WRBL, Week 10 2019

Wisconsin Rapids Bro League

Week 10
Our 5th official season of blaming Cole Walters for the lack of creativity in the Cleveland Browns' helmet design.

Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks)
Steven Nett Division
Rise From The Asches (Scott Aschebrook) 7-3 W3
Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 5-5 W1
Team Easy Breesy (Ryan Dougherty) 4-6 W2
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 1-9 L9

Shooter McGavin Division
30 to 50 Feral Hogs (Andy Todd) 9-1 W2
SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 6-4 L1
Navy Is Illiterate (Nick Zurawski) 4-6 L2

Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 4-6 L2

Week Ten Final Scores
DARRIN  148 - SNEEN  118
SCOTT  119 - COLE  86
RYAN  139 - NICK  101
ANDY  130 - ALEC  94

Heroes of the Week: WR Tyreek Hill (32 points), RB Derrick Henry (32), QB Lamar Jackson (32)

Brett Carlsen/Getty Images
Hero of the Week: RB Derrick Henry (The Wisconsin ChowHounds)

Zeroes of the Week: WR Cooper Kupp (Andy), DF Dallas Cowboys (-1, Sneen), RB David Johnson (-1, Nick)

Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images
Zero of the Week: RB David Johnson (Navy Is Illiterate)

Waiver Wonders: WR Christian Kirk (37 points), WR Darius Slayton (34), QB Daniel Jones (30)

Upcoming Week 11 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)

Darrin vs. Scott
Ryan vs. Alec
Nick vs. Andy
Sneen vs. Cole

Thursday Night Football: Pittsburgh @ Cleveland 7:20 PM
Sunday NOON: Dallas @ Detroit
Jacksonville @ Indianapolis
Buffalo @ Miami
Denver @ Minnesota
New Orleans @ Tampa Bay
NY Jets @ Washington
Atlanta @ Caroina
Houston @ Baltimore

3:05 PM: Arizona @ San Francisco

3:25 PM: Cincinnati @ Oakland

New England @ Philadelphia

Sunday Night Football: Chicago @ LA Rams 7:20 PM

Monday Night Football: Kansas City v. LA Chargers IN MEXICO CITY 7:15 PM

BYE WEEKS: Green Bay, Seattle, NY Giants, Tennessee

Bro...

Five Plenty to unpack from Week 10 as we saw upsets aplenty (Darrin over Sneen & Falcons over Saints), confirmation of doom and gloom (Bengals destroyed by Ravens, David Johnson already looking washed, Cole loses again) and more unfortunate injury news (A.J. Green's return delayed indefinitely, Devonta Freeman's bad foot, Tyler Lockett's ankle keeping him in the hospital). In other words, it was a pretty regular week with 26 NFL teams in action and the middle of the WRBL standings continuing to keep pace with each other. Amazingly with all that's happening off the field...

- Judgement day for Antonio Brown

- Colin Kaepernick's weirdly forced NFL audition practice

- Trent Williams vs. Dan Snyder & co.

The NFL has been overshadowed by some shady PED suspensions (DeAndre Ayton, Wilson Chandler & John Collins) plus the China fiasco in the NBA and the NCAA continuing to be an organization fucked since the beginning of their creation. Sure, rumor has it that the pay-for-play talks are now serious but when Chase Young from Ohio State can get suspended for taking out a loan to fly his girlfriend to a game and James Wiseman of Memphis' basketball program can lose eligibility over his coach helping him move pre-college, is there any redeemable quality about the NCAA at all? What I'm getting at is that the NFL under Roger Goodell is so used to being chastised for off-field nonsense created by owners and Goodell alike that we barely even flinch when something like "Jerry Jones will likely only franchise tag Dak Prescott" makes the news. Meanwhile, the other leagues are finally getting to there "Oh shit, we have to be taken seriously" topics and it's helping the NFL feel like a nicer product in 2019. Will it continue or will the controversial over-officiating swap the narrative on the league again in a negative direction despite the fun of fantasy football? Time will soon tell.

Kareem Hunt's return to the NFL this week could have been a huge story but, he has remained silent off-the-field since last year's assault case.

I can only talk about my own miraculous Bro League run so many weeks in a row so, just call Scott "OneRepublic" because he's making "All The Right Moves". Starting Golden Tate for a breakout 23 point performance over the now-hurt Devonta Freeman? Don't mind if he does. Not taking Patrick Mahomes (who is not Christian McCaffrey) and instead settling for a waiver steal like Kyler Murray at QB? That's only a 4-point drop off this week and Kyler didn't dislocate his knee (yet). Meanwhile, Dairy Sanders continues to dominate with a ho-hum 25 point game in Green Bay and is the fantasy MVP by far these first ten weeks (Dalvin Cook probably in second). This isn't the first we've seen of Scott's evil genius at work and it's likely not the last. Rise From The Asches lead the league in scoring and they have for a while now. In the Hypothetical Standings (found at the bottom of this here blog post), his early season inconsistencies were holding him back but, Scott's finally tied for second and has beaten every WRBL owner this year besides Sneen. That rematch comes in the final week of the regular season (week 14) so if nothing else, circle your calendars for that matchup if the playoffs are somehow already settled.

