Six years and 402 nominations later, it is 2017. I am no longer in school and I am not all that bored either. The Bracket of Awful ceased to exist after it's inaugural run, when I did not want to be the spreader of negativity anymore despite the obvious comedic value provided by ludicrous matchups like Hitler versus Nickelback. It was a tough decision that was made easier both by college and the willingness of a friend to take responsibility of any future Brackets of Awful.
The "home base" for both of these brackets has been, since 2012, Facebook and once the website decided to take away polling options for user-run fan pages, The annual set-up for voting became a bit more challenging and just a smidgen too time-consuming for my taste. In 2012, Facebook was a place where people shared too much info about themselves and I could crack jokes every once in a while and the whole place was just harmless fun when the wild variable that is the Bracket of Awesome was introduced into everybody's timeline because of the semi-annoying yet totally advantageous (for the bracket and I anyways) voting process and the spam it spawned.
In 2017, the Bracket of Awesome is too pure for this world. Facebook still has that aura of self-importance and over-sharing (we're all guilty of it at some point) but, the respectful debates no longer exist when every other post is an unwanted and unnecessary political opinion from either side, where nobody plays the middle or uses critical thinking anymore especially when it comes to that fun topic that people over 50 just became aware of in the problematic spreading of fake news, whether it be a bullshit story about Dr. Pepper no longer being manufactured or a more serious bullshit accusation like -insert political headline that terrifies you here-. Facebook is too serious and overly-dramatic (says the man writing a long rant leading to an announcement that very few actually care about) to host something as potentially divisive as the Bracket of Awesome. Nobody needs a bunch of white men telling the world how overrated Beyonce' is and your whiny post is not getting anybody impeached today so, get off my lawn.
Are there really 64 awesome things worthy of nomination that I have yet to cover in these brackets? Probably but, I'm too tired to figure that out anymore. That is why it is with great sadness that I announce the end of The Bracket of Awesome. There will be no bracket in 2017 but, much like any show or movie from your childhood, this in no way rules out a potential rebooting of the bracket some years down the road. All I'm saying is that six years, 402 nominations, six winners (Betty White, Cole Walters, Vacations, Swamprat Outdoors, Freedom, Allen Iverson) and a whole bunch of votes cast seems like the perfect time for something as purely beautiful and unifying as The Bracket of Awesome to ride a unicorn into the sunset alongside Chuck Norris and Prince.
Thank you for your votes and thank you for making something completely ridiculous blow up for the years that it has.
- A. Todd
Now onto something that is still taking place and is much closer in time than March Madness, it's time to preview this year's NBA All-Star Weekend and the upcoming basketball trade deadline!
"Celebrity" All-Star Game
I thought this would have been cancelled a few years ago when Jesse Williams suffered a major knee injury in-game but, the game has been revitalized in recent years by the presence of NBA owners and dominant bigs like Arne Duncan and Arcade Fire's Win Butler. Much like the entirety of NBA All-Star Weekend, this event does not require a whole lot of analysis but, it's basketball so it's fun even if poorly played.
WEST ROSTER
Miles Brown (actor)
Tom Cavanagh (actor)
Mark Cuban (Dallas Mavericks owner)
Baron Davis (NBA legend)
Andy Grammer (recording artist)
Jiang Jinfu (actor, model)
Anthony Mackie (actor)
Romeo Miller (actor, recording artist)
Hasan Minhaj (actor, comedian)
Master P (actor, recording artist)
Candace Parker (Los Angeles Sparks, WNBA)
Aarón Sánchez (celebrity chef)
Coaches:
Michael Smith (ESPN host)
Draymond Green (Golden State Warriors)
Rocsi Diaz (television personality)
EAST ROSTER
Brandon Armstrong (former NBA D-League player and social media star)
Win Butler (musician)
Nick Cannon (actor, recording artist)
Rachel DeMita (NBA2K TV personality)
Ansel Elgort (actor, recording artist)
Marc Lasry (Milwaukee Bucks owner)
Caleb McLaughlin (actor)
Peter Rosenberg (media personality)
Oscar Schmidt (Basketball legend)
Lindsay Whalen (WNBA player)
Jason Williams (NBA legend)
Kris Wu (recording artist)
Coaches:
Jemele Hill (ESPN host)
Kyle Lowry (Toronto Raptors)
Fat Joe (recording artist)
Predicted Winner: Give me the East's roster with a never-out-of-his-prime Jason Williams every time.
