Wisconsin Rapids Bro League
Week Three
Our Sixth Official Season of blaming Cole Walters for acting "sus" in Among Us.
Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks & [Seasonal Point Totals])
Steven Nett Division
Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 2-1 W1 [415.12]
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 2-1 W1 [402.82]
Rise From The Asch3s (Scott Aschebrook) 1-1-1 L1 [399.52]
Shooter McGavin Division
Christy Fichtner All-Stars (Andy Todd) 2-1 W2 [426.22]
Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 2-1 W1 [418.94]
The Golladay Inn (Ryan Dougherty) 1-2 L1 [463.10]
Tanner Glaza Division
Free Chiquita (Nick Zurawski) 2-1 L1 [390.24]
Team Hoefs (Nathaniel Hoefs) 1-2 L1 [379.98]
SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 1-2 W1 [376.54]
Week Three Final Scores
ANDY defeats RYAN 207.7-133.5
SNEEN defeats NICK 122.72-117.18
COLE defeats HOEFS 143.8-133.16
ALEC defeats SCOTT 153.48-121.28
DARRIN defeats BYE 137.08-0
Heroes of the Week: RB Alvin Kamara (44.7), QB Patrick Mahomes (40), WR Tyler Lockett (37)
@brittanylynne8
Hero of the Week: QB Patrick Mahomes (Christy Fichtner All-Stars)
Waiver Wonders: RB Rex Burkhead (34.8), WR Cedrick Wilson (27.7), QB Jared Goff (27.24)
Maddie Meyer/Getty Images
Waiver Wonder: RB Rex Burkhead (6 carries, 49 yards, 7 catches, 49 yards, 3 total TDs)
What-if of the Week: Starting any of Kenny Golladay (17.7), Corey Davis (11.9) or Darius Slayton (6.3) over Diontae Johnson (0.9) would have given Ryan enough points to give Darrin a fifth-place finish in scoring, thus earning Darrin a tie instead of a win.
Upcoming Week 4 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)
Alec v. Cole
Alec v. Cole
Scott v. Darrin
Hoefs v. Ryan
Sneen v. Nick (The Rematch!)
Andy v. BYE
Thursday Night Football: Denver @ NY Jets 7:20 PM
Sunday NOON: Indianapolis @ Chicago
Jacksonville @ Chicago
Cleveland @ Dallas
New Orleans @ Detroit
Seattle @ Miami
LA Chargers @ Tampa Bay
Baltimore @ Washington
Arizona @ Carolina
Minnesota @ Houston
3:05 PM: NY Giants @ LA Rams
3:25 PM: New England @ Kansas City
Buffalo @ Las Vegas
Sunday Night Football: Philadelphia @ San Francisco 7:20 PM
Monday Night Football: Atlanta @ Green Bay 7:15 PM
PITTSBURGH @ TENNESSEE *ALLEGEDLY, FOR NOW, TIME UNKNOWN*
Bro...
It seems as though the Wisconsin Rapids Bro League has not resonated with the masses the same way that it has with it's nine current league owners. I was made aware of this fact after last week's post when Nathaniel Hoefs reported that league zombie and legend for all of the wrong reasons, Noah Bakunowicz saw a screenshot of his mention in last week's post (when Hoefs passed him in all-time wins) and it reminded me of the dark days nobody talks about anymore. What if I told you that I still refer to this league as "The Buffalo Wild Wings League" sometimes in conversation? What if I told you that a Hall of Famer is banned from any of my rosters? What if I told you we held a championship meeting at Scott's MOM's house? 30 for 30 presents... 2014: The Unofficial Season.
Found at the bottom of my ottoman, the first Unofficial Bro League Draft.
- Andy Todd (SpottieottieToddalicious)
- Darrin Aschebrook (Chowhounds)
- Nick Zurawski (Columbia > Cal)
- Scott Aschebrook (Badonk-A-Gronk)
- Tyler Sneen (Sneen Machine)
- Cal Thomas (Yale > Columbia)
- Joseph Benbow (Team Benbow)
- Noah Bakunowicz (Bachstreet Boys)
That list is noteworthy in that Cole Walters was busy seeing Star Wars or something and therefor, opted out of that fantasy football season quicker than Chiefs RB Damien Williams opted out of this pandemic season. Also absent? Alec Swanson (added in our first official season with Cole), Ryan Dougherty (added in 2017 to replace two-year owner Evan Moon) and Nathaniel Hoefs (a league rookie this season and the reason behind the most confusing schedule ever). That's right, this was even prior to one-off seasons from Josh Tiffany and Alex Silka and the Evan Moon tenure. Evan Moon once saw me at work and tried to get me to write for some fantasy football league of his (is it possible that this is a spin-off of the Bro League featuring owners from our first unofficial and official seasons? Somebody that knows them better should investigate.), I never heard back from him and I assume that league is now a giant pile of dust as a result.
