2016 WRBL Year In Review

It started out with a burger, how did it end up like this? It was only a burger. It was only a burger. The 2016 Wisconsin Rapids River Rafters' season was one that saw unimaginable heights reached and left the glorious label of "Northwoods League Champions" on the small city (or is it a large town?) of Wiscompton Trapids forever. Another consequence that nobody saw coming was how the Rafters' run decided the 3rd semi-official season of our Wisconsin Rapids Bro League, the gentlemen's (and Cole's) fantasy football league of central Wisconsin. (More on that in a bit)

"I must say that that seemed like a most unnecessary dig at Cole's character" "I would concur with this sentiment if you weren't wearing so many unnecessary layers of clothing, sir".

As the first annual holder of the trophy that shall not be named (should we change the name now that the namesake is engaged? I'm just here to start a discussion, not a war), I could tell that the fellow owner whose eyes would not leave the trophy and whose mouth would salivate to the point of drooling every time I let him near the trophy was Cole Walters. Whether it was that one time at Zurawski headquarters when I was trying to construct the GOAT NBA 2K team with DeMarcus Cousins and Dwight Howard but Cole was too busy asking to hold the trophy or any of the many times he gave an envious 'like' on my many Facebook photos featuring the silver football-like figure, dude was thirsty for victory.

Coincidentally, I was super hungry once upon a time at a Rafters playoff game and Cole Walters happened to be sitting nearby so, when the man, the myth and the legend rose to his feet during an intermission to retrieve food, I said "Yo, I'll trade you a late-round draft pick for a cheeseburger". The WRBL draft was still at least one month away and I didn't expect him to consider the offer at the cost of actual, physical money (cheeseburgers were not cheap during the burger famine of 2016). Alas, Cole returned with said burger and I was impressed by his dedication for any slight advantage over the rest of the league so far away from the draft.

"Tastes like a losing season and not at all bribery."

Draft night took place at Buffalo Wild Wings (AKA: Backup league headquarters behind the Aschebrook household) and with no device to draft on, clearly I was ALL IN on HALF-ASSING the entire season. Luckily the Aschebrook family pulled through in the clutch again as Scott had his cracked laptop all ready for me to draft with. It took me a while to finally obtain a tablet of my own but, I happen to be using one to write this whole review #WeMadeIt. Six owners were present on draft night as were the trophy, a shit ton of television screens and obviously, wings galore. Moon and Sneen couldn't be there but, you could argue that was just foreshadowing for the season ahead.

The draft's order was randomly generated by ESPN and shockingly, I held the first pick. The second pick belonged to Cole and since I figured he had forgotten about his good cheeseburger deed, that nudged my brain into overdrive with the #1 overall pick. Before the draft even began, I wrote down Antonio Brown's name on the trading block, hoping that Cole would bite and throw out some wild offer just like the Eagles and Rams did in the 2016 NFL Draft but, there were no buyers anywhere at the table or in the online draft room. The 90-second countdown began and I panicked in a way I had never reacted before or since.

Sure, I would have loved to have won the league again but, I would also love to wake up in bed next to Rooney Mara and Cara DeLevingne (with hair). I was undecided between two players, my obvious #1 player on everyone's radar, Antonio Brown and a personal favorite from my victorious fantasy team and someone that won me a Rookie of the Year plaque in another league, Todd Gurley. I decided that it was best for league parity and a nod of respect for the great Cole Walters that I let him take the superior player while I had fun staying loyal to my 2015 team featuring Gurley, Tom Brady and Delanie Walker. It wasn't quite as fun as I had envisioned due to some extremely mediocre Gurley production but, I have no regerts.

I was eating a Milky Way during that last sentence.

The rest of the draft went smoothly and with preseason football clouding our brains from every angle, the hype for Browns' receiver Josh Gordon was higher than it ever was coming into the draft or since that night. The draft was great and all and the food was an added bonus but, trust me when I say that Josh Gordon was the real story of the evening much like Rihanna was the real story of game 1 of the NBA Finals this year. Scott was the "lucky" owner to land the previously-troubled talent and claimed "I saw the way Andy was looking at him on TV, I could see the lust in his eyes". Now, I'm not great at reading other people's emotions but, I could tell Scott was at least a tiny bit pumped to select Gordon and I was just a tiny bit amused when Gordon didn't play a down all season. I wish nothing but the best for Gordon in his future battles against whatever it is that's keeping him off the field and I hope that Scott keeps up his annual "THE FINAL SHOE HAS YET TO DROP" additions of injured/suspended players.

Prior to week one's kickoff between Denver and Carolina (A Super Bowl 50 rematch), Cole visibly forfeited the season by sending Mark Ingram to Scott for another, lesser RB C.J. Anderson. How this did not derail the Walters' train, I will never know. Anderson was lost for the season in week 7 while Ingram only went on to rush for 1,000 yards and scored 10 touchdowns in total. Surprisingly, this was the only trade made between the draft and week one, compared to last season's three trades including major names like Adrian Peterson, Julio Jones and Demaryius Thomas.

The 2016 season kicked with a whimper on a Thursday night that saw the mediocre, Trevor Siemian-led Broncos face off against the eventually terrible Panthers. I'd give you a result for the game but, neither team was noteworthy at any point during the season and I'm going to sleep just thinking about them. Thursday night games continued to bore fans and casual viewers of the league alike and despite the obvious money and ratings grabbing that are keeping TNF alive, one can't help but feel that the days of four-day rest periods for NFL teams is nearing an end sometime soon. The consensus is in and Thursday Night Football is a turd emoji.

