Wisconsin Rapids Bro League
Our tenth official season of blaming Cole Walters for throwing Saints receivers hospital balls.
Bro...
In what was a sloppy weekend of wet and wild football, many midwesterner's fears were concerned that the ankle-biting Detroit Lions are an absolute unit and unstoppable force at the moment. Even though there weren't "ideal" conditions for any type of event to take place at Lambeau Field on Sunday, it was still Jared Goff slinging the football more accurately than any quarterback ever over a six-week stretch and no, the Packers on the field were not at full strength and probably could have benefit from more ground-and-pound-and-slip-and-slide from Josh Jacobs, the best running back they've had since Ahman Green. Not to be outdone in efficiency, the NFL's other stalwart team took a muddy victory lap on Monday night in overtime to stay undefeated. The Chiefs showed minor glimpses of their late-2010s explosiveness on offense thanks to the addition of WR DeAndre Hopkins, which opened up T-o-d-d Todd To Go TE Travis Kelce to a 22-point night and Kansas City waltzed into 8-0. The Buccaneers sure do resemble a playoff team despite all the personnel they've lost and hats off to Baker Mayfield on making an excellent MVP audition tape this first half of the 2024 season. Something tells me NFL award voters will still prefer the league's highest scoring QBs, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson but Baker has been a weekly waiver wonder candidate that has yet to accumulate a single start in the Bro League. Bro... what's wrong with us?
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@BussinTWB
These dudes all walked so that MVP Baker Mayfield could run. |
Tampa Bay's overtime loss to the Chiefs has the Bucs two games back in a race for the NFC's third wildcard spot, presently occupied by the aforementioned Green Bay Packers. The Eagles and Vikings seem primed for second half drop-offs so I'm positive a spot will open up but considering how unpredictable the NFC West has been so far, it wouldn't surprise anyone to see any one of those four teams win the division and perhaps sneak another into the playoffs. This week, RB Christian McCaffrey is returning from Injured Reserve for his first action all season and that could easily turn a 4-4 49ers team into a 13-4 49ers team if things break correctly for Kyle Shanahan's squad. The third pick in this season's WRBL draft is bound to be the lead story coming out of the weekend, breakthrough performance or not and all eyes should be on Tua Lipa vs. Tax Paying Homeowner now that Nick and Alec are headed on divergent paths with Z losing b2b as Swanson hits rewind to the preseason, a total 360 to when he still had hope. One of these two will be in second place in the Shitter... I mean Shooter McGavin Division if I lose to Sparky, now that he's re-discovered his winning ways again.
In the Steven Nett Division, everyone's a winner but Gabe. I guess the Milwaukee Bucks "winning ways" must be contagious. Quick Gabe! Get out of that locker room before Doc tells you to sit your starters for the playoffs! Stoltz is our only real hope at gaining any ground in the Shooter division this week as he could knock Brett back a step instead of letting him casually stroll into the playoffs way ahead of everyone else. This season has been unlike any other in just how tight the standings are now but, Brett has separated himself in the easier of the two division races. Cole remains a game up on Hoefs and those two face each other this week with the likes of QB Jordan Love, RB Kenneth Walker and breakout TE Brock Bowers on bye so all guesses are as good as mine as to how that will finish. The Van Buren Boys have found a trustworthy twelve-point play of QB Joe Burrow and WR Ja'Marr Chase that will need to have a big Thursday night in Baltimore if the Bro League's highest scoring team wants to finally get a hold of top positioning in his division. Other highlighted games this weekend include the Steelers at Washington where the league's hottest young offense faces the league's best defense minus RB Brian Robinson Jr. (certainly leans in Pittsburgh's favor since I don't think I've ever seen Washington have a home-field advantage in my lifetime), the Cowboys bring back Cooper Rush (WHY TRADE A FOURTH ROUNDER FOR TREY LANCE, JERRY!!??) with Dak's hamstring torn (another QB not used this season in WRBL) to face the division-rival Eagles (Jalen Hurts... questionable?) and a matchup between social media's favorite team of the 2024 offseason (Houston) host social media's favorite team of the 2024 actual season (Detroit). Speaking of social media, I am now on Bluesky. I don't know what that means yet but it's provocative and it gets the people going, so I'm all in. Much like known Miami Dolphins fan Nick Zurawski, I'm also all in on Monday night's Miami game versus the LA Rams. I have a bold prediction that it's going to be a similar game to that of the 2018 Chiefs-Rams primetime game that had a 54-51 final. Nobody sees it coming because both teams have struggled to combine for a 6-10 record so far but I also don't think either team has been nearly as healthy as they are in this moment. Puka Nacua did just get a full half of rest this past weekend after his "punch" led to his ejection and I'm sure he's got way more pent up energy where that came from.
