WRBL Week 16 (Championship Week)

The Wisconsin Rapids Bro League

Week 16

Our 2nd semi-official season of blaming Cole Walters for balks.

Playoff Results

#2 Spider 2 Y Banana  126  #4 Sneen Machine  124

#1 The Donald  174 #6 Where's Cole? Not Here  97
#3 Cole Top, Moon Bottom  109 #5 Thee Wisconsin Chwhounds  82
#9 Bilbo Unable To Braggins  128 #10 Team Tiffany  51
#7 Your GF Likes Mike Ditka  142 #8 John, Can I Use The Suburban?  129

Rob Schumacher/azcentral Sports
Hero of the Week: DF Arizona Cardinals (Bilbo Unable To Braggins)

Heroes of the Week: DF Arizona Cardinals (Aschebrook), RB DeAngelo Williams (Silka), TE Jordan Reed (Walters)

Zeros of the Week: K Mason Crosby (Aschebrook Sr.), DF Philadelphia Eagles (Zurawski), Owner Josh Tiffany (Tiffany)

Yong Kim
Zero of the Week: DF Philadelphia Eagles (Cole Top, Moon Bottom)

Upcoming Week 17 NFL Schedule

NY Jets @ Buffalo NOON

New England @ Miami NOON

New Orleans @ Atlanta NOON

Baltimore @ Cincinnati NOON

Pittsburgh @ Cleveland NOON

Jacksonville @ Houston NOON

Tennessee @ Indianapolis NOON

Washington @ Dallas NOON

Philadelphia @ NY Giants NOON

Detroit @ Chicago NOON

Tampa Bay @ Carolina 3:25 PM

Oakland @ Kansas City 3:25 PM

San Diego @ Denver 3:25 PM

Seattle @ Arizona 3:25 PM

St. Louis @ San Francisco 3:25 PM

Minnesota @ Green Bay 7:30 PM

NOTE: WRBL Year In Review coming sometime after Super Bowl

Bro...

First, I think I speak for everyone when I say thank you to Scott and the Aschebrook formerly known as Darrin for hosting the greatest Week 16 Championship Bro Ha Ha ever hosted (Sorry, last year's Bro Ha Ha but, this is a "What have you done for me lately?" type of accolade).Second, I'd like to thank the academy for believing in me and recognizing my performance in Best New Drama "Toddshank Brodemption". This Sunday was wild and featured a back-and-forth battle for The Shelby Trophy and an epic comeback in the Sacko Bowl where Silka roared from behind thanks to DJ Jazzy Johnson (David Johnson) and avoided acquiring the trophy to be named later (my vote is calling it the "Kathy Walters Memorial Award") that will instead be won by Cole Walters, even though he outscored his opponents this season and just by sheer bad karma will finish in last after a 7-6 regular season. Eight of the league's ten owners showed up on Sunday (RIP Tiffany, may the Woodheads forever run in your honor) and with five televisions of live NFL updates, action, a Madden tournament and an unsuccessful NBA 2K16 tournament, there was no shortage of entertainment. Ultimately, I don't think any money exchanged hands outside of the pizza epidemic of 2015 as that's how these types of arrangements typically go for better (thank god I didn't lose $10 because of my shitty 2K skills) or worse (Why didn't I enter the money pool at the start of the year? Oh yeah, the draft was delayed after I put a bunch of money in other keeper leagues. I blame Cole Walters.). 

In other Bro League match-ups, the Tim Hightower dump-off heard 'round the world in week 15 had a larger effect than any of us could have ever imagined as Moon's The Donald erupted like Mount Vesuvius with a 174-point performance that is second only to Sneen Machine's 181-point week 9 win over Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds. If The Donald had been in the championship, Moon would have won easily but, thanks to Tim Hightower (who also scored 31 points in the Championship after being out of the NFL for FOUR SEASONS), it was "See ya Moon!" as Sneen and his Machine tiptoed into the Finals. Sadly for Alec, he was the sacrificial lamb to face The Donald this week and lost by 77 points (At least the Bears won, right Alec?). Nick defeated Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds despite constant trash-talk from Aschebrook Sr. about Frank Gore not only gashing Nick's fantasy team but also, his reality team, the Miami Dolphins (Hooray better draft picks!). Scott walloped Team Tiffany thanks to a nine-sack, two-touchdown performance by the Arizona defense as well and the final standings are as follows...

