any means (Above .500!) but, Baker Mayfield seems so lost and this team is still somehow in last in the AFC North. Lord help the Browns because we need some form of entertainment after the late afternoon games and Monday night's Seattle-Washington game just isn't it, no matter how many players I stockpile for that game as I try to humble the 69ers or whatever meme Mr. Walters can't let go of at the moment.
Scoring Leaders
QB
Tom Brady 213.9 (Sneen)
Lamar Jackson 211.76 (Nick)
Patrick Mahomes 205.16 (Ryan)
Josh Allen 195.22 (Cole)
Aaron Rodgers 172.9 (Darrin)
Kyler Murray 151.96 (Hoefs)
Joe Burrow 124.38 (Alec)
Russell Wilson 98.64 (Andy)
Justin Herbert 88.92 (Hoefs)
Ryan Tannehill 63.06 (Andy)
Matthew Stafford 47.08 (Darrin)
Daniel Jones 40.3 (Cole/Nick)
Derek Carr 35.68 (Alec)
Jalen Hurts 27.9 (Ryan)
Tua Tagovailoa 26.54 (Cole)
Dak Prescott 21.52 (Sneen)
Carson Wentz 17.14 (Alec)
Justin Fields 14.42 (Andy)
RB
Jonathan Taylor 265.4 (Alec)
Austin Ekeler 220.8 (Sneen)
Derrick Henry 193.3 (Darrin)
Najee Harris 193.2 (Cole)
Joe Mixon 172.8 (Nick)
Ezekiel Elliott 172.06 (Nick)
Aaron Jones 160.9 (Ryan)
Alvin Kamara 158 (Darrin)
Nick Chubb 143.4 (Ryan)
Dalvin Cook 132.2 (Sneen)
Christian McCaffrey 124 (Hoefs)
D'Andre Swift 108 (Cole)
James Robinson 104.9 (Ryan)
Darrel Williams 89 (Andy)
Leonard Fournette 85.6 (Darrin)
Darrell Henderson 82.1 (Sneen)
David Montgomery 77.5 (Alec)
Antonio Gibson 58.3 (Andy)
Chase Edmonds 56.5 (Hoefs)
Saquon Barkley 55.6 (Cole)
A.J. Dillon 55.5 (Andy)
Chuba Hubbard 50.6 (Andy/Nick)
Damien Harris 50.4 (Andy)
Josh Jacobs 50.2 (Darrin)
Alexander Mattison 49.4 (Hoefs/Andy)
D'Ernest Johnson 47.5 (Hoefs/Nick)
James Conner 47 (Sneen/Darrin)
Myles Gaskin 45.2 (Cole)
Kareem Hunt 36.7 (Hoefs)
Elijah Mitchell 36.4 (Andy)
Mark Ingram 36.1 (Ryan)
Chris Carson 35.4 (Nick)
Cordarrelle Patterson 35.2 (Sneen)
Clyde Edwards-Helaire 32.2 (Hoefs)
Khalil Herbert 27.1 (Alec)
Alex Collins 26 (Andy/Alec)
Miles Sanders 17.3 (Nick)
J.D. McKissic 15.6 (Cole/Andy)
Devontae Booker 15.2 (Nick)
Mike Davis 12.1 (Alec)
Melvin Gordon 11.2 (Ryan)
Kenyan Drake 10.5 (Ryan)
Zack Moss 10.3 (Ryan)
Michael Carter 9.6 (Cole)
Devonta Freeman 8.8 (Hoefs)
D'Onta Foreman 5 (Hoefs)
Adrian Peterson 3 (Alec)
Kenneth Gainwell 2.7 (Hoefs)
Raheem Mostert 2 (Cole)
James White 0.6 (Andy)
WR
Cooper Kupp 258.6 (Hoefs)
Tyreek Hill 232.6 (Nick)
Davante Adams 199.9 (Cole)
Stefon Diggs 173.3 (Hoefs)
Keenan Allen 167 (Andy)
Deebo Samuel 153.9 (Nick)
Adam Thielen 138.8 (Darrin)
Justin Jefferson 137.14 (Alec)
DK Metcalf 135.4 (Alec)
Michael Pittman Jr. 131 (Ryan)
Mike Evans 130 (Andy)
Terry McLaurin 128.4 (Nick)
CeeDee Lamb 126.9 (Hoefs)
