WRBL Week 14, 2018 Recap

Wisconsin Rapids Bro League

Week 14
Our 4th official season of blaming Cole Walters for Post Malone.

Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks)
Steven Nett Division

Walter Polish Z Slayers (Scott Aschebrook) 11-3 W8
Team Easy Breesy (Ryan Dougherty) 8-6 L2
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 7-7 W1
Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 6-8 L1

Shooter McGavin Division
Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 9-5 W1
We Don't Trade Picks (Nick Zurawski) 8-6 L1

The Team Known As Bad (Andy Todd) 4-10 W1

SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 3-11 L1

Week Fourteen Final Scores

ALEC  160 NICK  139
COLE  114 RYAN  113
ANDY  121 DARRIN  97
SCOTT  144 SNEEN  101

Heroes of the Week: WR Amari Cooper (Alec), TE George Kittle (Cole), WR JuJu Smith-Schuster (Sneen)

SI
Hero of the Week: WR Amari Cooper (Tax Paying Homeowner)

Waiver Wonders: RB Derrick Henry (47 points), WR Kenny Stills (27), QB Dak Prescott (24)

Getty Images
Waiver Wonders: RB Derrick Henry (17 carries, 238 yards, FOUR Touchdowns)

Zeroes of the Week: K Dan Bailey (Darrin), Owner Tyler Sneen

Upcoming Week 12 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)

#1 Scott vs. #4 Nick
#2 Alec vs. #3 Ryan
#5 Cole vs. #8 Sneen
#6 Darrin vs. #6 Andy

Thursday: LA Chargers @ Kansas City 7:20 PM
SATURDAY: Houston @ NY Jets 3:30 PM
Cleveland @ Denver 7:20 PM

Sunday: Arizona @ Atlanta NOON
Detroit @ Buffalo NOON
Green Bay @ Chicago NOON
Oakland @ Cincinnati NOON
Dallas @ Indianapolis NOON
Miami @ Minnesota NOON
Tennessee @ NY Giants NOON
Washington @ Jacksonville NOON
Tampa Bay @ Baltimore NOON
Seattle @ San Francisco 3:05 PM
New England @ Pittsburgh 3:25 PM
Phildadelphia @ LA Rams 7:20 PM

Monday: New Orleans @ Carolina 7:15 PM

Bro...

Welcome back to a special edition of the Wisconsin Rapids Bro League weekly review. As has been noticed by much of this blog's small audience, last week had a suspiciously silent WRBL Week in Review outside of the usual inside-baseball information that keeps this series running on a weekly basis. The reasoning for that was not because I'm a Toddler (pun intended) throwing a Playstation controller through a flat-screen television every time his older brother beats him at Crash Bandicoot Racing. Instead, the tolls of drafting Ray Rice, Adrian Peterson and Kareem Hunt during the seasons that their off-season issues ranging from domestic abuse to child abuse to assault became public had killed my love of fantasy football. I felt weird about selecting Joe Mixon each of the past two seasons AFTER he was caught on tape, punching some random woman at the age of 18 but alas, time had passed, no suspension was handed out to him by the NFL and a reformed man that could have just been a complete deadbeat failure of a human being seemed to have changed his ways enough for the Bengals to draft him as their explosive running back of the future. I was not convinced myself but given that he was not even of drinking age yet when the crime had occurred, I reluctantly selected Mixon and hoped for him to build up his case as a star running back enough to rid myself of him in return for value, which ended up being either a first or second round pick based on how Scott fares these next two weeks. I thought I could move on this season without feeling disappointment, shame or regret.

Before getting into my WRBL future, I'd like to announce that barring a three-game losing streak, another owner's three-game winning streak AND a 100-point comeback by the other owner in my touchdown-only league, that Steve Todd and I's Todd's Tornadoes are about to win back-to-back championships for the first time since the 1988-1989 seasons. We rode Russell Wilson (for the 1st half of 2018), Patrick Mahomes (for the 2nd half), Todd Gurley, Michael Thomas, Wil Lutz and the Bears defense (again, only for the 2nd half of the season) to my dad's sixth title in 39 seasons and I now have to purchase 2018 Championship hats as well to keep up with last season's special order of caps that I had custom-made. No offense to any other league that I am in but considering that league was the league that I used as a gateway drug to my sports addiction, it is my most-important league that I am in because it involves family and friendships of nearly four decades. I cannot wait to make it a three-peat and (hopefully) have the QB trio of Luck, Wilson and Mahomes for another ten years. 