1st - Spider 2 Y Banana (Andy Todd)

2nd - Sneen Machine (Tyler Sneen)

3rd - The Donald (Evan Moon)

4th - Where's Cole? Not Here (Alec Swanson)

5th - Cole Top, Moon Bottom (Nick Zurawski)

6th - Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds (Darrin Aschebrook)

7th - Bilbo Unable To Braggins (Scott Aschebrook)

8th - Team Tiffany (Josh Tiffany)

9th - Your GF Likes Mike Ditka (Alex Silka)

10th - John, Can I Use The Suburban? (Cole Walters)

Don't ask me how ESPN figured out the loser's bracket. 

In the NFL, the Jets are just barely in, the Steelers are just barely out, a bunch of nonsense resulted in this and also, the 1972 Miami Dolphins popped some champagne as the Panthers lost in another nonsense game to the Atlanta Falcons thanks to JULIOOOOO's miraculous catch on Melted Matty Ryan's "Fuck it, I'm going deep" desperation throw. It was a fun Sunday of football and Todd Gurley's last sixteen garbage yards ended up winning the Bro League in another nonsense upset of St.Louis over Seattle as the Rams continue to dedicate themselves to the 8-8 season. The Vikings and Cardinals looked awesome, the Broncos beat the Bengals in a fun Monday Night Football playoff preview and the Eagles fired Chip Kelly.

It hurts to live.

As I mentioned above, there will be a season in review coming up with Awards, a bunch of reviews of trades with analysis on who won and who lost those deals (sorry Scott) and a full-on season recap that will likely just morph into a further in-depth breakdown of the Shelby Bowl and giving my player's shoutouts for winning me the Shelby. Here is the first set of awards for scoring leaders that can be settled right now...

First Team All-Bro

QB - Tom Brady (Andy Todd)

RB - Devonta Freeman (Darrin Aschebrook)

RB - Adrian Peterson (Evan Moon)

WR - Julio Jones (Andy Todd)

WR - Antonio Brown (Tyler Sneen)

TE - Rob Gronkowski (Nick Zurawski)

FLEX - DeAndre Hopkins (Nick Zurawski)

K - Stephen Gostkowski (Scott Aschebrook)

D/ST - Denver Broncos (Alex Silka)

Second Team All-Bro

QB - Russell Wilson (Alex Silka)

RB - Danny Woodhead (Josh Tiffany)

RB - Lamar Miller (Alec Swanson/Scott Aschebrook)

WR - Odell Beckham Jr. (Cole Walters)

WR - A.J. Green (Scott Aschebrook/Alec Swanson)

TE - Delanie Walker (Andy Todd)

FLEX - Jarvis Landry (Nick Zurawski)

K - Steven Hauschka (Josh Tiffany)

D/ST - Carolina Panthers (Nick Zurawski/Alec Swanson)

2015 Scoring Leaders

QB

Tom Brady 331 (TODD)
Russell Wilson 302 (SILKA)
Aaron Rodgers 274 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Drew Brees 261 (SNEEN)
Cam Newton 259 (TIFFANY)
Philip Rivers 220 (MOON)
Carson Palmer 214 (ASCHEBROOK)
Blake Bortles 153 (TODD/ASCHEBROOK SR./SWANSON)
Matt Ryan 138 (SWANSON)
Eli Manning 127 (WALTERS)
Andrew Luck 112 (ZURAWSKI)
Ben Roethlisberger 92 (WALTERS)
Ryan Tannehill 69 (ASCHEBROOK/ZURAWSKI)
Tyrod Taylor 61 (ASCHEBROOK)
Peyton Manning 57 (TIFFANY)
Derek Carr 49 (ZURAWSKI/SWANSON)
Sam Bradford 40 (MOON)
Andy Dalton 23 (WALTERS)
Tony Romo 19 (WALTERS/SNEEN)
Ryan Fitzpatrick 15 (WALTERS)
Brian Hoyer 14 (ZURAWSKI)
Colin Kaepernick 13 (SNEEN)
Alex Smith 13 (ZURAWSKI)

