WRBL Week 13, 2019

Wisconsin Rapids Bro League

Week 13
Our 5th official season of blaming Cole Walters for Jason Garrett getting a head coaching gig in the first place.

Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks)
Steven Nett Division
Rise From The Asches (Scott Aschebrook) 8-5 L2
Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 6-7 W1
Team Easy Breesy (Ryan Dougherty) 6-7 W2
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 3-10 L1

Shooter McGavin Division
30 to 50 Feral Hogs (Andy Todd) 10-3 L2
SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 8-5 W2
Navy Is Illiterate (Nick Zurawski) 6-7 W2
Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 5-8 L2

Week Thirteen Final Scores
DARRIN  116 - ALEC  104
NICK  109 - COLE  69
RYAN  123 - SCOTT  84
SNEEN  139 - ANDY  101

Heroes of the Week: QB Aaron Rodgers (27 points), WR Davante Adams (24), QB Carson Wentz (24)

Adam Hunger, AP
Hero of the Week: QB Aaron Rodgers (SNEEN MACHINE)

Zeros of the Week: DF Philadelphia Eagles (-1, Alec), RB Ronald Jones Jr. (Sneen), WR Tyler Lockett (Andy)

Waiver Wonders: WR Alshon Jeffery (28 points), RB Rashaad Penny (26), QB Ryan Fitzpatrick (26)

Brynn Anderson/AP
Waiver Wonder: WR Alshon Jeffery (9 catches, 137, 1 TD)

Upcoming Week 14 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)

Cole vs. Ryan
Alec vs. Nick
Andy vs. Darrin
Scott vs. Sneen

Thursday Night Football: Dallas @ Chicago 7:20 PM

Sunday NOON: Cincinnati @ Cleveland

Baltimore @ Buffalo

Washington @ Green Bay

Carolina @ Atlanta

Denver @ Houston

Detroit @ Minnesota

San Francisco @ New Orleans
Miami @ NY Jets
Indianapolis @ Tampa Bay

3:05 PM: LA Chargers @ Jacksonville

3:25 PM: Kansas City @ New England
Pittsburgh @ Arizona
Tennessee @ Oakland

Sunday Night Football: Seattle @ LA Rams 7:20 PM

Monday Night Football: NY Giants @ Philadelphia 7:15 PM

Bro...

Seven of the eight Bro League teams are technically alive with one weeks' worth of games separating us from the postseason. Yeah, three of the four playoff teams are already set (SNEEN, Scott & Andy) and Alec would need all three of Nick, Darrin and Ryan to lose in addition to him outscoring them all by a possible yet wildly unrealistic amount of points (The worst being Alec needing to outscore Nick by 80+ points) but, my point still stands. Everybody but Cole is alive and well (Send Kathy my regards) and even the 96ers have something to play for as the 2016 champion could play spoiler against 2017 champion Ryan Dougherty and his 6-7 Team Easy Breesy. Also not really having anything major to play for other than respect, my 30-50 Feral Hogs have locked up the #1 seed (thanks to Scott's loss this week) and could still play spoiler against Darrin's 6-7 ChowHounds. Win or lose, I look forward to causing additional misery to some sub-.500 team owners.

Week 13 of the 2019 WRBL season was one to forget for many of us. In a year filled with pretty consistent scoring, two teams had sub-100 point totals this week and not one week after I set the season-low for point scored in a week, Cole and his 96ers broke that record with a very NICE 69. When your top scorer is a 13-point week from Jarvis Landry, you probably don't deserve better than a 3-10 record. The beneficiary of this lackluster showing was Nick, who will now take his 6-7 talents to a highly-anticipated match with Alec, who should have Julio Jones back this week against Carolina and needs to outscore Nick by 80 points or higher to achieve the latest unbelievable feat in a league that has seen a 96-point lead blown. Coming into the week, Ryan had worse playoff odds than Alec but that all changed with one surprising blowout of an upset thanks to another no-show from Scott's studs like Mike Evans (9 points), Nick Chubb (8) and the Patriots' faltering defense (4). Rise From The Asches is looking for a return to form this week (along with officially locking down the #2 seed) against SNEEN MACHINE. No matter the result, those two will face each other in the first round of the playoffs.

Brynn Anderson/AP
In a loss to the Dolphins, Carson Wentz was Scott's only studly fantasy performer this week.

Life is just one constant cycle of looking at your fantasy roster and saying "Hmm, feels like a James White week". This week, I didn't get that same feeling and lost as a result of said roster mismanagement. Of course with James White's 36 points in, I still would have lost to the SNEEN MACHINE but, it would have made for a far more eventful Monday nighter between Dalvin Cook's quiet game and Tyler Lockett's literal zero production. Oh well, we're both in the playoffs. The lone Week 13 match worth any hype was Alec's surprising loss to Darrin, which was only surprising because after Sunday, Kyle Rudolph (+ a 9 point lead) versus Russell Wilson seemed like an unavoidable Alec comeback and if one would have told the Tax Paying Homeowner that the Vikings lost 30-37 with zero context on who scored, he'd have probably taken that. Unfortunately for him yet fortunately for Darrin, Russell Wilson had 16 points and Kyle Rudolph responded with a surprising 15 points and a touchdown. Thus continues the unexpected re-emergence of the Vikings' Tight End, who has six touchdowns over his past six games after grabbing just 9 passes total in the Vikes' first six games. 