With the victories that I have experienced these past two years and the victory I experienced three seasons ago in the Bro League, no amount of shock and joy has matched the amount of sheer disappointment and sadness I felt when I saw the Kareem Hunt news. I drafted Kareem Hunt in the 14th round back in 2017, saw him lead the league in rushing, become a first-team All-Bro RB as a rookie, made him the ultimate value pick as a keeper (that only cost me my second-to-last pick) in 2018 and even during the darkest of losing streaks for Crazy Todd's Driveway Band/Cole Likes Dragons, had faith in him as the lone bright spot on a roster of under-performers. This season, I drafted Patrick Mahomes as a 14th round draft pick (AGAIN with the value pick. All hail Andy Todd, proven draft king) and with my team crumbling outside of Chiefs' players, decided to deal Mahomes early on as his value was likely at a high for the year and nobody keeps quarterbacks so, I'd have a chance to take him back next year. In return, a first-round pick in RB David Johnson was quickly abandoned by Scott Aschebrook (who's ever heard of a 1st rounder being dealt for a 14th rounder after four weeks and having that trade work out for the guy dealing the 1st rounder?) and I made the best choices at QB that I could have (Jared Goff and Russell Wilson have been awesome when I've used them) and had an epic trio of Hunt, DJ and Mixon to look forward to each week. Things did not pan out as I had planned OBVIOUSLY and if I had kept Mahomes and traded Hunt instead, I'd probably still be in the losers' bracket but, I'd be able to drop my 15th rounder for the second year in a row instead of this barren wasteland of talent that I am currently looking at. Mixon and Odell Beckham Jr. (my 1st round pick this season) were traded AGAIN to Scott for Duke Johnson Jr. (a player that Hue Jackson may have read about once and Freddie Kitchens has since forgotten) and a 2019 first round pick. I may have looked dead in the water to other teams but in my mind, I had just come off an inspiring win without the aid of Mixon or OBJ and at 2-5, there was still half a regular season for me to turn things around.

As it turns out, my team was now just Kareem Hunt and a rotating cast of plug-ins that might work as spare parts on winning rosters but, not focal points on a winning WRBL team. Essentially, Hunt was my favorite player and I thought I'd have him throughout the entirety of his short NFL career (as a running back's odds of making it past ten seasons as fantasy relevant are slim-to-none). As it turns out, I did have Hunt for the entirety of his NFL career. Hopefully, he never plays a down of NFL football again and we never have to hear or see another story like this and the rate of women suffering violence at the hands of any person decreases. Of course, what has the NFL done to erase this problem? They've put some fancy labels on some important people giving advice that the NFL has not even bothered to listen to because they're only doing positive things for show and rarely, if ever, for action. Between the harsh reality that is this never-ending narrative of the NFL, the holiday season coming up and being my busiest time of year for hobbies like this blog (end of year music lists are right around the corner) and the conflicts that have arose in another one of my leagues about possible tanking and people losing interest after multiple decades (I still haven't seen my damn trophy from 2016 in that particular league and will be bitter until I do), I checked out last week. My brain could not take another week of hearing Cole Walters seriously complain about how I ruined the league by improving Scott's roster while further burying my own. My brain could not handle losing out on the Spencer Ware sweepstakes just because I work 2-11 five days a week only for the Hunt news to break at 2:30. My brain just wanted to have fun again and not stress out over shit as meaningless as this, while there are real people stressing out over realer shit everywhere. 

I'm willing to admit when I was wrong but, I was not wrong in making the trades that I made with Scott in terms of value and personal gains for both myself and Scott's Walter Polish Z Slayers. With that said, I am willing to reach a compromise with Cole and the rest of the league, even though I stand firm in admitting no wrongdoing. I propose that I will voluntarily hold on to no keepers this season IF and only IF Scott wins the league this year. If he does not complete his incredible winning streak with win #10 in a row in two weeks, I still get a keeper and his 2nd rounder. Why am I doing this? Because maybe the Fantasy Football Karma Gods saw me getting too comfortable with my bad team and decided to leak the tape to TMZ that sent my next offseason into a tailspin. I was raised Lutheran but, those fantasy football karma gods will seemingly get you every time. Also, is there really a player worth protecting on my roster right now? I'd argue that based on where everybody was drafted, absolutely not. It's been a mess of a year but, I'm willing to let it play out and come back next year and do this all over again, just to be disappointed by a video of David Johnson (or whomever I draft) pushing an elderly person into oncoming traffic.