RB

Devonta Freeman 268 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Adrian Peterson 234 (MOON)
Danny Woodhead 216 (TIFFANY)
Lamar Miller 213 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK)
Mark Ingram 193 (ZURAWSKI)
DeAngelo Williams 188 (SILKA)
Chris Ivory 181 (WALTERS)
Matt Forte 179 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Doug Martin 172 (SWANSON)
LeSean McCoy 169 (WALTERS)
Jonathan Stewart 155 (TIFFANY)
Todd Gurley 152 (TODD)
DeMarco Murray 149 (SNEEN)
Latavius Murray 149 (MOON)
Justin Forsett 114 (SNEEN)
Darren McFadden 109 (ASCHEBROOK)
David Johson 106 (SILKA)
Eddie Lacy 102 (SILKA)
Jamaal Charles 96 (ASCHEBROOK)
Frank Gore 95 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
T.J. Yeldon 95 (SNEEN)
Charcandrick West 83 (TODD)
Marshawn Lynch 79 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK)
Giovani Bernard 75 (ZURAWSKI)
Arian Foster 73 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)
Carlos Hyde 73 (TODD)
Jeremy Langford 73 (WALTERS)
Dion Lewis 58 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Theo Riddick 51 (WALTERS/SILKA)
Jeremy Hill 49 (MOON)
Tim Hightower 42 (SNEEN)
Duke Johnson Jr. 41 (TODD)
Javorius Allen 38 (WALTERS/SNEEN)
Thomas Rawls 37 (ASCHEBROOK)
Melvin Gordon 36 (WALTERS)
C.J. Anderson 34 (TIFFANY)
LeGarrette Blount 33 (ZURAWSKI)
Karlos Williams 31 (ASCHEBROOK/WALTERS)
Ameer Abdullah 26 (TODD)
Antonio Andrews 26 (SWANSON)
Denard Robinson 26 (ZURAWSKI)
Isaiah Crowell 23 (SILKA)
James Starks 20 (TODD)
Shane Vereen 20 (SNEEN)
Spencer Ware 20 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Tevin Coleman 18 (ZURAWSKI/TODD)
Andre Ellington 18 (SILKA)
Chris Johnson 18 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)
Ronnie Hillman 15 (SWANSON)
Alfred Morris 14 (SILKA)
Joseph Randle 13 (ASCHEBROOK)
James White 13 (TODD)
Branden Oliver 12 (TODD)
Ryan Mathews 11 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Shaun Draughn 10 (SWANSON)
Rashad Jennings 7 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Brandon Bolden 6 (ZURAWSKI)
Darren Sproles 6 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Alfred Blue 5 (ZURAWSKI)
Lance Dunbar 5 (SWANSON)
Bishop Sankey 4 (WALTERS)
Matt Jones 1 (TODD)

WR

Julio Jones 344 (TODD)

Antonio Brown 343 (SNEEN)

DeAndre Hopkins 307 (ZURAWSKI)

Odell Beckham Jr. 302 (WALTERS)
A.J. Green 252 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)
Jarvis Landry 252 (ZURAWSKI)

Brandon Marshall 241 (MOON)

Calvin Johnson 223 (SILKA)

Allen Robinson 221 (MOON)

Demaryius Thomas 217 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)

Larry Fitzgerald 205 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK/WALTERS)

Emmanuel Sanders 183 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Randall Cobb 174 (TODD)

Julian Edelman 168 (SILKA)

Mike Evans 162 (MOON)

Keenan Allen 157 (TIFFANY)
Alshon Jeffery 155 (SWANSON)

Eric Decker 149 (SNEEN)

T.Y. Hilton 148 (WALTERS)

Brandin Cooks 142 (TODD)

Sammy Watkins 107 (ASCHEBROOK SR./ASCHEBROOK)

Jordan Matthews 90 (SNEEN)
Donte Moncrief 90 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Martavis Bryant 89 (SNEEN)

Steve Smith Sr. 77 (SNEEN)
Golden Tate 77 (ASCHEBROOK/ZURAWSKI)
Amari Cooper 75 (SWANSON)

Marvin Jones 75 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Danny Amendola 71 (ASCHEBROOK SR./SILKA)
Rishard Matthews 70 (ASCHEBROOK/TIFFANY)

Dez Bryant 64 (ASCHEBROOK)

John Brown 60 (MOON)
Stevie Johnson 54 (ASCHEBROOK/ASCHEBROOK SR.)

Doug Baldwin 52 (ZURAWSKI)

Jeremy Maclin 50 (ASCHEBROOK)

Pierre Garcon 48 (ZURAWSKI)
Vincent Jackson 46 (ASCHEBROOK/TODD)
Kendall Wright 41 (TODD)

Kamar Aiken 38 (ZURAWSKI)

Tyler Lockett 37 (SILKA)

Stefon Diggs 34 (ASCHEBROOK)

Brandon LaFell 32 (ASCHEBROOK)
Malcom Floyd 26 (WALTERS)
Rueben Randle 26 (WALTERS)
Travis Benjamin 18 (ASCHEBROOK/SWANSON)
Mike Wallace 18 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Davante Adams 17 (MOON)