Rule proposal: The loser of the Sacko/Moon Bowl should have to wear this for the entirety of draft night. No breaks. Punishment for taking it off results in losses of draft picks. Good luck and Godspeed.

Week one settled the future of Cole Walters' interest in the WRBL as he made a bet with fellow owner Alec Swanson over their week one matchup. If Cole were to lose, he would have quit the league immediately and we'd have to find someone to replace him. If Alec lost... I'm still not sure what the other end of this bet was but, Cole had a tremendous week and Alec supercast shuffled into a corner, where he sobbed uncontrollably. 184-136 was one of the highest point totals we saw between two teams this season and it was all thanks to Antonio Brown (32), Brandin Cooks (33) and recently-acquired C.J. Anderson (29), that Cole was able to continue to defend his honor after a sketchy last-place finish in 2015.

Team Moon had a regular season win streak (dating back to 2015) extended to 9 games with a weak 96-85 victory over Sneen and his rusted machine. At the time, Evan was still fully focused on his lineup and a surprise performance from TE Julius Thomas was enough for victory. I managed to fall for Ameer Abdullah and his ridiculous week one numbers again as he aided me in a 127-point effort that was futile against GREATEST FANTASY FOOTBALL TEAM OWNER ALIVE Scott Aschebrook and sneaky DeAngelo Williams, benefiting off of Le'Veon Bell's suspension. Also, Nick got destroyed by Darrin because we as a league respect our elders. Week 1 is always great for overreaction and shockingly, most of the overreactions from week 1 held on to be true.

Week 2 saw Buffalo take an early lead in the organizational dysfunction rankings (there's a future blog idea) with a pathetic loss to the Jets featuring no defense (Curse you, Ryan brothers!) and the far too early firing of offensive coordinator Greg Roman. Things weren't terrible all season long for the Bills but, they still missed the postseason and canned both Ryans. Minnesota looked amazing against Green Bay as Sam Bradford finally reached his potential after less than twenty days as a Viking and a minor hand injury (he is Sam Bradford after all). The purple and gold had their moments but, with Adrian Peterson and many, many other starters ending up on Injured Reserve, Mike Zimmer's team just missed out on the playoffs.

Rumor has it that the Ryan brothers hired clones to coach for them after week two as they tandem-biked their way to Bristol, Connecticut for their new roles at ESPN as analyzer (Rex) and scary janitor (Rob).

Scott's dad was the final remaining undefeated team and this time it only took two weeks for the rest of the league to show cracks in their foundations. Moon took a shit in his team's bed and decided to leave it there for the rest of the season, Alec was too heavily reliant on current and former Bears like Matt Forte' and Alshon Jeffery, my love for Ameer Abdullah was misguided again, Scott had his lineup set up perfectly for leagues that ignored tight ends, Nick had multiple killer injuries at receiver in a PPR league and Cole was Cole so, we all KNEW he wouldn't win.

In terms of obvious results, Cole blowing his odds at winning the league in epic fashion ranked somewhere behind the Patriots succeeding without Tom Brady for four games. The pinnacle of Bill Belichick being a genius was his Jacoby Brissett-led team defeating Houston and BROCK LOBSTER 27-0. It was either one of the most well-coached games I've ever seen or just another awful Thursday night game (Please do something about this, NFL). After #Ballghazi2015, it took the NFL and the United States Court System a full year to decide that it was okay for the face of the league to get suspended for slight alterations to game balls. To quote Chester Pennington of Linkin Park, "In the end... it doesn't even matter". The team went 3-1 with Jimmy Garrapolo and the rookie, Brissett under center.

Week 3 also saw it's share of tragedies, not excluding an 80+ point loss by Alec. Hopefully the lone married (let's just pretend Darrin doesn't exist for this point) member of the league takes solace in knowing he has found the one while I and many others are simply married to our fantasy teams. At least I had Tom Brady and his excessively creepy mattress commercials to warm my heart through difficult moments.

"Leave now, for I must deflate the shit out of this mattress"

Drew Brees was more than adequate as Brady's suspension-relief quarterback and his 24 points week 3 were a highlight that should have caused a rise in trade offers for the annual 5,000 yard thrower. Unfortunately for Brees, his NFL team was just as mediocre as his WRBL team and a 5,208-yard season was only good enough for another 7-9 season.

You wouldn't have guessed that Julio Jones' 300-yard game was enough to end Darrin's undefeated run just by looking at Scott's temporary team name. Alas, Julio Beat That Undefeatedteam beat that undefeated team in week four by a surprisingly large margin (a largin?) of 160-116. Even with some future games off due to injury, the Jones-led Falcons thrived and finally pulled together a full season, only to lose in the most Falconesque of fashions on the nation's biggest stage.

The Warriors and Indians blowing 3-1 leads were one thing but, this was ridiculous.

The Cardinals of Arizona may have pissed away an entire season thanks to the PTSD of Carson Palmer's NFC Championship performance the previous season but, one bright spot on the team was RB David Johnson, the #1 fantasy player in 2016. Johnson was a major piece in Nick Zurawski's record-setting week 5 performance that saw our resident Dolphins fan put up 185 points on Scott's tots. Another player that had a breakthrough fantasy season was fellow Zurawski-owned weapon WR T.Y. Hilton, a steady fantasy option that shockingly led the league in receiving yards despite another missed postseason for Hilton's Colts.