Sneen and his machine put on another respectable showing this week (118 points) as Nick has hyped up our potential Shelby Bowl rematch as "The least-viewed championship in history". I don't know what that means as only the actual league members themselves are actually watching these results in real time but, I will say that Sneen and I do feel like the Packers and Chiefs of the Bro League. For example, in the first official WRBL championship matchup, it was Sneen versus I and we've all sort of chosen to forget any results from previously unbranded Bro Leagues beforehand (Sorry to Nick, my Akili Smith's Donkey Ranch team of 2014 and whoever the hell else won those high school and possibly previous-to-that middle school leagues but do we really acknowledge the Cleveland Browns' championships anymore?). As somewhat of a veteran of the Bro League (like Green Bay in the NFL since day one), I came out on top and ushered in a new era for Nick's revolutionary fantasy football league. Now in our fifth official season, Sneen is back in the discussion for The Shelby Trophy and much like the Chiefs, he might be in better shape than his first attempt to get his name engraved. Dalvin Cook is turning into the stud we all saw coming through his first two injury-plagued seasons, Julian Edelman has been Tom Brady's lone consistent receiver and Aaron Rodgers is sort of Aaron Rodgers again (like 85% of Super Bowl Rodgers?). Ultimately, Sneen and I may never have the quantity of vocal fanfare that the Cowboys (Scott) or Jets (Is.... Is this Nick?) do but, the quality of our play is really high when we're at our best (like the Chiefs and Packers) and we have yet to NOT sell out any stadiums so go ahead and get your 30-point win over the machine, Darrin, I just hope you enjoy being this league's LA Chargers (constantly disappointing results and always bubbling around .500).

Tom Fox/Dallas Morning News
Amari Cooper's 31 points (along with Derrick Henry's 32) helped Darrin end a four-week skid against SNEEN MACHINE, who drops to 6-4.

With another loss (his ninth in a row) to Scott, Cole has begun to gameplan his lineup specifically for the end of the year All-Bro teams to get something out of this completely lost season and this popped an idea into my head. We need an All-BRUH Team. Instead of just choosing the shittiest players on a week-to-week basis like our Zero of the Week honors, we field an entire lineup of guys that disappointed or upset us in some way at the end of the year. Those are pretty vague qualifications but, say someone like New Orleans goes 13-1 and sits Alvin Kamara or Michael Thomas during our championship weekend and one of those two just happens to be an every-week starter for a team competing for The Shelby. That right there is a "BRUH" moment. David Johnson's -1 this week? BRUH. Maybe a guy you've started all year goes off the one week he's on your bench and you lose again... BRUH. Remember Daniel Jones? Cole and I do. He's averaging 10.5 points per WRBL start. Meanwhile, the Buccaneers and Jets are more familiar with Danny Dimes, the weekly 4-touchdown scorer with guts of steel and a galaxy brain that Kyrie Irving would be jealous of. No doubt, Danny Dimes is a bro but Daniel Jones? He is the ultimate Bruh. I'm just spit-balling here but, there's gold somewhere in these hills of ideas I get sometimes. 

In honor of Veteran's Day, Nick's team stood still during the anthem while Ryan's team just seemed to score uncontested. It was a lack of quality performance the Miami Dolphins were jealous of as Nick's anger towards early picks like David Johnson and Odell Beckham Jr. grows with each week. Much like Bill Belichick, Nick's not here to focus on the past though and has stated that "we're on to the Feral Hogs". Ryan rode yet another three touchdown game from RB Aaron Jones and Tyreek Hill was happy to have Patrick Mahomes (who is not Christian McCaffrey) back with a Hero of the Week performance. Don't ask and don't tell Nick about Ryan's Gay kicker putting up double-digits to nearly match Harrison Butker's 15 either. Again, he's moved on to next week when Z faces me and my now 9-1 30-50 Feral Hogs. Instead of a repeat of (in my opinion) the most exciting match of the 2019 WRBL season thus far (I beat Alec 151-150 in week 3), Alec's team just put forth one of it's second sub-100 point showing of 2019 thanks to a Sunday that included an entire half of football that saw Julio Jones and Kenny Golladay combine for one catch. I was in awe watching the same team that wouldn't die in our first match wake up after their gameday alarms, only to put up 94 to my Hogs' 130.

Mike DiNovo - USA TODAY Sports
Kenny Golladay eventually showed up with 14 fantasy points and a touchdown, which is an okay performance made better by the fact that Jeff Driskel was his quarterback this week.

