Week 11
Our 5th official season of blaming Cole Walters for frost warnings.
Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks)
Steven Nett Division
Rise From The Asches (Scott Aschebrook) 8-3 W4
Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 5-6 L1
Team Easy Breesy (Ryan Dougherty) 4-7 L1
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 2-9 W1
Shooter McGavin Division
30 to 50 Feral Hogs (Andy Todd) 10-1 W3
SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 6-5 L2
Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 5-6 W1
Navy Is Illiterate (Nick Zurawski) 4-7 L3
ANDY 119 - NICK 118
COLE 111 - SNEEN 107
ALEC 128 - RYAN 110
SCOTT 114 - DARRIN 107
Heroes of the Week: WR John Brown (34 points), QB Josh Allen (33), QB Lamar Jackson (31)
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| (James P. McCoy/Buffalo News) Hero of the Week: WR John Brown (The Wisconsin ChowHounds) |
Waiver Wonders: QB Jeff Driskel (27 points), QB Sam Darnold (25), WR Michael Gallup (23)
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| Leon Halip/Getty Images Waiver Wonder: QB Jeff Driskel (15/26-209-2-0, 51 Rushing yards, 1 TD) |
Alec vs. Sneen
Scott vs. Nick
Cole vs. Darrin
Andy vs. Ryan
Scott vs. Nick
Cole vs. Darrin
Andy vs. Ryan
Thursday Night Football: Indianapolis @ Houston 7:20 PM
Sunday NOON: Tampa Bay @ Atlanta
Denver @ Buffalo
NY Giants @ Chicago
Pittsburgh @ Cincinnati
Miami @ Cleveland
Carolina @ New Orleans
Oakland @ NY Jets
Seattle @ Philadelphia
Detroit @ Washington
Sunday NOON: Tampa Bay @ Atlanta
Denver @ Buffalo
NY Giants @ Chicago
Pittsburgh @ Cincinnati
Miami @ Cleveland
Carolina @ New Orleans
Oakland @ NY Jets
Seattle @ Philadelphia
Detroit @ Washington
3:05 PM: Jacksonville @ Tennessee
3:25 PM: Dallas @ New England
Sunday Night Football: Green Bay @ San Francisco 7:20 PM
Monday Night Football: Baltimore @ LA Rams 7:15 PM
BYE WEEKS: Kansas City, Minnesota, LA Chargers, Arizona
One more week until Thanksgiving football! This year, I'm thankful for Patrick Mahomes' (who is not Christian McCaffrey) knee. Not only is it scientifically impossible to break (or something complicated that only kept him out for two games, enough time for me to swindle Cold Waters for him) but also because it helped Nick tie my 30-50 Feral Hogs to keep the wildcard race tighter than that hit of crystal that Tuco Salamanca took in the junk yard during season 1 of Breaking Bad. Speaking of breaking bad, Cole Walters finally BROKE his BAD losing streak of nine games with a shocking upset over Sneen Machine. With Sneen's loss and my non-loss, it is now impossible for anyone to win the Shooter McGavin division besides Andy Todd's 30-50 Feral Hogs. Anything I do for the next three weeks is strictly for seeding purposes with Scott still 1.5 games back for the #1 seed. If the history of the WRBL has taught us anything, it's that a four-team playoff's seeding does not matter when it comes down to one week each of playoff competition (as long as you're in it) so, I'm just happy to not be Sacko'ed.
