Wisconsin Rapids Bro League
Week Four
Our Seventh Official Season of blaming Cole Walters for the clothes making the man.
Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks)
Steven Nett Division
Scott's Many Endeavors (Nick Zurawski) 4-0 W4
Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 4-0 W5
Yeezy Taught Me (Nathaniel Hoefs) 1-3 L3
Todd's Plan (Andy Todd) 1-3 L2
Tanner Glaza Division
SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 2-2 W2
Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 2-2 W1
Take Mahomes Country Roads (Ryan Dougherty) 1-3 L2
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 1-3 L1
Week Four Final Scores
ALEC defeats HOEFS 123.04-119.02
DARRIN defeats ANDY 97.82-90.46
NICK defeats COLE 166.44-118.32
SNEEN defeats RYAN 140.36-109.52
Heroes of the Week: WR Tyreek Hill (47.6), WR Deebo Samuel (35.7), WR D.J. Moore (31.9)
Waiver Wonders: QB Sam Darnold (31.54), QB Matt Ryan (29.02), QB Taylor Heinicke (27.9)
What-if of the Week: If Andy would have kept Austin Ekeler (29.5) instead of Antonio Gibson (15.5), he would have sacrificed a later pick (12th round instead of 8th) and gotten the much-needed win over 4-0 Darrin.
 |
| Exra Shaw/Getty Images Hero of the Week: WR Deebo Samuel (8 catches, 156 yards, 2 touchdowns, 1 rushing yard) |
Upcoming Week 5 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)
Darrin v. Sneen
Hoefs v. Nick
Andy v. Cole
Ryan v. Alec
Thursday Night Football: LA Rams @ Seattle 7:20 PM
SUNDAY MORNING LONDON GAME: NY Jets v. Atlanta 8:30 AM
Sunday NOON: Green Bay @ Cincinnati
Detroit @ Minnesota
Denver @ Pittsburgh
Miami @ Tampa Bay
New Orleans @ Washington
Philadelphia @ Carolina
Tennessee @ Jacksonville
New England @ Houston
3:05 PM: Chicago @ Las Vegas
Cleveland @ LA Chargers
3:25 PM: NY Giants @ Dallas
San Francisco @ Arizona
Sunday Night Football: Buffalo @ Kansas City 7:20 PM
Monday Night Football: Indianapolis @ Baltimore 7:15 PM
Bro...
By the time you read this, Urban Meyer might already be back on FOX's Saturday Morning College Football Pre-game show, whatever they actually call that show. The now 0-4 Jacksonville Jaguars' troubles on the field have already been overshadowed by Urban Meyer's hijinks off the field. Quite frankly, I think it's a perfect fit if you want your fans to show up (simply to boo) and you want Trevor Lawrence and company to get none of the blame along with being completely overshadowed by one of the weirdest head coaching hires since Bobby Petrino ditched the Falcons. Meyer's career includes two early departures (from Florida and Ohio State) due to "health concerns" and a large percentage of his Florida Gators' players getting arrested and having questionable off-field behavior including Aaron Hernandez and noted scoundrel and rapscallion Tim Tebow. Now, Meyer skipped his team's flight home after Thursday night's 21-24 chokejob loss to the Bengals and I guess partied it up at an Ohio bar while some non-wife of his nearly Kyle Lowry'd Meyer's way into a shooting foul. What's truly foul is the second clip that came out showing Meyer... embracing? the contact. Yeah, he might still be a good coach but this is not someone anybody should want around in their personal lives and he's certainly not building any type of culture in that locker room, one with no identity whatsoever.
