Week 13
Our 4th semi-official season of blaming Cole Walters for crying over spilled milk.
.Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks)
The Engine That Could (Andy Todd) 9-4 W1
Tremendous Big League (Nick Zurawski) 8-4-1 W6
Team Easy Breesy (Ryan Dougherty) 8-5 W2
Scott Bless Scott Damn (Scott Aschebrook) 8-5 L3
Launders Money With The WRPD (Alec Swanson) 6-7 W1
SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 5-8 L1
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 4-8-1 L5
Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 3-10 L1
Week Twelve Final Scores
ZURAWSKI 130 WALTERS 124
DOUGHERTY 125 ASCHEBROOK JR. 116
SWANSON 131 ASCHEBROOK SR. 121
TODD 119 SNEEN 79
Heroes of the Week: WR Tyreek Hill (Swanson), RB Alvin Kamara (Aschebrook Sr.), RB Le'Veon Bell (Swanson)
 |
| Hero of the Week: RB Le'Veon Bell (Launders Money With The WRPD) |
Andy v. Darrin
Alec v. Nick
Cole v. Ryan
Scott v. Tyler
Thursday: New Orleans @ Atlanta 7:25 PM
Sunday: Indianapolis @ Buffalo NOON
Alec v. Nick
Cole v. Ryan
Scott v. Tyler
Thursday: New Orleans @ Atlanta 7:25 PM
Sunday: Indianapolis @ Buffalo NOON
Chicago @ Cincinnati NOON
Green Bay @ Cleveland NOON
Oakland @ Kansas City NOON
Dallas @ NY Giants NOON
Detroit @ Tampa Bay NOON
Minnesota @ Carolina NOON
San Francisco @ Houston NOON
NY Jets @ Denver 3:05 PM
Tennessee @ Arizona 3:05 PM
Green Bay @ Cleveland NOON
Oakland @ Kansas City NOON
Dallas @ NY Giants NOON
Detroit @ Tampa Bay NOON
Minnesota @ Carolina NOON
San Francisco @ Houston NOON
NY Jets @ Denver 3:05 PM
Tennessee @ Arizona 3:05 PM
Washington @ LA Chargers 3:05 PM
Philadelphia @ LA Rams 3:25 PM
Seattle @ Jacksonville 3:25 PM
Baltimore @ Pittsburgh 7:30 PM
Philadelphia @ LA Rams 3:25 PM
Seattle @ Jacksonville 3:25 PM
Baltimore @ Pittsburgh 7:30 PM
Monday: New England @ Miami 7:30 PM
Bro...
It may be the most disappointing time of year for four Bro League owners but luckily for all of us, next week should be relatively stress-free as the four teams for each fantasy postseason bracket are set in internet stone. The only things left to determine are seeding battles in week 14 and of course, who actually wins the Shelby trophy and who loses the battle for the MoonBak, a trophy that I do not believe exists at this moment (we need to work on that). Nobody knows quite how the first round of the WRBL playoffs will look but, we now know with absolute certainty that the four participating players will be Andy Todd, Nick Zurawski, Scott Aschebrook and Ryan Dougherty. How did we get here? Well, Ryan has been the least dominant superteam ever as his 12-1 hypothetical record has only translated to an 8-5 reality record, with the randomized league scheduling working against his favor. Interestingly enough, the league's highest-scoring team was also the last team to clinch a playoff spot with a 125-116 win over Scott Bless Scott Damn. Ben Roethlisberger's slow Monday night start restrained him to a nice 17 points for Scott and tripling down against the 0-12 Browns worked out as Ryan's one last strategy to clinch a playoff spot. Ryan used Keenan Allen's 26 points, Hunter Henry's 15 and the LA defense's 12 to contribute 42% of his lineup's scoring. The scariest player entering the postseason is never the league's top scorer or a player coming back fresh from an injury or suspension, it's the player that gets the hottest at the exact right moment and Keenan Allen is somehow the first player in NFL HISTORY to have three consecutive games of 10+ catches, 100+ yards and at least 1 touchdown. It's amazing Antonio Brown, Randy Moss, Jerry Rice or even Torry Holt had not done that yet.
Everybody seems to be rooting for Nick Zurawski and rightfully so, as he is the man willing to be the commissioner of this fine league every year and would probably get the coolest possible photos of The Shelby trophy on the road. The odds are somewhat in his favor as well with the league's top two wide receivers in a PPR-scoring league plus, Jimmy Graham is suddenly the NFL's best red zone target. Personally, I'm rooting for Scott because his team is in a downward spiral and it would make just about as much sense as #4 seed Cole winning it all last year. What can I say? I'm a sucker for a Cinderella story. Of course, when the difference between #1 and #4 is one game, there are no Cinderellas and Scott is just that dude that always steals your players at the draft out of spite. While it would be cool to win two out of three years (three out of five if we're including the pre-Blog, even less official than the semi-official season WRBL), I'm totally understanding that there's a time for each individual WRBL owner to bathe in the glorious sunlight that bursts through the clouds unto them immediately after the WRBL championship and I already enjoyed that elation. Coming into the season, I was furious and ready to destroy you all but, most of that was misplaced erratic behavior caused by a train. After all, I'm winning my family's Yahoo! fantasy league (#notsohumblebrag) and my focus has entirely shifted to my 38-year dynasty, TD-only league where my dad and I have two(!!!) ties and there are six teams above .500. Much like Aaron Rodgers needs a second ring before Ben Roethlisberger somehow gets a third (because that makes more sense), I need to win the TD-only league for the first time in 13 years before I win this one for the first time in 2.
