WRBL Week 11, 2021

 Wisconsin Rapids Bro League

Week Eleven

Our Seventh Official Season of blaming Cole Walters for the lemonade stand 'round the corner running out of grapes.

Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks)

Steven Nett Division

Scott's Many Endeavors (Nick Zurawski) 10-1 L1

Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 7-4 W1

Yeezy Taught Me (Nathaniel Hoefs) 4-7 L1

Todd's Plan (Andy Todd) 3-8 L1

Tanner Glaza Division

Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 6-5 W1

Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 6-5 W1

SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 4-7 W1

Big Nick Energy (Ryan Dougherty) 4-7 L1

Week Eleven Final Scores

COLE defeats NICK 138.36-124.58

DARRIN defeats ANDY 129.3-127.32

ALEC defeats HOEFS 144.34-135.98

SNEEN defeats RYAN 141.04-107.7

Heroes of the Week: RB Jonathan Taylor (53.4), RB Austin Ekeler (41.5), QB Justin Herbert (34.28)

Waiver Wonders: WR Elijah Moore (29.6), TE Zach Ertz (28.8), QB Cam Newton (26.16)

What-if of the Week: If Titans' RB Dontrell Hilliard doesn't fumble into the end zone and either A. Stays up and scores or B. falls down, leading to another play on offense for Tennessee, Ryan Tannehill quite possibly scores 4.12 more points. That would have been enough for Todd's Plan to stay realistically alive in the playoff hunt, only two games behind Darrin instead of the 4.0 GB that currently stands.

Robert Scheer/IndyStar
Hero of the Week: RB Jonathan Taylor (Tax Paying Homeowner)

Upcoming Week 12 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)

Hoefs v. Nick

Sneen v. Darrin

Alec v. Ryan

Cole v. Andy

Thursday (THANKSGIVING) Games: Chicago @ Detroit 11:30 AM

Las Vegas @ Dallas 3:30 PM

Buffalo @ New Orleans 7:20 PM

Sunday NOON: Pittsburgh @ Cincinnati

Tampa Bay @ Indianapolis

Carolina @ Miami

Tennessee @ New England

Philadelphia @ NY Giants

Atlanta @ Jacksonville

NY Jets @ Houston 

3:05 PM: LA Chargers @ Denver

3:25 PM: LA Rams @ Green Bay

Minnesota @ San Francisco

Sunday Night Football: Cleveland @ Baltimore 7:20 PM 

Monday Night Football: Seattle @ Washington 7:15 PM

BYES: Arizona, Kansas City

Bro...

This year I'm thankful for friendships. Whether it's the men in this league, people I've known all my life, my co-workers or even those that I've lot touch with over time but know are still out there somewhere, slaying this whole adulthood thing on the other side of the country or globe. I think we've all been reminded of the importance of the bonds formed in this league as life has changed fairly dramatically for much of the world these past two years in the obvious (probably time to schedule that booster shot) and not-so-obvious (aka: not really MY place to bring up even if it is my blog but y'know... marriage, career changes, distant moves, personal breakthrough type of shit that goes without saying) ways. I suppose working my menial job eight days in a row just so I could get a holiday off has me feeling a bit more reflective than usual (never do that "What are you thankful for this year?" bullshit if you're going to invite me over for turkey for I will take an extended bathroom break). I could not have made it as sane and upbeat throughout the past year if it weren't for some of my coworkers. Since I found out one of them was in an accident this week, I'm also thankful they made it out okay because totaling a vehicle is pretty low-tier on the list of concerns when we all personally know how badly those types of situations can go down and I'm shaking just thinking about it. I'm glad you're alright and I'll see you in a couple weeks, bro.

Oh yeah! This is a weekly update on our fantasy football league. Let me get back on topic...

Ready the Turduckken and Galloping Gobbler atrocity of a trophy presentation because there are THREE Thursday football games. Alec will be watching intently as his Chicago football team either BEARS down on 0-9-1 Lion meat or bows out of any super outside wildcard odds now that they are 3-7 and forced to start "Red Rifle" Andy Dalton with Justin Fields healing his ribs on a short week. The midday contest sees two teams on cold spells looking for the nearest heated seats with the 5-5 Raiders playing at 7-3 Dallas, down both COVID-infected Amari Cooper and possibly still-concussed CeeDee Lamb. I'd call on a huge game for Ezekiel Elliott or Michael Gallup but, you just know that this is the random three touchdown Blake Jarwin/Tony Pollard game. Every Thanksgiving has a breakout star and it's either going to be one of those two or whoever the Saints' third-string running back is (Taysom Hill?). Speaking of the Saints, it'll still be Trevor Siemian starting at home against Buffalo as Who Dat? Nation probably takes their last gasps of superiority in 2021 against a mightily struggling Bills' squad that's crushing more hopes than tables as of late. All in all, it should be a wonderful day highlighted by food, family and fantasy football.

Week 10 only saw one team play football on Thursday as up to this point, I'm still not sure what the Atlanta Falcons were playing in their 25-0 loss to the #2 seed in the AFC (!) Patriots. If this is Mac Jones's ceiling, does it even matter? isn't Bill Belichick and co. just going to find a way to pull a conference championship out of their asses every year that they aren't forced into taking on the personality of a Cam Newton or the shitty injury luck that leads them to still going 11-5 with Matt Cassel? The Patriots are like cockroaches at this point. Not all hope is lost though because now that we live in a world where it HAS been proven possible that a team can take down Nick Zurawski's 2021 juggernaut of a roster, I'm going to quote Cole Walters here and state that "Dreams Do Come True!". Instead of pondering his orb, Nicky Z will now recalculate his projections since perfection is off the table as he looks to conceivably knock Hoefs out of postseason contention early. Don't worry Nathan, I've kept a seat empty for you in the loser's lounge. Todd's Plan now sits at 3-8 after a plethora of "What If" happenings culminated in a one point (rounded down?) loss to Darrin's ChowHounds. It would not have been such an upsetting loss if it weren't for Matt Prater missing two field goals, Tannehill's practice squad running back fumbling away a touchdown catch, a bunch of cheap Leonard Fournette dump-offs, the four Tannehill turnovers and cutting James Conner (20.9 for Darrin in week 11) back in September.