The 2014 "League of Extraordinary Bros" saw Nick Zurawski as the unofficial league champion thanks to brilliant decision-making across the league like there being two starting quarterbacks in every lineup, absentee ownership on an inconsistent basis, zero keepers and me starting Johnny Manziel to the tune of 0 points in my battle for 5th-place week 16 as my former QB Ryan Tannehill led Nick to a trial-run championship. Looking at the Buffalo Wild Wings official draft board from that season, there are 50/136 skill players remaining from our 18-round 2014 draft in the NFL still but, that 50 includes names like 49ers IR'ed WR Tavon Austin and practice squad players like New York Giant RB Alfred Morris and Jaguar kicker Stephen Hauschka, not to mention the two retirees that came back in TEs Jason Witten & Rob Gronkowski. Ultimately, five owners and 21 players are still active in the WRBL from the 2014 draft right this very moment. The draft bust of 2014? Adrian Peterson for abusing his son and getting suspended for fifteen games after I took him third, prompting me to make an Adam Silver-inspired video where I banned the then-Viking RB from any of my fantasy teams FOR LIFE. Peyton Manning also was a first-rounder that year as I believe only he in 2014 and Patrick Mahomes in both 2019 & 2020 are the only two quarterbacks to be WRBL first-round picks (nobody fact check this, I am right. Source: Me). This would also be the last time Jimmy Graham was seen as worthy of a first-round pick before tearing his leg up in Seattle.
Now infamous for going 0-14, it's sort of hard to see how things got so bad for Bak in a season where he actually tried and set a lineup every week (unlike the 2-12 Josh Tiffany one year later). Sure, Gio Bernard never lived up to the hype his rookie season and the eye test provided but, his career is still playing out today as a tremendously impoverished Reggie Bush so, he's far from a clear "bust". Maybe Cordarrelle Patterson and Bishop Sankey were indicative of things to come as Bak just struggled to find role players that delivered around the seemingly strong core of Tom Brady, LeSean McCoy and a healthy Alshon Jeffery? Oh well, I guess that's just context we'll never be able to understand now along with why the hell Mike Evans and DeAndre Hopkins were 16th rounders (boy, this would have been WAY different as a keeper league) and Bak being the lone owner to wisely save his final two picks for his kicker and defense... Oh wait, Cal drafted NEITHER (<3 this strategy)
AP
Also, what the hell did I see in 4th-rounder Zac Stacy?
Week 4 should provide more clarity for our league as everybody is scrunched between 1-2 and 2-1 with the Tanner Glaza division holding the bottom three teams in scoring, the Steven Nett Division carrying the middle trio and the Shooter McGavin division putting up shootouts as Andy Todd's Christy Fichtner All-Stars have now gone from a weak week one of 73.74 points up to 144.78 in a week two win to a WRBL-record 207.7 in a highly upsetting loss for the league leader in points, 1-2 Ryan Dougherty. I hope to continue my pace reasonably (slow it down a bit, guys) by only going up to 250 points as I just need a top-4 scoring performance to avoid a loss or tie on bye. Also playing this week, Lamar Jackson looks to redeem himself after being held for under 100 passing yards in a close loss to SNEEN MACHINE by taking out the hypothetically 0-3 Sneen in this week's Nick vs. Sneen rematch. Thursday Night's Sam Darnold-Brett Rypien match is only relevant for the possibility of Cole using TE Noah Fant as Rypien's safety blanket as the prospective home owner traveling the country at a time it has never been less in vogue to travel faces the actual home owner and homebody Alec Swanson (I'm making a ton of assumptions here, feel free to call me out in the comment section, I will not be reading that). James Conner's game being pushed back means that the WRBL's newest owners will probably have their results unknown the longest as Nathaniel and Ryan each seek a .500 record as they just straight up hand Nick Zurawski their division. Lastly, Davante Adams' status also remains up in the air (along with Julio Jones' status) as the ChowHounds likely need the Packers' All-Pro for Monday Night Football against the Falcons as Darrin seeks to destroy his son this season, as he continues to look for ways to redeem himself from blowing a 96-point lead in the 2016 Shelby Bowl. Isn't history a wonderful thing? Let us learn from it.