Essentially what happened here but, with fantasy football.

As for the WRBL 2018 playoffs? We have Scott and Nick facing for the 11,000th postseason in a row and Ryan versus Alec in a matchup of "Alright, which one of you flatfoots is gonna blow this?". The losers' bracket? A rematch of week 14 sees Darrin trying to get his revenge on Andy after an upset sparked by T.Y. Hilton and Cole faces Sneen as two previous MoonBak losers look to avoid repeating past errors. Come back next week when maybe, just maybe I won't rant about myself for five or six paragraphs and actually talk football.

Scoring Leaders

QB

Patrick Mahomes 309 (Andy/Scott)

Drew Brees 273 (Ryan)

Aaron Rodgers 244 (Darrin)

Matt Ryan 244 (Alec)

Cam Newton 240 (Nick)

Tom Brady 188 (Sneen)

Jared Goff 144 (Andy)

DeShaun Watson 112 (Cole)

Andrew Luck 107 (Cole)

Russell Wilson 61 (Scott/Andy)

Philip Rivers 42 (Nick/Scott)
Jameis Winston 39 (Sneen)
Lamar Jackson 38 (Andy)
Carson Wentz 35 (Scott/Ryan)

Ryan Fitzpatrick 31 (Cole/Sneen)
Mitchell Trubisky 28 (Alec)
Kirk Cousins 20 (Nick)
Andy Dalton 7 (Darrin)

RB

Todd Gurley 327 (Ryan)

Saquon Barkley 324 (Alec)

Christian McCaffrey 313 (Scott)

Alvin Kamara 292 (Darrin)

Ezekiel Elliott 282 (Nick)

James Conner 256 (Cole)

Melvin Gordon 243 (Alec)

James White 227 (Darrin)

Kareem Hunt 223 (Andy)

David Johnson 190 (Scott/Andy)

Joe Mixon 148 (Andy/Scott)

Tevin Coleman 112 (Cole)

Phillip Lindsay 92 (Ryan)
Tarik Cohen 88 (Alec)

Aaron Jones 81 (Nick)

Sony Michel 78 (Sneen)

Isaiah Crowell 73 (Sneen)

LeSean McCoy 66 (Darrin)

Matt Breida 64 (Andy)

Jordan Howard 64 (Ryan)

Lamar Miller 63 (Darrin)

T.J. Yeldon 63 (Nick/Cole)

Leonard Fournette 59 (Cole)

Nick Chubb 48 (Scott)
Giovani Bernard 43 (Nick)

Dalvin Cook 42 (Andy/Scott)

Kenyan Drake 37 (Nick)

Austin Ekeler 36 (Andy/Nick)

Alex Collins 35 (Sneen)

Marlon Mack 34 (Cole)

Kerryon Johnson 31 (Nick)

Adrian Peterson 30 (Ryan)

Jalen Richard 28 (Sneen)
Mark Ingram 27 (Scott)

Chris Thompson 23 (Scott)

Chris Carson 19 (Nick)

Latavius Murray 19 (Darrin)

Duke Johnson Jr. 18 (Andy)
Dion Lewis 18 (Nick/Ryan)

Carlos Hyde 17 (Scott)

Javorius Allen 16 (Darrin)

Jamaal Williams 16 (Sneen)
Jaylen Samuels 15 (Andy)
Gus Edwards 14 (Andy)
Marshawn Lynch 14 (Cole)
Devonta Freeman 12 (Sneen)
Jeff Wilson Jr. 10 (Cole)

Josh Adams 8 (Ryan)
Peyton Barber 3 (Cole)

WR

Davante Adams 279 (Scott)

Adam Thielen 277 (Cole)

Tyreek Hill 274 (Alec)

Michael Thomas 262 (Ryan)

Antonio Brown 259 (Darrin)

Julio Jones 257 (Ryan)

DeAndre Hopkins 244 (Nick)

JuJu Smith-Schuster 232 (Sneen)

Keenan Allen 231 (Nick)

Mike Evans 217 (Scott)

Stefon Diggs 214 (Alec)

T.Y. Hilton 191 (Andy)

Odell Beckham Jr. 180 (Andy/Scott)

A.J. Green 144 (Cole)

Robert Woods 134 (Sneen)

Brandin Cooks 105 (Nick)

Emmanuel Sanders 97 (Cole)

Jarvis Landry 91 (Scott)