Scott's dad somehow managed to tear his meniscus in week five and that only made him stronger as a fantasy owner since he had more downtime to destroy Cole. Moon "forgot" to set his lineup and suffered the appropriate consequences despite my lackluster battle of mediocrity that October weekend. Overall, week 5 was a sign that this was no ordinary season but, a sign of unexpected times ahead in both fantasy and reality.

Week 6 was not the most interesting week and I began to phone in the season as I experienced a relaxing Sunday without football while salty Cold Saltwaters dropped to 2-4, last place in his division and changed his team name to "Fuck The Playoff System". I'm not sure what type of playoff criteria would let in a 2-4 team but, there was still a ton of season remaining.

David Johnson's 3-touchdown performance in week six basically locked him in as the #1 fantasy running back of 2016. DJ may have guided Nick Zurawski to the playoffs but, his mediocre Cardinals could not be saved.

Up until the seventh week of the season, we had no disastrous lineup decisions that made or destroyed any team's playoff odds. All it took was one NFC North game to alter the season and my personal interest in a repeat championship. Leaving two twenty-point Packer receivers on the bench versus an ineffective Aaron Rodgers (which rarely EVER happens) was the defining moment of my 2016 fantasy season. Not to mention, Jordy Nelson forever locked himself in on my shit list and Cameron Meredith over any Packer was not even defensible pre-game.

The Bears really sucked with Matt Barkley and Brian Hoyer having to play a majority of the season and Alec's fantasy team also suffered as a result. Chicago's Alshon Jeffery and poopy Jacksonville's Allen Robinson put up a combined 8 points while former-Bear Matt Forte' went on a tear on Mr. Swanson's bench. With one simple, obvious choice, either one of us could have altered the courses of later reality and Sneen or TyRod Henke could have taken the eventual king's playoff seed. What a disgrace.

Alec and I must now wear the cone of shame for our week 7 sins.

After an 0-for-2 start, Nick Zurawski had ridden T.Y. Hilton and David Johnson to a 5-for-5 run. Nick's NFL team was similarly streaky with the Miami Dolphins propelling into the playoffs thanks to a six-game winning streak after a 1-4 start. The 'fins were a fun little underdog until Ryan Tannehill suffered a partially torn ACL and the defensive backs dropped like flies. RB Jay Ajayi was the real story of the season however, with four separate 200-yard games after landing in Adam Gase's doghouse in favor of since-retired Arian Foster.

Z's five-week hot streak came to an end at the hands of GOAT regular season owner, Darrin Aschebrook (7-1 at the time) in week eight. Aaron Rodgers captained the Chowhounds to victory during an epic future NFC Championship preview that saw Atlanta victorious by one point. The division that had Alec, Cole, Scott and I was crowded while the other division seemed decided early with Nick and Darrin rolling over everyone in their paths.

Ezekiel Elliott and the Cowboys also rolled over their schedule with their all-rookie backfield yet, Zeke did not have that much of an impact on the WRBL postseason race due to a trade that nearly defined the season. Worthless Moon and his irrelevant team made a trade with Scott where Elliott, Amari Cooper, Justin Tucker and the (insert new owner here)'s team's 10th and 11th went to Scott for nobody RB Terrance West, Dustin Hopkins, a first rounder and Scott's fourth pick. It was seen as wildly unfair even after going through as a legal trade. Collusion whispers were enough to make Scott bench Elliott and Cooper after one wildly impressive week but, sneaky Scott left the best kicker in football, Justin Tucker, sit in his lineup. Meanwhile, the Moon rolled over and died.

Tucker's Ravens had a season filled with injuries (again) yet, somehow stayed alive until Antonio Brown's shocking last-minute game-winning touchdown on Christmas. An 8-8 season is never something to be wildly happy about but, I was totally okay with avoiding the Sacko/Moon during mine. Ultimately, Baltimore's season went okay while Cincinnati imploded and finished 6-9-1 after making and losing in four consecutive postseasons. The Browns were the Browns (1-15) and the Steelers still can't make a Super Bowl with the best offensive trio in the NFL (Roethlisberger, Bell and Brown). It's unfortunate that the AFC North was a snoozer but, at least the Browns have a plan going and with names like Bell, Brown, Isaiah Crowell and A.J. Green, there still is use for the AFC North.

One can only wonder how great Pittsburgh could have been with the suspended Martavis Bryant.

Between Mike Evans' 38-point Thursday night showing and new addition Ezekiel Elliott's 22-point "I'm saving my best for the tough games" performance versus the Browns, it's easy to see how Scott put up 186 against Alec's highly impressive 161 in week nine. Alec responded by adding another Bear in rookie standout Jordan Howard and while the Swanson brand (tm) never recovered, Howard excelled on an otherwise worthless team once Alshon Jeffery was suspended for PED usage. In return, the now 6-3 Moon's Microdongs (owned by Nick Zurawski) acquired a package that included Zurawski favorite Andrew Luck.

Luck's Colts failed to win the AFC South again, this time due to a Texans team that was nearly decapitated by errant Brock Lobster passes and the exciting rising force that are the Mike Mularkey-led Titans (words I never thought I'd have to use in a real sentence. As the second half of the season begun, the Titans became a very real AFC threat with their run-oriented offense and every carry DeMarco Murray took as an Eagle was immediately forgotten. Tennessee may have barely missed the playoffs but, 2016 was a resounding success.

