Wisconsin Rapids Bro League
Bro...
My first weekend with NFL Ticket was an overwhelming success at the Todd household as I welcomed in the new season with the RedZone on one screen (shout out Scott Hanson) and the quadbox on the secondary screen (It's much higher up on a shelf and is usually reserved for whatever the non-Packer game is due to Father Todd's extreme homerism). I enjoyed tracking all three rookie quarterback debuts and Titans-Saints for the debuts of some old faces in new places (Derek Carr and DeAndre Hopkins to name the two most famous). Damn, is it great to have football back or what? Last we left the Bro League, Cole Walters was crowned the first ever two-time league winner among current owners. Instead of following the year up with my annual league summary, I decided to save all the super in-depth statistical mumbo jumbo for a later date. In the meantime, here are your 2022 WRBL Award winners to give everyone one last reminder of how we let the 96ers 96 us all over again...
As for recapping the events of week one, it feels like I'm obligated to start with the saddest development of the season where the script writers mere suggestion to write off one of it's biggest stars was met with gasps of shock and awe. I'm not one to root for injury and am sincerely bummed about the entertainment value lost by the New York Jets. Hopefully, Aaron Rodgers can come back at full strength in 2024 and lead the Vikings to the NFC Championship BUT for somebody who so badly wanted to be the main character of the National Football League and did seemingly more talking the past eighteen months than any other NFL player, well... Here's your dramatic plot twist. It'd be different if he were at a lower paying position or if he weren't acting as the world's most famous amateur shaman recently but, I felt nothing besides laughter at the absurdity of what developed at MetLife Stadium on Monday night. I've never felt that way about anything injury related in my life as a sports fan. Does this make me a bad person? I don't know and I'll take the time to personally reflect on my truly despicable reaction to the Rodgers injury. I don't know the man beyond what was presented to me by his public actions and even with all the Soap Opera BS of his 2020s timeline, I'm left asking "why couldn't it have been Deshaun Watson instead?". It might be the grossest take I've ever had but the way people reacted to that Titanic replica sinking this past year? Well, sometimes it's okay for bad things to happen to bad rich people and I'm not entirely certain this doesn't fit under the same category. It's a temporary injury and God plus modern medicine willing, he'll be back but for now? I'm okay with the main character being written out, especially if he is the one leaking his dissatisfaction with the offensive playcalling not even a full day removed from the ruptured Achilles. I also don't have a take on that whole replica Titanic thing since I wasn't aware it was happening until well after the fact so I'm going to pull a Keke Palmer and state "I do not know who those men are. I mean, they could be walking down the street and I wouldn't know a thing. Sorry to those men."
Chris O'Meara/AP
A couple years of being an annoying weirdo doesn't mean I wouldn't love seeing this recreated with Garrett Wilson or Justin Jefferson in 2024, I'm rooting for the comeback story... Just not yet. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Speaking of recreating massive spectacles against all odds, Cole Walters is 1-0 and leads the league in scoring after drafting QB Josh Allen, WR Stefon Diggs, K Tyler Bass and WR Jaylen Waddle as he tries to replicate the Colieveland 96ers' 2022 title so that "The Shelby" trophy (that name has to change guys, it has taken on a whole other, unrelated meaning to some people this offseason) won't have to be shipped in the mail from wherever Cole is travelling now to a miniature million dollar apartment off the shores of Jersey, my parents' house or under a pile of clothes in Alec's closet, collecting dust. How was Cole able to re-stack all of his Buffalo Dolla Dolla Bills, y'all? By sheer force. That's right, I came into our last minute draft having completed three fantasy drafts already (two keeper leagues so the depth was bleak in comparison) and I just KNEW that I had to draft guys I was maybe sort of avoiding or just barely missed out on in other leagues. If anyone has followed my strategy over the years in the Bro League, they would know that I'm not afraid to just say fuck it after two games and take a stab at whatever rookie Running Back is available and one injury away from becoming the next Larry Johnson (Chiefs RB, not the Hornet nicknamed "Grandmama"). That willingness to go all in on youth motivated me to trade up from pick #5 (WR Stefon Diggs) by sending Cole #12 (QB Josh Allen) as well for pick #'s 2 (RB Bijan Robinson) & 122 (RB Deon Jackson). Nick vocally disapproved the trade but there was no public shaming beyond a simple "Nice meme trade, congratulations on winning once again Cole". So far, his proclamation has proven correct but it's a long season and we're all just one misstep away from dramatically altering our fortunes. May the odds be ever in your favor and hopefully these shorter recaps tide (but not roll tide because 'Bama lost) us over until the TV writers end their strike so that they can stop messing with our sports.
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| USA TODAY Sports Hero of the Week: WR Tyreek Hill (Live.Laugh.Olave.) |
GABE v. COLE
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