Demaryius Thomas 91 (Darrin)

Amari Cooper 63 (Alec)

Cooper Kupp 61 (Alec)

Josh Gordon 59 (Andy)

Golden Tate 54 (Ryan)

Julian Edelman 52 (Nick)

Sammy Watkins 52 (Sneen)

Tyler Lockett 45 (Darrin)

Larry Fitzgerald 40 (Cole)

Tyler Boyd 35 (Cole)

Doug Baldwin 34 (Sneen)

Alshon Jeffery 34 (Ryan)

Sterling Shepard 32 (Andy)

D.J. Moore 28 (Alec)

Chris Hogan 27 (Sneen)

Marvin Jones 20 (Darrin)

Corey Davis 19 (Ryan/Andy)

Allen Robinson 19 (Alec)

Chris Godwin 18 (Darrin)

Will Fuller 17 (Sneen)

Devin Funchess 14 (Andy)

Nelson Agholor 13 (Ryan)

John Brown 12 (Andy)

Keelan Cole 12 (Andy)

Jamison Crowder 9 (Andy)

Taylor Gabriel 9 (Alec)
Randall Cobb 8 (Nick)

Kenny Golladay 5 (Scott)
Courtland Sutton 3 (Cole)

DeVante Parker 1 (Cole)

TE

Travis Kelce 252 (Nick)

Zach Ertz 230 (Sneen)

George Kittle 187 (Cole)

Eric Ebron 146 (Ryan)

Jared Cook 92 (Scott/Darrin)

Jimmy Graham 87 (Darrin)

Jordan Reed 78 (Scott/Nick)

Rob Gronkowski 74 (Sneen)

David Njoku 65 (Alec)

Austin Hooper 58 (Andy/Scott)

Evan Engram 46 (Andy)

Trey Burton 44 (Alec)

Kyle Rudolph 43 (Ryan)

O.J. Howard 39 (Andy)

Greg Olsen 13 (Ryan/Cole)

Benjamin Watson 10 (Andy)

C.J. Uzomah 9 (Darrin)
Delanie Walker 9 (Cole)
Cameron Brate 6 (Andy)

K

Wil Lutz 133 (Alec)

Harrison Butker 122 (Andy)

Justin Tucker 117 (Scott)

Stephen Gostkowski 115 (Nick)

Mason Crosby 113 (Sneen)

Matt Prater 87 (Ryan/Cole)

Greg Zuerlein 78 (Ryan)

Matt Bryant 52 (Cole)

Robbie Gould 44 (Darrin)

Dan Bailey 34 (Darrin)
Ka'imi Fairbairn 15 (Andy/Scott)
Adam Vinatieri 14 (Nick/Ryan)
Jake Elliott 10 (Darrin)

Cairo Santos 10 (Ryan)
Jason Myers 6 (Scott)
Ryan Succop 5 (Nick)
Graham Gano 3 (Alec)

Chris Boswell 2 (Darrin)

DF

Houston Texans 97 (Sneen/Nick/Ryan)

Los Angeles Rams 91 (Scott)

Chicago Bears 90 (Andy)

Baltimore Ravens 72 (Darrin/Andy/Scott)

Minnesota Vikings 63 (Cole/Darrin)

Indianapolis Colts 50 (Andy/Sneen)

Jacksonville Jaguars 47 (Alec)

Los Angeles Chargers 38 (Nick)

Philadelphia Eagles 34 (Ryan)

Green Bay Packers 31 (Sneen/Cole)

Miami Dolphins 24 (Sneen/Nick)

New England Patriots 24 (Nick/Andy)

Carolina Panthers 21 (Cole)

Buffalo Bills 19 (Cole/Nick)

Cleveland Browns 19 (Nick/Darrin)
Detroit Lions 17 (Cole)

Kansas City Chiefs 17 (Alec)

Arizona Cardinals 16 (Cole/Nick)

Denver Broncos 15 (Nick/Alec)

Washington 14 (Ryan)

Pittsburgh Steelers 11 (Alec)

Dallas Cowboys 7 (Cole)
New York Jets 4 (Darrin/Andy)

New Orleans Saints -4 (Andy)

Hypothetical Standings

We Don't Trade Picks 11-3

Tax Paying Homeowner 10-4

Walter Polish Z Slayers 10-4

Team Easy Breesy 7-7

Colieveland 96ers 6-8

Team ChowHounds 6-8

The Team Known As Bad 5-9

SNEEN MACHINE 1-13