In week ten, Scott agreed to bench Elliott and Cooper for the remainder of the season to satisfy the TRIGGERED league owners but, Justin Tucker remained in Bought Not Built's lineup. The tenth week was notable for many reasons as the Broncos defeated the Saints on a blocked extra point that turned into a two-point conversion, Swanson's newest player, Jordan Howard, fumbled and lost two points in what was a two-point loss to TyRod Henke and only shitty Moon scored fewer than 100 points that week, dropping 98 and ending up two points short. Two was the number of the week in week ten. Two was also Chip Kelly's win total as the head coach of the 49ers, which led to his firing immediately following the regular season.

Surprisingly, the entire NFC West was uncompetitive as the Seahawks ran away with the division as Carson Palmer was forever unhinged by his 2015 playoff performance, the Rams were young, dumb and coached by Jeff Fisher and the Niners were more focused on politics than their play. Seattle went on to lose in the second round of the postseason to Atlanta and they still cannot develop an offensive line.

Anthem protests and lowered TV ratings defined another generic NFL season dominated by New England.

Week 11 made it apparent that nobody wanted the 4th seed in the WRBL playoffs. SNEEN MACHINE, Cole's Fuck The Playoff System and my TyRod Henke were all tied for the final playoff spot with losing records (5-6). Darrin and his Aaron Rodgers had dropped two in a row but, 8-3 still locked him into a playoff spot. Jordy Nelson finished two yards short of tying Moon's Microdongs, thus tying Nick and Darrin at 8-3 in their division.

Speaking of divisions, the AFC West is about to see a ton of change with the Raiders headed to Las Vegas in 2020, the Chargers playing for Los Angeles next season and the Chiefs and Broncos will likely transition to younger quarterbacks in the very near future as Alex Smith still can't outdo his replacement, Kaepernick, by making a Super Bowl in the starting lineup. The Chargers fell to the injury bug again in 2016 with their entire defense seemingly on IR alongside Keenan Allen. The Raiders were suddenly America's team until week 16 when both Derek Carr and the Titans' Marcus Mariota flukishly broke one of their legs. Connor Cook could not outdo the Brock Lobster in the finest quarterback duel the NFL playoffs will ever see.

 Week 12 was just as exciting as the last week before the last week before the last week before the WRBL playoffs should be. The 5-6 trio tied for 4th turned into a 6-6 solo of Cole Walters when his Davante Adams held off Aschebrook Sr.'s Aaron Rodgers. That Packers-Eagles game where Davante Adams caught 28 fantasy points of Walters' approved chaos likely defined the entire season. It wasn't Tom Brady leading my evil empire to a second championship in a row, it wasn't Scott becoming the Ladanian Tomlinson-era Chargers (All the excitement in the world with nothing to show), it wasn't even Moon becoming the Black Sox and being at least suspended from our league. Davante Adams was the 2016 WHY IS THIS THE GUY THAT'S IMPORTANT NOW, WTF HAPPENED? version of Tim Hightower.

Adams provided a helpful nudge in the proper direction for the Walters Revolution of 2016.

The Jets regressed in a way everybody saw coming (QB turnover issues), the Texans rode a J.J. Watt-less defense to the playoffs, the Jaguars stunk again, the Eagles were both younger and more promising under Doug Pederson than Chip Kelly's 2015 roster, Washington was just mediocre enough to make another season's worth of excuses for not signing Kirk Cousins long-term, the Giants rebuilt their defense into becoming one of the league's finest units only to drop their playoff game in Lambeau Field (literally), the Lions provided the most consistent challenge to Green Bay despite relying on Zach Zenner and Dwayne Washington in the backfield, the Buccaneers improved under first-year coach Dirk Koetter and the jambalaya the Saints were cooking up was more of a tomato bisque because that defense has never been the same since they won their Super Bowl 7 years ago.

Team Chowhounds, Moon's Microdongs, Bought Not Built and Fuck The Playoff System all made the playoffs while Sneen, Alec, myself and Moon all threw things at our televisions once it became apparent we let Cole into the playoffs and yadayadayada... Cole Walters was crowned the 2016 Wisconsin Rapids Bro League Champion as he quite literally fucked the entire playoff system. Cole's to-do list every morning reads like this...

1. Borrow the Suburban
2, Build up a 96-point deficit
3. Fuck The Playoff System

Some might say I just yadayada'd the best part and to that I say...

Also, this is a severe copout for the Year In Review being rushed due to a suddenly scheduled draft that was simultaneously convenient and inconvenient because I'm a procrastinator that also works five days a week and if Cole does not appreciate me short-changing his postseason run, he can either write up a review of his own or continue fucking the playoff system. Travis Kelce was great, Dak Prescott was clutch and Antonio Brown won me a free cheeseburger.

Also, Sneen won/lost the MoonBak in a result we will ignore until we find a proper reward for such an accomplishment.

Final Regular Season Standings
Fisher Division
Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 10-4 W2
Moon's Microdongs (Nick Zurawski) 10-4 W2
SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 7-7 L1
Team Moon (Evan Moon) 1-13 L13

Fassel Division

Bought Not Built (Scott Aschebrook) 11-3 W6

Fuck The Playoff System (Cole Walters) 7-7 W1

TyRod Henke (Andy Todd) 6-8 L2

Team Swanson (Alec Swanson) 4-10 L3

Cole took The Shelby to work. RIP MC Sports.

Once he took the trophy to work, our champion ran into Tom Zurawski.

The Shelby apparently took a road trip with Dave Walters Sr. Jr. IV

The Shelby got her first experience tailgating in her second annual trip to Miller Park.

Friend of the league, Simon Stevenoski may never join us but, The Shelby is all too important a reward to continue ignoring.