Things are about to explode into a storm after this quiet week and hopefully my schedule eases up a bit so that I can deliver the WRBL Review on it's regular date before two teams put up surprising performances like the Bears and 'Boys just did. This week, we get the return of Eli!, Bills v. Baltimore, the Colts and Bucs fighting for their lives in playoff relevancy and the biggest game of the year so far, Chiefs at Patriots. If you aren't familiar with these two, the Patriots constantly win with the same damn people every. single. time. And it's not always fun. The Chiefs are on their fifth or sixth different iteration of their franchise in the Brady/Belichick era, are way more fun and have these exciting newer guys (Tyreek Hill, Travis Kelce, Patrick Mahomes) that somehow find a way to blow it every time thanks to Andy Reid, poor defense or just bad luck. We all think we know how this one ends but maybe, JUST MAYBE, this is the time Kansas City pulls it off. 

Billie Weiss/Getty
"Hmmmm, no." 

Scoring Leaders

QB

Lamar Jackson 284 (Nick)

Russell Wilson 234 (Andy/Alec)

Aaron Rodgers 216 (Sneen)

Patrick Mahomes 205 (Cole/Andy)

DeShaun Watson 194 (Darrin)

Kyler Murray 134 (Scott)

Tom Brady 130 (Andy)

Drew Brees 108 (Ryan)

Carson Wentz 86 (Scott)

Dak Prescott 74 (Darrin)

Josh Allen 50 (Ryan/Sneen)

Gardner Minshew II 40 (Ryan)

Jameis Winston 37 (Cole)

Sam Darnold 36 (Cole)

Kirk Cousins 31 (Nick/Scott)
Jacoby Brissett 26 (Ryan/Cole/Alec)

Matthew Stafford 24 (Ryan)
Baker Mayfield 23 (Scott)

Daniel Jones 21 (Andy)

Derek Carr 19 (Cole)

Matt Ryan 18 (Nick)

Cam Newton 16 (Alec)

RB

Christian McCaffrey 343 (Scott)

Dalvin Cook 259 (Sneen)

Derrick Henry 211 (Darrin)

Ezekiel Elliott 204 (Ryan)

Leonard Fournette 202 (Nick)

Nick Chubb 198 (Scott)

Alvin Kamara 185 (Darrin)

Aaron Jones 184 (Ryan)

Mark Ingram 176 (Andy/Cole)

Le'Veon Bell 168 (Darrin)

Austin Ekeler 155 (Andy)

Todd Gurley 131 (Ryan)

Marlon Mack 124 (Alec)

Saquon Barkley 117 (Alec)

David Johnson 115 (Nick)

Josh Jacobs 102 (Nick)

Melvin Gordon 101 (Cole)

James Conner 92 (Sneen)

Devonta Freeman 87 (Scott)

Tevin Coleman 81 (Sneen)

Joe Mixon 65 (Cole)

Tarik Cohen 53 (Alec)

Chris Carson 45 (Nick)

Miles Sanders 38 (Alec)

Latavius Murray 36 (Scott)

Kerryon Johnson 35 (Andy)

Damien Williams 33 (Sneen/Andy)

Phillip Lindsay 27 (Andy)

LeSean McCoy 25 (Cole/Darrin)

Jaylen Samuels 24 (Andy/Sneen)

James White 24 (Andy)

Frank Gore 23 (Cole/Darrin)

Ronald Jones II 21 (Sneen)

Chris Thompson 18 (Cole)

Kenyan Drake 17 (Cole/Alec)

Devin Singletary 15 (Andy)

Brian Hill 9 (Scott)
Sony Michel 7 (Cole)

David Montgomery 7 (Scott/Nick)

Duke Johnson 3 (Andy)
Jonathan Williams 3 (Scott)

Chase Edmonds 2 (Nick)

WR

Michael Thomas 270 (Andy)

DeAndre Hopkins 211 (Nick)

Mike Evans 206 (Scott)

Julian Edelman 204 (Sneen)

Chris Godwin 198 (Cole)

Julio Jones 178 (Alec)

Amari Cooper 164 (Darrin)

Keenan Allen 155 (Alec)

Allen Robinson 150 (Ryan)

Cooper Kupp 139 (Andy)

Davante Adams 133 (Sneen)

Tyreek Hill 125 (Ryan)

Odell Beckham Jr. 121 (Nick)

John Brown 116 (Darrin)

Adam Thielen 103 (Andy)

