WRBL Week 4, 2020

 Wisconsin Rapids Bro League

Week Four

Our Sixth Official Season of blaming Cole Walters for Leno stealing the Tonight Show back from Conan.

Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks & [Seasonal Point Totals]) 

Steven Nett Division

Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 3-1 W2 [582.08]

Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 3-1 W2 [513.84]

Rise From The Asch3s (Scott Aschebrook) 1-2-1 L2 [529.80]

Shooter McGavin Division

Christy Fichtner All-Stars (Andy Todd) 2-2 L1 [539.66]

Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 2-2 L1 [520.14]

The Golladay Inn (Ryan Dougherty) 2-2 W1 [609.10]

Tanner Glaza Division

Free Chiquita (Nick Zurawski) 3-1 W1 [512.56]

Team Hoefs (Nathaniel Hoefs) 1-3 L2 [496.58]

SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 1-3 L1 [485.34]

Week Four Final Scores

NICK defeats SNEEN 122.32-108.8

COLE defeats ALEC 111.02-101.2

RYAN defeats HOEFS 146.0-116.6

DARRIN defeats SCOTT 166.96-130.28

BYE defeats ANDY 0-113.44

Heroes of the Week: TE George Kittle (40.1), QB Dak Prescott (37.28), WR Amari Cooper (33.4)

AP/Tony Avelar

Hero of the Week: TE George Kittle (Free Chiquita)

Waiver Wonders: TE Robert Tonyan (33.8), QB Teddy Bridgewater (26.24), QB Sam Darnold (23.6)

AP/Mike Roemer

Waiver Wonder: TE Robert Tonyan (6 catches, 98 yards, 3 TDs)

What-if of the Week: RB Joe Mixon (42.1) getting benched for RB Mike Davis (22.1) as a FLEX option at the last minute was not a horrible idea in spirit but, with any of James Robinson (14.7), Austin Ekeler (just 2.4 sadly), Davis, Cooper Kupp (17.7) or Keenan Allen (14.2) out of the lineup instead, Andy would have had a bye week win.

Upcoming Week 5 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)

NOTE: NFL Schedule subject to change due to ongoing COVID-19 cases rising and possible postponements (see: last week's Steelers-Titans BYE)
Cole v. Darrin

Ryan v. Sneen

Andy v. Scott

Hoefs v. Alec

Nick v. BYE

Thursday Night Football: Tampa Bay @ Chicago 7:20 PM

Sunday NOON: Carolina @ Atlanta

Buffalo @ Tennessee

Las Vegas @ Kansas City

Arizona @ NY Jets

Philadelphia @ Pittsburgh

LA Rams @ Washington

Cincinnati @ Baltimore

Jacksonville @ Houston

3:05 PM: Miami @ San Francisco

3:25 PM: Indianapolis @ Cleveland

NY Giants @ Dallas

Denver @ New England

Sunday Night Football: Minnesota @ Seattle 7:20 PM

Monday Night Football: LA Chargers @ New Orleans 7:15 PM

BYES: Green Bay Packers & Detroit Lions

Bro...

The impossible-to-predict NFL season continues!

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has made some pretty daring and ultimately recklessly dumb choices in the past when it's come to having the power to make the final call on things like fines and suspensions. Now, after over a decade of poor judgement calls on issues of player/coach discipline, Goodell faces more rightfully-earned criticism for being the professional sports league with the longest time off to come up with emergency plans for the COVID-19 season from hell and the NFL doesn't seem to have any task forces in place as they seem to be making up decisions on the spot again. Remember when Cam Newton tested positive last week and the league told the Patriots to have everyone who came into contact with Newton ride on one team plane while everybody who hadn't would ride in a separate plane? Remember when they all contacted each other despite the known delays between transferal of COVID and initial positive tests by playing the Patriots-Chiefs game Monday night? Oh look, Stephon Gilmore is sick. Oh hey, he greeted face of the NFL and golden boy Patrick Mahomes without either player masked up in your typical postgame sportsmanship routines a day before testing positive. It's a good thing they're consistently testing these players every day so that Goodell can't just get bailed out by the Friday night news dump like always. Nothing to see here, everything is fine.

I SAID "EVERYTHING. IS. FINE."

