Wisconsin Rapids Bro League
Week One
Our Sixth Official Season of blaming Cole Walters for me declaring this as "The Year of Alec Swanson"
Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks)
Steven Nett Division
Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 1-0 W1
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 1-0 W1
Rise From The Asch3s (Scott Aschebrook) 0-0-1 T1
Shooter McGavin Division
Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 1-0 W1
Team Easy Breesy (Ryan Dougherty) 0-1 L1
Christy Fichtner All-Stars (Andy Todd) 0-1 L1
Tanner Glaza Division
Free Chiquita (Nick Zurawski) 1-0 W4
SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 0-1 L2
Team Hoefs (Nathaniel Hoefs) 0-1 L1
NEW RULE: With 9 teams in the league (file your application for 10th team ownership in the upcoming 2021 WRBL season to Nick Zurawski), There will be one team on "BYE" every week. That team's Won-Loss-Tied record will be determined by...
- A top-four team in scoring = Win.
- A bottom-four team in scoring = Loss.
- Fifth in scoring? Congratulations Scott, you got yourself a tie.
Week One Final Scores
COLE defeats RYAN 144.98 - 139.38
NICK defeats HOEFS 149.60 - 104.22
DARRIN defeats SNEEN 182.86 - 131.40
ALEC defeats ANDY 129.32 - 73.74
SCOTT ties BYE 136.04-0
NEW RULE: Every. Yard. Counts. Decimal scoring is finally here.
Heroes of the Week: WR Davante Adams (41.6), RB Josh Jacobs (35.9), WR Calvin Ridley (33.9)
Dan Powers/USA TODAY NETWORK
Hero of the Week: WR Davante Adams (Team ChowHounds)
Waiver Wonders: WR Darius Slayton (28.2), RB Nyheim Hines (27.3), RB Malcolm Brown (26)
Waiver Wonder: WR Darius Slayton (6 catches, 102 yards, 2 TDs)
What-if of the Week: Scott earns a win IF he starts Aaron Rodgers (30.76) at QB instead of Dak Prescott (17.64).
Alec v. Andy (THE REMATCH)
Hoefs v. Sneen
Nick v. Cole
Darrin v. Scott
Ryan v. BYE
Thursday Night Football: Cincinnati @ Cleveland 7:20 PM
Sunday NOON: NY Giants @ Chicago
Atlanta @ Dallas
Detroit @ Green Bay
Jacksonville @ Tennessee
Minnesota @ Indianapolis
Buffalo @ Miami
San Francisco @ NY Jets
LA Rams @ Philadelphia
Denver @ Pittsburgh
Carolina @ Tampa Bay
3:05 PM: Washington @ Arizona
3:25 PM: Kansas City @ LA Chargers
Baltimore @ Houston
Sunday Night Football: New England @ Seattle 7:20 PM
Monday Night Football: New Orleans @ Las Vegas 7:15 PM
Bro...
Welcome to the sixth official fantasy football season of The Wisconsin Rapids Bro League. But what does "Bro" even mean in the grand scheme of things when only two out of nine league members are actually brothers by blood? To some, it likely just translates to a man-to-man friendship, easily disposable in the grand storyline of one's life, maybe even easily disposable by a single disagreement or difference in moral values. In the Bro League, I cannot guarantee but certainly assume that all varieties of potential friendship disbandment have come into our lives as a group and yet somehow, we have added a member in a year where division has conquered (pay no attention to the fact that we now have THREE divisions instead of two, that doesn't really work with my point and is pretty irrelevant in the grand scheme of things). If it weren't for me striking up a conversation on social media with Nick Zurawski after seeing him comment pretty regularly on someone named Connor's sports-related HOT TAKE posts, this Blog series would not exist. In all likelihood, Andy Todd's Bla Blog would have ceased to exist YEARS ago (Really, this and year-end music posts are the only things keeping the Blog afloat at this point). Would the Bro League even exist?