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Gregory Fisher - Imagn Images
After somehow logging -4 receiving yards on two receptions with a TD this past week, I expect WR Jaylen Waddle to have a massive bounceback against a Rams secondary that just traded CB Tre'Davious White. |
Official WRBL Standings
Steven Nett Division
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 6-3 W1 (1,147.8)
The Van Buren Boys (Nathaniel Hoefs) 5-4 W1 (1,226.56)
Dad Weights and Protein Shakes (Jaime Sparkes) 5-4 W1 (1,110.06)
Stoltzya's Electric Orcas (Gabe Stoltz) 4-5 L1 (1,034.36)
Shooter McGavin Division
Caleb Williams Nail Polish (Brett Weinfurter) 6-3 L1 (1,146.64)
Tua Lipa (Nick Zurawski) 4-5 L2 (1,062.64)
T-o-d-d Todd To Go (Andy Todd) 3-6 L1 (1,083.84)
Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 3-6 W2 (994.94)
Week Nine Final Scores
ALEC defeats ANDY 116.8-95.08
SPARKY defeats NICK 136.92-119.4
COLE defeats GABE 141.38-115.7
HOEFS defeats BRETT 145.44-97.9
Heroes of the Week: RB Saquon Barkley (32.9, Cole), RB De'Von Achane (32.1, Hoefs), WR Garrett Wilson (30, Cole)
Waiver Wonders: WR Demarcus Robinson (27.4), TE Mike Gesicki (27), QB Daniel Jones (24.36)
Benchwarmers of the Week: WR Jaxon Smith-Njigba (37, Alec), WR Zay Flowers (29.7, Brett), WR DeAndre Hopkins (28.6, Nick)
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Seth Wenig
Hero of the Week: WR Garrett Wilson (Colieveland 96ers) |
Upcoming Week 10 Schedule for both WRBL and NFL (in CST)
Cole v. Hoefs
Brett v. Gabe
Nick v. Alec
Andy v. Sparky
Thursday @ 7:15 PM: Cincinnati @ Baltimore
Sunday Morning @ 8:30 AM in Munich, Germany: NY Giants v. Carolina
Sunday @ NOON: New England @ Chicago (QUADBOX)
San Francisco @ Tampa Bay (QUADBOX)
Denver @ Kansas City (QUADBOX)
Buffalo @ Indianapolis
Pittsburgh @ Washington (QUADBOX)
Minnesota @ Jacksonville
Atlanta @ New Orleans
Sunday @ 3:05 PM: Tennessee @ LA Chargers
Sunday @ 3:25 PM: NY Jets @ Arizona
Philadelphia @ Dallas
Sunday @ 7:20 PM: Detroit @ Houston
Monday @ 7:15 PM: Miami @ LA Rams
BYE WEEKS: Green Bay Packers, Seattle Seahawks, Cleveland Browns & Las Vegas Raiders
Scoring Leaders
QB
Lamar Jackson 225.66 (Brett)
Josh Allen 181.14 (Nick)
Jalen Hurts 177.16 (Gabe)
Joe Burrow 143.96 (Hoefs)
Brock Purdy 119.26 (Alec)
Jayden Daniels 112.04 (Sparky)
Jordan Love 80.52 (Cole)
Caleb Williams 61.38 (Andy)
Aaron Rodgers 47.78 (Cole)
Patrick Mahomes 44.46 (Sparky)
Jared Goff 41.74 (Andy)
Tua Tagovailoa 38.78 (Andy)
C.J. Stroud 37.8 (Hoefs)
Kyler Murray 24.1 (Gabe)
Drake Maye 20.84 (Andy)
Sam Darnold 19 (Alec)
Kirk Cousins 17.78 (Cole)
Derek Carr 7.98 (Alec)
RB
Derrick Henry 190.9 (Nick)
Alvin Kamara 190.7 (Sparky)
Saquon Barkley 177.1 (Cole)
Bijan Robinson 161.7 (Andy)
Jahmyr Gibbs 150.1 (Gabe)
Kyren Williams 149.8 (Alec)
Breece Hall 139.9 (Andy)
James Conner 128.1 (Brett)
D'Andre Swift 123.9 (Brett)
De'Von Achane 105.7 (Hoefs)
Jordan Mason 103.1 (Nick)
Joe Mixon 101.2 (Cole)
Jonathan Taylor 100.2 (Nick)
Kenneth Walker 99.9 (Hoefs)
James Cook 93.4 (Hoefs)
Aaron Jones 90.9 (Sparky)
Josh Jacobs 79.4 (Alec)
J.K. Dobbins 78.3 (Alec)
Brian Robinson Jr. 66.5 (Gabe)
Chuba Hubbard 66.1 (Sparky)
Travis Etienne 58.2 (Cole)
Kareem Hunt 50.7 (Gabe)