 |
| Now, we just await Schefter's BREAKING news or maybe Woj will get in on the fun. |
Even if we don't see Jacksonville sacking their grandpa gone wild, this is still a ridiculously busy week for the NFL's transaction wire considering we're a month into the season. The Patriots looked into re-signing LB Jamie Collins for his third term with the team after the Lions gave up on him in favor of their youth movement two weeks back and saw that the only way to acquire the 31-year old veteran was to dump a valuable cap piece on another team. In a move that sent shockwaves through the league, Bill Belichick (who's usually one year early instead of one year late on these types of transactions) and company traded CB Stephone Gilmore to the Carolina Panthers for a 2023 sixth round draft pick. This move would have made sense for about 30 other teams to make (if they had the cap space) with Gilmore coming back from his ankle injury soon and by pulling the trigger, Carolina avoids having the Buccaneers add another superstar ex-Patriot while increasing the likelihood that Sam Darnold gets some postseason experience under his belt before they decide whether or not he's their ride-or-die going forward. In other shocking news, the Cowboys released LB Jaylon Smith just over 2 years into a 6-year/$58 million extension that he was well on his way to earning before Dan Quinn took over and reduced his playing time this season in favor of former Safety-turned-Linebacker Keanu Neal and rookie EDGE specialist Micah Parsons (who looks like a STUD so far). Smith's play has been inconsistent but, the highlights are HIGH and the lowlights just made the contract look more questionable than his presence on a football field. Now, the former Pro Bowler is headed to Green Bay, a team loving the addition of De'Vondre Campbell thus far while missing the leadership and pass rushing abilities of Za'Darius Smith (now on IR temporarily). Even though Campbell shouldn't take many snaps off as a tackling machine in the classic sense for inside linebackers, I still can't wait to see the Pack roll out an all Smith linebacking crew one of these weeks with Preston, Za'Darius and Jaylon. Lastly, the Texans cut WR Anthony Miller (who I still think the Chiefs ought to sign IMMEDIATELY) after a measly five catches in four games (including one touchdown) that greatly diminish whatever the new management was thinking when Houston sent the Bears a seventh-rounder for the guy that got leapfrogged by Darnell Mooney as the Bear most likely to become a fantasy starter if/when Allen Robinson is gone.
 |
| Quinn Harris-USA TODAY Sports One of Week 4's highlights was Justin Fields getting his first win as an NFL QB over the Lions, 24-14. |
Quickly in the other sports, the NBA preseason is here just one calendar year after the Finals from two seasons ago (Lakers-Heat) was being played. The Brooklyn Nets are the favorites to win despite Kyrie Irving's extreme vaccine hesitancy potentially costing him ALL Net home games, salary and all. The 76ers are still looking to trade Ben Simmons (call up Charlotte and ask about Rozier + Gordon Hayward & maybe Jalen McDaniels, just trust me on this one), the Lakers are running out the most truly bizarre roster of old dudes I've ever seen on a basketball court, the Pelicans are shitting the bed on protecting Zion at all costs, the Nuggets and Hawks look deeper than ever and oh yeah, the Milwaukee Bucks are still your defending champions and Giannis is apparently never done improving so, there's all that. The MLB Playoffs also begin this week with the Yankees and Cardinals (AKA: The Yankees of places nobody gives a shit about) no longer a part of it as they were both eliminated in winner-take-all wildcard games. Shout out to the defending champion Los Angeles Dodgers and the Boston Red Sox on advancing to play full series now against the San Francisco Giants and the Tampa Bay Rays respectively. The other two series include the Braves playing against their former-home city Milwaukee and the Brewers (big year for non-Badger Wisconsin sports, eh?) and the White Sox facing the Astros in a series that I think could end up being the most fun if either the Dodgers or Giants run away with an easy win in their rivalry's best of five. One thing remains certain... nothing in sports remains as unpredictable as the MLB Playoffs. March Madness has nothing on October for the sports calendar.
 |
| CBSSports Chris Taylor's walk-off over a team that very recently won 16 in a row gives the Dodgers the vibe of a team of destiny. |
Back to the football... in our fantasy league of brohood of traveling pants (trophies?), there hasn't been a week of closer matchups in 2021 than what we saw in week four (it's early but any fireworks/drama is appreciated by someone that has to write about this every week). There's still two undefeateds at the top of the Steven Nett Division, where Nick Zurawski rode ANOTHER week of Tyreek-ening with the Kansas City wideout dropping a league-high 47.6 points on poor Cole as his Colieveland 96ers might end up with a similar average losing deficit to that of the young Cleveland Cavaliers this season. Cole drops to 1-3 and faces my 1-3 Todd's Plan in a potential loser-leaves-town match. I only ended up at 1-3 thanks to every player just playing decently with no real "star" performances from the stars you'd expect to show up more often than not (hint, hint: the receivers all scoring under 16 is not a winning formula) this week. Darrin improved to 4-0 as the beneficiary of my sub-100 score, surviving despite scoring the second-lowest point total of week four. The Tanner Glaza Division-leading Sneen Machine better be careful as Team ChowHounds are bound for a bounce-back. Week four also saw the Sneen Machine grab a hold of first place thanks to RB Austin Ekeler returning to the field after looking a bit slowed down by a possible foot ailment two carries into his Monday Night performance and eventually accumulating a nearly heroic 29.5 points. Ekeler would not have even needed to return with Daniel Carlson giving Take Mahomes Country Roads getting another nothing showing out of their kicker, Daniel Carlson (1 point) and Mike Williams' quiet 2.1 would have been enough to continue to hold Ryan under water until the bubbles stopped. This week, Ryan might go to a different kicker as he faces the 2-2 Tax Paying Homeowner Alec. Much like the Bears, Alec is 2-2 and I don't quite know how? Like... I get that Justin Jefferson is an elite talent but, will he be able to hold up with a QB carousel starring Joe Burrow and Derek Carr? will he survive David Montgomery's potential month-long knee injury when Marlon Mack is back, actively taking some of Jonathan Taylor's workload? Who knows. Ultimately there is no contending nor pretending at 2-2, just existence. It is truly too soon to tell if Alec or Sneen will hold up in the weak Glaza Division.