Tyler Lockett 101 (Cole/Andy)

T.Y. Hilton 99 (Cole)

Kenny Golladay 88 (Alec)

Marvin Jones Jr. 85 (Ryan)

Emmanuel Sanders 76 (Scott)

D.J. Moore 66 (Alec)

Courtland Sutton 66 (Alec)

Calvin Ridley 65 (Sneen)

JuJu Smith-Schuster 64 (Andy)

Golden Tate 64 (Scott)

Tyrell Williams 61 (Cole)

Brandin Cooks 58 (Ryan)

DJ Chark 57 (Cole)

Stefon Diggs 50 (Alec/Nick)

Jarvis Landry 50 (Scott/Cole)

Tyler Boyd 42 (Nick)

Sterling Shepard 35 (Darrin)

Deebo Samuel 34 (Scott)

Robert Woods 29 (Sneen)

Alshon Jeffery 28 (Darrin)

Sammy Watkins 27 (Nick)

Mohamed Sanu 26 (Sneen)

Larry Fitzgerald 22 (Sneen)

Antonio Brown 15 (Darrin)

Michael Gallup 11 (Andy)

Devante Parker 11 (Cole)

Will Fuller V 10 (Ryan)

Christian Kirk 10 (Cole)

Auden Tate 9 (Alec)

Marquise Brown 6 (Alec)
DK Metcalf 6 (Ryan)

Curtis Samuel 6 (Darrin)

Terry McLaurin 2 (Scott)

TE

Travis Kelce 179 (Andy)

Zach Ertz 157 (Sneen)

George Kittle 136 (Cole)

Darren Waller 119 (Nick)

Evan Engram 105 (Darrin)

Austin Hooper 103 (Scott)

Hunter Henry 78 (Ryan/Alec)

Mark Andrews 41 (Nick/Ryan)

Greg Olsen 35 (Cole/Nick/Scott)

Jared Cook 32 (Scott/Darrin/Cole)

Vance McDonald 31 (Alec)

Will Dissly 30 (Alec)

Delanie Walker 30 (Ryan)

Gerald Everett 17 (Ryan/Sneen)

Kyle Rudolph 15 (Darrin)

David Njoku 12 (Nick)

Jason Witten 10 (Ryan/Darrin)

Gerald Everett 7 (Darrin)

Darren Fells 7 (Scott)

Dallas Goedert 7 (Ryan)

Jimmy Graham 7 (Ryan)
Jacob Hollister 4 (Andy)

Mike Gesicki 3 (Cole)

T.J. Hockenson 1 (Scott)

PK

Harrison Butker 121 (Nick)

Wil Lutz 121 (Andy/Sneen)

Justin Tucker 118 (Alec/Andy)

Greg Zuerlein 84 (Ryan/Darrin)

Jake Elliott 58 (Sneen)

Robbie Gould 48 (Cole/Scott)

Matt Gay 45 (Ryan)

Matt Prater 43 (Alec)

Mason Crosby 37 (Cole)

Josh Lambo 34 (Darrin)

Stephen Gostkowski 32 (Darrin)

Ka'imi Fairbairn 24 (Scott/Nick)

Chris Boswell 21 (Cole)

Zane Gonzalez 21 (Darrin)

Austin Seibert 19 (Scott)

Younghoe Koo 18 (Cole)

Mike Nugent 13 (Scott)

Adam Vinatieri 13 (Cole)

Michael Badgley 6 (Scott)

Joey Slye 2 (Darrin)

DF

New England Patriots 172 (Scott)

Buffalo Bills 99 (Darrin)

New Orleans Saints 86 (Alec/Sneen)

Chicago Bears 72 (Nick)

Los Angeles Rams 70 (Sneen/Andy)

Baltimore Ravens 67 (Andy/Nick/Andy)

Pittsburgh Steelers 67 (Cole/Ryan)

Los Angeles Chargers 57 (Ryan)

Carolina Panthers 38 (Cole/Darrin/Alec/Nick)

Dallas Cowboys 35 (Andy/Cole/Sneen)

Philadelphia Eagles 34 (Cole/Alec)

San Francisco 49ers 31 (Andy/Nick)

Jacksonville Jaguars 26 (Scott/Cole)

Cleveland Browns 13 (Cole)

Oakland Raiders 13 (Alec)

Washington 12 (Andy)

New York Jets 11 (Cole)
Tennessee Titans 7 (Andy)

Minnesota Vikings 3 (Scott)

New York Giants 3 (Cole)

Arizona Cardinals 2 (Cole)

Seattle Seahawks 2 (Andy)

Denver Broncos 1 (Cole)

Hypothetical Standings

30 to 50 Feral Hogs 9-4

Rise From The Asches 8-5

SNEEN MACHINE 7-6

Tax Paying Homeowner 7-6

Navy Is Illiterate 6-7

Team ChowHounds 6-7

Team Easy Breesy 5-8

Colieveland 96ers 4-9