August 4th, 2011: The first recorded utterance of the potential for the Bro League.
For me, an extroverted only child, I don't go out looking for friendships to mean anything more than they do the average person but alas, my fear of loneliness knows no bounds and I feel like they ultimately do in some way. We are living in a time that is unlike anything that has come before us and it cannot be stated enough that whatever fatigue, hopelessness or general malaise 2020 has brought you, you are not alone. In the past week alone, I have had an incredibly uncomfortable back-and-forth with someone I was getting to know, someone relatively close to me receive a non-pandemic related health scare and a childhood friend suddenly pass away. These have led to the recurrence of old vices, my mind drifting at work and sudden rushes of anxiety and irritability that I haven't ever been as self-aware of as I am today (Looking back at my eight-year old self spiking PlayStation controllers and nut-punching that one kid on the playground, yeah "Angry Andy" was a real thing). It's not just "Yeah, I don't feel like blogging this week", a very real conflict of mine until I basically gave up on keeping that pace going back in 2016. Before my dad's longtime fantasy league drafted last Sunday, somebody asked me (since I was the only under-30 representation at said draft) what our generation thought about what was going on, I answered "I just know that we're all really depressed and filled with uncertainty", little did I know the week that was around the corner.
Thankfully, the kicking off of the 2020 NFL season provided that "distraction" that talking heads kept overstating that we needed. That's all fine and well but in reality, it's the general discourse going on in our private chats, the idea that as soon as I post this, somebody will probably ask "You alright bro?" or the fact that I'll show up to work tonight and some of my favorite co-workers (maybe even a few lesser-so but we will endure this hardship as a team of essentials, dammit) will be there to discuss life or co-sign each other's complaints... That's the stuff that keeps me level-headed that not everybody you know can fall back on, especially right now. Not everybody has a job that had a steady career six months ago, not every perfectly-photographed Instagram-ready couple is in that house out west they lived in two weeks ago and not everybody that posts something concerning has a legion of people willing to break the ice with a "Hey. Sup?". That's why in moments of personal hardship that I become aware of, I try my best to reach out and help or at least talk with any of my friends or ex-friends in need of knowing that somebody cares and I'm trying harder not to take old friendships for granted. We're humans, we grow, we mature, it's what we do.
As we begin the uncertainty that is the sixth season of our Wisconsin Rapids Bro League, I'm amazed at what we've accomplished as a group, sticking together despite there being like 4 or 5 different states represented by team owners. I'm proud of this league occasionally inspiring my writey-senses to start tingling and occasionally producing content like a possible Cole Walters podcast? or Scott's Trash Talk video of the week. I'm grateful that maybe in some far-reaching way that this is a form of bonding for the Aschebrook family (Maybe, I don't know, a man can dream and romanticize the importance of all this for the sake of a blog post, just have faith) the same way that my dad's 41-years TD-only league is a major weekly bonding afternoon for him and I. I may not know Nathaniel Hoefs (Did we LITERALLY even have any classes together in school? Did we even hold a face-to-face conversation? Lebron and Kendrick though, am I right?) as well as I know Cole Walters (Cole has definitely seen "Angry Andy" as we went to Sunday School together probably starting around age five, He is Wisconsin, #KissThePig) but I'm happy to have them both be my "Bros" and I'm ready to talk trade, trash or terrible rule proposals during this tumultuous time (oh yeah baby, the alliteration is BACK).
My Facebook (I sleep during the day but typically respond on messenger ASAP): Andy Todd
My E-mail: buckwheat328@gmail.com
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 or or chat with a counselor now.
You Matter.
I'll talk football next week. Until then, wear a mask.