USA TODAY Sports
Team Chowhounds also received a ton of help from WR Adam Thielen (22.2 points) in the 5-5 Vikings' upset win over the 8-3 Packers.

All of those tumultuous Titans plays lead to an upset win for the 2-8 Texans and Adrian Peterson's (surprisingly quick) release. Tennessee will be taking their 8-3 team up to Foxborough to face the previously mentioned Patriots at noon on Sunday. It is amazing how action-packed this weekend seems to still be without the 7-4 Kansas City Chiefs or the 9-2 Arizona Cardinals. Certainly, the Chiefs' week off will make winning harder for Ryan's Big Nick Energy without QB Patrick Mahomes as the league baby (in age sense, not emotional. Take it easy there, Ryan. Nobody does more baby-like complaining than me now that Scott's taking a gap year) faces the 6-5 Tax Paying Homeowner Alec Swanson. Just remember that if you get walked in on without a quality quarterback (no offense to Jalen Hurts or whomever you may chose for week 12) in your lineup in a losing effort that lineup shrinkage is a thing and shouting "MAHOMES WAS ON BYE! MAHOMES WAS ON BYE!" as a method of defense is true Big Nick Energy. The biggest names were already missing from the Cardinals' lineup (Murray & Hopkins) so, a bye week will be much appreciated in the desert with only Darrin's RB James Conner as a noteworthy absence.

Finally, the Sneen Machine found their path to redemption after a fairly demoralizing five game losing streak spiraled Tyler down to a 3-7 record. Now 4-7, he still has some outside shot at the postseason despite Cole and Alec both winning this past week and maintaining a two-game lead in the Tanner Glaza Division. Really, Sneen has RB Austin Ekeler (41.5 points) to thank for that as the Charger RB enters under-the-radar MVP talks alongside fellow RB Jonathan Taylor (53.4 points this week). Taylor's 6-5 Colts get a spotlight shone on them during Sunday's early slate, at home, against the 7-3 defending champion Buccaneers while Ekeler's 6-4 Chargers look to even the score with the Chiefs on bye with a possible win over 5-5 fellow AFC West-mates in Denver. The national late afternoon game should be Matthew Stafford's best chance at taking down Green Bay as the 7-3 Rams come back off their much needed bye week against a team that's limping into theirs, now down CB Jaire Alexander, OT David Bakhtiari, RB Aaron Jones, TE Robert Tonyan, LB Za'Darius Smith and OL Elgton Jenkins. Oh yeah and Rodgers has a toe thing so, that's not ideal. Sunday Night Football will probably star a healthy(???) Lamar Jackson make his return just in time for the 7-3 Ravens to embarrass the 6-5 Cleveland Browns. That's just what the Browns do at this point and I have to admit, it's impressive that they aren't having a relatively bad season by any means (Above .500!) but, Baker Mayfield seems so lost and this team is still somehow in last in the AFC North. Lord help the Browns because we need some form of entertainment after the late afternoon games and Monday night's Seattle-Washington game just isn't it, no matter how many players I stockpile for that game as I try to humble the 69ers or whatever meme Mr. Walters can't let go of at the moment.

Scoring Leaders

QB

Tom Brady 213.9 (Sneen)

Lamar Jackson 211.76 (Nick)

Patrick Mahomes 205.16 (Ryan)

Josh Allen 195.22 (Cole)

Aaron Rodgers 172.9 (Darrin)

Kyler Murray 151.96 (Hoefs)

Joe Burrow 124.38 (Alec)

Russell Wilson 98.64 (Andy)

Justin Herbert 88.92 (Hoefs)

Ryan Tannehill 63.06 (Andy)

Matthew Stafford 47.08 (Darrin)

Daniel Jones 40.3 (Cole/Nick)

Derek Carr 35.68 (Alec)

Jalen Hurts 27.9 (Ryan)

Tua Tagovailoa 26.54 (Cole)

Dak Prescott 21.52 (Sneen)

Carson Wentz 17.14 (Alec)

Justin Fields 14.42 (Andy)

RB

Jonathan Taylor 265.4 (Alec)

Austin Ekeler 220.8 (Sneen)

Derrick Henry 193.3 (Darrin)

Najee Harris 193.2 (Cole)

Joe Mixon 172.8 (Nick)

Ezekiel Elliott 172.06 (Nick)

Aaron Jones 160.9 (Ryan)

Alvin Kamara 158 (Darrin)

Nick Chubb 143.4 (Ryan)

Dalvin Cook 132.2 (Sneen)

Christian McCaffrey 124 (Hoefs)

D'Andre Swift 108 (Cole)

James Robinson 104.9 (Ryan)

Darrel Williams 89 (Andy)

Leonard Fournette 85.6 (Darrin)

Darrell Henderson 82.1 (Sneen)

David Montgomery 77.5 (Alec)

Antonio Gibson 58.3 (Andy)

Chase Edmonds 56.5 (Hoefs)

Saquon Barkley 55.6 (Cole)

A.J. Dillon 55.5 (Andy)

Chuba Hubbard 50.6 (Andy/Nick)

Damien Harris 50.4 (Andy)

Josh Jacobs 50.2 (Darrin)

Alexander Mattison 49.4 (Hoefs/Andy)

D'Ernest Johnson 47.5 (Hoefs/Nick)

James Conner 47 (Sneen/Darrin)

Myles Gaskin 45.2 (Cole)

Kareem Hunt 36.7 (Hoefs)

Elijah Mitchell 36.4 (Andy)

Mark Ingram 36.1 (Ryan)

Chris Carson 35.4 (Nick)

Cordarrelle Patterson 35.2 (Sneen)

Clyde Edwards-Helaire 32.2 (Hoefs)

Khalil Herbert 27.1 (Alec)

Alex Collins 26 (Andy/Alec)

Miles Sanders 17.3 (Nick)

J.D. McKissic 15.6 (Cole/Andy)

Devontae Booker 15.2 (Nick)

Mike Davis 12.1 (Alec)

Melvin Gordon 11.2 (Ryan)

Kenyan Drake 10.5 (Ryan)

Zack Moss 10.3 (Ryan)

Michael Carter 9.6 (Cole)