Our fifth season of fantastic fantasy football fun has seen some highlights and lowlights for the NFL but, there haven't been many lower moments than what transpired Thursday night during the Steelers-Browns game when Mason Rudolph with his head so bright decided with Myles Garrett is whom he chose to fight (this is an excerpt from the "Rudolph, the no-brained QB" Christmas parody that I will never write but dammit, somebody from Pittsburgh should finish this half-baked idea). In a moment that Joe Buck should have saved all of the vitriol he showed Randy Moss during the mooning Packer fans incident of 15+ years ago for, Garrett took Rudolph to the ground, Rudolph pulled off Garrett's helmet and then the Browns defense starlet took his frustrations out on Big Ben's understudy with the Dude-olph's own thinker-protector. Now if I were part of Garrett's PR team, I would realize that this is not an isolated incident but going forward IF he stays out of trouble on and off the field, this could be an incredible marketing opportunity going forward. For instance, how does one rebuild the nation's good will towards himself after publicly bashing in a player's noggin with a football helmet in a nationally televised game? Use your time under suspension to do great things or at least fun things within the community. Acts of charity? Reach out to J.J. Watt and figure out how to become the ambassador to your team's city the way that that man has. Having fun with said controversial incident that led to your temporary banishment? Spend Black Friday acting as security at a major place of retail while holding a Steelers helmet (in Cleveland of course). One does not have to go to years of therapy or completely change their identity the way that Metta World Peace (FKA: Ron Artest) did in order to be both "That crazy dude that attempted to seriously incapacitate a quarterback on national TV" and "That Browns' All-Pro Defensive End that I like". It's up to Garrett and his team of people (agents, family, friends, teammates, Browns' PR guys, etc.) on how they want to continue his time in the limelight but, simply going silent and letting THIS stand as THE moment we'll all remember from his time on this planet... That's no way to go. Mason Rudolph? Sorry you got your clock knocked but, you started it. I'm not saying that's how this should have ended up but, a punch would've been reasonable. Best of luck to you both on your way out of our collective consciousnesses for the remainder of the 2019 NFL season.
Thankfully, that awful game had no effect on the league outside of some Odell Beckham Jr. points (10 to be exact) and the re-aggravation of James Conner's shoulder injury (which sucked). The most-hyped game of the weekend was that of the Texans in Baltimore playing the Ravens led by the innovative emperor of offense in Lamar Jackson. Not only did Jackson sport some seriously cool shades on the sideline but, he also sported a 32-point Hero of the Week performance on a potential AFC playoff-worthy defense and earned Nick's Navy Is Illiterate a tie. The impact was not done just by the obvious MVP candidate either as Mark Ingram caught his first two RECEIVING touchdowns of the season and continued his value (that I personally thought COULD drop off but, it is not looking like that is to be the case at all), giving Cole enough for a 4-point victory over Tyler Sneen. Another huge and quite surprising factor in this game was the total domination of Houston's offense by the Ravens' defense. I dropped Baltimore's defense headed into this week because they simply weren't facing the Bengals anymore and the matchup of the LA Rams (led by Aaron Donald, Jalen Ramsey and Eric Weddle) versus Mitsubishi (Mitch Trubisky) and the Bears was too enticing for me to pass up. Ten points was nice but, Baltimore's defense erased DeShaun Watson (holding him to 3 points) and gave Darrin an important loss to Scott that keeps the race for the 2nd wildcard between him, Alec and Nick with Ryan a longshot after his loss to the Tax Paying Homeowner.
BREAKING WRBL NEWS:
Somebody call Al Gore and tell him about the real Inconvenient Truth that I have just discovered because, A STAT CORRECTION HAS BEEN MADE BY not ESPN.com but, THE NFL...
Lamar Jackson took a seven-yard sack on Sunday that is now being called a -7 yard run that knocks him down from 86 rushing yards to 79, 1 yard short of tying Nick and I's match. This comes after Patrick Mahomes took a knee on the final play of Monday Night Football, knocking HIM down from 60 rushing yards to 59. I know I use hyperbole sometimes too often with this league BUT, this is easily the craziest non-96 point comeback switcharoo in league history, is it not?
The rest of this week's review is canceled because I'm in shock and need to fix a few things. Comment below as I check in on Nick Zurawski's mental health (now @ 4-7 and full game out of the 2nd wildcard instead of 0.5). I'll be back next week with more of a league-wide recap instead of whatever this is. Throw it in a time capsule folks, this is a weird one.