A.J. Brown 126.5 (Alec)
DeAndre Hopkins 125.6 (Darrin)
Amari Cooper 121.8 (Ryan)
D.J. Moore 112.6 (Sneen)
Brandin Cooks 98.9 (Darrin)
Chris Godwin 97 (Alec)
Ja'Marr Chase 96.2 (Sneen)
Diontae Johnson 84.4 (Andy)
Mike Williams 83.8 (Sneen)
Jaylen Waddle 73.9 (Cole)
Calvin Ridley 71.1 (Andy)
Robert Woods 63.6 (Sneen)
Marquise Brown 37.8 (Darrin)
DeVonta Smith 29.9 (Ryan/Sneen)
Tee Higgins 29.8 (Cole)
Courtland Sutton 26.5 (Cole)
Allen Robinson 24.6 (Sneen)
Jakobi Meyers 20.8 (Hoefs)
Hunter Renfrow 20.3 (Hoefs)
Julio Jones 19.4 (Ryan)
D.J. Chark 16.8 (Cole)
Randall Cobb 16.5 (Cole)
Emmanuel Sanders 14.1 (Cole)
Tyler Lockett 13.5 (Andy)
Jerry Jeudy 12.9 (Alec)
Kadarius Toney 9.06 (Andy)
Van Jefferson 8.4 (Andy)
Christian Kirk 4.5 (Ryan)
Chase Claypool 3.7 (Ryan)
TE
Travis Kelce 183.5 (Andy)
Mark Andrews 153.6 (Sneen)
Darren Waller 124 (Hoefs)
Kyle Pitts 107 (Ryan)
T.J. Hockenson 99 (Alec)
Noah Fant 97.9 (Nick)
Mike Gesicki 78.5 (Cole)
George Kittle 70 (Darrin)
Logan Thomas 33.7 (Cole)
Dalton Schultz 26.8 (Darrin)
Dallas Goedert 25.2 (Hoefs)
Tyler Higbee 25.2 (Darrin)
Pat Freiermuth 11.1 (Nick)
Jared Cook 10.8 (Nick)
Tyler Conklin 9.5 (Alec)
Rob Gronkowski 9.5 (Ryan)
Robert Tonyan 7.9 (Alec)
Dawson Knox 7.5 (Ryan)
Hunter Henry 4.3 (Sneen)
K
Justin Tucker 93 (Sneen)
Tyler Bass 91 (Cole)
Harrison Butker 85 (Darrin)
Matt Gay 78 (Nick)
Brandon McManus 77 (Alec)
Nick Folk 62 (Hoefs)
Matt Prater 46 (Andy/Sneen/Andy)
Daniel Carlson 45 (Ryan/Nick)
Greg Joseph 39 (Ryan)
Mason Crosby 27 (Hoefs/Cole)
Jason Sanders 21 (Andy)
Younghoe Koo 17 (Hoefs)
Ryan Succop 13 (Alec)
Randy Bullock 12 (Andy)
Greg Zuerlein 10 (Nick)
Josh Lambo 1 (Ryan)
DF
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 74 (Alec)
New England Patriots 55 (Nick/Ryan)
Arizona Cardinals 53 (Cole/Sneen)
Buffalo Bills 52 (Sneen/Nick)
Los Angeles Rams 47 (Cole/Andy)
New Orleans Saints 44 (Ryan/Darrin)
Denver Broncos 40 (Andy)
Cleveland Browns 32 (Nick/Andy)
Indianapolis Colts 28 (Ryan/Nick/Cole)
Carolina Panthers 26 (Darrin/Alec)
Miami Dolphins 26 (Cole)
Pittsburgh Steelers 20 (Hoefs/Sneen)
Dallas Cowboys 17 (Hoefs/Darrin)
San Francisco 49ers 17 (Nick/Cole/Hoefs)
Baltimore Ravens 9 (Sneen/Hoefs)
Green Bay Packers 9 (Cole)
Atlanta Falcons 6 (Cole)
Tennessee Titans 5 (Hoefs/Nick)
Las Vegas Raiders 4 (Hoefs)
Washington Football Team 3 (Darrin)
Cincinnati Bengals 2 (Nick/Hoefs)
Chicago Bears -6 (Ryan)
Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose)
Scott's Many Endeavors 9-2
Yeezy Taught Me 6-5
Tax Paying Homeowner 6-5
SNEEN MACHINE 5-6
Team ChowHounds 5-6
Big Nick Energy 5-6
Colieveland 96ers 5-6
Todd's Plan 3-8
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