Now that both the Pittsburgh Steelers and Tennessee Titans have each had their emergency bye week, this means a (hopefully) full slate of games going forward from fantasy stars like Derrick Henry, JuJu Smith-Schuster and A.J. Brown. I'll take whatever small advantages I can get going forward with Brown, Jonnu Smith and a newly-owned, barely-used Diontae Johnson during a season with no blatantly obvious WRBL favorite (despite the swell of support behind 2020 being the year of Alec Swanson). This week's bye week blues will be affecting everybody's Packers and Lions which means no Aaron Rodgers, Aaron Jones, Davante Adams, Kenny Golladay or T.J. Hockenson among others. Otherwise, the NFL schedule looks a bit more juicy in week 5 than last week's primetime-heavy lineup. Thursday Night Football sees the rematch of the 2018 Super Bowl with Nick Foles and Tom Brady now on different teams than the one's that got them their rings. Are the Bears really better off with Mitchell Trubisky on the bench or are they the only team worse off than the Washington Football Team (who just benched Dwayne Haskins all the way to third string for Kyle Allen) under center? I'm also still looking for the "Was it more Belichick or Brady?" question to gain some clarity as the season moves onward and both New England and Tampa Bay just look like Patriots' Dynasty Lite. Sunday's noon slate sees Philly and Pittsburgh in the battle for Pennsylvania superiority (a title the Eagles have quietly held for a few years now) and the first of hopefully many Joe Burrow-Lamar Jackson division rivalry games. The late-afternoon shift sees Baker Mayfield (mobile Philip Rivers) take on Philip Rivers as both quarterbacks attempt to limit their boneheaded playmaking mistakes that will ultimately prevent either team from reaching their end goals. That Broncos-Patriots matchup looks a whole lot less enthralling if it's Brett Rypien and Jarrett Stidham instead of Drew Lock and Cam Newton so, I pray that that is not the national game. Sunday night sees the 1-3 Vikings feeling better and smelling an upset minus any 12th man fandom at 4-0 Seattle and Monday night is probably just going to be one game this week (who knows!?) as Justin Herbert makes his primetime debut at New Orleans, where the 2-2 Saints cannot afford to blow an opportunity against a seemingly cake-walk opponent in their likely final quest for a ring with Drew Brees.

K.C. Alfred/The San Diego Union-Tribune

Remember when these two were BOTH Chargers?

Week 4's WRBL action featured a surprising Colieveland 96er win over Alec to keep the Tac Paying Homeowner and everybody else in the Shooter McGavin division tied up at .500. Cole's performance was not enough for a W in the Hypothetical Standings (which are an absolute mess with nine teams by the way so, consider this the final season with that feature unless we get a tenth team owner) but despite the absences of Allen Lazard, Derrick Henry, Chris Godwin, Cam Akers, Zack Moss and newest trade-acquisition Phillip Lindsay, Cole pulled out a single-digit nail-biter with Myles Gaskin, Malcolm Brown and Cole Beasley in his McGyvered lineup. Meanwhile, Alec can blame Russell Wilson for forgetting about Tyler Lockett's existence one week after the Seahawks' current WR1 practically went uncovered versus Dallas's porous secondary. Speaking of Dallas's shitty defense, this week's beneficiaries were the Cleveland Browns. The WRBL Bros somehow didn't see this coming with only Nick Chubb getting a start for both Cleveland and the SNEEN MACHINE and in classic Tyler Sneen fashion, Chubb had his right leg rolled up on, ending his week prematurely with a 4.3 dud in the lineup, giving Nick Zurawski a 13.52 point advantage that could have easily been erased with Sneen having a healthy Chubb. Unfortunately when it comes to point totals, Sneen just couldn't get it up. Chubb was not the only sacrifice to the injury gods this weekend as Austin Ekeler messed up his hamstring after three touches and a measly 2.4 point total as I got a well-earned bye week loss where despite having no crazy players in my lineup, I still got too cute benching Joe Mixon and his 42.1 points against Jacksonville. The LA Charger defense also got too cute in their lax coverage of Tampa Bay WR Mike Evans after he looked gimpy early yet, played through injury to the tune of zero coverage and a 25.2-point performance in victory for both the Buccaneers and The Golladay Inn. Ain't no party like an Aschebrook party because and Aschebrook party is literally mandatory according to the league schedule and this week's family feud was one hell of a shootout with both earning hypothetical wins and Darrin coming out on top by 36+ despite Zach Ertz turning in a 4 catch, 9 yard, cheap-as-hell 6.9 point week for sneaky Scott. "Pure thuggery on his part" Cole was overheard stating as his voice echoed throughout the Rocky Mountains.