Every WRBL member is a celebrity in their own right, past or present but, famous wrestler Jerry Lawler might be the only person with a Wikipedia page to meet our wondrous trophy of glory.

Things we blamed Cole Walters for in 2015

1. The ending of the movie, Titanic.

2. Brad Pitt's infidelities.

3. FIVE losing records in the WRBL.

4. That beer almost hitting Hyun-Soo Kim.

5. Those Neil Patrick Harris Heineken advertisements.

6. The Fonz jumping over a shark.

7. Fruit Stripes gum.

8. Youtube comments.

9. The catchy tune that is Aqua's "Barbie Girl".

10. Nickleback.

11. How some people pronounce the word "mature".

12. The lack of streaming options at the Tight End position.

13. Drake's "Views" being a Grammy nominee.
14. The alarming rate at which bees are dying.

15. The ESPN Fantasy app.

16. My GPS recognizing Nekoosa's finest snowmobile trails as fully-functioning roads.

Divisional Names by Week in 2016

1. Le'Veon & DeAngelo

2. Kornheiser & Wilbon

3. Earn & Paper Boi

4. Pancake & Waffle

5. Tolliver & Hobert

6. Hilton & Ritchie

7. Knope & Perkins

8. Harbaugh & Dantonio

9. Lombardi & Stram

10. Swae Lee & Slim Jxmmy

11. Thunder & Lightning

12. Bo Levi Mitchell & Henry Burriss

13. Sale & Price

14. Fisher & Fassel

15. -No divisional update due to PLAYOFFS-

16. -PLAYOFFS-

Final Standings
1st - Fuck The Playoff System (Cole Walters)
2nd - Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook)
3rd - Moon's Microdongs (Nick Zurawski)
4th - Kathy Walters + Scott = Forever (Scott Aschebrook)
5th - Team Moon (Evan Moon)
6th - Team Swanson (Alec Swanson)
7th - TyRod Henke (Andy Todd)
8th - SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen)

Team-by-Team Results

Key: Opponent's Name, Result. It's really that simple. 