Michael Floyd 17 (WALTERS)
James Jones 14 (TODD)
Andre Johnson 11 (ZURAWSKI)
Tavon Austin 10 (TIFFANY)
Torrey Smith 9 (SILKA)
Brandon Coleman 6 (ASCHEBROOK)
Marques Colston 6 (TIFFANY)
Willie Snead 5 (SWANSON)
DeSean Jackson 4 (ZURAWSKI)
Charles Johnson 4 (MOON)
Roddy White 3 (SILKA)

Ted Ginn Jr. 1 (SWANSON)

TE

Rob Gronkowski 245 (ZURAWSKI)
Delanie Walker 216 (TODD)
Greg Olsen 183 (MOON)
Tyler Eifert 172 (SWANSON)
Jason Witten 140 (TIFFANY)
Gary Barnidge 138 (TIFFANY)
Travis Kelce 134 (WALTERS)
Antonio Gates 123 (ASCHEBROOK)
Jimmy Graham 117 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Martellus Bennett 105 (SNEEN)
Jordan Reed 87 (WALTERS)
Julius Thomas 68 (SNEEN)
Jordan Cameron 60 (SILKA)
Benjamin Watson 37 (ASCHEBROOK/ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Zach Ertz 30 (MOON)
Charles Clay 25 (TODD/SWANSON)

Zach Miller 25 (SWANSON)

Coby Fleener 24 (SILKA)
Scott Chandler 16 (ZURAWSKI)

Dwayne Allen 10 (ASCHEBROOK)

Jared Cook 9 (TODD)
Richard Rodgers 9 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Larry Donnell 8 (ZURAWSKI)
Eric Ebron 5 (ASCHEBROOK)
Kyle Rudolph 5 (ASCHEBROOK)
Austin Seferian-Jenkins 4 (ASCHEBROOK)
Vernon Davis 3 (ASCHEBROOK)

K

Stephen Gostkowski 168 (ASCHEBROOK)
Steven Hauschka 129 (TIFFANY)
Justin Tucker 126 (SNEEN)
Chandler Catanzaro 118 (TODD)
Blair Walsh 116 (MOON)
Mason Crosby 112 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Brandon McManus 98 (SWANSON)
Robbie Gould 92 (SILKA)
Matt Bryant 68 (WALTERS)
Josh Brown 51 (ZURAWSKI)
Nick Novak 44 (WALTERS)
Dan Bailey 37 (MOON)
Cairo Santos 27 (ZURAWSKI)
Matt Prater 19 (ZURAWSKI)
Graham Gano 16 (ZURAWSKI)
Cody Parkey 16 (SILKA)
Andrew Franks 14 (TODD)
Caleb Sturgis 11 (SNEEN)
Josh Lambo 9 (SWANSON)
Dustin Hopkins 7 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Dan Carpenter 5 (ASCHEBROOK)
Kai Forbath 3 (TODD)
Adam Vinatieri -1 (SWANSON)

DF

Denver Broncos 176 (SILKA)
Carolina Panthers 156 (ZURAWSKI/SWANSON)
Seattle Seahawks 119 (ASCHEBROOK SR.)
Arizona Cardinals 112 (SWANSON/ASCHEBROOK)
New York Jets 95 (MOON/ZURAWSKI)
St. Louis Rams 95 (SNEEN)
New England Patriots 95 (TIFFANY)

Houston Texans 71 (ASCHEBROOK/WALTERS)
Cincinnati Bengals 60 (WALTERS/TODD)
Minnesota Vikings 58 (MOON)
Philadelphia Eagles 52 (TODD/ASCHEBROOK SR./ZURAWSKI)

Buffalo Bills 47 (WALTERS/ASCHEBROOK)
Kansas City Chiefs 43 (MOON)
Pittsburgh Steelers 34 (WALTERS)
Atlanta Falcons 22 (SWANSON/TODD)

Miami Dolphins 11 (TODD/SNEEN)
Chicago Bears 8 (ZURAWSKI)
Indianapolis Colts 1 (ZURAWSKI)
Green Bay Packers -1 (TIFFANY)
Cleveland Browns -3 (ZURAWSKI)
Baltimore Ravens -4 (SWANSON/ZURAWSKI/SNEEN)

Final Hypothetical Standings (If the 5 highest scoring teams were winners each week & No Playoffs)

Spider 2 Y Banana 11-5

The Donald 10-6
Sneen Machine 10-6
Cole Top, Moon Bottom 9-7
Thee Wisconsin Chowhounds 9-7
Where's Cole? Not Here. 9-7
John, Can I Use The Suburban? 8-8
Your GF Likes Mike Ditka 7-9
Bilbo Unable To Braggins 4-12
Team Tiffany 3-13