Cole vs. Darrin has been one of many heated rivalries in WRBL history but don't let their past 96-point comebacks distract you from the two being tied for first in the Steven Nett division at 3-1 coming into this week. As early as we still are in the 2020 fantasy season, this will be a crucial matchup for playoff purposes. Coming off of my bye week, the Christy Fichtner All-Stars will attempt to bury Scott Aschebrook's Rise from the Asch3s further under the ashes after his disappointing 1-2-1 start. Just when WR Terry McLaurin was starting to look like Alec's most consistently productive wideout, Washington decided to mess with their QB situation and McLaurin will need to re-establish that certainty so that Alec can insert him as a no-brainer starter instead of dropping another close loss. Swandog takes on league rookie and friend to all dogs Nathaniel Hoefs. It's cute that he's trying but, we're not letting another Rookie Ryan situation slip through our fingers like a Carson Wentz pass. Good luck to Nick Zurawski on keeping track of everything going on this week as he looks to eat a Bye Week "W" after I went hungry last week and couldn't focus on all the league's happenings. Down fantasy stud RB Nick Chubb, Sneen Machine decided to take this newly-IR'ed opportunity... to add ABSOLUTELY NOBODY. That's right, Sneen's only rostered RBs outside of lineup lock Dalvin Cook are Leonard Fournette (doubtful for TNF) and Rex Burkhead (losing touches with James White and Damien Harris both routinely active now). Needless to say, the machine's opponent (Ryan) is waiting with baited breath on whatever the hell Tyler's last-second, post-waiver decision is for his RB2 slot. At 1-3, it's easy to see just how quickly south this season is going for Sneen and those of us who have yet to face the once-proud owner are salivating at our matchups against a Machine with no scheduled software updates.

Ron Jenkins/Associated Press

With Chubb on IR, Kareem Hunt will see an even heavier share of Cleveland's backfield workload, benefitting 3-1 Free Chiquita.

TRADE: Andy has sent RB Joe Mixon to Ryan for WR Diontae Johnson.

2020 WRBL Scoring Leaders

QB

Russell Wilson 122.9 (Ryan)

Patrick Mahomes 108.16 (Andy)

Tom Brady 85.48 (Darrin)

Lamar Jackson 84.26 (Nick)

Dak Prescott 82.40 (Scott)

Joe Burrow 76.34 (Alec)

Matt Ryan 76.24 (Sneen)

DeShaun Watson 73.48 (Hoefs)

Kyler Murray 53.84 (Cole)

Josh Allen 53.60 (Cole)

Aaron Rodgers 19.20 (Scott)

RB

Alvin Kamara 127.7 (Darrin)

Aaron Jones 101.9 (Ryan)

Dalvin Cook 93.4 (Sneen)

Ezekiel Elliott 88.2 (Alec)

Chris Carson 80.0 (Ryan)

Josh Jacobs 69.0 (Scott)

Melvin Gordon 65.6 (Darrin)

Austin Ekeler 64.2 (Andy)

Clyde Edwards-Helaire 63.3 (Scott)

Nick Chubb 60.2 (Sneen)

Jonathan Taylor 56.0 (Alec)

Todd Gurley 54.3 (Darrin)

Christian McCaffrey 53.2 (Scott)

Derrick Henry 51.5 (Cole)

David Johnson 50.7 (Nick)

James Conner 48.7 (Hoefs)

James Robinson 45.6 (Andy)

Jerick McKinnon 39.4 (Hoefs)

Kenyan Drake 38.4 (Nick)

Ronald Jones 29.5 (Hoefs)

Joe Mixon 27.2 (Andy)

Miles Sanders 24.3 (Alec)

Myles Gaskin 23.7 (Cole)

Mike Davis 22.1 (Andy)

Saquon Barkley 15.4 (Nick)

Kareem Hunt 14.4 (Nick)

Malcolm Brown 10.6 (Cole)

James White 8.2 (Hoefs)

Boston Scott 7.4 (Cole)

J.K. Dobbins 7.1 (Cole)

Le'Veon Bell 6.6 (Andy)

Jeff Wilson Jr. 2.9 (Scott)