Team Chowhounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 2nd, 10-4

Week 1 - Nick Zurawski W 133-96

Week 2 - Evan Moon W 131-105

Week 3 - Tyler Sneen W 149-107

Week 4 - Scott Aschebrook L 116-160

Week 5 - Cole Walters W 154-86

Week 6 - Alec Swanson W 113-88

Week 7 - Andy Todd W 117-104

Week 8 - Nick Zurawski W 135-92

Week 9 - Evan Moon W 128-71

Week 10 - Tyler Sneen L 120-127

Week 11 - Scott Aschebrook L 89-107

Week 12 - Cole Walters L 125-135

Week 13 - Alec Swanson W 133-87

Week 14 - Andy Todd W 97-84

Week 15 - #3 Nick Zurawski W 151-91
Week 16 - #4 Cole Walters L 113-129

Kathy Walters + Scott = Forever (Scott Aschebrook) 4th, 11-3

Week 1 - Andy Todd W 138-127

Week 2 - Alec Swanson L 129-138

Week 3 - Cole Walters W 124-98

Week 4 - Darrin Aschebrook W 160-116

Week 5 - Nick Zurawski L 124-185

Week 6 - Evan Moon W 132-118

Week 7 - Tyler Sneen W 144-79

Week 8 - Andy Todd L 96-124

Week 9 - Alec Swanson W 187-161

Week 10 - Cole Walters W 152-113

Week 11 - Darrin Aschebrook W 107-89

Week 12 - Nick Zurawski W 161-115

Week 13 - Evan Moon W 118-68

Week 14 - Tyler Sneen W 135-124

Week 15 - #4 Cole Walters L 112-119

Week 16 - #3 Nick Zurawski L 136-146

Team Moon (Evan Moon) 5th, 1-13

Week 1 - Tyler Sneen W 96-85

Week 2 - Darrin Aschebrook L 105-131

Week 3 - Nick Zurawski L 114-137

Week 4 - Alec Swanson L 89-126

Week 5 - Andy Todd L 116-134

Week 6 - Scott Aschebrook L 118-132

Week 7 - Cole Walters L 87-136

Week 8 - Tyler Sneen L 94-116

Week 9 - Darrin Aschebrook L 71-128

Week 10 - Nick Zurawski L 98-101

Week 11 - Alec Swanson L 52-79

Week 12 - Andy Todd L 95-109

Week 13 - Scott Aschebrook L 68-118

Week 14 - Cole Walters L 77-90

Week 15 - #5 Tyler Sneen W 115-95

Week 16 - #7 Alec Swanson W 103-95

SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 8th, 7-7

Week 1 - Evan Moon L 85-96

Week 2 - Nick Zurawski W 115-86

Week 3 - Darrin Aschebrook L 107-149

Week 4 - Cole Walters L 86-98

Week 5 - Alec Swanson L 93-127

Week 6 - Andy Todd W 160-113

Week 7 - Scott Aschebrook L 79-144

Week 8 - Evan Moon W 116-94

Week 9 - Nick Zurawski L 88-106

Week 10 - Darrin Aschebrook W 127-120

Week 11 - Cole Walters W 138-99

Week 12 - Alec Swanson W 154-97

Week 13 - Andy Todd W 138-106

Week 14 - Scott Aschebrook L 124-135

Week 15 - #8 Evan Moon L 95-115

Week 16 - #6 Andy Todd L 111-129

Team Swanson (Alec Swanson) 6th, 4-10

Week 1 - Cole Walters L 136-184

Week 2 - Scott Aschebrook W 138-129

Week 3 - Andy Todd L 71-154

Week 4 - Evan Moon W 126-89

Week 5 - Tyler Sneen W 127-93

Week 6 - Darrin Aschebrook W 113-88

Week 7 - Nick Zurawski L 129-140

Week 8 - Cole Walters L 126-132

Week 9 - Scott Aschebrook L 161-187

Week 10 - Andy Todd L 116-118

Week 11 - Evan Moon W 79-52

Week 12 - Tyler Sneen L 97-154

Week 13 - Darrin Aschebrook L 87-133

Week 14 - Nick Zurawski L 77-145

Week 15 - #6 Andy Todd W 76-68

Week 16 - #8 Evan Moon L 95-103

TyRod Henke (Andy Todd) 7th, 6-8

Week 1 - Scott Aschebrook L 127-138

Week 2 - Cole Walters W 106-94

Week 3 - Alec Swanson L 71-154

Week 4 - Nick Zurawski W 116-84

Week 5 - Evan Moon W 134-116

Week 6 - Tyler Sneen L 113-160

Week 7 - Darrin Aschebrook L 104-117

Week 8 - Scott Aschebrook W 124-96

Week 9 - Cole Walters L 92-152

Week 10 - Alec Swanson W 118-116

Week 11 - Nick Zurawski L 135-136

Week 12 - Evan Moon W 109-95

Week 13 - Tyler Sneen L 106-138

Week 14 - Darrin Aschebrook L 84-97

Week 15 - #7 Alec Swanson L 68-76

Week 16 - #5 Tyler Sneen W 129-111

Fuck The Playoff System (Cole Walters) CHAMPION, 7-7

Week 1 - Alec Swanson L 136-184

Week 2 - Andy Todd L 94-106

Week 3 - Scott Aschebrook L 98-124

Week 4 - Tyler Sneen W 98-86

Week 5 - Darrin Aschebrook L 86-154

Week 6 - Nick Zurawski L 86-129

Week 7 - Evan Moon W 136-87

Week 8 - Alec Swanson W 132-126

Week 9 - Andy Todd W 152-92

Week 10 - Scott Aschebrook L 113-152

Week 11 - Tyler Sneen L 99-138

Week 12 - Darrin Aschebrook W 135-125

Week 13 - Nick Zurawski L 127-133

Week 14 - Evan Moon W 90-77

Week 15 - #1 Scott Aschebrook W 119-112

Week 16 - #2 Darrin Aschebrook W 129-113

Moon's Microdongs (Nick Zurawski) 3rd, 10-4

Week 1 - Darrin Aschebrook L 96-133

Week 2 - Tyler Sneen L 86-115

Week 3 - Evan Moon W 137-114

Week 4 - Andy Todd W 116-84

Week 5 - Scott Aschebrook W 185-124

Week 6 - Cole Walters W 129-86

Week 7 - Alec Swanson W 140-129

Week 8 - Darrin Aschebrook L 92-135

Week 9 - Tyler Sneen W 106-88

Week 10 - Evan Moon W 101-98

Week 11 - Andy Todd W 136-135

Week 12 - Scott Aschebrook L 115-161

Week 13 - Cole Walters W 133-127

Week 14 - Alec Swanson W 145-77

Week 15 - #2 Darrin Aschebrook L 91-151

Week 16 - #1 Scott Aschebrook W 146-136

Player Scoring By Team

Key: * = Scored for another team as well.

Team ChowHounds

QB - Aaron Rodgers 331

QB - Andy Dalton 15

RB - LeSean McCoy 271

RB - Devonta Freeman 242

RB - Ty Montgomery 37*

RB - Darren Sproles 25

RB - Robert Kelley 16

RB - Ryan Mathews 14

WR - Larry Fitzgerald 225

WR - DeAndre Hopkins 155

WR - Mike Wallace 84

WR - Jordan Matthews 45
WR - Travis Benjamin 36
WR - Michael Thomas 24*
WR - Donte Moncrief 19*
TE - Greg Olsen 196
TE - Kyle Rudolph 10
K - Mason Crosby 85*
K - Steven Hauschka 42
DF - Denver Broncos 132

Kathy Walters + Scott = Forever
QB - Cam Newton 155
QB - Matt Ryan 150
RB - Le'Veon Bell 306
RB - DeMarco Murray 237
RB - Mark Ingram 87
RB - Ezekiel Elliott 69*
RB - DeAngelo Williams 64
RB - James White 15
RB - Kenneth Farrow 4
WR - Mike Evans 279
WR - Julio Jones 232
WR - Michael Crabtree 52
WR - Jeremy Maclin 36
WR - Taylor Gabriel 17
TE - Jimmy Graham 104
TE - Tyler Eifert 45
TE - Dennis Pitta 26
TE - Jason Witten 8*
TE - Jared Cook 1
K - Justin Tucker 92*
K - Dustin Hopkins 34
K - Mason Crosby 22*
DF - Arizona Cardinals 58
DF - Seattle Seahawks 56
DF - Minnesota Vikings 7*

Team Moon
QB - Carson Palmer 103
QB - Ben Roethlisberger 75*
RB - Ezekiel Elliott 114*
RB - Duke Johnson Jr. 103
RB - Jonathan Stewart 74
RB - Eddie Lacy 24
RB - Adrian Peterson 6
WR - Demaryius Thomas 212
WR - Doug Baldwin 144
WR - Amari Cooper 142
WR - Marvin Jones 53
WR - Sterling Shepard 40
WR - Corey Coleman 30
TE - Hunter Henry 62*
TE - Julius Thomas 53
K - Justin Tucker 78*
K - Wil Lutz 72
DF - Baltimore Ravens 82
DF - Kansas City Chiefs 33