I will probably stay home and watch the games instead of what I did this past weekend. There's not a whole lot of football analysis on my end for week four because I was busy caddying my dad's college buddies' golf outing. It had been at least two years since they had last united for a fantasy football/baseball meeting as everybody lives in different cities, Iowa, Minnesota, central and northern Wisconsin included. It had also been five or more years since they last golfed together and for some, that was the last time they golfed PERIOD so I was really there as an injury replacement for their Par-3 contest. Father Todd made me proud with his golfing capabilities as he and his partner tied for first within their four-group competition, barely looking rusty at all. I managed to see Baker Mayfield's worst game of the year and the Vikings had absolutely no answer to that beyond lay down and die and thanks to the beer-battered chicken that was 90% batter and 10% chicken that I ate, I did my best Viking impersonation abruptly with two minutes left in every game. The drive home for Black River Falls was not my most enjoyable experience but, the stomach did settle in time for Dairy Treat and goddamn, Dairy Treat is still CLUTCH with their soft serve, I tell you HWAT. Hopefully my dad's college league makes this an annual thing so I can try something else on the menu, now that I know what I'm getting into. Their 40-year running fantasy league doesn't meet nearly as often as the 42-year high school league Father Todd is in and that's part of the reason why so many owners have dropped out, opening up a spot for my Tune Squad a few years back.
 |
| Andy Todd The Skyline Golf Course in Black River Falls, Wisconsin. A beautiful course. We only did the front-9. |
The Seahawks and Rams give us the first hype-able Thursday night game since the Bucs and 'Boys kicked the season off. LA is looking for a recovery from their shockingly lopsided loss to the LONE REMAINING UNBEATEN 4-0 ARIZONA CARDINALS. The 0-4 Jaguars are at home for the 2-2 Titans, perhaps now featuring their two star wideouts (Julio Jones and A.J. Brown), whose absence undoubtedly cost them against the Jets. The other 0-4 team, the Lions head to Minnesota as Detroit continues to tank their time away. The late slate is kind of stacked with Justin Fields now starting full time against the Raiders, Trey Lance probably getting his first start at 4-0 Arizona, the resilient Browns' defense facing the flashy Charger offense and the typical NFC East rivalry game (that is the weak link here) between the Cowboys and Giants. Sunday Night is the real highlight with the Bills and Chiefs getting a second look at each other after last postseason's Kansas City comeback cost Buffalo a Super Bowl appearance. The week will conclude with Jonathan Taylor, Michael Pittman Jr. and the Colts heading to Baltimore to play Lamar Jackson, Justin Tucker and the Ravens. "Nevermore! Nevermore!" quoth the league, citing Andy's postseason appearances streak.