WR

DeAndre Hopkins 84.7 (Cole)

Calvin Ridley 80.5 (Nick)

Tyler Lockett 79.8 (Alec)

Adam Thielen 75.6 (Darrin)

Tyreek Hill 75.0 (Hoefs)

Allen Robinson 70.0 (Alec)

Keenan Allen 68.7 (Andy)

Amari Cooper 67.0 (Scott)

Cooper Kupp 64.4 (Andy)

Mike Evans 62.8 (Ryan)

Robert Woods 60.3 (Nick)

JuJu Smith-Schuster 53.0 (Sneen)

Stefon Diggs 49.0 (Sneen)

Davante Adams 48.2 (Darrin)

D.J. Moore 46.8 (Hoefs)

Julio Jones 36.3 (Sneen)

Robby Anderson 35.8 (Cole/Sneen)

Diontae Johnson 33.8 (Ryan)

DK Metcalf 33.6 (Darrin)

DeVante Parker 32.9 (Cole)

Marvin Jones 31.8 (Hoefs)

Chris Godwin 31.3 (Cole)

Odell Beckham Jr. 29.5 (Scott)

Allen Lazard 25.7 (Cole)

Jamison Crowder 24.5 (Ryan)

Will Fuller 22.8 (Nick)

Tyler Boyd 16.4 (Scott)

Kenny Golladay 16.2 (Ryan)

Darius Slayton 14.1 (Ryan)

Cole Beasley 12.2 (Cole)

CeeDee Lamb 11.6 (Scott)

Terry McLaurin 11.1 (Alec)

Jerry Jeudy 10.5 (Ryan)

T.Y. Hilton 9.3 (Scott)

Marquise Brown 9.2 (Alec)

A.J. Green 5.9 (Andy)

Michael Thomas 4.7 (Ryan)

Julian Edelman 4.2 (Sneen)

Emmanuel Sanders 2.8 (Sneen)

TE

Travis Kelce 65.7 (Hoefs)

Darren Waller 57.5 (Ryan)

Mark Andrews 52.6 (Darrin)

George Kittle 49.4 (Nick)

Hayden Hurst 41.2 (Alec)

Zach Ertz 40.9 (Scott)

Noah Fant 37.2 (Cole)

Tyler Higbee 36.4 (Nick)

Jonnu Smith 35.5 (Andy)

Hunter Henry 15.9 (Sneen)

Evan Engram 15.4 (Sneen)

T.J. Hockenson 10.2 (Cole)

Blake Jarwin 2.2 (Andy)

Chris Herndon 2.1 (Andy)

K

Rodrigo Blankenship 47 (Andy)

Justin Tucker 42 (Scott)

Harrison Butker 34 (Sneen)

Mason Crosby 34 (Cole)

Wil Lutz 34 (Hoefs)

Jake Elliott 30 (Ryan)

Matt Prater 30 (Alec)

Greg Zuerlein 26 (Darrin)

Chris Boswell 23 (Nick)

Robbie Gould 2 (Nick)

Ka'imi Fairbairn 1 (Cole)

DF

Tampa Bay Buccaneers 36 (Andy)

Baltimore Ravens 34 (Alec)

Indianapolis Colts 33 (Andy/Ryan)

Pittsburgh Steelers 32 (Hoefs)

San Francisco 49ers 27 (Sneen)

Chicago Bears 16 (Scott)

Los Angeles Chargers 16 (Cole/Scott)

Buffalo Bills 14 (Darrin)

Cleveland Browns 13 (Nick)

Los Angeles Rams 12 (Hoefs)

New England Patriots 12 (Ryan)

Arizona Cardinals 9 (Nick)

Indianapolis Colts 8 (Ryan)

New York Jets 8 (Nick)

Denver Broncos 6 (Cole)

Philadelphia Eagles 5 (Nick)

New Orleans Saints 3 (Ryan)

Atlanta Falcons 2 (Cole)

Kansas City Chiefs -1 (Cole)

Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose, 5th = BYE)

The Golladay Inn 3-0

Team ChowHounds 3-1

Free Chiquita 3-1

Rise From The Asch3s 2-1

Christy Fichtner All-Stars 2-2

Colieveland 96ers 2-2

Tax Paying Homeowner 1-2

Team Hoefs 0-3

SNEEN MACHINE 0-4