Devonta Freeman 8.8 (Hoefs)

D'Onta Foreman 5 (Hoefs)

Adrian Peterson 3 (Alec)

Kenneth Gainwell 2.7 (Hoefs)

Raheem Mostert 2 (Cole)

James White 0.6 (Andy)

WR

Cooper Kupp 258.6 (Hoefs)

Tyreek Hill 232.6 (Nick)

Davante Adams 199.9 (Cole)

Stefon Diggs 173.3 (Hoefs)

Keenan Allen 167 (Andy)

Deebo Samuel 153.9 (Nick)

Adam Thielen 138.8 (Darrin)

Justin Jefferson 137.14 (Alec)

DK Metcalf 135.4 (Alec)

Michael Pittman Jr. 131 (Ryan)

Mike Evans 130 (Andy)

Terry McLaurin 128.4 (Nick)

CeeDee Lamb 126.9 (Hoefs)

A.J. Brown 126.5 (Alec)

DeAndre Hopkins 125.6 (Darrin)

Amari Cooper 121.8 (Ryan)

D.J. Moore 112.6 (Sneen)

Brandin Cooks 98.9 (Darrin)

Chris Godwin 97 (Alec)

Ja'Marr Chase 96.2 (Sneen)

Diontae Johnson 84.4 (Andy)

Mike Williams 83.8 (Sneen)

Jaylen Waddle 73.9 (Cole)

Calvin Ridley 71.1 (Andy)

Robert Woods 63.6 (Sneen)

Marquise Brown 37.8 (Darrin)

DeVonta Smith 29.9 (Ryan/Sneen)

Tee Higgins 29.8 (Cole)

Courtland Sutton 26.5 (Cole)

Allen Robinson 24.6 (Sneen)

Jakobi Meyers 20.8 (Hoefs)

Hunter Renfrow 20.3 (Hoefs)

Julio Jones 19.4 (Ryan)

D.J. Chark 16.8 (Cole)

Randall Cobb 16.5 (Cole)

Emmanuel Sanders 14.1 (Cole)

Tyler Lockett 13.5 (Andy)

Jerry Jeudy 12.9 (Alec)

Kadarius Toney 9.06 (Andy)

Van Jefferson 8.4 (Andy)

Christian Kirk 4.5 (Ryan)

Chase Claypool 3.7 (Ryan)

TE

Travis Kelce 183.5 (Andy)

Mark Andrews 153.6 (Sneen)

Darren Waller 124 (Hoefs)

Kyle Pitts 107 (Ryan)

T.J. Hockenson 99 (Alec)

Noah Fant 97.9 (Nick)

Mike Gesicki 78.5 (Cole)

George Kittle 70 (Darrin)

Logan Thomas 33.7 (Cole)

Dalton Schultz 26.8 (Darrin)

Dallas Goedert 25.2 (Hoefs)

Tyler Higbee 25.2 (Darrin)

Pat Freiermuth 11.1 (Nick)

Jared Cook 10.8 (Nick)

Tyler Conklin 9.5 (Alec)

Rob Gronkowski 9.5 (Ryan)

Robert Tonyan 7.9 (Alec)

Dawson Knox 7.5 (Ryan)

Hunter Henry 4.3 (Sneen)

K

Justin Tucker 93 (Sneen)

Tyler Bass 91 (Cole)

Harrison Butker 85 (Darrin)

Matt Gay 78 (Nick)

Brandon McManus 77 (Alec)

Nick Folk 62 (Hoefs)

Matt Prater 46 (Andy/Sneen/Andy)

Daniel Carlson 45 (Ryan/Nick)

Greg Joseph 39 (Ryan)

Mason Crosby 27 (Hoefs/Cole)

Jason Sanders 21 (Andy)

Younghoe Koo 17 (Hoefs)

Ryan Succop 13 (Alec)

Randy Bullock 12 (Andy)

Greg Zuerlein 10 (Nick)

Josh Lambo 1 (Ryan)

DF

Tampa Bay Buccaneers 74 (Alec)

New England Patriots 55 (Nick/Ryan)

Arizona Cardinals 53 (Cole/Sneen)

Buffalo Bills 52 (Sneen/Nick)

Los Angeles Rams 47 (Cole/Andy)

New Orleans Saints 44 (Ryan/Darrin)

Denver Broncos 40 (Andy)

Cleveland Browns 32 (Nick/Andy)

Indianapolis Colts 28 (Ryan/Nick/Cole)

Carolina Panthers 26 (Darrin/Alec)

Miami Dolphins 26 (Cole)

Pittsburgh Steelers 20 (Hoefs/Sneen)

Dallas Cowboys 17 (Hoefs/Darrin)

San Francisco 49ers 17 (Nick/Cole/Hoefs)

Baltimore Ravens 9 (Sneen/Hoefs)

Green Bay Packers 9 (Cole)

Atlanta Falcons 6 (Cole)

Tennessee Titans 5 (Hoefs/Nick)

Las Vegas Raiders 4 (Hoefs)

Washington Football Team 3 (Darrin)

Cincinnati Bengals 2 (Nick/Hoefs)

Chicago Bears -6 (Ryan)

Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose)

Scott's Many Endeavors 9-2

Yeezy Taught Me 6-5

Tax Paying Homeowner 6-5

SNEEN MACHINE 5-6

Team ChowHounds 5-6

Big Nick Energy 5-6

Colieveland 96ers 5-6

Todd's Plan 3-8

WRBL Week 10, 2021

 Wisconsin Rapids Bro League

Week Ten

Our Seventh Official Season of blaming Cole Walters for Winter halting my Sunday strolls.

Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks)

Steven Nett Division

Scott's Many Endeavors (Nick Zurawski) 10-0 W10

Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 6-4 L1

Yeezy Taught Me (Nathaniel Hoefs) 4-6 W1

Todd's Plan (Andy Todd) 3-7 W1

Tanner Glaza Division

Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 5-5 L1

Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 5-5 L1

Big Nick Energy (Ryan Dougherty) 4-6 W1

SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 3-7 L5

Week Ten Final Scores

NICK defeats ALEC 154.48-78.5

RYAN defeats DARRIN 141.24-103.22

HOEFS defeats COLE 148.3-108.14

ANDY defeats SNEEN 141.12-92.6

Heroes of the Week: QB Patrick Mahomes (36.24), WR Deebo Samuel (30.3), WR Stefon Diggs (30.2)

Waiver Wonders: RB Rhamondre Stevenson (27.4), WR Kendrick Bourne (24.1), WR DeVonta Smith (22.6)

What-if of the Week: If Pat Freiermuth doesn't fumble the football with 8 seconds left in the Steelers-Lions game, the Lions might be on the path to 0-17 and the Steelers could be tied for first in the AFC North.