TRADE: Cole has sent WR Robby Anderson to Sneen for RB Phillip Lindsay
BONUS: 2014 WRBL Rosters post-draft in an easier to read format
(Players sorted by position/career relevancy)
Bachstreet Boys (Noah)
QB
Tom Brady
Ben Roethlisberger
Jay Cutler
RB
LeSean McCoy
Lamar Miller
Giovani Bernard
Rashad Jennings
Terrance West
Bishop Sankey
Bernard Pierce
WR
Alshon Jeffery
Vincent Jackson
Coradarrelle Patterson
Terrance Williams
Michael Floyd
TE
Jordan Cameron
K
Blair Walsh
DF
New England Patriots
Yale > Columbia (Cal)
QB
Carson Palmer
Colin Kaepernick
RB
Jamaal Charles
Reggie Bush
Pierre Thomas
Andre Ellington
Montee' Ball
Joique Bell
WR
Andre Johnson
DeAndre Hopkins
Dez Bryant
Brandin Cooks
Eric Decker
Pierre Garcon
Michael Crabtree
Reuben Randle
TE
Greg Olson
Zach Ertz
SpottieOttieToddalicious (Andy)
QB
Russell Wilson
Cam Newton
Ryan Tannehill
Joe Flacco
RB
Adrian Peterson
Darren Sproles
Eddie Lacy
Shonn Greene
Zac Stacy
WR
Antonio Brown
Keenan Allen
Josh Gordon
Kelvin Benjamin
Kendall Wright
Andrew Hawkins
TE
Jason Witten
K
Justin Tucker
DF
Kansas City Chiefs
Badonk-A-Gronk (Scott)
QB
Matt Ryan
Matthew Stafford
Andy Dalton
RB
Matt Forte
Shane Vereen
James Starks
Toby Gerhart
WR
Brandon Marshall
Jordy Nelson
Julian Edelman
Emmanuel Sanders
DeSean Jackson
Jeremy Maclin
Justin Hunter
TE
Vernon Davis
Jordan Reed
K
Matt Prater
DF
St.Louis Rams
Chowhounds (Darrin)
QB
Philip Rivers
Sam Bradford
Robert Griffin III
RB
Le'Veon Bell
Ray Rice
Ryan Mathews
Danny Woodhead
Doug Martin
WR
Calvin Johnson
Julio Jones
Reggie Wayne
Mike Evans
A.J. Green
Dwayne Bowe
Cecil Shorts
TE
Antonio Gates
K
Dan Bailey
DF
Seattle Seahawks
Sneen Machine (Tyler)
QB
Drew Brees
Eli Manning
Nick Foles
Johnny Manziel
RB
Marshawn Lynch
Steven Jackson
DeAngelo Williams
Alfred Morris
Ben Tate
WR
Roddy White
Golden Tate
Randall Cobb
James Jones
Percy Harvin
TE
Julius Thomas
Dennis Pitta
K
Stephen Gostkowski
DF
Carolina Panthers
Team Benbow (Joe Benbow)
QB
Peyton Manning
Tony Romo
Josh McCown
RB
Frank Gore
C.J. Spiller
Trent Richardson
WR
Wes Welker
Demaryius Thomas
Anquan Boldin
T.Y. Hilton
Mike Wallace
Sammy Watkins
Jarrett Boykin
TE
Rob Gronkowski
Kyle Rudolph
Martellus Bennett
K
Steven Hauschka
DF
Chicago Bears
Columbia > Cal (Nick)
QB
Aaron Rodgers
Andrew Luck
RB
Chris Johnson
Maurice Jones-Drew
Arian Foster
DeMarco Murray
Fred Jackson
Stevan Ridley
WR
Larry Fitzgerald
Marques Colston
Victor Cruz
Torrey Smith
Tavon Austin
Riley Cooper
TE
Jimmy Graham
Charles Clay
K
Sebastian Janikowski
DF
San Francisco 49ers
2020 WRBL Scoring Leaders
QB
Russell Wilson 102.0 (Ryan)
Patrick Mahomes 87.92 (Andy)
Matt Ryan 63.84 (Sneen)
Joe Burrow 61.24 (Alec)
Lamar Jackson 59.24 (Nick)
Kyler Murray 53.84 (Cole)
Tom Brady 53.02 (Darrin)
DeShaun Watson 52.58 (Hoefs)
Dak Prescott 45.12 (Scott)
Josh Allen 28.18 (Cole)
Aaron Rodgers 19.20 (Scott)
RB
Alvin Kamara 106.8 (Darrin)
Aaron Jones 79.8 (Ryan)
Ezekiel Elliott 67.7 (Alec)
Dalvin Cook 64.8 (Sneen)