Scoring Leaders
QB
Russell Wilson 31.78 (Ryan)
Josh Allen 28.18 (Cole)
Lamar Jackson 27.50 (Nick)
Matt Ryan 23.90 (Sneen)
DeShaun Watson 20.82 (Hoefs)
Tom Brady 20.46 (Darrin)
Patrick Mahomes 20.44 (Andy)
Dak Prescott 17.64 (Scott)
Joe Burrow 16.32 (Alec)
RB
Josh Jacobs 35.9 (Scott)
Christian McCaffrey 28.4 (Scott)
Ezekiel Elliott 27.7 (Alec)
Chris Carson 24.6 (Ryan)
Alvin Kamara 23.7 (Darrin)
Dalvin Cook 21.8 (Sneen)
David Johnson 19.9 (Nick)
Clyde Edwards-Helaire 19.8 (Scott)
Aaron Jones 17.6 (Ryan)
Derrick Henry 16.1 (Cole)
Melvin Gordon 15.6 (Darrin)
Jonathan Taylor 14.9 (Alec)
Kenyan Drake 14.5 (Nick)
Todd Gurley 13.7 (Darrin)
Saquon Barkley 12.6 (Nick)
Austin Ekeler 9.7 (Andy)
James White 8.2 (Hoefs)
Boston Scott 7.4 (Cole)
Le'Veon Bell 6.6 (Andy)
Joe Mixon 6.1 (Andy)
Nick Chubb 5.6 (Sneen)
James Conner 3.7 (Hoefs)
WR
Davante Adams 41.6 (Darrin)
Calvin Ridley 33.9 (Nick)
Adam Thielen 31.0 (Darrin)
DeAndre Hopkins 29.1 (Cole)
JuJu Smith-Schuster 24.9 (Sneen)
Julio Jones 24.7 (Sneen)
Jamison Crowder 24.5 (Ryan)
Allen Lazard 18.2 (Cole)
Robert Woods 17.9 (Nick)
Tyler Lockett 17.2 (Alec)
Stefon Diggs 16.6 (Sneen)
Tyreek Hill 15.6 (Hoefs)
Chris Godwin 13.9 (Cole)
Allen Robinson 12.3 (Alec)
Terry McLaurin 11.1 (Alec)
Diontae Johnson 9.7 (Ryan)
Marvin Jones 9.5 (Hoefs)
D.J. Moore 9.4 (Hoefs)
T.Y. Hilton 9.3 (Scott)
Cooper Kupp 8.0 (Andy)
Keenan Allen 7.7 (Andy)
Odell Beckham Jr. 5.2 (Scott)
Michael Thomas 4.7 (Ryan)
TE
Mark Andrews 22.8 (Darrin)
Noah Fant 19.1 (Cole)
Travis Kelce 17.0 (Hoefs)
Zach Ertz 10.8 (Scott)
Darren Waller 10.5 (Ryan)
George Kittle 9.3 (Nick)
Hayden Hurst 6.8 (Alec)
Evan Engram 2.9 (Sneen)
Blake Jarwin 2.2 (Andy)
K
Matt Prater 11 (Alec)
Harrison Butker 10 (Sneen)
Wil Lutz 10 (Hoefs)
Chris Boswell 9 (Nick)
Justin Tucker 9 (Scott)
Rodrigo Blankenship 7 (Andy)
Jake Elliott 4 (Ryan)
Greg Zuerlein 4 (Darrin)
Ka'imi Fairbairn 1 (Cole)
DF
Baltimore Ravens 12 (Alec)
Los Angeles Chargers 12 (Cole)
New England Patriots 12 (Ryan)
Buffalo Bills 10 (Darrin)
Pittsburgh Steelers 10 (Hoefs)
Indianapolis Colts 6 (Andy)
Philadelphia Eagles 5 (Nick)
San Francisco 49ers 1 (Sneen)
Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose, 5th = BYE)
Team ChowHounds 1-0
Free Chiquita 1-0
Colieveland 96ers 1-0
Team Easy Breesy 1-0
Rise From The Asch3s 0-0
SNEEN MACHINE 0-1
Tax Paying Homeowner 0-1
Team Hoefs 0-1
Christy Fichtner All-Stars 0-1
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