Al Golub
Hero of the Week: WR Deebo Samuel (Scott's Many Endeavors)

Upcoming Week 11 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)

Cole v. Nick

Hoefs v. Alec

Darrin v. Andy

Ryan v. Sneen

Thursday Night Football: New England @ Atlanta 7:20 PM

Sunday NOON: Indianapolis @ Buffalo

Baltimore @ Chicago

Detroit @ Cleveland

Houston @ Tennessee

Green Bay @ Minnesota

Miami @ NY Jets

New Orleans @ Philadelphia

Washington @ Carolina

San Francisco @ Jacksonville 

3:05 PM: Cincinnati @ Las Vegas

3:25 PM: Dallas @ Kansas City

Arizona @ Seattle

Sunday Night Football: Pittsburgh @ LA Chargers 7:20 PM 

Monday Night Football: NY Giants @ Tampa Bay 7:15 PM

BYES: LA Rams, Denver

Bro...

Typically in any given college football season, there is one team that randomly grabs my attention and captures my love over the span of a season. Past examples of this phenomenon include the 2013 Texas A&M Aggies, the 2015 Western Kentucky Hilltoppers, the 2016 Texas Tech Red Raiders, the 2019 Minnesota Golden Gophers... I could list them all but that'd take some serious digging into storage folders of my memory that are buried behind other useless trivia. I bring this all up to say that this is the first year that I don't find myself going back to the same partially niche team every week and outside of the fact that I am scheduled to work every Friday and Saturday night, I get the looming feeling that this season's SEC dominance is stronger than ever and it'll come down to whomever walks away from Georgia-Alabama with a W. It's not that the Cincinnati Bearcats, Wake Forest Demon Deacons and Mississippi State Bulldogs aren't providing entertaining ball filled with MOMENTS but, there just isn't a standout team when all of college football seems equally fun and chaotic every week despite something of a drop-off in chaos this season. The only "factor" to catch my eyes this season is Kayvon Thibodeaux's box score disruption every week as the Oregon Ducks' EDGE defender looks to be the #1 pick in the 2022 NFL Draft, a nice consolation prize for the worst team in a year with no noteworthy quarterbacks in line (are people going to try to make Carson Strong from Nevada a thing?). 

Hyosub Shin/AJC
RB Zamir White carries a majority of the load for the #1 Georgia Bulldogs.

Alec must not have gotten the memo about the whole "We have to stop Nick from '72 Dolphins-ing this league with NOAH FANT being his ride-or-die tight end. What does it say about the rest of us if just let this guy create, run and demolish his own league with no naysayers? Where is the challenge coming from this year? Darrin? Ha! That man can't even hold a lead! (Consider this your early trash talk, ChowHounds) Are we really this pathetic without Scott? We completely whiffed on trade offers and the deadline this year! In a year where my lineup more or less resembles a 100 gecs album (no structure, just sheer YOLO randomness thrown into a blender that always enthralls and occasionally works), I'm more disappointed in everybody else's choices than Todd's Plan. Perhaps the postseason is a possibility after all? Aaron Jones going down certainly elevated RB A.J. Dillon's value. I'd talk trade with y'all but, since the entire NFC East Tanner Glaza Division Snail Race chose silence over violence, I guess the Quadfather is mine to keep. 

That's right... even with Alec turning into a pumpkin, Cole Walters put up less of a fight than Max Walters this week by getting blown out 40 point to Hoefs, who still sits a game ahead of Andy for third in the Steven Nett Division. After pouring cold water on his own divisional dreams, maybe Waltdog needs to wear the cone of shame this week for taking the "Hardest Road" like he's Kevin Durant or something. Sneen Machine continues to back it up in reverse with his fifth straight loss giving him sole possession of last in his division, evening his won-loss total with that of Todd's Plan. Somehow in this week of upsets (Washington over Tampa! San Francisco over the LA Rams! Vikings over Chargers!), the closest WRBL matchup had Ryan beating dad Darrin by 38.02(!). I had to come up with a non-fantasy What If of the Week! You guys made me think harder and quite frankly, that's always where things start to sputter out of control. At least the Steelers and Lions' constantly ricocheting passes in the sloppy tie made an alternate reality much more believable with Big Ben out due to COVID. 

Add "COVID-illness" to the list of ailments to hinder Ben Roethlisberger over his 18-year career. Still not sure he's caught up to Brett Favre though.

It's been a wild fall season in both football and life in general so, I'm going to take a page out of Adele's book (or her new album, 30 rather) and ask the ChowHounds to "Take it easy on me" despite the previous trash talking. I win three out of every ten games and suddenly I'm Connor McGregor. Cole will be begging Nick for mercy as well despite Scott's Many Endeavors being down a Tight End. Hell, maybe this will give Z a chance to upgrade the position! (nobody tell him about Logan Thomas, please and thank you). With a Cole loss, a Hoefs victory over the Tax Paying Homeowner and Sneen dropping a SIXTH week in a row to Ryan, there's a very real possibility of a three-way tie for first in the Jeff Fisher Division for Mediocre Teams That Wanna Learn And Do Other Stuff Good Too (AKA: Steven Nett Division). There will be plenty to discuss next week with only the Broncos and Rams on bye this week and the Thanksgiving Day games LITERALLY within the next seven days so much like Big Ben's passes we'll keep this one a bit shorter and unlike Russell Wilson, I don't need to rehab any fingers nineteen hours a day so I'll just leave it at best of luck to all in the upcoming week! 