Austin Ekeler 61.8 (Andy)
Josh Jacobs 58.7 (Scott)
Nick Chubb 55.9 (Sneen)
Chris Carson 55.0 (Ryan)
Christian McCaffrey 53.2 (Scott)
Derrick Henry 51.5 (Cole)
Clyde Edwards-Helaire 51.2 (Scott)
James Conner 48.7 (Hoefs)
Jonathan Taylor 47.1 (Alec)
Melvin Gordon 39.8 (Darrin)
David Johnson 39.5 (Nick)
Todd Gurley 35.0 (Darrin)
Kenyan Drake 34.9 (Nick)
James Robinson 30.9 (Andy)
Joe Mixon 27.2 (Andy)
Jerick McKinnon 16.7 (Hoefs)
Saquon Barkley 15.4 (Nick)
Miles Sanders 14.7 (Alec)
Myles Gaskin 14.5 (Cole)
Kareem Hunt 14.4 (Nick)
Ronald Jones 10.7 (Hoefs)
James White 8.2 (Hoefs)
Boston Scott 7.4 (Cole)
J.K. Dobbins 7.1 (Cole)
Le'Veon Bell 6.6 (Andy)
WR
Calvin Ridley 80.5 (Nick)
Tyler Lockett 73.9 (Alec)
DeAndre Hopkins 73.6 (Cole)
Tyreek Hill 58.6 (Hoefs)
Keenan Allen 54.5 (Andy)
JuJu Smith-Schuster 53.0 (Sneen)
Robert Woods 50.6 (Nick)
Adam Thielen 49.4 (Darrin)
Davante Adams 48.2 (Darrin)
Allen Robinson 46.9 (Alec)
Cooper Kupp 46.7 (Andy)
D.J. Moore 37.9 (Hoefs)
Mike Evans 37.6 (Ryan)
Diontae Johnson 33.8 (Ryan)
Amari Cooper 33.6 (Scott)
Stefon Diggs 31.5 (Sneen)
Chris Godwin 31.3 (Cole)
Marvin Jones 29.9 (Hoefs)
Odell Beckham Jr. 29.5 (Scott)
Julio Jones 29.1 (Sneen)
Allen Lazard 25.7 (Cole)
Jamison Crowder 24.5 (Ryan)
DK Metcalf 19.0 (Darrin)
Robby Anderson 17.9 (Cole)
DeVante Parker 11.9 (Cole)
CeeDee Lamb 11.6 (Scott)
Terry McLaurin 11.1 (Alec)
Jerry Jeudy 10.5 (Ryan)
T.Y. Hilton 9.3 (Scott)
Marquise Brown 9.2 (Alec)
Darius Slayton 6.3 (Ryan)
A.J. Green 5.9 (Andy)
Michael Thomas 4.7 (Ryan)
Julian Edelman 4.2 (Sneen)
Emmanuel Sanders 2.8 (Sneen)
TE
Travis Kelce 55.7 (Hoefs)
Darren Waller 41.7 (Ryan)
Tyler Higbee 36.4 (Nick)
Jonnu Smith 35.5 (Andy)
Zach Ertz 34.0 (Scott)
Hayden Hurst 32.1 (Alec)
Mark Andrews 31.9 (Darrin)
Noah Fant 28.7 (Cole)
Evan Engram 15.4 (Sneen)
T.J. Hockenson 10.2 (Cole)
Hunter Henry 10 (Sneen)
George Kittle 9.3 (Nick)
Blake Jarwin 2.2 (Andy)
K
Justin Tucker 34 (Scott)
Rodrigo Blankenship 33 (Andy)
Wil Lutz 29 (Hoefs)
Mason Crosby 27 (Cole)
Matt Prater 27 (Alec)
Harrison Butker 26 (Sneen)
Jake Elliott 25 (Ryan)
Greg Zuerlein 24 (Darrin)
Chris Boswell 23 (Nick)
Ka'imi Fairbairn 1 (Cole)
DF
Indianapolis Colts 33 (Andy/Ryan)
Pittsburgh Steelers 32 (Hoefs)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 30 (Andy)
Baltimore Ravens 28 (Alec)
San Francisco 49ers 20 (Sneen)
Los Angeles Chargers 16 (Cole/Scott)
Chicago Bears 13 (Scott)
Cleveland Browns 13 (Nick)
New England Patriots 12 (Ryan)
Arizona Cardinals 9 (Nick)
Buffalo Bills 9 (Darrin)
Philadelphia Eagles 5 (Nick)
New Orleans Saints 3 (Ryan)
Atlanta Falcons 2 (Cole)
Kansas City Chiefs -1 (Cole)
Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose, 5th = BYE)
The Golladay Inn 2-0
Christy Fichtner All-Stars 2-1
Team ChowHounds 2-1
Colieveland 96ers 2-1
Free Chiquita 2-1
Tax Paying Homeowner 1-1
Rise From The Asch3s 1-1
Team Hoefs 0-3
SNEEN MACHINE 0-3
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