Russell Wilson 209 (Andy/Alec)
Aaron Rodgers 180 (Sneen)
Tom Brady 119 (Andy)
Carson Wentz 62 (Scott)
Gardner Minshew II 40 (Ryan)
Matthew Stafford 24 (Ryan)
Derrick Henry 162 (Darrin)
Le'Veon Bell 144 (Darrin)
David Johnson 115 (Nick)
James Conner 92 (Sneen)
Devonta Freeman 87 (Scott)
Latavius Murray 36 (Scott)
Sony Michel 7 (Cole)
Amari Cooper 148 (Darrin)
John Brown 95 (Darrin)
T.Y. Hilton 95 (Cole)
Emmanuel Sanders 76 (Scott)
Tyrell Williams 61 (Cole)
Stefon Diggs 42 (Alec/Nick)
Sterling Shepard 35 (Darrin)
George Kittle 109 (Cole)
Will Dissly 30 (Alec)
Gerald Everett 17 (Ryan/Sneen)
Stephen Gostkowski 32 (Darrin)
Ka'imi Fairbairn 16 (Scott)
New Orleans Saints 67 (Alec)
Philadelphia Eagles 35 (Cole)
Jacksonville Jaguars 26 (Scott/Cole)
Bro...
Our fifth season of fantastic fantasy football fun has seen some highlights and lowlights for the NFL but, there haven't been many lower moments than what transpired Thursday night during the Steelers-Browns game when Mason Rudolph with his head so bright decided with Myles Garrett is whom he chose to fight (this is an excerpt from the "Rudolph, the no-brained QB" Christmas parody that I will never write but dammit, somebody from Pittsburgh should finish this half-baked idea). In a moment that Joe Buck should have saved all of the vitriol he showed Randy Moss during the mooning Packer fans incident of 15+ years ago for, Garrett took Rudolph to the ground, Rudolph pulled off Garrett's helmet and then the Browns defense starlet took his frustrations out on Big Ben's understudy with the Dude-olph's own thinker-protector. Now if I were part of Garrett's PR team, I would realize that this is not an isolated incident but going forward IF he stays out of trouble on and off the field, this could be an incredible marketing opportunity going forward. For instance, how does one rebuild the nation's good will towards himself after publicly bashing in a player's noggin with a football helmet in a nationally televised game? Use your time under suspension to do great things or at least fun things within the community. Acts of charity? Reach out to J.J. Watt and figure out how to become the ambassador to your team's city the way that that man has. Having fun with said controversial incident that led to your temporary banishment? Spend Black Friday acting as security at a major place of retail while holding a Steelers helmet (in Cleveland of course). One does not have to go to years of therapy or completely change their identity the way that Metta World Peace (FKA: Ron Artest) did in order to be both "That crazy dude that attempted to seriously incapacitate a quarterback on national TV" and "That Browns' All-Pro Defensive End that I like". It's up to Garrett and his team of people (agents, family, friends, teammates, Browns' PR guys, etc.) on how they want to continue his time in the limelight but, simply going silent and letting THIS stand as THE moment we'll all remember from his time on this planet... That's no way to go. Mason Rudolph? Sorry you got your clock knocked but, you started it. I'm not saying that's how this should have ended up but, a punch would've been reasonable. Best of luck to you both on your way out of our collective consciousnesses for the remainder of the 2019 NFL season.
 |
| David Richard/AP Accidental Renaissance Portrait courtesy of Thursday Night Football. |
Thankfully, that awful game had no effect on the league outside of some Odell Beckham Jr. points (10 to be exact) and the re-aggravation of James Conner's shoulder injury (which sucked). The most-hyped game of the weekend was that of the Texans in Baltimore playing the Ravens led by the innovative emperor of offense in Lamar Jackson. Not only did Jackson sport some seriously cool shades on the sideline but, he also sported a 32-point Hero of the Week performance on a potential AFC playoff-worthy defense and earned Nick's Navy Is Illiterate a tie. The impact was not done just by the obvious MVP candidate either as Mark Ingram caught his first two RECEIVING touchdowns of the season and continued his value (that I personally thought COULD drop off but, it is not looking like that is to be the case at all), giving Cole enough for a 4-point victory over Tyler Sneen. Another huge and quite surprising factor in this game was the total domination of Houston's offense by the Ravens' defense. I dropped Baltimore's defense headed into this week because they simply weren't facing the Bengals anymore and the matchup of the LA Rams (led by Aaron Donald, Jalen Ramsey and Eric Weddle) versus Mitsubishi (Mitch Trubisky) and the Bears was too enticing for me to pass up. Ten points was nice but, Baltimore's defense erased DeShaun Watson (holding him to 3 points) and gave Darrin an important loss to Scott that keeps the race for the 2nd wildcard between him, Alec and Nick with Ryan a longshot after his loss to the Tax Paying Homeowner.