Scoring Leaders

QB

Tom Brady 213.9 (Sneen)

Lamar Jackson 211.76 (Nick)

Patrick Mahomes 197.86 (Ryan)

Josh Allen 179.06 (Cole)

Kyler Murray 151.96 (Hoefs)

Aaron Rodgers 139.4 (Darrin)

Joe Burrow 124.38 (Alec)

Russell Wilson 98.64 (Andy)

Justin Herbert 54.64 (Hoefs)

Ryan Tannehill 53.84 (Andy)

Matthew Stafford 47.08 (Darrin)

Derek Carr 35.68 (Alec)

Daniel Jones 32.62 (Cole/Nick)

Jalen Hurts 27.9 (Ryan)

Tua Tagovailoa 26.54 (Cole)

Dak Prescott 18.88 (Sneen)

Justin Fields 14.42 (Andy)

Carson Wentz 7.1 (Alec)

RB

Jonathan Taylor 212 (Alec)

Derrick Henry 193.3 (Darrin)

Austin Ekeler 179.3 (Sneen)

Najee Harris 176.3 (Cole)

Aaron Jones 160.9 (Ryan)

Ezekiel Elliott 159.26 (Nick)

Alvin Kamara 158 (Darrin)

Joe Mixon 148.5 (Nick)

Nick Chubb 121 (Ryan)

Dalvin Cook 109.7 (Sneen)

Christian McCaffrey 99.1 (Hoefs)

James Robinson 93.1 (Ryan)

Darrel Williams 89 (Andy)

D'Andre Swift 85.4 (Cole)

Darrell Henderson 82.1 (Sneen)

Leonard Fournette 72.2 (Darrin)

David Montgomery 69.8 (Alec)

Antonio Gibson 58.3 (Andy)

Chase Edmonds 56.5 (Hoefs)

Saquon Barkley 55.6 (Cole)

Chuba Hubbard 50.6 (Andy/Nick)

Damien Harris 50.4 (Andy)

Alexander Mattison 49.4 (Hoefs/Andy)

D'Ernest Johnson 47.5 (Hoefs/Nick)

A.J. Dillon 39.8 (Andy)

Josh Jacobs 39.1 (Darrin)

Kareem Hunt 36.7 (Hoefs)

Elijah Mitchell 36.4 (Andy)

Chris Carson 35.4 (Nick)

Cordarrelle Patterson 35.2 (Sneen)

Clyde Edwards-Helaire 32.2 (Hoefs)

Khalil Herbert 27.1 (Alec)

Myles Gaskin 26.6 (Cole)

James Conner 26.1 (Sneen/Darrin)

Alex Collins 26 (Andy/Alec)

Mark Ingram 20.8 (Ryan)

Miles Sanders 17.3 (Nick)

Devontae Booker 15.2 (Nick)

Mike Davis 12.1 (Alec)

Melvin Gordon 11.2 (Ryan)

Kenyan Drake 10.5 (Ryan)

Zack Moss 10.3 (Ryan)

Michael Carter 9.6 (Cole)

J.D. McKissic 9.6 (Cole)

Devonta Freeman 8.8 (Hoefs)

Adrian Peterson 3 (Alec)

Kenneth Gainwell 2.7 (Hoefs)

Raheem Mostert 2 (Cole)

James White 0.6 (Andy)

WR

Cooper Kupp 258.6 (Hoefs)

Tyreek Hill 212.6 (Nick)

Davante Adams 169.4 (Cole)

Stefon Diggs 155 (Hoefs)

Keenan Allen 146.8 (Andy)

Deebo Samuel 137.5 (Nick)

Justin Jefferson 137.14 (Alec)

Michael Pittman Jr. 126.7 (Ryan)

DK Metcalf 128.3 (Alec)

DeAndre Hopkins 125.6 (Darrin)

CeeDee Lamb 122.5 (Hoefs)

Amari Cooper 121.8 (Ryan)

A.J. Brown 116.7 (Alec)

Adam Thielen 116.6 (Darrin)

Mike Evans 109.7 (Andy)

Terry McLaurin 107.1 (Nick)

D.J. Moore 96.6 (Sneen)

Brandin Cooks 95.1 (Darrin)

Mike Williams 83.8 (Sneen)

Ja'Marr Chase 83.2 (Sneen)

Chris Godwin 77.8 (Alec)

Calvin Ridley 71.1 (Andy)

Robert Woods 63.6 (Sneen)

Diontae Johnson 61.3 (Andy)

Jaylen Waddle 53.3 (Cole)

Marquise Brown 37.8 (Darrin)

Tee Higgins 29.8 (Cole)

Courtland Sutton 26.5 (Cole)

Allen Robinson 24.6 (Sneen)

Jakobi Meyers 20.8 (Hoefs)

DeVonta Smith 19.8 (Ryan)

Julio Jones 19.4 (Ryan)

D.J. Chark 16.8 (Cole)

Randall Cobb 16.5 (Cole)

Emmanuel Sanders 14.1 (Cole)

Tyler Lockett 13.5 (Andy)

Jerry Jeudy 12.9 (Alec)

Hunter Renfrow 12.8 (Hoefs)

Kadarius Toney 9.06 (Andy)

Van Jefferson 8.4 (Andy)

Chase Claypool 3.7 (Ryan)

TE

Travis Kelce 164.7 (Andy)

Mark Andrews 138.3 (Sneen)

Darren Waller 105.4 (Hoefs)

Kyle Pitts 101.1 (Ryan)

Noah Fant 97.9 (Nick)

T.J. Hockenson 87.9 (Alec)

Mike Gesicki 68.5 (Cole)

George Kittle 56.6 (Darrin)

Logan Thomas 33.7 (Cole)

Dalton Schultz 26.8 (Darrin)

Dallas Goedert 25.2 (Hoefs)

Tyler Higbee 25.2 (Darrin)

Jared Cook 10.8 (Nick)

Tyler Conklin 9.5 (Alec)

Rob Gronkowski 9.5 (Ryan)

Robert Tonyan 7.9 (Alec)

Dawson Knox 7.5 (Ryan)

Hunter Henry 4.3 (Sneen)

K

Tyler Bass 92 (Cole)

Justin Tucker 82 (Sneen)

Matt Gay 78 (Nick)

Harrison Butker 77 (Darrin)

Brandon McManus 77 (Alec)