Rising Stars Challenge
The second and final event of Friday night is quietly the most must-watch event of the weekend for true basketball-heads. The poorest of NBA teams aren't typically scheduled for primetime national television and therefore, a majority of NBA fans don't get to see the raw young prospects until they turn into the superstars that players like Giannis Antetokounmpo, Damian Lillard and Anthony Davis became after two turns in this game. It's still absent of defense like the All Star Game itself but, there aren't many chances for these super young players to show off their raw athleticism in-game without embarrassing their franchises.
TEAM WORLD
Alex Abrines
Dante Exum
Willy Hernangomez
Buddy Hield
Nikola Jokic
Trey Lyles
Jamal Murray
Kristaps Porzingis
Domantas Sabonis
Dario Saric
TEAM USA
Devin Booker
Malcolm Brogdon
Marquese Chriss
Brandon Ingram
Frank Kaminsky
Jahlil Okafor
D'Angelo Russell
Jonathon Simmons
Karl-Anthony Towns
Myles Turner
Predicted Winner: The USA team has a mighty large advantage at the guard positions while Team World is just mighty large. The game might be close but, having KAT and underrated Myles Turner (his full name) goes a long way. USA by 15-20 points.
Talent Contest
Words cannot express how thrilling last year's talent competition was. The greatest event to ever grace TNT's airwaves saw Miles Plumlee juggling on a unicycle and Harrison Barnes on the saxophone lose a highly contested battle to baller/painter Jeremy Evans. This year will showcase the talents of 7 established veterans and Devin Booker playing ping pong. I have received no words on the Vegas odds for this event.
PARTICIPANTS
Devin Booker
Chris Bosh
Luc Mbah a Moute
C.J. Miles
Victor Oladipo
Iman Shumpert
Lou Williams
Metta World Peace
Predicted Winner: I have heard Metta World Peace rap back when he was still Ron Artest but, I have not listened to the forward rap since he was on the NBA 2K12 soundtrack so, it is possible that he's slipped over time and will be outdone by fellow rapper/Laker Lou Williams. I've also heard Victor Oladipo sing and been impressed so, without knowing half of the field's talents, I'm taking Oladipo.
Mountain Dew 3-on-3 Game
Kyrie Irving and Russell Westbrook are in charge of two teams of three amateur players drafted by Shaquille O'Neal and Dennis Scott. After the success of last year's Dunk King competition, the NBA decided to team up with Mountain Dew and showcase the talents of some random street players whose names we will immediately forget at the end of the program.
Predicted Winner: Shaq drafted all of the taller dudes so, give me Team Kyrie.
Skills Challenge
The format of bigs versus guards reinvigorated the competition last season when Karl-Anthony Towns sneaked in a win for the tall guys over Isaiah Thomas. KAT stepped down this year and let everyone else take a shot at out-running, out-shooting and out-passing each other.
SMALLS
Devin Booker
Gordon Hayward
Isaiah Thomas
John Wall
BIGS
DeMarcus Cousins
Anthony Davis
Nikola Jokic
Kristaps Porzingis
Predicted Winner: With KAT sitting this one out, I'll take last season's runner-up Isaiah Thomas. He is on a lengthy hot streak in all fairness.
Three-Point Contest
The most enjoyable weekend of the NBA regular season was made slightly less enjoyable when Stephen Curry decided to pass on settling the 1-1 tie with teammate Klay Thompson in three-point shootout wins. Instead, we get a fun cast of deep threats that includes two past winners (Thompson and Kyrie Irving) and the fascinating divergent personalities of a rising star with a future in TV (C.J. McCollum) and whatever "Swaggy P" is now.