 

Not to be mean but I'm none too keen on Sneen trading a spleen to Reen for Tom Crean, Mr. Bean, the band Ween and a 1st in 2115. The trade deadline passed two weeks ago and nobody noticed because they were too busy bitching about my 30 to 50 Feral Hogs just getting a bit more wild with a certain Chiefs' quarterback. As it turns out, the 4-for-2 deal between Cole and I was the lone trade made this WRBL season and this week, Cole's revamped yet still 1-9 squad takes on the SNEEN MACHINE on the Rodgers/Davante Adams bye week. Maybe James Conner returning to play Cleveland on Thursday night will help Sneen dodge a major upset but, starting Josh Allen (a QB heavily reliant on one-yard sneaks) is bold no matter the week, especially when he's playing the scorching hot Miami Dolphins (who are going to finish 9-7). My 9-1 Hogs have clinched their playoff participation medals but, will be on guard as they try to play spoiler to the 5-way race for seeds 3 through 7 in the overall league standings, this week against 4-6 Navy Is Illiterate. Right now, Darrin holds a one-game lead over Nick, Ryan and Alec for the second wildcard spot but, that might not last long as flaming hot Rise From The Asches has Night King'd his way through even the league's strongest competitors the past few weeks. With those two playing each other, Darrin is at even more of a disadvantage than usual with Derrick Henry on BYE after back-to-back two touchdown games. Luckily for both Darrin and Nick, Ryan and Alec play each other this week in a likely (yet not 100% certain) loser leaves home matchup of the 4-6s. Ryan has yet to miss the postseason in his two WRBL seasons so, this is definitely one to watch as Team Easy Breesy's odds might dwindle with Aaron Jones and rookie stud DK Metcalf on BYE as well. In the NFL, the Saints look to rebound in Tampa Bay, the Eagles return from their week off versus the Patriots one week removed from theirs as well, the Sunday night game shockingly sets back offense 100 years and the Chiefs and Chargers play in Mexico City one year after they weren't ready to host a game there. What could possibly go wrong? "All of it. All of it could go wrong." said an anonymous source from the Colieveland 96ers' organization.

Scoring Leaders

QB

Russell Wilson 209 (Andy/Alec)

Lamar Jackson 196 (Nick)

Aaron Rodgers 180 (Sneen)

DeShaun Watson 173 (Darrin)

Patrick Mahomes 172 (Cole/Andy)

Tom Brady 119 (Andy)

Kyler Murray 108 (Scott)

Carson Wentz 62 (Scott)

Drew Brees 54 (Ryan)
Dak Prescott 52 (Darrin)

Gardner Minshew II 40 (Ryan)

Jameis Winston 37 (Cole)

Kirk Cousins 31 (Nick/Scott)

Matthew Stafford 24 (Ryan)

Daniel Jones 21 (Andy)

Matt Ryan 18 (Nick)

Josh Allen 17 (Ryan)
Cam Newton 16 (Alec)
Jacoby Brissett 12 (Ryan/Cole)

RB

Christian McCaffrey 264 (Scott)

Dalvin Cook 231 (Sneen)

Aaron Jones 175 (Ryan)

Derrick Henry 162 (Darrin)

Nick Chubb 157 (Scott)

Ezekiel Elliott 150 (Ryan)

Leonard Fournette 137 (Nick)

Le'Veon Bell 128 (Darrin)

Mark Ingram 123 (Andy/Cole)

Alvin Kamara 120 (Darrin)

Austin Ekeler 119 (Andy)

David Johnson 115 (Nick)

Saquon Barkley 110 (Alec)

Marlon Mack 108 (Alec)

James Conner 90 (Sneen)

Todd Gurley 89 (Ryan)

Devonta Freeman 87 (Scott)

Melvin Gordon 78 (Cole)

Josh Jacobs 75 (Nick)

Tevin Coleman 61 (Sneen)
Joe Mixon 58 (Cole)

Chris Carson 36 (Nick)

Latavius Murray 36 (Scott)

Kerryon Johnson 35 (Andy)

Damien Williams 32 (Sneen)

LeSean McCoy 25 (Cole/Darrin)

Frank Gore 23 (Cole/Darrin)

James White 23 (Andy)
Ronald Jones II 21 (Sneen)
Tarik Cohen 19 (Alec)
Phillip Lindsay 19 (Andy)
Jaylen Samuels 19 (Andy)

Chris Thompson 18 (Cole)

Kenyan Drake 17 (Cole/Alec)

Miles Sanders 17 (Alec)

Sony Michel 7 (Cole)
David Montgomery 7 (Scott/Nick)
Devin Singletary 7 (Andy)

Chase Edmonds 2 (Nick)

WR

Michael Thomas 209 (Andy)