BREAKING WRBL NEWS:
Somebody call Al Gore and tell him about the real Inconvenient Truth that I have just discovered because, A STAT CORRECTION HAS BEEN MADE BY not ESPN.com but, THE NFL...
Lamar Jackson took a seven-yard sack on Sunday that is now being called a -7 yard run that knocks him down from 86 rushing yards to 79, 1 yard short of tying Nick and I's match. This comes after Patrick Mahomes took a knee on the final play of Monday Night Football, knocking HIM down from 60 rushing yards to 59. I know I use hyperbole sometimes too often with this league BUT, this is easily the craziest non-96 point comeback switcharoo in league history, is it not?
The rest of this week's review is canceled because I'm in shock and need to fix a few things. Comment below as I check in on Nick Zurawski's mental health (now @ 4-7 and full game out of the 2nd wildcard instead of 0.5). I'll be back next week with more of a league-wide recap instead of whatever this is. Throw it in a time capsule folks, this is a weird one.
Scoring Leaders
QB
Lamar Jackson 227 (Nick)
Patrick Mahomes 186 (Cole/Andy)
DeShaun Watson 176 (Darrin)
Kyler Murray 134 (Scott)
Drew Brees 75 (Ryan)
Dak Prescott 52 (Darrin)
Josh Allen 50 (Ryan/Sneen)
Jameis Winston 37 (Cole)
Kirk Cousins 31 (Nick/Scott)
Jacoby Brissett 26 (Ryan/Cole/Alec)
Daniel Jones 21 (Andy)
Derek Carr 19 (Cole)
Matt Ryan 18 (Nick)
Cam Newton 16 (Alec)
RB
Christian McCaffrey 294 (Scott)
Dalvin Cook 247 (Sneen)
Aaron Jones 175 (Ryan)
Ezekiel Elliott 168 (Ryan)
Nick Chubb 166 (Scott)
Leonard Fournette 149 (Nick)
Mark Ingram 145 (Andy/Cole)
Alvin Kamara 141 (Darrin)
Austin Ekeler 139 (Andy)
Marlon Mack 124 (Alec)
Saquon Barkley 110 (Alec)
Todd Gurley 108 (Ryan)
Melvin Gordon 89 (Cole)
Josh Jacobs 88 (Nick)
Tevin Coleman 69 (Sneen)
Joe Mixon 58 (Cole)
Chris Carson 36 (Nick)
Tarik Cohen 36 (Alec)
Kerryon Johnson 35 (Andy)
Damien Williams 33 (Sneen/Andy)
LeSean McCoy 25 (Cole/Darrin)
Frank Gore 23 (Cole/Darrin)
James White 23 (Andy)
Ronald Jones II 21 (Sneen)
Phillip Lindsay 19 (Andy)
Jaylen Samuels 19 (Andy)
Chris Thompson 18 (Cole)
Kenyan Drake 17 (Cole/Alec)
Miles Sanders 17 (Alec)
Devin Singletary 15 (Andy)
David Montgomery 7 (Scott/Nick)
Brian Hill 4 (Scott)
Chase Edmonds 2 (Nick)
WR
Michael Thomas 234 (Andy)
Mike Evans 197 (Scott)
DeAndre Hopkins 169 (Nick)
Julio Jones 167 (Alec)
Julian Edelman 165 (Sneen)
Chris Godwin 152 (Cole)
Keenan Allen 137 (Alec)
Tyreek Hill 115 (Ryan)
Cooper Kupp 112 (Andy)
Adam Thielen 103 (Andy)