SHOOTERS
Eric Gordon
Kyrie Irving
Kyle Lowry
Wesley Matthews
C.J. McCollum
Klay Thompson
Kemba Walker
Nick Young
Predicted Winner: The nation deserves a Nick Young win... meaning that he will score a 0 because his foot is on the line every time and he never thinks to look down. Give me Klay with the back-to-back victories.
Slam Dunk Contest
With Zach LaVine nursing a torn ACL, Aaron Gordon should have had an easy path to victory and did until he needed a medical boot for his foot last week. The mad man still seems dead set on giving everyone a show Saturday night and with Embiid out of the Skills contest due to injury and LaVine now down for a year or more, I think the NBA really lucked out as people will still tune in to see how the hoverboarding-mascot dunker could possibly outperform the standard both he and LaVine have set.
DUNKERS
Aaron Gordon
Derrick Jones Jr.
DeAndre Jordan
Glenn Robinson III
Predicted Winner: Derrick Jones Jr. has gotten way too much criticism for being invited and should have a few "F you" dunks prepared up his sleeve plus he's healthy.
The Actual NBA All Star Game Itself
As always, there will be minimal defense played and that makes the winner completely unpredictable. This has not stopped me before and certainly will not stop me now, when there is very little taking place across the sports landscape.
WEST ROSTER
DeMarcus Cousins
Stephen Curry
Anthony Davis
Kevin Durant
Marc Gasol
Draymond Green
James Harden
Gordon Hayward
DeAndre Jordan
Kawhi Leonard
Klay Thompson
Russell Westbrook
EAST ROSTER
Giannis Antetokounmpo
Carmelo Anthony
Jimmy Butler
DeMar DeRozan
Paul George
Kyrie Irving
LeBron James
Kyle Lowry
Paul Millsap
Isaiah Thomas
Kemba Walker
John Wall
Predicted Winner: The main event of the weekend is still the lone event of Sunday and there does not seem to be any push in trying to change this despite the day being one of the dullest Sundays of the year. With Carmelo Anthony replacing Kevin Love on the East's squad, every sports personality gets an excuse to bring up the excruciatingly overblown mess that is the New York Knick organization. It's gotten so bad at Madison Square Garden that I expect Anthony's selfish style of play to be the Achilles' heel of the East in this game, as dumb as that obviously sounds. Westbrook won't play with all four Warriors despite that being everybody's wet dream for a lone takeaway from this game.
That is every televised (on TNT or ESPN) event happening in the basketball world this weekend. Was it worth all of this time and discussion? I suppose we'll know for sure after Sunday night. ENJOY!
Alex Abrines
Dante Exum
Willy Hernangomez
Buddy Hield
Nikola Jokic
Trey Lyles
Jamal Murray
Kristaps Porzingis
Domantas Sabonis
Dario Saric
TEAM USA
Devin Booker
Malcolm Brogdon
Marquese Chriss
Brandon Ingram
Frank Kaminsky
Jahlil Okafor
D'Angelo Russell
Jonathon Simmons
Karl-Anthony Towns
Myles Turner
Predicted Winner: The USA team has a mighty large advantage at the guard positions while Team World is just mighty large. The game might be close but, having KAT and underrated Myles Turner (his full name) goes a long way. USA by 15-20 points.
Talent Contest
Words cannot express how thrilling last year's talent competition was. The greatest event to ever grace TNT's airwaves saw Miles Plumlee juggling on a unicycle and Harrison Barnes on the saxophone lose a highly contested battle to baller/painter Jeremy Evans. This year will showcase the talents of 7 established veterans and Devin Booker playing ping pong. I have received no words on the Vegas odds for this event.
PARTICIPANTS
Devin Booker
Chris Bosh
Luc Mbah a Moute
C.J. Miles
Victor Oladipo
Iman Shumpert
Lou Williams
Metta World Peace
Predicted Winner: I have heard Metta World Peace rap back when he was still Ron Artest but, I have not listened to the forward rap since he was on the NBA 2K12 soundtrack so, it is possible that he's slipped over time and will be outdone by fellow rapper/Laker Lou Williams. I've also heard Victor Oladipo sing and been impressed so, without knowing half of the field's talents, I'm taking Oladipo.