 |
| NBCSports Not only has Jimmy Graham led Nick to a 6-game winning streak but, he has helped Todd's Tornados lead the PFL in scoring this season. What a swell fella. |
The only NFL game that really stirred the pot of controversy in both the NFL and fantasy was Monday night's Steeler-Bengal DEATHFEST 2017. Everybody and their mother was suspended as a result of dirty plays, concussions, spinal injuries and I'm pretty sure Brick killed a guy. Every WRBL result was in play besides Sneen's woeful showing costing him a 40-point loss. As I already mentioned, a 27-point performance would have given Big Ben enough points to lead Scott to an epic comeback win over Ryan and would have kept Alec's postseason hopes alive but, it took the 14-year QB until the fourth quarter to really pick up his pace and it was too little, too late. Alec ended Darrin's surprising three-game win streak with Le'Veon Bell racking up an incredibly clutch 28 points (and Hero of the Week honors) along with the Steelers defense's 1 point for a 10-point, Monday Night victory. The best match-up of the week was Antonio Brown and Chris Boswell versus A.J. Green as Nick trailed Cole by 3 points and despite Green scoring two touchdowns before the Steelers rallied for their own comeback win, Nick rallied his own team to a six-point victory as the Cincinnati rain contributed to take away at least 5 A.J. Green points via drops and the league's leading scorer (Brown) did Antonio Brown things, like hanging onto a pass despite George Iloka wanting to decapitate him on the field, just like old Johnny "No Head" Burton, the former Canton Bulldog who played five games in 1922 without a skull. They really don't make football players like they used to.
Week 14 doesn't mean a damn thing other than bragging rights for locking up the #1 seed in the WRBL playoffs and if I beat Darrin, then I have those rights for a couple of days. It would help if Kareem Hunt could resurrect his now irrelevant career but it could be worse, he could be convincing himself to start Jason Witten for another 1-point week (of which he has three for Darrin). Technically, any of the four playoff teams could snatch the top spot in the playoffs and with Scott facing Sneen, Alec versus Nick and Ryan trying to hold off Cole despite ALLEGATIONS! (we really don't know what Cole is talking about when he says "Ryan is winning despite ALLEGATIONS" but, we'd really love to know what further ALLEGATIONS come out after Ryan beats him), it's even possible that all four teams win and hold the exact same seeding headed into week 15. It's bound to be a weird and wild week and hopefully, not a single player is injured because it would be pretty shitty for a starter on playoff team to go down in a week that is mostly irrelevant to both us winners and losers. Shout out to Clemson, Oklahoma, Georgia and Alabama on making the College Football Playoff and shout out to Ben McAdoo on getting Eli Manning his starting job back by getting himself fired.
Scoring Leaders
QB
Russell Wilson 268 (SWANSON)
Tom Brady 232 (SNEEN)
Drew Brees 121 (DOUGHERTY)
Cam Newton 109 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Carson Wentz 101 (DOUGHERTY)
Matt Ryan 90 (WALTERS)
Alex Smith 89 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Derek Carr 66 (ZURAWSKI)
Tyrod Taylor 50 (ZURAWSKI)
Marcus Mariota 25 (DOUGHERTY/ZURAWSKI)
Philip Rivers 24 (TODD/ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Jameis Winston 20 (ASCHEBROOK JR./WALTERS)
Andy Dalton 18 (WALTERS)
Case Keenum 17 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Jared Goff 9 (WALTERS)
Mitchell Trubisky 9 (SWANSON)
Kirk Cousins 7 (SNEEN)
Brett Hundley 7 (WALTERS)
Kirk Cousins 7 (SNEEN)
Brett Hundley 7 (WALTERS)
RB
Le'Veon Bell 242 (SWANSON)
Todd Gurley 213 (DOUGHERTY)
Melvin Gordon 192 (WALTERS)
Alvin Kamara 185 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
LeSean McCoy 182 (DOUGHERTY)
Leonard Fournette 167 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Mark Ingram 166 (ZURAWSKI)
Christian McCaffrey 151 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Jordan Howard 103 (SWANSON)
Joe Mixon 90 (TODD)
Carlos Hyde 88 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
C.J. Anderson 64 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Latavius Murray 56 (SNEEN)
Ameer Abdullah 53 (TODD)
Tevin Coleman 51 (SNEEN)
Duke Johnson Jr. 45 (TODD)