SNEEN MACHINE
QB - Russell Wilson 78
QB - Marcus Mariota 72
QB - Matthew Stafford 50*
QB - Eli Manning 29
RB - Lamar Miller 179
RB - Christine Michael 90
RB - Theo Riddick 89
RB - Carlos Hyde 44*
RB - Giovani Bernard 37
RB - Jerick McKinnon 5
WR - Odell Beckham Jr. 280
WR - Dez Bryant 159
WR - Willie Snead 104
WR - Steve Smith Sr. 56
WR - Eric Decker 39
WR - Pierre Garcon 13
WR - John Brown 10
TE - Jordan Reed 151
TE - Coby Fleener 38
TE - Zach Ertz 27
K - Stephen Gostkowski 126
K - Dan Bailey 5*
DF - New York Giants 29*
DF - Atlanta Falcons 26
DF - Houston Texans 21*
DF - New England Patriots 18*
DF - Green Bay Packers 16*
DF - Tampa Bay Buccaneers 12
DF - Dallas Cowboys 9
DF - Indianapolis Colts 2

Team Swanson
QB - Ben Roethlisberger 119*
QB - Jameis Winston 119*
QB - Andrew Luck 45*
RB - Latavius Murray 117
RB - Jordan Howard 107*
RB - Matt Forte' 102
RB - LeGarrette Blount 89
RB - Carlos Hyde 63*
RB - Spencer Ware 25*
WR - Allen Robinson 176
WR - A.J. Green 167
WR - Alshon Jeffery 89
WR - Tyrell Williams 81
WR - DeSean Jackson 36*
WR - Kelvin Benjamin 12*
WR - Ted Ginn Jr. 4
WR - Quincy Enunwa 3
TE - Martellus Bennett 59
TE - Jason Witten 50*
TE - Eric Ebron 17*
TE - Zach Miller 7*
K - Matt Bryant 48*
K - Graham Gano 45
K - Cairo Santos 32
DF - Carolina Panthers 98
DF - Cincinnati Bengals 6*
DF - Tennessee Titans 6

TyRod Henke
QB - Tom Brady 212
QB - Drew Brees 112
RB - Todd Gurley 168
RB - Spencer Ware 70*
RB - Thomas Rawls 39
RB - Devontae Booker 30
RB - Jacquizz Rodgers 29
RB - Ameer Abdullah 25
RB - Jamaal Charles 12
RB - Ty Montgomery 11*
RB - DeAndre Washington 9
RB - Chris Ivory 2
WR - Jordy Nelson 162
WR - Jarvis Landry 132
WR - Julian Edelman 83*
WR - Jamison Crowder 38
WR - Terrelle Pryor 33
WR - Stefon Diggs 30
WR - Michael Thomas 15*
WR - Donte Moncrief 13*
WR - Cameron Meredith 2
WR - Sammy Watkins 2*
TE - Delanie Walker 174
TE - Hunter Henry 10*
TE - Eric Ebron 9*
K - Brandon McManus 91
K - Dan Bailey 41*
DF - Minnesota Vikings 83*
DF - Pittsburgh Steelers 33
DF - Philadelphia Eagles 21
DF - San Diego Chargers 11
DF - Detroit Lions 7

2016 Champion Fuck The Playoff System
QB - Dak Prescott 126
QB - Matthew Stafford 65*
QB - Blake Bortles 44
QB - Philip Rivers 14*
RB - Melvin Gordon 203
RB - C.J. Anderson 96
RB - Doug Martin 63
RB - Isaiah Crowell 47
RB - Bilal Powell 35
RB - Tevin Coleman 21
RB - Matt Asiata 9
RB - Jeremy Langford 7
WR - Antonio Brown 299
WR - Brandin Cooks 233
WR - Davante Adams 55
WR - Julian Edelman 18*
WR - Randall Cobb 7*
TE - Travis Kelce 221
TE - Jason Witten 7*
K - Matt Prater 71
K - Dan Bailey 38*
K - Matt Bryant 35*
K - Josh Lambo 7
DF - Houston Texans 37*
DF - New England Patriots 30*
DF - Green Bay Packers 18*
DF - Miami Dolphins 13*
DF - Chicago Bears 10*
DF - Cincinnati Bengals 10*
DF - New York Giants 4*

Moon's Microdongs
QB - Andrew Luck 99*
QB - Philip Rivers 86*
QB - Kirk Cousins 65
QB - Jameis Winston 18*
QB - Alex Smith 8
RB - David Johnson 387
RB - Jay Ajayi 103
RB - Frank Gore 101
RB - Jordan Howard 37*
RB - Jeremy Hill 34
RB - Charles Sims 33
RB - Danny Woodhead 25
RB - Charcandrick West 9
RB - Rashad Jennings 7
WR - T.Y. Hilton 231
WR - Brandon Marshall 114
WR - Emmanuel Sanders 71*
WR - DeSean Jackson 34*
WR - Kelvin Benjamin 33*
WR - Keenan Allen 12
WR - Sammy Watkins 12*
TE - Rob Gronkowski 94
TE - Antonio Gates 54
TE - Eric Ebron 16*
TE - Cameron Brate 8
TE - Zach Miller 7*
K - Adam Vinatieri 120
K - Matt Bryant 19*
DF - Cincinnati Bengals 26*
DF - Miami Dolphins 20*
DF - New York Giants 20*
DF - New England Patriots 16*
DF - New York Jets 12
DF - Buffalo Bills 10
DF - Chicago Bears 7*