Nick Folk 46 (Hoefs)

Matt Prater 41 (Andy/Sneen/Andy)

Daniel Carlson 37 (Ryan)

Greg Joseph 29 (Ryan)

Mason Crosby 27 (Hoefs/Cole)

Jason Sanders 21 (Andy)

Younghoe Koo 17 (Hoefs)

Randy Bullock 12 (Andy)

Greg Zuerlein 10 (Nick)

Josh Lambo 1 (Ryan)

DF

Tampa Bay Buccaneers 61 (Alec)

Buffalo Bills 52 (Sneen/Nick)

Los Angeles Rams 47 (Cole/Andy)

Arizona Cardinals 44 (Cole/Sneen)

New Orleans Saints 41 (Ryan/Darrin)

Denver Broncos 40 (Andy)

New England Patriots 29 (Nick/Ryan)

Indianapolis Colts 28 (Ryan/Nick/Cole)

Carolina Panthers 26 (Darrin/Alec)

Cleveland Browns 23 (Nick)

Miami Dolphins 22 (Cole)

Pittsburgh Steelers 20 (Hoefs/Sneen)

Dallas Cowboys 17 (Hoefs/Darrin)

San Francisco 49ers 17 (Nick/Cole/Hoefs)

Green Bay Packers 9 (Cole)

Atlanta Falcons 6 (Cole)

Las Vegas Raiders 4 (Hoefs)

Washington Football Team 3 (Darrin)

Baltimore Ravens 2 (Sneen/Hoefs)

Cincinnati Bengals 2 (Nick/Hoefs)

Tennessee Titans 2 (Hoefs)

Chicago Bears -6 (Ryan)

Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose)

Scott's Many Endeavors 9-1

Yeezy Taught Me 5-5

Team ChowHounds 5-5

Tax Paying Homeowner 5-5

Big Nick Energy 5-5

SNEEN MACHINE 4-6

Colieveland 96ers 4-6

Todd's Plan 3-7

WRBL Week 9, 2021

 Wisconsin Rapids Bro League

Week Nine

Our Seventh Official Season of blaming Cole Walters for the Matt Millen era in Detroit

Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks)

Steven Nett Division

Scott's Many Endeavors (Nick Zurawski) 9-0 W9

Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 6-3 W1

Yeezy Taught Me (Nathaniel Hoefs) 3-6 L2

Todd's Plan (Andy Todd) 2-7 L2

Tanner Glaza Division

Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 5-4 W3

Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 5-4 W2

SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 3-6 L4

Take Mahomes Country Roads (Ryan Dougherty) 3-6 L1

Week Nine Final Scores

NICK defeats SNEEN 136.84-103.78

COLE defeats RYAN 110.66-95.98

DARRIN defeats HOEFS 107.86-105.04

ALEC defeats ANDY 119.98-106.32

Heroes of the Week: RB Jonathan Taylor (34), QB Justin Herbert (31.64), QB Lamar Jackson (30.64)

Waiver Wonders: QB Matt Ryan (28.52), WR Elijah Moore (27.4), QB Josh Johnson (24.48)

What-if of the Week: If Nathan benches WR CeeDee Lamb (4.3) in favor of WR Hunter Renfrow (17.9), Darrin loses his fourth in a row.

USA TODAY Sports
Hero of the Week: RB Jonathan Taylor (Tax Paying Homeowner)

Upcoming Week 10 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)

Nick v. Alec

Darrin v. Ryan

Cole v. Hoefs

Andy v. Sneen 

Thursday Night Football: Baltimore @ Miami 7:20 PM

Sunday NOON: Atlanta @ Dallas

New Orleans @ Tennessee

Jacksonville @ Indianapolis

Cleveland @ New England

Buffalo @ NY Jets

Detroit @ Pittsburgh

Tampa Bay @ Washington

3:05 PM: Carolina @ Arizona

Minnesota @ LA Chargers

3:25 PM: Philadelphia @ Denver

Seattle @ Green Bay

Sunday Night Football: Kansas City @ Las Vegas 7:20 PM 

Monday Night Football: LA Rams @ San Francisco 7:15 PM

BYES: Cincinnati, Chicago, NY Giants, Houston

Bro...

I know it's a different league/sport and all ("Never cross streams!" Father Todd used to always say) but, Bro League Basketball is still worth mentioning (especially when I'm actually doing okay there and my football team is decidedly NOT worth mentioning). Nearly a dozen games into the NBA season for most teams and it's obvious that A. COVID hasn't gone anywhere and B. This shit is wide open for everybody (are the Bulls seriously contenders? Is Boston going to be lucky to land in the play-in? Warriors = #1 favorites again??? Lakers: Washed or SUPER Washed?). Drafting a nearly entirely new roster (Jarrett Allen was the only holdover with Anthony Edwards being redrafted after a midseason '20-'21 deal) has been an okay strategy thus far with my team, Charania Missiles (Insider Shams Charania's version of Adrian Wojnarowski's "Woj Bombs") sitting at a solid 2-1. The leaders of the WRBBL (Wisconsin Rapids Basketball Bro League) are Nick Zurawski and foreigner John Jennings at 3-0. Our very own Cole Walters and another b-ball exclusive partner of the Bro Leagues, Avery are both 0-3. There's going to be plenty of time for teams to sort themselves out as the league year will finish well beyond that of the WRBL fantasy season. Outsiders will probably only hear about it if either Cole or myself win it all but I bring it all up to say that... Man, the NBA is so much more fun on a night-to-night basis now that I'm interested in box scores and have rooting interests on things like Jordan Clarkson's shooting percentages and Tyler Herro's night-to-night exploits as he redeems himself after a pedestrian sophomore season.

Jim Rassol/USA TODAY Sports
Former Greenfield, Wisconsin resident Tyler Herro is lighting it up as a Sixth Man of the Year favorite so far for the 7-5 Miami Heat.