DeMarco Murray 41 (ZURAWSKI)
Jerick McKinnon 39 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Frank Gore 37 (TODD/SNEEN)
Marshawn Lynch 31 (ZURAWSKI)
Samaje Perine 25 (TODD)
Alfred Morris 23 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Dion Lewis 21 (ZURAWSKI)
Adrian Peterson 21 (ZURAWSKI)
Doug Martin 20 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Tarik Cohen 13 (SWANSON)
Isaiah Crowell 13 (TODD)
David Johnson 12 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Chris Ivory 8 (WALTERS)
David Johnson 12 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Chris Ivory 8 (WALTERS)
Bilal Powell 8 (WALTERS/ZURAWSKI)
Danny Woodhead 8 (SNEEN)
Alex Collins 5 (SWANSON)
Aaron Jones 5 (WALTERS)
Paul Perkins 3 (TODD)
Paul Perkins 3 (TODD)
WR
Antonio Brown 269 (ZURAWSKI)
A.J. Green 189 (WALTERS)
Tyreek Hill 162 (SWANSON)
Adam Thielen 146 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Demaryius Thomas 138 (SNEEN)
Brandin Cooks 136 (SWANSON)
Doug Baldwin 130 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Dez Bryant 114 (SWANSON)
Michael Crabtree 91 (ZURAWSKI)
Emmanuel Sanders 87 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Davante Adams 85 (WALTERS)
Golden Tate 77 (DOUGHERTY)
DeVante Parker 57 (SWANSON)
Amari Cooper 54 (WALTERS)
Sterling Shepard 45 (TODD)
Marvin Jones 42 (DOUGHERTY)
Marqise Lee 30 (SNEEN)
Danny Amendola 28 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Nelson Agholor 24 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Devin Funchess 22 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Terrelle Pryor 22 (SWANSON)
Kelvin Benjamin 15 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Ted Ginn Jr. 15 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Mohamed Sanu 12 (TODD)
Jamison Crowder 9 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
T.Y. Hilton 8 (TODD)
Corey Davis 7 (TODD)
Jamison Crowder 9 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
T.Y. Hilton 8 (TODD)
Corey Davis 7 (TODD)
Eric Decker 7 (SNEEN)
Rishard Matthews 7 (DOUGHERTY)
Rishard Matthews 7 (DOUGHERTY)
Randall Cobb 6 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Alshon Jeffery 6 (ZURAWSKI)
Sammy Watkins 2 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
John Brown 1 (DOUGHERTY)
Sammy Watkins 2 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
John Brown 1 (DOUGHERTY)
Mike Wallace 1 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
TE
Travis Kelce 188 (TODD)
Jimmy Graham 129 (ZURAWSKI)
Evan Engram 77 (WALTERS)
Delanie Walker 73 (SWANSON)
Hunter Henry 48 (DOUGHERTY)
Vernon Davis 29 (SNEEN/DOUGHERTY)
Kyle Rudolph 25 (SWANSON)
Cameron Brate 23 (SWANSON)
Jordan Reed 18 (SNEEN)
Jared Cook 10 (WALTERS/ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Greg Olsen 5 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Tyler Eifert 1 (SWANSON)
Tyler Kroft 1 (TODD)
Tyler Kroft 1 (TODD)
K
Wil Lutz 124 (DOUGHERTY)
Stephen Gostkowski 121 (SNEEN)
Greg Zuerlein 100 (ASCHEBROOK SR./TODD)
Justin Tucker 82 (ASCHEBROOK JR./DOUGHERTY/WALTERS)
Chris Boswell 46 (TODD/ZURAWSKI)
Kai Forbath 30 (TODD/WALTERS)
Giorgio Tavecchio 27 (TODD)
Ryan Succop 26 (WALTERS/SNEEN)
Brandon McManus 20 (ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Adam Vinatieri 17 (ZURAWSKI)
Robbie Gould 10 (SWANSON)
Harrison Butker 5 (ZURAWSKI)
DF
Seattle Seahawks 89 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Jacksonville Jaguars 85 (ZURAWSKI)
Los Angeles Rams 74 (TODD)
Philadelphia Eagles 53 (ASCHEBROOK JR./ZURAWSKI/TODD)
Houston Texans 43 (WALTERS/ASCHEBROOK JR.)
Arizona Cardinals 37 (ZURAWSKI/DOUGHERTY/ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Los Angeles Chargers 36 (SWANSON/DOUGHERTY)
Cincinnati Bengals 24 (WALTERS)
Buffalo Bills 14 (ZURAWSKI/TODD)
Oakland Raiders 10 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)Tennessee Titans 8 (WALTERS)
New Orleans Saints 6 (DOUGHERTY)
Washington 5 (WALTERS)
Atlanta Falcons 4 (SWANSON)
Miami Dolphins 4 (ZURAWSKI)
Chicago Bears 3 (ZURAWSKI)
Chicago Bears 3 (ZURAWSKI)
San Francisco 49ers 3 (ZURAWSKI)
New York Giants -2 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
New York Giants -2 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Hypothetical Standings
Team Easy Breesy 12-1
Tremendous Big League 8-5
Colieveland 96ers 5-8
SNEEN MACHINE 4-9
Team ChowHounds 4-9
Team ChowHounds 4-9
No comments:
Post a Comment