Heroes of the Week

1 - WR A.J. Green, RB DeAngelo Williams, WR Brandin Cooks 

2 - RB Matt Forte', QB Cam Newton, WR DeAndre Hopkins

3 - DF Kansas City Chiefs, WR T.Y. Hilton, RB Devonta Freeman

4 - WR Julio Jones, QB Ben Roethlisberger, WR A.J. Green

5 - WR T.Y. Hilton, RB David Johnson, RB Ezekiel Elliott

6 - WR Odell Beckham Jr., RB David Johnson, RB LeSean McCoy

7 - RB Melvin Gordon III, WR A.J. Green, WR Mike Evans

8 - WR Amari Cooper, QB Aaron Rodgers, QB Tom Brady

9 - Scott Aschebrook, WR Mike Evans, RB Melvin Gordon III

10 - WR Antonio Brown, RB Le'Veon Bell, WR Jordy Nelson

11 - RB Le'Veon Bell, RB David Johnson, QB Aaron Rodgers

12 - WR Antonio Brown, TE Jordan Reed, WR Mike Evans

13 - RB David Johnson, QB Andrew Luck, RB Jordan Howard

14 - RB Le'Veon Bell, WR Emmanuel Sanders, QB Tom Brady

15 - WR Brandin Cooks, RB Devonta Freeman, RB LeSean McCoy

16 - WR Jordy Nelson, WR Doug Baldwin, QB Aaron Rodgers

A.J. Green may be the most quiet 3X Hero of the Week honoree ever.

Zeros of the Week

1 - DF Kansas City Chiefs, Nick Zurawski, TE Gary Barnidge

2 - The Ryan Brothers, Seattle's Offensive Line, Running Back injury gods

3 - WR Kelvin Benjamin, TE Rob Gronkowski, Evan Moon

4 - DF Carolina Panthers, DF Kansas City Chiefs, K Stephen Gostkowski

5 - DF Houston Texans, DF Cincinnati Bengals, Evan Moon

6 - NFL Schedule Makers, My long-running, TD-only team (Todd's Tornados), NFL Officials

7 - DF Chicago Bears, Overtime kickers, Evan Moon

8 - DF Minnesota Vikings, NFL Offensive Lines, Evan Moon

9 - DF Denver Broncos, NFL Referees, Evan Moon

10 - DF Green Bay Packers, Nick Zurawski, Evan Moon

11 - DF Baltimore Ravens, DF Philadelphia Eagles, Evan Moon

12 - TE Antonio Gates, WR Brandin Cooks, K Adam Vinatieri

13 - DF Carolina Panthers, DF Miami Dolphins, Evan Moon

14 - K Dan Bailey, WR Dez Bryant, Injury Gods

15 - NFL Referee Walt Coleman, Jaguars former Head Coach Gus Bradley, Skip Bayless

16 - DF Denver Broncos, RB Jeremy Hill, Alec Swanson

"Who in the hell is Evan Moon?!"

End-of-season Awards

First Team All-Bro

QB - Aaron Rodgers (Darrin Aschebrook)

RB - David Johnson (Nick Zurawski)

RB - Le'Veon Bell (Scott Aschebrook)

WR - Antonio Brown (Cole Walters)

WR - Odell Beckham Jr. (Tyler Sneen)

TE - Travis Kelce (Cole Walters)

FLEX - Mike Evans (Scott Aschebrook)

K - Justin Tucker (Evan Moon/Scott Aschebrook)

D/ST - Denver Broncos (Darrin Aschebrook)

Second Team All-Bro

QB - Tom Brady (Andy Todd)

RB - LeSean McCoy (Darrin Aschebrook)

RB - Devonta Freeman (Darrin Aschebrook)

WR - Brandin Cooks (Cole Walters)

WR - Julio Jones (Scott Aschebrook)

TE - Greg Olsen (Darrin Aschebrook)

FLEX - DeMarco Murray (Scott Aschebrook)

K - Stephen Gostkowski (Tyler Sneen)

D/ST - Carolina Panthers (Alec Swanson)

Voted on by the people

WRBL Rookie of the Year - QB Dak Prescott (Cole Walters)

Prescott's Week 16 Monday night performance helped erase Darrin's 96-point lead over Cole.

WRBL Draft Bust of the Year - #5 overall pick WR DeAndre Hopkins (Darrin Aschebrook)

"I mean... where is the help?" - DeAndre Hopkins, probably.

The Waiver Wonder of the Year - RB Bilal Powell (Cole Walters)

Only 35 points were needed for Powell to win this award all thanks to the timing of his 35 points.

WRBL Comeback Player of the Year - WR Jordy Nelson (Andy Todd)

After a torn ACL resulted in zero 2015 points, Nelson put on a show with double-digit touchdowns.

Zero of the Year - The Aschebrook Family's Driveway

An artist's rendition of the post-Championship celebration at Darrin's house.

NOTE: The MVP Award will always go to a player on the winning team.

MVP (Chosen by the league champion) - WR Antonio Brown (Cole Walters)

Brown helped both of his teams (real and fantasy) in immense, dramatic fashion on this week 16 play.

"Dreams can come true-OHH!"- Cole Walters