Allen Robinson 103 (Ryan)
Tyler Lockett 97 (Cole/Andy)
Odell Beckham Jr. 96 (Nick)
Davante Adams 90 (Sneen)
Kenny Golladay 88 (Alec)
Marvin Jones Jr. 85 (Ryan)
JuJu Smith-Schuster 64 (Andy)
Golden Tate 64 (Scott)
Courtland Sutton 63 (Alec)
Brandin Cooks 58 (Ryan)
Tyler Boyd 42 (Nick)
DJ Chark 41 (Cole)
Jarvis Landry 37 (Scott/Cole)
Robert Woods 29 (Sneen)
Alshon Jeffery 28 (Darrin)
Calvin Ridley 27 (Sneen)
Sammy Watkins 27 (Nick)
Mohamed Sanu 26 (Sneen)
Larry Fitzgerald 22 (Sneen)
Deebo Samuel 21 (Scott)
D.J. Moore 17 (Alec)
Antonio Brown 15 (Darrin)
Michael Gallup 11 (Andy)
Devante Parker 11 (Cole)
Will Fuller V 10 (Ryan)
Christian Kirk 10 (Cole)
Auden Tate 9 (Alec)
Marquise Brown 6 (Alec)
Curtis Samuel 6 (Darrin)
Terry McLaurin 2 (Scott)
TE
Travis Kelce 165 (Andy)
Zach Ertz 125 (Sneen)
Evan Engram 105 (Darrin)
Austin Hooper 103 (Scott)
Darren Waller 95 (Nick)
Hunter Henry 75 (Ryan/Alec)
Jared Cook 32 (Scott/Darrin/Cole)
Vance McDonald 30 (Alec)
Delanie Walker 30 (Ryan)
Mark Andrews 21 (Nick/Ryan)
Greg Olsen 21 (Cole/Nick/Scott)
David Njoku 12 (Nick)
Jason Witten 10 (Ryan/Darrin)
Darren Fells 7 (Scott)
Dallas Goedert 7 (Ryan)
Jimmy Graham 7 (Ryan)
Gerald Everett 3 (Darrin)
Mike Gesicki 3 (Cole)
T.J. Hockenson 1 (Scott)
PK
Harrison Butker 111 (Nick)
Justin Tucker 100 (Alec/Andy)
Wil Lutz 93 (Andy/Sneen)
Greg Zuerlein 77 (Ryan)
Jake Elliott 58 (Sneen)
Robbie Gould 48 (Cole/Scott)
Mason Crosby 37 (Cole)
Josh Lambo 34 (Darrin)
Matt Gay 32 (Ryan)
Matt Prater 26 (Alec)
Chris Boswell 21 (Cole)
Zane Gonzalez 20 (Darrin)
Mike Nugent 13 (Scott)
Adam Vinatieri 13 (Cole)
Michael Badgley 6 (Scott)
Joey Slye 2 (Darrin)
Austin Seibert 1 (Scott)
DF
New England Patriots 161 (Scott)
Buffalo Bills 78 (Darrin)
Los Angeles Rams 70 (Sneen/Andy)
Chicago Bears 66 (Nick)
Los Angeles Chargers 57 (Ryan)
Baltimore Ravens 48 (Andy/Nick/Andy)
Pittsburgh Steelers 40 (Cole/Ryan)
Dallas Cowboys 35 (Andy/Cole/Sneen)
Carolina Panthers 33 (Cole/Darrin/Alec)
San Francisco 49ers 31 (Andy/Nick)
Oakland Raiders 14 (Alec)
Washington 12 (Andy)
New York Jets 11 (Cole)
Tennessee Titans 7 (Andy)
Minnesota Vikings 3 (Scott)
New York Giants 3 (Cole)
Arizona Cardinals 2 (Cole)
Seattle Seahawks 2 (Andy)
Denver Broncos 1 (Cole)
Hypothetical Standings
30 to 50 Feral Hogs 9-2
Rise From The Asches 7-4
Tax Paying Homeowner 7-4
Team ChowHounds 5-6
SNEEN MACHINE 5-6
Navy Is Illiterate 4-7
Team Easy Breesy 4-7
Colieveland 96ers 3-8
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