Scoring Leaders
QB
Patrick Mahomes 111.92 (Ryan)
Kyler Murray 107.82 (Hoefs)
Tom Brady 96.54 (Sneen)
Russell Wilson 89.56 (Andy)
Lamar Jackson 88.98 (Nick)
Aaron Rodgers 71.28 (Darrin)
Josh Allen 53.88 (Cole)
Derek Carr 35.68 (Alec)
Joe Burrow 28.92 (Alec)
Daniel Jones 16.54 (Cole)
RB
Derrick Henry 103.5 (Darrin)
Austin Ekeler 86.4 (Sneen)
Najee Harris 74.3 (Cole)
Aaron Jones 74.2 (Ryan)
Ezekiel Elliott 70.5 (Nick)
David Montgomery 59.8 (Alec)
Nick Chubb 58.8 (Ryan)
Christian McCaffrey 58.4 (Hoefs)
Alvin Kamara 57.9 (Darrin)
Joe Mixon 57.2 (Nick)
Saquon Barkley 54.7 (Cole)
Antonio Gibson 53.9 (Andy)
Jonathan Taylor 52.5 (Alec)
Dalvin Cook 43.6 (Sneen)
Chris Carson 35.4 (Nick)
Clyde Edwards-Helaire 32.2 (Hoefs)
James Robinson 29 (Ryan)
Damien Harris 25.1 (Andy)
Alexander Mattison 23.1 (Hoefs)
D'Andre Swift 20.7 (Cole)
Chase Edmonds 17.9 (Hoefs)
Miles Sanders 17.3 (Nick)
Josh Jacobs 17 (Darrin)
Cordarrelle Patterson 16.2 (Sneen)
Kenyan Drake 10.5 (Ryan)
Chuba Hubbard 9.1 (Andy)
Raheem Mostert 2 (Cole)
James White 0.6 (Andy)
WR
Cooper Kupp 102.6 (Hoefs)
Tyreek Hill 100.3 (Nick)
Davante Adams 74.3 (Cole)
Adam Thielen 70.7 (Darrin)
DK Metcalf 66.5 (Alec)
Amari Cooper 65.8 (Ryan)
Keenan Allen 63.4 (Andy)
Stefon Diggs 62.5 (Hoefs)
Justin Jefferson 59.74 (Alec)
Calvin Ridley 58.5 (Andy)
DeAndre Hopkins 57.5 (Darrin)
CeeDee Lamb 53.6 (Hoefs)
Brandin Cooks 53.2 (Darrin)
Terry McLaurin 48.1 (Nick)
D.J. Moore 47.3 (Sneen)
Deebo Samuel 35.7 (Nick)
Mike Williams 35.3 (Sneen)
Robert Woods 31.2 (Sneen)
Mike Evans 29.9 (Andy)
Ja'Marr Chase 27.1 (Sneen)
Michael Pittman Jr. 25.2 (Ryan)
Chris Godwin 24.7 (Alec)
Allen Robinson 24.6 (Sneen)
A.J. Brown 22.5 (Alec)
D.J. Chark 16.8 (Cole)
Tee Higgins 16 (Cole)
Julio Jones 13.6 (Ryan)
Tyler Lockett 13.5 (Andy)
Courtland Sutton 8.7 (Cole)
Jaylen Waddle 6.3 (Cole)
DeVonta Smith 3.6 (Ryan)
TE
Travis Kelce 73.2 (Andy)
Darren Waller 63.4 (Hoefs)
T.J. Hockenson 57.5 (Alec)
Noah Fant 45.6 (Nick)
Mark Andrews 43.3 (Sneen)
George Kittle 40.6 (Darrin)
Logan Thomas 33.7 (Cole)
Kyle Pitts 28.4 (Ryan)
Rob Gronkowski 9.5 (Ryan)
K
Justin Tucker 47 (Sneen)
Tyler Bass 45 (Cole)
Brandon McManus 39 (Alec)
Matt Gay 28 (Nick)
Harrison Butker 27 (Darrin)
Jason Sanders 21 (Andy)
Younghoe Koo 17 (Hoefs)
Daniel Carlson 14 (Ryan)
Greg Zuerlein 10 (Nick)
Mason Crosby 9 (Hoefs)
Josh Lambo 1 (Ryan)
DF
Denver Broncos 35 (Andy)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 24 (Alec)
Cleveland Browns 23 (Nick)
Buffalo Bills 21 (Sneen)
New Orleans Saints 21 (Ryan)
Pittsburgh Steelers 16 (Hoefs)
Arizona Cardinals 15 (Cole)
Los Angeles Rams 14 (Cole)
San Francisco 49ers 7 (Nick)
Baltimore Ravens 4 (Sneen)
Carolina Panthers 4 (Darrin)
Miami Dolphins 4 (Cole)
Indianapolis Colts 3 (Ryan)
Washington Football Team 3 (Darrin)
Tennessee Titans 2 (Hoefs)
Cincinnati Bengals 1 (Nick)
Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose)
Scott's Many Endeavors 4-0
Yeezy Taught Me 3-1
SNEEN MACHINE 2-2
Team ChowHounds 2-2
Take Mahomes Country Roads 2-2
Todd's Plan 1-3
Tax Paying Homeowner 1-3
Colieveland 96ers 1-3