Nick Zurawski remains undefeated after making sure Sneen knew that Sneen is not a machine, Sneen is not cattle, Sneen is man. Sneen has the power to make this life free and beautiful and yet he chooses losing to Nick Zurawski. Sad. I'm not sure what 9-0 Scott's Many Endeavors' DVOA is but yeah, dude's thriving more in fantasy football this season than the corn dog salesperson at Auburn football games. Somebody needs to edit that meme template of Death knocking on a fourth door (the first three of which leaving blood trails) with Alec's name on it. Can Z get to double-digits before I finish another delayed WRBL Week in Review or will Alec pull a Lee Corso by stating "NOT SO FAST MY FRIENDS!" and put on a mascot head of his choosing. PS: What would Alec's mascot head be? He's a Tax Paying Homeowner. Would it be a mailbox? paperwork? do the Chicago Bears have a mascot? Is it just a severed foot due to past kicking woes?

Steve Todd
I actually met the Bears' mascot many years ago at a bar in Pittsville, Wisconsin.

Opponents seem to just love playing Todd's Plan as of late so congratulations to SNEEN MACHINE on the recovery week after I lost to Alec. The Tax Paying Homeowner remains tied for first in the Tanner Glaza Division with the Colieveland 96ers, one week after Walt and his dawgs rode the Dolphins defense of all players to a low-scoring victory over Ryan. It's amazing that despite a wild game like the 9-6 Jaguars upset of Buffalo happening, the fantasy impact was muted as a whole. Lower scoring was certainly a theme this week with Buffalo, Kansas City, Green Bay, some of Dallas and plenty of the Rams malfunctioning in ways unforeseen leading up to week 9. Alas, the top four teams in the WRBL won and the bottom four lost. Like much of Hollywood's Box Office these days, week 9 was just a shittier sequel or remake of everything leading up to this. The only highlight Darrin quietly stealing a victory from Nathaniel's fingertips by 2.82 points. Some might blame Hoefs for not seeing the absence of a true #1 wideout in Vegas opening up the door for Hunter Renfrow to become Derek Carr's #1B option (#1A being TE Darren Waller), others might argue that the loss of future inmate Henry Ruggs really led to RB Josh Jacobs getting four catchable targets (despite not being known as any type of pass-catcher) for Vegas and propelling Darrin to his first win in four weeks. 

Ryan's Take Mahomes Country Roads team name led to extremely limited success to the tune of 3-6 so with a lack of Mahomes (received his first benching) comes a new team name: Big Nick Energy. I hope that energy is just being used to beat Nick and not a way for Ryan to speak a nine-game winning streak into existence for himself. If that works, I'm renaming my team "WINNING LOTTO TICKET THE ONE TIME I WATCH THE NEWS FOR IT". Shit, that might be too many characters... How about "Andy's Dream Girl"? No wait, that's ultimately part of "Todd's Plan". "Free Medical Care and Therapy for the Homies"? That's more like it but again... character limit. I'm open to suggestions, I'll just leave the Suggestion Box outside Cole's house and hope Max doesn't chew it up and spit it out like this fantasy season has done to my team. As Russell Wilson tweeted before ultimately being removed from IR this week "No More Pin. Time To Win.". 

USA TODAY Sports
Not only did the Seahawks' offensive line have former Wisconsin Badger Russell Wilson SEEING ghosts, they also had him SPEAKING to them.

My TD-only league's midseason meeting was a success (in my own mind) with us sacrificing a first rounder in next year's draft (WE HAVE 11 KEEPERS, before you panic/judge) to land WR Van Jefferson after the failed Michael Thomas galaxy-brain trade of the 2021 draft. Todd's Tornados also turned QB Jordan Love (prior to his first career start) into QB Baker Mayfield (needed depth at the moment) and WR Courtland Sutton (Calvin Ridley insurance if nothing else) and WR Allen Lazard (unvaccinated depth piece worth nothing to us) into an 8th rounder and RB J.D. McKissic (needed depth at the moment). We may have fallen a game out of first but, we are far from out of it in this weirdo bonkers year. Speaking of weird stuff, what of last week was fluke and where do the teams looking on the brink of breaking go from here on out? The Chiefs don't get their Andy Reid-magic bye week until week 12 and have to play division rivals in the city of sin on Sunday Night Football while the Rams look to recover from losing to a team that just lost their MVP candidate (Titans: Derrick Henry) on Monday Night Football against the San Francisco 49ers, a team holding out for a miracle to get them back into realistically grabbing the 7th playoff seed in the NFC as the third wildcard instead of fading into the team they've been every year under Kyle Shanahan that they didn't fall into a Super Bowl. No Chicago, Cincy, Houston or the New York Giants this week so at least the quality of play should be up! Let's hope the fantasy points are too!

Scoring Leaders

QB

Tom Brady 200.9 (Sneen)

Lamar Jackson 196.36 (Nick)

Patrick Mahomes 161.62 (Ryan)

Josh Allen 158.12 (Cole)

Kyler Murray 151.96 (Hoefs)

Aaron Rodgers 139.4 (Darrin)

Joe Burrow 124.38 (Alec)

Russell Wilson 98.64 (Andy)

Justin Herbert 42.64 (Hoefs)

Matthew Stafford 37.26 (Darrin)

Derek Carr 35.68 (Alec)

Ryan Tannehill 35.22 (Andy)

Daniel Jones 32.62 (Cole/Nick)

Jalen Hurts 27.9 (Ryan)

Tua Tagovailoa 26.54 (Cole)

Dak Prescott 18.88 (Sneen)

Justin Fields 14.42 (Andy)

RB

Derrick Henry 193.3 (Darrin)

Jonathan Taylor 187.4 (Alec)

Austin Ekeler 164.4 (Sneen)

Najee Harris 159 (Cole)

Alvin Kamara 158 (Darrin)

Joe Mixon 148.5 (Nick)

Aaron Jones 148.3 (Ryan)

Ezekiel Elliott 138.5 (Nick)

Nick Chubb 121 (Ryan)

Dalvin Cook 88.9 (Sneen)

Darrell Henderson 82.1 (Sneen)

James Robinson 74.7 (Ryan)

Christian McCaffrey 73 (Hoefs)

David Montgomery 69.8 (Alec)

D'Andre Swift 68.9 (Cole)

Darrel Williams 59.6 (Andy)

Antonio Gibson 58.3 (Andy)

Chase Edmonds 56.5 (Hoefs)

Saquon Barkley 55.6 (Cole)

Leonard Fournette 55 (Darrin)