Mike Evans 187 (Scott)

DeAndre Hopkins 154 (Nick)

Julio Jones 152 (Alec)

Julian Edelman 151 (Sneen)

Amari Cooper 142 (Darrin)

Chris Godwin 139 (Cole)

Keenan Allen 137 (Alec)

Tyreek Hill 115 (Ryan)

Cooper Kupp 104 (Andy)

Adam Thielen 103 (Andy)

Allen Robinson 98 (Ryan)

Tyler Lockett 97 (Cole/Andy)

T.Y. Hilton 95 (Cole)

Davante Adams 90 (Sneen)

Kenny Golladay 88 (Alec)

Odell Beckham Jr. 86 (Nick)

Emmanuel Sanders 76 (Scott)

Marvin Jones Jr. 65 (Ryan)

JuJu Smith-Schuster 64 (Andy)

Golden Tate 64 (Scott)

John Brown 61 (Darrin)

Tyrell Williams 61 (Cole)

Brandin Cooks 58 (Ryan)

Courtland Sutton 45 (Alec)

Stefon Diggs 42 (Alec/Nick)
DJ Chark 41 (Cole)

Tyler Boyd 40 (Nick)

Sterling Shepard 35 (Darrin)

Robert Woods 29 (Sneen)

Alshon Jeffery 28 (Darrin)

Calvin Ridley 27 (Sneen)

Sammy Watkins 27 (Nick)

Mohamed Sanu 24 (Sneen)

Jarvis Landry 23 (Scott)

Larry Fitzgerald 22 (Sneen)

Antonio Brown 15 (Darrin)

Michael Gallup 11 (Andy)
Devante Parker 11 (Cole)

Will Fuller V 10 (Ryan)
Auden Tate 9 (Alec)

Marquise Brown 6 (Alec)

Terry McLaurin 2 (Scott)

TE

Travis Kelce 143 (Andy)

George Kittle 109 (Cole)

Zach Ertz 107 (Sneen)

Evan Engram 105 (Darrin)

Austin Hooper 103 (Scott)

Darren Waller 83 (Nick)

Hunter Henry 61 (Ryan/Alec)

Will Dissly 30 (Alec)

Vance McDonald 30 (Alec)

Delanie Walker 30 (Ryan)

Jared Cook 21 (Scott/Darrin)

Gerald Everett 17 (Ryan/Sneen)
David Njoku 12 (Nick)

Greg Olsen 11 (Cole/Nick)

Jason Witten 10 (Ryan/Darrin)

Darren Fells 7 (Scott)
Dallas Goedert 7 (Ryan)
Jimmy Graham 7 (Ryan)
Mark Andrews 4 (Nick)

Mike Gesicki 3 (Cole)
T.J. Hockenson 1 (Scott)

PK

Harrison Butker 104 (Nick)

Justin Tucker 89 (Alec/Andy)

Wil Lutz 82 (Andy/Sneen)

Greg Zuerlein 77 (Ryan)

Jake Elliott 58 (Sneen)

Robbie Gould 48 (Cole/Scott)

Mason Crosby 37 (Cole)

Josh Lambo 34 (Darrin)
Stephen Gostkowski 32 (Darrin)

Matt Gay 25 (Ryan)

Matt Prater 23 (Alec)

Chris Boswell 21 (Cole)

Ka'imi Fairbairn 16 (Scott)

Mike Nugent 13 (Scott)

Adam Vinatieri 13 (Cole)
Zane Gonzalez 11 (Darrin)
Michael Badgley 6 (Scott)

Joey Slye 2 (Darrin)

DF

New England Patriots 161 (Scott)

Buffalo Bills 69 (Darrin)

New Orleans Saints 67 (Alec)

Chicago Bears 66 (Nick)

Los Angeles Rams 60 (Sneen)

Los Angeles Chargers 57 (Ryan)

Baltimore Ravens 48 (Andy/Nick/Andy)

Pittsburgh Steelers 37 (Cole/Ryan)

Philadelphia Eagles 35 (Cole)

Carolina Panthers 33 (Cole/Darrin/Alec)
Dallas Cowboys 32 (Andy/Cole/Sneen)
Jacksonville Jaguars 26 (Scott/Cole)

San Francisco 49ers 15 (Andy/Nick)

Washington 12 (Andy)

Tennessee Titans 7 (Andy)
New York Giants 3 (Cole)

Arizona Cardinals 2 (Cole)
Seattle Seahawks 2 (Andy)
Denver Broncos 1 (Cole)

Hypothetical Standings

30 to 50 Feral Hogs 8-2

Rise From The Asches 6-4

Tax Paying Homeowner 6-4

Team ChowHounds 5-5
SNEEN MACHINE 5-5
Team Easy Breesy 4-6

Navy Is Illiterate 3-7

Colieveland 96ers 3-7