Tony Pollard 45.1 (Cole)
Tyrone Tracy Jr. 36.8 (Gabe)
Isiah Pacheco 31.9 (Gabe)
David Montgomery 27.52 (Cole)
Rachaad White 26.2 (Nick)
Rhamondre Stevenson 25.5 (Alec)
Najee Harris 25 (Sparky)
Zack Moss 17.8 (Hoefs)
Jerome Ford 17.4 (Hoefs)
Cam Akers 12.7 (Cole)
Trey Sermon 5.9 (Nick)
Javonte Williams 4.6 (Andy)
Nick Chubb 4.5 (Nick)
Ty Johnson 3.4 (Hoefs)
Raheem Mostert 3 (Brett)
WR
Ja'Marr Chase 169.8 (Hoefs)
Justin Jefferson 157.48 (Sparky)
Garrett Wilson 156.8 (Cole)
CeeDee Lamb 148.2 (Gabe)
Drake London 141.2 (Brett)
Malik Nabers 128.7 (Hoefs)
Chris Godwin 115.5 (Cole)
Nico Collins 106.7 (Andy)
Amon-Ra St. Brown 95.78 (Brett)
Mike Evans 90.1 (Andy)
Tyreek Hill 88.2 (Alec)
A.J. Brown 85.4 (Hoefs)
D.J. Moore 83.9 (Nick)
Cooper Kupp 77.2 (Nick)
Deebo Samuel 73 (Andy)
Jayden Reed 72.8 (Sparky)
Marvin Harrison Jr. 72.3 (Brett)
DK Metcalf 71 (Alec)
Stefon Diggs 68.1 (Gabe)
Chris Olave 58 (Gabe)
Tank Dell 53.1 (Alec)
Amari Cooper 45.9 (Nick)
Zay Flowers 45.4 (Brett)
Davante Adams 44.9 (Sparky)
Courtland Sutton 38.58 (Sparky)
Brandon Aiyuk 38.2 (Cole)
Tee Higgins 32.9 (Sparky)
Rashee Rice 29.1 (Andy)
Diontae Johnson 25.7 (Gabe)
Jaylen Waddle 24.7 (Cole)
Terry McLaurin 23.3 (Hoefs)
Jameson Williams 18.9 (Alec)
Romeo Doubs 17 (Andy)
DeVonta Smith 15.7 (Gabe)
Jaxon Smith-Njigba 13.1 (Alec)
Josh Downs 12 (Cole)
Xavier Worthy 11.8 (Hoefs)
George Pickens 11.4 (Brett)
Puka Nacua 10.3 (Alec)
Wan'Dale Robinson 10 (Andy)
Jordan Addison 9.6 (Brett)
Michael Pittman Jr. 9.5 (Alec/Andy)
Tyler Lockett 8.5 (Nick)
Rashid Shaheed 8.3 (Nick)
Christian Watson 7.9 (Andy)
Rome Odunze 2 (Sparky)
TE
George Kittle 111.8 (Brett)
Brock Bowers 92.7 (Cole)
Kyle Pitts 91 (Alec)
Dalton Kincaid 77.2 (Sparky)
Travis Kelce 74.6 (Andy)
Trey McBride 61.8 (Andy)
David Njoku 59.4 (Hoefs/Nick)
Mark Andrews 47.2 (Gabe)
Dallas Goedert 47 (Hoefs)
Tucker Kraft 45.1 (Hoefs)
Sam LaPorta 38.9 (Nick)
Jake Ferguson 31.2 (Gabe)
Cade Otton 21.7 (Hoefs)
Zach Ertz 15.5 (Hoefs/Brett)
Tyler Conklin 11.5 (Cole)
Isaiah Likely 5 (Brett)
Evan Engram 1.5 (Cole)
K
Ka'imi Fairbairn 100 (Hoefs)
Justin Tucker 83 (Alec)
Brandon Aubrey 80 (Brett)
Jake Bates 71 (Andy)
Harrison Butker 70 (Sparky)
Evan McPherson 69 (Nick)
Jake Moody 57 (Cole)
Austin Seibert 38 (Brett)
Younghoe Koo 37 (Gabe)
Cam Little 21 (Cole)
Jake Elliott 19 (Gabe)
Chris Boswell 17 (Sparky)
Blake Grupe 1 (Andy)
DF
San Francisco 49ers 66 (Sparky)
Pittsburgh Steelers 64 (Andy)
Cleveland Browns 45 (Brett)
New York Jets 42 (Hoefs)
Chicago Bears 34 (Alec)
Philadelphia Eagles 33 (Nick)
Los Angeles Chargers 29 (Nick/Alec)
Dallas Cowboys 26 (Gabe)
Cincinnati Bengals 23 (Andy/Gabe)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 19 (Cole)
Buffalo Bills 18 (Alec)
New Orleans Saints 16 (Nick/Cole)
New England Patriots 12 (Cole)
Baltimore Ravens 11 (Alec)
Las Vegas Raiders 10 (Nick)
Minnesota Vikings 10 (Hoefs)
Kansas City Chiefs 9 (Brett)
Miami Dolphins 8 (Cole)
Denver Broncos 7 (Cole)
Washington Commanders 4 (Andy)
Houston Texans 2 (Sparky)
Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose, no divisions)
Brett 6-3
Cole 6-3
Sparky 5-4
Andy 5-4
Nick 5-4
Hoefs 4-5
Gabe 3-6
Alec 2-7
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