Chuba Hubbard 50.6 (Andy/Nick)

Damien Harris 50.4 (Andy)

Alexander Mattison 49.4 (Hoefs/Andy)

Kareem Hunt 36.7 (Hoefs)

Elijah Mitchell 36.4 (Andy)

Chris Carson 35.4 (Nick)

Clyde Edwards-Helaire 32.2 (Hoefs)

Josh Jacobs 30.5 (Darrin)

Cordarrelle Patterson 30.3 (Sneen)

Khalil Herbert 27.1 (Alec)

Alex Collins 26 (Andy/Alec)

D'Ernest Johnson 24.8 (Hoefs)

Myles Gaskin 21.1 (Cole)

Miles Sanders 17.3 (Nick)

Devontae Booker 15.2 (Nick)

A.J. Dillon 13 (Andy)

Mike Davis 12.1 (Alec)

Melvin Gordon 11.2 (Ryan)

James Conner 10.7 (Sneen)

Kenyan Drake 10.5 (Ryan)

Zack Moss 10.3 (Ryan)

Michael Carter 9.6 (Cole)

J.D. McKissic 9.6 (Cole)

Kenneth Gainwell 2.7 (Hoefs)

Raheem Mostert 2 (Cole)

James White 0.6 (Andy)

WR

Cooper Kupp 235.4 (Hoefs)

Tyreek Hill 185.1 (Nick)

Davante Adams 154.6 (Cole)

Keenan Allen 129 (Andy)

DeAndre Hopkins 125.6 (Darrin)

Stefon Diggs 124.8 (Hoefs)

DK Metcalf 122.7 (Alec)

Michael Pittman Jr. 114.6 (Ryan)

Justin Jefferson 114.24 (Alec)

Amari Cooper 112.7 (Ryan)

A.J. Brown 113.4 (Alec)

Deebo Samuel 107.2 (Nick)

Adam Thielen 105.1 (Darrin)

Mike Evans 95.5 (Andy)

Terry McLaurin 95.2 (Nick)

Brandin Cooks 95.1 (Darrin)

CeeDee Lamb 93.9 (Hoefs)

D.J. Moore 90.2 (Sneen)

Ja'Marr Chase 83.2 (Sneen)

Chris Godwin 77.8 (Alec)

Mike Williams 76.5 (Sneen)

Calvin Ridley 71.1 (Andy)

Robert Woods 63.6 (Sneen)

Diontae Johnson 61.3 (Andy)

Jaylen Waddle 43.2 (Cole)

Tee Higgins 29.8 (Cole)

Marquise Brown 28.1 (Darrin)

Courtland Sutton 26.5 (Cole)

Allen Robinson 24.6 (Sneen)

Jakobi Meyers 20.8 (Hoefs)

DeVonta Smith 19.8 (Ryan)

Julio Jones 19.4 (Ryan)

D.J. Chark 16.8 (Cole)

Randall Cobb 16.5 (Cole)

Emmanuel Sanders 14.1 (Cole)

Tyler Lockett 13.5 (Andy)

Jerry Jeudy 12.9 (Alec)

Hunter Renfrow 12.8 (Hoefs)

Kadarius Toney 9.06 (Andy)

Chase Claypool 3.7 (Ryan)

TE

Travis Kelce 144.8 (Andy)

Mark Andrews 120 (Sneen)

Darren Waller 99 (Hoefs)

Kyle Pitts 91.1 (Ryan)

T.J. Hockenson 87.9 (Alec)

Noah Fant 87 (Nick)

Mike Gesicki 68.5 (Cole)

George Kittle 40.6 (Darrin)

Logan Thomas 33.7 (Cole)

Dalton Schultz 26.8 (Darrin)

Dallas Goedert 25.2 (Hoefs)

Tyler Higbee 25.2 (Darrin)

Jared Cook 10.8 (Nick)

Tyler Conklin 9.5 (Alec)

Rob Gronkowski 9.5 (Ryan)

Robert Tonyan 7.9 (Alec)

Dawson Knox 7.5 (Ryan)

Hunter Henry 4.3 (Sneen)

K

Tyler Bass 83 (Cole)

Justin Tucker 78 (Sneen)

Matt Gay 74 (Nick)

Brandon McManus 71 (Alec)

Harrison Butker 66 (Darrin)

Daniel Carlson 37 (Ryan)

Nick Folk 37 (Hoefs)

Matt Prater 36 (Andy/Sneen/Andy)

Mason Crosby 27 (Hoefs/Cole)

Jason Sanders 21 (Andy)

Greg Joseph 19 (Ryan)

Younghoe Koo 17 (Hoefs)

Randy Bullock 12 (Andy)

Greg Zuerlein 10 (Nick)

Josh Lambo 1 (Ryan)

DF

Tampa Bay Buccaneers 55 (Alec)

Los Angeles Rams 46 (Cole/Andy)

Arizona Cardinals 41 (Cole/Sneen)

Buffalo Bills 41 (Sneen/Nick)

Denver Broncos 40 (Andy)

New Orleans Saints 37 (Ryan/Darrin)

Carolina Panthers 26 (Darrin/Alec)

Cleveland Browns 23 (Nick)

Miami Dolphins 22 (Cole)

Pittsburgh Steelers 20 (Hoefs/Sneen)

Dallas Cowboys 17 (Hoefs/Darrin)

New England Patriots 17 (Nick)

San Francisco 49ers 17 (Nick/Cole/Hoefs)

Indianapolis Colts 14 (Ryan/Nick)

Green Bay Packers 9 (Cole)

Atlanta Falcons 6 (Cole)

Las Vegas Raiders 4 (Hoefs)

Washington Football Team 3 (Darrin)

Tennessee Titans 2 (Hoefs)

Cincinnati Bengals 2 (Nick/Hoefs)

Baltimore Ravens -2 (Sneen/Hoefs)

Chicago Bears -6 (Ryan)

Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose)

Scott's Many Endeavors 8-1

Team ChowHounds 5-4

Tax Paying Homeowner 5-4

SNEEN MACHINE 4-5

Yeezy Taught Me 4-5

Colieveland 96ers 4-5

Take Mahomes Country Roads 4-5

Todd's Plan 2-7