Mountain Dew 3-on-3 Game
Kyrie Irving and Russell Westbrook are in charge of two teams of three amateur players drafted by Shaquille O'Neal and Dennis Scott. After the success of last year's Dunk King competition, the NBA decided to team up with Mountain Dew and showcase the talents of some random street players whose names we will immediately forget at the end of the program.
Predicted Winner: Shaq drafted all of the taller dudes so, give me Team Kyrie.
Skills Challenge
The format of bigs versus guards reinvigorated the competition last season when Karl-Anthony Towns sneaked in a win for the tall guys over Isaiah Thomas. KAT stepped down this year and let everyone else take a shot at out-running, out-shooting and out-passing each other.
SMALLS
Devin Booker
Gordon Hayward
Isaiah Thomas
John Wall
BIGS
DeMarcus Cousins
Anthony Davis
Nikola Jokic
Kristaps Porzingis
Predicted Winner: With KAT sitting this one out, I'll take last season's runner-up Isaiah Thomas. He is on a lengthy hot streak in all fairness.
Three-Point Contest
The most enjoyable weekend of the NBA regular season was made slightly less enjoyable when Stephen Curry decided to pass on settling the 1-1 tie with teammate Klay Thompson in three-point shootout wins. Instead, we get a fun cast of deep threats that includes two past winners (Thompson and Kyrie Irving) and the fascinating divergent personalities of a rising star with a future in TV (C.J. McCollum) and whatever "Swaggy P" is now.
SHOOTERS
Eric Gordon
Kyrie Irving
Kyle Lowry
Wesley Matthews
C.J. McCollum
Klay Thompson
Kemba Walker
Nick Young
Predicted Winner: The nation deserves a Nick Young win... meaning that he will score a 0 because his foot is on the line every time and he never thinks to look down. Give me Klay with the back-to-back victories.
Slam Dunk Contest
With Zach LaVine nursing a torn ACL, Aaron Gordon should have had an easy path to victory and did until he needed a medical boot for his foot last week. The mad man still seems dead set on giving everyone a show Saturday night and with Embiid out of the Skills contest due to injury and LaVine now down for a year or more, I think the NBA really lucked out as people will still tune in to see how the hoverboarding-mascot dunker could possibly outperform the standard both he and LaVine have set.
DUNKERS
Aaron Gordon
Derrick Jones Jr.
DeAndre Jordan
Glenn Robinson III
Predicted Winner: Derrick Jones Jr. has gotten way too much criticism for being invited and should have a few "F you" dunks prepared up his sleeve plus he's healthy.
The Actual NBA All Star Game Itself
As always, there will be minimal defense played and that makes the winner completely unpredictable. This has not stopped me before and certainly will not stop me now, when there is very little taking place across the sports landscape.
WEST ROSTER
DeMarcus Cousins
Stephen Curry
Anthony Davis
Kevin Durant
Marc Gasol
Draymond Green
James Harden
Gordon Hayward
DeAndre Jordan
Kawhi Leonard
Klay Thompson
Russell Westbrook
EAST ROSTER
Giannis Antetokounmpo
Carmelo Anthony
Jimmy Butler
DeMar DeRozan
Paul George
Kyrie Irving
LeBron James
Kyle Lowry
Paul Millsap
Isaiah Thomas
Kemba Walker
John Wall
Predicted Winner: The main event of the weekend is still the lone event of Sunday and there does not seem to be any push in trying to change this despite the day being one of the dullest Sundays of the year. With Carmelo Anthony replacing Kevin Love on the East's squad, every sports personality gets an excuse to bring up the excruciatingly overblown mess that is the New York Knick organization. It's gotten so bad at Madison Square Garden that I expect Anthony's selfish style of play to be the Achilles' heel of the East in this game, as dumb as that obviously sounds. Westbrook won't play with all four Warriors despite that being everybody's wet dream for a lone takeaway from this game.
That is every televised (on TNT or ESPN) event happening in the basketball world this weekend. Was it worth all of this time and discussion? I suppose we'll know for sure after Sunday night. ENJOY!
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